


† Curse named human †

by LBC_jrock_fanfiction



Category: Dir en grey, D’espairsRay, Gackt (Musician) RPF, Kamijo (Musician) RPF, Malice Mizer, Miyavi (Musician), Nightmare (Band), Pierrot (Band), Plastic Tree, Sugizo (Musician), the GazettE
Genre: Afterworld, Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Historical, Break Up, Character Death, Death, Explicit Language, Heaven & Hell, Lemon, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Rebirth, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-09-28 18:48:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 40
Words: 280,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17188427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LBC_jrock_fanfiction/pseuds/LBC_jrock_fanfiction
Summary: After a hard lifetime on earth, Toshiya arrives in heaven. Protected by his Guardian Angel Hakuei, he gets introduced to the whole heaven and hell system. Together with old and new friends, a new life begins.... until peace between heaven and hell is threatened because of some old prophecy.Rebirth and death, soulmates finding and loosing each other, flashbacks to past centuries and the future.... everything packed into 40 chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sign explanation:
> 
> “......” (speaking) ‘.......’ (thinking) ^.....^ (speaking with somebody mentally)
> 
> Disclaimer:  
> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original story is the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made out of this and to the story connected creations like music and trailer videos.
> 
> Goodies:  
> \- There is a Piano-Soundtrack especially composed for this fanfiction. You can find it on youtube: CNH-Soundtrack by Kiwii216. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWt9LU4qWWE&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC
> 
> \- There are two movie trailers about this fanfic:  
> https://vimeo.com/138390941  
> https://vimeo.com/138391068
> 
> \- Included to this fiction there is one information file (PDF) about the OST and explanations about the heaven and hell ranks. Make sure to look at them (spoiler alert!) if you feel lost with some of the characters and ranks. You can download it here: https://www.dropbox.com/s/7mqwl2mbl4ew7e8/CNH-Fanfiction_Information_package.pdf?dl=0
> 
> A/N:  
> This is a story I wrote for myself. It's strange, it's questioning, maybe it's hard to read and understand sometimes but please be patient, this was growing over 17 years. And because it's too long, it's not Beta-Read, I'm sorry.

Songs to this chapter: 01 – Curse Named Human trailer version

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWt9LU4qWWE&index=1&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWt9LU4qWWE&index=1&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

02 – An Angel’s Nightmare

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v9SOgftan4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v9SOgftan4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=2)

  
 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 1

 

_Captured by life, I cried out for you... death_

 

Europe 1636

 

 

The young man winced and settled the two heavy and over-filled buckets down in front of the back entrance of the big manor house. It was unbelievably cold, his hands were so numb that he could barely touch and hold anything. The entrance where servants had to enter was muddy and unseen by the fine aristocratic family which hired him many years ago. It was a very old and traditional house with big wooden doors and windows and its grateful walls could even stand the heaviest autumn storms which blew every year monstrously against the stable and the iron gate in front of the big landholding.

Toshiya held his icy hands against to his mouth while he tried to warm them up with the little breath he was able to give from all the hard work but it was hopeless. Even his breath seemed to be frozen by the inhuman cold outside.

A loud noise coming from inside the house made his heart beat faster. He was afraid and scared. All his poor life long he was afraid. His master was a terrible man, always in a bad mood and hating everything around him, maybe even himself. And he was perfect in transmitting this hate in form of any damage to the people around him.

Like awaking from a state of dream, his body didn't really move but shake its way to the door. He had to deal with this every day but he never got used to it. The 'special' treatments he seemed to have deserved. That’s what he got told all too often.

Sometimes he caught himself thinking, seeing his own physical body from the outside. It was not strange to him, it seemed like a protection against the harm… thinking his way out of the violence, away from the physical burden, switching off his thinking and feeling. He was tired. Tired of working, tired of obeying and tired of living.

He tried to open the door with his icy hands which seemed to have all shapes of strange colors like his feet or the other parts of his body. He rubbed over his nose, trying to feel it again but the coldness was forgotten when finally the door jumped open and hit him hard on his head. The pain shot through him and his limp feet made him tumble and fall down to the snow covered ground. His eyes filled up with tears and the little hot tears rolled over his bony cheeks, falling down into the frozen snow. He tried to collect his mind but couldn’t loose the dizzy feeling. He slumped down to the ground again and winced by the loud voice which howled at him.

“Get up you lazy bastard!”

The next thing he felt was his body getting kicked.... until he could feel nothing no more.... He was weak. Always been. And no matter what life was, this was the only definition he knew. Toshiya was so hurt and damaged, body and mind, that he felt like getting more stupid with every day he woke up again. A walking corpse created by the moods of god… if there was a god. He never believed in it. He lost his faith. A very long time ago.

“I said GET UP!!!”

The mad man grabbed Toshiya on his rag clothes and threw him in front of the heavy buckets. The boy hit hard onto the ground and his hands started to bleed from the impact. But there was no time to feel pain when the voice bellowed behind him again and again.

“Get the buckets in!”

“Yes Master.” He stuttered like a child, afraid to get hurt for a wrong breath. He hung his head low and realized that the man had left the dusty kitchen to go back upstairs into the heated rooms.

Toshiya hated winter. It was a daily fight to survive. And without a roof over his head he could be dead within minutes.... which seemed like a welcome change but he was too afraid, a coward to end the life himself.

 

The not existing self-confidence came from his mother who used to be some whore in town. He never knew her or the sad story of her circumstances. All Toshiya knew was that he cursed the day when his Master and his mad wife came into the orphanage to get themselves a servant instead of a child.

And children usually didn't sleep in stables either.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The next morning, the wind was as cold as ice. Toshiya was on his weekly way to the market to buy fruit and vegetables. The coldness seemed to seep right through the rags to his thin body, entering every cell and the long forgotten memories of warmth seemed like a far away dream to him.

He pulled his old cape tighter, his eyes opened in thin slits to make out the snow covered way into town. When the snow became darker and muddy he knew that he would soon arrive in town. Horse coaches passed him, noble looking men and women too, dressed in expensive clothes and hats.... in comparison to them, Toshiya was worthless. Too low even to be noticed. No one would ever look at him, really look at him or notice him.

He hated the spoiled and superficial society of town and wanted to get his business done as quick as possible. In a hurry he made his was up to the market place. That his feet were hurting was bitter and daily truth.

When he passed a bakery, the smell of fresh baked bread, biscuits and cake filled the air. But he didn't dare to look at the showing window, just to spare the pain.

Toshiya abruptly stopped when a little girl blocked his way by standing in the middle of the footway. She looked with big, sparkling eyes at the showing window, looking like a forgotten doll with her long red cape and gloves. In her hand a paper bag full off biscuits.

Her hair was bound into two little ponytails on each side of her head and she wore a little hat too. She smiled up lovely at Toshiya with her little red cheeks when he stopped in front of her. To him, she looked like a little fairy.

“Hey! Large man!” She shouted up cheeky.

A smile formed on his cold lips and Toshiya bent down to her that he was able to look her into the eyes.

“Hello Princess. How are you?”

“I'm quite fine, thank you. And you?” She started the conversation like a grown up.

“I'm fine too... just a little cold.”

“Yes I know but look...” She pointed at her coat. “My mom bought me this and it’s quite warm.” She smiled and automatically Toshiya had to join her.

“I must say it really suits you well.”

“Thank you Mr.” She never stopped smiling. “Here.” She hold out her paper bag. “Do you wanna have a biscuit?”

“Oh no thank you. They are all yours.”

“Yes but they are just tooooo much for me. So take one!” She insisted and Toshiya happily gave in, the little gesture warming his heart.

“Tell me Princess are you alone here? Where are your parents?”

“My mommy is still in the bakery and my father is down there.” She pointed over to a dressmaker. The most expensive one in town. Toshiya had heard of him. His Master had bought several suits there as well. Coming to think of....

Toshiya straightened up from his position and took his basket up again.

“Where are you going?” She wanted to know.

“I have to go to the market.” She simply looked up at him, almost observed him. “It was nice to make your acquaintance.” Toshiya added and she smiled again. It was an inner reflex which made him stretch out his hand and care over her cheek.

“Bye bye Princess.”

“Hey!” She shouted and Toshiya turned around in reflex. “What is your name?” She wanted to know.

“My name is Toshiya! And thank you for the biscuit!” He waved a last time and finally went his way to the market place.

This little encounter really made his day. It was so short and for most people it would be insignificant but it really warmed Toshiya's heart. It was strange to say but the little girl really left an impression on him... she seemed so pure and free of evil and guilt. A little Angel.... but what was her name again? He forgot to ask her about her name.

His daydream came to an abrupt end when Toshiya felt someone grabbing him on his arm and shoving him into the next small alley behind the houses. Something was pointed at his back and Toshiya didn't dare to move. Everything happened too fast, Toshiya couldn't even scream or shout for help. With one strong hand he got pushed against a brick wall from behind and what was about to come next was the most painful experiences a human being could ever make.

Not only did the strange man take all of Toshiya's money, his dirty needs seemed to go deeper and became even more painful. Weak and numb from the cold, Toshiya tried to struggle himself free and when he wanted to shout, the other hand covered his mouth from behind. The ugly man behind him seemed taller and stronger than Toshiya was.... the sudden pain entering his body, every fiber of his body felt like turning black, dying from within. Something in that moment ceased to exist and pain got a new definition. It expanded the physical. A slow and painful death.

Tears shot into his eyes but he couldn't even scream. When Toshiya turned his head in the alley he saw something red at the end of the little street.... and he widened his eyes in shock.

The little girl started to scream when she witnessed what happened to Toshiya. The ugly man behind him pulled up his trousers hastily, still pointing with the gun against Toshiya's back.

That was when the little girl started running towards them blindly, calling out for Toshiya whose heart threatened to stop the same moment.

“NO! RUN!” Toshiya shouted back at her but with no use. Without thinking about his act, he hit the man behind him into his guts and started to run towards the girl. Toshiya grabbed her and ran all the way out of the alley.

A shot echoed through the air.

His footsteps became slower, the girl landed on her feet and it seemed like slow motion when she saw Toshiya slowly slumping onto his knees and then all flat onto the street.

She didn't really understand what happened but she knelt down next to Toshiya and shook him on his shoulder.

“Toshiya, stand up! Come on!”

But the young man didn't react. Slowly, people started to gather around them and the little girl started to sob when there was no response coming back.

In the distance, somebody shouted for the little girl.

“SHINYA! Oh my god! Are you all right?!”

The little girls' mother ran towards her child. The same moment Toshiya slightly opened his eyes again.

“Hey.... “ He coughed and had difficulties to speak. “Shinya is a really.... beautiful name....” Toshiya’s breathing became harder.

“Thank you.” The little sobbed while tears still streamed down her face.

The last remaining strength threatened to leave his cold body. With all his willpower, Toshiya stretched out his arm and cared over Shinya's little cheek.

“It’s not just the name of a Princess... it’s the name of an Angel.”

And Toshiya closed his eyes. His hand fell down into the mud of the street and the little boy started to cry.

 

 

 

 

All I ever wanted was rest and mental glee

But all of you refused to let my spirit free

I believe in a place where everybody can be

and illness and death won’t ever harm me

My wounds run too deep and because of that

I am cursing you,

humanity.

 

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

What?

What happened to me? Why am I crying?

Tears of joy or tears of sadness?

I'm feeling so free...

It’s so warm.... where am I...?

I can’t see anything.

Who?

Who’s calling my name?

Is this my mother?

What do you want from me? No! Leave me alone!

Don’t touch me!

What? Who are you? What do you want from me?

What do you say?

I can’t understand you....

What? I have to wake up?

Was it just a dream? No! Let me go!

What did you say?

“Wake up Toshiya.”

Why do you know my name?

“Wake up. It’s time for you to wake up.”

Will I never have any rest?

“Come on Toshiya!”

No, I don’t want to wake up.... ah, the light. It is so bright....

“Welcome Toshiya. Welcome to the world above.”


	2. Chapter 2

Songs to this chapter: 02 – An Angel’s Nightmare

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v9SOgftan4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=2](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v9SOgftan4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=2)   
  


 

**† Curse named human †**

 

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 02

 

_Deep out of the depths you called for me_

 

 

 

“You went through a lot of suffering until you arrived here.”

It was a warm, deep voice talking to Toshiya but he couldn’t really make out if it was in his head or somewhere else around him. He felt like lying somewhere, comfortable though. Maybe it was a room but yet he couldn’t really feel how he used to feel. Something was different. Somehow he felt very strange and not really complete.

His senses were different too. He sensed on another level, deeper and different. Everything was strange from what he used to know, what he was and used to feel…. Was?… Toshiya thought in past tense. There must have been something some time ago but yet he couldn’t even make out time. There had to be an explanation for all this, something to explain at least. He felt confused.

“I will grant you as much time as you need.” The strange voice again.

Toshiya felt the urge to open his eyes. He had to know where he was, who was talking to him. But all he could see was darkness. Something like an inner urge told him to move, stretch out his hands, moving his legs, breathing in and out but he didn’t feel anything. He existed in a way he couldn’t explain to himself. All this made no sense to him. Slowly he felt captured in something so much bigger than himself that he started to panic.

‘Escape! Let me escape from this place! Everything is so dark! Without color, without meaning, without life!’

“You came back to us. Be strong and wake up.”

‘What are you talking about? I don’t know what you mean! Is this a riddle?’ Toshiya thought but the other creature answered nevertheless.

“For some beings life is a riddle but for those who understand it has been an experienced learn-procession of their souls.”

Now Toshiya felt even more confused. If there was a thing like going crazy he was sure to feel this way right now. He felt like a riddle and the voice next to him spoke in riddles too.

“You have to remember. Remember who you are, remember where you have been, remember what you have been.”

Suddenly Toshiya felt his mind getting carried away. He was changing place. If there was a structure like time he felt like going backwards. It all happened automatically.

“Now try to see, look.”

He felt as if a warm wave went through his soul and then there was light. He had changed from dark into light. Slowly he made out colors and then he saw a world where different beings and things were living in. Words crossed his mind, feelings and emotions and in the same moment he felt like coming back into a physical body. He moved. Legs, hands but yet he didn’t touch anything. He couldn’t. Grass. He was standing on grass but it wasn’t like he used to know it. He seemed to be here to see, to observe. What was about to come next?

Slowly he got used to the feeling to ‘see’ again and remember things with their names. The grass he was standing on, a tree, the sky, sunlight… somehow it was so special to him to recognize these things again... To him it felt like he hadn’t been in any state of existing for a very long time. He must have been somewhere else but right now everything was just confusing. In reflex his spiritual body turned around and he looked at a big nice house.

‘Living’ was what he remembered first but nothing more seemed to form in his mind when finally the door opened loud and a little boy with dark hair ran out of the building. Suddenly a feeling of panic rushed through him and he felt that the boy was obviously running away from something or somebody. With a feeling of sadness he noticed the dirty rags of clothes and the little boys’ dirty face. That was normal … Without any reason he felt like moving… Toshiya walked towards the little boy. He wanted to speak. He moved his mouth.

“Hey little boy, what are you afraid of?”

Toshiya stretched out his arm. He wanted to touch the little boy but before he was able to get into any contact the vision almost broke when the little boy ran right through him. He was invisible and only someone who observed the situation. Obviously from another sphere.

‘Oh my god...’ Was all Toshiya could think of and then he got the feeling like being captured in a nightmare. Right afterwards an old man appeared in the door, running behind the little boy and holding a long wooden stick in his hands. By seeing the old but strong man, full of hate and madness, pain started to rush through Toshiya’s spiritual body. He was scared. Fear. Living in fear… His mind seemed to try to remember something but he still couldn’t fully grasp it.

The little boy climbed up a high tree, unsuccessfully trying to hide. The mad man shouted up to the boy and Toshiya's’ ears almost ached by the voice and its sound. He recognized and remembered the yelling tone of it. It made him shudder all over.

“TOSHIMASA! Come down! COME DOWN AT ONCE!”

‘Oh my God this can’t be happening....’

“If you don’t come down immediately you wish not to be born!” The man shouted hatefully up to the little boy and his hands were trembling in anger and with them the long wooden stick.

A nightmare, trauma… the boy up there was shivering in fear. He heard the boys inner voice, gambling with himself whether to come down or do something else up there but the little shaking figure already knew how the whole thing would end. Captured in this situation, in his whole life… A devilish circle he couldn’t step out of. Toshiya felt like crying. He felt so helpless, so sorry for all that had happened. Miserable was what he felt like.

Then his vision faded again. Toshiya felt some kind of space which he decided to call time. He went back again. He obviously wasn’t done with observing this one situation. But already now he’s had enough… and he wondered: Why did he has to see all of this again? Feel all this? What was it good for? It was such a long time ago and now he got punished by feeling what the victim felt? There must be something evil going on with him and there was nothing he could do against. He felt so helpless, he was extradited to the situations.

Then the nightmare continued and Toshiya found himself standing in a big and expensive looking room… a living room.

“Why did God punish us so hard...”

“My dear it is not your fault. Your sister has got the same problem with this hereditary disease.”

“But we need someone to help us around the house… And we're not getting younger. We need a child.”

“I know. Let's see.... why not looking for a child at the orphanage?””

 

Toshiya moved backwards from the whole situation. This was going to end in an dilemma. Somehow he KNEW it. He shook his head in shock. This should have never happened. Curse the day when they came up with this stupid stupid idea!

Toshiya stopped cursing when he felt getting carried away again. Fast. Forward it seemed. Then all of a sudden he felt very hot. His skin felt like burning. He stood on a field. Wide and dry, dusty it was. A hot and sunny day. He looked around when he found a young man standing only feet away from him. He moved himself closer to the body without leaving any footprints on the earth which seemed quite strange but yet he wasn’t really thinking about it since everything was quite strange anyway. Then his gaze wandered down the back of the man. The naked upper part of the body. Devastating. Disgusting. It was brutal to look at him. Toshiya felt like crying again and so did the person on the field. He felt how salty tears rolled down the young man’s sore cheeks, sore from tears and pain. He knew what it felt like again.

Hesitantly Toshiya moved closer and he stretched out his hand but pulled it back in an instant. These wounds, everywhere these wounds. Bruises and black spots marking the bony and haggard body of the torn out being in front of him. He felt so ashamed. Ashamed of the own reflection in front of him. Somehow he felt so related to this person. But before Toshiya was able to grasp that idea he felt his mind getting carried away again into another situation.

He found himself in darkness where shadows were moving around him. He panicked. He felt something being in the room. Then he heard a sound. A sound he knew. A sound which he hated and feared the most.

Do you know how it sounds like when some creature is hiding in the dark and with every breath it takes you can feel the fear in its breathing?

It’s like a hunt. A hunt to survive... It’s the worst thing Toshiya could ever think of. Then a terrible sound and Toshiya, in his psychological state, literally broke down. He screamed but yet he was sure nobody could hear him. Only the voice of the person in his vision could be heard… and the terrible noises of a whip on a bare body. Pictures shot through his mind and in an instant he felt like the observing person again…. and slowly he got a hint what all of this possibly meant.

It wasn’t just a related person suffering in his visions, it was him. God knows when all of this had happened but now he knew that it must have been a longer time ago. Otherwise he would have hardly forgotten all that. He observed it like a movie. All this suffering, pain, punishment, hard work… for nothing. The old well known feeling of ‘worthless’ came up again. This was no living, this was surviving. Living… Sure, he must have lived somewhere! A longer time ago because it felt all so alien to him.

Toshiya panicked. Captured in a spiritual state he stared at the beaten into a bleeding bulp-body next to him. It was a real nightmare. He had to get out of here… this state whatever it was! Someone has to help him! He couldn't bare this situations any longer! Not a second time! Never again!

Toshiya stood up and tried to run but no matter how fast his legs moved he remained running on the same spot. He panicked and although his feet were moving like mad he felt how icy temperatures crept up his legs and all at once there was a change in situations again. Toshiya stopped and looked down on him. He hold a basket in his hands and all around him was heavy winter.

Panic arose again and the feeling of being helplessly captured in this old nightmare didn’t make it better. He was afraid what a horrible thing would occur next… and there was no running away from it. He was captured in all of this.

Out of reflex he rubbed his hands together but he hold something very precious in his hands. Money… That’s how they’d called it. It was something to get something in return. The market… a cold day in winter… he hated winter… He tried to remember anything but he couldn’t. All he could do was to wait, to observe the situation, how the body runs into his next misery.

He saw himself standing in front of a bakery. Toshiya first didn’t really understand then he got a sense how he must have felt like in that moment. Happiness by the sight of someone....

a little girl standing right in front of him, talking to him. A warm feeling encircled his heart.

Change of scenes... Panic again, the thought of running away, escaping but for some reason he stayed. He was in great danger! He felt himself unable to move. The other presence…. a stranger.. harm… he’s going to harm myself in some way… HELP!

‘No! Leave me alone! Am I not tortured enough?! Leave me alone, PLEASE!’

Immortal Toshiya clasped his hands over his ears and closed his eyes. He screamed and cried next to the vision he was 'living through' again. No matter how much he screamed or tried to touch the people in his vision… he was helpless and everything happened again. He was captured in his own mind! And he broke in any way a mind was able to break. He couldn’t escape all that suffering and pain, it was everywhere.

But the situation wasn’t over yet. Toshiya opened his eyes and turned his head like the mortal Toshiya to the entrance of the alley.

The little girl! She saw it and she screamed. She was in danger! The mortal Toshiya started to run. Not for his life but for hers. A gunshot followed and then a burning pain in his chest. The immortal Toshiya and the man in his vision touched the same spot at the same time where the shot had went through. Toshiya looked down and thought to see blood on his hands. He touched his chest and dipped his fingers into the mortal liquid. Blood. Blood spilled. Blood to be killed. He collapsed and fell down onto the ground.

His vision darkened. He couldn't see any longer how he used to… he felt something happening with his body... he died. He was leaving. Leaving for something he didn’t know. Leaving the mortal life. Leaving this world of pain. But before his mind had completely switched off he recalled one last sentence.

“It’s not only the name of a Princess... it’s the name of an Angel.”

That was the only lovely memory he carried with him. The only nice person he had ever met in this life.

Then again coldness which slowly faded as soon as his spirit had left the dead body. He was pulled into something and at the same time he felt like falling. Deep. Something much deeper and unknown. He fell into some kind of slumber. He slept. His senses were completely switched off and his soul was dead in a strange way.

_________________________

The Guardian Angel Hakuei who had observed Toshiya the whole time over during his travel through his past life was calling out to him. He felt that Toshiya’s soul was threatening to slip through his hands again. Into another sphere where he may not be able to follow or find him again.

“Toshiya, can you hear me?!” The Angel shook Toshiya’s immortal body. “Toshiya answer me in any way! Open your eyes! Don’t get lost in this trauma!!”

The Angel got no response.

“I beg you! Come back to the life here! Please! Don’t stay in this psychological shock!… don’t make me loose you again…” The Angel became desperate.

But Toshiya's soul didn’t react. He couldn’t hear the Angel screaming at him. In fact he had fallen deeper into something not every soul was passing through. A place where restless souls get lost to and where all the suffering repeats again and again. The nightmare which they were living in was projected into this world and pulled the poor soul deeper into its misery. At that point it became dangerous for the soul’s surviving…. And the soul became almost unreachable.

Hakuei sat next to the immortal body of Toshiya. An immortal body without soul. And it was his job to get this soul back!

He started to communicate with Toshiya's mind. Through his thoughts he started speaking to Toshiya's soul but he couldn’t find him anywhere. The Angel felt the fragile threat to the soul starting to get thin…. Threatening thin. He had to handle other wise he would loose Toshiya forever!

The Guardian Angel positioned himself over Toshiya’s immortal lifeless body. Within a second and a gust of wind majestic wings formed at the back of the Angel’s body, shining in the brightest white and with a slight golden illumination. The Angel moved his large wings high up in the air and then down again. With his beautiful wings he enclosed Toshiya’s and his body at the same time. He concentrated on the hurt soul and miraculously his angelic body became frail and transparent like glass or a crystal. The Angel had split his soul from his angelic body and went right into Toshiya’s mind to search for him.

That was a dangerous situation for both souls because both of them could get lost within the victim’s personal nightmare. Thus it was the last alternative a Guardian Angel would chose.

Immediately he had been sucked into Toshiya’s nightmare and he found himself in a garden. Maybe nice at first sight but not to forget what kind of soul was captured in this self built world. These depths could be worse than hell. A personal imagination and thus no boundaries. A horrible and dangerous place for those who cannot control it.

The Angel turned around like a human would do because in this world he’s had a body like a human again. Means with no wings and no magical powers. Then in the distance he spotted a door on open field. Wondering what this possibly meant he pushed the door open and walked through it. He left the garden and found himself in front of a huge labyrinth. The walls impossibly high and out of dark stone. Immediately he picked one of the entrances and started to run. And he ran…. And ran…. And there was no end in sight and no ways branching off. A senseless labyrinth. The Angel stopped and shouted out loud.

“Toshiya! I am here to rescue you! Where are you?!”

No response.

“Toshiya! What are you planning to do?! Catching me in here? In an endless labyrinth?!”

The Angel couldn’t hide his frustration. It seemed hopeless. Out of reflex the Angel turned around because he heard someone approaching from behind.

“What? Toshiya is that you?”

He walked closer to the being which formed in the distance. Then he recognized an older man. The Angel became suspicious. He’d heard of pain reflections so he had to be very careful.

“Toshimasa... “ The man hissed in a tone even the Angel had to shudder. “You have been such a bad boy....”

“You are not real.” Hakuei said and didn’t see it coming. A stroke hit him into his stomach and he tumbled. The pain Toshiya had once felt was reflecting right into his body. Now he knew why every Angel said this kind of state was dangerous… it hurt like hell! The Angel hold his stomach and wanted to look up at the reflection when the man had suddenly disappeared.

Hakuei ran through the endless Labyrinth but not for long. He stopped when he saw a boy lying in the middle of the way. He stopped in front of him.

“Hey little boy....”

At first there was no reaction. So he went on with the idea he had first: Touching him… or whatever it was. The boy shrieked by the lightest touch.

“Master please excuse me! I’m so sorry, I…”

The Angel narrowed his eyes. He looked closely at the boy… can it be? “Toshiya?”

“Master! I’ll never ever do something wrong again! I swear!”

It pained him. Seeing the little creature begging with its power at its end. The fear talked with and the whole body language… like a beaten dog who shrieked by the simplest movement. That soul was miserably deep into some kind of depression and hopelessness that it was frightening.

“Toshiya! I'm here to help! We have to get out of here!”

“Yes, Master. I’ll go back to work!”

The Angel shook his head. He was close to believe that it was hopeless but there was no time to resign because the boy wanted to run off and the Angel caught him at his arm. The boy started to become hysterical. No wonder because he didn’t know who or what exactly held him back and for what cause. Because the vision playing in the victims head only knows what it experienced.

“No Master! What have I done wrong? Please let me go!”

“Toshiya! What kind of game is this? If you don’t like it here it’s you who can end it! Do something against all this suffering! It’s just a vision you’re recreating!”

The boy came to a hold but still shivered like a deer. Slightly he turned his head to the person who spoke to him then he answered.

“What you want will be.”

Slowly the Angel let go off the little boy’s arm and off he ran into the distance and then he disappeared. The Angel cursed to himself for not having thought about such a reaction but stopped when he saw a way branching off the labyrinth. Great. Now there was a change in direction. If it’s good or bad he would find out soon enough.

After he’d entered the branch way the first feeling which rushed over his body was warmth. Heat to be exactly. He felt exhausted and his breathing became harder.

‘What kind of Illusion was that again?’

He went on walking. The sun burned down on his bare trunk, the feeling of hunger and thirst came up. First he was startled but then surprised how it felt like again. It must have been ages ago since Hakuei felt this human cravings.

“You lazy piece of shit!”

Startled the Angel turned around but he had no time to react and a hard stroke of a whip sent him down to the ground. This burning pain… he’d never experienced such pain in a lifetime before and now he was wrinkling himself in pain on the dirty ground.

“I said work had to be done until midday! You lazy bastard!!!”

The man was in such a rage he didn’t stop with hurting and punishing the creature on the ground. Occupied with the real feeling nightmare, Hakuei was unable to ‘contact’ Toshiya’s soul. Then with a hard kick into his stomach he felt getting sick and he vomited blood. The same procedure, the same thing that happened to Toshiya once, he reflected it onto Hakuei because they were connected.

Hakuei reached out with his shaking hand to touch the red liquid… and he had pure horror in his eyes. Blood. It was the first time since over 200 years that he saw his own blood.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Meanwhile in holy peaceful heaven where the rest of the Angel population was living, there was another Angel busy with his tasks and work. The Angel was one of the border’s watchers in God’s name. There he stood with another Angel colleague when his gaze suddenly froze. A short wave of panic had been sent to his angelic body. Someone was calling for help.

Immediately the Angel started running away from his working place. His friend turned around surprised and yelled behind the running Angel.

“DIIIIEEEEE! What are you doing?!!”

“Helping a friend!!!!”

“But hey-!“

The Angel stopped asking when Die unfold his four white wings and with a fast stroke he moved up high into the air.

“And who fills in for you?!!!!”


	3. Chapter 3

**† Curse named human †**

 

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 03

 

_Captured in your mind I'm damned to Illusions_

 

 

Cherubim Angel Die flew into the direction where the waves were coming from, like little impulses from a pumping heart. Hakuei, his friend was in danger. That was why he felt him sending thoughts of help. Die didn’t really know where the other Angel was but he felt an enclosed feeling, like being captured into something…. Die assumed what it could be but hoped that he was wrong.

The scream for help had brought him back into the sky castle. A magnificent and huge palace where most of the Angel population lived and worked. It was such a huge place that it was impossible to ever have seen everything in it. It was made out of gold and marble and flowers and plants were everywhere inside the building. It was somehow a city on its own. Huge staircases and windows, balconies, chandeliers…. Everything to make it comfortable for its residents.

But Die had no time to admire its splendor. He stormed right onto the floor where the shout for help came from and right into the private quarter of his friend. Fact was that every Angel possessed his own apartment in the sky castle. And if you’re a welcomed guest you can enter.

In haste, Die pushed the door open and found his dear friend sitting on the floor but he was not alone. Toshiya was finally there.... or what was left of him.

With his right hand, Hakuei held his protégé Toshiya’s hand while he had collapsed to the floor next to him. And Die knew that Hakuei was in too deeply. Deeper than necessary. Swallowed by the trauma of his own protégé. His wings started to loose feathers…. Die had arrived just in time.

He kneeled next the glass-body and laid his hands down onto the Guardian Angel’s back. Then he enclosed the two captured Angel’s with his four wings and concentrated. Words formed in his mind while his vision and strength widened out.

“Athah Gibor Le-olam Adonai!” ‘You, O Lord, are mighty forever!’

At the same time in Toshiya’s nightmare vision:

The weak and hurt body of the Guardian Angel lifted up from the dusty ground. The Angel opened his eyes when he felt himself get lifted by powers from the outside… something was there to help him. Then a rush of power went through his beaten body and it almost seemed as if light extended from him. Strength slowly returned to his harmed body. And he recognized that kind of power.

‘It’s you Die!!!’ He shouted in his mind.

‘I will get you out of there Hakuei.’ Die answered through his thoughts. They weren’t able to see each other yet but communication worked that way.

Die’s powers showed effect. Hakuei’s harmed body-projection lifted up from the dusty ground on its own. An inner strength, warmth and power filled him up. He had never experienced something like this before but feeling it right now he knew that his mind and powers do get linked with the helping Angel in another sphere. That was only possible because Die was an Angel from higher rank. A Cherubim.

Hakuei floated above the ground, powerful aura encircled him. He had his eyes closed but the moment he felt the threatening man from Toshiya’s vision coming back to life, he opened his eyes and glared at the culprit. He linked himself mentally with the threatening figure and felt every movement and flicker of emotion of it. Now he got him.

Before the mad man was able to do any more harm to them, the Guardian Angel lifted up one hand and with a gust of energy he sent the man down to the ground and hold him down there.

“You have no right to harm anybody.” The Guardian Angel said in a strange voice which didn't sound like his own. It belonged to nobody and wasn’t from this world. “No pain.”

But before Hakuei was able to break the spell, the old unforgotten grudge filled the world. Their fight wasn’t over yet and the created man from Toshiya’s nightmare filled the space with negative energy. The sun faded then it became dark. Hakuei’s senses were on high alert and again he spoke into the darkness with that unknown voice:

“ATHAH GIBOR LE-OLAM ADONAI!”

The words circled through Hakuei’s mind and the moment he had said them out loud he had known what they meant. ‘You, O Lord, are mighty forever!’

The sound of cracking ice echoed through the whole space and moments afterwards the darkness exploded and pieces fell down to the ground and formed into snow. Hakuei looked around suspicious. The game wasn’t over yet. He floated back to the ground and his feet touched the snow covered ground.

The strong energy faded and he knew that they were gone. Through his mind Die communicated with him.

‘Hurry Hakuei! That’s all I can give, sorry! I will stay here until you’re both back!’

‘Thanks buddy.’ And the Guardian Angel jogged into the direction where a faint energy was coming from…. He had to find Toshiya! This was his created world so he had to be somewhere! Hakuei had to get him out of here quickly before his soul got more damaged than it already was. That circle of depression was dangerous for both of them and they had to leave now.

Hakuei jogged a few more moments but slowed down when he felt a sting on his stomach. He looked down and found a wide scratch over his stomach. Could it be?! A cut. He got harmed by invisible force. That could only mean that Toshiya bore the same wound. Hakuei started running but slowed down while more and more scratches formed on his body. Saying that he wasn’t scared would be an outright lie. He didn’t want to imagine worse wounds though.

In the distance he made out a dead tree right in the middle of nowhere. He ran towards it and slowed down when he found footprints in the snow. Slowly he encircled the tree and found a covered figure sitting next to its huge trunk. Hakuei tried to speak through thoughts but the figure or person didn’t answer. It was all covered with a rag of old clothing and its feet were bare and frozen. Slowly and with shaking hands Hakuei touched the rag cloth around the figure’s head and he pulled it down from its covered face. He was horrified and stumbled backwards. He landed in the snow and was on one level with the figure's head. He slowly crawled backwards and spoke to Die through his thoughts.

‘Oh my god… that’s that’s brutal, disgusting... it’s totally damaged!’

‘What do you see?’

Hakuei silenced and watched the motionless doll. Not only that its body showed the same injuries like Hakuei. The main aspect reflected on the face which was sewed up by the eyes and the mouth as well.

‘Destroyed, dismembered…’ Hakuei stuttered. That was really one of the most brutal ways to forget about yourself and giving up on everything.

‘I’m so sorry Toshiya. Seeing you like this hurts me so much. Please, let me help you. Let’s get out of this misery, together. To see the sunlight again.'

Carefully, Hakuei stretched out his hand and he touched the black hair. But before he was able to continue, a strong grip from behind hold him around his throat and pulled him aside against the tree trunk. Something sharp was pointed at his back and although he couldn’t die like a mortal in this nightmare, serious mental damage was quite possible.

Shocked by all this brutality, Hakuei hold still. Slowly he turned his head to the right side and looked at the motionless doll next to his feet. With his mind he tried to communicate with Toshiya again.

‘Toshiya! Please listen to me! Move!’

But there was still no reaction. Except from the man behind him who started to shout disgusting and life threatening things.

Then for the first time since ages Hakuei imagined to feel his heart beating like mad… human feelings. And his fear was justified. Getting killed would either enclose him in this sick world of Toshiya or hurl him into another low dimension… Either way was no good.

The Guardian Angel tried to reach Toshiya through his thoughts again. ‘Toshiya, the only ray of hope which holds me in here is the thought that you can hear me. Please stop this. Only you can do it. You are so strong Toshiya, I know it.’

The guy behind Hakuei started to get nervous and he screamed loudly against Hakuei’s ear. “Drop your pants!” He hold the sharp thing closer to Hakuei’s back. Panic welled up but nevertheless he tried to imagine Toshiya’s soul.

‘Please wake up from this state and come with me to a place where people will love and need you Toshiya!’

The brutal and endless fight seemed lost. No reaction or acting from Toshiya whatsoever and no one else than Hakuei could possibly reach him in this world. Defeated, the Angel hung his head low but then something changed….. something seemed to happen. The destroyed creature on the ground, Toshiya, lifted up both of his hands just as if he waited for someone to embrace or lifting him up.

‘I can't! As much as I want to! You must stand up yourself!'

The situation proceeded further and it became urgent. Hakuei prepared himself for the worst but when he looked aside, the space next to him was empty!

‘Toshiya!!’

The guy held the knife against Hakuei's throat now while the Angel still leaned against the cold trunk. Hakuei slowly closed his eyes. He spoke to the man of Toshiya’s nightmare.

“I am….”

‘Toshiya, I got trust in you.’

“… not doing this…”

‘We will return together.’

“… for you…”

‘We will create a new future.’

“… but everything…”

‘Because you are loved.’

“… for him.”

Out of reaction, the guy turned around and before he was able to react there was a sharp sound in the air. After one moment of silence his head fell down onto the white, snow covered ground and his body disappeared.

Hakuei, still against the tree trunk, shivered in pure horror. At first he didn’t dare to turn around but then he heard something tossed into the snow, a scythe lying right next to him. Slowly, he moved around and found a figure with a rug cape standing motionless in front of him, the hood covering his face.

Slowly, the snow started to melt and before Toshiya was able to think himself into a new dilemma, Hakuei started to run towards him. The hurt Angel shrieked back and started to run as well in panic and fear but it was too late. The Guardian Angel got him from behind with his strong arms and the broken Angel slumped down to the ground while he started to scream and hit. Hakuei took this as his chance. Now that he had found the real mental body of his protégé, they could return together into heaven. Out of this nightmare, this endless vision of Toshiya’s hurt soul.

Quickly, he touched Toshiya's forehead with his index finger and both disappeared in light.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

‘They are coming back!’

Die kept his position over Hakuei and Toshiya’s fragile, soulless bodies to give them both energy during the hard journey. But the force of their souls returning into heaven and thus into their angelic bodies made it impossible for Die to hold onto them any longer. The energy backfired and Die was tossed back against the wall of Hakuei’s room. He shook his head and the first thing he heard of the returned Angels was a long, tortured scream from Toshiya. Then another hit against the wall followed and Hakuei landed right next to Die on the floor.

During Hakuei’s journey into Toshiya’s mind, his wings had suffered great energy loss so their energy level was quite low and his wings fragile…. The Guardian Angel wrinkled in pain because of his injured wings. Although Angels didn't posses mortal bodies in heaven and thus no human body-feelings or cravings, wings were the only sources to physically feel. Which was really inconvenient for Hakuei right now.

Die moved over to Hakuei, he wanted to steady him but didn’t dare to touch his mental hurt body.

“Holy Lord, Hakuei! Tell me how to help you!”

Hakuei simply shook his head. He was more concerned about the whimpering newborn Angel on Hakuei’s floor right in front of them. Clumsily, he stood up and steadied himself on the wall. He made his wings disappear which only hurt him more and threatened him to slump down to the ground again but Die just got him in time.

“I’ll be fine.” He carked.

“Your wings are far from fine.”

“That can wait. I’ll let you know.” Hakuei nodded at Die and the Cherub Angel understood.

“Thanks very much for your help Die, you saved both our souls.”

The red head smiled and nodded. “Anytime. You call for me if you’re in need of help ne?” And he left Hakuei’s small apartment because the shaking and silently crying figure desperately needed his attention. The blond Angel still felt Die’s energy circling through his immortal body. Die was a powerful Angel, more powerful than himself as a Guardian Angel.

Another sob brought Hakuei back.

The blond Guardian Angel moved closer and he picked up Toshiya with ease and carried him over into his bed. There he crouched himself together, shoulders shaking, bitterly crying to himself. It must have hurt him so much to see this painful experience from earth and living through it again and again.

Hakuei was so glad that he and Die got Toshiya out of it just in time and there he was: A newborn protégé who would hopefully become an Angel in the future. But until then a lot of work had to be done. Right now Toshiya was powerless and not able to do anything, sense anything.

Hakuei moved carefully down onto his bed, only to sit on the edge of it but by the slightest move Toshiya’s body jolted. It was then that the Angel saw all the bruises and scars on Toshiya’s body which was quite unusual. They should have left the moment they’d reentered heaven. He stretched out his arm to touch one of the scars on his back but the Angel moved away as if it caused him pain.

“Don’ touch me!!!” Toshiya yelled in tears.

He pressed his hurt body closer against the wall and grabbed desperately into his black hair with his bruise-covered hands. Hakuei felt helpless and shocked because he didn’t know how to react. He had never been in a situation like that before and he knew that this whole thing would cost him all the strength and power of his immortal life. Strength. That’s what he needed now. And patience, together with tenderness. A very delicate mission. A new mission for a new Guardian Angel like he was.

Another movement made Toshiya shiver. “Leave me alone!”

Hakuei opened his mouth to retard but was afraid of any false word he could possibly say…. God, he has never been a big talker too. Anyway, he tried to make a small move closer on his bed and decided that it was better to talk to Toshiya the normal way, not through thoughts like they used to do during the nightmare.

“Toshiya?” He almost whispered but the young Angel didn’t react. “May I introduce myself?”

Still no reaction. All right, so he tried to ignore him but no matter how Hakuei continued, he would hear him anyway.

“My name is Hakuei.”

A few moments of silence went by. Then....

“… I heard that name before…” Toshiya whispered with his real voice. It made Hakuei happy.

“… and yet I don’t care who you are, where we are and what I am. It’s only another state I will get pushed through.”

The blond Angel wrinkled his brows. This was going to take a looooong time. Hakuei wanted to retard but was kind of speechless when Toshiya started to silently sob again. His delicate shoulders which showed to Hakuei started to shake and with his bony arms he encircled his legs.

Toshiya hadn’t even looked at Hakuei for once. All he felt was numb from the pain, tired from existing. He didn’t care for anything or anybody. He wasn’t motivated to run away, he wasn’t even motivated to do or say a single thing. He just existed somehow… he wanted to sleep again, to forget again, nothing to be there for. Then pictures shot through his mind. Toshiya opened his eyes in shock and he cried out again. Memories! All of them circled around in his head! He shook his head, grabbing his hair again in despair.

“NO! GO AWAY! This pain…. I am in hell! It repeats again and again!!!”

“Toshiya, I’ll be there for you. You don’t have to carry the burden all by yourself.”

Toshiya shook his head. “You brought me back to life…” His voice was trembling. “Why did you do that? To torture myself even more?! I would rather be dead. Eternally dead.”

It was no use. The arriving must have been too much for him. Hakuei remained silent. No matter what he said Toshiya turned it into something negative. So instead of intelligent talking he moved over to Toshiya’s side and before the shy newborn protégé was even able to realize, he felt strong arms encircling his shaking body from behind. The young Angel hold his breath in shock and the next moment he struggled.

“NOOO!” He tried to get rid of the ballast behind him… he couldn’t stand the feeling to get touched. He felt so ugly, so strange.

“Don’t TOUCH ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!…” He cried again. “Please… just leave me…”

And he broke, defeated by the strength holding him. By the warmth holding him.

And Hakuei didn’t care. He simply went on holding him. It was only a simple gesture for him but for Toshiya it was more than he could take.

Hakuei concentrated on the hurt soul, concentrated on feelings he wanted to transmit to Toshiya.…Security, warmth, love… The struggling came to a stop shortly afterwards and his heart seemed to calm down. Hakuei could feel it was well. The anger slowly sliding away... but so did his consciousness at the same time. He had used too much energy today.... His gaze started to get blurry and his eye color changed to white and his body became cold.

Toshiya felt how the strong grip left his body and Hakuei rolled aside the bed and dropped down to the floor. Startled, the young Angel popped up from the bed and was shocked when he saw Hakuei lying unconscious on the floor.

This was the first time Toshiya really looked him into the face.... and he looked kind of peaceful.

Toshiya felt at fault. In panic, Toshiya crawled down to the ground. Hesitantly, he stretched out his hands and carefully he touched Hakuei on his shoulder. Then something quite unexpected happened. Hakuei's fragile, hurt wings appeared but Hakuei stayed unconscious.

Toshiya somehow realized that the wings looked kind of ‘unhealthy’. Feathers started to fall out and the beam became lower and lower. Only by looking at him, Toshiya saw the whole energetic structure of Hakuei’s body. His wings and thus his energy-level was low and started to fade away. He needed help! Somehow!

Call it reflex but Toshiya stretched out his arms. Hesitantly, he lay his right hand onto Hakuei’s back and automatically warmth started to form inside Toshiya’s arms. The young Angel was surprised about the increasing warmth but lay his left hand onto the root spot of Hakuei’s wings as well. Then he concentrated and as strange as it was, Toshiya felt how the increasing warmth left his body and went into Hakuei’s back, into his wings. It took a while but the gray color started to fade and the destroyed wings slowly started to rebuild.... it was a miracle.

Toshiya couldn’t believe what he saw. He healed the destroyed wings although he had never learned or heard of it before. How? Why? Toshiya observed the feathers coming back to life, growing back on their roots and shortly after he felt his work finished, dizziness came over him.

Hakuei slowly opened his eyes but before he was able to realize anything he felt something heavy slumping over his back. His wings had disappeared and instead an exhausted Angel lay all over him. Carefully, Hakuei turned around and caught Toshiya in his arms. He picked him up with ease and brought him back into his bed.

He stared at the sleeping form in his bed.

“Can it be?” He whispered at himself in awe. “… that you healed my wings?” He stretched out his hand and cared the black strands of hair out of Toshiya’s face. Hakuei gasped out loud in surprise when Toshiya had opened his eyes in reflex and hold onto Hakuei’s wrist. This dark eyes beaming at him... alarmed about anything that could possibly happen.

‘You’ve become stronger.’ Hakuei talked to him in his thoughts. Surprised about the voice in his head, Toshiya let go off the wrist and he sat up on Hakuei’s bed.

“Your voice is in my head.” Toshiya said out loud.

‘It is and you can do so too. Try it, thinking into my head.’

Toshiya looked strangely back at Hakuei and thought. ‘I don’t want to.’ And Hakuei had received that thought. So the physiological barrier was broken.

The blond smiled for the first time. ‘If you want to talk to me… all you have to do is thinking with me, talk with me the mental way. You don’t have talk with me the ordinary way. If you only want me to hear what you are thinking, tell me about the way of your feelings.’

‘Is this… normal then?’

‘Oh yes! Some Guardian Angels don’t manage to do that with their protégé for ages. You’re very talented.’ Hakuei seemed kind of happy but Toshiya didn’t reply. Somehow he felt miserable. Was he a freak now?

Hakuei looked back at him. 'Freak? Never!... Toshiya?'

“Don’t say a word. Everything here is strange... I only want to leave. Leaving this place, leaving everything behind me…”

“Why?”

“WHY? You honestly want to know?! All this nightmares then this strange thing with your wings! THIS IS SO UNUSUAL!!!”

Hakuei remembered his healed wings and unfolded them in reflex. They appeared majesty on his back and they shone brightly like they never did before. And Toshiya had to admit that they were really beautiful.

“You really healed my wings.... You are gifted Toshiya.”

The young Angel lifted his hands as if he didn’t want to hear anything. “Stop it, NOW! I don’t want to think or even talk about it! I HAVE NO IDEA!!” He shook his head, close to tears. He bit hard onto his teeth, trying to hold back the anger but he burst.

“I don’t know what this goddamn place is and I don’t care to get to know it. And just for your accord: I never believed in God and I don’t believe in salvation of my soul or whatever is left of me. All I know is grief and evil and I’m sure outside this walls there will be nothing else waiting for me. I don’t care what orders or believes you’re following and I swear that I won’t have anything to do with it! Anybody! Not even you.”

That was his sentiments made clear.

“So do you want to return to were you came from? Have you ever considered that THIS HERE, no matter what it is, is a CHANCE for you to make things better?”

“A little bit too late don’t you think?!” Toshiya was witty and Hakuei knew that discussing with him was impossible.

“It is never to late for anything Toshiya.”

“Why would I listen to you? Tell me one good reason! Maybe I have a choice to be somewhere else? With someone else… or better with no one….”

“Somewhere else you want to be? Then the only choice next to hell is back to earth!”

Toshiya looked back at Hakuei in shock. ‘Then there is a hell.’

“Of course there is! Just like good and bad exists. But you are here in heaven because you deserve to be. You can rise and develop… see it as a chance.”

A dark glare. “I obeyed all my life. Don’t you understand? I am tired of it! I have NO MOTIVATION, for anything! Just leave me alone somewhere where I can rest. And if you’re merciful, end my existence somehow. I beg you to.”

Hakuei closed his eyes before he continued again. “I will never do that because I know what you’re capable of. We’re all tired from time to time but you are strong and I won’t waste you.” It sounded dramatic but it was the truth.

Toshiya didn’t want to hear all that. He turned on his heel and walked to Hakuei’s door. But then without even touching it the key turned round and it flew over into Hakuei's hand. Toshiya turned round in shock.

“Who or what the hell are you?” He almost feared the answer.

“Ah, don’t wish me to hell. I'm just your Guardian Angel. I was it all the time.”

“All the time over?”

“So it is.”

“So that means you knew me on earth.”

“Yes, even on earth I knew you and with your sufferings.”

The newborn Angel couldn't believe it. Many of things went through his mind.

“Tell me: Where have you been in this hours of grief and pain? WHERE?”

Hakuei looked aside. “I was there, believe me. But we are not allowed to interfere in that way.”

“Then what is a Guardian Angel good for? FOR WHAT?!”

Hakuei bit his lip. There were reasons why he wasn't allowed to interfere but it would make no sense to explain it to Toshiya now. That he HAD to make these experiences to make his soul grow. He wouldn't want to hear any of this.

“I would love to answer your questions but please understand that there are things which even I can’t tell you.”

“Then what about my mother?”

Hakuei crossed his arms in front of his chest. He looked back at Toshiya and gestured with his head for him to come back into his room and sit down.

Hesitantly, Toshiya did so.

“A few essential things first?” Hakuei added.

A slight nod.

“Let’s say there is a system…”

Absentminded, Toshiya turned his arms around and he discovered the wide scars on both of his underarms. At the same moment pictures shoot through his head and he grabbed into his hair, closing his eyes. It was still too early for the ‘usual’ stuff so Hakuei stopped talking immediately. Maybe some other time but right now Toshiya still needed rest. A lot of it. But it was the hurt newborn Angel who asked because of Hakuei’s sudden silence.

“Didn’t you want to tell me something?”

“No, well yes, I…”

“You are confused.”

Hakuei was surprised. “What makes you think of that?”

“It was not hard to discover.”

“You know…” Hakuei continued. “I knew you all your life and having you here, really talking to me, getting response from you… it’s totally different from walking next to you like a shadow, many years without being noticed.” He paused. “I’m really glad but can’t deny that being a Guardian isn’t really easy either.”

Toshiya didn’t reply.

“I’ve got an idea. Would it be okay to show you into your own room?”

“My own room?” Toshiya wondered.

“Of course. Everybody needs some private space.”

Toshiya simply nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

**† Curse named human †**

 

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 04

 

_There is no world without pain_

 

 

 

Toshiya followed Hakuei out of his room and by the first step he made outside, he saw how angelic and majestic this world was. The feeling of comfort and light streamed right through him. Everything was bright and new, fresh and so lively. Within a few moments Toshiya’s doubts were forgotten that this must be heaven.

At the same time he wondered for how long he had been dead? If there were still people on earth recalling him?

The newborn young Angel looked down to his feet and felt his immortal body moving. It was strange to walk and it didn’t feel like the physics he was used to on earth. Everything felt like discovering something new. His senses were more sensitive too. Although he was able to touch things, something was amiss.

“You won’t feel hungry or thirsty.” Hakuei answered as he walked in front of Toshiya. “It is a necessity people need on earth to grow and form their bodies to survive. But here you won’t need such things any longer. As you surely have noticed, your body has got the form like you used to have it on earth. So have I.”

Hakuei suddenly stopped on the long, red carpeted corridor where they walked all along. Toshiya took this as a chance and he looked outside the window. Or more the enormous glass wall which seemed to stretch all over this huge, luxurious building from top to bottom.

“We call it Sky castle.”

“Can you read all my thoughts? What about others?”

“Only if you want them to be read. For strangers it’s harder as they aren’t linked to you like I am. Try to control it. You never know what beings may cross your way....”

Hakuei felt confusion coming from Toshiya and he stopped going deeper on that matter. But there was another thing he just had to tell him. “Ahm… I don’t know if it’s wise to tell you about that now but better now than never. As we had this conversation about eating and bodies… because any of this won’t be any longer a necessity you don’t have to go to toilet… or something compared to that.”

Now Toshiya was even more confused and the same moment Hakuei noticed that he didn’t really get it.

“Okay, I’ll say it banal: No hunger, no toilet, no gender. Maybe you heard of it on earth once. The fact that Angels don’t possess any physiological bodies and therefore no gender as it is known on earth. All beings here are sexless. Of course many Angels look feminine or male but that is just the appearance they love to give themselves because they loved being it on earth.”

Toshiya didn’t give any sign of understanding about what Hakuei just said or if it was strange to him. Honestly, until now he hadn’t even thought about that kind of thing and he surely wouldn’t have but now that it was said it was clear.

“I’m glad you’re taking it so easy.”

“Why should I wonder? It was never an issue.”

Hakuei moved forward as he wanted to pat Toshiya on his head but in reflex the young Angel moved backwards against the castle wall, looking like a startled cat.

Getting used to any contact would take a very long time.

Hakuei had moved back and pointed to the door next to Toshiya.

“This will be your private quarters.” It was only down the same corridor like Hakuei’s. “It’s empty except of the light which always shines through. You can create your own room as you want it to be. It is you private space.”

A nod.

“I’m down the corridor. If you need me just call out for me in your thoughts and I ill be there. Right now… just take your time. Rest a while okay?”

Another nod.

“If you want to enter simply think of it. And other beings can only enter if you allow them too.”

Still just nodding.

Hakuei tried not to show his confusion. First Toshiya had a total breakdown, followed by crying, then he showed anger and despair and now he seemed apathetic. What a development within half a day.

The Guardian Angel feared to leave his new protégé all alone but Toshiya really needed time to think for himself. Sticking together like glue wouldn’t solve anything either. Only the knowledge of always being linked to him eased his tension.

“I will always be there for you. You can come to me for anything okay?”

“Okay.” A quiet response.

“See you later.” Hakuei forced a carefree smile but Toshiya didn’t even notice as he had disappeared into his room.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“It was a hard coming back.”

“So that means Toshiya is really back?”

“He is.... and thank goodness Hakuei too... in one piece. I almost lost both of them but because of Hakuei’s enormous confidence they managed to come back together before it was too late.”

“And how are they?”

“Hakuei was kind of damaged. His wings took the most of it and about Toshiya… well I can’t really tell but I sensed a lot of sorrow and pain coming from him. It won’t be easy for Hakuei. Toshiya needs all his attention now.”

“I hope they will be fine. Knowing that Toshiya is so hurt….”

“I’m afraid the inner desolation is bigger than expected. No wonder after his long absence.”

“Nevertheless I have to see him. I yearned for him for so long!”

“I don’t know if it’s such a good idea…”

“Pleeeeeease Die! I have to! Who knows maybe it’s even good for him?” The younger Angel smiled lovingly. A smile Die could never resist.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

There he stood in his new, empty room. As empty as he was. Creating his own room that was what he got told but he had no idea how to do anything. Was it witchcraft? What kind of powers did he possibly possess? What could he discover in this… land? Calling it heaven, it sounded strange to him. He always had another image of heaven. A place were everybody was supposed to be happy, free of pain and duties. But after hearing all that he got told it sounded just like another system. And if they called this system 'heaven', he didn’t want to know how hell was like.

Toshiya leaned with his back against the wall and slowly glided down to the ground. He rested with his head between his arms and closed his eyes. He was still hurting. So completely fucked up. It was not forgotten and long not over. All the pain and memories were so present like they used to be before all that happened. He wondered if there would ever be an end to all of this thinking, feeling, existing. He shook his head. As long as there was existed there would be pain and he had no idea how to escape that devilish circle.

But when existing was the root of all suffering why were there beings which wanted to help?…. Hakuei…. Toshiya had no opinion or whatsoever about than creature, Guardian Angel, whatever. It seemed that he wanted to help in some way although Toshiya didn’t believe that he did all that for free. For what purpose? What motivation was behind that selfless seeming actions? In the end every living soul did things to satisfy their own existence. And Toshiya was satisfied enough and wanted no more of anything.

And the more he tried to picture his sad existence, the more it depressed him. He wanted to stop thinking but he couldn’t. He had an inkling that all this was the beginning of something very big an no matter how much he hoped to escape…. There was absolutely no way out.

Because in some way he was already dead.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

As soon as Hakuei had closed the door to his own apartment, a slight thought knocked in his head. He had no time to think about Toshiya because Die had called him for a meeting outside the castle in the holy gardens.

He unfolded his wings and flew right through his window down into the large, green garden in front of the enormous castle. It was a majestic garden, full of trees, flowers and small lakes. It was the duplicate of Gods Garden, called Eden.

Hakuei found Die sitting right next to one of the big trees.

“Hey Die.”

“Hakuei! ” Die replied and looked astonished by his sight. “And…. Look at you!”

“What do you mean?” Hakuei settled down next to Die.

“Your Aura of course. You should have seen yourself earlier that day…. man you looked like a wreck. You have been pretty much destroyed. I just wanted to see how you’re getting along.”

“Something really strange happened with Toshiya after you left.”

“What?”

“All I remember was that I hold him in my arms and then I blacked out. I woke only moments afterwards, feeling healing energy streaming through my back and my wings were all renewed.”

Die lifted his eyebrows. “Can it be? Your protégé, a wing healer? As a wing healer already now he’s famous! What a rare and precious gift!”

“But what can I do for him Die?”

“Just be there for him. Because right now he’s totally out of balance. He needs a lot of time and love.” Hakuei nodded. “And confidence. Only then he can work with his powers. After getting stronger the higher ranks are surely more than interested in him. That’ll be good for his personal development.”

“Sounds good.” The blond Angel nodded. “And Die, thanks again for your help today.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“I can imagine you’ve got a lot to do at the borders of heaven. I’m really sorry for calling you away.”

Die shook his head again.

“How is it right now? A lot to do?”

“Well you know we ALWAYS have a lot to do at the borders but a short break will be okay.”

“Even these days?”

“Especially these days. I tell you, something is coming up. I can feel it.” Die suddenly jumped up from the grass. “Got a strange feeling to be needed.”

“Yep. Me too.” Hakuei stood up as well.

“Hizumi’s so gonna kick my ass for leaving all the time…. But there is one more thing I wanted to ask you Hakuei.”

The blond listened.

“You know that ‘he’ yearns to see Toshiya…”

“I can imagine. He may come over as soon as he pleases. Maybe it’ll help Toshiya to feel better.”

“Thanks.” Die smiled but started with another topic out of the blue after receiving a mental message. “These Cherubs…” He shook his. “As if they can’t watch the borders without me.”

Hakuei waved. “See ya.”

“Yes!” And Die flew up majestically into the air. Hakuei looked after him until he had disappeared behind the horizon. It was always a spectacle to see a Cherub fly with its four wings. He as an Guardian Angel only possessed two. Well just enough to fly he always thought.

Hakuei returned to the sky castle and wanted to check back on Toshiya. He passed his own room and the nearer he came he sensed that Toshiya wasn’t in his own apartment any longer. He must have left his room and gone outside. Hakuei was on high alert. Toshiya was still new and not used to anything. God knew what could possibly happen out there!

He tried to get into contact with Toshiya but felt being blocked. Hakuei stopped in his tracks dumbfounded. Could it be that Toshiya already learned how to block psychological penetration? The Guardian Angel paused amazed and thought about what to do to find his protégé.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya had ignored the calls he’d received in his mind. He simply blocked Hakuei out because he needed time for himself, all alone. What a pain, really.

At the end of the corridor he walked down a huge, golden stairwell and he reached the huge foyer of the sky castle. He was astonished about the splendor. Marble, glass, gold and plants everywhere… it was breathtaking. Curiously, Toshiya looked around. Shy and like a lost kitten he walked around.

The warm sunlight shone through the glass walls into the never ending castle which seemed so huge to him. There was no ice and no coldness....it felt quite good.

Toshiya strolled down several corridors which were all covered with red velvet carpet. He passed doors to his left side while the glass wall on the right side reached all the way down to the ground. From outside it was possible to see all floors at once, it was just enormous.

He stopped right in front of another huge stairwell which reached from the ground high up into heaven. It was one enormous stairwell which connected all floors. He decided to climb it but stopped in his tracks when something strange came floating down the stairs. In reflex he moved aside and waited politely. The being looked like a doll or a princess. Toshiya didn’t want to stare but couldn’t help it as he had never seen something like that in real life before. Realizing that he was staring, he turned his gaze down. The magnificent creature had stopped right in front of him and Toshiya felt how he slowly started to panic. The fact that it didn’t speak at all made it only scarier.

Hesitantly, Toshiya looked up at the doll like face and found the Angel smiling back at him. The creature really tried to ease Toshiya’s tension. Moreover, it suddenly stretched out its hands. Toshiya jolted but remained on his spot when he saw a blue rose forming in the Angel’s hand…. It was magic! The strange Angel made a gesture with his hand and the rose floated over into Toshiya’s hands. It nodded friendly at Toshiya and shy as he was, stuttered an insecure ‘t-thank you’ and the other Angel smiled and continued to float his way down the stairwell.

Toshiya observed the pure and perfect shining Rose in his hands. A slight, warm feeling formed in his heart but before he was able to realize it, the rose began to sparkle and exploded into a thousand shining stars and then it was gone. He gasped in surprise. That was real magic! And the warm feeling became joy and he smiled for a single moment.

He continued his stroll and felt uncomfortable about the other Angel’s starring at him. He wondered if they realized that he was new. It felt really uncomfortable as he never used to have any attention in his human life before. He didn’t know how to handle it so he decided to watch the ground while he passed them. Chatting and laughing, birds singing filled the air... until a voice yelled out behind Toshiya... normally he couldn't care less but it was the choice of words which made him thoughtful.

“Hey large man!”

Toshiya's widened his eyes in shock. Emotions came up but the pictures were still kind of missing. He heard it somewhere before! Slowly he turned around. Then he lied eyes upon a being, beautiful and elegant, its hair angelic auburn and so was his face. He felt at once that there was nothing to be afraid of. On the contrary.

He stuttered. “… excuse me Miss?”

Then the beautiful Angels’ face changed into a sad look. Toshiya was afraid having said something wrong so he asked insecure again. “You called for me?”

“I did.” The female seeming Angel said and now Toshiya realized that the Angel was close to tears. He felt guilty for making him sad.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t intend to be rude I---“

The being shook with its head and smiled. “Allow me to refresh your memory.” And he started to quote. “It’s not just the name of a Princess... it’s the name of an Angel.”

And it popped into Toshiya’s mind and he said it out loud in awe. “Shinya.”

The fragile Angel nodded and tears formed in his eyes. He stormed forward and embraced Toshiya tightly, even kissed him onto his forehead.

Surprised by the intimate contact, Toshiya hold still at first but soon encircled Shinya carefully and hugged him back…. Somehow it felt so ‘right’. Like meeting an old friend after a long long time again. It was so nice and it warmed his cold heart unexpectedly fast.

Shinya touched Toshiya’s hand and kissed him onto his cheek before he moved back and looked into the dumbfounded Angel’s face. Shinya smiled about Toshiya’s reaction and patted him lovingly on his arm.

“Forgive me. I was just so eager to see you again. I’m so happy!” Shinya pulled Toshiya close for a second short hug and moved back again. “I’ve been waiting for you so long!” Shinya said reproachful.

“I didn’t know…” Toshiya stuttered because he still didn’t completely get it. He remembered Shinya but didn’t quite get the whole story.

Shinya took Toshiya’s hand and smiled at him lovingly. “Let’s sit together outside in the garden.”

It was the first time for him to leave the building and he squeezed his eyes shut because of the bright and warm sun. The air was fresh and the smell of flowers was all around them.

The newborn Angel breathed in although it was a human gesture but he had the urge to do so and the moment he had closed his eyes he saw how the past nightmare rebuilt in his mind. He saw Shinya as a child, himself clothed in rags… talking to the little girl with biscuits… Toshiya shook his head. The memories were slowly coming back, bit by bit. Shinya of course felt Toshiya’s tension and lay one arm onto his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Toshiya shook his head and asked with closed eyes because he partially remembered.

“You are older now… Why?”

“Because this was the age I died on earth.” Shinya moved back his hand and something bitter swung within his answer. Toshiya on the contrary didn’t dare to ask about something so private. Shinya went on explaining.

“The time both of us grew up was a dark time in Europe Toshiya. A very dark and hard time.”

Toshiya looked down onto his hands. Unwillingly he sensed a lot of sorrow and pain coming from Shinya as well. So even he had to endure pain… somehow it hurt Toshiya imagining Shinya in pain. Why was that? He felt so sorry for Shinya although he didn’t know why.

“Unfortunately pain is what connects us all. But so does love.” Shinya looked up. “Well, it also makes us stronger.” There was confidence in his voice. “And I’m the happiest Angel to have you back here.” He beamed happily at Toshiya and again it warmed his heart. Shinya to him seemed like a being so full of love, it came automatically from him.

“Shinya…. For how long have I been dead?” It was a strange question totally out of context.

“Oh, you don’t know…. Well…” Shinya thought about whether he should tell him about it or not but he did so anyway. “When people die some of them go straight into heaven or hell. But those who suffered a great deal on earth often take longer to arrive here. They often fall into deep shock, something like a nightmare that repeats again and again. You were in some kind of limbus which took longer than my lifetime on earth. But don't be alarmed. Time in heaven goes by faster than on earth, that's another reason why I am older now.”

And Toshiya understood what Shinya was referring to.

“It took them a long time to get you back into heaven and I thank God that they did.”

“They?” Toshiya wondered.

“Another Angel helped Hakuei to get you back into heaven.”

Toshiya looked astonished back at Shinya. “You know this Angel?”

“Oh yes. I guess you can say that.”

“HELLO!”

Toshiya jumped on his seat from the loud welcoming and Shinya slowly pulled his hand back from Toshiya’s arm. He turned around as he had sensed the approaching Angel anyway.

“That was rude of you Die! Just be a little bit more sensitive!”

“What?” Die asked, playing the hurt. Toshiya slowly turned round to look who stood there behind them. He was amazed. It was a huge Angel and a lot of energy emerged from him. He seemed very powerful and mighty. In addition… he had four wings! Not to mention his bright red hair and wide grin on his face. He looked like a nice but funny Angel.

Shinya stood up gracefully. He stretched out his hand and Toshiya took it to stand up as well.

“May I introduce to you the Angel you’ve felt in Hakuei’s room? This is Die.”

“Hello.” Toshiya said shyly. Insecure he looked up at the tall Angel but looked down again when he saw him staring back at him. Shinya pinched into Die’s side and he stopped, making a face. Die murmured to Shinya. “He can't remember me either....” He stretched out his hand. “Hi Toshiya, so good to have you back.”

“Wow what a warm handshake you have.” Die smiled and Shinya got that the was implying something.

^Did you notice?^ Die talked mentally with Shinya.

^Not all of it. Want to tell me later?^

^Sure.^

“I think I will escort Toshiya to his room, just in case. Knowing Hakuei he must be terribly worried.”

On their way through the castle, Toshiya started to speak. “Do you live in the same castle or somewhere else?”

“Of course I do live here. There is only this castle.” Shinya stopped in front of Toshiya's rooms. “You can always come to me and talk to me about anything okay? Don’t forget that! Simply think about me and you will find my apartment.” Shinya smiled.

“Thank you for your kindness.” Toshiya said shyly. Shinya shook his head and hugged him closely in response.

“Thank God you are back.” Shinya whispered at him and again Toshiya felt that these words meant much more than he ought to know yet.

“I’m glad that we have met again.” Toshiya said and it was the nicest thing Shinya could have ever imagined. He quickly kissed Toshiya on his cheek before he spread his wings and with a wave he disappeared through the huge window in the glass wall.

And again it had left a warm feeling in his heart.


	5. Chapter 5

Song to this chapter: 03 – ‚Love’ did you say?

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_cTq5LivhQ&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_cTq5LivhQ&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=4)

 

 

 

**† Curse named human †**

 

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 05

 

_'Love' did you say? I’ll cut down my wings before they will open_

 

 

 

Die looked at his fellow Cherub Hizumi in disbelieve. Not only that they had a lot to do at the boarders in heaven these days. Adding to their important job, rumors started to come up and this never meant any good.  
As guardians of the gates to heaven, Cherubim were always the first concerned with changes in their world or the worlds outside. Thus it was their job to pay special attention and to report it to higher authorities.

“Let's hope that it's only a dead end. We have to be careful not to cause an uproar... at least not yet. There will be enough time to bother the Archangels with it.” Die added but Hizumi didn't turn off his glare. “And don’t look at me like that!” He added with a grin. Hizumi's white eyes still gave him the creeps although they were friends since ages now.

Hizumi though gave a short laugh, knowing that fact but doing it nevertheless. Then he became serious again. “Another similar rumor and we have to report it... you know that.”

“I know.” Die said. “Until then, let's keep an eye and special ear on everything.”

“You bet we do.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Heaven was always warm, full of light and love but somewhere in this castle, a broken newborn Angel sat all alone in his room and felt cold. Although there was no coldness around him... it came from within.

No memories of kindness or warmth were left. Except of one person ... Shinya..... but what to make out of Hakuei, Toshiya didn’t know. He seemed to take care of Toshiya but to what extend?

He distrusted Hakuei. Not because he seemed like a bad Angel but because Toshiya never knew any better. No one did anything for free. What was his reward after he was done with Toshiya? What was his selfish reward to make him act the way he did? And where was this praised free will everybody spoke of and yet Toshiya was captured in another system? Couldn't he just end it now without any interference? It was his goddamn broken soul and he should have all the rights to decide what to do with it. And not some kind of God or Guardian Angel who had crossed his path somehow.

I am against this rules

A half dead, half alive reflection in the mirror. Pale skin and lifeless eyes. That's how he saw himself in the mirror, that's how he recalled to have looked like on earth.

I can not follow that model

Physics were a strange thing. A body was a strange thing and there was always more damage done by it than any good. In every world and aspect. Toshiya lifted his right arm and looked at it.

You created differences

I created differences myself. He looked at the scars. They looked so new although they existed only in his memories. Here in heaven physics didn't exist in a human way. But the pain nevertheless felt real to him.

Dear God, look what we've done with the choice you've given us

 

With one fast movement of his hand, Toshiya made a sign and on his astral body a long cut appeared right over his white chest. And he did it because he was able to do so. Wishes do become true and yet it didn't bleed, of course not. How should it? There was no mortal feeling of pain but he fantasized it. Drowned in it.

Destroyed by what you create

The 'imagined' skin hung down from his wound and the scars on his wrists started to bleed.

It devoured him. Pulsated and threatened to break free from deep within.... Until the revelation set in. He felt free for a single moment before he became all miserable again.

He was hurting.

But maybe this was the only way to endure all of this.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hakuei stopped in his tracks when he felt pain rushing through his immortal body with a loud heartbeat. Sunken into a fantasizing moment, he awoke from the pain immediately afterwards.

And he knew exactly whose pain it was.

He unfolded his wings and returned to the castle as quickly as he could. Running up the corridor to Toshiya's room, he fantasized about everything his protege could have possibly done. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to leave him all alone shortly after his arrival.

His concerns confirmed immediately after he had entered the room. Lifeless, like a doll cut from its threats, Toshiya lay unconsciously on the floor. Hakuei dropped to his knees and shook the young Angel on his shoulders.

“Toshiya! Hey!“

The whole scenery was grotesque.

Toshiya, lying in this empty, sterile, white room. Only his half long black hair making contrast to it. There was no blood because Toshiya imagined the wounds himself, everything happened in his head.

Hakuei called out for him, over and over again but to no avail. Panic set in and the immense pressure of guilt for leaving him alone became unbearable.

He felt like the worst and most incapable Guardian Angel ever. Suppressing his fear, he picked up the motionless body and hold Toshiya close to him. Only now he realized that the living energy was slowly fading away... and they had been there before. Bad memories came up.

He carried the young Angel down into the sunny garden. Honestly, he couldn't think of anything better. On the grass he hold onto him tightly, clawed into him with tension. In utter helplessness, Hakuei rested with his chin on Toshiya's head. Trying to reach him, feel him. Desperate for him, misleadingly beautiful to the strangers passing by.

Hakuei transmitted spiritual energy through his touch while he called out for him again and again. But there was no response. Desperation mixed with tears. A long forgotten human emotion, normally impossible to feel in heaven.

 

'I should have never left.... I will never leave you again.' An inwardly prayer.

 

And he was heard.

Warmth started to stream through the lifeless little doll again. In mere relief, Hakuei sighed deeply not letting go of the young Angel. He murmured again and again how happy he was to have him back, he literally annoyed Toshiya out of his coma. And an annoyed growl was the answer. Hakuei couldn't think of anything better. He hugged him tight.

“... Hakuei?” Toshiya whispered still dazed.

“I'm here.”

It was then that the young Angel slowly started to realize in what position he was in. Never been used to any body contact before, Toshiya felt awkward and uneasy. He tensed and slowly moved out of Hakuei's embrace.

“Let's go home.” Hakuei said.

“There is no home for me.”

“Then what do you intend to do?”

“Honestly? I wish to end existing.”

That was pretty hard. Even for Hakuei. But he swore to himself to protect Toshiya, come what may. And he could be stubborn too.

“I won't give up on you.”

“You better do.”

“And what about Shinya? Or all the other future friends and funny experiences you will make?”

Toshiya closed his eyes and held onto his head as if it was a burden on his slim shoulders. “Look, I don't care.”

“But-”

In anger, Toshiya interrupted Hakuei. Really, which part of no didn't he understand?

“All right I get it. You are here to play the Samaritan because of some energy you call God. Honestly, I don't know what's in there for you but you can leave me out of it. Starting from now on. Just let me go. I'm not interested in any new experiences or life or whatsoever. Everything I started only brought me pain and suffering.”

Toshiya stood up from the ground and looked down on Hakuei. “In the end we are all alone and you know it and that's why you are clinging onto me.”

Hakuei's face remained calm. He stood up as well and approached Toshiya. “So this is your opinion of heaven and me? I wish it would be so easy.” A pause to sort his mind.

“There are a lot of things to discover but you're just plain ignorant and full of prejudice. Although you don't care about anything, just think ONE moment about the Angels who where involved into your saving so far.”

Usually Hakuei didn't play with such dirty tricks but it was the truth and it had to be told. Toshiya didn't run, cry or say anything. Automatically, Hakuei's gaze wandered down and he discovered the long scars on Toshiya's forearm. They were there because Toshiya wanted them to be. Self inflicted on his immortal body through willpower. Whether he was aware of the fact or not, Hakuei couldn't tell.

“What do you hate so much? Life? God? Because you do send messages to him.” He pointed at Toshiya's arms.

“I don't send messages.”

“You do. Hurting your body hurts God. He knows and feels it too.” Hakuei paused, surprised about the outburst himself but he couldn't hold it back no longer. Being responsible for someone didn't mean to nice-talk everything. “But,” Hakuei added, “if you start to show love you will receive it. I can guarantee you. It's the law of nature.”

Toshiya glared back at him with an unreadable face. And with that face, Hakuei could never read what was going on inside of him. Adding to that, since today the young Angel even learned how to block him from his mind. But Hakuei wasn't upset about his protege, rather positively surprised about the mental strength.

“Whatever.” Toshiya pouted and involuntarily looked back at Hakuei's wings when he unfolded them. His gaze rested on them, automatically. Drew him in...

“Something about my wings?” Hakuei asked and Toshiya slightly jolted for being discovered for staring too long.

“Don't get me wrong. I just never saw them so close before.”

“What do you mean? Of course you did! You healed my wings the moment I'd brought you back to heaven.”

“What?! I don't even know how to do such a thing!”

“You must have touched them or something because when I woke up again, I was healed.”

Utter confusion about the unknown fact. Toshiya slightly recalled that day.... Hakuei on the ground, him touching Hakuei's back.... but healing wings that way?

“Are you sure?”

“Without you I would be gone by now.”

Hakuei passed Toshiya and the young Angel's gaze lay on the beautiful shining wings. The illuminating colors extending from it... only he was able to see it. And although he hated to admit it, it was kind of cool seeing colors of other Angel's wings and getting their emotions at the same time.

“Thank you, for saving me back then.” It was Hakuei who spoke up and he looked back with his piercing glare, over his shoulders at Toshiya, motioning him to follow him back home.

And for goodness' sake he did.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

He was alone at night. Tossing in his sleep. After surviving day after day, Toshiya dreamt strange things at night. Voices talking to him, seeing colors and lights but nothing really made sense. It only disturbed his mind and in the morning he thought too much about the words he heard.

'Develop your spirit... enter a new life, make experiences...'

 

'Experience cannot be taken away from you, it makes you wise and stronger...'

 

'But why? What's in there for me?'

 

'Love.'

Toshiya had no idea who sent him this dreams but everything automatically made sense which was strange. After another sleepless night, he dared to ask Hakuei about some things.

“Hakuei, there are some things I wanted to ask....”

“Sure.”

“Something about how everything works and so on....”

“Hn.”

“You said there is a hell...”

A nod.

“How is it?”

“Well, I've never been there. Only heard things. Angels never go there.... well except of one fallen Angel.”

“Who is he?”

“Lucifer. You might have heard of him from the Bible but most of it is bullshit really.”

“You know him personally?”

“No but he used to be one of us. A Guardian Angel before he became mightier and higher in rank... and then he fell. No matter what, don't be afraid because no Demon can enter heaven without permission and it's the other way round for Angels with hell.” Toshiya listened silently as it became quite interesting.

“There are different Angel classes but you will hear of them in school soon. The other day you met Die, he's a Cherubim, easily recognized at their four wings. One class above the Cherubim are the Seraphim, they have six wings and are under Angel Metatron's command. At the same level as the Cherubim are the Archangels of the four elements. You will meet them at the next heaven meeting.”

A nod, followed by another question. “But what about hell?”

Hakuei wondered about Toshiya's thirst of knowledge but happily obliged. “It's classical. That's where the bad souls go to. But they can atone for what they have done and work themselves up the classes through reincarnation on earth. And to keep peace with hell, there are often meetings between the bosses from heaven and hell, making out contracts and so on.”

“Hakuei, have you been to earth as well?”

“Sure but a long time ago. Until I decided to become a Guardian.”

Hakuei felt that it was still too early to talk about that chapter of his life. He changed topic. “Soon there will be the next heaven meeting....”

“For what?”

“It's a seasonal meeting to discuss new arrangements, meeting new Angels and so on....”

But Toshiya wasn't entirely convinced if he really wanted that.

“There you will see the higher ranked Angels. Keep your eyes open on that day. Many interesting beings will cross your way.”


	6. Chapter 6

## † Curse named human †

 

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 06

 

_Feeling your sadness makes me drown in pain_

 

 

 

 

Hakuei tried to talk to Toshiya a lot, trying to open him for the world he now lived in, the good things and possible adventures that could follow. He tried everything to bring happiness back into his life... but with very little success. More voluntarily than willingly, Toshiya listened to him but feedback was almost non existing. And although it was frustrating, Hakuei did his best. When Toshiya closed up completely, he would ask Shinya for help and he always happily obliged. Cheering the depressed Angel up with his mere presence.... it was Shinya's nature.

 

So the day before official heaven meeting with the Archangels, Hakuei sent Toshiya out to go to Shinya's. He suggested to ask Shinya if he wanted to join them for the meeting tomorrow… Not that Shinya and Die would attend anyway but Hakuei's motives were mere ulterior. These days Hakuei felt like pushing the young Angel even further out of reach. Every step he took seemed to frighten him.

 

What Hakuei didn't tell Toshiya was, that there would be a time in near future when the two of them will be separated again. All young Angels will be send down to earth to accomplish certain tasks, like taking care of their own, new protege.... but seeing Toshiya shying back from any development, scared him. Honestly, Hakuei was afraid that within the first minutes on earth, Toshiya would be swallowed alive. He was not ready yet. Not ready for any kind of responsibility.

Shinya welcomed Toshiya as lovely as he always did. It seemed like the door opened and the sun was directly shining at him. The world seemed like a better place instantly and imagining the two of them together, they must have looked like an abstract painting where the grey colors merged with the yellow-orange ones.

A little smile crept over Toshiya's lips when Shinya guided him inside to take a seat.

  
The living space Die and Shinya shared seemed like a dream. Cozy, warm and full of flowers. It was such a kind of place where nothing seemed forced but flowed naturally.

“It is so nice of you to visit me. You must come more often!”

“I will try.” Toshiya nodded and looked around, when he saw the oversized bed with two pillows in it. He knew Die but missed the part of the two of them actually being together.

“You are rooming with someone else?” Toshiya wondered.

Shinya looked dumbfounded. “Of course, with Die.”

“So.... you and him, like-”

“He's my soulmate. I can’t even imagine a day without him.”

There was more meaning behind his words than Toshiya could possibly imagine. But what he did feel was the strength coming from within Shinya. He loved him very much, that Toshiya could tell.

“Very often I'm alone because Die works so much and I'm working too....”

“What is your work?” Toshiya had an sincere interest in it.

“It's not so easy to describe..... I'm leaving when I'm called. But I love my job. It's a very precious one.”

“So you are not an Guardian Angel like Hakuei?”

“Me? Oh no! That's not my profession. Guardian Angel's have to be tough, I'm too sensible for this kind of work.” Shinya silenced, thinking about something. “You know what? I will take you with me to work today.”

“WHAT? Is it even allowed?”

“Only for you.” Shinya stood up and concentrated on something invisible. “Okay, there we go. We have to hurry. I will take you with me through the air as it is a place you can only go to by flying.”

Carefully he hold Toshiya around his stomach and then he unfolded his wings. Through the window they left the castle. Soon it became smaller and smaller until they could see it no more. The speed must have been magnificent as they seemed to enter a completely different sphere.

Shinya became slower and they landed in a place similar to the garden they had in front of the castle but something was different there. The whole place seemed holy, spiritual... Toshiya was even afraid to say a word out loud.

Gracefully, Shinya walked through the garden and he gestured Toshiya to follow. It was too silent at this place. No birds, no voices and no other living being around.

Shinya stopped in front of a huge oak tree. Its roots and branches were so huge that they reached up into spheres, Toshiya couldn't even possibly think of. But more strange was the fact that the tree seemed 'alive' like a living being.

Silently, the young Angel observed what was going on. Shinya gestured Toshiya to wait on his very spot while he flew up the tall tree. Far up in the sky he remained standing in the air without even moving his wings which should have been quite impossible. But the air around them has changed, Shinya seemed to have changed.

Energy filled the place and it was so mighty that it seemed to fill Toshiya up from within. An inner peace crept through his whole angelic body, a peace he had never felt before. This energy came from the highest source and it felt like 'being born' there.

Slowly, he opened his eyes when he realized Shinya standing in front of him again. In his arms he hold a little bundle, not yet fully alive. It was a fragile baby, tiny, breakable and so pure. It was totally newborn.

Shinya communicated with Toshiya the mental way.

^This is a newborn soul. Before it gets born to earth, I will tell him about God and the secrets of heaven, the Angels and life. It will give them hope because the very first words to a newborn should be full of hope and love.^

Shinya closed his eyes and he lowered his head to the baby's ear. Incomprehensible words, whispered so fast that Toshiya couldn't even understand them. He observed the unmoving child and realized something funny: The curve which normally formed in the middle of the upper lip of every human was missing. Shinya continued his whispering and suddenly came to a stop. Thoughtfully, Shinya moved his index finger over the child's mouth and over the upper lip of the baby.

^And now you must forget everything I've told you.^ Shinya transmitted to the baby and Toshiya heard this words as well. And after Shinya removed his finger, a curve was formed in the middle of the upper lip. Now it all made sense. Every human being was taught the secrets of heaven, the knowledge of God but forgot them again to make own experience on earth.

Shinya lifted up the baby and it started to float on its own. Still asleep, it slowly started to dissolve and then the baby was gone.

“Now it gets reborn into the human world.” Shinya said out loud again. “I'm done for today.”

“Okay.... but only one child?”

“There are others like me but only this soul was create to be taught by me today.”

  
Together they left the place again and back at home the young Angel couldn't help himself but to wonder what this was all about. He became interested and asked.

“Does this job have a name or how are Angels like you called?”

“I'm an Angel of Life.”

Toshiya looked amazed. “Wow, that sounds very important. But it suits you so well.”

“Thank you, you're so sweet.”

It was great to see Toshiya warming up. Shinya was certain that they will all be very proud of him in the near future. Although he mighty not talk a lot but what he said and asked was interesting and mature.

Toshiya certainly left with a better mood than he had arrived earlier that day. Shinya assured him that they would be going to the meeting together and Toshiya seemed happy about it. He gave him a firm hug before they said their good bye's.

Walking back into his room, Shinya jolted when he made out a presence in his room.

“Die!”

It was unusual for the Cherub to be back at this time of the day. What was even more unusual was his action. Instead of saying something he stepped closer and took Shinya into his arms. He hold him close, rested with his head on Shinya's shoulder. Motionless yet flustered, the younger Angel encircled Die's broad back and hugged him tight.

“Die, what's wrong?”

“I just wanted to see you.”

Shinya couldn't help it and smiled. “You’ve always been a bad liar.”

Die didn't comment on that. He remained quiet before he started speaking again. “There are rumors…”

Shinya moved back immediately to get a better view of him. “Rumors? Why haven't you told me earlier?”

“Because we hoped that they would stop.”

“Are you allowed to tell me?”

Die shook his head. “Better not. Just to keep you safe.” He breathed in the sweet scent of Shinya's hair before he moved back again. The look on Shinya's face said it all.

“Okay, one last kiss before I go…”

His words didn't give him away but the the bitter taste of his lips did. Die was full of sorrow and the need in his deep kiss was tangible. The urge in his grip and the way he let go of Shinya again... it was frightening.

“See you later then.” Shinya said and Die smiled back at him before he closed the door.

Concerned was an understatement. Die never did that before, stopping by for comfort and leaving again. Shinya had never seen him that absentminded and concerned before. Knowing, that Die was afraid of something concerned Shinya only more. Die was a Cherubim, a strong Angel who knew about war, damage and loss.... What was it that Die couldn't possibly tell him?

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Before the door opened, he awoke from the feeling of _him_ returning to his room. Hakuei opened his eyes and moved into a sitting position on his couch. He looked to the front door with his sleepy eyes. Entering, Toshiya looked straight back at him but turned his gaze down shyly after realizing that he was expected.

“You're back.“ A sleep-drunken voice greeted him. Still drowsy, he swung himself up from the couch and steadied himself the next moment at the wall... was that a slight smile on the younger Angel's face?

“I thought about something,” Hakuei started again, “I want to show you something.”

The tone of his voice and every move he made seemed so self confident and strong. Toshiya realized it for the first time. He himself has never been like this and he admired souls who were capable of it. Hakuei surely wasn't as weak as he was.

A nod as an answer.

“It's far away but I'm sure you'll enjoy it.”

He unfolded his wings and there Toshiya saw it again.... the energy structure of his wings, the colors and moods swinging within. Hakuei wasn't aware of the fact that Toshiya could _read_ so much in Angel's wings but he knew about the healing part of course.

Toshiya felt drawn to them.... he was a wing healer so he had a thing for wings. Any kind of wings. And these shone very bright. In reflex, he stretched out his hand and carefully touched the bow of one wing. Hakuei stopped in his motions and shuddered. The touch was full of uncertainty but tender, it was enough to be recognized. Understandable because the fragile nerve system was the root of any kind of feeling an Angel possessed.

He wanted to move away from the touch, resisting it but he couldn't. Glued to the spot he didn't move and the sensation ran through his angelic body. Whether his young protege was a tease or simply plain innocent, Hakuei didn't know but guessed for the last. Not only were wings high sensitive, Toshiya as a healer doubled the sensation.

“Your wings are beautiful-”

Startled, Toshiya looked up when his hand was pressed together in between Hakuei's large hand. Eyes, almost as black as the night glowered down on him. There was something unreadable on Hakuei's face and Toshiya felt guilty immediately for what he had done. But why the older Angel was slightly panting, he couldn't tell.

"You shouldn't do that Toshiya.”

A fearful nod and hurt in his eyes. Hakuei realized how threatening he must have seemed and let go of Toshiya's hand immediately, a cheap excuse leaving his lips.

“Wings are sensitive. You better you only touch them when healing. Like you did the other time when my wings were damaged....”

Asking, Toshiya looked at his Guardian Angel, not getting what he meant. Fact was that he couldn't recall the day when he healed Hakuei's wings. His mind was far too damaged to remember that fact.

“You better don't tell anyone about your healing-gift. It's very rare and special.”

It felt good. A praise and the knowledge of possessing something of value.

“Will I have wings too one day?”

“Of course. It'll just take some time. Wings have to be 'earned' you see... but you will find out soon enough.”

Hakuei offered his hand, ready to go, showing Toshiya the place he had in mind... but the young Angel didn't take his hand. His brow furrowed and he asked.

“Why is it that everything in life has to be earned and hard to do?”

That was a quick change of moods.

“Why is there no freedom of heart, why?”

“We have to move on. It's the only way to overcome things.”

“You mean moving in circles and never being able to break out of it? Slaves for eternity?”

Hakuei shook his head. He stepped closer to Toshiya but the young Angel moved back, holding his arms protectively in front of his chest.

“Why is it that you see everything so dark?”

“You're honestly asking me this? I never knew any better-!” His words were cut off when Hakuei packed him on his arms tightly.

“Then DO something about it! Not for me or the system but for yourself!”

Toshiya looked back at Hakuei with his lips pressed together firmly. “It hurts.” Was all he muttered and Hakuei finally let go off his arms. Toshiya turned around immediately and left Hakuei's apartment.

The Guardian Angel touched his forehead in desperation. Everytime he thought to come one step closer to Toshiya, he takes two steps back. Every little, wrong word fatal and with big consequences. And there seemed no way how to approach him correctly. Not with tender or firm words...

Toshiya was born and died in total pain. This was all he ever knew. He needed more time. Time healed all wounds... although it leaves the souls stained for eternity. Hakuei knew that. Better than anybody. But this task would _cost_ him his life, he knew it.


	7. Chapter 7

Song to this chapter: 04 – The Sky Castle

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPD9_p7Xwok&index=3&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPD9_p7Xwok&index=3&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

 

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 07

 

_Welcome to the meeting of creatures_

  


 

It was in the middle of the night when Shinya looked over to his bed. It was not his lover sleeping in there as he was still at work. Earlier that evening a fragile bundle returned to Shinya's place, as sad and angry as he could be. It took Shinya quite some time and good words to calm him down again... and now and then he touched Toshiya's cheek, patted his head and took him in his arms. And Toshiya needed it, Shinya felt him hunger for warmth, love and protection. He absorbed it like a sponge, subtly but he did.

Now and then, Toshiya tossed uneasily in his sleep. A touch on his head or shoulder would calm him down immediately. Shinya watched over his sleep, granting him the peace and rest he needed.

  
The quarrel he had with Hakuei again caused Shinya concern. He knew Hakuei and he guessed how complicated Toshiya could be. They were both two headstrong Angels and both with individual problems. They had yet to find a middle course where they both could meet.

Shinya, being a sensitive Angel, felt Toshiya's inner battle. He was torn between logic and hurt feelings. He was still so very deeply hurt that it was still impossible for Hakuei to get through to him. And every time the young Angel freaked out or hurt, it was backfired straight to Hakuei. In the end, Hakuei carried the double amount of pain and they ended up both hurt. It was complicated. And it was hard for Shinya not to interfere. He loved Toshiya, more than anybody could imagine and yet he was forbidden to any more advise. It was Guardian Angel business and Shinya was just a friend.

A whisper through the moonlit room. “I'll always love you Toshiya. I want you to know that.”

He cared the black strands of hair out of his face and covered Toshiya's shoulder with his comforter. Then he stood up, ready to get comfortable on the couch but murmurs made him stop. Shinya wondered if Toshiya spoke in his sleep. He knelt down in front of his bed and Toshiya really murmured words. Incomprehensible.

  
“… loosing…”

  
Shinya narrowed his eyes. Did he mean Hakuei? Maybe.

 

“… gone… he’s he is…”

  
What did he mean by that?

 

“… won’t feel… him anymore…”

  
What was Toshiya dreaming about? His choice of words pointed to no positive contents. If it was Hakuei he couldn't tell. All he knew was that it was impossible to divide a protégé from his Guardian but what did he possibly mean? No matter what, they had to wait and see.

But first, the long awaited heaven meeting would follow. And things always used to change after that.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was one hell of a morning after one hell of a night. Hakuei couldn’t get any rest and today of all days was the important meeting of Angels, especially the new arrivals. Hakuei felt sleepy and weak when he climbed up the stairs to Shinya's apartment.

He didn't need to ask where Toshiya was, he knew. Or probably guessed right. The door opened almost automatically, like he has been awaited.  
  
“He's still asleep.” Shinya whispered.

“Thank you Shinya, for your precious help.”

“Hakuei, he was a mess last night.”

“I know and it's eating me alive. I'm very sorry. All I can say is that I'm doing my best.”

Hakuei looked over Shinya's shoulder into the room. “I need him to be with me. The meeting will start soon.”

“I know.” Shinya stepped aside and let Hakuei in. The Guardian Angel passed the couch where Die had the pleasure with and went into the bedroom where a little, curled up bundle lay soundly asleep in the comfortable bed. It was so fragile to see that it almost hurt him. Toshiya usually tossed in his sleeps, screaming and crying from nightmares but here he seemed to be peaceful. And Hakuei recalled what Die once told him '...S _hinya touches Toshiya in a way you never could...'._

  
Hakuei lifted the fragile Angel up easily and held him close to his chest. His newborn Angel and child. So very warm in his arms and yet so far out of reach.... He breathed in Toshiya's well known scent and in that moment he swore to be brave and strong for both of them.

His breath caught slightly when he felt the Angel snuggling closer in his sleep. A smile formed on Shinya's lips when Hakuei passed him.

“I'm sorry for all the trouble Shinya.”

“You two will never be trouble.”

“Thank you. For everything.”

Shinya nodded.

“See you at the meeting later.” And he strolled down the corridor to his own home.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

  
With an unknown feeling of inner peace, Toshiya awoke by the tease of sunlight on his face. Dazzled, he kept his eyes shut and smelled the familiar scent around him... _Hakuei_.... Slowly he opened his eyes and found Hakuei's sleeping face on the same level as his. He looked exhausted and must have lay down next to Toshiya after he fetched him earlier this morning.

  
And Toshiya felt sorry. Guilty for seeing him lying there obviously tired and exhausted. Hakuei was always there for him, he knew that. But maybe he couldn't stand to be cared for when he didn't care for himself... thinking about their last quarrel, Toshiya couldn't even fully recall what was it all about. He felt being at fault.

Toshiya remained lying in front of Hakuei and didn't move. Automatically, his eyes started to wander down the bare, muscular arms and he realized that they were all covered with colorful tattoos. Toshiya had never seen anything like this before. In fact, it was the first time for Hakuei to show them open as well.

Hakuei's black hair and silver strands hung playfully over one side of his face and touched the soft mattress. They made a beautiful contrast to his colorful skin, marking him as one of a kind. Hakuei, now for the first time, seemed somehow special... or different.

Hesitantly, Toshiya touched one silver lock and felt its softness. When he looked up at Hakuei's face he realized a pair of dark eyes looking back at him, motionless observing him. Startled, he let go off the hair and moved slightly back from the now realized intimate contact. Hakuei remained lying though and simply kept on observing his protege.

“Good morning.” The well known husky voice said and Toshiya felt all stupid when he replied in a low tone. If he was all right, Toshiya honestly couldn't tell. He felt rested which confused him but what about Hakuei?

“I'm sorry, for maybe not being what you need.” Hakuei started

And something inside of Toshiya broke and he shook his head vehemently. “Please don't. I don't know what I need myself.”

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Shinya and Die waited together in front of the huge hall were the meeting would take place. Toshiya who arrived earlier was busy observing the hundreds of Angels which arrived. Every being seemed so unique and beautiful, the way how some of them moved, some seemed human and some didn't. It was a feast for the eyes.

The crowd silenced when the two enormous portals opened. The Angels started to enter the hall, some by foot, some flying. Happy chatter and excitement was all around them.

Hakuei walked behind Toshiya while the young Angel followed Shinya. From behind he whispered. “Don't be afraid. Everything's gonna be okay.”

The hall was magnificent.

And huge was an understatement. All in dark blue and silver colors, the ceiling seemed to have no end and the benches out of dark blue velvet arranged in scales formed like a giant half moon around the center of the hall.

A smile crept over Hakuei's lips when he saw Toshiya all excited. He almost looked like a child.

They took their seats and the feeling of joy changed to a feeling of panic when Toshiya realized that more and more Angels were gathering in the hall. He had never been with so much living beings together in one place.

Next to his seat a warm hand grasped for Toshiya's and hold it tight. Hakuei's gaze rested on the new arriving Angels. Low murmurs filled the halls, anticipation before the great show. But there was something else in the air, the older Angels could tell.

From outside, long steady steps halled down the priceless dark marble hall and all the Angels silenced from the noise alone. Steps, obviously driven by duty, power and energy. The echo became louder until the Angel became visible in the great hall and he took a step up onto the podium, his calf-long hair swinging with every move he made. His face was stern and with a loud noise he dropped the heavy book onto its console. It was silence at once.

A second Angel with crazy pink hair entered.

Hakuei slowly let go of Toshiya's hand and he moved forward in his seat to observe the scenery quite interested. And so seemed Die and Shinya. Something was definitely going on....

Toshiya looked back at the two mighty Angels who were caught up in a private conversation. The Angel with the very long hair didn't seem to like it though. He tried to end the conversation and that was when the murmurs from the audience started again. With one stern glare at the audience, they all silenced at once. He then turned his attention back to the pink haired Angel who stormed out of the hall immediately, closing the doors without being touched.

Toshiya was awestrucked by such authority, the others not amused. A voice started.

“Welcome you, the visible and invisible…” He had a strong but nice voice. “For those who arrived in heaven just recently, I want to introduce myself: I am Kami, the Archangel of Water. And you've seen hide, Archangel of Fire. I want to excuse ourselves for the uncommon start. If you have any questions, please ask them at the end of this meeting. As the rest of the Archangels will follow later, let's begin.”

Kami looked down onto his book, the pages started flipping wildly on its own and stopped moments afterwards. He wanted to say something out loud when the doors opened a second time. With a slightly frustrated face he looked back at his late arriving colleagues.

Hide entered the room at first, followed by a small creature with spiked, blond hair whom was followed by a mysterious floating creature with a ridiculous wide ball gown.

“The Archangel of Fire, hide.” Kami's voice echoed through the hall. “And the Archangel of Wind, Kyo.” It amused Toshiya. He had to think about wind when he saw the Angel entering the hall. “The Archangel of Earth, Mana. Now we are complete.”

The Archangels took their seats behind Kami, facing the audience.

“Attention please!” Kami shouted. “I'd like to start with some new arrangements in heaven. Afterwards we will listen to your questions.”

The anticipation was palpable.

“The last meeting of the 'Highest Sphered Angels' ended today and many things have been discussed and decided. The issue about the project of ‘Room sharing’ has finally come to an end. From now on, Angels linked with each other must share their private rooms due to space and practical reasons.”

Kami wanted to go on but the news seemed so surprising that the talking between Angels made it impossible for him to be heard.

“Which means….” Still no one listened. “WHICH MEANS!” The talking died down. “From now on in each apartment, two souls will live and work together. And I'm talking about the connected ones of course. No exceptions will be made. No one will move together with another just out of fun or sympathy. We are optimistic about the personal progress of each soul.”

  
No one dared to comment on it loudly.

“Second issue: The journey of the youngest Angels down to earth for their testing period. The mighty council decided that out of security reasons, young Angels will be guarded down to earth and later up into heaven again by the 'Angels of Revenge'.”

An uproar went through the audience. That was a first. Toshiya looked over to Hakuei who tried to hide his astonishment while Die looked as composed as he should be.

“So the rumors are true!!!” An unknown Angel from the back row shouted out loud.

Kami looked up with his piercing eyes, beaming at the Angel from the back row. He looked really frightening with his glare. His whole appearance and personality showed that he was never an Angel to make fun with.

“Rumors always exist! Often they are false, made up by frightened souls. This fear makes us weak.” A moment of silence. “I will only discuss rumors if you can prove that there is something true behind it!”

  
No one dared to say a word although there were surely enough unanswered questions. The Cherubim who heard of the rumors first at the boarders remained silent on their seats among the Angels. They would never talk in the open, only when asked.

Kami closed his book and stepped down from the platform.

“I want to make space for all the precious young beings who arrived only recently here in heaven. In the name of God, the higher sphered Angels and the whole Angel population, I bid you welcome. A heartwarmingly applause to all the new arrivals in heaven! Welcome home, proteges!”

The warmth left his angelic body and his soul felt like slipping away. Toshiya felt like dying on his very seat, the applause echoing only hollow in his head. Hakuei, who got the change of moods immediately. Took Toshiya's hand again, leaning into him and whispered.

“No one's gonna harm you and you are not alone. There are other new Angels as well. Just tell them your name, that's all. I will be right with you okay?”

Toshiya shook his head in panic. It was impossible, simply unbearable. All these eyes lying on him.

Kami looked over the rows of Angels and waved with both hands to come down to him. “All the new arrivals, please come down.”

Insecure, here and there Angel's stood up from their seats. Some jumping down the stairs happily, some walked down very shy and Toshiya was one of them. A little group of about 20 Angels gathered on the platform where Kami was standing on. Toshiya arrived as one of the last and stood at the very back of the group which was no use because he was one of the tallest anyway.  
Kami meanwhile went through his book and Toshiya just got that feeling.....

“Let's see... Toshimasa! A pleasure to have you here with us! Please come to the front and introduce yourself.”

Toshiya cursed in his head. Like a puppet on strings he moved forward in a daze. He was dead-nervous and tried to switch off his head, this panic, his thinking. He couldn't see Hakuei's encouraging gaze nor Shinya's almost dying puppy eyes, nothing. What he felt all of a sudden was the majestic Aura which extended from Kami and warmed him. He looked into those lilac eyes which were so comforting looking back at him... with a stammering voice he started.

“My name is Toshimasa but my friends call me Toshiya. My age is… or was on earth….” He stopped. Right now he couldn't remember. That was just too embarrassing. “Ahm… I was no too old…” He stopped when memories came up, it still hurt him.

Toshiya got distracted when he heard Hakuei speaking to him in his head. ^You were born in Europe…^

“A-and I was born in Europe… Something about the 17th century.” He gave a nod with his last sentence.

The crowd started to murmur. Toshiya was surprised about the reaction. It seemed as if they were surprised about something. It was then when a loud voice out of nowhere echoed through the wide hall.

  
“UNDRESS!”

  
And the murmurs changed to loud laughter, some were even whistling.

Toshiya, totally embarrassed and shocked, looked down to his feet while Kami's gaze shot up, over to the place where the statement had just come from, his eyes beamed murderously.

“Shut your mouth up there!!!” Kami shouted.

“I…” Toshiya stammered. Kami turned towards him but it was too late. “… I’m sorry…” And Toshiya ran off the platform and out of the hall.

Some where making sounds of astonishment. Hakuei in the same moment jumped off his seat and ran out of the hall behind Toshiya. Kami who had observed the whole ongoing, changed his attention back to the headless dumb bastard who had just acted so stupidly.

“You up there!” He pointed with his finger up to the Angel who had just shouted rude down at Toshiya. “Come down.”

The Angel, surprised by the order, sat up in his seat properly and asked stupidly. “Me?!”

“None other! Come down to me!”

The Angel wanted to say something but he got cut off by Kami again. “And don’t you dare to say another word without being asked!” He was totally pissed off which was close to a death warrant in Kami's case.

The other Archangels observed the whole situation interested, some of them with amusement in their eyes. They knew Kami and they knew Kami at his best. He was the Angel of water, but waters can be deep, very deep. At some point, hide said something to Kyo and interested they observed what happened next.

The rude Angel had far too much ego. It was the way he looked back at Kami, the way he moved and God knows Kami 'loved' such kind of Angels. Especially to trim them.

It took the arrogant Angel quite some time until he arrived at the platform. At this point Kami was close to burst.

“A VERY cool one we’ve got here…” The audience laughed because of Kami's remark.

The rude Angel was about his height which was unusual for an Angel. His hair was something between blond and brown, cut half long/half short around his head and his eyes were piercing with a cold glare.

“Thank heavens you arrived here before sundown. Since you honor us with your presence, please introduce your dumb self to the audience NAKED!!!”

Kami spelled it beautifully and the audience was laughing, whistling and clapping their hands. Kami was well known for his short temper but him going offensive in public was rare but liked. Some of the Angels leaned back and enjoyed the show. Meanwhile the strange Angel looked with disbelieve back at Kami.

“You can’t be serious…” The Angel said.

“I am as serious as you were up there and believe me: You can bet your ass for it that you will introduce yourself here naked on this very day!”

The audience was shouting and howling even louder, whistles filled the air again. Kami gestured them to be quiet but the Angel population had trouble to do so. The strange Angel looked at him with a cold stare.

“You may start.” Kami offered.

With as non caring as possible, the Angel unzipped his pants, making them drop down to the ground. Kami looked wondering at him. So the Angel removed his shirt as well. Kami couldn’t stop the whistles and howling filling the air and intentionally he didn’t.

Standing now in his underwear, the Angel looked helplessly back at Kami who simply asked him:

“Do you call this nude?”

The Angel was close to burst but hold his temper. He was no Angel to be laughed at and right now whole heaven's population saw him half naked standing there. With narrowed eyes he grabbed for the last piece of cloth on his body when Kami's voice finally interrupted him.

“Stop. That will be enough. We won't shock the audience any further.... But you are not done yet.”

The other Angel made a move to toss his head back in annoyance but stopped out of fear of the possible reaction from Kami.

“You tell us your name. But please shout it out loud so that everybody can hear it.”

The strange Angel so wanted to strangle Kami that it hurt. He narrowed his eyes again. “…” And stammered something.

“What did you say? I'm not sure if the Angels in the last rank could hear you.”

"My name is…”

Kami closed his eyes in disbelieve and pretended to hold his ear closer to the Angel. “What? I can’t hear you….”

“MY BLOODY NAME IS KARYU!!!”

The audience was howling and applauding even louder than before, some looked as if they laughed tears. With one fast movement Karyu grabbed his pants and shirt and dashed out of the hall. Kami let him go. He embarrassed himself enough. This was what he called an effective revenge.

The Archangel only hoped that Toshiya was all right.

They continued the introduction of the new arrivals until everybody was done and the meeting was finally over.

 


	8. Chapter 8

## † Curse named human †

 

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 08

 

_Your silence speaks more to me than you_

 

 

 

“I can’t believe it! Jesus! You should have heard and seen yourself minutes ago! It was brilliant!!” Hide jumped around Kami, his praising not ending. He loved Kami for his temper.

“Speaking of Jesus, I hope he hasn’t seen or heard any of this.” Kami answered very dry.

“I don't think that he would be angry. That was a lesson well taught.” Kyo added. He followed hide and behind the three of them Mana floated silently his way.

“So what do you think about that Angel Karyu?” Hide asked Kyo. Kyo was the Archangel of wind and he got the personalities of Angels very fast.

“He's hard to judge. I'm quite interested what position he’s working in. He's quite tall and his energy almost bursts.”

“Yes, I…” Hide got cut off by Kami who said. “Good idea, thank you Mana. Why haven’t I thought about that earlier.” The other two turned around to Mana who just nodded friendly back at Kami.

Kami stopped in his tracks and hold up his book from the meeting before. He removed his hands and the book remained floating in front of him. When he closed his eyes, the pages started flipping wildly. The other three Angels gathered around him and the pages finally stopped. They read the information which stood next to the name they had been looking for.

“I knew it!” Hide yelled.

“Then why didn’t you tell us so?” Kyo rolled his eyes while Kami looked very concentrated at the words before he closed the book again.

“I can imagine what you're thinking…” Kyo said. “Don’t give it too much credit, doesn't mean anything.”

“Mana you are right.” Kami said without looking at him again. The others turned round to Mana who remained silent as always.

“At least you could tell us too!” Hide demanded but Mana remained motionless.

“As an ' _Angel of Revenge_ ' he is born to break rules!” Hide stated. Meanwhile they arrived at their personal conference room at the holy halls and Kyo closed the door behind them.

Kami continued. “You can't say that about each Angel of Revenge. Their task is to fulfill Gods orders. It is one class of Angels which is, although they are not as mighty as the Cherubs, closer to God than any other rank. In your opinion, hide, we couldn’t trust any of them ever again!”

“But as a matter of fact,” Kyo talked in between Hide and Kami, “we shouldn’t be surprised if an Angel of this category changes sides. Happened before, could happen again.”

Suddenly, they all looked over to Mana. “He is right.” Kami said although the others heard it as well. “The Angels of Revenge sometimes tend to change sides but before the war God was quite occupied with another Angel-class.... not the Angel of Revenge tended to change sides, some Cherubs followed Lucifer down to hell.”

“Come on!” Hide said. “That was ages ago! We have been through several wars and problems since then. The loyalty of the Cherubs is stronger than ever.”

“Hide is right. Bringing the Cherubs into this now would only cause more attention than needed. And besides, they have got a lot to do right now.” Kyo said.

Kami nodded. “We should really stay in closer contact with the Cherubs.... “ He paused. “I found it quite strange that none of the Cherubs spoke up today at the meeting.”

“There have been some in the audience?” Hide asked.

“Of course there have been. I’ve seen some too.” Kyo answered.

“Their silence is kind of strange…. The next meeting will be hold with them.”

“Absolutely.” Hide said.

“Oh,…” Kami turned around to look at Mana. “I hope he will be fine.”

“You’re speaking of Toshimasa, aren’t you?” Hide asked and Kami nodded.

“Poor kid.” Kyo added. “I haven’t seen an Angel that insecure since ages. Only thinking about him makes me grief. Poor child, really. I hope that his Guardian isn’t such a sleepy head.”

“Speaking of sleepy heads…” Hide grinned.

“Hey, no offense.” Kyo pointed with his finger at him and Hide dropped the topic. His gaze wandered to Kami who was obviously in thoughts. “Guess we can have a look about this Toshimasa in the book too?” Hide asked and Kami answered immediately.

“It's not our business. Although.... have you sensed his gift?”

“Gift? No. Maybe only you sensed it because you stood closer to him?” Hide wondered but Kyo spoke up. “That’s no excuse man. He is a wing healer.”

“What?! Really?! I mean wow.”

Kami smiled. He kind of liked that young Angel. There was something about his nature which was quite pleasant. “Anyway... soon we have to make decisions about special arrangements. The Cherubs know something and there is something in the air we cannot quite grasp.”

The rest of the Angels of Elements agreed on that.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Walking back to their apartment, Shinya totally ignored the comments and begs coming from behind him. He was angry about Die, the Cherubim and their silence today. At the meeting, there was something strange in the air. Everybody could tell that something big was about to come and yet Die didn't have the courage to tell him anything about it. Not even a hint. They who spent centuries together.

“Please Shinya, I told you before....” Die tried to reason him.

Furious, the beauty stopped in his tracks and turned around. “I've heard it more than once but protecting me with your silence only makes it worse. In the end all beings of heaven are concerned!”

Die looked very unhappy about their argument and since he had nothing else to say, Shinya continued his way back home. Die woke up from his state and started running behind Shinya, when he accidentally collided with somebody around the next corner.

“Goddammit! Are you blind?!” The other Angel yelled out loud. “Your wings must make it impossible for you to look aside!” The Angel added very rude.

Shinya, meters away, heard the Angel yelling at Die and he stopped immediately. He ran back towards them when Die pulled up his chin threatening. He was able to change moods within seconds and ready for anything if acquired.

“Watch your tongue.”

“Or else?” It was Karyu, also an Angel ready for anything if desired.

Shinya arrived behind Die and lay his hand onto his shoulder. Die calmed down immediately. “It's your lucky day.” He hissed between his teeth. “I'm not in the mood of fighting high-headed Angel-kids today.”

Karyu had a dirty grin on his face. He looked from Die to Shinya and his grin became even wider. He whispered something, only possible for Die to hear and the Cherubim lost it. With one hand around the throat he forced Karyu up against the wall. Shinya shrieked and Angels around them started to watch and whisper.

“Die stop it!” Shinya yelled and helplessly clung to Die's arm. Karyu, still amused though looked back at the red head and hissed. “So this face also has a name.” He laughed meanly although he had trouble to do so. He hissed something else which resulted in Die hitting his head hard against the wall.

“DIE!” There was something in Die's eyes Shinya was afraid of. But the Cherub made himself clear to Karyu: “You will never, and I mean NEVER dare touching him… or there will be a reason for me to go to hell.” Die hissed murderously low next to Karyu's face and dropped him to the ground.

Karyu touched his neck out of discomfort. He couldn't die from suffocating in heaven but it was unpleasant anyway.

Shinya meanwhile pushed Die back from Karyu and yelled at him. “What is the matter with you?!”

Die remained speechless and Karyu took his chance to stand up and make his sentiments clear. “It was my fault. Please excuse me.” Karyu smiled sweetly at Shinya which forced Die automatically forward again, ready to beat the shit out of him but Shinya got in between them and forced his lover back with all strength.

“Die! Stop it!” He forced Die back into safety distance. “It is better for us to leave.”

Karyu made a sound of pity. “Haven't met you here before …”

“And we better keep it that way.” Shinya said dryly.

“Are you sure?”

“R.u.n... before I forget myself.” Die answered instead with a murderous low voice. Every fiber of his body tensed and only Shinya in front of him holding him back. The beauty looked back at Karyu and the Angel dropped the topic.

With all efforts, Shinya pulled Die away from the scene. Karyu looked after them until they were out of sight. And then he smiled before he disappeared into the other direction.

  
  
Back in their apartment, Shinya became all silent. Too silent. This day too much had happened. Too many things which possibly could changed the future of them all. Shinya became melancholic, thinking about many things that he almost forgot that Die was still there.... him acting so brutal today only showed, that the Cherub was obviously stressed out about something. His nerves were wearing thin too. But what could it possibly be? They had been through hard times before but Die never hold up something for that long.... was it really so dangerous?

Shinya recalled Kami's little argument with hide before the meeting.... several parties already seemed to know something. When would they make it official?

“Stay right were you are.” Shinya rejected Die when he made moves to come closer to him. Getting comforted by him would lead to nothing.

Then Shinya raised his head as if he listened to something. Die looked at him from the other side of the room.

“Work to do?” He knew when Shinya did that.

"Yes. I'm leaving for the only pure souls in heaven, waiting to be born to earth. Humanity Die, maybe you already forgot about it.” And Shinya literally disappeared into thin air.

Die held his forehead in frustration. Shinya was hurting and because of that he was hurting too. But he had no choice. The position he worked in was too dangerous and they had to obey the laws too. No words to anybody outside the rank or Die couldn't guarantee for Shinya to be allowed to stay with him any longer.... And before that happened he rather have Shinya hate him for his silence.

  
Either way it hurt them both.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

He lost Toshiya on half way, disturbed about what happened moments before he dashed out of the meeting hall. Hakuei followed him immediately but the young Angel was too quick. Looking around in panic, he ran through the castle, turned his head to all sides and eventually stopped when he felt Toshiya being out of reach. He blocked the inner communication too of course.

Beaten by all those unfortunate circumstances, Hakuei returned to his apartment... which would be _their_ apartment very soon. From today on the proteges had to live with their Guardian Angels. Not that Hakuei was unhappy about it. On the contrary, this way he could better look out for Toshiya. Now AFTER he was so deadly embarrassed by that strange Angel. Hakuei was so furious about it that his footsteps halled down the corridor, he balled his fists.... in need of meeting this bastard again. God knows he would.

His walk slowed down when he saw a familiar figure sitting on the ground, leaning against his apartment door with his head buried between his arms. Hearing the approaching steps, Toshiya's head popped up in panic and his face fell when he saw who had returned. The moment Toshiya's face said it all, Hakuei felt like his heart slumped into his pockets. There was hurt in his eyes, next to pain and worst of all... a flicker of disappointment.

Nothing could have hurt Hakuei more than this short moment of exchanged glances.

The hurt on Toshiya's side was understandingly. Hakuei didn't or couldn't do anything in that moment. Nevertheless guilt weighed heavy on his heart.

The sound and feeling of somebody crouching down in front of him. He didn't lift his head.

“Toshiya,” it came as a whisper, “I'm heartbroken about what happened.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Uncomfortable silence, moments to search for the right words.

“Let's go inside-”

  
“Hakuei, actually I'd rather be alone.”

“I don't think that this is such a good idea.”

The dark, hurt eyes looked back at Hakuei. The sincerity reflecting in them was new though. “Hakuei, just leave.”

“I don't want t-”

“JUST GO for heaven's sake!”

The image of lips pressed together in thin lines.... And with a stony face and mechanical moves Hakuei removed himself because he was unwanted.

He shouldn't care too much. They told him that being a Guardian Angel was the toughest job ever, that hurt feelings and changing attitudes were daily routine but underneath that metal cloak he felt like wearing every day, there was feeling underneath. And it reflect in the only mirror no one was able to hide.

The look in his eyes told Toshiya that Hakuei was hurt too. And the mere thought of it... itched. No, it pierced Toshiya somewhere deep within and it felt as if something inside of him was slowly falling apart.

The old sorrow was forgotten when a new one made Toshiya feel uncomfortable.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It took Shinya too long to return home. Being a bundle of nerves, Die walked up and down their apartment, changing to sitting and suddenly standing up again. In his mind he played through all possibilities he's had: Telling Shinya, not telling, telling only half the truth but came to the conclusion that no matter what he did, it wouldn't seem enough anyway.

They never left the house after a quarrel. For that they loved each other too much, have experienced too much.

The sudden arriving of Shinya's presence went like a thrill through Die's angelic body. Like a puppy waiting for its owner he darted forward but the still mad face slowed him down at once.

“I have to leave immediately again.” In a hurry Shinya passed Die, heading for their bedroom, getting something and heading for the door again.

“So that’s it then? You just came back to me to tell me this?!”

“And to tell you that I won’t observe the tragedy of these two Angels any longer. They had an argument again, I can feel it. Because they don’t understand each other! It hurts me seeing Toshiya hurt! Maybe even more than Hakuei.”

“Oh hush my Dear! You can't say that! God knows why he put them together. You must NOT interfere and you know that.”

“HE'S MY SON Die! You know that and I can't simply do nothing! Something has to happen and it is my right as mother to watch over my beloved child!”

With one strong arm, Die held the entrance door shut when Shinya wanted to leave.

“Shinya, you know it's not allowed.” Then his voice became soft. “You are risking that we will be separated.”

“It is you who risks it.” Shinya glared furiously back at Die. Beaten by the headstrong Angel, Die let go off the door and Shinya stormed out, closing it loudly shut.

The sound halled longer through his head than possible. Close to desperation, the Cherub leaned against the wall of their quiet apartment, the words repeating in his head, the mere thought of the absence of _him_ breaking his heart.

What Die didn't know was that his beloved paused outside for a moment, suppressing the upcoming tears but continuing his way nevertheless. He played the melodramatic and knew it but he had no choice. Shinya left.

 

For good this time.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

  
Nothing in this big, strange world could have warmed Toshiya's heart more than Shinya's visit shortly afterwards. Why he felt so protected when Shinya was around, Toshiya couldn't tell. He just sincerely liked him.

“Where is Hakuei?” Shinya wondered and felt immediately that something must be wrong. Fact was that now hours after Hakuei's disappearing Toshiya felt guilty for snapping at him earlier that day. He regret it the moment it left his lips, the hurt in Hakuei's eyes burned into his memory. For Toshiya it was the hardest to actually live with somebody, being someone's responsibility but without Hakuei he felt alone instantly after he had left.

“Shinya, I …..”

It was the look of grief in his eyes, his body-language, insecure like a puppy and when Shinya took him into his arms, Toshiya broke completely. Miserably, shaking about his own insecurity and shame because he hurt the only person who ever claimed to care for him.

The older Angel kissed Toshiya onto his head, his eyes watering up as well. From all the trouble the past days and adding Toshiya's hurt feelings too. Yes, he felt it as well because their bond was special.

Instinctively, Toshiya stopped crying he looked up at Shinya.

“I know you can feel my grief too.” Shinya said quietly. “As I can feel yours.”

“Why is that?”

“Besides a Guardian Angel there is one more person able to feel your feelings....”

A pause, filled with anticipation.

“It is your mother.”

No confession could have been more imprinting. And later Toshiya wouldn't be able to recall his actions and thoughts in that moment or afterwards. Speechless and with a plain face, he moved back and looked at Shinya in utter surprise. He would have expected anything but not such kind of confession.

Shinya though looked at him lovingly, trying to ease his mind. “You have always been with me. In my thoughts and heart.”

“M-my mother,” he furrowed his brows, “you are my mother? But how? When? You were a child when I met you on earth the last time... and a boy?”

“We've met in another lifetime before. We are destined to meet each other on earth again and again.”

Confusion was an understatement and the thought of rebirth, karma and reincarnation still alien to Toshiya. But when it came from Shinya, it sounded so easy and natural. He simply had to believe him.

Shinya took Toshiya's hands into his. “The last time I've met you as a human on earth, it was traumatic for me too. I still see what happened to you in front of my very own eyes-” He paused. “And believe me I share your pain. Seeing you these days in all this pain and suffering, it hurts me too. But all I can do is offering my help and love.”

The look on Toshiya's face brightened up. He believed in every single word Shinya said and felt how it warmed his heart automatically. Toshiya tightened the grip of their hands.

“I know that you are there for me. You became irreplaceable for me.”

It made Shinya unbelievably happy and in reflex he pulled his son into a tight embrace. Caring through Toshiya's hair, Shinya told him.

“I love you Toshiya, never forget that.”

“I won't.... after all this time, I've found my mother. My true mother.”

Shinya kissed Toshiya onto his head and in that moment he recalled a phrase Die told him a long time ago: _Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of little children._

And only in this very moment Die's words started to make sense. Shinya understood that a mothers heart always cared and was not bound to time and place. That he could only feel at peace knowing that his child was safe.

“I wish I could take all your suffering from you but I'm not allowed to. This time I mustn't interfere in your development and karma. It is not my turn to care for you.”

Shinya's words came from his heart and Toshiya knew that. He felt as moved as Shinya did but had trouble to show it all open. “I know Shinya, I really appreciate it. Thank you, for everything. But I don't want you to suffer with me. It is my pain, my past I try to forget. I have to carry the burden and I can promise you that the burden won't carry me.... I'll try working on it.”

“Well, look at you.” Shinya touched Toshiya's chin lovingly. “I'm already proud.”

Another question weighed heavily on Toshiya's mind. “Shinya, if you are my mother... who was my first father on earth? My true father? Is it Die?”

A film started to play in front of Shinya's inner eye but his mouth stayed shut. He couldn't form the words nor the feelings for an answer. Several times he opened his mouth to answer but his voice had left him. “It's not Die, it's more complicated. Please allow me to tell you another time.”

Toshiya nodded. “And the woman who bore me the last time on earth? You were a boy last lifetime....”

“Being a mother doesn’t mean to give birth to your child in every lifetime. I gave birth to you the very first time your soul was born on earth. Your soul developed for the first time inside of me. The price for that was the highest price a woman could pay. I died right after giving birth but it was a price I was ready to pay.”

“I'm sorry about that.” Toshiya felt kind of ashamed.

“Oh don't be. It's the natural flow of things and I got you!” Shinya looked sincerely happy and it was his smile which warmed Toshiya's heart every time he meant it for him. “But about your mother last lifetime on earth.... she had to work off Karma too. That's why she had to leave you at the orphanage. She suffered from the separation and never forgot you. She was a good woman.”

“And you?” Toshiya wondered about Shinya's last life.

“And I had to work off Karma as well… harder than in any lifetime before. It was terrible. I didn’t die the normal way either-“ Shinya paused. “You must know that suffering is the companion of life just like love. Everything has to happen to you at some point to gain experience. And I do pray for your future that only good times will follow.” Shinya took Toshiya's hands again. “No one of us exists to be alone. This is the law of nature.”

“Hakuei is a soul not easy to warm up with…” Toshiya looked strangely back at Shinya. It made him feel uncomfortable talking about him. “But I'm sure that Hakuei is worth every effort. He's a good Angel and helped you a lot Toshiya. He was with you since a very long time and never stopped believing in you. And he knows you. In some aspects maybe even better than me. Never reject a being who sincerely cares for you.”

Toshiya kind of blushed. “I never rejected him.” And the moment it had left his mouth he knew that he did. “It's difficult...”

“As it is for every one of us, trust me.” Shinya stood up, ready to leave.

“You've got to work?”

“I'm afraid so.” Shinya smiled and leaned down to give Toshiya a kiss onto his cheek. “Take care, I love you my son.”

Toshiya gave a shy smile and Shinya left after a last glance over his shoulder.

Today Shinya had brought the sun back into Toshiya's life. Another piece of his big puzzle has been solved and Toshiya felt at ease like he didn't for a very long time now. Earlier he saw hurt in Shinya's eyes and wondered that even such a lovely and tender Angel like him must have suffered on earth once. What a cruel world, what a destiny they had to life with.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The sun already set that day but he was still alone. Die was a bundle of nerves. After the argument with Shinya earlier he couldn't concentrate on a single thing. There was something strange about Shinya's behavior. He was never an Angel who bore a grudge against anybody but these days he seemed so deeply upset. What was it that made him so angry, made him act this way?

When it came to Shinya Die couldn't judge objective. In case of arguments Die usually gave in because of Shinya's well common sense. But today Shinya completely shut him out. Didn't want to hear his excuses and left him behind.

They never used to separated before without settling an argument. And it ate Die alive. Especially now that Shinya was long overdue.

Driven by panic and concern, he stormed out their apartment. He would look anywhere for him, no matter the effort or danger. On his way through the castle Die immediately thought about visiting Toshiya but why should Shinya stay there half the day? What was even more frightening was the fact that their invisible connection where soul partners used to communicate through started to get thin. Every time Die tried to reach him there was simply no connection. And it became weaker with the passed hours.

Running through the big entrance hall of the sky castle, everything passed him like in a movie. An uncountable mass of Angels, some even bowing to him because he was a higher-sphered Angel after all but to him they all had the same faces.... except of one who seemed to stand out of the crow with his size and arrogant gaze.

 

“You!” Die echoed while he pointed with his chin at the rude Angel. Some Angels around them made their way faster to get out of reach. Bored, the other Angel stopped and looked down onto Die. “Are you talking to me?” It was Karyu.

“Oh, yes I am. For you Daisuke!”

“Ah, I knew it was something with D…” He smiled devilishly.

“I hate asking you but did you happen to see Shinya on your way around?” Seriously, after he asked he already regret it but Die was thankful for any kind of information.

Karyu looked strange at first but then his face changed into a beam. “Ah, I see. You're looking for the beauty....”

“All I expect of you is an objective answer. So did you or not?!”

“No.”

Die hissed as if he could have guessed. One part of him was glad though that Karyu didn't seem to be 'involved' with Shinya in any matter. Because at their last encounter he made his interest more than clear. He fancied Shinya and something deep inside Die itched by the mere thought of it.

Without another word, Die passed Karyu.

“See you again soon Daisuuuuuukeeeeh!”

Die stopped in his tracks, balling his fists but didn’t turn around. God knows he so wanted to provoke a fight but he knew better and for Shinya's sake he simply went on, leaving the castle to have a look outside in the gardens.

Die walked all the places he could think of, asked Angels here and there but with no success. He was close to going crazy. Hectically, he made his way walking, halfway flying through the gardens and landed when he saw a familiar figure sitting totally devastated under a tree, all alone and deeply thinking. It was Hakuei, with a facial expression Die just knew too well. He recalled the meeting from this morning with the rather unlucky Toshiya.... and yes, Hakuei's gesture wore definitely a Toshiya-taste.

He approached his friend slowly. Not that he would have noticed him anyway, for that he was sunken in to deeply in his own world. The red head leaned against the tree and crossed his arms over his chest.

“If I could… “, Die started, “I would offer you a cigarette. You seem to need it.”

Surprised, Hakuei jolted and looked back at Die. He laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, my old habit. Believe me, sometimes I wish for this old habits.”

“Same here.... If I may?” Hakuei nodded and Die took a seat next to him.

“You too had a terrible day.”

“Guess you can say that.” Hakuei's voice was heavy with grief and his gaze lost in the distance. The thing with Toshiya completely ate him.

“No progress with Toshiya?”

A heavy sigh. “I guess there was never any progress to begin with. We're running in circles and he doesn't want to be caught. Even less from me.”

“I see.... Toshiya is not an easy soul to work with but I'm sure that hard work will be rewarded. He is something special...”

“I know. After all he's the descendant soul from Shinya.”

Die made a stern face and an uncomfortable silence grew between them. Before Hakuei could ask Die started on his own again. “You know, he never told me about the father. It must have hurt him too deeply. I'm waiting for the day he'll be ready to.”

“Wow, that's very generous. I don't know if I could be that patient. ”

“Never would have thought that either but being with someone changes you. Speaking of which, I was on my way looking for Shinya but I can't find him anywhere. Did you see him after the meeting today? I know he was with Toshiya earlier...”

“Really? But no, sorry Die. Haven't seen him either.”

Die stood up. “Have to go, it's really urgent. Will you contact me in case you see him?”

“Sure.” Hakuei stood up as well. “I better get going too.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was time for Hakuei to return to Toshiya.

They both needed this time-out and now half a day later Hakuei hoped that Toshiya was willing to talk to him. He just wanted the best for Toshiya, encouraging his development, healing his soul but the young Angel was so hurt from his lifetime before that he closed in completely, letting no one in and hurting everybody who tried, especially Hakuei.

Shinya touched him in a way Hakuei never could but it was his responsibility to look out for him and make him strong. Hakuei knew that and for that he had returned. He found Toshiya in his own apartment as they had to share it from this day on. He lay on the couch and rested, his eyes closed.

His face looked so peaceful and yet his soul was so troubled. Hakuei's eyes wandered down the whiteness of his angelic body, the black hair which lay sprawled beautifully over his shoulders and arms. Toshiya had no wings yet but the time would come when he would 'gain' them. And he would look beautiful with wings.

Hakuei settled onto the ground in front of the couch, right besides Toshiya's head. There was something peaceful about observing another being in its sleep. It was the purest form of portrayal and the most fragile one. No pretending, no acting.... just existing in its purest form. His lips were curved pouty, fitting perfectly to the almond shaped eyes. His limbs were long and thin but fit perfectly to his oversized body height.

With a single touch he could wake him, get his attention and his eyes would open like a book, ready to get read all the emotions written in it. And all those unsaid words and accusations would wash over him like standing in poring rain.

A movement in his sleep and his consciousness slowly came back. There was a feeling of being watched and his eyes slowly opened. Blurry, he made out features. Startled by it, Toshiya moved slightly back.

“Don't be scared.” Hakuei's deep voice consoled him. He gestured him to keep on lying but with their heads on the same level, Toshiya looked down ashamed. He couldn't look him in the eye.

“Toshiya, your safety and well-being is the most important for me.” Hakuei started but by the tone of his voice Toshiya could tell that he had trouble to form this words. “I want to apologize about today, or anytime... for… for maybe not finding the right words or being too silent.”

He never expect that. Guilty about his own behavior, Toshiya bit his lip and shook his head at the same time. He wanted to retard but Hakuei went further on.

“I don’t want to hurt you. If I become unbearable for you I will release you from my bond.”

Now Toshiya moved up on the couch anyway. “What are you saying? Do you give up on me?!”

“No, I don't want to give up on you. What I'm trying to say is: One word from you and I'll respect your decision.... it would leave my very existence senseless though.”

His words weighed heavily on Toshiya's conscience. What did he do to gain so much mistrust? Yeah right, he did nothing except of making him miserable too. Ashamed of his very self, Toshiya looked down onto his hands, trying to form a clear thought but he couldn't. All he knew was that he didn't want Hakuei to go. How could he ever let such an honorable soul go? Hakuei was a noble Angel, Toshiya never thought ill of him but Hakuei must think that he did.

“It is me who has to apologize Hakuei. I know I was childish and there was nothing you could have done from preventing that stupid Angel embarrassing me like that this morning.”

“I should have-”

“It's over and I don't care.”

Hakuei nodded and couldn't help himself but to realize that Toshiya seemed to have grown over the hours... was it his own understanding or the influence Shinya has had on him? Either way Hakuei liked the change.

“Thank you... for all your help and being there for me.”

Something inside Hakuei broke. It melted his heart right away.

He never guessed that he wanted to hear these words so much but right now they seemed to be the cure for all the pain they have caused each other. In reflex, Hakuei moved forward and for the first time he sincerely took Toshiya into his arms. Carefully but certain he hold onto the fragile Angel who sat stiff in surprise on the couch.... only slowly the ice started to melt and he hugged Hakuei back. They were like fire and ice but the fire seemed to be the stronger element.

“I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble...” Toshiya went further on.

“That's normal for young Angels. I'm glad to have you back.”

“Please don't think ill about me.... sometimes I'm so confused I....” Toshiya started to stutter. He was close to tears. “I need you Hakuei. Without you I wouldn't be here, I know that.”

And he kissed Toshiya onto his hair while his hand glided down onto his nape and rested there. He was so moved by Toshiya's words. How come that he became so open and dependent? He opened up only a little but Hakuei couldn't wait for any further progress. He would be a great Angel someday. A powerful but merciful Angel.

Toshiya closed his eyes, forgetting the awkwardness of letting someone come close to him. And somehow it felt good. The strange warmth comforting him, it was okay.

“But Totchi, about your healing hands....” Hakuei moved back and the temporary warmth left again. But Toshiya looked surprise because of something else....

“Are you all right?” Hakuei wondered.

“Yes... it's just... I've never had a nickname before.”

“You don't like it? I'm sorry I-”

“I like it very much.”

Hakuei gave one of his adorable smiles before he moved up to sit next to Toshiya.

“It's a very rare gift and quite powerful. Never tell any stranger about it.”

Toshiya nodded. “Hakuei, there's something else I wanted to know... When I introduced myself today and said that I was born 17th century Europe, the crowd started whispering... why?”

“Today we are living in the 21st century.”

Toshiya was totally taken aback.

“Your soul slept very long and remained very long in this trauma state before I was able to get a grasp on you. But you needed this time. It happens so don't care about other Angel's opinions. The main thing is that you are back here with me. I was your Guardian Angel on earth for a long time and could never really interact with you. Having you finally here, talking to you, makes me really happy.”

A little smile crept over Toshiya's lips but he apologized immediately. “I'm sorry. I have never been an easy soul.”

“No one of us is really.”

Being on good terms with Hakuei again, Toshiya recalled the questions he always had.

“Hakuei... when every soul has a Guardian Angel why do so many people suffer on earth?”

“For experience and growth of the soul. You know the phrase: 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'... experience is something no one can ever steal from you again.”

“I'm sorry for being rude but I always wondered.... where have you been when I was killed on earth?”

The question itself was provocative but Hakuei answered without bias. “I was on the gates of heaven, waiting for you to return but your soul went into trauma state instead. I knew that your time was up because it was written in your 'book'.”

“Which book?”

Hakuei smiled. “Want me to show you something very precious?”

A nod.

“Tomorrow then.”

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

After searching all the places Die could think of, he had returned to their home. There was this tiny ray of hope that Shinya might have returned meanwhile... but their apartment was empty. A feeling of cold helplessness crept down his spine.

It was already too late to inform any higher authorities, so Die tried to get himself into sleep.

Tossing nervously around in his bed, there was hardly any sleep he could get. He lay awake for hours until the early morning hours when he finally drifted into a dream. A dream he had almost forgotten over the decades... but it was not a dream, it was a long memory of their last life on earth.....


	9. Chapter 9

Song to the Die and Shinya-chapters: 05 – God commanded his Angels to watch over you

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aX28bO7Gck&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=5](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aX28bO7Gck&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=5)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 09 / 1 of 5  


_The last life on earth_

 

The Die and Shinya-Chapters

 

 

 

Europe 1656

  
  
  


He looked out of the window as snow danced down from heaven. Tenderly and pure, slowly covering the world with a powdery white curtain. It made everything so beautiful and clean but yet coldness was one of the most dangerous enemies all people had to cope with. It was the time when children in Europe still starved and parents froze all year because of selling their last possession to get the family through the hard winters.

Shinya couldn't help himself but he always cared about the people less fortuned. Most of society these days only possessed the spare clothes they wore and they suffered hunger and coldness almost every day. It was impossible for Shinya to imagine.

The fragile young man looked out of the window. Maybe it was the snow that made him even more sentimental but as far as he could remember he had always been like that. Shinya loved to help people and he never demanded something in return. It was the look in their faces which was the best reward he could think of. Thankfully his parents, which he still lived with, understood and gave Shinya his freedom to act how he wanted.

Shinya observed the single snowflakes landing on the branches of the old oak tree next to his window. He used to read a lot during winter time in his cozy, little room. And then.... when the sky had this color of winter and the smell of snow lay in the air, a distant memory slipped into Shinya's mind. A childhood memory which was so horrible and yet unforgettable. It must have been around this time of the year when Shinya was this little child who met this strange but friendly young man in town.... who got shot right in front of his eyes.... and he recalled his name: Toshiya. It was afterwards that his naive thinking of a child changed to what he had become today. A compassionate person with the urge to help people.... he still remembered his face. Shinya didn't know why this person was so imprinting on him but he was thankful to have known him. Even for this short amount of time.

Shinya's gaze wandered absentminded over the book shelf and his eyes stuck on the biggest book standing in it, the Bible. Shinya couldn't even remember when he got it. He had the Bible since forever, maybe it was a gift for his birth. Having no Bible in the house meant bad luck and not believing in a christian God meant eternity in hell.

It was the darkest time in Europe. People still got burned alive on the pyre and tortured for being what they are told to be. People bought themselves free from sins to make sure to get into heaven and church became richer each day through this false business.

Shinya never believed in church. In a God maybe but the institution was more than questionable. But he kept his thoughts to himself because he wanted to stay alive. Any mistrust was highly punishable.

They all feared the men, coming in black robes from Rome, the rosary around their necks and preaching in the name of God. The Inquisition was dangerous and killed everything strange in between their ways. No one was safe of them, not even children. And who was suspected was already dead.

  
Shinya walked over to the closet and took out a long dark cloak with fur around the large hood. He loved that coat, a present from his mother although the cut was a little bit too feminine for a young man. But Shinya felt as beautiful as an elegant Lady in it. A kind of feeling he shouldn't have. A kind of feeling his mother was well aware of and they had several conversations about Shinya's clothes being 'too beautiful' for a young man. you are a boy Shinya. I can’t allow you to go out with such feminine clothing.… I'm afraid they will hurt you....

  
There was no place for individualists in this world.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 It was Sunday and all village people had to attend church. Whether they believed in God or not. Anyone staying at home caused unwanted attention.

“Shinya!” It was nearly seven in the morning when his mother shouted for him. His parents were ready to walk to church. Shinya stormed down the stairs and arrived at the door with his long coat and fitting scarf and gloves. His long, auburn hair peeked through underneath the large hood. He wore his hair longer than necessary and his father rolled his eyes before he continued his way out of the house. Shinya tried to ignore it but deep inside him it hurt anyway. Maybe every child wants to suit its parents.

It was a cold winter and they arrived after an hour in the next town. Some people were greeting, some starring at Shinya. Maybe because of his feminine attitude or his expensive looking clothes. His father had a nice job in town and they had more than the average people to life with. They passed a bakery and the smell of fresh baked cookies came out of it... Shinya remembered the day when he was a little child and 'this' horrible accident happened. He would remember it all his life and pray for Toshiya's soul.

  
They walked up a meadow where the church was build on. Behind the church was a graveyard and oak trees surrounded the place, giving it an almost beautiful, somber atmosphere. People gathered around the wooden portals of the church although the doors were opened. It was the place to meet for chit chats, exchanging news from past week and so on. But also the place for poor people to beg in front of the church.

His father got caught up in a conversation with farmers he worked with so Shinya and his mother went inside the church before all the seats were taken. Once seated, Shinya admired the beautifully painted ceiling. A strange contrast to the heavy, black wooden benches. Absentminded, Shinya lay his Bible down next to his left side at the end of the row. His gaze rested on the beautiful Angel statue in front of the church when something dark passed the alleyway net to him. He turned around startled and his Bible fell down to the ground. The dark shadow which had passed turned around and moved down to the ground to pick up the Bible.

  
“Here, I'm sorry Miss.”

  
He handled Shinya his Bible and Shinya looked up at the hood covered, masculine face. And underneath he wore a priests' robe. Shinya took his Bible.

“… thank you…” But all he saw were those deep, dark eyes. The moment seemed to last but was quickly over when the unknown person continued his way to the back of the church.

His parents followed and the mass started punctually like it always did... To be honest: There were more interesting things. The songs and prayers repeated year after year and the old Priest Grahams voice, monotone as it was, used to be no help either to turn it more interesting.

Meanwhile they knelled on little wooden benches in front of them to pray.

“Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, the Kingdom come…” The crowd in the church prayed loud. It was then that Shinya caught a glimpse of a dark cloak in the back of the church. He must be a new guy and it was waaay to interesting to pay more attention to him than the prayer. Shinya leaned slightly aside as he sat at the end of the bench. As inconspicuous as possible he tried to observe but turned his gaze back to the front again.

“… thy will be done on earth, as it is…” Out of curiosity Shinya risked to look up a second time and then he saw him leaning against the wall in the back of the church. “…in heaven.” They ended the prayer and Shinya spoke the last two words slower then the rest of the people. His breath got stuck in his throat when he realized the new priest looking back at him! Shinya turned his gaze down, God he felt so embarrassed. After the mass was ended all people stood up to leave the church and Shinya counted himself lucky that the new priest was nowhere to be seen. He called me Miss… he thinks I am a woman… must be the coat… Shinya recalled that the priest had called him 'Miss'.

“Shinya!”

He was daydreaming again. Shinya hurried over to his parents at the entrance of the church. He passed the many benches but shrieked when he felt someone holding him back on his arm all of a sudden. Shinya hurled around and found himself starring into those eyes again.... time seemed to stood still. And his masculine face came with an adorable mouth. The priest let go off Shinya's arm. He cleared his throat.

“Excuse me. Here, our gloves.”

“Thank you.” He looked down sheepishly when cold hands accidentally touched. The priest nodded

“SHINYA!” His mother called and feeling like being caught in the moment, Shinya ran off without another word. The new priest though watched Shinya's delicate steps until the beautiful auburn hair had vanished outside.

Shinya had just arrived outside when he overheard his father and some men talking about something which deserved his attention. “Ah yes, I saw that young man too. Walking around in the back of the church.” Another man added. “I heard that it must be old Grahams nephew. Who knows, sooner or later he might take over Grahams job.”

Shinya's father added. “I'm just wondering when he’ll take over… maybe in twenty years!” His father and some other man laughed out loud.

“You know,” another man started again, “I heard old Graham praising the boy for his studies in London and Rome…”

“No way!” Shinya's father said surprised. In the back his son tried to catch up every word. Today village gossip seemed kind of interesting... but only until his mother got Shinya's arm to walk back home again.

“You are sunken in thoughts… are you all right?”

“Sure, I'm fine.” He smiled and they left the grounds. Next week they would be back.... next week.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Shinya hadn't left the house until next Sunday. Gossip about a fetched woman from the Inquisition could be heard everywhere and everybody was afraid. Of course she was fetched because of wrong accusations about being a witch but fact was that any jealous neighbor could make up a crazy story about you and church would get you anyway.... just in case. The times were dangerous.

Shinya made his way to church with his parents totally absentminded, his thoughts circling about the madness from burning 'witches' alive.... he felt so bitter about praying for a religion which sentenced innocent people to death.

Behind his parents Shinya made his way to the well known bench inside the church and he sat down, starring at the Bible in his hands. He closed his eyes, still being tired and the noises around them started to cease and the mass began.

  
“A blessed good morning, to the community of this village.”

 

Shinya looked up to the front and there he saw him, standing in front of all of them and holding his first mass.

“As Priest Graham is absent because of occurring business, I'm honored to hold this mass today. I'm Priest Daisuke. ” He had a beautiful voice.

People started murmuring but only until the organ started to play. Shinya looked down onto his hands, being afraid to have stared too long. Their bench was not that far away from the front, close enough to make out eyes and facial expressions.... what an unusual name he had. Well not like his name was any better but anyway....

The mass went on its usual way but it felt kind of 'fresh', listening to his voice. Shinya imagined him telling fairy tales, he started to dream, started to forget about the people who died in the name of church and poverty.... but only until the priest said:

“Make sure not to ruin your relationship with God. Pray to him and the holy church and you will be safe. Watch out for the enemy as the devil has many faces. Especially these days. Only for the Lords’ and our protection, the Inquisition is in town.”

Murmurs became loud and people started talking. This news were quite frightening. Everybody was afraid of church these days. And Shinya was speechless that church made it official. He wanted to go home and feel safe there.

A prayer again and this agony was soon over. The last song played on the organ and the priest walked to the back of the church to the entrance. Like his uncle all these years before he started to say his good-byes to everybody in person.

A row formed until the entrance and Shinya waited patiently behind his parents. It was now that he realized that the new priests' attention would be his for the blink of an eyes. Shinya became nervous. What should he say? Should he say something at all? It was his father's turn and the priest shook hands with his father, then his mother.... he was so nervous.... a warm hand touched Shinya's hand and the delicate young man looked up into those dark brown eyes who seemed to search for the right words.

 

“God commanded his Angels to watch over you.”

 

And then he let go off Shinya's hands again. Shinya stepped outside and the beautiful words circled in his head. Wait a moment... can it be that he only said this to him?.... Shinya's heart started to feel warm by this lovely words. And his warm voice. The moment, the touch, repeated in his head and his voice cared over him over and over again.... God commanded his Angels to watch over you … that was so beautiful! He loved that phrase! It gave him a nice feeling and for a moment he forgot all the pain and misery.

According to the gossip, people seemed to be quite please with the new, 'good-looking' (how they called him) priest, even Shinya's parents said so. As for Shinya, the upcoming, boring Sundays couldn't come fast enough.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was a week later when Shinya became seriously ill. It started with a cough and overnight the fever set in. His mother couldn't sleep during the nights, she tried to cool him down and gave him to eat if possible. The days passed and time became an unmeasurable size, for the family and for Shinya. He dreamt the craziest things and woke in the middle of the night, only to find his mother sleeping on a chair next to his bed... he felt so sick. So weak like he had never imagined before. Shinya drifted into a deep sleep. And he dreamt again. But this time it was more intense. This dream differed from all the others because it felt so real and he 'knew' what people were thinking, it was so strange.

In his dream Shinya felt like lying on a bed, his body was weak and paralyzed by pain. He felt his muscles tensing and a burning pain down the lower half of his body. People hold his hands and cared over his head. A pressure which felt like tearing his body apart and from one moment to the other it was gone. Then they gave him something into his arms: A warm, crying bundle.... a child. With black hair. He is so beautiful.... was the last thing Shinya thought when his gaze became blurry. Just before he lost all his consciousness, he saw somebody standing in the back of the room, all illuminated with pure light. Shinya stretched out his hand and then everything was gone....

Shinya moved up startled in his bed from this intense dream. He panted heavily and touched his forehead. He was still so feverish that he didn't even bother to make anything out of this crazy dream. Dizzy, he fell back onto his bed....

 

The fever was higher than the nights before.

 

It was very early in the morning when Shinya's mom came into his room and when she touched his forehead, she moved back in shock and sent a tea cup down to the floor. But she didn't care and ran out of the room, down the stairs and grabbed for her coat. It was her son, her baby, deadly sick and she had to handle.

Her husband woke from the noise while she put on her shoes.

“Where are you going at 5 o’clock in the morning?” He asked sleepy.

“We need a doctor, now! Shinya's burning up!”

“Let me go-”

“You stay in the house and cool him down, I'll take Shinya's horse!” And the door closed and she was gone. Her father, still perplex, went upstairs to Shinya and did as he'd been told.

Shinya's mother stood in front of the doctor's house thirty minutes later and she rang the door bell but no one opened. Desperation, fear and panic welled up inside of her but she tried to stay calm. As panic wouldn't help either. The doctor was not at home but she needed help. Any help from anybody. Now. Still holding the horse with one hand, she moved up into the saddle and she rode up the hill to where the church and the priests' house were standing on. She was desperate and this the only idea she had come up with.

She jumped down from the horse and rang the bell of the priests' house desperately. It took a few moments before a totally sleepy priest, Die, opened the door, rubbing his eyes.

“Mrs. Terachi....” He realized and she was positively surprised that he already started to memorize the villagers' names.

“Priest Daisuke, I need a doctor or anybody who can help!!”

Die was bright awake within seconds. Firstly: The woman, obviously desperate in search of a doctor. Secondly: So early in the morning. And thirdly: It was Mrs. Terachi.... Die only hoped it was not the person he thought it could be.

“The doctor has left the village with my uncle for some business out of town. Holy Lord....” The priest looked into her desperate face. Luckily he came up with an idea.

“Wait here, let me try to help! I'm back in no time!” Die closed the door and she heard him running up the stairs back into the house. A few minutes passed and he was back in his priest clothes and with a leather bag slung over his shoulders. “Ready to go!”

Mrs. Terachi didn't want to ruin the young priests' enthusiasm. He was eager to help so who knows maybe he knew what could be done. She looked at Die and asked: “Do you have a horse?”

The priest looked startled. “No.”

“If you don't mind?” She gestured him to climb onto her horse and he did so. Then she followed him. “Special occasions need special procedures.” And they rode back the way as fast as possible.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Die didn't mention that he felt quite uneasy with horses so he did his best. Somehow he climbed down the horse and ran over to the main entrance as Shinya's mother gestured him to. He rang the bell a few times and Mr. Terachi opened it quickly. He looked quite astonished when he found the young priest standing in front of his door. Did his wife sent for the priest already? Not questioning his wifes' intentions, he moved aside.  
  
“Shinya's room is upstairs on the left side.”

That was the moment when his assumptions were confirmed. It was the beauty who was sick and her name was Shinya. Pity he learned her name under this circumstances too. Die lost his shoes at the entrance and he stormed up the stairs.

Shinya's father called from downstairs. “ I will tell my wife to make some tea as soon as she'd returned from the stables.”

“Thank you.” Die answered before he knocked on the door to Shinya's room.

No one answered, he entered slowly. He looked around the lovely decorated room. It felt so surreal, standing in her very room and then he saw the delicate person sleeping on the large bed to his left. Die slipped out of his long coat and lay it over the armchair. Then he came closer to the bed... it really was her with the long auburn hair sprawled all over the cushion. The morning sun shone through the window which made the lovely face only more pale.... her hair had somehow lost its shine. Die knelled down and touched her forehead. But Shinya didn't realize anything. He was somewhere between sleep and delirium and his moans and breathes where weak.

Die looked around and found a tea standing on a little table next to the bed. He opened his bag and pulled out a little metal box. Then he grabbed for the tea and put a handful of herbs from the box into the tea. These herbs were from an old recipe from a convent where he used to stay some years before. And he prayed that they would help now like they always used to.

“Shinya?” He whispered. It was strange saying her name out loud for the first time but it had a beautiful sound, he liked it. When no answer came, he repeated it louder and a weak moan was the answer.

“Shinya, you have to drink this tea.” Die hold the cup in his hands.

Slowly and with effort Shinya opened his eyes and all he saw was the black and white collar of Die's priests' robe.

“... a priest? I'm not dead yet, am I?” Shinya's voice was weak and he didn't get that it was actually Die kneeling in front of his bed.

“Certainly not! Let me help you.” Die excused himself and sat onto the mattress. Shinya tried to lean on his elbow and when he felt too weak to do so, Die moved his knee behind his shoulder and hold him up with one arm while with the other arm he gave him the cup of tea. Shinya drank, clumsily and spilled some of the tea on Die's robe. He was embarrassed and excused himself but Die made a gesture to not care. He settled Shinya down onto his cushion again and got a wet cloth for his forehead. When he turned his attention back to the ill, delicate person, Shinya was already asleep again. With sorrowful eyes Die looked at Shinya's face and brushed some of his strands away from his face.... maybe he looked at her face too long until he put the cloth onto her forehead.... he jolted when the door opened.

“How is Shinya?”

“Asleep. Mrs. Terachi, take these herbs.” Die gave her his box. “Put them into hot water. It should help to cool the fever down. And another thing: Cool down the calfs with wet linen cloth.”

Shinya's mother nodded and she ran down the house to fetch the cold water and cloth herself. She settled the ingredients onto the little table before she pulled away Shinya's blanket. He moaned slightly when the cold air touched his heated up body. A slight blush rushed over Dies face, seeing the beautiful bare legs. He turned away and said that he would wait outside.  


Die leaned against the corridor wall outside. Waiting, he looked around the corridor and back to the door next to him.... it was then when he discovered a little slit behind the door which revealed a slight peek into the room. He looked away again, feeling guilty to stare but curiosity made him peek again.

Shinya's mother helped her to sit on the bed to change pajamas as the current ones seemed to stick to her back. She pulled the top over Shinya's head and when the delicate person leaned in to her mother to get dressed again... Die's gaze wandered down automatically the slender body... and it was all flat! No breasts, nothing feminine he thought he had seen in Shinya all this time really existed.

Die looked away in shock. He felt like a pervert too for starring and on top of that.... It's impossible! How could his mind trick him like that! Shinya.... a boy?! Or more a young man but how could a young man be so beautiful? And lady-like? The way he moved.... Die felt like all his senses and nature were tricked by this single, breathtaking person.

Shinya was a man.

Well not that he had to care for it anyway. Shinya in his early twenties should be long married by now or at least being promised to somebody and Die as a priest swore to dedicate himself to God and church anyway. So no problem should ever arise here.

“You can come in again.” Shinya's mother called out for Die. He collected his thoughts and took a deep breath before he reentered the little room again. The older woman wrapped Shinya's calfs with the cold cloths and when she was done she asked Die kindly to look out for Shinya while she would prepare something for them to eat.

The priest took out his rosary when she was gone and sat beside Shinya's bed. He closed his eyes and held the rosary in front of his lips. He murmured words with his deep voice, a prayer.

Maybe it was the sound of his voice that Shinya slowly opened his eyes. This voice had something soothing and sounded familiar.... The features of the priest slowly became familiar, Shinya blinked his eyes and recognized soon that it was really 'the' priest... Him! Here! In this very room! And praying! Shinya's gaze wandered down to the rosary which dangled down from his hands. It was made out of Amber and the little Jesus underneath was made of silver. In the middle between the rosary a little Angel held the rosary together, flying over Jesus. It looked so lovely.

Still weak but feeling a little bit better, Shinya closed his eyes and murmured a thank you. Die stopped in his prayers and looked back at the petite young man whom was already close to sleep again.... it was unbelievable but although he had prayed so many times before, now in front of Shinya he felt kind of embarrassed. When he wanted to continue his prayers in silence, Shinya asked with his eyes closed.

“Do you know a prayer about Angels?”

Die thought about it but had to refuse. “Not about Angels, I'm sorry.”

A pause. Die thought that Shinya felt asleep again but he replied. “Last Sunday.... this phrase you said to me.... did you make it up yourself?”

Die recalled the psalm he told Shinya last Sunday. He wanted to tell him that this phrase was just for him, only for him, fitting so perfectly to him and he would tell him anytime he wished for him to. That he prayed to all of God's Angels to take care of this special person and-

“Priest Daisuke?”

Why did he say his name so sweetly? “That psalm about Angels really exists.” He hesitated. “It fits you. I wanted to say it to you after I saw you in church because you looked so sad. I wanted to see you smile.”

Die, being speechless about his confession too, looked at the surprised face of the delicate man in front of him.

Shinya turned his gaze down and mumbled into his blanket. “It meant a lot to me. Thank you. For everything.” His voice became weak and he closed his eyes again.

Die exchanged the cloth on his forehead and his fingers rested on Shinya's cheek to check the temperature.... his hand rested there longer than appropriate. And he pulled back his hand, balling it into a fist. Die closed his eyes and bit his lips when he stood up. Ready to leave the room, the house, maybe the village itself.

He gathered his belongings and the rosary around his wrists jingled. He stopped in his tracks. He knew that he really had to leave but he walked back to the bed instead. And he looked at the blushed cheeks and the long, sprawled auburn hair... How could beauty play such tricks with his rational mind? Betray him so much?

He left his rosary next to Shinya's cushion and left.

He left the house without the promised lunch, claiming to have business to attend to. But in reality his mind stayed back in this little room and all attempts to occupy himself with serious business, miserably failed.


	10. Chapter 10

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 10 / 2 of 5

 

_The last life on earth_

 

The Die and Shinya-Chapters

 

 

 

It was already dark outside when Shinya awoke the following day from the horrible night. His dreams were crazy and at one point when he thought his body temperature couldn't get any hotter.... it slowly but steadily went down. So he made it through the night. Shinya blinked his eyes, he looked around the room and found it empty. For the first time in days he saw clearly and slowly the memories came back. He recalled pieces of strange dreams, mixed up with conversations and faces... His mother, father... the priest.  
Carefully, Shinya turned around in his bed to sit up straight when something sharp sting on his hip. He searched for it under his blanket and hold the item up in the air to look at it... a rosary with a little silver Angel dangled in front of his face and he recalled the priests' face. _So he was really there!_ Shinya thought that it was all a dream. He looked aside and saw a little metal box lying on his table.... the tea with herbs, a silent prayer... s _o it was no dream at all._ But how did the priests' rosary come into his bed? He must have forgotten it. Shinya had to return it next Sunday and thank him for whatever trouble he went through to get into his home. But why did he come in the first place? Shinya was confused and as much as he wanted to recall what they had been talking about.... the memories were gone but all he could remember where the deep dark brown eyes which looked at him full with sorrow and....

Shinya didn't know but it gave him a warm feeling in his heart.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Half a week later Sunday came but Shinya's mother absolutely insisted for her son to stay at home. At one hand Shinya was glad he had not to attend because he was bored of church anyway but the past weeks he found it surprisingly refreshing. Not that a certain part was responsible for it. But Shinya wanted to return the rosary which looked expensive. That was the only reason. And to say thank you for all the trouble. He knew that his family were quite indebted for what the priest had done for them. Especially for Shinya. But reality was hard and his mother's explanations that he just came along because there was no doctor in town brought Shinya back to his senses. Of course. He did his duty as a priest. _Whatever did Shinya think of?... wait a moment. Why does he think of thinking of something?_

He was confused so he took out a book to read and settled himself downstairs in the living room in front of the fireplace. He was bored of his room anyway. It was a sappy book about a cheap love story but there was nothing else to read in the house. His mother loved literature like this but it bored the mind out of Shinya. Usually he worked a lot for his father so there was barely any time left for him to read on his free days. His father was a well-off landlord who let land to farmers around the village and Shinya and his mother always took care of financial matters and all the paper work. Another reason why Shinya was not married yet.

People knew about their higher social status thus Shinya had to be extra picky about a partner. Most people only wanted their money. Luckily Shinya was good with people and he was able to 'see' their intentions in their eyes, the way they moved or behaved around them. Nowadays, or especially these days there are almost no people you can fully trust. And most people bore him anyway. Shinya always felt like working for a higher cause, living for a higher cause... seeing the poor starve to death, unemployed people, uneducated people. Something had to be done.  
  
The front door opened because his parents returned from church. And they were not alone. A third voice echoed through the house and Shinya closed the book in utter shock. He looked around in panic and pinned his hair up with a pencil, He stood up and straightened his skirt... wait a moment, he wore the long black skirt he always used to wear at home because it was so comfortable. His father HATED it when he did that but his mother didn't mind. _'The Scots wear them all the time'_ she used to say then. But he really shouldn't wear it when guests were here. It was too late to run upstairs without being seen. His parents entered the living room... and behind them the person he last wanted to see in that outfit. Shinya's father sent glares to his son, seeing him dressed so inappropriate, his mother was positively surprised to see him feeling better. As to the visitor....

“Priest Daisuke,” Shinya nodded politely at him, “Mother, father.”

Shinya just wanted to vanish and so did his father. As to the priest... he lifted his eyebrows for the split of a second when he first saw Shinya standing all feminine with the long, black skirt, the blouse and the pined up hair with a few loose strands. Shinya didn't only move like a girl sometimes, he absolutely looked like one. No wonder it tricked his mind before.

“Good day.” The priest replied. “How are you feeling today?” He politely asked.

“Much better. My family and I are much obliged to your help. Thank you so much for your help and advise.” Shinya bended down slightly.

“You're welcome.” Die replied but before everything turned into a longer conversation, Shinya's father suggested his son to get changed and join them for lunch later. Of course Die got the tone in the father's voice and he saw Shinya's face.

Shinya excused himself and passed them before he went upstairs into his room. Die turned his gaze down when Shinya rushed past them... his fresh washed hair smelled in the wind he left behind, graciously he walked up the stairs and then he was gone. His father excused his son's ' _strange_ ' taste in clothing but Die told him that he got used to a lot of folklore costumes during his travels in foreign lands. He was not only young but educated and intelligent as well. Shinya's father knew that and appreciated it. As for Shinya: He knew that from the start. Die's eyes were not only warm and compassionate but intelligent as well.... _But why did they bring the priest back here?_ Shinya guessed that his parents must have invited him for lunch to thank him.

Back his room, Shinya looked at his clock and realized that lunch would be served soon. He was now appropriately dressed with a silk vest, white shirt and the matching trousers. His hair combed back in a long ponytail. A soft knock on the door and Shinya answered that he would join immediately. He put his book back into its shelf and when he turned around he breathed in startled. A tall, masculine person, all clad in black stood at the door inside his room. Die closed the door silently behind him. Shinya was too surprised and admittedly too nervous about what to say. Why was he here? Then he saw the rosary lying on his little table.

“Oh I'm so sorry, I forgot!” Shinya rushed over to the table and picked up the rosary. “You forgot it the other day.” He walked over to Die but when he looked up into his face his mouth became dry and he didn't know what to say. As for Die, his eyes beamed warmly at him. He lifted his hand, ready to take the rosary but instead he lay his huge hand around Shinya's long fingers and closed them around the rosary.

“It was a gift.” His voice was so warm and caring. “You have a thing for Angels?”

“W-well I guess.” _What a stupid answer was that?_ Shinya thought. “I like the thought of being guided.” Shinya blushed even more when he realized Die still having his hand closed around his hand. “I must apologize for the inappropriate choice of clothing earlier.”

Die made an astonished face. He pulled back his hand and moved slightly backwards to look at Shinya from head to toe. “If you ask me,” he started, “I preferred the skirt too but that's our little secret.” He blinked and truly: Shinya looked kind of odd in this male vest and trousers. “Look at me,” Die grabbed for his long, black priest cloak which reached from breast to toe, “I'm wearing a skirt too and no one says a word.” Shinya laughed and it was true: The priests' cloaks were long, black dresses but strangely it looked good on him and not at all feminine. Daisuke seemed like an open-minded person and Shinya liked that about him. He seemed like so much more than a priest, surely because he had traveled the world before. He was witty and surely an interesting person to talk to. Shinya looked at the rosary in his hand and stretched his hand out towards Die again.

“It looks very expensive. I really can't take it. After all you have done for us-”

Die shook his head. “It was yours the moment I learned about your love for Angels. Please take it for your prayers.”

Shinya pressed his lips together tightly. Something seemed to displease him. The priest looked strangely back at Shinya. “I'm sorry if I've offended you-”

Shinya shook his head. “No. It's me. I must admit that outside church I'm not a regular prayer.” Bitterness in his voice and Die felt that this pain seemed to go much deeper. Something must hurt him very much. “Please excuse me. I didn't mean to sound unthankful-”

“What hurt you so much?” The question was straight forward. Die looked back at Shinya who hold the rosary inside his balled fist which rested on his chest. A moment of silence but the priests' sincere look made Shinya talk.

“Life. Circumstances. People starving on the street and others burned alive.”

Die lowered his gaze. He nodded as he understood perfectly. “I understand.” He looked back at the delicate man in front of him who looked like a scared kitten all of a sudden. Die made one step towards him and he lay his hand over Shinya's fist which still rested protectively over his chest. “Have faith. If not in church then in love.”

The young man looked surprised about the words coming from a priest. The first priest he knew who was still kind of human underneath this heavy black clothing. Shinya moved his hand and Die pulled back his arm.

“I will pray for love.” He opened his fist and looked at the rosary.

Die smiled. He stretched out his hand again and placed it over Shinya's forehead. How come he always had to touch the delicate man? Shinya shrieked under the unexpected touch. “Don't be scared.” Die murmured something very quiet before he removed his hand again. Shinya touched his head and looked up at the priests' face, his cheeks beaming beautifully.

“If you need someone to talk to, you can always come to me. I'm sworn to silence.”

Shinya nodded thankfully.

“Now we better join your parents for lunch before we have to come up with an excuse.”

Shinya smiled and he followed Die out of his room.... Shinya didn't want to stare but he had no choice but to look up and down the priests' masculine backside which fit so perfectly with the long, dark robe. He concentrated on the stairs while the priest concentrated on the conversation he had earlier with Shinya's father.

‘ _Shinya’s old enough for starting his own family. Maybe an intellectual person with power, like you priest Daisuke, can give us the best advise. I'm looking forward hearing about your recommendation about a suited young woman for an upcoming engagement.’_

The situation Die had just been thrown into on this very day seemed to get complicated. Out of politeness Die agreed to give advise when a woman seemed to be suitable. But why his heart started to feel heavy each time the phrases repeated in his head, he didn't know.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

No one said a word about the plan Shinya's father had come up with. His parents were eager to see their son married soon and now they even 'hired' their local priest to look out for suitable partners. Shinya would inherit his father's business and for that he needed a helping hand, a wife, when his parents were no longer. When it came to relationships, Shinya became the _'triple s':_ Shy, strange and senseless. His mother tried to talk with him about relationships more than once but all she got as an answer was that he was ‘ _not ready, had no urge to, no one interested him and that he was happy with the situation now_ ’... in short: It was frustrating. For all of them. And seriously threatening. Their social status in town and village was important as well. To the villagers they had to look like a serious and reliable business partner. And for that Shinya had to take responsibility for his life and especially the business.

It was the middle of the week and Shinya was full healthy again. His father told him to get new clothes for the upcoming spring celebration but the way he urged him to get something new seemed rather strange, even or especially for his father. Shinya went into town anyway on his horse Leila. At the dressmaker's, he overheard some old ladies talking about something in the church's garden. They were quite agitated about it. He wondered what it was and since it was the third week he was absent from church because of his illness, he decided to pay a visit at the church grounds. He rode up the hill and stopped his horse in front of the stone wall around the church's property. He took Leila's reins and tied them around a tree inside the huge property. He passed the church, as it was closed today anyway. Shinya entered the cozy but beautifully overgrown garden next to it. There was a little fountain and a stone bench inside the garden but what caught his attention was something else.

Right in the middle of the flowerbed stood a new, huge statue. Even in the distance Shinya saw that it was beautifully crafted. He saw the thinking face of the statue, the long, flowing gown but only when Shinya walked around it he saw the majestic, huge wings on the statue's back. It was an enormous, androgynous, beautiful Angel, his hair long and curled. He sat on a squared stone, like waiting for something or rather like watching something. One of his hand was steady on the stone while with the other one he touched his chin. What differed from all the Angels he knew before was a tender veil which hung over his face but he seemed to see through it. Amazed, Shinya observed the statue from all sides. He stepped back to get a better view and he stumbled. He gasped in shock but felt how arms got to hold him around his shoulders... he looked straight into Die's surprised face.

“Are you okay?”

Shinya nodded and Die helped him up.

“I'm sorry.” Shinya apologized. “I was sunken in thoughts.”

Die smiled and nodded while Shinya tried to recall when he saw him the last time... and he hated himself for recalling it immediately.

“You discovered him.” Still the happy smile on his face.

“Priest Daisuke...”

“Please call me Die.”

Shinya nodded insecure. “Only if you call me Shinya.”

“Happily oblige.”

Shinya shouldn't feel happy about an insignificant little thing like that. He also realized that Die was dressed in ' _private_ ' clothes today. Trousers, Shirt and vest but he wore the white collar nevertheless.

“I saw your horse outside the garden.”

Shinya seemed surprised. “You know about Leila?”

Die laughed insecure and scratched his head. “Well, kind of. Your mother gave me a ride the day you were sick. I don't have a horse... it's a beautiful animal.”

“Thank you.” Silence arouse and Shinya followed Die's gaze up to the new Angel statue.

“Do you know what kind of Angel that is?” Die asked without taking his eyes off the statue. Shinya looked at the veil-covered face but he had never heard of such an Angel before.

“Not really.”

Die turned his attention to Shinya and narrowed his eyes funnily. “Promise not to tell anyone and I will tell only you.”

Shinya's heart made a slight jump. “Promise.”

Die made one step closer to Shinya and he tried to keep his voice down. “You see, a friend of mine is a stonemason and this Angel is one of a kind. There are many Angels the Bible doesn't speak of. You surely heard about the Seraphim, Cherubim, Guardian Angels... these are well know but this Angel is a 'Demon Angel'.” Shinya was glued to every word Die said. He was so pleasant to listen to and he had a gift to tell stories.

“It is a secret Angel-class. Only God knows about their identity. It is their task to keep the secrets of heaven, finding out about conspiracies and devilish secrets.” It was so interesting. Shinya observed the statue again with the knowledge he just gained. “And church allowed you to put up such a scandalous Angel statue?”

“Only two people in this village know about the true story so I guess it's okay.” Die blinked at Shinya and the young man looked down while his cheeks slightly blushed.

“Maybe one day I would love to draw it.” Shinya said.

“You can come here and anytime you feel like it. Say hello and you might even get a cup of tea.”

Shinya bent slightly down. He didn't know why but the offer made him really happy. A gush of wind played with his ponytail and he came back to his senses. It was really time to return home for supper.

“I should return. Thank you for your offer, Priest Die.”

Die lifted one eyebrow. “Shinya,” the young man's heart missed a beat when Die called him out of the blue like that, “we are about the same age, aren't we? Just Die is good enough.”

With that statement he had created a room of privacy no one else was allowed to interfere. And Shinya knew that or at least he had an inkling.

“So Die... see you next Sunday.”

A dazzling smile and a nod before the auburn-haired beauty turned around and left the garden to get back to his horse. But he didn't leave the grounds unobserved. A pair of warm, brown eyes followed the floating hair until he had disappeared in the distance.... and the smile on the priest’s face died down. What did he do? Every time he saw or talked to Shinya he behaved super polite and sweet but he couldn't help it. It happens automatically with Shinya. And the mere thought of finding him a finance in the name of Shinya's father... it didn't feel right and Die guessed that Shinya would hardly approve of it. Die decided that it would be best to behave like a gentleman and remain silent about it.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After Shinya had returned home there was something in the air and it didn't feel pleasant or happy to him. He passed the living room and stopped when he heard his mother asking from the inside. His father was nowhere to be seen.

“Hello Shinya. How was your trip to town?”

It was the way how only parents were able to ask and by the tone of it Shinya knew immediately that something was up.

“Pleasant, thank you.”

“I see.” His mother stood up from the armchair and looked at him. She gestured him to come inside and Shinya breathed in deeply. He guessed he knew what this was all about.

“Shinya, I know we've had several discussions about this one topic-”

Shinya rolled his eyes.

“But your father absolutely insists on getting it settled.”

The young man breathed deeply in and out and tried to keep his calm.

“You are almost too old getting married-”

“I'm twenty-seven Mom.”

“And soon you will take over your fathers business and estates. To manage everything you will need a reliable woman.”

“You mean to meet other people's expectations. I for myself know that I won't need anybody this close to me.”

“You can't live all alone your life! We will be gone at some point and no one will look out for you. Ever thought of that?”

“I will simply hire a reliable business partner.”

“You've got an answer to everything don't you? It's not only about business and your personal preferences. It's about our family's reputation as well. This business was inherited from your grand grandfather and we will do everything necessary to uphold the family tradition. We need an heir to keep the business running.”

Shinya widened his eyes in shock. This part of the deal was new to him and he realized that he was in too deeply already, there was no escape. He was trapped and depended on his family's fortune as well.

“If you won’t find a suitable woman until the beginning of summer this year, you will join your father on his business trip until winter and you will be finding a woman then, or we will do. I wish I could tell you nicer but these are the facts. I'm sorry Shinya. I know it's hard for you. ”

The young man bit his lip. These were grave news and he still worked on it. It made him speechless. He was mad and sad about the hopeless situation.

“The spring celebration in two days is the best opportunity to meet new people. You will escort us there and you better interact. Otherwise I don't know how your father will react. His patience is wearing thin recently... Shinya, see it as a new challenge. It's part of everybody's life.”

And he hated it. Words could not describe how mad he was. His mother passed him and when she wanted to touch him on his arm he pulled away and left the living room before her, returning into his room. And there he stayed for the rest of the day.

The following days were quiet, even too quiet for a person like Shinya. He spoke when necessary and so did his parents. His father never came to speak of it.

The spring celebration came and Shinya felt stupid even before he had left the house. He felt like being dressed like prince charming: A black trouser with a long sleeved white shirt, fitting black vest with a bound silken scarf around his neck. No one went to an innocent spring celebration this posh, only the higher citizens of course and his parents weren’t shy to count themselves to them. As for Shinya he would have rather enjoyed sitting next to the fire place, observing the fire, the evening sky and the people having fun. He had never been an outgoing person and already now he knew that this evening would be a disaster.  
  
The celebration took place on a meadow next to the church's grounds. It was midday and in less than two hours the sun would go down and the night air would become chilly like it used to be at this time of the year.

The music coming from the meadow made Shinya sick already. Too many people would be there, too many eyes would be starring and way too many stupid questions would be asked. That's what Shinya could already guarantee for.

He walked behind his parents and stopped every ten meters because of the many acquaintances from his father. The usual small talk and false smiles. The usual looks onto his hands to check for an engagement ring... Shinya prayed this day to be over soon.  
  
At some point his mother pulled him closer and pointed over the place with her head. She mentioned a beautiful young Lady. Within moments Shinya got her whole resume and by her looks he knew that this girl was arrogant, cold hearted but beautiful, jippieh. Victory in that point. His mother kept on talking but what caused Shinya's attention was his father a few meters across from them, talking to the priest. Dressed in a decent robe for the celebration but nevertheless with a touch of church. Nevertheless, Die seemed to be the only interesting person on this meadow to talk to and Shinya changed plans.

“Mother, wouldn’t it be polite to say hello to the Priest? Because father is talking to him…”

His mother turned around. “Quite right. But let me assure you to keep an eye on that girl.”

Shinya forced a 'yes' and his mood momentarily changed when they approached his father and the priest. A quick smile went over Die's face when he saw who approached them and his face went back to business when they exchanged the usual lines and good wishes. Die noticed immediately that Shinya felt unpleasant. To be honest, in the distance he didn't even recognize him at first. He looked like a dressed up prince, an actor, a puppet. He felt sorry for the young man.

“Tell me priest Daisuke,” Shinya's mother started, “is your uncle, priest Graham, back in town.”

“I'm afraid he's not Ma'am.” She'd taken him back into reality. “But we await him anytime.” Shinya furrowed his forehead slightly. Being an observing nature he used to get people's moods quickly. Today Die seemed kind of unsettled, maybe even nervous.

“If you will excuse me,” Die excused himself, “I will have a word with the major.”  
  
His parents decided to join the other citizens and his mother gestured Shinya to take a round on his own, meeting new people. Die had left, his parents were gone and there he stood all alone. Not that he felt completely stupid now. Shinya looked around, trying not to look helpless when a deep but pleasant voice said his greetings behind him.

Shinya turned around and looked at a man with gorgeous long blond, curled hair and blue eyes. His clothes were exquisite and Shinya knew immediately that he must be foreign, maybe someone from Paris. Seeing him all beautiful and almost androgynous, he looked like a model of a marble statue.

“Good evening.” Shinya replied and he realized that this person had something positive, if not a scandalous force of attraction.

“I'm sorry for talking to you as a total stranger. I'm on a journey through the country and stopped by in this lovely little village.” He stretched out his hand and Shinya took it. “I'm Kamijo.”

Shinya smiled. “I'm Shinya.” They had exchanged a few words and Shinya had this strange feeling that this person was absolutely trustful and loyal.  
  
“Do you live here?” Kamijo asked.

“Yes.” Not a very happy reply. “And this beautiful little feast is the annual spring celebration.”

Kamijo smirked. “I guessed it right that you don't like it here.”

“Good Lord no. It's my obligation-” Shinya stopped. Bad talking was very rude. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.”

“I totally understand.”

“So, where are you coming from?”

“I'm just a french writer, traveling the world to seek for inspiration.”

It sounded beautiful. To do whatever pleased you. “That's nice.”

"And you?” Kamijo wanted to know.

“I'm just the heir of a family business. We let estates.”

Kamijo nodded and narrowed his eyes. “You are a beauty and more intelligent than all people counted together here.... what are you really doing here?”  
  
The question was deep philosophical and Shinya found it interesting. “To be perfectly honest: I'm here to look for a fiance but it was not my idea.”

“Your spirit bound under the spell of marriage would be a waste of talent. It would kill you.” Kamijo's words seemed harsh but Shinya was thankful for his honesty.

“How do you know?”

“Trust me. During my travel's I've met people and you can see it in their eyes. You are different.”

“Maybe but these days it is very dangerous to be different. The church, the Inquisition. Mistrust and gossip is everywhere.”

“Then choose your friends well.” He gave one of his dazzling smiles. “I like you Shinya. If you ever need my help, don't hesitate to call on me.”

“KAMIJOOO!” In the distance a chorus of girls called out for his name and Shinya wondered for how long the french nobleman was here.

“My petite beauties, we will join you immediately!” He called back and looked at Shinya. “Care to join?” And since he had nothing better to do he followed Kamijo over to the group of girls. Of course he was perfect in small talk and flattering the girls without getting to personal. As for Shinya, he only smiled, nodded and gave short answers when asked something. So he didn't realize that the arrogant girl his mother talked about earlier had her attention all on Shinya.

Kamijo excused himself when he took one of the beautiful Ladies for a walk. It was then that the arrogant girl approached Shinya. They exchanged their greetings and names. Her name was Elisabeth and Shinya didn't care. There was nothing about this girl which could possibly interest him. Unfortunately, Shinya seemed to be her aim and she asked him to take her around the meadow and being a gentleman.... he said yes.  
  
Usually a man lead the way when taking a walk but this woman was far too dominant and her way of talking, not to mention the topics, were more than Shinya could take. He would rather marry a cow than a woman like this. She startled him when she asked.

“You are so quiet. Do I bore you?”

God knows he wanted to say yes but Shinya always behaved. “I'm sorry. No you don't. I'm just tired.”

All of a sudden her grip around his arm became firm and she walked closer to Shinya. His senses were on high alert and all her excuses about feeling cold seemed threadbare. This woman knew exactly what she was doing and she knew exactly who Shinya was.

“I think we should better return. It's getting dark anyway and-” Shinya said but she rudely interrupted him.

“Are you so dense or just playing the ignorant?”

“Excuse me?” Shinya asked in disbelieve.

She let go off Shinya's arm but only to push him slowly but surely backwards onto a tree. “I’ve never had a man who was so shy, innocent and yet so sexy…”

She leaned into him, coming dangerously close to Shinya's face but he hold her back on her shoulders and slipped away from this tree. She fumed and was terribly disturbed and mad.

“No man ever refused me!”

“I'm sorry but I pass.”

She walked towards Shinya and he had to admit that she scared him. “Look Elisabeth I'm not the man you're looking for and-” But she shut him up while she pressed her mouth onto his lips, holding onto his face. It was Shinya's first kiss and disgusted by her action he pushed her away from him and she landed on the ground, dirtying her light-blue dress. She looked back at him in shock and anger but Shinya was at least the same annoyed and he really battled whether to just leave her behind or really helping her up.  
  
He stretched out his hand and helped her up. She took the offer and after he'd helped her up she pulled back her hand and slapped him right across his face. That movement came too fast and Shinya was shocked and absolutely mad that little brat. It was not his body that hurt but his pride. Narrowing his eyes, Shinya turned around and he walked back the way they had come from, back to the feast. He left her behind and couldn't care less how she would get back on her own. Shinya had enough of this people, this feast and expectations. No one in this world could make him stay here any longer.

It was Kamijo who spotted Shinya in the distance and of course he got his change of moods. “Are you all right?”

It was only one glare from Shinya and Kamijo knew that he wasn't. “Oh my. You took the worst girl for a walk, I get it.”  
  
Shinya still glaring.

“Listen to the advise of an old man: Forget all the expectations, all the people. Only listen to your heart. You know what's best for you.” He lay one hand onto Shinya's shoulder and the young man breathed out. That advise was simple but the best. Shinya was so blind. He thanked Kamijo who looked back at him with his deep blue eyes... he was a charming man but yet he transmitted power, nobleness and power. For Shinya he seemed like a God.

“It was a pleasure to meet you Kamijo.” He stretched out his hand and said goodbye to him. He really wanted to go home immediately.

“The pleasure was all mine. Hope to see you again some day.”

Shinya nodded politely and turned around to walk back to the crowd. When he looked around for his parents he realized that Kamijo was nowhere to be seen. He must have left as well straight afterward.

But something else got Shinya's attention. Next to the church grounds he saw how the priest talked to a young girl... and it was not such a small talk, 'how're you doing'-kind of talk. Die seemed quite charming and the girl seemed to enjoy the conversation very much. Shinya narrowed his eyes and wondered since when priests were allowed to hook up with girls...it was the fact that his father joined the conversation which really shocked him. His father talked to Die and the girl and Shinya knew immediately that something was quite strange about that scenery.

He wanted to leave. Now. Even alone when necessary. Shinya turned around but his father's voice called out for him. The young man stopped in his tracks and cursed why he didn't run. He turned around unimpressed and said hello to everyone. Die got his mood straight away but his father was the ignorance in person. But there was something else in Shinya's eyes that Die didn't like one bit... something must have happened. Shinya's inner balance was missing and he seemed hurt somehow. Die couldn't help himself but to feel strangely protective of Shinya, for the first time. He so wanted to talk to him in private but it seemed impossible.

“There is someone I wanted to introduce to you Shinya.” His father gestured the young girl to step forward and she bended down politely.... Shinya wanted to scream and pull on his hair. When did that nightmare end?

“Her name is Sophia.”

And as polite as Shinya was he exchanged the words everybody wanted him to hear. But the way how he did it a stone could have won the competition by far. His father was not pleased at all and Shinya saw it on his face. He excused himself for not feeling well and it was then that Die realized the slight red mark on Shinya's cheek... _What happened to him?!_ Die wanted to know and do something immediately.

As for Shinya, he left the group behind after another excuse and his father had all trouble to cheer up the shy girl. OF COURSE Shinya knew why they had introduced that girl to him... he wondered what a couple they would have made: Two mute, shy people married. Well, maybe it wasn't the worst option when he thought back to the arrogant Elisabeth from before.

His father had followed him to the end of the meadow and he pulled Shinya back on his shoulder. “How dare to embarrass the three of us like that?”

“What father? I said hello, excused myself and left. What do you expect of me?”

“Interaction! I introduced that girl with a cause!”

“I've had a terrible day and my head aches. I want to go home, now.”

“But you can't! I-!”

“You and mother can enjoy the feast. I will return on my own.”

His father yelled and scolded behind Shinya. “We will have a serious conversation tomorrow!” And Shinya as polite as he was excused himself for not feeling well and he made his way back home alone, by foot and it was in the middle of the night when he finally returned.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The following morning Shinya had an endless lecture from his father. According to him Shinya was spoiled, impolite and selfish. Not caring about the family business, their reputation... the same things he had heard from his mother countless times before.

“You are always sulking and never interacting! No wonder no one wants to get close to you!”

That hurt. A lot. It silenced Shinya even more than before and he looked down onto his hands. He listened to a few more accusations before he stood up and left the room, despite his father calling him to stop.

Shinya slammed the door shut but his father went on ranting while his mother tried to calm him down. He didn't want to cry. He wouldn't allow himself to cry. Shinya swallowed his anger and lay down into his bed. He covered himself with his comforter and couldn't help it when a few single tears dropped onto his pillow. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. He started to dream.

In his dream Shinya felt his consciousness being wide open. He was drawn to a scenery, he heard voices and thoughts, a warm feeling encircled him. There were two people walking under the sun and Shinya knew that he was gone... an man and a young boy.... this boy was his son. Shinya simply knew it and his heart was full with love when he saw the little boy walking on his own and his adopt father walking behind him.

‘ _Daddy, where is mommy?’_

Shinya couldn't see faces he only heard their voices, their thoughts. He observed them from a sphere they were not aware of.

_'The Angels took her back into heaven and instead they left you here on earth.'_ He responded.

_'But I want to see her.'_

_'Some day we will meet again. You must be patient.'_

Shinya felt like crying. They were so lovely and the feeling of 'home' spread in his heart. A feeling Shinya never really knew. His ghost, his soul, spread over the little boy and Shinya kissed him onto his head. The boy didn't realize it.

_'… I love you my child.’_

Shinya had tears in his eyes. He knew instinctively that he loved them so much and he knew that one day they would be reunited.

Shinya felt how he unfolded his wings. It was the last occasion to meet them. He would return into heaven to wait for them there but not before he took one last glimpse of his beloved man. The man turned his face around slowly. Dark strands of hair hung deep into his face and before Shinya was able to make out features....  
  
Shinya awoke from his sleep and breathed in and out loud in shock. Scared and amazed by the intense feelings he moved up into a sitting position, resting with his head on his hands. What kind of dream was that? It felt so real... and the tears in his eyes were real too. And all this emotions and love he had felt seemed real too.

Shinya recalled that some time ago he had a dream about giving birth to a baby boy.... could it be? An ongoing story? Of what? A strange life? His life? No, it was impossible.

Slowly he stood up from his bed, it seemed quiet in the house. Carefully Shinya opened his door and he heard his parents talking downstairs in the living room. He tiptoed to the railing and out of curiosity he listened.

His mother talked. “Shinya is not ready for marriage yet. Maybe we have to wait some more...” Of course it was about him.

“We don't have time to wait! We are all getting older!” His father obviously still upset.

“And what to do next? We can't burden him any longer with looking for any more girls for Shinya when he turns them all down anyway.”

Shinya widened his eyes in shock. What are they talking about?

“I know. I will release him from my request.”

Whom where they talking about?

“When will you tell the priest to stop looking for any more girls?”

Shock and realization went through Shinya's whole body and everything started to make slowly sense. It couldn't be... that they asked Die to look out for potential fiances? He was speechless and found the whole idea quite crude.

“I will apologize to him next Sunday. Shinya will join me on my business trip coming summer and then I will take care of finding someone suitable.”

Not only was Shinya's future decided for him now, he was also deeply hurt about the whole conspiracy. With shaking hands he went back into his room. He closed his eyes for a moment before he took his coat and leather gloves. Then he stormed out of his room and downstairs past the living room.

“What are you doing?!”

“Going out for a ride!!” And the door was slammed shut behind the furious man.


	11. Chapter 11

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 11 / 3 of 5

 

_The last life on earth_

 

The Die and Shinya-Chapters

 

 

 

The sun on that day was close to set but Shinya didn't care. He didn't care if it was an appropriate time to visit people or if it was appropriate to ride so fast through the village. He rode as fast as wind could take him over the fields up to the place where he would find HIM. Blind of anger, rage and something else... maybe it was hurt but he didn't allow himself to believe that.

He jumped down from his horse in front of the parish. His hair was a mess, his cloak swung dangerously with the dramatic wind... Shinya looked as if hell sent him personally up here. The furious man looked to his left and found the church doors open. He stormed right into it without cleaning his shoes or murmuring a short prayer.... Shinya stomped to the very end of the church and stopped when no one could be seen. The candles were lightened so anybody must have been here. A noise at the door and Shinya turned around. And it was him. Die, holding a book under his arm looked perplex at the beauty who stood in front of the altar.

“Shinya?” Came the unbelievable question.

And it set the man on fire. Shinya stomped his way back to the entrance, his cloak floated with the moves he made and his hair blew dangerously back from his anger filled face.... and slowly but surely Die got an insecure feeling. His survival instinct told him to run but he stood glued to the ground. Shinya was within reach so Die asked if everything was all right but before the priest was able to close his mouth he already felt the hot sting on his cheek and he dropped the book in his arms.

Startled, Die hold his cheek and looked back at the furious young man in front of him.

“YOU!“ Shinya pointed at him. “YOU are the biggest traitor I’VE EVER MET!!”

“Please…” Die croaked. He was surprised himself about the weakness in his voice.

“Don't speak!! All the time you're smiling and talking to me but behind my back you are-!” Shinya paused. “How could you!”

Slowly, tires began to work and Die had an inkling what this was all about. He looked back at Shinya and saw the anger in his eyes but there was something else as well... And he felt miserable. He felt miserable the moment his father wanted him to help in that love-matter and Die knew that it was wrong but he couldn't say no to Shinya's father. And now Shinya was mad and disappointed and Die felt like a bastard. He turned his gaze down and murmured an apology.

“I'm sorry Shinya. I just wanted to help-”

“HELP?! Do you have any idea in what trouble I am?! No, you don't. And I thought-” He stopped abruptly. It didn't matter now anyway.

“So did he pay you for your service?”

Die leaned his head aside and narrowed his eyes. “Shinya, of course not! I didn't want to be rude to your father and believe me it was not easy for me too.”

“And I thought you would be different... but it doesn't matter any longer.” Things were settled. His father would find him a fiance when Shinya left with him for a business trip this summer.

One last bad glare and he passed Die without another word. His hair flowing with the wind when he passed him, his eyes too full of emotions.

Shinya left the church and Die closed his eyes, listening to the angry footsteps walking over the gravel. The priest battled with his mind whether to run behind him or letting him be but he was too shocked himself about the temper and accusations... and Shinya had every right to be mad at him.

Outside the church walls, a french nobleman with long, curled blond hair leaned against the property wall as if waiting for someone. In the distance he heard angry footsteps coming closer and then he saw Shinya, getting his horse and leading it out the courtyard. Shinya already wanted to get onto his horse but Kamijo interrupted him.

“Hello Shinya.”

Startled, the young man turned around and he recognized Kamijo from the spring celebration.

“Kamijo! What are you doing here?”

“Just taking a walk before leaving this village-” Kamijo stopped talking when he saw a similar disturbed priest running out of the church. Die stopped in the middle of the courtyard and looked around in panic. His face dropped when he saw whom Shinya was with and Kamijo got it. “Care to join me?” He suggested anyway.

Shinya agreed and he lead his horse next to him out of the property, Kamijo followed him. The priest however who observed the whole situation stayed back and decided not to follow them. He went back into the church.

The silence between them was heavy. Kamijo looked at the young man with his dropped shoulders, the horse pulling Shinya behind him on his reins. His face had changed from mad to sad and there was no movement, no look which wouldn't have betrayed Shinya. Kamijo raised one eyebrow and he breathed out loud.

“Oh my, what a bad timing of me. I didn't want to disturb you.”

“What do you mean?” Shinya asked.

“Come on. I saw you and I saw him.”

“Him?”

“Of course! Following you! He wanted to speak with you!”

“I don't care.” Shinya said with the most non-challantly tone he could bring up.

Kamijo unfolded his fan and looked into the distance, his face bearing a wide beam.

“What are you smiling about? Stop it!” Shinya said.

“Ohohohoho….” Was Kamijo's only response.

“I don't like you making fun-” But Kamijo interrupted Shinya.

“Hoooooooow scandalous.” Kamijo hold the fan in front of his face, allowing only his eyes to look over the edge. Slowly, even Shinya got a hint what Kamijo was appealing to.

“Stop it, right now.”

“With whaaaat?” His beaming became unbearable.

“Argh!” Shinya pulled on the reins in frustration and the horse stopped.

Kamijo was amused by Shinya's obvious reactions. “Calm down sweat heart. There's nothing to be ashamed of.”

“You are right! There IS NOTHING to be ashamed of.”

“Not yet.” Kamijo enjoyed this game too much while Shinya simply glared at him.

“You must know,” Kamijo continued, “that there was no move, no look which wouldn’t have betrayed you. You do 'react' towards him. Maybe you don’t realize it but you do.”

With his mouth wide open, Shinya stuttered explanations. “Y-you know that any accusation of such a wild theory could finish us all!”

“Then remain silent about it.” Kamijo waved up with his fan, making a not caring gesture. Then he lowered his head to Shinya's and whispered at him. “I have seen and heard of things inside the royal palais you wouldn’t even think of. But do you know what? That’s their business! Why should people care!”

Shinya blushed, thinking about the meaning of his words. But life was not so easy outside of court. He sighed.

“It's eating you and I'm sure the priest too. He's a sensitive man, don't hurt him unnecessarily. I know such kind of people. They are noble at heart.”

Shinya sighed again. Kamijo continued. “You should make up with people you care about. That's what's really important.”

“I know I can get a temper but-”

“Think about it!” The blond interrupted Shinya. “My my, so late again. Well I guess I have to leave.”

Shinya nodded and thanked Kamijo for the walk and wished him a pleasant journey. He felt better already maybe because Kamijo had such a kind of nature to calm people down. Shinya really liked him and he knew that he would miss him. The young man got onto his horse.

“Will we meet again?” Shinya wanted to know.

“I'm sure we will. One day, another time, another place.” Kamijo blinked at him and with a last nod and a dazzling smile Shinya rode into the distance and Kamijo looked behind him until he couldn't see him no longer. His smile left his face while the upcoming wind played with the long, golden locks of his hair. With another gust of heavy wind, leaves danced around him and when Kamijo was sure that no one was around, his body dissolved into thin air and he had vanished.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was dark when Shinya arrived at home and his parents were nowhere to be found. He was glad about it. They must have gone out to town, meeting friends or something, maybe even looking for a fiance, who knows. After all this anger and thinking, Shinya felt simply empty when he returned up into his room and god knows he wouldn't have been able to have any kind of conversations for the rest of the day.

His breathes were heavy when he sunk into his armchair and covered his legs with a blanket. The book in his hands was some kind of novel he didn't even care about and reading the same sentence for the 10th time didn't make things any better. Frustrated he lay his book aside and stared at his hands.... he really slapped Die across the face today. Repeating the scene in front of his eyes, he still saw the look on his face. _Was it hurt?_ All Shinya knew was that he maybe overreacted and he felt kind of ashamed. Maybe Die was really only pulled into this whole mess because of his father.

Shinya sunk his head into his hand, closing his eyes. The whole ongoing suddenly became too heavy to bare and he felt close to tears. He rubbed his eyes when suddenly the doorbell rang and he almost fell off his armchair in shock. The young man went downstairs and he looked through the little window to make out who it was.... and the long black robe and its silhouette was unmistakable.

In shock, Shinya leaned against the wall with his back, breathing quickly in and out while he looked around in panic. He so did not feel to open the door. A hundred thoughts crossed his mind how to evade him but it seemed impossible, now that the priest must have seen the house illuminated.

The doorbell rang a second time and it took Shinya's whole courage to open it.

“Hello.” Was all Shinya was able to say.

And 'Hello' was the same blunt reply he got. It was the way Die stood there: His face, body language and his typical beam were amiss. And Shinya hated himself for it because he felt responsible. Why was it so hard to say _I'm sorry_? So he continued the 'cold' conversation.

“If you want to speak to my parents they are currently not at home.”

“Actually I'm here because of you.” And the tone how he said it was not pleasant at all. Shinya tried not to meet his eyes. “Do you want to discuss everything at the door?” Die went further on and the young man stepped aside and he let the priest in. Die didn't enter the house and remained standing behind the door while Shinya was much too occupied studying the floor's texture.

The young man gasped a few times before actually a tone came out. “I-I know it was not right... my behavior and-and me yelling at you... but I was so... so hurt because of this conspiracy and-”

Heavy steps echoed over the wooden floor... Shinya closed his eyes, afraid of what was about to come. “I know that my behavior is punishable by the law and-” But Shinya couldn't end his sentence when he felt his chin being lifted and warm lips sealing his trembling mouth. Shinya stood frozen on his spot and widened his eyes in shock. A warm hand on his nape softly pulled him closer and he closed his eyes in reflex when Die kissed him again, more demanding, more intense. Shinya softly kissed him back and hearing Die breathing in and out between their kiss made him loose all logic. Die's cold hands dig into Shinya's hair and it fell down all loose over his arms. Shinya gasped in between their kiss when he felt Die teasing him with his tongue... he was scandalously perfect in kissing and Shinya felt close to loose all of his good-will. He moved back and placed his hands over Die's chest.

“Die, we have to stop!”

“I'm afraid I can't...” He whispered against Shinya's mouth and steadied the younger man with one arm around his waist while he kissed him again. The tender hands on Die's chest became weak.

“My parents, it's dangerous-” A mere gasp in between and Die only stopped to look very deeply at Shinya. “I know but I can't control it. Everything is gone: My good-will, my control and my sense of responsibility.”

Shinya looked in wonder at Die. “I don't understand-”

“I love you. I've fallen in love with you. From the first moment I set eyes on you. There is not a minute nor a day or night I wouldn't think of you.”

It made the young man speechless. He couldn't believe his ears but Die's eyes looked so sincere at him. And all doubts and hurt feelings from previous times had vanished behind those sweet but simple words. Shinya bit his lips and he turned his gaze down. His arms trembled and he steadied himself at Die's arms.

“How can you be so wonderful when I behaved like a monster?”

Die grinned at Shinya. “You were never a monster. Everything you are only fascinated me more.”

Shinya looked back with eyes so full of emotions. He touched Die's cheek and shook his head. “It's impossible.” He said with tears in his eyes.

“I know.” Die breathed against Shinya's palm and kissed it. Shinya looked around in panic and his body tensed. “Die, we really have to stop.” The priest smiled and he pulled Shinya close to himself. “And now, tell me again...” He trailed off and kissed the young man behind his ear. Shinya's breath stopped and he slightly moaned by the touch of this sensitive spot. His voice had left him and Die smiled. He kissed him again but in the middle of it he really stopped and pulled back.

“You're right. I should go.”

Shinya's face gave him away but his voice answered collected. “I think so.” The priest walked over to the entrance door but he turned around one last time... and the sight he got was more seducing than anything else he had ever experienced. Shinya, looked sheepishly at his feet while his cheeks glowed red... he was so fragile and beautiful.

Yet he opened the door and the feeling of separation already hurt him.

“Die!”

The priest turned around one last time.

“I don't want you to go.” Shinya whispered.

The young man didn't end his sentence and winced when he heard the door closing. Strong arms picked him up with ease and carried him upstairs into his room. “Die! It's dangerous-” All this cheap excuses while Die placed his beauty carefully on his bed. He looked at Shinya so demanding but sweet, making his heart flutter. Die's face was so handsome, his voice and behavior too sweet. But......  
  
The young man moved away from underneath Die and stood up. He walked over to the door...

And turned around the key.

It was now or never. Why denying what they both wanted? Because of church? Shinya stood with his back turned towards Die. No one said a word but Shinya felt him standing behind him, his body heat warming Shinya's back. Die's large but beautiful hands glided up Shinya's arms and he titled Shinya's head aside, combing the auburn long hair to the front. He kissed down behind the petite man's ear all the way to his spine.... it sent shivers through Shinya's body.

“Die....” Shinya moaned with half-closed eyes. “... you're not supposed to have intimate contact...” Die stopped and spoke from behind at his ear. “I know.... but because of you I will change everything in my life.”

It was the first time for Shinya being intimate with someone else. His heart raced wildly in his chest when he felt Die close to him, his naked chest touching Shinya's bare shoulders, his heat surrounding him.

Shinya suddenly realized how young he really was. What he might had missed all this years, what his mind, his heart might have craved for.... this heat, contact, passion.... It was the way Die guided him over to his bed, the way he made him feel like being the most beautiful human on earth.... he touched him tenderly, almost with awe... hesitating in every new step he took. None of them too sure what to do but guided by pure instinct, their bodies entwined in their heat, moans and sighs the only way of communication.  
  
What society and church forbade felt all so right and true to them. Feeling Die's weight on his naked body, tasting his lips while his hands almost skilled took care of the rest. They were addicted to each other and the former idea of impossible forgotten. The mere act proved to be crude but was made into something holy because it was _him_.... he who filled him up, who drove the young man crazy by his movements and his heat, his touches and lips everywhere. The sweet cries in pain and pleasure, giving away the young man's virginity but the turned innocence revealed his need by the scratches on Die's back. And he would carry those marks with pride underneath the black robe which would prove to be impossible to uphold. Because of him. All for him.

This was how it was supposed to be. To feel each other without the boundaries of physics but on another level.

He was still inside Shinya when he lowered his head onto the younger man's neck and buried his face underneath his ear.

It was then when Shinya told him that he loved him.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Sunday couldn't come fast enough. Shinya was close to burst out of happiness and had trouble to play his usual self in front of his parents. But he was so in love.... he saw it when he looked at himself in the mirror, his mind drifted off when he combed his hair, when he ate and drank... he was hopelessly robbed of his senses. And the matter that Die was a man had never troubled him and never would. This person he came to miss like his shadow felt too good to be true. A person who understood and took him how he was and felt.

When Shinya saw the church in the distance his heart started to beat like mad. Together with his parents and many other villagers he would have to _share_ Die today. The night before he tried to come up with ideas about how to steal a few moments with Die alone but the only thing he could think of was taking an innocent walk over the meadows, best alone and without his parents getting suspicious.

“... and you will need new clothes for your journey with your father.” His mother constantly tried to remind Shinya about the upcoming journey this summer and everytime she reminded him a stab into his heart brought him back to reality. “And maybe a new haircut. That long hair of yours is long gone for men-”

“NO! Anything but not the hair!” Shinya contradicted while his mother came up with another fabulous ideas on how to change her boring son into a womanizer. At some point, Shinya simply ignored her as his attention was long elsewhere.

Their new gorgeous priest, at the church's portals and greeting every visitor in person.... soon it was their turn to be greeted with a handshake... he looked so different with his black cloak on. Shinya blushed by the mere thought how Die looked like when he was with him a few nights before.

Then it was Shinya's turn and he felt that Die kept on looking at him even before the person in front of him was hardly gone.

A handshake.... he touched Shinya's cold hands with both of his.... “Good morning, nice to see you.” His look intense for a short moment.

“My pleasure.” Shinya answered with a smile and while he pulled his hands back, he slipped a tiny paper note into Die's hands. It was bold but necessary. Die's collected face slipped for a tiny second but he went on greeting the other visitors normally.

The note in his hands told him about the route Shinya would take for a walk, outside the village, near the forest. Shinya hoped that Die had the chance to follow him at some point.

The mass lasted over one and a half hours. Miraculously, Shinya had no problems to fight his tiredness as Die was just too interesting to observe... he was a man who moved elegantly but certain. His hands were beautiful but Shinya knew that before and there was something in his voice which made everybody paying attention. He loved listening to Die's voice. His voice sounded so sexy on this night and his hands... Dirty thoughts on a Sunday morning were no option for a well brought up young Gentleman like Shinya.

They waited in a row to get out of church again. Now or never it was the best time to inform his mother about his ' _talking a walk_ '-plans.

“Mom, would you mind if I have a walk over the meadows on my own? I need some time for myself…”

His mother looked astonished. “Oh really? And I would have loved to join you…” Cold sweat as a sign of sudden panic, Shinya hated it. But it was his father who rescued him out of the situation. He threw a glare to his wife, making it perfectly clear that he had no motivation to go on a walk whatsoever.

“Very well then. Come back soon and take care.” His mother said and Shinya nodded obediently.

Then it was their turn to say good bye to the Priest on the churches’ doors. First his parents shaking hands and then Shinya's. With his eyes he tried to show Die that he would wait in the garden. The priest slightly nodded and thanked him for his visit.

With his parents finally gone and waiting another half an hour next to the Angel statue in the gardens behind church, Die finally showed up. He looked stressed out but nevertheless he smiled when he saw Shinya waiting for him. Slowly he entered the garden and by his body language Shinya could tell that he kept on playing his role as well-behaved priest. So no hugs or stormy kisses on the property.

“Are you free later on?” Shinya almost whispered.

Die looked back over his shoulders, making sure that no one had followed.

“I can't tell. My uncle had returned and there are things to be done....”

Shinya's face dropped and Die knitted his eyebrows seeing him like that. “I will try to hurry. Can you give me two hours?”

“I can.”

“Return home when the time is up.”

A melancholic nod from Shinya but Die couldn't just leave him like that... another quick look over his shoulder, then he stretched out his hand and took Shinya's hand. Only for a moment he squeezed it tightly, his eyes saying a thousand words and then he turned around and left the garden.

When Die had returned into church, his uncle, priest Graham, already waited there for him. Scolding him for being late he told him about all possible chords which had to be done and Die, slightly over-motivated, started right away.

Shinya was long gone. He left through the back entrance of the gardens and was on his way over the meadows up to the forest. He walked a little bit until he had arrived at the promised spot and he settled down into the grass. Another one and a half hours until he would maybe be able to see his beloved again. Absentminded, Shinya pulled out some grass and his mind wandered off, thinking about many things.... _Was this how their future meetings were supposed to be? No honest word in public? Being acquaintances for the rest of their lifes?_ They had to. Loving the same sex was highly forbidden by law and even more by church. Anybody finding out about it, it could cost their lifes.

Now Shinya slowly realized why Die behaved so cold in the gardens... maybe he would end their little _tét a tét_ anyway. Now with his uncle back in town, the Inquisition and law everywhere... It would be madness, for both of them but the mere thought of never touching, talking to Die in that manner nearly killed him.

Little stones and sticks became Shinya's companions and he counted the hours by the ring of the church bells. After another half an hour he decided to leave. Die was already late and Shinya tried to ignore the coldness hours ago.

He walked back to the village, feeling empty and disappointed. He so wanted to feel Die today, to kiss him, talk to him... he yearned for him, always would.

At the same time Die tried to get his things done in high speed but he was already too late and he knew that. Hope kept him moving and when he finally ran over the meadows, reaching the forest he realized that no one was there. He was hurt and sad too and slumped his shoulders. Breathing heavily in and out he walked over to the promised spot anyway and found grass pressed down where someone must have been sitting. He took a closer look and couldn't believe his eyes when he saw a heart in the grass made out of sticks and stones. Die shook his head and smiled sadly at himself.

He bent down and added a little heart next to it.

Deeply sunken in his thoughts, Die walked back and hold his new rosary in his hands, playing with its little beads. Similar thoughts like Shinya had before crossed his mind but all this thinking left him with no clue either. He knew how dangerous their relationship was but leaving Shinya was absolutely no option either. Die couldn't even grasp that thought. He belonged to him.

And about Shinya's father's plans of taking him with him on this business trip in about three months... it was a painful thought. Even more painful knowing that he would in all probability return engaged.

Die settled down on a little bench in front of the Angel statue and he closed his eyes. He hold his rosary tightly in his hands and murmured a prayer. He was almost done when a loud, unknown voice spoke up, almost startling him to death.

“PAH!” Die looked at where the voice came from and couldn't believe his eyes. “Sure, go on praying to _him_ …” A blasphemous statement followed with a smirk.

_Who was he?_ Die had stopped with his prayers immediately and moved up from the bench, holding the rosary close to his chest. The person in front of him leaned against the Angel statue... he looked like a man but the aura extending from him was powerful and somehow it felt like not belonging into this world. Not to mention the strange clothes...

The creature all of a sudden laughed.

“Please, I'm no creature.”

“Excuse me?!” How come that he knew what Die was thinking? “Who are you? Why are you here?”

“So many questions....” He smiled. “Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you. You must know that I know everything about you.”

Die was shocked. That was the end.

“I already told you that I won't hurt you.” With a charismatic smile the unknown person moved away from the Angel statue and only now Die saw his long hair swaying with every step he made.... he certainly had something _inhuman_ , this stranger. Die hold his rosary even closer but all the stranger did was smiling sarcastically.

“You think that would help?” He stopped in front of Die. He was two heads taller than Die and his eyes in a very bright blue color, his skin was as white as snow. The stranger stretched out his arm, waiting for Die to do the same. “Don’t you say _hello_ like this?”

“Not to strangers.” Die looked with a furrowed forehead up at the stranger who breathed out loud annoyed.  
  
“You are so suspicious! Always have been...”

“What do you mean?”

“We know each other, although you can't recall it here on earth.”

What in God's name did he talk about?

“I'm your Guardian Angel... well from today on former Guardian Angel that is.”

“Wha-? Yes, sure. I understand.” Then he paused for a moment, realization set in. “Oh my God.” If a priceless stupid facial expressions received a price, Die would definitely deserve it. With all due respect it was unbelievable and the Angel in front of him laughed.

“Not so loud! People could hear us!” Die said in panic. He was the last one who wanted to get caught with a looney in the churches garden.

“No one can hear me because only you can see me.... but listen, I don't have much time to chat. In fact I'm not even allowed to show myself to you but since I'm breaking all the rules anyway....”

Die paid attention as this started to get interesting no matter how crazy it sounded. “Did you come here to tell me something important?”

“Well, not really.”

“WHAT?! So you just came here to chat?!”

“No, of course not. I just wanted to tell you a few things before it means good bye for me.”

“It's about Shinya, am I right?”

“Your precious, little Shinya... a damn hot babe no matter what century he lifes in.”

Die looked in disbelieve back at the Angel who continued. “It was only a question of time until the both of you found each other again.”

“Again? What do you-“

“Come on, you know it and he knows it as well. He’s your soul-mate, your partner through all eternity. It is your and his destiny to find each other in every reborn life again. Don’t tell me you didn’t know... _priest_?” A sarcastic smile again, specialty of him.

“Well, it is too much of a romantic fairy tale-thought…”

“See, you are thinking too much like always. That's one thing I always wanted to tell you: Listen to your heart, your intuition and....” He made a thinking face. “I wanted to tell you so much more but forgot most of it. You see, they took my angelic powers away so I decided to tell you the last things I have _seen_ for you…”

“What do you mean with _having seen_?”

“As a Guardian Angel until a certain point we can look into the future of our protégé... you know to help them and stuff. Sometimes we tell them in an unconscious state but here I am: All lively and in person.”

“Okay.” Die said kind of uneasy. Trying to ignore the fact from the bible that it was forbidden to do fortune-telling or anything compared to that.

“Pay attention and don't be scared…” The Angel lifted his long, slender fingers and he took Dies head in between his hands. The Angel closed his eyes and concentrated, trying to transmit something but it didn't work. He lowered his hands and balled his fists while he looked up into heaven and started to shout: “ _You’_ re taking everything from me, don’t you?! _You_ never really loved me, never!!!”

Surprised by the sudden outburst, Die looked around again if really no one heard the Angel screaming.

“Then the old fashioned way...” He looked back at Die. “I have to tell you instead of transmitting visions. Now listen: It is you who helps Shinya out of the misery with an idea.” He paused and Die waited patiently while the Angel closed his eyes and tried to remember. “My memories are incomplete, non-challant memories....”

“Important for me?” Die wanted to know, he became curious.

"For your ego maybe.... Shinya loves your smile and your hair...”

A smile crept over Die's face.

“And people in this village like you and your masses but be careful: Not all are to be trusted. It is best not to trust anybody understand?”

Die nodded

“And remember: You have to help Shinya with an idea.”

“Thank you for your advise.”

The Angel nodded and stepped back from Die. He looked at his protégé very intense for a moment.

“You are a sight of man, maybe you don’t realize it. Why did you become a priest anyway? Life could be so much fun Daisuke... well, anyway. Make the best of it as physical pleasures don't exist in heaven.”

“You're an Angel! You are not supposed to say this!”

“Who said that I am an Angel any longer?”

Die was shocked. “So-so you… you are a demon! Gods creatures would have never been allowed to look into the future either!”

“Ah! Don’t bore me with that childish ideas of church! In fact you guys have NO IDEA what’s really going on.” He paused but continued after a moment. “Believe me when I tell you that I was your Guardian Angel and I enjoyed it. But now we both have to move on.”

“Wait! Why are you going? Does that mean I have no Guardian Angel anymore?”

“I can't tell you what will happen after I've left but God always has a plan. Good people working in the name of God always get rewarded in heaven.” A warm smile from the Angel. He sighed. “I wanted to meet you this last time in person and I'm glad I was able to.”

“Where are you going to?” Die asked.

“Honestly, I don't know.” He looked around and his gaze stuck at the Angel statue. “Nice statue by the way. It was my inspiration I gave you and you got it... anyway!” He made motions to leave.

“Angel, you haven’t told me your name yet!”

“For chriss sake, you don't even recall my name? I'm the infamous Sugizo... but Angels call me Lucifer, the Angel who was most beautiful and most loved by God and expelled by the same one because I loved myself to much, or at least he said so....” He rolled his eyes. “Fare well, Daisuke and good luck!”

“Thank you! And I guess... good luck to you too!”

And with a stroke of wind the Angel had disappeared.

The priest felt how something around his wrist was undone and his rosary slipped down to the ground. The threat was broken and all the little pearls fell down into the grass. Die knelled down to collect the pearls but when he looked for the crucifix he couldn't find it.

It was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 12 / 4 of 5

 

_The last life on earth_

 

The Die and Shinya-Chapters

 

 

 

Things in their little, catholic town became strange. Not through any actions or talking but there was just something in the air that tasted bitter. The council people from their village knew it and Die and his Uncle knew it as well: Highly important visit from Rome had arrived together with priest Graham some days ago. If it was the Inquisition, Die didn't know but anything from Rome meant trouble and these old men really didn't look like being on vacation.

What got Die's attention on this normal weekday was his uncle walking stressful through the parish, obviously looking for something. The old man searched every room and returned later with some heavy books under his arms.

The visit of these old men with red robes followed the same day. Stern and loud voices could be heard inside priest Graham's little office. The talking and instructions lasted almost an hour. Die almost forgot about them while he attended his own business but he was called into his uncle's office immediately afterwards.

“Daisuke, have a seat.” His uncle offered and Die noticed that his face looked tired. The heavy, black leather bounded books in front of his desk were randomly opened.

“Uncle?” Die had to remind him that he was there. Sunken in thoughts the old priest Graham shook his head.

“I'm sorry, I'm just a little tired these days....”

“This men...” Die wanted to know.

“Oh yes, these men.... they were really sent from Rome and will be traveling the country the following weeks.”

And it was his tone that told Die that something was about to change.

“So it was the Inquisition.”

“Descendants of it... which means we have a lot to do.” Priest Graham pointed at the books with his chin. “You certainly know that church is on its peak on the hunt of disbeliever. Any suspicious disbeliever, black magicians and witches must be brought forward to court and this is where our job starts....”

The mere thought of supporting this hunt-madness gave Die a paralyzed feeling from head to toe.

“Us servants of holy church...”

Die wanted to shout in that he was a servant of God but he remained silent.

“... have to observe every citizen in this village and write down any suspicious action, remarks or behavior. And every suspicious person must be brought into court for a personal hearing.”

It was not only close to madness but almost impossible. He and his uncle observing a whole village and making reports to Rome? Die tried to work on that information. He opened his mouth several times before he really knew what he was asking. “And how are we supposed to observe all these people?”

“Soon the two of us have to visit each house in the village and write reports about each family. But it is strictly forbidden to tell them about the Inquisition's plans.... we will tell them that it's just a security control.”

So at least the mission was clear: The church wanted to see blood. And they made Die and his uncle their servants. Servants of madness and Die wasn't so sure if he was able to stand it. He felt helpless and trapped in something he had no control over. And it scared him.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Shinya jolted in his sleep when he heard something scratching on his window in the middle of the night. He was scared to death and it took him another few minutes before he was brave enough to reach over to his little table to lit the candle. With Die's rosary close to his chest he walked bravely over to his window and jolted when a clear knock came from his window frame. With one fast movement he pulled the curtain away and found Die's face looking back at him in surprise.

“Die!“ Shinya mouthed and opened his window. He helped him inside his room, wondering how the priest could possibly climb that tree next to his window in the middle of the night.

And he hold him tight. Die embraced Shinya with trembling arms and the coldness from the night extended from Die's cloak to Shinya's pajama. The young man felt Die's distress immediately and he cared over Die's back, simply hugging him back.

“Die, what-”

But his words were cut off by a long kiss, cold lips that touched him and took him every ability to talk. Shinya moaned sweetly into Die's kiss and hold onto his cloak tightly. Die gasped and slowly pulled back but only to lean with his forehead against Shinya's. The young man looked back at Die but could hardly see him through the little candle light.

“I missed you.” Die started to whisper. “I'm sorry I couldn't make it the other day to the forest. I was too late but I found your little heart in the grass.”

Shinya, still sleepy though, recalled what Die meant and he simply kissed him onto his cheek before he rested with his slender hand on his face. “I will always wait for you.”

Die took Shinya's hand and kissed it... but there was a strange feeling swinging with it.

“Die, what happened? You seem strange today....”

The older man kept on holding Shinya's hand but didn't look him in the eyes. He cared over the soft skin with his thumb, not finding the words.

Shinya had enough. At first he peeled Die out of his cloak before he made him sit on his bed. He took Die's hand again and waited for him to start. But there was too much going on and Die didn't know where to begin with. He decided not to tell Shinya about the encounter with his former Guardian Angel as it seemed still too crazy to himself and now the whole observation from church added to that... he had to warn Shinya.

“You know,” Die looked around the hardly lit room like searching for words, “these days I'm not entirely sure whether I want to serve such kind of church any longer.”

Shinya was shocked. “What are you talking about?”

“Shinya, it's getting dangerous. The Inquisition is in town and they ordered us to observe every citizen and report every strange behavior to them. Do you understand? This is madness! They ordered us to betray our own people, sentence them to death! I can't do that! I... I want to serve a God who is merciful and just, not blood-thirsty and frightening!”

“These are grave news...” Shinya stammered to himself and he knew that they both knew what that meant for them. Even less interaction that before. No more secret messages, gazes and smiles.

“Shinya,” Die turned his whole attention to him and took both of Shinya's hands, “let's run away.”

“What?! B-but how?.... When? And where to?”

“It doesn't matter. I want you, us, out of this madness. Let's start all over somewhere far away where church can't reach us... where you father can't reach you.” Die referred to Shinya's future engagement.

It was tempting but dangerous. Without his family's support and money, Shinya was basically poor and without means. “And how do we earn money?”

“I could work in an orphanage or in agriculture, anything but I couldn't work as a priest any longer, that's for sure. Once I escaped, church could find me anytime, everywhere. Shinya, I will try everything to build up our own home far away.”

Die had made up his mind. With a steady look he searched for Shinya's eyes but the young man played helplessly with Die's fingers. “And when?”

“As soon as you're ready.”

The thought was tempting but risky. The young man pulled his naked feet up into his bed and let go of Die's hands. Insecure, Shinya reached with his arms around his knees and rested with his chin on them. He narrowed his eyes and looked back at Die who observed the young man patiently. “And your answer?”

“How much money do you have?”

Die jumped up and hugged Shinya tightly. For him it was an answer. Startled by the sudden attack, Shinya fell backwards into his bed while Die leaned over him and kissed him all over his face.

“Die! Until now I didn't say yes!”

“Yes you did.” Another kiss on his cheek. “You won't regret it.”

“You're helpless-”

“In love with you, I know.” Followed by a kiss onto Shinya's mouth. The young man gasped by the increasing heat in their kiss and Die's touches. His body showed well enough that he wanted Die as well but...

“Die...” Shinya moaned while his beloved moved down his neck. “We have to plan this. Can you leave at short notice?”

Die stopped and moved back from Shinya, although he lay beautifully flustered underneath him. “I will. Why?”

“We will need money. Travel expenses, food..... Let me gather all the money I can get and then let's escape during the night.... But where to?”

“We should cross the sea. Maybe north Europe. Anywhere the next ship could take us to.”

It sounded crazy to both of them but Shinya knew that Die was right. With Die at his side he felt safe. Die used to travel through countries before so he had some experience and besides he was a realistic person. Yes, with him Shinya would go anywhere. He would life anywhere as long as it was at Die's side.

“All right, let's do it.” Shinya agreed. “Until next Sunday I will try to gather as much money as possible. Then in church I will slip you a note and you will give me some details about the escape. What do you think?”

“Agreed.” Die nodded and stood up from Shinya's bed. The young man was a little disappointed when he saw Die walking over to the armchair where his cloak was. So he would leave... just like that.

Die turned around and although there was hardly any light he knew how Shinya's sulking face must have looked like. But instead of putting his cloak on, he took his shirt off and tossed it over the armchair as well. Slowly he made his way back and lowered himself over Shinya's delicate body again. The young man lay down onto his mattress, giving Die the space he needed and he smiled jubilantly at himself.

“Did you think I could leave you like that?”

“Maybe.... But I would have done my best to _persuade_ you otherwise...”

And Shinya's giggles turned into a sweet moan when he felt a large, warm hand reaching underneath his pajama.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

From the outside, Shinya always seemed like a calm person but the following days he felt more and more like a wreck. The whole escape-plan was a heavy burden, not only on his shoulders and naturally he thought about nothing else. A million thoughts about what could go wrong and what to do. He tried to keep himself calm but every time somebody looked at him, Shinya thought the person knew. That he gave away their little secret with a clumsy look, a wrong word... his nerves were really wearing thin.

With shaking hands he hold onto the little message he had written for Die. He literally slept on it the day until Sunday and now, standing in front of the church, the huge gray building towering over him, Shinya had slight doubts. Was it such a good idea to run away? From the warm, comfortable house he grew up in? But he recalled Die's words, the observation from the Inquisition even coming into their private houses... everything became more dangerous, especially for _extraordinary_ people.

His hands were cold and shaky when Die touched them for the usual greeting at the church's portal. A sorrowful look into Shinya's eyes before the moment was over. The message slipped into the older man's hand with skill.... the message said to meet him in the garden one hour after the mass was over.

Shinya listened to the mass only because he loved the voice of _him_ so much. There was no meaning behind those words, only his voice in his head, next to the escape plan Shinya replayed over and over in front of his inner eyes.

He had packed earlier this morning. He knew where he would steal the money in his house from. Tonight, Shinya wanted to run away together with Die. Another excuse to his parents before he said good-bye.... _Taking a walk in the forests, meeting them later at home_.... with the knowledge that he might not see them again in case they are out until late themselves.

Maybe these were the last steps he took on his beloved walk around the forest... _one hour could be so long_... Shinya arrived ahead of schedule in the garden behind church. He waited impatiently on the stone bench, trying to look as nonchalant as possible, trying to enjoy his free time, just for the protocol in case anybody watched.

The jolt when he heard _him_ calling his name.

“You are early.” Die said low.

“I'm nervous.” Was all Shinya could reply.

“I know, I felt your hand before...” Die said with sorrow in his voice. He so wanted to touch him, console him. “What is it you wanted to say?”

The look in Shinya's eyes became sincere. “I've got my things packed, I can leave right away. And I know where I can get some money from. Tonight would be good. And you?”

A moment of silence changed into a serious nod. “Me too. Let's do it tonight.”

“What time?”

“In the middle of the night. I'll get you at 3 am.”

“I'll prepare the little carriage with my horse.”

“Very well.” Die looked over his shoulder. “Tonight then.”

A nod from Shinya and Die left after he stole one more glance of him. The younger man left the garden minutes afterwards, just to not arise suspicion. The wind played with his long auburn hair and his hands started to get cold. He reached inside his coat pockets but his gloves were missing. One moment of realization that he must have left them again on the church bench. Shinya walked out of the garden and back into church. Usually people from church tidy up after the mass, so the doors were still opened.

With swift steps, the young man approached the bench he used to sit in. And he really found the white gloves on his usual seat. Shinya put them into his pocket on his way out but just before he passed the dark confession cabins, he felt how someone pulled him back into the shadow.

Shinya nearly got a heart attack and was even more shocked when he felt someone kissing him deeply and with pure need. It didn't take him long to figure out who had observed him from the shadows. Shinya smiled against his mouth and every time he wanted to pull away from this seducing lips, these hands, he simply pulled him back.

“Die,” he whispered, “we have to-”

No use. Maybe it was the danger which tasted so sweet. One last kiss before Shinya pulled forcefully away. One touch of Die's handsome face before he turned around and left.

Shinya walked out of the church. It was then that the old priest Graham stood on his window in the opposite house and he observed surprised the young man leaving... it was the look on Shinya's face, his dreamy eyes and the slightly flushed cheeks.... But when he saw Die leaving the church as well, although with a compared face, he counted one and one together and couldn’t believe what his eyes, his human instinct screamed to him. He was deeply shocked.

And it was the look on his uncle's face which Die saw when he looked up at the window.  
It sent shivers down his spine and his mouth became dry.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The hours until night only passed slowly. Painfully slowly. Shinya felt like going crazy each minute which didn't want to pass.

He saw his parents at supper one last time before he said good night and went into his room. No regrets with the idea in mind to share the rest of his life with the person he loved. Although Shinya felt kind of sad by the thought of never seeing his mother again. Thinking about her now from another point of view showed him that he really was the daughter his mother always wanted to have but never received. Shinya used to be with his mother most of the time.

He would miss her.

Walking up and down his room changed into forcefully reading and waiting in between. Tonight Shinya would leave the house through his window, climbing down 'Die's tree'. Simply because it was too risky to leave the house through the front door.

And Shinya was glad when he made it down the tree without breaking his neck. He collected his bag which he had thrown into the grass before and ran over the meadow to the horse stable. Leila, his horse, breathed out loud when it heard Shinya talking to him.

Shinya jolted when he felt a hand on his shoulder and he embraced the person who came out of the shadows.

“Die! Are you all right?”

The silence between the answer lasted too long. “Die? What-?”

“Shinya, listen very carefully now.”

The young man hold tightly onto Die's arms to keep himself steady. Instincts told him that he would be shocked very soon.

“This midday when you left church I saw my uncle observing us through the window and he knows it. By the look on his face, Shinya, he knows!”

The young man was speechless. “Even more reason to leave as quick as possible!”

Die shook his head. “You don't understand. Leaving together with you would confirm his assumptions.... It's easier to find two runaways but one-”

Shinya shook his head in shock. He had an inkling what Die was referring to. “No, NO! I can't leave without you! I-!”

“I can't leave Shinya. Not to endanger you. Maybe they would never guess that you left because of me but the two of us together.... the whole Inquisition would be alarmed now that he saw us!”

“But-but if he knows, then you are in danger as well!”

Die placed one finger over Shinya's lips. “You have to leave as quick as possible. I'm a servant of God, you are in far more danger than I am.”

It was too much to take and tears spilled down Shinya's cheek. Silent cries which broke Die's heart. He cared over Shinya's cheek but pulled him into a firm embrace when the little touch was not enough.

“Listen Shinya, I've got a plan on how to hide you. You are my perfect Lady and Ladies often seek sanctuary in convents. Travel north, as far as possible and disguise yourself as a woman. Get into a convent for women and live the life of a nun. In three weeks from today on we will meet at the north harbor and take the first ship in the morning over the sea. Did you understand?”

Die moved back and he looked at Shinya who nodded at him absentminded. Die repeated his last sentence. “Three weeks from today in the early morning at the harbor. I will be there.”

Shinya nodded while Die took Shinya's baggage and knot it onto Leila's saddle.

“You must ride fast and don't look back. Get yourself another name and sell your horse on half of the track.”

It was all too much to take. Shinya broke into tears which made it only harder for Die to say good bye. He pulled the young man into a tight embrace and cared over his hair. Die continued.

“It's a four days ride up to the north. Ride fast for the two of us. I know that you can do it.”

A nod. Die grabbed Shinya around his waist and lifted him up his saddle. The petite man climbed onto his horse and took the reins.

“This is not good bye.” Die said.

“I know.” Shinya sniffed and adjusted himself on the saddle. He still couldn’t realize what was going to happen.

“I must go.” Die said and looked around insecure before he leaned against the saddle and pulled on the young man's collar to kiss him one last time. The thought of letting go too painful, too surreal to believe... they kissed like never meeting again.

“Okay, go.” Die pulled back suddenly. He had to before they both decided otherwise. Shinya took the reins and outside the stable he commanded his horse to ride as quick as possible.

Soon the young man had vanished into the night. Die watched him until he couldn't hear or see him no more. And Shinya did as Die had told him: He didn't look back. Not even at Die.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Shinya always thought that he was used to travel. He used to visit foreign towns with his parents before but after the three day long ride on his horse he felt how strange everything was. Although people used to speak the same language, Shinya felt completely out of place. And although he hated to admit it, he was homesick. Riding all day long, sleeping and eating at strange taverns proved to be quite hard. Soon Shinya realized that for this journey it would take all of his physical and mental strength.

He avoided any contact to strangers, traveled with a wrong name and soon the petite young man had vanished behind his long, wet coat and the smell of dirt and horse.

Shinya thought about Die every moment, every second. That he did that for them. But he didn't dare to picture the colorful future until they would meet up again.... He only hoped that Die was all right. That no one got suspicious or hurt anyone of his family. Although his thoughts were only scarcely about his family. He loved them, sure, but they would never understand.

Shinya jumped down his horse and landed in a puddle. It was already dark outside when he entered the tavern and ordered some employee to look after his horse.

The next morning he would sell Leila.

Still with his cloak and hood on, Shinya walked to the back of the tavern without noticing that someone at the bar observed him. Even underneath these rags there was beauty shining from Shinya and this stranger knew it better than anybody else.

It was a crude place with even more indecent people. Loud, filthy and disgusting in their behavior. Shinya payed for a single bedroom right away and left the bar for his bedroom.

The stranger who hid underneath a cloak and hood, smiled at himself. He hold the beer he had ordered in his hand but not to drink, it was mere disguise. He knew that the petite man would arrive here. He also knew where he was going to the next day... he was everywhere Shinya went to but not to mean him any harm. He observed him, looked after him.

The stranger came from a far away place. It was a _royal palais_ how he used to tell humans but completely different how they imagined it. Soon, very soon...

The smile on his lips vanished and he left the tavern. The cold night wind played with his cloak and long, blonde locks of golden hair showed underneath his hood.

The next day Shinya had sold his horse. He exchanged it for a smaller one and took the rest of value in cash.... not to mention that it broke his heart. He knew Leila half his life and Shinya felt so heavy with grief thinking about her..... he hated saying good bye which happened way too much these days. But Die was right. It was saver to travel with a strange horse in case anybody would search for him.

Shinya rode a very long time until he reached the next bigger village with shopping possibilities. With the little cash he had received earlier Shinya bought simple but neat women clothes. How he had wished for an opportunity to wear beautiful, feminine clothes and now the chance was there but under worst circumstances. Out on the countryside next to a forest, Shinya changed into these women clothes and buried his old ones, just in case.

He wore a neat blouse and skirt, modest and not too fashionable. With a large scarf around his shoulders he hid his flat chest and with a hair pin he pinned up his hair.

Because later that day Shinya would arrive at the convent where he would try to get into.


	13. Chapter 13

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 13 / 5 of 5

 

_The last life on earth_

 

The Die and Shinya-Chapters

 

 

 

Even from afar the convent seemed gray and little. The first inner urge Shinya felt when seeing it was to run. He would have never dared dreaming of entering a convent one day but this time and under this circumstances it was necessary. To hide, to span the time until he would be able to reunite with Die again to run away.

The responsible convent's nun scolded and screamed before she had even opened the convent's gate. It took all of Shinya's acting talent to convince her that he was 'a girl in need', with no home and in search of God. As a thank you gift Shinya offered his horse and with a few more scolds she accepted the gift and finally allowed Shinya to stay.

Voluntarily, Shinya would have never sold himself to such a mean old hag like the responsible nun was. Not to mention the sad, cold halls inside the convent. His room the same gray and cold space like his heart used to feel like these days.

He had to share the little room with another young nun called Luise.

She asked way too many questions and made remarks about his quite tall appearance. Shinya sweated, he had to hide his secret well for the next three weeks until he would escape at night to meet up with Die at the haven.

“I was always the tallest child.”

The young nun nodded and handed Shinya the nun's robe. He changed into it after she had left the room.

The following days, Luise was kind enough to show him around and explain the most important things. Life in the convent was praying and working, hardly any sleep or food. It was straining. Physically and mentally. Harder than behaving like a girl. Shinya found himself quite comfortable in playing the girl. Moving like one, speaking like one, observing the others around him and adopting to them... he made it his new hobby. A necessary one.

Two weeks had passed and things started to become routine. But every day the escape came closer and thinking about it at night made his heart beat faster. And when it became unbearable, he clutched his rosary with the tiny Angel and dreamed about his Love. Heard his voice, recalled his smile, his scent while he was so many miles away... the precious shared moments only imprints on his soul and the touches mere memories.

His body started to become more bony and the once shining eyes were heavy and dark with grief and tiredness. Even the young girl Louise was shocked about Shinya's appearance. His hair had lost its shine, hanging down to his shoulders and the red hands bore visibly marks from the hard kitchen work. Shinya felt that he started to become someone else, he changed and barely recognized himself. No more smiles, no happiness.

That was the time when the mills of God started to grind.

With highest priority, a letter arrived days later at the convent. The paper was of highest quality and so was its seal. The Inquisition had sent out circular letters over the whole country, spreading their madness in tracking down every suspicious person. Turning even innocent people into traitors. These days everybody sold out anybody unpleasant in their surroundings. And they looked for traitors and unmoral people everywhere. They even included lists of missing people with the letter.

Shinya didn't know anything about the letter. He learned about it when they pulled him out of bed in the middle of the night and pushed him down to the cold, stony ground of his room.

It came as a complete shock. Luise cried about the commotion but Shinya remained silent while his heart threatened to stop in shock. Immediately he knew that he was discovered.

  
He had better died that night.  
  
  
They turned him around and tore down his nightshirt. The evidence was clear when he lay in front of four strangers, semi-naked, his chest all bare.

“Take him away.” The oldest nun ordered the four men.

Shinya struggled, an impossible attend to get free but his consciousness left him abruptly when he felt a hard knock against the back of his head.

He awoke from the shaking of the carriage. His head hurt badly and his senses were still numb but what hurt most was the realization which slowly sickered in.... that he had failed.

He searched for failures, any mistakes on his behalf but Shinya had no idea how they came to suspect him. It didn't matter now, it was too late anyway. His body felt weak and drained of all the energy he had started his journey with. He was sleepy but couldn't find any rest. What about Die? Did he know? Did his parents know? Where did the carriage go to and even worse: What are they planning to do with him? Shinya sincerely prayed that Die was able to escape. That he knew about this madness before Shinya at the convent did and that he went up north before him... that he possibly stayed at the haven for next week.... and Shinya would never show up.  
  
The tears on his cheek felt hot against the cold skin. He had trouble to keep his balance in the carriage.

After a few nights of travel, the streets and trees the carriage passed looked painfully familiar. So they really brought the runaway home. Shinya so wished for them not to do so. He couldn’t stand the well-known faces, the gossip _.... his parents.... Die....._

With his hands bound behind his back, two men pulled him out of the carriage. The gray stone building in front of them was what Shinya had always feared most. The local court. They pulled and pushed him down the stairs.... right into the cellar to the prison cells. Shinya felt how blood rushed out of his head, cold sweat formed on his forehead... but he didn't allow himself to faint or to give in. He had made a vow to himself when he looked up the tall building: To never give up and keep his pride. Come what may.

The first shock came when Shinya saw almost all of the cells filled up. Men, women, even children... the hunt madness of church seemed beyond control. They walked to the end of the corridor, passing all those sad, mad and hungry faces. Crying, sobbing and despair filled the air. It felt like hell on earth, not to mention the smell. Most of the cells were filled up with several people.

The clattering of the keys hurt his sensitive ears like every noise in this cursed building.

One of the watchmen was busy fumbling with his keys and that was the moment when Shinya turned around in reflex. Within the splint of a second he made out something familiar. Without thinking about any consequences he pulled himself free from the other watchman and he ran to the cell two doors away from him.

“Die! DIE!”

Startled by the sudden voice, Die awoke from his daze and he moved forward to the prison bars, holding onto them with his hands. Shinya leaned with his face against Die's hands as his were still bound together on his back.... and Die looked as exhausted as Shinya did. Dark circled eyes, lost weight and sick. So he didn't run away either, why?

“I'm sorry Die, so sorry!”

Die kissed Shinya's forehead again and again, touched him through the bars. “It's not your fault.” He whispered with his sore throat. Not caring that anybody could see, not wondering about possible remarks. But their reunion was abruptly ended when one of the watchmen pulled Shinya back, tossing him into the cellar two doors away from Die. An older woman moved back when Shinya landed hard on the floor.

“SHUT UP and behave!”

The door was soundly closed and the two men left the miserable place. After they were gone, Shinya walked back to the iron bars and he looked across the corridor into Die's cell. Their eyes met and it pained both of their hearts to see the other in the same, humiliating situation.

Shinya glided down to the ground and leaned against the bars. His eyes never left the cell where his love was imprisoned in. How much he wanted to touch him, to feel him all these weeks over and now even in the same room it was impossible for them to be reunited. It was cruel and hurt even more than the physical damages.

Die on the other side tried to smile. His face looked as hollow as Shinya's. The past days of struggle showed effects but it was his smile which said _'I don't regret anything.'_

A single tear rolled down Shinya's cheek and he wiped it off with his arm. It broke Die's heart and he whispered Shinya's name, followed by words only lovers would share.  
  
It was the hardest thing they could ever experience.

One night passed and the night on cold stone floors showed effects. People's cries for food, water and medication became unbearable, the stench inside the cells became unbearable too, the voices in despair music straight from hell.... death slowly seemed liked a welcomed change. Shinya's lungs hurt and his voice was deep and thick. Die on the other side of the corridor coughed almost the whole night and it ached Shinya's heart seeing him like this.  
It was then that more and more people vanished. Men from the court fetched them during the day and they never came back. People inside the cells, close to become insane whispered what everybody feared. _“They torture them and then they burn them alive.”_

Some people hushed them as it was too cruel for the youngest among them to hear but everybody _knew_ that it was right.

There was no more pain or fear, only shock which had covered Shinya fully with a dull curtain. He rocked back and forth, waiting for something he didn't dare to name.

When the door opened everybody jolted. Everybody afraid to be next but only one who welcomed it.  
Shinya looked up from his fetal position on the floor, straight into the face of the police man. And the moment he looked back at him he knew that they had come for them. Die's cell was opened at the same time. They both got pulled out of their cells but Shinya had trouble to stay on his feet.

“Die...” He murmured with the little voice he had left while they were pulled on their ropes behind the police men.... With bound hands Die and Shinya walked side by side down the corridor, out of the cellar. Die whispered to Shinya.

“If they threaten you, confess everything they want to hear from you. You must do anything not to get tortured-” Die's voice left him at the end of the sentence. It was the cruelest thing he ever had to say.

“As long as you are there I will be strong.”

“Me too.”

“I love you Die. Come what may.”

Die nodded and repeated the last sentence. As soon as they had left the cellar, voices from inside and outside the court echoed through the corridors. People must have come from all over the country to witness this madness. And it was even worse than anybody of them had ever expected. Well know faces among strangers, calling them names, waving with their fists and making unmistakably hand signs for them to die. The mob was well heated up and they wanted to see them burn, especially them because what Shinya didn't knew was that the whole village came to know about their 'relationship' which was highly forbidden in this age. Their case was a rare one and the court was filled with Inquisition, police, witnesses and the mob.

In front of the huge court room, the police man pulled Shinya inside but the other one stayed outside with Die.

“Die!” Shinya looked back at him but they already closed the door. So they would be questioned separately. Shinya's heart beat like mad. He looked around the filled up room, people where still shouting, whispering, laughing but one voice screamed hysterical from the front rows. Shinya turned around and saw his parents standing with the mob. His lips formed the word _mum_ and she hold her hands in front of her mouth while his father steadied her. She looked aged over night and his father tried to be strong for both of them.

In an instant Shinya felt sorry. Sorry for disappointing his parents so much, for being a failure and not the son they had deserved.... it broke Shinya's heart seeing them like that. They shouldn't witness what was about to come.

The policeman pushed Shinya down on a wooden bench in the middle of the room. Hundreds of eyes lay on him, it made him feel most uncomfortable. In front of him three higher seats behind high stands. The Inquisition hadn't arrive yet and through all the murmurs and voices Shinya heard his mother repeating his name over and over again. Shinya turned around slightly and his lips formed the words ' _I'm sorry'_ and _'I love you'._ His mother broke and his father had all trouble to hold her up.

It was then that the mob was silenced and the three prosecutors came in.

The room all of a sudden became darker and unbearable to stay in. Shinya balled his hands into fists, so hard that it hurt. He was so afraid and nervous like he had never felt before. At the same time he tried to calm himself down as he made a vow not to loose his pride.

Shinya was forced to stand up and he sat down when the three Inquisitors were seated. They looked at Shinya and back at each other, whispering and taking notes before the highest of them spoke up.

“TERACHI SHINYA! Stand up in the name of God!”

All eyes lay on him.... the moments in silence seemed to last forever.

“You stand before this court, accused of sodomy and witchcraft... how do you plead?!”

_Witchcraft_?! That was a first. Shinya widened his eyes in shock when he replied: “Not guilty!”

“So you deny that the devil made you seduce one of the holy church's servants?”

“There is no devil-”

“But there are witnesses...” The Inquisitor looked over to Priest Graham who nodded. “So did you seduce in the name of evil-!”

Shinya interrupted the mad talking about evil and the devil. “I always believed in God and in the power of Love! Love is never evil when it’s real!”

“Did you have intimate contact with a servant of church or not?!”

The crowd became silent and the burden weighed heavy on Shinya's shoulders. He couldn't possibly deny Die, cold he? But what do they know? No matter what he would say they simply DON'T want to believe it.

“Thank you very much.” The Inquisitor broke the quietness. “Silence is agreement. Take him away.”

Two policemen stepped closer to Shinya and held him on his arms. The young man started to struggle and screamed. “NO, NOOO! I'M INNOCENT!!”

The Inquisitor narrowed his eyes. “Then let me refresh your memories just for the accord: You don't only wear your hair long and dress like a woman, servants from church even found you in a convent for women! Only the devil knows what you’ve been doing in there!!! Not to mention the other sins you have committed in this village.... anything else to add? I thought so. TAKE HIM AWAY!!”

These were his last words and the policemen pulled Shinya out of the court. His mother from the crowd screamed his name, mixed with agitated voices from the mob, calling him all kind of names but Shinya stayed deaf for it.

It was the split of a second when men pulled Die into court and their eyes met in the corridor. Shinya's gaze was horrified while Die's eyes carried a certain haze. The life disappeared from his eyes a long time ago but the smile he forced onto his lips showed that he was somehow still alive.

The door closed and they made Shinya wait in the corridor on a wooden bench. Not far from a little window, absentminded he started to notice the most insignificant things... The beetle crawling up the window frame, the crows cawing outside and flying through the air, the wet grass and fog of the forest outside...

Then loud shouting from the court inside, made his heart jump. What Shinya didn't know was that they forced Die to confess everything because Shinya earlier didn't. He whimpered when the shouts became louder and nearly died of sorrow. He closed his eyes, rocked back and fort on his little bench and folded his hands, murmuring a prayer for both of them. The policemen a few meters away from him didn't pay any attention.

They jolted when the doors were pushed open with a loud noise, in silent agreement they pulled Shinya back into court, right to the front where Die lay sprawled on the floor. In horror, Shinya saw that they must have beaten him. His eyes started to water up and his hands were shaking.

They gave him a hard shove and Shinya landed right next to Die. Not caring about any possible remarks, Shinya grabbed for Die's hand and whispered his name. The mob and Inquisition reacted furious and with loud screams but Shinya didn't care. Die opened his eyes slowly and he nodded at him.

“C-confess....” He stammered but Shinya didn't really know what to do. Policemen started to pick him up from the ground again, making him loose Die's grip and they pushed him closer to the Inquisition. They made him kneel in front of them and the highest of them started to talk.

“You either confess all of your sins now, in this court, or we have to force both of you downstairs to the cellar.”

Which meant torture. Some men picked up Die from the ground and carried him back to the entrance door.... that was when Shinya shouted. “Stop! I confess! Anything! Anything you want me to hear!” His lips trembled and it was the hardest to swallow the tears and all this anger.

“Do you confess that you had sodomic intercourse with a servant of church?”

Shinya bit his lips really hard and he closed his eyes when he spoke out: “I confess.”

The shouts of the crowd were silenced by the Inquisitor. “And do you confess that you made a pact with the devil and practiced witchcraft to seduce an innocent servant of God?”

Their stupid believes were outrageous and morbid but Shinya had no choice. He did it for Die. “I confess.”

The shouts became even louder and the Inquisitor slammed his wooden hammer onto his desk to silence them. He turned his attention to the three other Inquisitors and after a few moments of murmuring he spoke up loud again.

“The former priest: Death through the sword.”

Shinya slumped down to the ground, holding himself up with his fists.

“And for the witch: Death through fire.”

The voices on his ear sounded alien. The shouting of the crowd started to fade out. The following sequences of the rest of their lifes played like a nightmare in front of Shinya's eyes. He hardly felt the hands which picked him up from the ground and dragged him out of court.

When Shinya lifted his head he saw that they pulled Die out of court in front of him. One last glance to the right side allowed him a last sight of his parents. His father hold up his mother who must have suffered a mental breakdown. Shinya slowly shook his head and with his eyes he told his father not to witness his death outside. His mother couldn't stand it.

They were dragged outside court and the light hurt their eyes. It was a gray day and the grass still wet from the rain the night before. The cawing of the crows telling them that they were already waiting for them.

The men in front of Shinya carried Die behind the large court to another meadow. That was when Shinya's panic set in. “Die, DIE!”

The weak former priest lifted his head and he turned around when he realized that they were going to separate them. “Shinya...” There were so many unspoken words in his eyes... hurt, pain, love... All he could do was to murmur the words he really meant from the bottom of his heart: “I love you Shinya. I will find you.”

And they carried Die out of sight. Shinya's screams mixed up with the shouting of the people outside in front of the court. Hundreds had arrived here to witness the spectacle and madness of church. Families with children, old people, again the well known faces and the insults, surrounding them, driving the guilty even more insane.

The pyres stood on the meadows in front of court on open field. In the distance, Shinya saw the wood set up for him and on top of it a large wooden cross where they would tie him onto. He became chalk white and realization set in that he would die on this very day, all alone, in front of strangers, listening to all this insults.

A sudden loud cawing from the crows at court and in that moment Shinya knew that Die was gone.

His feet gave in an the two men continued to pull Shinya over the meadow, the pyre coming closer and closer. Shinya breathed out loud, sobbed as if he threatened to suffocate from the pain. The pain in his chest became unbearable and even breathing seemed like a waste now.

They pulled Shinya up onto the pyre and all the young man realized when they bound him onto the wooden cross was that the wood on his feed was dry although the world around him was wet and cold. He blended out all the people observing him and his breathing became hasty when the panic set in.

The men left the pyre when they were done with tying Shinya onto the cross. Tears started to flow down his cold cheeks and the cold wind which blew through his hair mixed up with the smell of smoke. Shinya called out for Die, again and again. He repeated his name like a prayer.

The smell of fire became unbearable and he started to inhale the smoke deeply. More and more with the tiny hope to faint before the unspeakable pain would set in. That was when his dress caught fire and his hair started to burn. It was a nightmare and the shock went through his whole body and bones. Shinya screamed and coughed from the smoke, his fighting and fidgeting slowly died down, his senses slowly drifted away....

 

The last time he opened his eyes he saw a familiar figure standing behind the crowd of people on the meadow, observing the whole scenery like not belonging to it. It seemed so strange that this was the last picture Shinya could recall. Because somehow he got a feeling that he _knew_ that person....

 

The feeling of inner peace crept into Shinya's heart and the pain faded out. The world around him became white and dusty, it simply disappeared. Shinya closed his eyes and thought that he recognized golden curled hair. He felt how something cold rushed over his lips, as if ice would kiss him... into death.

  
A voice echoed in Shinya's head. ' _You're coming with me. I'm here to fetch you.'_

 

A name formed in Shinya's mind... _Kamijo_... and his consciousness left him completely.

 

 

 

_Time and space passed by_

 

_He felt like leaving for a distant place_

 

_Far away from what he knew_

 

_But he was not alone_

 

_and not the same anymore_

 

_He woke up in heaven._

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  


That was a long time ago. More than three centuries had passed. Nowadays, after all these years together in heaven, a sleepless Cherub tossed in his bed. Nightmares hunted him, memories of their last lifetime on earth. Since then they have never been separated again, not a day.

But Shinya had disappeared in heaven. A few days ago they argued about the rumors in heaven and he simply disappeared. Die felt sick of worry and it pained him... Shinya was his soul mate, they were created for each other. And now he was simply gone and a piece of Die was amiss. He simply didn't _function_ without him.

Die opened his eyes in shock from the long dream and shot up in his bed, mentally he shouted out loud his name: ' _SHINYAAAAAAA_!' And he grabbed into his hair in despair.

 


	14. Chapter 14

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 14

 

_The meeting of the higher ranks_

 

 

 

 

 

Hakuei flew with Toshiya through heaven, holding the young Angel close to him because the young Angel didn't posses any wings yet. Together they flew through all kind of heavenly spheres, passing by all different kind of landscapes and living beings. Heaven, or at least to Toshiya, slowly seemed endless and full of dreams and possibilities.

They flew over a large, deep blue lake which was surrounded by all kinds of flowers and trees. Angels and other mysterious creatures played in the grass surrounding the lake... the whole scenery was like from a movie.

Hakuei was happy, seeing Toshiya all astonished. “Hold on close!” He shouted out loud and with rapid speed Hakuei flew down to the surface of the lake. Toshiya closed his eyes and screamed. When he opened them again he saw Hakuei flying only inches away from the surface along the water. It was amazing. The water was so clear and blue.

“Be careful! Don't touch the water!” Hakuei shouted.

“Why?”

“There are living beings!”

Toshiya looked at his reflection in the water, feeling the sprays touching his face. He saw his reflection in the water darkening and suddenly the image of his face changed into a strangers face. Toshiya started to panic and Hakuei felt it immediately.

“Toshiya? What's the-”

“AAAHH---!”

Wet hands reached for Toshiya's head and ice blue eyes stared at him. A beautiful but strange face but before he was able to make out any more features, Toshiya's gaze became blurry and it felt as if water penetrated his head.... it was a strange feeling and as quickly gone as it had appeared. The water creature swam ahead of the flying couple, jumping happily out of the water and diving in again, hitting the water playfully with its fins.... it was a creature half fish, half human.

“A water creature!” Hakuei screamed out loud. “Toshiya!” He looked down to his protege in sorrow and pulled up into the air. “Are you all right?! Are you hurt?!”

Toshiya, who was still in shock shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.” He looked back to the lake's surface and saw the water creature looking back at them. It seemed strange but Toshiya got the feeling that it wanted to communicate with them... or with him in that matter.

“He’s strange…” Toshiya murmured.

“Who told you that he’s a _he_?”

“I just got the impression.”

  
They were close to reach land again while the creature in the lake still swam meters underneath them. It stretched out its arm and waved at Toshiya before they passed the lake. With a strange smile, Toshiya waved back nevertheless. He could see the fins underneath the creature's arms, its strange, shining light brown hair growing down its shoulders to its back... somehow he looked funny.

  
They passed the large lake and landed in the grass where round houses were build on. Hakuei walked straight to one of the houses and murmured to himself. “I haven’t been here since ages…” He looked back at Toshiya who observed interested.

“It’s the protégé-school.” Hakuei said.

“Schools? Up in heaven?”

“Jup, sorry I can't spare you that.” He joked. “But school here is quite interesting, I liked going to school here. Soon you will attend school as well and I will fly you here every day until you get wings.”

“When do young Angels get wings?”

“Usually down on earth on your first mission. Every Angel gets its wings by strong feelings, produced through exciting or traumatic situations.”

“Aha.” Toshiya said and thought to himself that he could have guesses.

“You will be fine. Look, in two days from now school will start and you will learn a lot about heaven and its system. Maybe you even make new friends.”

Toshiya made a face. Although he tried to open up to his surroundings and especially Hakuei, everything new was still hard for him.

“In case you want to talk about anything you can come to me anytime. And Shinya of course-” Hakuei stopped abruptly. He recalled that Shinya was missing since the day before.

“Hakuei? What's wrong with Shinya?” Toshiya was good at reading signs already.

“To be honest, we don't know.” It made Toshiya sad. Anything that possibly hurt Shinya hurt him too. Their destinies were unmistakeably combined with each other. “Shinya left for work yesterday and didn't return. But that doesn't mean anything.”

“Maybe I can find him!”

“How?” Hakuei wondered.

“I could try to contact him. Maybe I can because I'm his- “ Toshiya paused because he recalled that he didn't talk to Hakuei about Shinya's and his past.

“You're his son. I know Totchi. I wasn't allowed to tell you, I'm sorry. It was Shinya's business to do so.”

“And now he's gone.” Toshiya started to feel the well-know emptiness again. He grew so attached to Shinya that it hurt. Hakuei saw the expression on his protege's face and he pat his head. “Don't make such a face. Nothing get's lost in heaven. Whatever happened there must be a good reason for it.”

A deep sigh as an answer. Hakuei continued. “But I wanted to show you something else. A very holy place.”

Hakuei stepped closer behind Toshiya and lay his arm around the young Angel's stomach. For a moment, the closed his eyes and Hakuei unfolded his wings. Together they flew high up into the air again.

They flew deeper into the land which seemed endless to Toshiya. They crossed fields and hills until the grass and trees became less and right in front of them an enormous mountain range showed up. Hakuei flew through these mountains and Toshiya started to feel uneasy… he never liked snow. But the strangest of it all was that he felt no coldness. There were amounts of snow and ice but not the wind nor the snow could do them any harm, it was all neutral around them.

“Hakuei, where are we going?”

“We call it ' _the hall of memories'_. It’s one of the most holy places in heaven. You can find books and literature about every person and every important action which took place in the universe. The books are also called the “Akasha-Chronicles”. It is the down written memory of God himself. You can guess that these halls are guarded very well.”

Toshiya was astonished. “And we are allowed to simply go in there?”

“Of course. Everybody from heaven is allowed to. We all have lessons to learn, either by reading or making our own experiences on earth. We are allowed to read all books in there.”

“So, is there my book as well?”

“Sure. But I wouldn’t suggest to read your own book right away. Maybe after you came back from earth again…”

Maybe Hakuei was right and Toshiya decided not to push things out of curiosity.

“I will just show you the halls and then we will leave again.”

They landed on a very high cliff, in the middle of an enormous mountain. Hakuei let go off Toshiya and gestured to follow him. They walked deep into the mountain, their way lightened by some kind of fire until they came to stop in front of huge stone-doors. On each side stood two large Angel statues.

“Magnificent, aren't they?” Hakuei said when he saw Toshiya's astonished face. “Ready to wake up when some intruders would try to get into the library.” They continued their way and entered the automatically opening doors.

The sight they got was breathtaking. A never ending collection of books, shelves after shelves in endless rows. It was quite possible that Angels got lost in there. Hakuei nodded at the librarian and passed rows over rows.

Toshiya looked from left to right, trying to make out some system but it was simply too huge.

“The Akasha-Chronicles are sorted by Name, date and level of experience.” Hakuei suddenly stopped, he grasped for Toshiya's wrist and pulled the young Angel inside one row.

“So,” Toshiya wondered, “which category is this shelf about?”

“This shelf is about middle rank in development.”

“What kind of people do we find here?”

“All kind of people with higher educated souls. No criminals or murderers, that's for sure. Their place is in hell.”

“So there is a hell....”

“Of course there is. Just imagine all people mixed together... that would be chaos!” Toshiya tried to picture it but it was a little bit too much for him to imagine. The blond Guardian Angel stepped closer to Toshiya and he whispered. “Development isn't something you can measure with doctor titles or money... but with this.” He lay his hand over Toshiya's chest and the young Angel understood immediately what Hakuei tried to tell him.... it became warm where he touched him. With his insecure look, Toshiya hesitantly asked. “And my book?”

Hakuei pulled his hand back. “It's not here I'm afraid.... but I know that it is one level below this rank which is quite high for a protege.” He beamed at Toshiya proudly while the younger man slumped down his shoulders.

“I'm not so sure...” Toshiya added but Hakuei went on walking through the long book shelf and added. “I'm proud of you that's for sure.” Hakuei continued looking around. Probably he felt Toshiya feeling well after his last comment because of their invisible bound.

“I was looking for a book about love and friendship...” Hakuei searched the book shelves with high interest. He had skipped the book shelves with family names on it as it was quite rude to read books about close friends or family members. Although it was allowed to read everything, a modest Angel would ask the respective owner first.

In the middle of their search, a loud noise halled through the library and the sound of heavy doors slamming into the walls could be heard. The two Angels looked at each other startled and Hakuei stormed to the end of the book shelf to peek around the corner. Toshiya followed but stayed behind Hakuei.

“What's going on?” Toshiya whispered but Hakuei gestured with his hand to remain calm. Three Angels had entered the library. An Angel of smaller size in the middle and two large, black clothed Angels at each side. The tall Angels had spears in their hands, obviously Angels of Revenge. The smaller Angel in the middle said something to the librarian Angel who rushed to the front from behind his desk to fly over the shelves, looking for something. There was a certain powerful aura extending the smaller Angel.

The smaller Angel followed the librarian on foot because he had an impatient nature. The two Angels of Revenge followed him down the long corridor, passing shelf after shelf.

Hakuei narrowed his eyes and finally he got which important Angel it was. He whispered back at Toshiya. “That's Kindel-Angel Ruki!” With his spiky hair, all these rings in his ears and the two different colored eyes he was clearly to be recognized. “We better wait outside.”

Hakuei grasped for Toshiya's wrist but they waited patiently until the three visitors had passed their row. Ruki looked with an incredibly cold glare at the two Angels and passed them without a comment. Hakuei bended down slightly and so did Toshiya. Only one of the tall Angels of Revenge turned his gaze slightly at them but continued his way. Hakuei wondered what this gaze was all about. He had no idea that it was Karyu actually. He didn't even knew Karyu in person and neither did Toshiya.

Outside the library, Toshiya had to satisfy his curiosity. “What was this all about?”

“That was Ruki-sama. He's the only Kindel-Angel in heaven and equal to the highest Angel in heaven, Metatron. He's the judge of souls entering and leaving heaven. He knows all Akasha-Chronicles and he's the only one able to write into them and to read secret messages. He's the only one able to look into the future while reading the Akasha-Chronicles. And before an Angel gets reborn to earth, he has to visit Ruki-sama. After death, you return to Ruki-sama to get judged. Everyone goes there. Always.”

Now Toshiya understood why Hakuei panicked about seeing Ruki in the library. He sounded very mighty and knowing about his profession, one little riddle about the heaven system was solved again.

Hakuei went further on. “Ruki-sama is the only one where Guardian Angels and higher ranked Angels can ask for permission to look and maybe change or help in a course of life of their protégés WHEN they are reincarnated on earth. Otherwise this would never be allowed!”

Hakuei thought about something else but remained silent. He gestured Toshiya to leave this place and together they walked out of the deep mountain, ready to fly home. But the uneasy feeling lasted the whole day. These days the Cherubs were absolutely secret about something, then Shinya disappeared and now Ruki showing up in the library highly guarded.... something was definitely going on but they had no idea yet what this was all about.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The long dream Die had about Shinya's and his last lifetime on earth, shocked him. They lived here in heaven over centuries already and yet he recalled everything so clearly. Their love, their pain.... For a moment he had felt all human again and felt the emptiness when Shinya was not there. They argued the last time they saw each other and the mere thought of it drove him insane.

Shinya had never been gone for so long without telling Die. They weren't separated for so long since they had found each other in their last life.

And he would find him. Die was on his way to the higher-sphered holy halls where only higher ranked Angels were allowed to enter. And he wanted to see the highest Angel of them all, Metatron, also known as Kamijo.

Talking to Kamijo was almost as impossible as talking to God in person. He was always busy because he WAS the mightiest Angel of them all.

Kamijo was in direct command under God. One of his tasks was to sentence life and death thus Kamijo worked close together with the 'Angels of Death', Angels who fetch dead souls from earth. And 'Angels of Life', like Shinya, who bring new souls into life.

And the Cherubim, like Die and Hizumi, worked close together with Kamijo. The class Die was in was responsible to guard the portals to heaven, the class Karyu was in, Angel of Revenge, were responsible to defend heaven, either with magical or brutal power.

And Kamijo was Die's last help. It came to him right after he awoke this morning. Kamijo used to be Shinya's Guardian Angel, next to his profession as Metatron, when Shinya was last reincarnated on earth with Die because his soul as future 'Angel of life' was too precious for Kamijo. He absolutely insisted to bring Shinya's soul back to heaven personally when he died on earth.

The holy halls of higher-sphered Angels were quite funnily located in heaven.

When Shinya went to work to the ‘Tree of Life’ he usually flew high up into heaven because the higher you got the holier the spheres became. As the Cherubs stand in direct contact with the borders, Die must go as deep as possible in this world. The borders and holy halls were located right underneath the big blue lake of heaven. To get into the halls, Angels had to dive into the lake. And the creatures of the water didn't let anybody pass into these halls.

Water is everywhere and the lake as portal to the holy halls, carries a lot of secrets within. So when it comes to gossip, the Cherubim often stay in contact with the creatures of the lake.

  
Right now, Die stood next to the big lake and his gaze wandered over the surface, waiting for the responsible water creature to show up. And then, in the middle of the lake a well known head popped up. The creature dived back into the water and swam to the border where Die stood.

“Cherubim Die, what an honor to see you again.” The water creature said. His voice wasn't husky nor deep, it was soft almost like a child’s. To stand kind of straight in the water to talk to Die, he moved his fins under water.

“My honor. I'm sorry for the long absence.” Die replied. “Tell me Daisuke,” the creature's name was also Daisuke, his shoulder length black hair and handsome face were one of a kind, “How is the water today?”

“It tastes bitter. The water feels uneasy like before a storm.”

Die nodded because he could tell. “I thought so but it can't be helped. The Cherubs are uneasy these days too.”

“I know.”

“Daisuke, will you tell me when Shinya passes the lake?”

“Sure.”

“And about the other gossip?”

“I will keep you updated but until now I know nothing new.”

“All right. So, talk to you soon again.” Die blinked at him. He unfolded his wings and with a jump into the lake he dived down into the holy halls of heaven. The central meeting point of higher-sphered Angels.

He entered the halls through a portal and stood on dry, marble ground. Although he swam through water, he wasn't wet. Holy, higher-sphered Angels didn't get wet from the water but lower ranked Angels did.

The holy halls were magnificent to look at. High, colorful painted ceilings, inspired by art from earth in dramatic design.

Die's heavy footsteps echoed down the holy, luxurious marble of the hall. To each side were large doors of different Angel classes and meeting rooms. He walked to the very back of the hall where the largest and most important door was: Metatron, Kamijo's hall.

Next to his door stood two Cherubim, guarding the hall.

“Hello Die.” One of them said. “Do you have an appointment with Metatron-sama?” They hold long spears in their hands and wore high helmets on their heads. They were slightly higher within their rank than Die or Hizumi.

“No but I think Kamijo will receive me anyway.”

“I'm sorry but Metatron-sama is very busy I can't-”

The Guards words were cut off when Die started to yell out loud in front of the doors. “KAAAAMIJOOOOOO! I DESPERATELY NEED YOUR HELP!!!!”

The guards winced from the loudness. They got Die on his arms to carry him out but the doors already opened. There he stood with his golden curled hair and killer blue eyes at the entrance of his hall: Kamijo, glaring furiously back at Die. With a nod of his head he gestured his guards to drop the disturber and he motioned Die to come in. As soon as the doors were closed he started to scold.

“DAISUKE! What on earth do you think you're doing?!”

“Honestly, I have no idea!” Die answered with a slight hint of madness. “My soul mate disappeared two days ago without another word... it's driving me crazy! Kamijo, you were his Guardian Angel once.... where is Shinya? He's gone and I have no idea what happened I-”

He paused when he realized that he grabbed his hair in despair. Die started to break within and Kamijo could tell.

“Die, there is a lot going on in heaven at the moment and I'm sorry but I can't help you in that matter.” Kamijo lied to Die but was perfect in hiding it. Fact was that he was quite aware of some facts but he remained silent. He had to. “These are unsteady times and you know that better than any other Angel. I'm telling you to keep your private life out of this and concentrate on your work. In due time everything will clear up, I'm sure of it.... and now: Follow me.”

Kamijo gestured Die out of his hall.

“Where are we going?” Die asked.

“Have you been dead the past two days?!” Kamijo asked in disbelieve.

“Guess you can say that…” And Die followed Kamijo out to the hall into the next meeting room.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

 

“Welcome, all higher-sphered Angels to this important council meeting-“

Kami stopped his speech when the door to the meeting room opened. All Angels stared at the two late arriving Angels. Kamijo nodded at Kami to continue and Die closed the door behind them.

Kamijo sat down at the end of the table, Die joined Hizumi at the side of the long table. On the long table different kind of Angels were seated: The Archangels Kami, Kyo, hide, Mana, Cherubim Angels and even the three mighty Seraphim were seated.

Hizumi literally burned holes into Dies head when he saw the other Cherub after two days of absence from work. “Christ, Die, where have you been? I swear if you ever-” Hizumi hissed at Die but Kamis voice filled the air again.

“The council meeting starts now. We will discuss upcoming arrangements and-“

The door pushed open a second time and Kami sunk his head down in frustration. Without looking up he said: “Finally we are complete, ‘Kindel' Ruki…”

Kami offered him the last empty seat next to him. Ruki took it and nodded and the two Angels of Revenge closed the door from the outside. They would guard the room during the meeting because the attendances were too important.

Kami let a moment of silence pass by before he started with topic number one in heaven.

“We all know why we are here. Everything started with young Angels who returned from earth a while ago. They talked about serious visions, meetings with creatures from hell and so on. At first it seemed like an indirect attack to us, jokes from hell or something like that but after we got told the same visions from different ranks of Angels, we charged Ruki to investigate in that matter.”

Murmurs filled the air and Ruki stood up. “And I have found something among the Akasha-Chronicles.”

He looked into shocked faces, surprised ones too but Kamijo looked sternly back at him.

“It started with the young Angels, or how the Guardians call them protégé, who came back from earth. Some of them reported about visions of a new apocalypse... the interpretations varied but they all had one thing in common: That one being would start this apocalypse. A mighty being with unmeasurable powers.”

All Angels were glued to Ruki's lips, waiting for his revelation with anticipation.

“A certain chapter of the chronicles writes about the rebirth of a mighty being, called ' _The Cross_ '. We certainly have never heard of that before so I studied the chapters. Down written pictures, ideas and emotions made it difficult for me to understand at first but soon I understood what power _The_ _Cross_ possessed: It is a teleporter, half Angel, half Demon but with the power of both able to travel all spheres of heaven and hell. You can only imagine how powerful it can be. It is able to travel without boundaries and able to neutralize powers.”

The Angels were speechless and even Kamijo remained motionless on his seat. Fact was that no Demon was able to enter heaven without permission and it was the other way round for Angels with hell. A creature with such powers could bring chaos and destruction to both worlds, even destroy all the life with it.

The Cherubs shook their heads in disbelieve while the Archangels started to discuss with each other. The leader of the 'Angels of Revenge', also a Cherubim, Kazu his name, kept his pokerface and thought about first strategical moves.

Kami pulled out of Kyo's and hide's disputation and asked Ruki: “Does hell know about the prophecy?”

“I'm not sure but since there are some clever minded Demon's too... I guess so.”

“What can we do?” Die spoke up.

“The Cherubs at the borders must pay special attention to anything which enters heaven. In form of Angels or rumors. But we have to pay special attention in whole heaven.” Ruki looked over to Metatron. “We don't know where _the Cross_ will be reborn or awakened. It could be earth, heaven, hell.... No matter where it will awaken, it concerns all living being in all worlds. May God be merciful with us.”

And Ruki sat down into his chair again.

Kazu, Angel of Revenge, stood up and talked to the attendances.

“My army of Angels will be ready to serve in each world for heavens security. If there is no way to avoid a war, we will fight together with all the Cherubim and defend the universe.”

Kamijo, the leader of all Angels in God's name, stood up. “Our thanks to the Angels of Revenge.” He paused. “But at first we might think about how to avoid a war. Violence must be the last resort in case of escalation.”

The Seraphim nodded sternly.

It was the teacher Angel Shizumi, also a Cherubim, who asked. “What about the younger ones? The protégés? School starts very soon and it will be hard to keep rumors from them.”

Kamijo answered. “It’s their Guardian Angels tasks to take care of them privately but in school I bid you to avoid the topic as long as possible. I'm afraid heaven's residents will know about it soon enough.”

“And what about earth?” A soft voice, almost as soft as a whisper, asked. It was Kai, Seraphim and six-winged Angel who was concerned about earth. It was in his nature to be concerned about almost everything because he was the 'Angel of Love and Light'. Blessed with the highest healing powers in heaven.

Kamijo thought about it and suggested. “Sooner or later we have to send a group of Angels down to earth for observation. Maybe even in disguise, we will see. Kazuki....”

Kamijo addressed one other Seraphim who merely moved his eyes and looked with a piercing gaze back at Kamijo. “... you as 'Angel of Time' usually feel changes in the time-sphere, I ask you to keep an special eye on things and Aiji, you as 'Angel of Mood' as well.”

The Seraphim nodded.

“What are you planning to do if the Cross gets reborn in heaven?” Kazuki asked back. Kamijo looked at Ruki because they haven't thought about that until now. “We haven't thought about it yet. Things also change if hell gets informed about the prophecy, they surely want a piece of pie too.”

“At first,” Ruki added, “we have to be more observant and I for myself will go on reading through the chronicles. If there is something new, contact either me or Kamijo.”

“But why not asking God himself?” Shizumi wondered. If it’s our Lord who inspired the chronicles, why couldn't tell he us all about it? We need every help we can get!”

“You could ask the water or a tree what it _sees_ every day… His power is universal and beyond communication. He is inspiration, life itself. And you should know that. We are the active living beings. Our Lord is above all that, he is the source.” What a poet Ruki was, must be all the books, Die thought but kept it to himself.

“But…” Leader Revenge-Angel Kazu asked, “... in case we find _the Cross_ … shall we leave it alive or destroy it?”

Kamijo thought about it and came to one conclusion. “You are the Angels of war. If it's peaceful, try to leave it alive but if it threatens the worlds peace, we will leave you in charge of it.”

His statement couldn't have been more clear. Kazu nodded understandingly. It was then that Kami recalled something and he addressed Kazu. “What about that Karyu of yours?”

Kazu knew immediately what Kami was appealing to. Of course Kazu knew about the encounter the other day at the meeting hall when Karyu embarrassed Toshiya at the meeting.

“He’s one of the strongest Angels of Revenge.” Kazu answered.

“And I thought he was only the strongest one with words... You know about the other day.”

“I’ve heard of it. And we've had a serious discussion about it. To make him atone for his behavior he will escort one group of protégés down to earth next time.”

“How did you make him do that?” Kyo mouthed at Kazu who added dryly. “We threatened him with being kindergarten teacher for a month among the youngest Angels.”

“Yeah! You rock!” Hide jumped on his seat and clapped his hands together but stopped immediately when two pairs of mad eyes glared at him. Kami to silence him and Kazu because he obviously didn't like the thought of their strongest Angel of Revenge between little clumsy kindergarten Angels.

Die had trouble to hide his amusement too, the film playing in his mind was just too good. He would have LOVED to know Karyu in between all this little Angels. But on the other hand, the poor little souls....

With a look at Kamijo and Ruki, Kami stood up and he ended the meeting for the day, reminding them of a certainly second meeting to come.

All the Angels left, except of Die who waited in front of the door for Kamijo to come out. Hizumi stopped in his tracks. “You're coming with me to work today, my friend!”

“I will follow you later, promised. I just need one last word with Kamijo. It's important. It's about Shinya...”

“You still haven't found him yet?”

A slow headshake and Hizumi understood.

“Good luck then... and see you around later.”

“See you later.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It took all of Kamijo's abilities of talking to calm the confused Cherubim Die down. There was no way that Metatron could have helped him, not even if he wanted to. And the reason for that he was about to tell to the mightiest Angels in heaven: The Seraphim.

Kazuki, Aiji and Kai were seated with Kamijo on the long table, long after Die left.

“I presume there is something else which remained unsaid during the meeting.” Kazuki started and Kamijo slowly nodded.

“Precautions have been made on my behalf long before the rumors started.”

That was big news and the Seraphim looked back at Kamijo in utter surprise. The Metatron stood up and continued to explain.

“Shortly after Lucifer... I mean Sugizo left heaven 400 years ago, a few Angels and me developed a special safety program for heaven. Hardly anyone knew about it because it was top secret and still is. But in consideration of the fact it is time for me to inform you now.” Kamijo paused before he went on further. “I want to apologize for keeping it a secret for so long which was merely on behalf of heaven and the safety of its residents.”

He sat down and folded his hands. “I'm talking about an unknown Angel-class which resides invisible among us. They are called ‘Demon Angels’. Angels to track down possible intruders or spys from hell. It is also their task to find out about rumors and possible traitors long before anyone of us does.”

“That's unbelievable...” Kazuki said and turned his attention to Aiji who was the 'Angel of moods'. Aiji was able to feel any kind of feelings long before anybody else did and he could change an Angel's feelings and mood swing within seconds.

“No, nothing. At least nothing unusual.”

“Their disguise is perfect.” Kamijo added and Kai asked. “How perfect?”

“Too perfect I guess. They are among us for quite some time now.”

“How many Demon Angels are there?” Kai asked again.

“Right now two. But if things should get more dangerous I'm willing to add some more.”

Kazuki looked angry remained silent though. Aiji seemed nonchalant like he always was. There was a suspicion that he didn't only control other Angels feelings but his own too. And Kai, the always good-humored and lovely Angel looked confused.

“There is another thing...” Kamijo admitted meekly. “The days when I developed the idea of DA's, the Demon Angels, Lucifer was among the development team.”

“WHAT?!” Kazuki bellowed out loud but with a touch of Aiji's hand, the Seraphim sank back in his seat.

“Unfortunately. Sugizo was highly intelligent and witty and his ideas were a great contribution to the project...”

“So what you are trying to say is....” Kazuki said.

“That most likely the idea was brought into hell with Sugizo.”

“Means that there are most likely Demon spies in hell too.” Kai said with his tender voice.

“Good Lord.” Kazuki held onto his forehead. “And now?”

“Now that you are informed I ask you to stay attentive, just in case.”

The Seraphim agreed, still speechless about the precaution and the meaning behind it. Invisible spies sounded very much like a last resort in case of an emergency.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After all the Angels had left for work again, two invisible Angels remained back in the conference room.

Clad with long, dark cloaks and large hoods they stood motionless inside the room, still absorbing the energy and thoughts of the former visitors. The Demon Angels were among them, always have been and always will. Their keen sense of feeling taking in any possible treacherous intend. Their clear mind reaching far beyond the borders of heaven, receiving visions from the strangest places.

The taller one of them pulled down his hood. His short, blond hair matched perfectly with his blue eyes. What differed him from all the others was a piece of cloth which covered his nose.

The second, more fragile Demon Angel, pulled down his hood as well. Auburn, long hair fell down over his shoulders. He looked up at his comrade.

“Do you think it was wise to tell them about us Reita?”

The composed Angel looked back at his comrade. “My opinion doesn't count.”

“I guess you're right.” The petite Angel let his mind wander and Reita felt it immediately.

“You will see him again soon Shinya.”

A deep sigh. “I know.... but I would have never guessed that it could be so hard to be invisible to him.”

Reita turned his attention away and stared into nothing. He chose his wise words out of his long collected experiences. “Only very few Angels possess the gift to become a Demon Angel. You will have changed the next time you meet him and he too.”

Reita silenced and Shinya knew that he was right. He nodded and Reita added. “The wind carries a lot of changes.”

“Yes.” Shinya agreed.

“Soon we have to go down to earth.”

“Let's hope to find nothing harmful there.”

Reita smiled as he lifted up his cloak and covered Shinya with it. And from one moment to the other the two of them disappeared.

 


	15. Chapter 15

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 15

 

_The changes in my immortal life_

 

 

It was funny to observe how Hakuei was more nervous than Toshiya on his first day of school in heaven. It was something similar to school, not entirely strict with learning and whatsoever. Shizumi, teacher for all the new arrivals, would inform them about general things in heaven and hell. And besides it was desired for the youngsters to make new friends too.

Hakuei checked on Toshiya for probably the 10th time today. If not asking him about his well being, he looked at his face or touched him on the shoulder randomly.... Seeing Hakuei behaving kind of helpless was somehow.... sweet. Toshiya had to smirk about it but didn't tell Hakuei about the funny observations. Frankly, it felt quite nice to be taken care of. Toshiya couldn't remember the last time this was the case. The more he enjoyed it.

On the other hand of course Toshiya was nervous too but it was in his nature to remain calm anyway like he always did. Panicking wouldn't help either one of them.

And in front of the school building outside the castle, many Guardian Angels have arrived with their proteges. Too many for Toshiya's taste and he felt like becoming even more shy if it was somehow possible. It was not that he disliked other people or Angels in that matter, he just made bad experience in the past and preferred to rather stay alone.

Hakuei turned around for about three times after he said his good-byes to Toshiya. And he told him more than once to contact him mentally if anything went wrong. Safe protege must kept safe.

Toshiya touched his neck sheepishly.

With his head lowered, he entered the school building. Many young Angels of all genders sat in between the rows, talking to each other, exchanging gossip.... it was an environment unknown to him. When eyes lay on him, and he could feel them starring at him, it always felt like they would read him like an open book. What if they just knew what happened to him in the past? What if they laugh about him or his poor roots? What if they lay open memories he would have rather forgot?

Toshiya seated next to a smaller Angel who seemed to be just as shy as he was. Getting used to the environment, Toshiya peaked now and then to the little Angel next to him. His hair was raven black, grown to his shoulders and his bangs were funnily grown over his eyes. It amused him and Toshiya had to admit that he didn't came up with such a clever idea of hiding. He smiled and the unknown Angel must have noticed it. Very calm, he said hello. Toshiya did the same and stretched out his hand.

“I'm Toshiya.”

“Nice to meet you.” He looked through between his bangs and the eyes scanning Toshiya were more intense than expected. Almost cat-like. “I'm Ryutaro.”

He seemed like a funny fruit. Toshiya slightly smirked at him and together they observed the ongoings inside their class room. There were so many different proteges. Taller and smaller ones, some loud or quiet. And even some with funny hairstyles.

It must have been some kind of reflex when Toshiya turned around and found somebody straight staring at him. He literally felt the strangers eyes burning holes into the back of his head but what scared him the most were these cold eyes and furrowed brows. Not to mention that the ring through his lip was rather strange too.

Slowly, without looking too suspicious, Toshiya turned his head back again and mouthed silently to Ryutaro. “Do you know him?” Taro shook his head after he took a fast glimpse. “No.”

There was no time to wonder because their teacher Shizumi entered and the chattering died down.

“Good morning class! My name is Shizumi and I'm your teacher for the upcoming two weeks. I’m sure that our time together will be fun and that you’ll learn a lot. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask. In case of disobedience, I'm quoting Archangel Kami: 'I'll lead the rest of classes myself.' You can take this as a warning.”

Murmurs went through the room but Ryutaro didn't get it. He arrived in heaven only recently so Toshiya explained to him that Kami was well known for being strict and short tempered.

“Well then, welcome everyone.” Shizumi smiled while his gaze wandered through class, scanning his new pupils. By the look of him you could tell that Shizumi was easy to get along with. His short spiked up hair, the oversized glasses and the constant beam in his eyes marked him as a friendly being.

He opened a book on his desk and told the Angels to respond when called out loud.

Toshiya felt uneasy because of the recent incident. But thankfully nothing odd occurred when his name was called out. When Shizumi read the last name though, a grumpy murmur came from the last row. It was that bad starring Angel from before and Toshiya made sure to remember his name: Ni~ya.

The lesson started right away and it proved to be quite interesting. Toshiya would have never thought that he could actually care about heaven's history and divisions. Maybe it was because his point of view slightly changed since he truly arrived here.

What differed from earth was that many things Shizumi wanted to show came to the Angels like dreams. Movies playing in front of their inner eyes, visions, memories of past times.... and it stuck in their heads. Not like some boring, old teachers preaching and immediately forgetting it afterwards.

“Heaven. Imagine it like one huge garden of sunlight, friendship and love. Many visible and invisible beings live here. There is a clear hierarchy, from the top: God, as source of never ending love and compassion. Directly under his command is Metatron or how we call him Kamijo-sama. Kindel-Angel Ruki-sama is on the same level as Kamijo. Ruki is responsible for reincarnation and fate-things. Underneath them are the highest Angels: The Seraphim. Underneath them the Cherubim and Archangels and at last but not least the Guardian Angels and protege. Every Angel can climb up the hierarchy, depends on the talents. The structure of hell.... Looks confusing, is confusing. There are many different ways of evil and still we don't know all of them. We know that there is a similar hierarchy of Demons like in heaven. Higher and lower Demons do exist but what hell harbors best are the tortured and suffering souls which don't want to come to heaven or simply can't because they are utterly evil.”

“It’s terrible….” Toshiya whispered absentminded.

“Their God is the Lord of Darkness, Atsushi and his son Kirito.” For a moment, Shizumi silenced and decided to spared his pupils the story about the fallen Angel Lucifer. “You can imagine that heaven and hell are rivals since ages, balancing peace on contracts. They try to get souls into darkness, we try to get souls into light. We've had several fights and wars over the decades, with losses and victories on both sides. We coexist because we have to.”

After a few more explanations, Shizumi ended the chapter about hell and announced that humanity and earth would be next the following days. He called it a day and shortly after he closed his mouth, the mob stormed outside chattering. So things were not too different from earth either.

Hakuei arrived way too early to fetch Toshiya. Rest of the lesson he waited outside the building daydreaming. One loud, happy mob stormed out of school and they caught his attention automatically... but when he saw a long forgotten sad face among them, Hakuei stood still like struck by lightning.

Slowly and with no haste, Toshiya finally came out with Ryutaro next to him, both engaged in an eager conversation.

“You arrived here just recently? So you know how earth looks like today.”

“I do. I can tell you all about it if you want to.”

“Sure.” Toshiya answered and spotted Hakuei not far away waiting for him. And the moment he saw his Guardian’s face, he knew that something must be wrong. Maybe it was the empty, transfixed stare. But when Toshiya turned around to look at the same spot, nothing could be seen. He called Hakuei by his name twice until he reacted.

“Hey, you're back. Everything okay?” His voice as deep and caring like it always was but the gaze in his eyes still distant.

“Everything's fine. I just met Ryutaro.” He introduced him to Hakuei but the blond smiled knowingly. The reason arrived just in time and joined their group.

“Aoi!” Ryutaro literally jumped into his arms and didn't let go off him. His affection more than clear but Aoi more than willingly giving in too.

Hakuei greeted the arriving Angel and introduced Toshiya to him. Of course they knew each other from former times, Guardian Angel-buddies so to speak. What caught Toshiya's eyes though were the changing colors of their wing-aura. Although Ryutaro had no wings yet, the energy came from his back nevertheless. And somehow their color seemed to deepen. Shinya and Die came into mind too.

The young Angels promised to continue their conversation the following day and parted ways.

Turning his attention to Hakuei again proved to be unnoticed. Completely in thoughts the Guardian Angel hardly realized the others gone too. Toshiya found that very odd and only hesitantly touched him on the shoulders. Hakuei woke from his state but the moment he said it he found his excuses poor too. Toshiya luckily didn't ask for his reasons.

But that 'issue' which caught his mind was simply disturbing. A matter, he rather wanted to forget.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

One day after the meeting with the higher-ranked Angels, Die arrived at work and first thing Hizumi could tell from his body language was that his unhappy state still carried on. The pain slowly but surely wore him out. He seemed burnt out and not entirely 'there.'

“Any progress? Useful information from Kamijo?”

Die stared long and empty back at Hizumi before he recalled what his friend referred to. “You mean our last conversation? No, not really. He told me something I couldn't really picture.”

Hizumi spared the sarcastic comment and listened to Die's explanation instead.

“He told me that God sealed the borders to the 'Tree of life' as precaution because of all the gossip and possible dangers. And to keep his favorite 'Angel of Life' safe, he just sealed Shinya within.”

A lifted eyebrow from Hizumi. “But you’re not believing this, do you?”

A sight from a man close to insanity. “Honestly, I don't know what to believe anymore. There are all these lies and gossip around us, I-” He paused. “I just want him back. With him by my side I know that I can accomplish everything.”

Hizumi never recalled anybody loving his partner so much like Die did his Shinya. He himself never was that close with a being before so it was hard for him to imagine the pain, yet to give clever advise. But he did his best at least in listening and helping if somehow possible.

“You know, Kamijo was Shinya's Guardian Angel once. Maybe he really wants to keep Shinya safe or... God knows what!”

“Die,” he seemed to need a warm touch on his shoulder, “you will see. Everything's got a cause. There's surely an explanation for this.”

“Hey guys!”

The two Cherubim turned around and found Shizumi standing at their working place.

“Oi teacher!” Hizumi did the talking since Die lacked of communication skills these days. “Found something out already?”

“Are you kidding? I just came back from class. But,” he pulled out a book from his bag, “I got this with me.”

Wary, Hizumi looked left and right before he pulled Shizumi and Die closer. They started whispering.

“What's this?” Die wondered and Hizumi answered.

“I asked Shizumi to get us something from the forbidden part of the library.”

A jubilant beam from the teacher Angel who had almost boundless access to the library.

“Why?” Die didn't get it.

“Because we are Cherubim and must know about the prophecy. Maybe we can find some more interesting information too....”

Die had an inkling what Hizumi was referring to. They observed Shizumi skipping through the old, yellow pages. Pictures and texts in foreign languages only few Angels were able to read. The teacher pushed up the glasses on his nose, old habit of him, and scanned the contents. He murmured to himself when his quick eyes flew over several words. “higher-ranked.... category.... war.... fallen Angels....” His voice changed to a more interested one. “.... invention?”

He stopped and turned the page around again to scan the drawing in medieval style. “That's rare.” Hizumi and Die were glued to his lips. The drawing showed two statues out of stone. Both of them clad with long cloaks and their faces hidden by long hoods. Only their Wings showed that they were angelic.

“Never seen a pair of Angels clothed like this before.” He turned around to the next page and winced when Die clasped over his hand and hold onto the page in tension.

“That’s impossible...” Die whispered in disbelieve. It showed the drawing of another statue. “Whose book is it?”

Shizumi closed his eyes and tried to feel the energy of the book. “I can't tell. It seems that the Angel-”

“Disappeared.” Die ended his sentence. “In this case I guess I know whose book it is.”

“How so?” Hizumi asked.

Die removed his hand and they looked at the picture which showed an Angel statue. “I know this statue. It stood in the church's garden during my last life on earth... I was the one who ordered it from a stone mason.”

“WHAT?! Why? What meaning-?”

“I ordered it because I was inspired to do so..... inspiration often comes from the Guardian Angel... my Guardian Angel during my last life was-”

Die stopped. No one except of him and some higher ranked Angels knew _who_ his Guardian Angel was.... the _one_ who was expelled from heaven and fell from God's grace. Sugizo. Better known as Lucifer these days. Die met him in person before he left heaven and changed sides. Die never told anybody about their meeting.

“Guys,” Die cleared his throat, “there is something big going on. I think we are close to solve the riddle soon.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was pity when Toshiya told Hakuei that it was okay for him to share the large bed in Hakuei's apartment. Since they were living together now anyway, changes and new arrangements came daily and roused old habits and structures of thinking. For example: Toshiya sleeping unnecessarily close to the edge of the bed and never turning around, changed to turning around eventually and looking at Hakuei's peaceful sleeping face.

Toshiya still had troubles to sleep at night. The nightmares were yet not close to be forgotten and his mind still worked on the past and all the sudden changes. Hakuei, though his responsibility was high, never had troubles to sleep. He hit the pillows and was gone. Every time.

First thing Toshiya recognized about his Guardian Angel was kindness. Hakuei was bulky built and although Toshiya was tall, Hakuei was even taller. But behind his 'don't-mess-with-me-face' was in fact a loveable and sometimes sensible Angel. Hakuei of course would never talk about it and even less admit it. In his acting and caring he was so selfless that it simply didn't seem count. It took Toshiya even longer to realize that Hakuei held completely back only for the sake of him.

Knowing about him being introvert, how could Toshiya know that something was bothering him?

The pictures on Hakuei's upper body started to make sense after a week. After another week Toshiya was sure that he could draw them by heart.

Trust was a heavy word with even more meaning behind it. But Toshiya started to feel comfortable around him. He caught himself asking Hakuei questions about many things, now and then he started to smile. Took Toshiya very long to get used to that, it always felt alien to him. But the best reward was to receive a smile in return. Or maybe it was only to cover up his own uneasiness...

It started with Hakuei acting absentminded, asking the same questions over and over again. He brought and fetched Toshiya from school without a minute of delay and made sure to leave punctual again. At first Toshiya didn't notice because another strange urge came to develop inside of him. He felt strangely drawn to the element of water. The incident at the lake, were a strange water creature made contact with him long forgotten.

So one day Toshiya found himself standing on the large lake. The wind glided peacefully over the blue sparkling surface, the chirping birds and the sunlight made the moment perfect. He was all alone, enjoying the moment which only belonged to him. Slowly, he dropped to his knees and stretched out his hand to touch the surface of the water.... and Toshiya froze. His vision became blurry and a gust of energy went through the water, backfiring at him at the same moment. Pictures and voices filled his head but stopped immediately after he pulled back and dropped back into the grass.

When he leaned up again, a head looked out of the water. Startled, Toshiya moved backwards when he saw the fishman jumping over the surface of the water and diving rest of the way to the shore. The water creature stopped in front of Toshiya, divided from him through the water only.

“Hello Toshiya.” The fishman said, his voice strangely artificial but composed. His upper body bare and his fins underneath the surface. His eyes and hair were dark with a green shimmer.

“You know my name?”

“From the moment I first made contact with you.”

Seeing the fishman in front of him now, vague images and memories came back, the feeling of water penetrating his head. How could he possibly forget?

“I remember now. But who are you?”

“My name is Daisuke.”

“Another one?”

“Yes, like Cherub Daisuke.”

“You know him too?!”

“Of course. To get into the holy halls of heaven, every Angel must dive through this lake to reach the borders of heaven.”

Confusion was an understatement. “I didn’t know that the borders of heaven are underneath this lake.”

“It's a perfect disguise. I watch over this lake, who enters and leaves it.”

“The water..... I feel strange close to water. What happened to me?”

“I gave you half of my powers to communicate through water.”

Toshiya was shocked. “You did what?! But why? Why me? Something so precious!” He felt the pressure for so much responsibility.

“You are precious. When I first saw you I knew you are the one to give it to.”

“But I'm a protege, nothing higher ranked or gifted! You shouldn’t have.”

“It doesn’t matter who you are now. It matters who you will be.”

Toshiya didn't know what to make out of it. He thought to himself when Daisuke started explaining.

“I'm dependent from water. I could never leave it but you can. Dangerous times awaits us, I'm sure you can feel it too. I need you as a link to the foreign lands. A reliable but sensitive partner, that's what you are.”

“So we can exchange information? How?”

“Touch any kind of water and think of me. This way we will be able to communicate. Here in heaven and on earth.”

“Sounds unbelievable.”

“But it works.”

“And what about the Archangel of water? Am I not running into his job or something?”

“You cannot control or command water. Only Archangel Kami can do that. You can feel and communicate through water, that's something different.” Daisuke stretched out his hand and motioned Toshiya to do so too. Carefully, he touched the wet, slightly slimy hand and then he felt it again, water penetrating his head... and through the water he could hear Daisuke's voice talking to him. Toshiya nodded and replied to him mentally too.

When they were done, Daisuke pulled back and the water which wet his feet seemed to pull away too and Toshiya was all dry again. “Unbelievable.”

“You won't get wet from the water in heaven, just like the higher-sphered Angels.”

Toshiya nodded in awe, finally realizing what gift he possessed.

“Don’t tell anyone about your powers.”

“I won’t.”

“You can contact me through any water anytime you have the urge to tell me something.”

Toshiya nodded obediently.

“Thank you Toshiya and I'm sorry to burden you with this gift. But you are the only one capable to have it.”

“I hope I won't disappoint you.”

“You won't.” It was the first time Daisuke put a smile onto his smooth face. “Looking forward to be working with you.”

Toshiya nodded and smiled back.

From one moment to the other Daisuke dived down without a splash and swam away underwater.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hakuei was on his way to fetch Toshiya from school. The second week of school already passed and the time for the youngsters to go down to earth was close, making a bundle of nerves out of him. He wondered if it was not to soon for Toshiya to go down without having him or Shinya around. Hakuei only hoped that Shinya would be back by then to say good bye, otherwise it would break Toshiya's heart.

On earth, Toshiya would gradually 'heal' and grow stronger during the undefined time down there. He would be only allowed to come back to heaven after receiving his wings and finding his own protege on earth. It was the time for protege to 'grow up', becoming responsible after looking for somebody else.

Which somehow seemed to _itch_ Hakuei.

He felt like he was not done with watching Toshiya. There were still so many things to teach him, to show him.... only God knows what human Toshiya would be appointed to on earth. It scared Hakuei but soon they had to find it out anyway.

The chattering of the young protege leaving school was delusive. It seemed like the gossip didn't poison their innocent, little world. And the world which was poisoned....

Hakuei looked up in some kind of reflex when he spotted a pair of old-known eyes among them. Paralised, he was unable to think before he set in motion again. The chance was now or never to talk to him. But the young Angel obviously didn't want to talk to him. Hakuei made haste to catch up and grabbed the young Angel on his arm and whirled him around.

“Ni~ya! Wait!”

Dark, hurt eyes glowered back at him

“Let me go!”

“We need to talk.”

“There's nothing to talk about!”

“Do we have a problem here?” A third voice came from behind and Hakuei and Ni~ya looked into a pair of nonchalant eyes.

“No Ruka, everything's fine.” Hakuei answered and let go of Ni~ya again. And that put an end to his effort. Ruka was Ni~ya's Guardian Angel and well know for being an unpleasant fellow. Not very social and not interested in being it too.

Looking at Ni~ya leaving the place with his shoulders slumped and his fragile back so unprotected, brought up unpleasant memories. The last time Ni~ya and Hakuei met was a few decades ago on earth but the pain Ni~ya harbored for Hakuei was as fresh as the older Angel had feared him to. And they needed to dispose of their old Karma. Hakuei was long done with it but Ni~ya apparently not... although he had to admit that he kind of played a role in their misery too.

Hakuei winced when he felt someone touching him on the shoulder from behind. Toshiya stood behind him with a slight smile on his face which gave Hakuei a better feeling immediately.

“It's just me.”

“Not just you, it IS you.” Hakuei smiled back and playfully lay one arm around Toshiya's shoulders. Together they walked a bit but the smile coming from Hakuei seemed kind of false. The past days to Hakuei's puzzlement added vulnerability but Toshiya had no clue why. Of course he thought of himself at fault but was insecure whether to address the topic or to let it just drop.

In the midst of all this thinking, an invisible force put pressure into Toshiya's head and he slipped out of Hakuei's grip and fell down to the ground. He hold his head in between his hands and moaned in pain.

“Argh—!!“

“Toshiya! What's going on?!” Hakuei slumped down to him and held him on his shoulders. In shock, he looked up and down his tensed body, not knowing what to do.

“.. a vision.” He stammered and pressed his eyes together tight. Hakuei steadied him from behind and held onto his head, caring over his hair over and over again.

“Something's happening-“ And before Toshiya could end his sentence, a big wave of energy went through the whole lake and a dull drumming sound could be heard. The surface of the lake froze within a second and the water became as hard as stone.

Toshiya stopped gripping his head and he moved up from Hakuei's lap. He looked at the lake in front of them and stammered to himself. “Oh my God....” Hakuei followed him and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, still insecure if Toshiya was completely fine. “Daisuke froze the lake.” Toshiya added. “He sealed the boarders to our world.”

“Why?”

“To keep us safe.”

“Some strangers came, that's all I know.”

Hakuei looked back at his protege in awe. Of course he didn't know about Toshiya's new ability to communicate with Daisuke but the lake being frozen happens like once every thousand years. When Hakuei looked up into heaven and saw many Angels flying away in panic, trying to safe their loved ones.

“We better leave too.”

“Guess you're right. There's nothing we can do.” And with a last glimpse of the stone like surface, Toshiya turned away from it and left together with Hakuei.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Kamijo slammed the huge doors of his quarters with both hands open, storming through the holy hall straight to the borders of heaven. His cloak and golden hair flew back from the speed, several Cherubim and Angels of Revenge followed him too. They all felt the impact and the change of energy vibes.

“Who is it?!” Kamijo shouted back at the Angels.

“It’s the Master of Darkness.” One Cherub answered.

Kamijo widened his eyes for a moment. “So the fallen Angel has returned.”


	16. Chapter 16

Songs to this chapter:  **06 – Carnival of Lies** (Hell's theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YLfI5sJQSQ&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YLfI5sJQSQ&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 16

 

_Look into those eyes… they show you evil_

 

 

 

The Cherubs followed Kamijo through the holy halls with spears in their hands. Lucifer, Sugizo's arriving caused quite a stir among the higher-ranked Angels. Fact was that the fallen Angel visited for the first time after he was cast out of heaven. Kamijo could only guess what his arriving was all about.

„How far has he come?“ Kamijo wanted to know.

“He’s still in front of the borders and hasn’t tried to enter yet.”

“Good. We’ll meet him there. Get Ruki!”

“Yes!” Some of the Cherubs left and Kamijo turned into the meeting hall of the Archangels.

“KAMIII!”

The Archangel of water was within reach immediatel. “We're here.” Behind Kami were hide, Kyo and Mana. “What about the Seraphim?”

“We won't endanger them. Not yet.” Fact was that the Seraphim were the holiest Angels because of their talents and honestly, they were no fighting Angels. So Kamijo rather kept them out of it. “Let’s go.” Kamijo said and the Archangels followed.

They crossed the long marble hall down to the portals where the Cherubim stood behind the boarders with their spears. It was an unbelieveable sight to see, a hundred of armed Angel soldiers ready to attack any time necessary. Heaven's force could be as merciless as hell in case of war.

Kamijo stepped through the crowd of soldiers and showed himself in front of the large portals of heaven. The Portals opened and in between the sphere of heaven and transition, stood the Master of Darkness, Sugizo. He earned himself quite a title since he started 'working' for the other side. Sugizo was the third most important member of hell, standing in direct command underneath the devil's son Kirito. But Kirito wasn't present, seemed like Sugizo did the dirty work.

Among the Cherubim were Die and Hizumi. Die froze by the sight of Sugizo, so it was really the Angel he saw on earth. His former Guardian Angel really became a Demon.

But Sugizo wasn't alone. Two higher-ranked Demons accompanied him. And all three of them didn't look very happy. With a stern glare, Sugizo looked back at Kamijo and Metatron asked him:

“What do you want?” Kamijo asked coldly and held his arms crossed over his chest.

Sugizo smirked. “You’re acting so cold, Kamijo. Unbelievable we worked together once…”

“Once.” Kamijo added dryly. Tension filled the air.

“I want to have a word with you in private.”

“Why?”

“It's about the prophecy.”

Lucifer couldn't have been more open. Kamijo narrowed his eyes and motioned the Cherubim to take down their weapons. “Truce during your stay if you and your friends guarantee the same.”

“Of course.” A cold smile crept over Sugizo's lips and the portals opened.

Hizumi didn't like it and neither did Die. It was the unreadable glare in Sugizo's and his friend's eyes. The Cherubim looked at each other, giving a silent agreement to observe the Demons closer than necessary. Among the Cherubim, invisible for all the other Angels and Demons, was the secret weapon of heaven. The so called 'Demon Angels' observed the ongoings too and scanned the Demons as good as possible.

'They are pure evil.' Reita said to Shinya.

'Which one could be dangerous?'

'The mute one. We better keep an eye on him.'

Shinya tried to made out his dark energy but couldn't grasp it. The Demon seemed to neutralize all kind of energies. 'The mute one neutralizes everything to his benefits. He has no personality, no name...' A word came into Shinya's mind. 'He is Zero.'

'He is. And the Demon right next to him is Tsukasa. A cold hearted Demon who in fact changed sides with Sugizo when he fell from grace.'

'Tsukasa used to be an Angel?!'

'A Cherubim to be exact.'

'Dear Lord....'

 

Lucifer and his Demons stepped through the portals of heaven after they have been allowed to enter. Without allowance no Demon was able to enter. It was the other way around in hell.

Kamijo, followed by the Archangels and a dozen of Angel of Revenge, guided Sugizo and his two fellow Demons into a conference room inside the holy halls.

“Of course my subordinates will take part in our conversation as well.”

“Just like mine.”

The portals to the meeting room closed, guarded by the Cherubim Angel of Revenge outside. On one side of the table, Sugizo, Tsukasa and Zero took their places. On the other side the Archangels and Ruki. Kamijo sat on the end of the table. A mighty group gathered, able to judge over the destinies of uncountable souls.

“Why did you come here and why now?” Kamijo looked at Sugizo who seemed quite amused to be back in heaven.

“Maybe because we received similar idications like you did. Demons, reporting about visions and possible apocalypses, prophecies in old books... rings a bell?”

Kamijo moved back in his mighty chair and crossed his arms over his chest unpleasantly.

“So you know about….” Kamijo stopped.

“- the teleporter.” Sugizo ended Kamijos sentence.

“We call it cross.”

“Same to me.” Sugizo said, making a nonchalant gesture. “You surely understand that I'm not keen to use the word.”

Kami rolled his eyes and Tsukasa fixed him immediately. He seemed to be a highly alert Demon with a keen sense. But when it came to a glaring contest, the moody Archangel Kami always wins. Tsukasa looked away with an arrogant look.

“I guess you haven't found the destined carrier yet. Otherwise hell would have heard of you.”

“And I guess it's the other way round in hell too?” Kamijo asked back.

“We all know that a creature, carring the gift of being a teleporter, could enter each world without boundaries. Not to mention what other powers it could possibly posess. I guess the consequences are clear: No matter which side finds the carrier, there will be war.”

Murmurs and whispers changed to loud arguing voices. Conversations and assumptions made it unbearable to continue the conversation. That was when Ruki stood up and started to speak.

“There will be no war.” It was his mere presence and power in his words which silenced the crowd.

“How so?” Sugizo asked him. “You surely must know that there can be no peace with one side in posession of such a powerful thing.”

Ruki nodded. Sugizo had a point and Ruki understood the situation they were in. As an observer of Karma, instantly studying all kind of Akasha-chronicles over the decades, he knew just too well how living beings behaved in case of posessing too much power. And he came up with an idea long before this meeting had started.

“We will seal a contract.”

“Oh great, a contract made in heaven!” Sugizo added sarcastically.

“With the same conditions for all.”

Sugizo thought about it before he answered. “Go on.”

“No matter which world finds ‘the cross’, each world has to destroy it. And if this world refuses to kill the carrier, one mighty Angel, or in your case Demon, has to die too. This volunteer’s life will be sealed to the contract too. If someone breaks the contract in keeping 'the cross' longer than one day, this volunteer will die too.”

Kamijo wondered when Ruki made all of the contract conditions up. But he couldn't argue about the contents. They seemed justified. But the Archangels looked either stern or concerned.

Tsukasa looked back at his Master, waiting for an answer while Zero seemed to do nothing else than being physically present in the room.

Sugizo cleared his throat after thinking about it thoroughly. “Sounds like a plan but who guarantees me that heaven won't cheat with that contract?”

“I guarantee you with my life.” Ruki added. That was a promise made by saying it. Kamijo stood up stunned. “Ruki? What do you think you're doing?!”

“The right thing. If it’s my death to keep peace that will do.” Ruki looked back at Sugizo who was still in thoughts but slowly started to nod.

“All right, I think that will do.”

“Then tomorrow, same time, same place. Come with a higher-ranked volunteer Demon to sign the contract. And we will take part with a higher-ranked Angel to sign it, plus Kamijo.”

“WHAT?! We never discussed that before!” Ruki looked back at Kamijo with his deep glaring eyes. “If Lucifer signs it as the highest ranked Demon, you will have to sign it as well. Plus the life of an volunteer as a guarantee. That’s only fair for both sides and hell can be sure that we are serious about it too.”

Although Kirito was the son of the devil, Sugizo was in full charge of all business dealings concering hell. Everybody knew that. And if they all kept to the contract, nobody would die anyway.

“Tomorrow, same time. That’s a promise.” Sugizo added and he nodded at Tsukasa and Zero to be ready to leave.

The doors of the meeting hall opened and all the attendances left, the Angels of Revenge following them too, back to the borders of heaven.

Die and Hizumi saw the crowd coming and took their positions at the gate. When Sugizo was within reach, Die felt how a thought entered his head and he let it in. It was Sugizo whose link to him still seemed not entirely broken. Nevertheless, Die was shocked that his old Guardian Angel adressed him so privately.

'A shame to see you as their watchdog of the gates, being all obedient. I haven’t looked over you to bring you _that_ far. I’ve had so much for you in mind.'

'You've made your choice Lucifer and I've made mine. Free will, you should know it best.” Die gave a slight smirk.

Sugizo changed to another concerning topic. 'He’s killing you again…' He beamed when Die’s expression gave him away. Die knew immediately who Lucifer was appealing to.

'What do you know?! I swear if hell did something to him, I…!'

'Hell? I don't think so.' Sugizo stepped through the portals with his two Demons. But before they left he sent out one last thought to Die: 'We are all slave of our own feelings. But some use these powers to rule and some to get ruled.'

And within a moment they were gone, back to hell where they came from.

Still disturbed about what Sugizo told him mentally, Die couldn't help himself but recognized that Hizumi looked agitated about something too.

“Hizumi, everything all right?”

“I hate this creatures.” He stammered and gave Die a sign to be okay.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hakuei wanted to leave the shore immediately after the lake turned into stone but Toshiya vehemently refused to leave. Little did he know that Toshiya shared powers with the water creature.

Serious about his job to protect his protege, Hakuei tried to pull him away but Toshiya struggled and called him off.

“But there is nothing you can do!”

“Well, maybe I can!” Stubbornly, he pulled himself free and stormed towards the lake again.... Hakuei had an inkling that this could end badly.

Toshiya touched the frozen surface of the lake and immediately closed his eyes in shock when a pain of visions shot through his head, feeling like splitting his head in two. An invisible force tossed him back into Hakuei and they both landed hard on the grass.

Helplessly, Hakuei held the crying bundle in his arms, shocked about what just happened and the result of it. Toshiya's arms looked like being burned, his moaning and wringling confirming Hakuei's theory. Clumsily, he tried to comfort the harmed Angel but how could he? Toshiya needed to be healed.

With a dull echo, the lake started vibrating and within a moment went back into its liquid state. It was strange to observe how Toshiya reacted towards the water. He stopped crying the same moment when he fainted. Hakuei started to scream for help and a head popped out of the water.

“Bring him to me.” The creature said.

“Who are you?”

“Just a friend.”

“You won’t harm him, won’t you?”

“Never.” Daisuke stretched out his wet arms and touched Toshiya's wounds. “That was too much for you, I'm sorry.” He lay his hand over the young Angel's eyes and after removing them, Toshiya slowly opened them again. A sound of relief from Hakuei who still held onto him, his grip thightening by the luck of having him back.

“What happened?” Toshiya whispered, seeing Daisuke swimming in front of him.

“You shouldn't have touched the surface. It was my fault, I should have told you earlier. I'm so sorry about that, it's unexcusable.”

“It was my fault to touch it.... Don't get worked up about it.”

Daisuke's feeling of guilt clearly showed in his eyes. He nod at the two Angels and left shortly afterwards. Toshiya felt strangely exhausted and powerless but the well known coldness mixed up with a warmth coming from behind his back. An arm slowly encircled him from behind and _his_ chin rested on Toshiya's head.

He felt unknowingly peacful for a moment until little drops rolled down his hair and onto his chest. Were those tears? By the realisation that Hakuei cried silently into Toshiya's hair, something inside of him felt like breaking.

“Tell me….” Hakuei whispered. “How can I ever protect you if you even get harmed in heaven?”

It was the first time for Toshiya to return a touch. It happened automatically and felt right this moment to do so. Hesitantly, he stretched out his hand rested on Hakuei's arm. The cold fingers leaving imprints on the tattoo colored surface, a respond the older one of them never knew to have yearned for.

“You can’t always protect me. I have to take care of myself too.”

A nod against the silky, black hair. “When did you become so strong?” It was a husky whisper which was answered by Toshiya with an almost merciful smile. He left the embrace by his own strength and gazed into the distance of the lake. “Something big is coming up. I can feel it.”

And in that moment, when the sun reflected Toshiya's shadow over Hakuei behind him, the young Angel seemed to have grown and it was Hakuei who felt weak all of a sudden.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After the unwelcomed guests from hell had left again, a never ending discussion broke loose underneath the big lake, inside the holy halls. All the higher-ranked Angels discussed about the upcomming peace treaty they would have to sign a day later.

Kamijo looked at Ruki. “Are you sure about the contract's details? We could still cancel it…”

“To gain hell's trust we have no choice but to let the volunteers sign as well.” Ruki never overthrew his decisions.

“Who will volunteer?” Kami asked and looked around the table into silenced faces.

“That's not so easy.... The decision must be strategically good-” Ruki added.

“I'll do it.”

The crowd looked back at an Angel who hardly ever talked. Kyo.

“But Kyo…” Kami was obviously surprised and so were the others.

“It’s just like Ruki said: If the cross gets reborn in heaven we have to kill it and everybody survives. If the cross gets reborn in hell, no one of us will die anyway.… and besides: I'm not afraid to die into eternity. It would mean eternal rest. Sounds good to me.”

Hide wondered about Kyo being philosophical.

Kamijo stood up after Mana was done delivering a message to him. “I guess it's time to tell the other higher-ranked Angels about the Prophecy. I will personally tell the Angel of Revenge and order them to kill the cross as soon as it is reborn in heaven.”

They were Angels and talked about killing. Some Angels in the room didn't like the idea of it but kept their mouths shut anyway. Right now nobody knew what consequences an awakened teleporter could bring and 'erasing' it seemed like the only solution.

Kamijo cleared his throat. “I will summon the Seraphs to join this meeting immediately.” Whichw a a rare thing because they were the holiest Angels and hardly ever seen during conferences. Another convenient bonus was Aiji, one of the Seraphim who possess the power to direct moods and right now everybody was highly tensed.

“.... the good old Angel of light and love…” Kyo whispered monotone but Hide got his mood immediately and blinked back at him. “I bet you can't wait to see 'cute' Kai again....”

Two Angels in the room were painfully touched by Hide's words but it was Kyo's silence which gave him away.

“Kami,” Kamijo adressed him, “I will get the Seraphim, you go fetch the Angels of Revenge. Meet you back here in a minute.”

“Got it.”

And the two Angels left the others back in the conference room waiting.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hell's castle was a magnificent place, completely out of black marble stone and red carpets throughout the endless corridors. All the furniture were out of dark wood, the doors were heavy and large, the corridors decorated with statues and pictures of fantasy creature and the last battles.

Sugizo's energetic steps halled through one of these corridors, followed by Tsukasa and Zero. They just arrived from heaven.

“What do you think about the contract?” Tsukasa looked at his master.

“Why should I care about some contract?” Sugizo was clearly annoyed. “This hypocrites of Gods army… preaching about love but they were the first which offered to kill the teleporter.”

“But you’re not planning on destroying the teleporter, are you?” Tsukasa kept on asking.

“No matter where the teleporter will be reborn, we have to make him work for us. And then it won’t matter if there is any war, victory will be ours.”

The three of them stopped in front of another large door which opened on its own. They entered the empty room and as soon as the door closed, several stairwells appeared. The whole room was filled with them and each one guided into another direction. Unerring, Sugizo took one of the stairwells and the other two Demons followed.

“But the contract…”

“I know….” Sugizo said. “We have to sign it to make them trust us.”

"Who would be stupid enough to sign as volunteer?”

Sugizo smirked. “We will find one.” The Master of Darkness thought about something before he turned his attention to Zero. “Have you found something out?”

“Nothing yet.” A deep, monotone murmur.

“You will accompany me tomorrow into heaven again.”

“But they don’t know it either…”

Sugizo stopped climbing these hideous stairs and adressed his servants: “Follow me.” He unfolded his bony, leather-like wings and with a stroke, he flew up the entire stairwell. Tsukasa made a face at Zero, they both opened their wings as well and followed him onto the higher-ranked floor. Sugizo shared this floor only with one other: Kirito, the Devil's son. Everybody knew that he and Sugizo HATED each other. Even after the decades they still argue about the who-is-the-most-favorite-kind-of-thing.

Sugizo walked down the the red carpeted corridor. Heavy iron Chandeliers hung down from the ceiling, torches burned on the walls. The walls itself showed demons, hundreds or maybe even thousands of them. The whole scenery stretched throughout the hall, showing an endless scene of war. Demons dancing through fire, killing people, hunting lost souls and everywhere torture. Scenes out of books and even quotes from the Bible.

At the end of the corridor were another large doors, out of black wood, covered with iron and a devils mask right in the middle of it… a little melodramatic but Sugizo liked it that way. After entering the room it closed automatically behind them again. A long black table with a lot of chairs stood in the middle of the room. Meters of finest red velvet hung down from the ceiling and a big chandelier hanging from the center of the room. Sugizo sat down on the highest chair at the end of the table, Tsukasa and Zero still followed.

“What did you mean with ‘they don’t know it either’?”

Zero eyed Sugizo with his almond shaped eyes. “I tried to contact him but it didn’t work. He didn’t speak to me.”

“You should have tried to make him speak or at least any other higher-ranked in there!” Sugizo exaggerated.

“He wasn’t suited to give information.”

“Tomorrow you will find someone else to 'get in contact' with.” Sugizo rolled his eyes. “These Cherubs. Violent and brainless since forever…. “

“Master, if I might add….” Zero spoke up. “I got the impression that they really don’t know about heavenly spies. Maybe there are none.”

Sugizo laughed out loud. “Of course there are! Heaven always had Demon Angels. I must know because I too invented them in heaven a long time ago. They are very sensible and hard to seek out....” Sugizo paused and stared into empty space, recalling his mental conversation with Die. “... I can't believe it....” He as the Master of Darkness was well-known to be very clever, especially in adding one and one together. “Zero, when we're signing the contract tomorrow you will teleport yourself mentally into the mind of another Angel. The red-head Cherub Daisuke....” Zero nodded. “He was never a good liar, my dear Die…” Sugizo smiled.

A knock echoed on the door and Sugizo yelled to enter. A young Demon entered with sincere steps, his golden hair waving in his walk. His mouth was naturally formed into a big pout, his lovely but stern eyes lied on Sugizo.

“Yuana, perfect timing.”

“I smelled it in the air.” Yuana said with a strange, almost inhuman voice. The answer wasn't strange for his kind of nature. He detected every move, noise and smell around him within seconds.

“Unfortunately, we've found nothing about the Demon Angels. I will order you to go down to earth and search for them there. Maybe they went there and if not, keep your eyes and ears open for anything new.”

Yuana understood his mission. His Master searched for the Demon Angels because he wanted to 'interview' them about the prophecy, maybe they even knew something about the teleporter.

“But first we need a volunteer to sign tomorrow....” Sugizo thought out loud.

“If there is none then I will sign.” Tsukasa added emotionless and stiff as ever.

“No, not you. We need someone else for the contract…” Sugizo stopped talking when loud and insane laughter echoed through the halls. Tsukasa rolled his eyes and even Zero closed his eyes for a moment which was a rare phenomenon because he usually never showed and kind of emotions. Yuana who was the highest sensible of them all even covered his ears.

The laughter arrived inside Sugizo's hall and echoed from corner to corner, as if someone invisible jumped around the room.

“Come on down!” Sugizo shouted out annoyed. The laughers stopped and at the table on an empty chair, features slowly took form and a new arrival took shape. White skin, covered with uncountable black letters, the black hair growing down his shoulders and dark eyes which bore a certain wit.

“You will STOP doing that nerve racking show Miyavi!” But the new arrival had a nervous personality. With his arms and legs constantly moving and hardly keeping his mouth shut, it was a challenge to even exist next to him.

“I promise!” But the face he made promised otherwise. From their neat little gathering, Yuana was the one who hated Miyavi the most simply because he was too nervous and too loud. But unfortunately Miyavi was the carrier of a very rare gift. He was a 'form changer' and able to transform into every living or dead being, even humans, demons and angels.

“You have to come with us tomorrow into heaven Miyavi.” Sugizo started. “I need your ‘second face’ for a signature.”

Miyavi turned his head jokingly around. “What signature?”

“For a contract between heaven and…” Miyavi lifted up his indexfinger, causing Sugizo to stop. “You don’t have to tell me. May I have a look for myself?”

“Fine, pick one.”

Miyavi looked from Zero to Tsukasa. Zero looked labsentminded ike always while Tsukasa tried to hide his annoyance. He just _knew_ that Miyavi would pick him to read his memories. And Miyavi LOVED Tsukasa just BECAUSE he was so arrogant and annoyed of him. About Zero he couldn't care less and it was the other way round. Maybe it was because Zero shared a smiliar gift. Zero himself was kind of a mind reader too. He could slip deep into any mind and control and read their thoughts but he was not able to change physically into someone. While Zero teleported his mind into someone else his physical demonic body could remain somewhere else.

When Miyavi turned into someone else or read thoughts, he disappeared completely. Just like now.

Tsukasa stiffened and closed his eyes. For a moment his body hung lifeless in his chair before he regained self-control again. The only thing that gave Miyavi's presence in Tsukasa's body away was the changing of the victim's eye color. And his eyes turned into ice blue at the moment.

Shortly afterwards Miyavi took shape on his chair again and Tsukasa relaxed.

“I understand.” Miyavi said in an untypical serious tone. “So you picked me as the volunteer?”

“Exactly.” Sugizo said.

“But which face do you want me to wear?”

“The one of Kiritos’ counselor and bodyguard: Uruha.”

“AHAHAHAHA!” Miyavi laughed out loud. “You’re disgracing me! Wearing that mule’s face!”

“Quiet!!! No one MUST know about our plan or I can kiss Kirito's throne good-bye even before our conspiracy has started.”

Behind all the contracts and prophecies these were Sugizo's true intentions. He wanted to bring about Kirito's downfall and the 'teleporter' was a nice gimmick he wanted to posess to make his plan work. The others supported him because they were promised to raise in demonic rank when Lucifer would claim the throne.

Kirito was a strong and humorless Lord with even less servants. Very suspicious of everything and everybody so Sugizo decided to start with his servant Uruha.

“There is a lot to do. Yuana, you go down to earth immediately.” Sugizo said and Yuana nodded. He stood up from his chair and started running. He jumped into the air and when he landed again, he had turned into a huge wolf with golden hair.

With high speed the wolf ran out of the hall, his tail flowing with the moves he made and the sounds of his mighty paws on thick carpet slowly disappeared. The delicate Demon was a strong wolf which made quite an impression, a terrifying one.

“I love it when he does that.” Miyavi pointed at the direction where Yuana had run off to.

“Anyway, the three of us will discuss how to exactly proceed tomorrow. Miyavi, pay special attention!” And the three Demons gathered closer around Lucifer to work on the perfect plan.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Later the same day, news came like a shock to all the young residents and Guardians in heaven. All protege would be sent down to earth the next day in the evening which was way ahead of schedule and provoked even more gossip and speculations among the residents.

Ryutaro almost had a nervous break down in Aoi's arms. The young couple had just reunited in heaven and now they had to separate too soon again. It took all of Aoi's persuasion skills and even more strokes to calm the petite Angel down again.

But no one else was so afraid of going down to earth once more than Toshiya. When they got the news he felt completely empty at first, changing into anger and leaving a numb feeling behind at last. Toshiya slowly reached the point where he couldn't care less. It would happen anyway... or maybe it was only a ridiculous way to restrain his fear.

Hakuei wasn't less shocked although he knew that the protege had to go to earth the following week anyway but the next day came just too quickly.

“I wish I could stay here forever... isn't it ridiculous?”

Hakuei shook his head. “Nothing ever stays the same.”

“I'm so scared, I feel like suffocating, I-” Strong arms encircled him from behind and his words stuck in his throat. He gave up, gave into the embrace and granted it.

“You have to trust me. I'll be watching you.”

A blush followed by a sincere nod. Was it possible that closeness made brave? When did it start that feeling this warm arms wrapped around his body became normal? And where did that thought come from that he might miss these warm embraces during cold nights?

This night Toshiya didn't move in his sleep, afraid to drop the familiar weight on his waist.


	17. Chapter 17

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 17

 

_Attack of ghosts and illusions_

 

 

Soon they would leave heaven for earth.

And Ryutaro was more clingy to Aoi than ever. He was his mentor, his protector, his lover. Strong and beautiful, a little composed sometimes which made him only more sexy. There was no decision, no thought or idea Taro wouldn't discuss with him before acting. In Aoi's wisdom he always trust, in his power it was irresistible to rest.

And the love was good. God knows their last lifetime on earth was tragic but devoted and sincere. Sometimes, when the sun shone onto Aoi's deep black hair, with his gaze wandering off into the distance, Taro imagined him in his last life time with the olive toned skin, the wordless warrior with great power but even greater wisdom in holding it back. He trusted his Guardian blindly and was scared to leaven him for the new, wide world. Aoi had always been there for him but now it was time for Ryutaro to get his own protege, to become responsible for another living being and that's what he was afraid of. He would rather stay with his beloved and get pampered by him. But at some point they all had to leave to gain experience. Everybody said that getting an own protege meant 'to grow up'.

He would have rather stayed in this strong, warm arms which hold onto him tightly only a few moments ago. The hot voice against his hear making him shiver, the warm lips too addicting, to demanding on his little mouth and over his whole body. Aoi could be greedy but Taro always gave in with with great pleasure. There was no physical love in heaven like on earth but the touches didn't feel less 'alive' neither. Something was always amiss in heaven and being human made other things possible. Although the protege stayed Angels during their temporary visit on earth this time.

Taro sighed on his way to Toshiya. They wanted to meet up after school and on his way he wondered what kind of person his own protege could possibly be. The persona of a new protege was chosen by Ruki and no one was able to interfere or make wishes about it. Everybody received a matching soul, a human important for their personal growth and in return they helped this human to develop too. All Taro hoped for was that his new protege would be nice.

“Thank you for spending your little free time with me, considering that we have to leave tomorrow.” Taro said on their way through the castle and Toshiya seemed to be surprised about it.

“Sure, why shouldn't I?”

“Well I thought you would have rather stayed with Hakuei, enjoying the remaining time together.”

“What's Hakuei got to do with meeting a friend?” Toshiya's smile was innocent and unknowingly. And Taro realized that 'it' may never occurred to Toshiya what kind of relationships Guardian Angels and protege could possibly have, next to the fact that Toshiya seemed to be completely blind because he was still too consumed in his own little world.

“Anyway!” Taro changed topic. “I will miss you so much! I would have loved to meet you on earth but in all probability we will be separated.”  
  
“What?! But I wanted to stay with you! It would have been so much fun...”

“I know but we have to go to where our protege are living, means we're most likely separated.”

The word 'protege' weighed heavily on Toshiya's soul. He could hardly handle himself and taking care of another living being now? A scary thought but if heaven wanted them to they could only oblige.

Startled by a door being loud shut, the two Angels stopped in their tracks. A furious, young Angel crossed their path and his face wore the usual death-glare. It was Ni~ya. But the glistening on his cheeks unmistakeably tears. Taro and Toshiya felt like caught in the situation. It would have been rude to simply ignore him but asking him about it seemed nosy too.

An unknown feeling of compassion rushed through Toshiya. Maybe it was the hurt in the Angel's eyes, the vulnerability and loneliness he could clearly see now. All things Toshiya wasn't unfamiliar with. How come he never realized it before?

In reflex he turned around and called out for Ni~ya but he didn't react. Toshiya called for him again which made him stop a few meters away. He hissed. “It's none of your business!”

“Since we're caught in the situation, it is actually.”

Taro was astonished about Toshiya's appearance. Not that he was ever immature but he acted so grown-up and responsible. An unknown strength seemed to come from within him.

Ni~ya gave a fake laugh and pulled up his head condemnatory. “So you are the one who's with Hakuei....”

Surprised about the change of topic, Toshiya answered dumbfounded. “I am. Why?”

“Stay.away.from.me. Do you understand?”

Ni~ya didn't wait for an answer. He turned on his heel and left the two perplex Angels behind.

“What was that all about?” Toshiya wondered.

“How rude of him! I'm afraid he doesn't like you.”

“Oh thanks very much Taro.”

“Who knows? Maybe he’s madly in love with Hakuei and tremendously jealous of you?” Ryutaro mocked him but Toshiya shrugged it off.

“Very funny Taro. Come on, let's go.”

During their turn through the garden, Ryutaro turned even more quiet than usual, deeply thinking about many things. Toshiya noticed it of course and wondered why Taro called out to for a meeting on this last day in heaven.

“You seem not very happy?”

“Happy? Surely not....” Taro answered and the smile on his lips was forced, next to painful.

“Want to tell me?”

“I'm afraid of leaving heaven and Aoi. I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. But you....” Taro looked up to Toshiya. “You're taking it so easily, I wish I could to that.”

Toshiya though laughed uneasily. “I do? Maybe I seem composed but truly I'm scared too.”

For Taro, Toshiya was something special. He never knew what happened to Toshiya on earth or how circumstances were but he sincerely liked him. There was something about his nature which was purely kind and innocent. He made people, souls, feel good when being around them and would never selfishly claim anything from anybody, which was a rare thing in all worlds.

“Toshiya, I'm glad we met.” And he smiled sincerely at him.

“I’m glad too.”

They hugged each other for the first time.

“Let's meet up on earth again.” Toshiya said and Taro simply nodded, realizing that it wasn't only Aoi he would miss.

A sincere hug could leave you with a warm feeling for the rest of the day.

After meeting Aoi in the garden, Toshiya made his way back to the castle alone, smiling to himself because he was sincerely happy about having such a lovely friend like Taro. But a sudden pain made him stop halfway, his vision getting blurry and thoughts changed rapidly. The urge of feeling water came from deep within and with effort, Toshiya slumped down onto the grass in front of a little fountain. Not caring about the strange glares he got, he dived his head into the water and his sense of perception changed immediately. He heard Daisuke calling out for him.

 

_'Hello Toshiya. I'm glad you heard my calls. I know you're leaving this evening but we will be able to communicate on earth too.'_

_'I see. Why is this important?'_

_'I wanted to ask you to report any suspicious changes on earth to me.'_

_'What changes?'_

_'You will know about it soon enough.'_

_'Daisuke, sometimes I have these visions about Angels and Demons fighting.'_

_'…'_

_'Daisuke?'_

_'Listen Toshiya, today I will have to freeze the lake again. Try to stay as far away from the lake as possible.'_

_'What's happening?'_

_'I cannot tell. It's top secret.'_

‘ _You know, I fear that gift that you gave me. It's a large responsibility I-’_

‘ _One day you maybe…’_

 

  
But Daisuke didn’t get the chance to finish his mental conversation, when Toshiya was lifted up from the ground and out of the water. In shock, the young Angel opened his eyes and found himself staring into a pair of gorgeous, white eyes. It was Cherub Hizumi.

“Dear God, you are Shinya’s son! Why are you diving in a fountain?! You scared me!”

Hizumi settled Toshiya down onto his own feet again.

“I'm sorry but do we know each other?”

“I'm Cherub Hizumi, colleague and friend of Die and Shinya.”

Toshiya looked pleadingly at Hizumi. “You know Shinya too?! Please tell me, do you know where Shinya is? I need to see him before I'm leaving this evening.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you. But you are not the only one looking for him.”

“How is Die doing?” Toshiya knew about it and realized for how long he hasn’t seen him.

“We all hope that Shinya will return soon.”

“Return? From what?”

“We don't know it either. Maybe I'm not the one you should talk to about that.”

“I understand.” Toshiya bowed at Hizumi. “Please say hello to Die and my best wishes.” Hizumi nodded and left. Toshiya couldn't help himself but to look after him, his presence just like Die, clearly showing that he was a higher-ranked Angel after all. His wings majestically, his appearance mysterious.

When Toshiya turned around, he gazed into two very familiar eyes and jumped.

“Hakuei! You scared me!”

“I was looking for you but Hizumi was faster.”

“I guess so.... Why are you here?”

Hakuei stretched out his hand, waiting for Toshiya to take it. “I wanted to spend the rest of the day with you.”

Wondering, Toshiya took his hand and was astonished about feeling shy to do so.

“I met Ni~ya earlier....”

It was a mere reaction but a reaction nevertheless.

“... and he mentioned you.”

Just when things started to go smoothly, new obstacles came up. Hakuei turned away his eyes and gave himself away.

“I know you had many lifes before me and I respect that. It's just irritating when I'm encountered with so much hate and not understanding why.”

And saying it out loud, it slowly started to make sense to Toshiya. The glares from Ni~ya, Hakuei acting absentminded the last few weeks.... They must know each other from another life.

“I'm sorry you got caught in the crossfire. I will settle it soon enough but not today.”

An unknown feeling clouded Toshiya's earlier happy mind. A mixture of slight sadness and madness and although he found it rather childish himself to feel that way, he couldn't help it.

Actions often say more than words. A thumb caring over the back of one's hand for example. And Hakuei's hand was always warm when he held onto Toshiya's.

“We've been through a lot together... I never did that with another being before, I never wanted to do that with another being before.”

Toshiya searched for words but everything he wanted to say seemed inappropriate in such a change of moods. He tightened his clutch around Hakuei's hand.

“For that I want to thank you.” Silently, sweet shyness, rewarded with a beam in Hakuei's eyes. “I never thought that I would say this but I will miss you Hakuei.”

Everything happened in slow motion.... how Hakuei pulled Toshiya on his hand close onto him, how he took him into a tight embrace, his heavy arms resting on Toshiya's shoulders, their heads buried on each others necks. And he smelled him, for the first time Toshiya clearly realized Hakuei's smell and made sure to memorize it. Realization set in that he would soon have no more of _this_. And as a response, Toshiya lifted up his arms and hugged Hakuei back tightly.

In the distance, a young, dark haired Angel observed the couple engaging in their hug. It made him feel sick, his heart ached by the mere thought of it. Ni~ya turned around hasty. Anger, sadness and jealousy formed tears in his eyes and it ate him alive.... the thought of having Hakuei lost forever.

But this night, heaven would cry for many stars it has lost.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The next day was a big day.

In the evening, the Angels of Revenge would escort the protege down to earth. But before the youngsters were about to leave, another historical event took place inside the holy halls of heaven. Today the peace treaty between heaven and hell would be signed and no one of the lower-ranked Angels knew about it.

Kamijo stormed through the holy halls underneath the water surface, followed by one of the highest Seraphim of heaven, the Angel of Time. His angelic name was ‘Eth’ but everybody called him Kazuki. He walked next to Kamijo, his long robe blowing with the moves he made and so did his brown Rastah plaits. His intense eyes saw everything and from the three Seraphim, Aiji and Kai being the others, he was something like the spokesperson of them.

Lucifer and his servants were due any minute now and the higher-ranked were understandably more nervous than ever.

“And the lower-ranked know nothing about the contract and the meeting today?” Kazuki asked.

“No, we don’t wanted to raise any panic.”

“Right.”

“And what about the safety?” Aiji asked who of course followed together with Kai.

“Daisuke froze the lake hours ago.”

“Did the rest of Cherubs and Revenges arrive already ?” Kai wanted to know.

“You can be sure of that.” Kamijo answered as he stopped together with the three Seraphim in front of the main portals of heaven. The whole place was crowded by other Seraphim, Cherubim and Angels of Revenge, all waiting for the hell residents to arrive, making quite an impression. Even more impressive was when they all bowed down to them in union.

“We are ready.” Kamijo recognized with a stern glance.

They didn't have to wait long. After a short while, Sugizo, Tsukasa, Zero and Miyavi alias Uruha arrived, materializing in front of the gates. Just before leaving hell, Miyavi took Uruha's form to accompany his master to sign the contract. The disguise was perfect, no one ever noticed him.

“All the effort just for us? I feel flattered.” Sugizo greeted the army of Angels.

“Special occasions needs special care, you know.” Kamijo answered.

Lucifer's eyes wandered over all the faces in the first row. Slightly surprised about seeing the Seraphim and especially the Angel of Time. This Angel was a weapon. The only being able to manipulate and change time. Kamijo seemed to be very serious about the whole thing.

“Enter and follow me.” Kamijo made a sign and the Demons did so. They followed Metatron into the holy halls, followed by an army of Cherubim and Angels of Revenge, next to the Seraphim of course.

Meanwhile, another Angel observed the whole scenery quite suspiciously. Karyu stayed back at heaven's entrance portals, although his leader, Kazu, would have rather have him as a guard in front of the main conference hall.

“I better stay here with the Cherubs Kazu, I don't trust their pokerfaces.”

Kazu nodded quickly before he returned into the halls himself. Karyu on the other hand remained standing in between a dozen of Cherubim who guarded the portals. He as an Angel of Revenge was the only one allowed to 'act', getting kind of violent in case of emergency so he guessed that this place was right for him to be. The tension in the air was almost palpable. Several Angels whispered to each other but most of the conversations took place in their heads anyway.

It was reflex when Karyu looked over to the left side, narrowing his eyes when he saw a familiar red head of Cherub standing next to the portal too, surrounded by other Cherubim and Seraphim. Karyu honestly couldn’t care less about that jerk but it was the red heads puzzled face which got his attention. Now the dumb face even started walking about.

Karyu really wanted to ignore him but couldn’t help himself.

“Hey, Daisuke! What’s wrong?”

Surprised about who was asking, Die stopped in his walk nevertheless. “Hizumi is missing!”

Karyu made a face. He didn't know who Die was talking about. “Maybe he's late.”

“Hizumi is NEVER late.”

And with that, Die left the group and walked off into the halls. Karyu battled with himself whether to follow or not but his profession won over him. It was his job to protect all Angels of heaven, so he followed Die out of duty more than of sympathy.

The halls were enormous, with several branches going off the main tracks, guiding into all kind of directions. Anyone who got lost in here would be hard to find.

“When was the last time you saw him?” Karyu asked.

“About half an hour ago.” Their conversation was pure business, cold and forced. And neither one of them could believe their luck to be stuck together. They really didn’t like each other at all.

 

Meanwhile in front of the boarders in between all the Angels, two invisible Angels observed the whole ongoing with their high sensitive senses, listening into other Angel's heads, searching the invisible spheres for any possible signs. They were on high alert ever since the Demons entered heaven.

^There are three Angels missing.^ Reita communicated with Shinya mental and the younger Angel immediately knew who it was.

^Oh my God! It’s Die… and Karyu.^ He didn’t like the thought of the two of them missed together. Most likely it meant no good.

^They’re looking for somebody…^ Reita went on.

Shinya felt it too. ^Hizumi is missing.^

The two Demon Angels looked at each other before they dissolved into thin air, following the two missed Angels deep into the holy halls.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The highest responsible of heaven and hell gathered in the largest conference hall for a historical meeting. Seated on a long table were Kamijo, Ruki and Kyo as volunteer on one side, on the other side Sugizo, Tsukasa, Zero and Uruha, who was in fact Miyavi in disguise.

Behind the Angels at the back of the room, several Seraphim and Angels of Revenge gathered out of security reasons. The meeting officially started and Seraphim Kazuki stepped forward and placed a golden can on the table, the legendary Can of Time. He tipped onto the top of it and it opened. An invisible force streamed through Kazuki's body and his eyes shone lilac when he opened them again. From this moment on, everything that happened and was said would be recorded into it.

Now it was Ruki’s turn. As Kindel Angel he was responsible for everything written down, so he stretched out his arm and with a wave two empty sheets of paper appeared. He pointed at Sugizo and at Kamijo which caused the sheets of paper to glide over to each one of them.

Sugizo lifted up the sheet of paper but nothing was written onto it. He looked back at Ruki in disbelieve. “It’s empty, what kind of contract is that?”

“Only our names will be written onto it. All conditions will be caught in the Can of Time.” Sugizo looked over to Kazuki who was perfectly able to make his position clear in staring back at him sternly.

“And yes,” Ruki added, “it’s absolutely safe and no changes possible afterwards.”

Sugizo nodded. “You go first.” He looked at Kamijo.

“In the name of God: If the teleporter gets reborn in heaven, we vow to eliminate it to guarantee peace between heaven and hell. I, Metatron, guarantee with my name.” Kamijo made a move over the paper and his name appeared. He handed it over to Kyo who sat right next to him.

“As the volunteer of heaven, I guarantee to sacrifice my life if the promise gets broken.” And Kyo's name appeared with the wave of his hand. He handed the contract to Ruki who kept it in his hand. “Hells turn.” Ruki looked over to Sugizo who spoke up.

“In the name of the devil, hell guarantees to destroy the teleporter if it gets reborn in hell.” A move with his hand and Sugizo's name stood on the paper. He handed it over to ‘Uruha’.

“As the volunteer of hell, I guarantee to sacrifice my life if the promise gets broken.”And the name Uruha stood on the paper. Ruki stretched out his hand and the paper floated back to him.

“The peace treaty between hell and heaven is completed. To a peaceful future.” The papers floated over to Kazuki's Can of Time and they disappeared into it.

When Kazuki closed his eyes and opened them again, the lilac beam had vanished. Sugizo tuned his attention back at Kamijo and Ruki. “Anything else to discuss about since we’re here?”

Kamijo cleared his throat. “I don’t want to provoke anything but we're asking your Demons to leave the young protege on earth alone. We know that Demons wander on earth as well and considering the circumstances we'd appreciate a peaceful living in all spheres.”

A playful smirk from Sugizo and Kamijo had an inkling that no matter how Lucifer answered, he would probably break all the rules anyway. “Like I'm interested in teasing newborn Angels.”

Tsukasa who observed the whole gathering next to Sugizo, observed the higher-sphered Angels interested. The three important Seraphim were of course present, next to them the Leader of the Angels of Revenge, Kazu and several other Cherubim. Miyavi in Uruha-disguise behaved uncommonly calm next to Tsukasa but it was Zero who caught his attention.

His demonic friend was physically present but mentally he was far away, traveling heavenly spheres to look for something. No Angel knew about Zero's ability to do so and usually he did that without other beings noticing it but there was a twitch of his mouth which caused Tsukasa attention. Something happened with his ghost outside his body and they better leave NOW before anybody noticed it too.

Thankfully, Sugizo stood up and 'Uruha' , Tsukasa and Zero followed, his physics working normal nevertheless. They walked back to the borders of heaven and Zero better returned before they leave.

  
Meanwhile somewhere deep inside the holy halls, Karyu and Die turned around in shock after they heard a body slammed hard against a wall. The two of them started running into the direction where the noise came from.

But they weren't the only ones who found out about something going terribly wrong. The Demon Angels arrived shortly before Die and Karyu even noticed it. And the sight they got was shocking. Hizumi wandered the empty side branch in some kind of trauma with no awareness of it. He didn't react to the Demon Angel's voices or touches.... he seemed completely obsessed with something or better said 'someone'.

^Reita! We have to help him!^ Shinya sounded desperate in Reita's head. Hizumi, whose body was pressed against the cold stone wall, shook in painful spasms, his eyes bleeding from the obsession.

^I’m going into him! And you try to hold his angelic body!^ Reita ordered. Although the Demon Angels were invisible to the other Angels, Reita even disappeared in front of Shinya and went inside Hizumi's body. Shinya did as he'd been told and held onto Hizumi's arms. Making contact with the obsessed body, the young Angel noticed that the living spirit of Hizumi's soul was threatened to completely die away. Out of fear and compassion, Shinya sent a thought out to him. ‘ _We will save you, Hizumi_.’

Adding to the pressure, Shinya sensed that Karyu and Die were on their way. Although they couldn't see the Demon Angels, interfering into their exorcism was a matter of life and death.

 

With a sudden stroke of energy, Shinya was thrown against the other side of the stone alley and hit the wall hard with his back. He slumped down to the ground when next to him another being started to materialize. It was the Demon who possessed Hizumi.... Zero.

Hizumi sank lifeless down to the ground.

With fury in his eyes, Reita stomped over to the still weakened Zero and literally held the bastard around his psychical neck.

^You deserve eternal death for harming a Cherub.^

Reita held his hand over Zero’s face but the Demon only snickered. ^I’ve found you, the Demon Angels.^

Shinya was as shocked as Reita was. Only now they realized that it was a trap.

^Goodbye, Demon Angels.^ Zero smiled but before Reita was able to dissolve his evil spirit, Zero deformed himself into dust and glided out of Reita’s hands.

^Catch him Shinya!^

But it was too late. Zero had returned into his physical body and arrived just in time to leave heaven.

Back in the branch alley, two shocked Demon Angels stood motionless on their spots, looking at each other in disbelieve. ^We have to report to Kamijo immediately.^ Reita said but Shinya had his attention at the unconscious Hizumi. He already wanted to storm over to him when Karyu and Die finally arrived.

The Demon Angels retreated and left the heavily wounded Angel to his friends. They had no choice.

Karyu was the first one who acted out of routine while Die stood still in shock, seeing his friend lay there closer to dead than life. Karyu knelt down next to Hizumi and touched his head, feeling his dying energy. Quickly, he picked up the lifeless body from the ground and when he held Hizumi firmly in his arms, Karyu realized that a threatening wound was on Hizumi's back too. At the spot where his wings usually were.... This was so not good, not good at all.

Karyu started to walk, half run the way back of the alley. Awaking from his state, Die followed him.

“What happened to him?!” Die didn't know what shocked him most: The closed, bleeding eyes or the fading energy.

“It took the light out of his eyes.”

“Dear God! Who did?!”

“Mind-readers from hell. We know them. Revenges killed dozens of them during the last world war.”

Die hated Karyu's clinical way of talking. “For goodness sake! He's my goddamn best friend!”

“And I’ll bring him to Kai to get healed! You better report what happened to Kamijo.”

“But why, I-!”

“Listen dumb-head, this is what I'm trained for and you better do what you can right?!”

Die would have loved to punch him right into his stupid face but knew better. “All right, hurry up!” And Die walked into the other direction while Karyu stormed back into another part of the holy halls.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
  
The news Kamijo received from his secret Demon Angels were shocking, next to unbelievably devastating. Not only was it a threat to their just new made peace treaty, the Demon Angel's secret was discovered by a Demon too. Sugizo's servant to be exact. He should have known that Sugizo plotted against heaven again. But for what purpose he wanted to know about the Demon Angels? Kamijo had no idea. Sure, Lucifer invented them together with Kamijo many decades ago but why spying for them now?

Die literally bumped into Kamijo's hall after the Demon Angels vanished and told him the same story. It was a relieve to hear that Karyu was on his way to Kai. He was the mightiest healing Angel in heaven next to a few other very gifted Angels.

Meanwhile down the long corridor of the holy halls, Kazu froze when Karyu stormed passed him with fainted Hizumi in his arms.

“Karyu!! What happened?!”

“Mind-reader!” Karyu added while he kicked a large door open and yelled into it.

“KAI! WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!” A bundle of shocked Archangels looked back at Karyu who stormed to the next hall to repeat the procedure.

“Dear God, was that Cherub Hizumi?!” Hide asked Kyo and Mana looked worried. Kami was nowhere to be seen. He vanished earlier after the meeting was over.

What no one knew was that Kami was 'engaged' elsewhere in an urgent, private kind of business. It was him who claimed Kai for utterly different reasons at this very moment. Too scarce were the moments they shared together, too precious for a couple who freshly discovered each other.

And Kai recalled the first day he ever saw Kami, the Archangel of water. Always moody and with a stern glance but he was fascinated of him from the first moment on. His words often brute and honest but in his heart warm and loving. Kai saw right through the facade and always knew how to 'handle' him. Kami was hot-headed and Kai the lovingly calm spot in his life. Already now they needed each other more than they would have ever imagined. And although Kai belonged to a much higher Angel class, he would never ever mention the fact. They felt equal on another level.

The over-length hair of Kami glided over Kai's shoulders when the much taller Angel bent down to him. It should be forbidden to posses such a pair of intriguing eyes. Kai felt how he lost control of his body, gliding into those arms who desperately waited to hold the fragile Angel.

“Too long I’ve been waiting for you…” Kami's hot voice against his ear, his lips gliding down Kai's cheek who closed his eyes hazily, stammering excuses which even sounded stupid to him.

“Now is not the time for-”

Kami did him the favor and slowly covered Kai's mouth with his lips. The smaller Angel gasped surprised by the intimate contact, the taste of him, the sensation. His head and rational thinking lost in sweet feelings, his hands reaching up to Kami's masculine face automatically, pulling him in even closer. Their kiss deepening, becoming more demanding, Kami secured the fragile Angel with his arms at his back, pulling him close to his form, wanting to devour him.

It was their first kiss.

  
And the world seemed to turn just around them. This moment belonged only to them. Their angelic bodies and souls uniting, feeling each other....

When the door to their deserted hall was harshly pushed open and a loud voice yelled into it.

“KAI? ARE YOU THERE? WE DESPERATELY NEED YOUR HELP!!!”

The kiss abruptly came to an end behind the curtain where they were hiding. Kami looked back at Kai, pleading with his eyes not to answer the call but Kai couldn't help it. He wanted to step forward from behind the curtain, when Kami pulled him back at his wrist, their faces close to each other, their lips only inches away.... A quick, torturous kiss from Kai before he elegantly pulled away and walked from behind the curtain back into the room.

And he started running when he saw the harmed Angel in Karyu's arms.

“It was a mind reader.” Karyu said, even his face showing signs of worry.

“I see.” Kai answered with a trembling voice. “Lay him down! Right here! There's no time left!”

Karyu did so and moved back to give Kai enough space. The Angel of Revenge jumped when he suddenly found Archangel Kami standing next to him. Where he suddenly came from, Karyu had no idea. Kazu greeted him too.

Kai laid his right hand onto Hizumi’s chest, the left one over his harmed eyes. He closed his eyes and murmured phrases to himself, trying to unite his spirit with the one from Hizumi, exchanging living energy with him but it was no use. Kai winced when he saw the last pictures out of Hizumi’s memory. It was brutal and painful.

“You, O Lord, are mighty forever!” He said out loud the holy words. “Athah Gibor Le-olam Adonai.”

But Hizumi didn’t react. Kai started to panic, he couldn't lose him! Not like this! He repeated the words but still nothing happened. Kai moved over Hizumi’s body, one knee on each side of him and opened his six wings. He encircled the harmed body with his wings, his hands resting on Hizumi's chest. That was when he felt where Hizumi had been poisoned.

“The Demon went straight to the life source of his wings! I need another wing healer! NOW!!”


	18. Chapter 18

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 18

 

_Carried back into old dimensions_

 

 

Hizumi was closer to eternal death than anything else. Kai desperately tried to save his life but the damage was just too much for him to cure alone. From wringing in pain, Hizumi changed to resting still on the ground which was no good sign at all. Even Karyu seemed concerned and didn't leave them alone.

It was Kami who suddenly stormed out of the hall, promising that he would be back soon.

Toshiya was totally taken aback when Archangel Kami stood in front of his door. Without any explanation, he pulled the surprised Angel outside the castle, flying back together with him to the holy halls. Hakuei could only witness his protege being kidnapped, all shouts and questions remained unanswered.

“Kami-sama! What's the matter?!” Toshiya tried to catch his breath when Kami pulled him inside a large conference hall. Toshiya has never been inside the holy halls before but there was no time to admire the beautiful splendor.

His question was bitterly answered when Kami shoved him past the present Angels... and he looked into Hizumi's chalk white face on the ground. Karyu stepped aside and so did the rest of the Archangels who had followed into the room earlier.

“He's dying!” Kai panicked. Without an explanation, Toshiya immediately saw the damage on Hizumi's astral body, the poisoned aura. A gift only wing-healers possessed.

“We have to turn him around!” Toshiya said and after Karyu helped them too, both healers positioned their hands over Hizumi's back. Toshiya felt how his vision blacked out, his spiritual energy merging with Kai's incredibly strong energy. Together they concentrated on Hizumi's harmed wing-spot and then they saw it: The poison circling through Hizumi's life-stream. They pulled it out with white healing energy and Toshiya felt how the taste in his mouth became bitter. He opened his eyes and immediately vomited black slime onto the floor. The faces around him became blurry and eventually he fainted.

The Archangels gasped but it was Kami who caught Toshiya and held him. At the same time he looked at his beloved who looked back at him. Exhausted but amazed about what just happened.

“Is he alive?” Hide asked from behind and Kai nodded.  
  
"You were both great.” Kami said with a smile in his voice. Maybe it was his tone or the amorous gaze which gave him away to another present person inside the room... Kyo. And it felt like a punch into his guts. Surprised about the discovery he just made and the air becoming impossible to breathe, Kyo left the room without another excuse to the others surprise.

Slowly, Hizumi showed signs of life, his limbs twitching and his head rolling weakly aside but he couldn't open his eyes yet.

“He needs to rest. Somebody should carry him back to his private quarters.” Kai looked up at Karyu.

“Me?” This request was far off his duties but the angry gazes he earned because of the selfish question were convincing enough. Karyu lowered down and picked up Hizumi with ease. Nevertheless, he held him carefully in his arms, afraid that he might hurt the fragile bundle. With a nod he left the hall.

And Hizumi was fragile, so light and breakable. Karyu wondered how Hizumi, a Cherubim, became guard at the boarders in the first place. Now and then he twitched in his restless sleep, his harmed body trying to regain strength but it would take some time to completely recover. Karyu knew that an attack from a mind-reader could end deadly very quickly. Hizumi was most lucky but his bleeding eyes earlier were also a point of concern.... some Angels never regained eyesight again.

He concentrated on where Hizumi lived and the path showed clearly in front of his inner eye. Fact was that they never had business with each other before.

Another moan escaped Hizumi's mouth and Karyu tried to console him.

“I will bring you home.”

No answer but the twitches stopped after a short while.

Hizumi's place was the complete opposite of his appearance and status. It was a total mess, not tidied up and stuffed with personal belongings... obviously he lived alone. Karyu had trouble to make his way to Hizumi's bed but after he managed, he lay the harmed Angel into it and covered him with a blanket, just in case. Without a second glance, Karyu turned around but he stopped in his tracks when he heard Hizumi clearing his throat.

“I've heard your voice before....”

“Possible.”

“Please.... I need to speak with Die, it’s important. Could you tell him?”

Karyu rolled his eyes although Hizumi couldn’t see it. Contact with that dumb-head was the least he needed now. “All right.” He said nevertheless and without another word, he left the place. A silent _thank you_ echoed through the room before he closed the door.

Back inside the holy halls, Karyu stumbled over an obviously panicked Guardian Angel. Somehow he had an inkling whom this Angel was looking for.

“You're responsible of Toshiya?” Must be his welfare-day today.

“YES!”

“Don't panic man, your Babe is safe with the Archangels-”Before Karyu ended his sentence, Hakuei was off with a nod. Karyu realized that his day started strangely and was yet not over. Why was it him who had to guide the protege down to earth in the evening?

Meanwhile, Kai observed the peaceful resting Angel in Kami's arms. He couldn't help but to wonder about such a young but powerful Angel.

“Do you know where he belongs to?”

“Yeah, he's Shinya's son.”

Kai nodded knowingly when the door to the Archangel's room burst open and an obviously very stressed Hakuei looked back at them in sudden relief.

“Perfect timing Hakuei.” Kami greeted.

“Is he all right?!” He stormed over to them and held onto Toshiya's arm.

“He's fine, just a little exhausted. Together with Kai he saved an Angels life. You can be so proud of him.”

“I am.” His face clearly showed how happy he was.

“I wanted to bring him back to you into the castle but in a few hours the protege will return to earth anyway. Would you rather stay here with him?”

“I think so, yes.”

Kami placed Toshiya onto a couch inside their conference room and together with Kai, he left the two Angels alone.

Toshiya was deeply sunken into a beautiful dream. He thought that he saw Shinya's face earlier with happy tears, caring over his head, assuring that he loved him and was proud of him. But he really regained consciousness when he felt a well-known touch on his face. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked into Hakuei's sorrowful gaze.

“Hakuei?”

He had no time to explain himself when his Guardian Angel lowered down for a tight embrace, stammering and ridiculously often repeating how worried he was but at the same time how proud. It warmed Toshiya's heart.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Before Karyu could finally take his day off, he promised Hizumi to report something to Die. He stormed through the halls in search of the annoying, lovesick Cherub and sarcastically cheered when he found him nearby Metatron's hall.

“Hey, I need to talk to you.” Karyu said, not trying to hide the annoyed undertone.

“About what?”

“I promised Hizumi to tell you that he wants to talk to you. ASAP.”

“Did he tell you why?”

“It's not my business.”

“You're right… I hate to admit it but you helped a lot today.”

“Won’t happen again.”

Die narrowed his eyes but left the Angel of Revenge with a nod anyway.

When Die arrived at Hizumi's, he was shocked about how his good old friend looked like. They all knew that the attack was hard but Hizumi hardly having recovered after it was painfully obvious. His body in a weak state, his eyes half closed and by the moves he did still blind.

“Hizumi, how are you?” Die seated next to his bed, not as surprised about the mess like Karyu was earlier because he knew Hizumi longer than anyone else.

“Better now but still feeling weak though. I hate this feeling.”

“And your eyes?”

Hizumi not saying a word was answer enough. He knew himself that this attack nearly cost his life. “Thank you Die, for all your help.”

“It wasn't just me. Many Angels were involved. Seraphim Kai and Toshiya finally healed you.”

“Toshiya too? Incredible....”

“But.... you wanted to talk to me?” Die got to the point.

Hizumi nodded and thought about how to tell Die gently. And he decided that the best way was to tell him bluntly. “I’ve heard him Die.”

Like awakened from trance, Die moved forward from his leaning position and looked at his friend in disbelieve. “What are you talking about Hizumi?”

“I mean… I heard his voice. I heard Shinya talking in my head while _this_ happened to me.”

Shock mixed with disbelieve. “What? Are you sure? And when exactly? Did you see him?!”

“When I was possessed by this thing, I felt how someone helped. It was then when I heard a voice which sounded like Shinya.”

“And what did he say?!”

“ _We will save you_. That's all and then I can’t remember a thing.”

Die shook his head. It was frustrating. All this time he hoped for a sign but if Shinya was really involved in such a dangerous matter, this meant no good. If it really was Shinya after all.

“Thank you my friend.” Die touched Hizumi's arm sympathetically.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was nearly time to say good bye and by the hour Toshiya realized how nervous Hakuei got. He stuttered more often which was rare and his moves became slightly fidget. Hakuei left earlier to fetch a book from the Akasha-library. It was necessary otherwise he would have never left Toshiya alone, not after what happened earlier this day.

“I wanted to spend so much more time with you but time goes by so fast.”

“I know... when will we see each other again?”

“After your task on earth is finished. Means meeting and getting to know your own protege.”

“And when will that be?”

“No one can tell. Some return faster than the others. But I will watch you from above until you return to heaven again.”

“That's a relief.” In theory. But his heart started to feel heavy by the mere thought of leaving. In quite a short amount of time he so got used to Hakuei and realized that he completely trusted him. But he wanted to be strong for him, show him that he could manage his life on earth alone. That all the effort and hard work of Hakuei was not for nothing.

“What about the book you got earlier...” Toshiya pointed at it, lying on Hakuei's lap.

“It's the Akasha-chronicle of your new protege.”

Tension mixed with a little curiosity. “Can we read it?”

“Only certain parts of it....” Hakuei opened the book and stopped at the clearly written pages. “Are you ready?” Toshiya was literally glued to Hakuei's lips.

“You’ll go to 21st century Japan…”

Toshiya had no opinion nor valuation about it.

“It says that you’ll have a lot to do. Your protégé is everything else than boring…”

“Is that good or bad?”

“Contains.”

“Is it a female or male?”

“It’s a male.” Hakuei pointed at the name on the page.

“I’ve never heard that name before.”

Hakuei looked back at him and closed the book. “Toshiya, listen very carefully now: Your first task will be to find your protégé in this town and you will have to use your instincts for it. You will know it's him when you see him because from this moment on an invisible bound will be formed between the two of you. It’s very weak at the beginning but you have to work on that bound to grow.”

“But-!” Something very embarrassing almost left his mouth. He wondered what would happen to his and Hakuei's bound but kept shut about it.

“You can decide whether you want to be visible or invisible to him. Either way you can work with your protege. Each state has it's pros and cons.... and the other task will be to get your wings on earth.”

“And how to do that?”

“Your wings will come to you through a special moment. Wait for it. It'll happen automatically.” Why couldn't he just have guessed?

“You are a mighty Angel Toshiya. Both lovely and strong. I bet not half of the protege in heaven reach up to your level. And now, don’t be sad and look forward to the 21st century. Believe me, there’ll be fun as well.”

“It's just....,” Toshiya paused, “You know, I have no good memories left from earth.”

“I know and believe me that your pain is mine too. On the other hand, experience is what made us the way we are. We have to turn weaknesses and pain into strength, there's no other way.”

“You say it so easily...”

Hakuei smiled and stretched out his hand, Toshiya took it.

“It's not easy for either one of us.” And Hakuei guided him outside the hall to the borders where several hundreds of Guardian Angel and protege waited to fulfill their tasks.

The most important high-ranked Angels gathered in front of the borders to say their good byes to the young Angels and maybe one or two soothing words for the several long faces among them. Some were glad to return to earth but a few of them really suffered to be separated from their beloved Guardian. Toshiya found himself in the middle of this scale, Ryutaro almost threw a tantrum by the mere thought of it.

Aoi could hardly walk properly with Ryutaro hanging on him, his face swollen from crying, his body in weak state and shivering. Now and then Aoi had to stop to console his young beloved, only to find him pressing his sad face against his chest again and crying about their fate. Seeing his protege this way made Aoi sad as well and even harder to act composed. It took a lot of sweet words, hugs and kisses to prepare Ryutaro to let go of him.

Meanwhile another pair of Angels watched the whole ongoing from another sphere. The Demon Angels gathered as well but more out of personal interest. Since the day began, Shinya was not himself and confused too. Reita had to listen to his sorrow the whole day over.

'My baby is going into this cruel wide world and I can’t be with him…'

Reita, who has never been emotionally attached to any sort of living being, tried to understand. 'You know he’ll be fine. Especially him, having an old experienced Guardian and a DA as mother.'

'Hope you're right.'

'You'll see. He will return _grown_.'

With a smirk on his face, Die walked towards Hakuei and Toshiya to say his good byes.

“Die!” Toshiya beamed but was sad to discover that Shinya still seemed to not have shown up. Die noticed the change of moods and explained.

“I'm sorry Shinya's still absent. But he would have wanted me to say his good bye's to you.”

“Thank you Die, it means a lot to me.”

Die took Toshiya into his arms and hugged the fragile Angel.”You know that Shinya loves you very much, we love you very much. Be safe Toshiya and we look forward to our reunion.”

“Thank you Die.”

The Cherub tousled through Toshiya's hair and nodded at the two of them before he left again. When he made his way back to the portals, Die felt how the suppressed sadness crept up inside of him again. He would have never thought that Shinya even missed out on this special occasion. Next to the feeling of loss he even felt a little disappointed. His Shinya would have never missed such an occasion. But something in his heart told him that there must be a good reason for all of this and Die was determined to find out, no matter how.

So it was time for the two Angels to say their good byes. Many protege already left heaven, guided down to earth by Angels of Revenge to keep them safe. Soon it was Toshiya's turn.

“I hate to say good bye.” Toshiya's voice getting thin of agitation.

“This is not good bye, more like a _see you soon_.”

“Yes, we will keep it at that.”

Hakuei who held onto both of Toshiya's hands had trouble to let him go and everything played like in a movie when he did so nevertheless. Toshiya nodded at him, ready to go but that was no proper good bye.

“Toshiya!”

Surprised, the young Angel turned around and Hakuei pulled him into a tight embrace. The last time he breathed in the scent of Toshiya's hair and rested a while longer on his shoulder when Toshiya hugged him back. Most of the protege were already gone but Hakuei didn't let go of him yet. When he moved back, he kissed Toshiya onto his cheek and wished him well. Although they were used to hugging, this reaction came like a surprise to Toshiya. Shyly, he whispered a 'see you soon' and vanished behind the portal doors of heaven and was gone.

Hakuei hung his head low and remained standing in front of the boarders just a little longer. Confused about everything and his acting, he finally returned to the castle alone. His actions this day didn't remain unseen. A worried mother observed the two Angels earlier and started to wonder too.

This night many Angels would cry themselves into sleep.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After the portals were closed, Toshiya found himself among Angels of Revenge and Ruki. The Kindel-Angel was responsible to send Angels down to earth and Toshiya realized that Ryutaro was long gone. He didn't even have the chance to say good bye to him.

“Toshiya, you’ll be guarded down to earth by Karyu.” Ruki addressed him. Toshiya was surprised and couldn’t hide it. Why Karyu? Somehow he never felt comfortable around him. He was tall, intimidating and unfriendly. The Angel of Revenge came towards him and Toshiya realized how tall the Angel really was. The young protege must have looked like a scared rabbit as Karyu said to him.

“Don’t be afraid. I’ll escort you down save.”

His words weren't really soothing either. Karyu motioned Toshiya to stand next to him. After he did that, Karyu drew a circle around them with a long spear and said something in a strange language. From one moment to the other they were gone.

They traveled as fast as time and Toshiya found himself floating together with Karyu over a broad night skyline, illuminated by thousands of lights. It was breathtaking.

“Here we are in 21st century Japan.”

They landed on top of a huge building and the wind played with their long hair and Karyu's long cloak. The sound of fabric tousling in the wind was the only noise between them and yet it felt so alive. A new, strange energy seemed to surround them and it wasn't a unpleasant one.

Karyu looked around, concentrated on something before he said: “It’s time for me to leave. There are no Demons or threatening Energies around here. You should be safe.”

The Angel of Revenge turned around and walked over to the edge of the high building. He was about to jump but turned around one last time.

“I want to apologize for my behavior the other day. I didn't know it better then.”

Toshiya didn't get it. “What day?”

“Don't make me repeat it... you know, that day in the meeting hall when somebody shouted something rude down to you and you ran off...”

Toshiya recalled that day inside the meeting hall, where he had to introduce himself to the audience but was embarrassed and ran off.

“So it was you.”

“It was very stupid, I'm sorry about that.”

Somehow it came like a relief. An apology could really mean a lot. Toshiya nodded at Karyu and the Angel really jumped down the building. Shocked, he ran to the edge but moved back when a stroke of heavy wind sent him backwards and Karyu flew into the distance with wide extending wings, the long spear glinting under the moon light.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After the last Angels of Revenge had returned and the boarders were completely shut again, Die called it a day and left his working place. He wanted to return to the horrible place were the last demonic incident took place, where Hizumi was mentally attacked and almost killed. He recalled Hizumi telling him that he heard Shinya's voice in his head on this very moment and his feeling tell him to go back there once more.

Never on earth would have Shinya missed such an important occasion like today. And Kamijo's excuse that Shinya was sealed out of security reasons to a higher sphere was totally unbelievable.

The last time they saw each other they were arguing. How many times did Die wish for them to have parted peacefully. Shinya was mad because Die refused telling him about the rumors in heaven… meanwhile all higher-ranked Angels knew about the rumors, ' the cross', an teleporter being reborn somewhere at anytime and at this time Shinya would have known it anyway... what a senseless argument it was.

In the same branch way where the horrible incident took place, two invisible Demon Angels made their rounds to check for possible intruders. Luckily nothing happened when the portals were opened for the protege to leave today but precautions were better than nothing.

Shinya stopped in his tracks and Reita did too when his friend stopped following. The younger Angel felt that someone came closer and the closer he got the more Shinya recognized who it was. Why did he come back to the scene of crime?

'Reita, we better go.'

Something about Die's aura seemed rather strange, his determined steps scared Shinya. His gaze told Reita that Shinya wanted to run and when Die came closer to the spot where they stood, Reita wanted to pull the young Angel into another side branch..... but it was too late.

Die grabbed into empty space and got Shinya's arm. The young Angel screamed in shock, Reita wanted to pull him back into another dimension but it was too late. Reita disappeared and Shinya's invisible form took shape and his cover was blown. He stumbled from the floating, physicless-form into heavenly dimension again and landed in Die's arms. Shinya was shaking in shock, still not getting what really happened. Still wearing the long, dark cloak, he hid behind his large hood and no one said a word. Only after they got used to the fact, Die slowly pulled down the hood and looked down into Shinya's eyes. His face and eyes were unreadable and he didn't let go of the firm grip he held Shinya into.

“You were there all the time. I knew it.”

Shinya's eyes started to water, although his camouflage was blown, he was so happy to be back with Die and the Cherub couldn't be mad either. He cared over Shinya's hair and pulled the young Angel onto him, holding him tight in his arms.

“You stupid Angel, why couldn't you just let me go?” Shinya sobbed against his throat.

“How could I? You are my life, don't you get it?!” And Die kissed his long missed love, once, twice, showered him with affections.

“I wanted to tell you but I couldn't.” Shinya's voice was full with guilt but Die didn't care. He had him back and that was what counted. How long did he dream of this to happen? Days, weeks…it still seemed like a dream to him and Die forgave him everything in an instant without knowing the reasons.

“And what now?” Die held onto Shinya's tear streamed face.

“I have to speak to Metatron.”

Die wasn't surprised about the answer. “No matter what happens, I’ll keep you forever now.”

Shinya so wanted to believe the words but couldn't unless he had a word with Metatron first. Something like that was never supposed to happen. Die discovered a heavenly spy and their actions would need an explanation.

“It's complicated Die, I really need to speak with him first.”

“Look at you, where have you been?”

A strange voice echoed through the corridor. Like being discovered, they both turned around and looked at where the voice came from. And they easily could have guessed.

“None of your business, Revenge.” Die snapped back. It was Karyu who miraculously returned to the scene of crime too. He came towards them.

“Just because you’re a Guard of the Boarders doesn’t mean you’re smarter, dumb-head!”

Die changed into fighting-mode within seconds. He let go off Shinya and pulled the younger Angel behind himself.

“No Die, wait! Don’t!” Shinya tried to hold his lover back.

“I’m so sick of your arrogant attitude!” Die hissed back.

“Look who’s talking! Maybe you're just too blind to see who's doing the dirty work. While you Guards are shining at the portals, we Revenges soil our hands with the real stuff. Your class only exists for the beautiful fairy tale books-”

Die punched Karyu hard into the face. The tall Angel stumbled but steadied himself with his long spear. He shook his head and collected himself before he picked up Die at his collar. Shinya started to scream and ran in between the two fighting Angels but Karyu shoved him off with ease and the fragile Angel landed on the floor. Die lost it and hit Karyu hard into the face again but the Angel of Revenge hardly twitched and silenced Die when he held his spear pointed against his throat. But Die threatened Karyu nevertheless. “Don’t you dare touching him ever again!!”

“Hah! If you only knew…”

“Karyu!!” Shinya shouted in between which gave him away in an instant. In shock, Die looked back at his beloved. What was this suppose to mean? A numb feeling of shock crawled down his spine, hoping that he was only misinterpreting things. But it was Karyu's dirty grin which made him sick.

“You maybe work in a better position up here in heaven Cherub but for the rest of your days you'll remember that it’ll always be me who had the boy first… or woman in this case.”

Die couldn't believe a single word Karyu was saying. He didn't want to believe it but the moment he said it out loud he knew that it must be true.

Karyu picked up Shinya from the ground and pulled him close onto himself for a unmistakably embrace. Shinya on the other hand tried to fight him off but Karyu was too strong. Die felt like splitting in half from anger and jealousy. He stormed towards Karyu but the Angel of Revenge made him stop when he pointed towards Die with his long spear again.

“Stop right there!” Karyu commanded him. “There there…. Can you feel the jealousy creeping up deep inside of you? Yeah, you can. And it eats you.”

“Let go Karyu!” But instead of letting go, Karyu lay his lips onto Shinya’s mouth. It was not a passionate kiss, with no feelings involved. He simply did it because he could and the answer came right away. Shinya slapped him across the face. Amused, Karyu let go off Shinya who stormed right behind Die again.

“You worthless little-“ Die hissed with a threatening glare at Karyu, more battling with himself to keep his composure and pride together.

“How funny fate can be... Just imagine, it was ME who sent OUR son back to earth today.”

Die couldn't really understand the words Karyu had just said. For a moment he thought that he misunderstood but Shinya's face and all the past things which remained unsaid, painfully started to make sense. Shinya never told Die who the real father of Toshiya was. Seemed like Karyu just did. And this truth tasted bitter.

“Just tell him Shinya or I’ll do!” Karyu shouted out. “But seeing you like that is proof enough. I guess you never knew how Toshiya was actually ‘made’-“

“Stop it! RIGHT NOW!” Die threatened him, his voice sounded thin.

“I’m sorry Die…” Shinya's voice full of guilt and pain. “I never told you because I wanted to spare you the pain.”

The lifetime before they became lovers, Die was with Shinya when he was a woman and gave birth to Toshiya but he wasn’t the father, only the doctor who adopted Toshiya later after Shinya’s sudden death in childbirth.

But Karyu wasn't just done yet. “The boy has my strength and my size. You ever wondered where Toshiya got his physical strength from? He’s totally the father's son. But he has got his mother’s lovely attitude, not mine I must confess. A true wonder how the boy developed under the circumstances he ‘came alive’….”

“Shut it Karyu! It’s enough! I never involved with you voluntarily and you know it!”

“Hah! But you enjoyed it!”

It was Die's turn to defend his lover's pride and he did. He sent Karyu down with an unbelievably hard stroke which made him loose his spear and tumbling down to the ground. Die picked up Karyu's spear and Shinya started to scream. He ran in between the two Angels and stopped Die from moving any further.

“Now stop making a fool out of yourself, for goodness sake!!”

“That dirty asshole raped you….”

“A long time ago and I got over it! I got Toshiya instead....” Shinya touched the spear carefully and finally took it out of Die's hands. Karyu, still lying on the floor observed the whole scenario silently. Shinya switched to communicate with Die mentally.

'He forced me but it is you who owns my heart. We are soulmates. I will always love you and you know that.'

Die tossed the spear aside. His gaze beaming deadly down on him, his lips not loosing a single word. He left that bastard back in the alley and Shinya followed him silently. Karyu smirked at himself, surprised about the attitude Die was able to show. He had to admit that Die scared him just for a single moment. So he got it in him after all.... it was such a kick for Karyu, his senses ran high and his self-esteem grew unhealthily.

Die didn't say a single word and neither did Shinya. After what happened for the first time in his life he was scared of Die's reaction. But it didn't come to that as when they turned around the next corner, a rather surprising Angel waited for them.

“Metatron-sama!” Shinya knelt down in an instant and so did Die in utter surprise.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The air of the night tasted sweet and humid, life, people had changed and it was visible on every corner. It felt so much easier to walk, to see, to capture and to breathe. Everything was so unbelievably fast and yet people moved so awkwardly easy through their world as if it has never been any different. This town was its own little universe... Tokyo they called it. The name itself a drug you could become addicted to. It was your decision whether to survive in it or to drown.

Toshiya was amazed and shocked at the same time about the modern mega-city. Although millions of people were living in it, the streets were more or less clean and so were its residents, speaking into strange devices, everybody living so self-centered and yet everything seemed to work nevertheless. The people were all so beautiful. More or less neatly dressed, hair and faces colored... everything was so much more colorful, even the artificial light. Life in here was busy and Toshiya better kept on going. Though he was invisible, he still tried not to walk through people directly but to bypass them, which seemed almost impossible.

He tried to work his angelic senses to find his protege. He had to life here somewhere but Toshiya underestimated the dimensions on how to find _him_. He thought it would be easy but not with that amount of people. Anyway, he better kept on going. He had to find this Kaoru as soon as possible. The earlier he did, the faster he could return into heaven.


	19. Chapter 19

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 19

 

_What on earth and what the hell?_

 

 

  
  
While heaven was looking into a very old prophecy, a top secret conspiracy took shape down in hell. Strings pulled by the once very mighty, fallen Angel Lucifer, also known as Sugizo. His goal was to lead hell as the representative of the Devil, as Atsushi-sama's adoptive son. But before that he had to bring Kirito, the Devil's only son, to fall. And for that he needed the reborn 'Teleporter' on his side. So at the same time he plotted against heaven AND hell.... as if he ever planed to keep any stupid contract.

The silence was interrupted when a rather disturbed Zero returned to hell from his secret mission in heaven. And the Demon was quite hurt from Reita's mental attack.

“Speak up! What happened?!” Lucifer was as impatient as ever.

“I’ve seen them.” Zero said. “Just like you said. There are two Demon Angels... they almost killed me.”

“A name! Or a face?”

“One name was Reita.”

Sugizo glided back into his velvet chair and worked on the information. He said out loud what came into his mind. “Reita… so the former Seraph has changed his profession…. I should have known.”

The former Seraphim was well known for his high senses and for being a rather strange Angel too. Through manipulating and especially suppressing his senses and feelings, his senses highly developed on a spiritual level. Kamijo knew that and he knew that Reita heard voices and had visions which the other Angels never did. Because he was a medium of God. The only existing Angel with that gift.

Even back in the old times when Sugizo was still in heaven, Reita was well known to be a sadistic Angel but mostly directed towards himself. This Angel was a mighty, silent weapon.

“Did you see the other Angel's face? Describe him!”

“I only saw long, golden-shining hair and a fragile silhouette.”

Tires started to work and after counting one and one together, Sugizo just knew whom Zero was talking about. And it all started to make perfectly sense.

Their meeting was interrupted by the sound of heavy paws coming down the red-carpet corridor. Yuana, the golden haired wolf had returned from his mission to earth. After entering Sugizo's large conference hall, he changed back into 'human' physics.

“Any news from earth Yuana?” It was matter of fact that Sugizo favored his wolf above many others. He treasured Yuana's abilities and his personality of being calm and observant, although he was not very social and preferred to work alone.

“I need to talk to you.”

“Please sit down and tell us all.”

“All right.” Yuana did as he'd been told. “This night the new protégé have been brought down to earth. It was earlier than they usually do. And every single one of them was guarded down by an Angel of Revenge.”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes. So heaven seemed to prepare for something after all.

“There security standards were never this high before.” Yuana added.

“Strange... why are lower ranked, little, innocent Angels…” Sugizo's voice trailed off while he said it out loud. “Yuana....” The werewolf stood up. “You will put together a secret army for earth and get Gackt for this job too.”

Yuana left the room with a nod and changed back into a wolf while he ran out. Sugizo motioned Tsukasa and Zero to follow him but he stopped in his tracks when someone unexpected stood at the door.... Kirito, the devil's son himself.

It was well known that he and Lucifer HATED each other, so most of the time they tried to avoid any encounters.

“My Lord.” Sugizo bent down with his upper body and so did his servants. Kirito dismissed Tsukasa and Zero with a nod of his head. The two Demons closed the door from the outside and realized that someone else waited in the corridor too. Uruha leaned bored against the wall, with his arms crossed over his slim chest. He couldn't even bother about the company because he simply didn't care for lower-ranked. Tsukasa HATED him which was a mutual agreement on both sides. They all knew that it was more looks than talent which payed to Uruha's name. Lucifer knew that and only gathered special talented Demons around him. Any of his fellows could fill in for Uruha's place easily. But Kirito kept to his long-term bodyguard.

“So I've heard you signed the peace treaty in heaven?” Kirito came to the point right away.

“I did.”

“Anything knew since then?”

“I'm afraid no-” Sugizo's words stuck in his throat when Kirito slammed him hard against the wall, holding him there against his throat with one strong grip.

“Don’t you dare ever lying to me…” Kirito hissed. “Or there will be no sphere for you to exist at all. Did I make myself clear, servant?”

Lucifer held their gaze for a moment before he turned his eyes down and nodded in defeated. It took all of his courage to do so because he was no nature to surrender, no matter in what kind of way.

Kirito let go off him. “What did the higher-ranked of heaven tell you when you last visited?”

Kirito's eyes and mind were too sharp to fool. Sugizo knew that and always acted extra careful around him, only telling him what couldn't be used against him. But now he had to feed him something to keep him distracted with something else.

“They threatened us.” Sugizo lied. “Heaven thinks that we’re preparing for a war because some lunatic, little Angels had visions about a new apocalypse.”

“WHAT? An apocalypse?! That's very odd. There are no signs for a new apocalypse.... Listen, you will not interfere into any kind of heaven-businesses before speaking to me. You understand?” It was not only an order but a threat. Lucifer bent his head as an answer and Kirito left the room after he seized the fallen Angel one last time with his penetrating gaze.

Outside the corridor, Tsukasa steadied Zero in his weak state as he threatened to faint out of exhaustion. Their actions weren't unobserved, Uruha looked away annoyed which got Tsukasa's attention. Only shortly before Kirito stormed out, Tsukasa showed him the finger with the greatest pleasure. Uruha bore an amused smile on his lips and lifted one eyebrow, before he pushed himself from the wall and followed his Master back into the higher spheres of hell.

After Tsukasa and Zero reentered their Master's room, they found Lucifer thinking very deeply to himself, his fists balled at his sides and he hardly noticed them.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Only moments after Die had Shinya back, they were momentarily separated again by Metatron-sama. Kamijo wanted to have a serious word with Shinya in private. He dismissed Die right after he discovered the two Lovers inside the corridor. He only knew about it because Reita sent him a vision shortly after the incident. Kamijo found it quite astounding but deduced that it was only possible because they were soulmates.

Die waited impatiently in front of Metatron-sama's hall, a hundred wicked thoughts running through his mind on how they could possibly be punished about whatever Die accidentally discovered. He recalled pulling Shinya out of an invisible state but he had no clue what it was or how he did that. Not to mention what Shinya was doing in this state. Die only hoped that his beloved didn't get punished because of him. It was him to blame. For everything.

Shortly after Die and Shinya were literally snatched off by Kamijo, Karyu returned to the sky castle save and soundly without arising any uproar which was a hard act for him. No matter what happened back there in the alley, he didn't want to be part of any heavenly conspiracies. Shinya was back but how and why at this place, Karyu better didn't bother himself with it.

For him it was just too much fun to aggravate that dumb Cherubim Die. Thinking about it, Karyu didn't know why he hated the Angel so much, maybe because he simply couldn't stand him and his stupid face. He was surprised though that Die really didn't seem to know that he fathered Toshiya in the first place.... maybe it was because of that? Surely a big part of it... but there was no reason although Karyu would have loved to drive the Cherubim insane. He had no feelings left for Shinya whatsoever, although the fragile Angel wasn't dislikable either.

Thinking longer about it, Karyu didn't seem to have any kind of feelings left for anything. It maybe came with his profession. For feelings he had killed too often, done too many things in his past lives. But yet he became an Angel anyway because he proved to be quite effective in defending heaven and weaker ones. And although he would never admit it, the rewarding face after saving someone was worth the trouble. Not to mention that he loved trouble.

Knowing that Die and Shinya were busy with their personal stuff and the higher-ranked with the prophecy, Karyu wondered who looked after the harmed Cherubim Hizumi. Annoyed about the realization that probably no one except of himself remembered Hizumi to be harmed, Karyu entered the strange part of the castle. Everything in this part of the castle was silent, the Angels crossing his path were less and tend to keep to themselves.

Meters away from Hizumi's door he heard noises and things breaking. Karyu started to run and entered the small apartment without a notice. But he stopped in the doorway because the mess he knew from before had grown into a big chaos. There was no place to properly walk and no item which seemed not out of place. Wondering how Hizumi could survive in all that, he made his way to the main room and found all the answers he needed. Still blinded by the heavy incident, Hizumi tried to make his way through the apartment but he failed miserably. His head was clumsily bandaged, his lost strength hardly recovered.

Hizumi looked desperate and helpless. Karyu couldn't recall ever having seen something so desperate before. And before Hizumi was able to knock over another chair, the tall Angel found himself jumping into the mess and catching Hizumi before he hit the ground or anything that covered it.

Startled by the sudden contact, Hizumi gasped. Karyu lifted him up with ease and brought him back into his bed. Silence arose and Karyu felt rather unwelcome. Hizumi turned his gaze down although he couldn't see a thing anyway.

“Why have you returned? Did anyone tell you to look after me or is it some strange quirk to watch disabled Angels?”

“None of the sort.” 

Another pause which brought Karyu enough time to observe the chaos around him but Hizumi got his attention again when he said: “I know who you are. I’ve had enough time to think about it.”

It was totally Karyu not to respond to anything if he didn't feel like it. Instead he asked: “Did someone else visit the past few days?” Hizumi's silence was answer enough. He jolted again when he felt Karyu touching the bandage around his head.

“Don't be scared, just let me see your eyes.”

“Please don't.”

Carefully, Karyu lifted the bandage from Hizumi's eyes and caught the slender fingers with a tight grip when Hizumi wanted to prevent him from doing so. When Karyu continued nevertheless, Hizumi had his eyes closed in reflex.

“It’s strange that you can’t see a thing…” He pulled the whole bandage off Hizumi's head, the black, silky strands of hair gliding down his handsome face. Carefully, Karyu touched Hizumi's chin and he slightly turned his head into direction of the sunlight.

“Try to open your eyes.”

The sun hurt but slowly he managed to open them into thin slits. Hizumi only saw vague colors and silhouettes, not to mention the pain. His eyes were white by nature but not seeing any iris made it difficult for Karyu to judge on the matter. Karyu didn't say a word and let go off Hizumi's face again. He stood up from the bed and walked to the entrance door.

“I will be back.”

And he kept his promise. A short time afterwards he returned with a noble visitor.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Kami caught Kyo in the corridor by chance. He must have seen Kami and Kai leaving his room together which was quite unpleasant for all of them. Kami always knew that Kyo had a thing for Kai. And because it was rather unlikely for Kyo to like anybody, the fact that Kami and Kai were together now must hurt his old friend even more. But they both couldn't help it. They loved each other very much. As for Kai, he never knew that Kyo fancied him _that_ way.

“Kyo, wait….” Kami walked behind Kyo but the Archangel didn’t react.

“Please wait, listen…” Kami jogged to his side and made him stop. “Listen to me! I’m sorry, I know I should have told you, especially you.”

Kyo wore no expression on his face, his tone was as cold as ice. “Forget about it.”

“Please understand, it just happened... between the two of us.”

“I know so don't bother.”

“If there is anything-”

“Kami, just don't.”

The conversation was over and Kyo left Kami behind without another remark.

 

At the same time Kai was busy. Karyu called him earlier for an emergency and Kai knew immediately whom this was all about when he saw Karyu standing at his door.

“He’s right there.” Karyu had brought Kai back with him to Hizumi's place.

“Hello there.” Kai was just as friendly as ever and Hizumi, still sleepy from his nap, was surprised about the familiar voice in his little apartment. Though he never expected Seraphim Kai to visit him personally. He made moves to stand up but Kai told him to rest and he settled down next to Hizumi's head.

“Slowly open your eyes Hizumi.”

Slowly and with great effort he managed to open his swollen, white eyes. Karyu didn't like the look on Kai's face but he observed the two of them in silence.

“What do you see?” Kai asked.

Hizumi spoke very silently. “Nothing, just blurry colors, hardly shapes…”

Karyu still didn't like the look on Kai's face.

“I will transmit healing energy into your eyes. Just lay back and relax.”

Hizumi did as he had been told while Kai lay one hand over Hizumi's eyes. Warm energy formed over his head while Kai murmured phrases in an ancient language to himself. The harmed Angel calmed down by the energy and relaxed, close to fall asleep again.

After Kai was done and Hizumi asleep, he moved towards the door and said his good bye's to Karyu. He whispered to the Angel of Revenge.

“I will visit again tomorrow. Just make sure that he keeps his eyes closed.”

Karyu nodded, wondering how he became in charge of Hizumi in the first place.

“Thank you.”

And with a nod Kai left the place. Karyu exhaled deeply and touched his head. In reflex he turned around to check if everything was alright before he had to leave for work as well. Karyu opened the door when a calm voice asked.

“You're leaving again?”

“Have to work.” Came the short answer.

“I see.... thank you Karyu.”

The Angel murmured in response and left Hizumi's place.

Karyu seriously wondered how it came to all this. The attack in heaven, that dumb best friend of Hizumi, Cherub Die and his problems which finally lead Karyu to be in charge of Hizumi.... and simply because he couldn't help it. No one else seemed to care for Hizumi and he couldn't possibly leave him alone to his misery. Helplessly and hurt…. _those e_ yes.... yes, his eyes were hurt pretty badly. Possibly he won't see a thing ever again but Karyu kept his mouth shut about his presumption. What Hizumi needed now was a miracle next to Kai's help.

Karyu's long day after work was finally over when he found himself walking into a direction he didn't expect himself to. Well maybe he was a 'little' concerned about the fragile, helpless and badly hurt Cherub-Angel. It felt strange how familiar the messy apartment became to him, how an exception became a habit. With ease Karyu tiptoed his way over to the sleeping form on the bed, observing the soundlessly sleeping Angel. He knelt down next to Hizumi's head and took a look at the closed eyes... just in case. No blood tears which was a good sign.

The warm sun which came in from the apartment's window and the peaceful silence were too tempting. Karyu rested with his arms on Hizumi's bed while his legs remained sitting on the floor, observing.... and getting sleepy too. His head rolled aside soon and Karyu fell asleep on his arms next to Hizumi's head on the mattress.

 

The chirping birds and a tender feeling of warm hands on his head woke Karyu the next morning. His angelic body cramped by the uncomfortable position he must have slept in the whole night. Realization set in and he opened his eyes, moving away from the touch on his head. He looked into Hizumi's startled face.

Realization set in and Karyu moved up into a standing position immediately, feeling kind of awkward by the intimate moment he had been caught in. Hizumi smiled to himself but his eyes were still closed though.

The silence grew palpable, no one dared to break the moment until Hizumi finally did.

“It's nice not being alone.”  
  
Karyu left it uncommented. “How are your eyes?”

“The burning pain is gone but I still can't see clearly.”

“Kai will be back soon.” And with that he moved over to the apartment's door, ready to leave.

“Where are you going?” Hizumi asked and Karyu wondered if there was a tone of disappointment swinging with it.

“Work.” He answered simply.

It was Hizumi's face, bearing some sort of disappointment, so many unspoken things shown on his face but Karyu shouldn't care about it, or should he? The tall Angel cursed at himself... _fuck it!_... balled his fist before he stomped back into the apartment and before Hizumi could make out the noise he felt his chin being held up forcefully and cold lips kissing him deeply out of his numbness. Hizumi gasped from the sudden contact but held onto Karyu's face clumsily and responded to his kiss eagerly, moaning against Karyu's teasing tongue and the long needed contact, surprised about how much he wanted to feel Karyu, embarrassed about the realization of his own need.

Hizumi touched his way up Karyu's sharp face, dug his fingers into the wild hair and goosebumps arose when he felt and heart Karyu laughing huskily against Hizumi's mouth from the needy contact. He was so effortlessly sexy and Karyu knew that. That's what made him one sexy bastard.

Since it was him in charge, Karyu pulled back and left a quite dazzled and breathless Hizumi behind. Without another word he left the apartment. Satisfied, Karyu strolled to work with a pleased grin on his face. When he touched his hair absentminded, he found four little pleats inside his longer hair, the result of sleeping on an Angel's bed unattended.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After Kamijo, Metatron-sama, found out that Die discovered Shinya's secret mission as invisible Demon Angel, he called in for a meeting immediately. Shinya was inside Kamijo's holy halls while Die had to wait in front of closed doors.

“It’s impossible… .” Kamijo said in disbelieve.

“I thought so too but it's the truth. Reita and I inspected the scenery of crime where Hizumi was possessed by the Demon earlier and from one moment to the other Die grabbed for me and pulled me back into our dimension... it happened so fast! I couldn’t do anything!”

“Do you think he knows about Reita?”

Shinya shook his head. “No, he was so fixed on me…”

“Must be the reason why he discovered you in the first place.” Kamijo said. “So I guess Reita will be doing the job alone…”

“And what about me? Us?”

It was the way Kamijo looked at Shinya. Some moments passed by before Shinya finally got what his gaze meant.

“Oh no, please… I’m too old for this.”

“Apparently not my Dear.”

“I don’t want to be reborn on earth again! I’ve got so much to do here, to look after so much here in heaven, please…”

“Then that's a clear sign for you to break with everything old and start something new.”

The younger Angel paused and looked nervously down onto his hands. He loved his life in heaven, his occupation, his life here with Die and his son Toshiya.... but being reborn to earth meant to forget about everything, although it was only momentarily until they would return to heaven again. But the mere thought of it hurt nevertheless. Forgetting about Die until they would meet again on earth.

Kamijo stood up and patted Shinya on his head. “It's for your and Die's safety. Things are getting...” Kamijo paused. “.... complicated. I have to get you out of this before everything becomes a mess. You have been discovered as Demon Angel and the prophecy these days... I can't loose you Shinya. I'm afraid that a lifetime in a human body would be safest right now.”

Shinya knew that. “And what about Die?”

“Take him with you. He still has to learn a few things.”

Shinya made a sound of relief. That would mean that they could be a couple on earth again. A comfort in between all this confusion.

“But what about my job as Angel of Life? Who will fetch the new born souls at the Tree of Life?”

“Don't be concerned. I will find a suitable Angel until you are back in heaven.” Kamijo smiled at his favorite Angel before his face became stern and he called out loud.

“CHERUB DAISUKE! ENTER!”

The door opened and Die entered the holy halls. He walked over to them when Metatron gestured him to.

“Cherub Daisuke, these days you have broken three laws of holy heaven.”

Without making a face, Die listened calmly and obediently.

“No.1: You lacked in concentration during work the past weeks because of personal affairs. No.2: You discovered a secret heaven Agent and blew his cover. No.3: You are neglecting work right now and did so many times before. How do you plead?”

Die bent down deeply. “I take full responsibility of all actions and I'm begging you to carry out any punishments on myself instead of Shinya.” He kept his face lowered. “Please, I know I'm in no position to ask for anything but please blame me for everything.”

Shinya was close to tears. Like Die he bent down as well and held onto his beloved's hand tightly.

Without emotions on his face, Kamijo spoke out loud. “I already settled your ‘punishment’ with Shinya....”

Die held his breath.

“... the two of you will be reborn on earth before the protégé are coming back to heaven.”

Die looked at Kamijo in disbelieve. Reborn again? Impossible! After such a long time in heaven back to earth again?

“But there is so much to do in heaven!” Die blurred out loud but silenced in an instant.

A smirk crept over Kamijo's lips. “The same words...” He looked at Shinya who smiled to himself.

“We will accept your decision Metatron-sama.” Shinya bent down and so did Die. They both knew that it was no real punishment after all and Die was relieved about the outcome.

“I will meet the two of you before you’re leaving heaven.” Metatron settled and the two of them nodded. “Now get out and enjoy the remaining time here in heaven.”

“We will.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

On his way to Hizumi's later that day, Karyu brought Seraphim Kai back with him again.

“Kai-sama.... you saw his eyes....”

Kai knew what Karyu was appealing to.

“I will do my best. No Demon will harm any Angel as long as I’m responsible for healing here.”

After a knock, they entered the apartment and found Hizumi trying to clean up his mess.

“Hizumi, you should have rested…” Kai scolded the sweetest way an Angel could. Hizumi just shrugged with his shoulders and came to rest on his bed. Karyu remained in the background and observed silently. And this he did in his well known sexy way in leaning against the wall with one foot, his arms folded in front of his chest and glaring.

Kai settled down next to Hizumi and lay his hands onto the hurt eyes again, telling him to relax. After a few moments of healing, Kai turned around and addressed Karyu what surprised Hizumi because he thought that Kai came alone.

“Karyu, he needs sunlight energy. Would you please escort Hizumi outside?”

Karyu nodded and pushed himself off from the wall. He came closer to them and Hizumi already made moves and stretched out his hand for a walk. But Karyu ignored it and picked him up with ease, making the younger Angel gasp in surprise.

“I can walk Karyu, really.”

“Shut up.” And Karyu carried him out of his apartment, Kai following them and saying his good byes outside the room.

Karyu carried him all the way down the castle, outside into the garden but Hizumi felt uncomfortable and stiffened in Karyu's tight grip. Their first encounter after that kiss... and although Hizumi shouldn't care, the scent of Karyu was a well known fact he started to grow addicted to.

“You know.... you don't have to spend your time with me if you don't want to.”

Karyu ignored what Hizumi said and asked instead. “Can you walk?”

“Hm.” Hizumi was confused about Karyu's behavior. That Angel was so hard to judge and somehow he felt like being a burden to him.

Karyu settled him onto the ground and linked arms with him.

“I’ll guide you.”

“Thank you.”

The warmth of the sun on his face, the wind playing with his hair and the smell of nature were so great that it filled up Hizumi's heart. He felt at ease immediately and his mind cooled down a little bit too. Slowly he tried to open his eyes and happily he realized that the burning was gone but he still only saw blurred features.

“How are you?”

“Feeling better, the burning in my eyes is gone but-”

A familiar voice echoed in the distance and Hizumi felt Karyu stiffen up. That was Die's voice which silenced after he saw whom Hizumi was walking with. Karyu stopped and Hizumi heard Shinya and Die greeting them.... well it was only Shinya because Die was busy having a glaring contest with Karyu.

“What is this supposed to mean?” Die wanted to know and Karyu hissed.

“What a nice friend you are.... You were so busy drooling over your beloved that you forgot about Hizumi after the incident.”

Usually Die would have started a fight but he remained silent out of shame because he knew that Karyu was right. He neglected not only his work but also his best friend and although he hated to admit it, it was nice of Karyu to look after Hizumi.

“I'm deeply ashamed Hizumi and there is no way to forgive me-”

Hizumi furrowed his brows. “Don't gimme that shit Die, in your case I would have run for Shinya too.” Hizumi smiled into the direction where he made out a vague, delicate silhouette. Shinya touched Hizumi's arm lovingly and looked at Karyu the same time.

“That was nice, thank you Karyu. Without you Hizumi would have never made it.” Shinya referred to so much more what Karyu didn't know at this point but the fragile Angel turned his attention back to Hizumi and looked him into the eyes.

“I presume Kai helped you?” Shinya asked and Hizumi nodded. “Stay still....” Shinya lay his hands onto Hizumi's head and his hands disappeared. The group watched astonished when Shinya pulled out something that looked like gray dust in between his hands. He murmured a strange spell and within a moment the dust dissolved into thin air. Shinya smiled. “Now open your eyes.”

Hizumi blinked slowly and his blurry vision started to dissolve and turn back to normal. He looked straight into Die's face in front of him. “Man, first thing I can see clearly is your ugly face, dammit!”

The group laughed except of one. Karyu finally let go off Hizumi's hand.

“How did you do that?” Hizumi wanted to know.

“Just own some extra skills. My son isn’t a wing healer by accident.” Shinya smiled but Die knew it came from the experience of being a Demon Angel.

After a little more small talk, Die and Shinya went their way. Hizumi dismissed Die's offer to look after him the next day and told the bastard to look after his beloved instead.

It became silent between the two Angels and for the first time in days, Hizumi dared to look aside up into Karyu's face while they continued their stroll through the park. His face was just like he recalled it all this time in his head, stern, unimpressed, arrogant... but sexy. Hizumi turned his gaze down as Karyu must have realized him starring.

“Thank you Karyu, for everything.”

Karyu didn’t look at him. “It’s okay.”

“You really don’t have to cope with me….”

Long silence followed and Karyu kept on looking straight on when he answered. “But what… if I want to?”

Drums pulsated in Hizumi's ears... what did he just say? He looked up surprised at the unreadable face, only slowly getting the facade Karyu's holding up. Hizumi slightly smiled his adorable smile.

“You know,” Hizumi said, “... I never bought your attitude.”

“How so?”

“You are more than you ought to show.” Hizumi answered.

Karyu's obligatory silence followed again before he answered. “If you’re telling anybody, I’ll kick your ass.” One side of his mouth lifted slightly amused.

“It’s my secret.” Hizumi responded with his trademark smile and his white eyes beamed back at Karyu.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Songs to this chapter: **06 – Carnival of Lies** (Hell's theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YLfI5sJQSQ&index=6&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YLfI5sJQSQ&index=6&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 20

 

_The Circus of Life_

 

 

Melancholic, Toshiya sat invisible inside a coffee shop, in this crazy, never sleeping city. It was his task to find his protege Kaoru but no one told him how to do so. Like all things destined, it would happen when the time was right but right now all Toshiya felt was overwhelmed by the city life of the 21st century and lost because of its size. Everything was so enormous and at the same time so cramped.

From a big window, he observed the cars and people passing in the streets when suddenly something in the air changed. Like a dim flicker, the aura changed but too low for humans to realize. His mind was on high alert and the atmosphere on a single spot in the busy street blurred and in the middle of all this chaos, a figure formed and features became visible. People passed the figure unimpressed and untouched, obviously not able to see it. Toshiya froze on his seat when he saw the being, obviously supernatural, clad with a long, dark cape, starring straightly back at him. And although most of his head was covered, it was the creatures eyes which sent shivers down his spine. Ice blue eyes which seemed to bore the world's insanity within. Dark curled hair showed from underneath the hood which made it impossible to guess what kind of gender it had.

As if the insane stare was not enough, the creature started to smile when his and Toshiya's eyes met. The creature pulled one arm to the front of his chest and slightly bent his head. A voice entered Toshiya's head and he was shocked by the intimate contact.

^I am Mako and I'm looking forward to be working with you.^

An insane smile on that doll-like face again, the colorful painted lips, before the air started to shiver and he was gone. Sudden noises filled the air and people started screaming when at the same spot cars started to drive into each other and people started to run around in panic.

That was clearly a visit from hell and Toshiya knew immediately that his bored times on earth were over. He rushed out onto the street and saw that people actually got hurt inside the cars and then, for the first time he saw how some souls left their bodies and flew up into heaven. Awestruck by the new observation he was even more shocked when the long, dark caped appeared in heaven again and collected the souls. Can it be?!

And with a high pitched, insane laughter, Mako disappeared together with the lost souls. And the thought where they would be brought to made Toshiya sick.

He left the scene immediately, Mako's words circling in his head.... l _ooking forward to be working with you..._ what did this creature know that he didn't? It collected human souls, a soul collector. What could it possibly mean?

When Toshiya turned into the next alleyway, he paused in reflex when he saw four dark creatures starring back at him. Random Demons which wandered earth as well and mostly not very keen of heavenly residents either. Not wanting any trouble, Toshiya started jogging into another alleyway, turning his head back to see if he was followed but fell back onto the street when he bumped into someone which should have been impossible in the first place.

Startled Toshiya looked up at the man who stood in front of him and his glare showed that he was not amused by the intimate contact.

“Look what we've got here.“ A deep, husky voice spoke up when he crossed his arms over his chest. His face unreadable, his attire perfect and pure business.

Toshiya stuttered and said out loud. “You can see me?”

The guy looked strangely back. “No, you’re invisible... of course I can!”

Several men showed up behind the handsome guy and murmured at him. “Boss, are you all right?”

A cold nod and his fellows pulled back. It was now that Toshiya saw where he got himself into. The whole area seemed kind of private and not of the friendliest kind of sort too. And again, he found himself in trouble. Like a rabbit encircled by wolves, Toshiya looked around the group of dangerous looking men and his gaze stuck at the obvious Leader of them.

“Not the best way to start a day.” The boss said and his eyes literally scanned the victim from head to toe with an unreadable gaze.

Still startled by the fact that Toshiya seemed suddenly visible to all of them, he remained motionless sitting on the ground... until the boss gestured to one of his men to help Toshiya up. Only now he realized that he was taller in size than the boss but when it came to intimidating aura and killer glares, the guy in front of him clearly won. Sheepishly, Toshiya looked down onto his feet. There was no way in escaping the supernatural way now.

The guy came closer and looked Toshiya straight into the face, his deep eyes scanning and analyzing. “What's your name?”

“Toshiya.”

The guy stepped back and after a moment of silence, he stretched out his hand. First uncertain, Toshiya took it hesitantly and images shot through his head. Memories, voices of women, fighting men, money, cars, races, death....

“I'm Niikura Kaoru and you entered my private property.”

Shocked, Toshiya's did his best in keeping up a pokerface. Could it be? It seemed impossible! This man.... his protege?! He thought his protege to be much younger. Not that this man was old but something in his mid forties was quite.... well, unexpected?

Slowly, the elder man let go off Toshiya's slender hand but his eyes still fixed him like prey.

“And since you ran into me obviously in some kind of distress.... I will make you an offer which you can not decline.”

That was quick, Toshiya thought. And although he had an inkling that this job offer must be far from legal he knew at the same time that he should probably take it if he wanted to stay close to Kaoru. He had no choice because this guy was the man he had to find, his own protege. But right now it seemed more like he was looking out for Toshiya than the other way round.

And Toshiya knew immediately that the boring days were over now.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hizumi was back in his room together with Karyu. The beautiful and most enjoyable stroll earlier through the gardens could have lasted forever in Hizumi's opinion but Karyu was called back to work soon. But before Karyu went off, he insisted on bringing Hizumi back first. Although he was able to fully see again thanks to Shinya's help.... and it warmed his heart more than it possibly should.

Nervously, Hizumi fumbled with his hands, not knowing what to say or what to do now that he's got his full eye sight back. He caught glimpses of the handsome, rough Angel right next to him.... they sat next to each other and a slight stretch with his hand would have been enough... but Hizumi remained the silent observer. A silly shyness which seemed to have caught up to him now after being able to see everything clear again. Which was stupid because they'd already spent time together now and then.

But Karyu looked even better in real life than in all his imaginations.

Effortlessly sexy, the tall Angel leaned with his elbows on his knees.

“So you are going down to earth?” Hizumi asked, sitting on his bed.

“Yeah, Kazu makes last arrangements. By the next call a handful of Revenges will go down to earth.”

Hizumi stared and one thing he had in common with Karyu: They both used not to comment on the last thing a person had said. Instead, Karyu observed Hizumi turning down his gaze.... he left it uncommented, not flattering himself with the possible meaning behind it.

“So you’re looking after your son?” Hizumi knew it from Die and the surprised expression on Karyu's face proofed it too. Adding the sucked in breath and the motion with his hand to the back of his head did the rest. Hizumi hit a delicate nerve and Karyu was obviously still uncomfortable talking about it. Maybe because he himself didn't know what to make out of it. His feelings had started to change since he knew.

“I'm not supposed to interfere, only observe, watch out for possible dangers. Him and some other proteges on earth.” And he took his task very serious, wondering where that sense of responsibility came from.

Him, being the obvious taller and stronger one, talking about responsibility and acting all cold.... he was so beautiful. Hizumi felt guilty about his thought trailing off after observing these perfect shaped lips and he recalled that deep, hungry kiss from the other day. Oh he so wanted to feel it again, this cold but insisting touch on his lips which seemed to take him in completely... he had to change his thoughts and Hizumi changed topic.

“I’d really love to see earth again. I’ve been at the borders for far too long…”

“Right now it's better for you to stay here and heal completely. You almost lost your eye sight.”

A nod, followed by an almost whispered 'Thank you.'

And his heart would have stopped beating if he were still alive. Karyu had stretched out his hand and touched Hizumi's cheek, resting with his thumb on the side of one eye.

“I think it were those eyes...”

That was all Karyu said but for him it was like a major declaration and Hizumi knew and appreciated that, blushing very hard. He had never met someone before who actually liked his white eyes and was so straight forward about it too. Most creatures were scared by them and even after years not used to his stare... all except of one who looked so freely, so unprejudiced into them.

The hand glided down Hizumi's cheek and the soothing touch left.

Karyu stood up from the message he had just received, ready to leave. Hizumi followed Karyu with his gaze and happily discovered that he still wore the braids in between the strands of his hair. The braids which he did the other day when Karyu had fallen asleep on his bed.... it was childish to be so happy about it.

“Stay out of trouble and rest in your room until I'm back. Promised, it won't be long.”

Without another indicated action which Hizumi had imagined so perfectly for their good bye, Karyu walked back to the entrance door without another word, obviously done.

“You're leaving right away?” Hizumi stood up from his bed.

“Have to.”

Of course Karyu heard the undertone swinging with it but his pride wouldn't allow any cheesy good bye scenes... well except of the other day he had lowered himself to it and God knows what came over him that day. But any attachment would make it only harder for both of them. Plus Karyu never did relationships, it was his golden rule Nb. 01.

“I will be back to check on you.”

“Is this some kind of game you like to play with people you get involved with?”

Karyu turned around by the sudden accusation.

“Because I won't play that game Karyu, especially not with you.”

“What are you indicating?”

“Just get the fuck over here and kiss me good bye for goodness sake. I absolutely insist.”

“Well you should know, “ Karyu started when he turned around and made his way back to Hizumi's bed, “that I don't do relationships. Never did and never will.”

“Good, me neither.”

Karyu pulled Hizumi's close to him by the collar of his shirt, taking in his lips for a hungry kiss, selfishly and demanding as if he wanted to suck out Hizumi's remaining life energy. He always did that, being so powerful and demanding everything.

Hizumi became limb under Karyu's touch and the tall Angel whispered against Hizumi's lips.

“But you're free to give me commands any time you feel like it. It really turns me on.”

A husky laugh when Karyu removed his hand and within a second the Angel had disappeared into thin air, leaving a breathless Hizumi back on his bed.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya's protege Kaoru was one of these people who entered a room and all eyes lay on him. Whether he was dressed in one of his expensive designer suits or in simple jeans. That was something Toshiya discovered right away. Kaoru had an incredible power of attraction, a power which emanated from him so naturally that everybody served him. His authority was palpable. Even without his subordinates addressing him, everybody could have guessed that he was the Boss. Now and then even Toshiya stole a glimpse of him, tried to read the mystery but Kaoru was unreadable. His feelings and reasons hidden deep inside of him. Whether it was Toshiya's inexperience or all the commotion, he couldn't tell. Probably a mixture of both.

This natural charm of Kaoru drew him in too quickly. Toshiya wasn't stupid and recognized it right away but he couldn't help it either. The same morning, he was 'escorted' by Kaoru and his men into a 38-floor skyscraper not far away from the place where he had ran into him. They arrived inside a luxurious night club and Kaoru dismissed his men so that he and Toshiya were alone.

“As I said before, I want you to work for me here in this night club.... no, I need you. You will fit in perfectly. And I don't care whether you already have a job. Quit everything and work here in the evening.”

That was too much too quickly and they both knew it but at least one part couldn't care less. Confused by Kaoru's dominant manner, Toshiya nodded anyway. At least he could observe him easier that way. A silent nod gestured Kaoru to go on.

“You will entertain my guests as a host and keep an eye on them while I’m not around. Report anything you might hear or see directly to me. That's all.”

An irresistible urge made Toshiya wonder. “Why me?”

“I don’t believe in coincidences, it was your lucky day. I hope it was mine too.”

But Kaoru's eyes said that it was more than that. He liked that strange, tall boy and his face and features fit perfectly into his club an attire.

“But you don't even know me.”

With his small but elegant fingers, Kaoru glided over the mirrored glass wall, his Rolex and jewelry glistening from the dim lightning when he turned around and continued his way with his index finger over Toshiya's collarbone. “We can change that.”

He shouldn't have blushed and feeling uncomfortable only added to the surreal atmosphere. Kaoru must have felt it too and slowly pulled back, walking over to the long window side of the building, his back turned against Toshiya when he addressed him again.

“I can provide you a flat in this house, in case you can work for me full time.” He humbly referred to the enormous skyscraper. And although he expressed it carefully, he most likely expected Toshiya to take the offer. Now at this point Toshiya decided to play the game to observe what the future would bring.

“Show me my room.”

And with a pleasant grin on his face, Kaoru escorted him to the elevators.

The same evening and after Toshiya was settled in his quarters, which were ridiculously luxurious and God knows how expensive, he spent his first night at work. Clad in a dark blue suit himself.

It surprised him that the rich people of 21st century didn't differ too much from the aristocracy from the 17th century. It was interesting to observe but hard for him to move and act all cool. Toshiya did his best and tried to learn from his colleagues which were all superficial and arrogant, except of one guy who talked and smiled at him friendly. He said his name was Sakito and he offered his help kindly. The stares he got from the other boys though were strange and Toshiya couldn't make out why. True he was the tallest of them all but less did his naïve self know about the meaning of jealousy in this business. Especially after Kaoru lectured his men earlier about treating Toshiya kindly.

The music inside the club was as dim as the light. Elegant people sat chatting on different tables and couches, surrounded by their favorite hosts. The bar was enormous, the whole splendor most elegant and tasteful. Everything which made Toshiya only more insecure, the Ladies loved it though. It didn't take long until he was drawn onto a table of five chatty women and miraculously he warmed up pretty fast. The dull conversations were superficial and the liquor showed effect on the Ladies and him too.

That was when in the middle of the room a still standing person got Toshiya's attention. His mind switched from 'human impersonator' to his angelic senses and what he saw meant no good. Toshiya excused himself from the table and although they hardly let him go, he managed to cross the club but the person was gone.... or call it Demon in this case.

And Toshiya recognized that face. He saw it before and it took all his imagination to recall from where.... that flat face, the long dark plaits in his hair, the cold eyes.... his vision changed into another memory and he realized that it was Hizumi's memory. That day when he was so severely attacked, his almost destroyed nerve system....

  
That face belonged to Zero.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The Angels of Revenge scattered into all directions of the dark sky line over Tokyo. Rumors were the reason why they came down to earth to watch and observe in secret for any possible dangers. Something big was dwelling underneath the surface, both heaven and hell knew about it and naturally both sides prepared for it in their own ways.

And also Metatron was prepared: Long before the Angels of Revenge arrived on earth, his secret and last remaining Demon Angel Reita came to earth. To spy, observe and find out about possible threats and secrets. His immortal senses were higher than any of the other Angels, his ears and intuition filtering any piece of information before anyone else did.

 

The dark night sky was illuminated by the stars. One for each Angel. That was how the higher ranked Angels made out the other Angels on earth. Like Karyu, he scanned the surface of town while he flew over it in his invisible state. The air tasted bitter this night, something was definitely there. In reflex, he turned around and took his route back to a high sky scraper complex and then he heard it. A door bashing open and heavy panting. Normally he couldn't care less but these vibes weren't mortal either.

In high speed, Karyu flew up the sky scraper and he landed on the roof top, when the heavily panting person turned around. It was an elegant clad Toshiya with horror written all over his face. Surprise added to his mixed up feelings when he saw Karyu standing not far away from him on the sky scraper.

“Toshiya! What's the matter?!” Was all Karyu could bring out.

Although he never really knew Karyu and God knows he was not the most pleasant fellow, Toshiya was somehow SO glad to see him. He ran over to him, only to stay behind his back and watch the door in full panic.

“Karyu, there is a demon inside. It's-”

“Toshiya….” Karyu spoke controlled through gritted teeth. “I want you to go inside.”

“But he’s in there!”

“Not any longer.”

And the Demon took shape a few meters away from them and the more clear his features became, the thinner Karyu's eyes went, glaring at him threatening. He recognized Zero immediately, making wild guesses that this place would turn into a battle field any moment now. But Toshiya was here with him and since it was too late he had to protect him now too.

‘You were looking for me? You want to fight me?’ Zero didn’t move his lips, his voice echoed through Karyu's head.

“You…” Karyu pointed at him with his free left hand, the other one held onto a silver long spear tightly. “… attacked one of holy Lords Cherubim and for that you will be judged.” Karyu spoke out loud though.

Zero wore his cold, nonchalant face. ‘The Angel was weak, wrong placed in that position too.’

Karyu balled his hands into fists before he stretched them out and sent a wave of energy out. Obviously he wasn't a big talker and always acted first and asked later.

It blew Zero down onto the ground but he became invisible immediately. Toshiya held onto Karyu's shoulders in panic, they both turned in circles and watched out from where Zero could possibly attack. A hand appeared in the dark sky and shoved Karyu away from Toshiya, sending him hard down onto the ground, sliding away a few meters and leaving Toshiya unprotected. Zero appeared again and for the first time his attention was fully on Toshiya. He looked at him deeply with this cold, emotionless eyes, looking deeply into him and seeing things others might not noticed. A slight smirk on Zeros lips and he passed Toshiya untouched.

Being a bundle of nerves, the young Angel sank to the ground shaking while Zero walked up to Karyu whom steadied himself from the fall on his spear but something invisible made him scream out loud into the night and Karyu slumped down to the ground again, the spear clattering on the stony roof top. Heavy panting from Karyu whom looked up at Zero who towered over him and observed the suffering Angel from above. He gloated over Karyu's pain while he attacked Karyu's nerve system between his wings.

Karyu's scream changed from screaming to insane laughter. “Ha ha... you think you got me?”

'Suffer.' Came the only mental reply.

“No, you do.” And with his last strength, Karyu picked up the spear from the ground and thrust it all the way through Zero's breast. The Demon widened his eyes in shock, no words slipped from his mind. The pain should have killed Karyu almost immediately. Why didn't it work?

With effort, Karyu stood up and pulled the spear out of Zero's breast, it didn't kill him yet but the powerful stroke which decapitated Zero did. The head fell onto the ground and the body dissolved into black sand which blew away with the wind.

Karyu steadied himself on his spear a few more seconds before he broke down and the spear clattered to the ground again. When Toshiya was finally able to move, he ran over to him and steadied Karyu's head. He called his name several times but Karyu didn't wake up. Instead a dark power rooted through his body from the spot were his four wings were. A most uncomfortable dejavu for Toshiya. He had to handle this otherwise Karyu wouldn't make it. With all effort, the young Angel turned the lifeless body around and dived with his hands into the nerve system. They both became invisible while Toshiya's gift located the evil root. He pulled it out immediately and with a murmured phrase dissolved it.

Karyu's angelic body started to heal immediately, his will to life bringing back his senses in no time. A few moments later, the older Angel blinked with his eyes and slowly turned around from his lying position. Only to find himself looking into a scared, younger Angel's face.

“You made it! Thank God” Toshiya couldn't help it when he jump forward and embraced Karyu around his shoulders tightly. A warm hand held onto Toshiya and a husky voice added.

“You're the best Toshiya. I'm so proud of you.”

These words bore more than Toshiya could possibly imagine but he had absolutely no clue about Karyu and Shinya's involuntarily past. But he guessed right that it was the closest Karyu could get to a 'thank you' and Toshiya knew that. It warmed his heart deeply.

  
A new voice entered the scene. “I should have known that where trouble is you are not far.”

It was Kazu who as a Leader of the Angels of Revenge hurried back to the place of fighting after he sensed it in the air. He stretched out a hand to pick Karyu up from the ground, Toshiya followed. Sternly, Kazu nodded at Karyu, making motions to go and taking Karyu with him.

“Where are you going?” Toshiya asked.

“You're not supposed to know that we are here in the first place Toshiya.” Kazu said.

“But after all that happened...”

“We pulled you into this, it's inexcusable.”

Karyu spoke up. “The Demon approached Toshiya first.”

“And where is he now?” Kazu asked with a mocking tone while Karyu scanned the sky. A deeply exhaled breath from Kazu. “You killed one of Lucifer's personal Demons-”

“And I couldn't give a bloody damn about it and I’d do it again.” Karyu answered nonchalantly as he was.

“You should never act out of personal motive!”

“I judged him as I had the right to.”

“Then you must bear any possible consequences and there will be consequences, you know that.”

“I will be ready for it.”

Kazu dropped the subject and he looked back at Toshiya who looked to him like a frightened deer. “About you.... I don't get why Zero appeared here in this area.”

Toshiya didn't know it either and his eyes must have shown it. Kazu addressed Karyu. “Normally we wouldn't do this but I want you Karyu to keep an special eye on Toshiya and this area for the time being.”

Relief from the young Angel and a strange protective instinct from Karyu. Before the Angels of Revenge left, Karyu made sure to escort Toshiya back to his place, just in case.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Kami grabbed into his hair in despair. Stacks of old books and papers built up all around the four Archangels, now and then insanity from all the research got one or the other later. Now for the 6th time Kami was close to loose his temper again. Hide only snickered behind another high pile of books, while Kyo read silently to himself like Mana did too.

They were looking for anything, any hint about the prophecy of 'the cross', any possible indications.

Kami hit his head hard onto the desk, he surrendered for the 20th time today. His face covered behind his over-length hair, his moaning drowning in it. Hide shook his head again amused.

Then the bored silence broke by heavy steps outside the halls, someone running down the long corridor. All three heads looked up to the door but Kami remained lying on the desk, probably because he couldn't hear it. The doors bashed open and Shizumi, the friendly teacher Angel and also Cherub, yelled inside the room.

“One Revenge attacked one of Lucifer's personal Demons on earth!”

Kami remained with his head on the table while he stammered nonchalantly. “Must have been Karyu.”

Hide's jaw dropped from the news while Kyo narrowed his eyes and Mana looked himself as usual.

“What happened?” Kyo asked.

“The Revenge killed the Demon.”

The Archangels looked at Shizumi in disbelieve.

“Ohmygod, that means war.” Kyo said.

“And who was it?” Hide asked.

“I don’t know. That’s all the information I got.”

Looking at each other, the Archangels stood up and left the room, only to be stopped by Kamijo who had just passed, followed by the highest Angels of heaven, the Seraphim. Aiji, Angel of Moods, Kazuki, Angel of Time and Kai, Angel of Light and Love. The last one stole a glance of Kami before he closed the portals to Kamijo's room behind them.

Minutes before the news had spread through all heaven, Hizumi who naturally heard about any rumors first at the borders, stopped in his tracks. A strange feeling overcame him and he could only hoped that his suspicions proved him wrong.

Meanwhile inside the holy halls of Metatron, the Seraphim and Kindel-Angel Ruki had gathered.

“Karyu is an absolute reliable Angel of Revenge with high experience on war. He would never act out of pure lust to kill.” Ruki said despite the Angel's reputation to be cold but lethal. And he could say it because he _knew_ all of his Angels.

“I won't judge him for his actions. What concerns me is the whole intention of the fight. Why was one of Lucifer's Demons on earth to attack an innocent protégé?” Kamijo wondered.

“It’s not unusual for Demons to cause trouble when protégé are down on earth either.” Kai answered.

“Sure but this one was not a low-class Demon.” Aiji added.

“And the one he attacked no weak Angel.” Kazuki referred to Toshiya. “What to do now?”

Kamijo made a deeply thinking face. “All we can do is to wait. Hell will approach us soon enough.”

The Archangels waited outside Kamijo's portals until it was their turn. After a while, the Seraphim left the halls and the Archangels entered, all except of Kami who held Kai back on his wrist. It was the look in Kai's eyes, Kami knew him to be very sensitive.

“Is it so bad?”

Kai was speechless. Too much was going on these days and he as a wing healer suffered even more from the fact that Toshiya, also wing healer, was attacked.

“We are one family. If one is in danger we all are.”

It hurt Kami seeing Kai like this and God knows he would have done anything for some private time together with him but times were messy these days and they all had a lot to do.

“I know it is selfish of me,” Kami whispered while he pulled Kai close to him only for a quick moment, “but I would do anything for you to stay out of all this trouble, all of this mess...”

“I can't. It is my job, my life.”

“I know.” Kami's hand remained a few more seconds on Kai's cheek before Kamijo finally yelled him inside.

 


	21. Chapter 21

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 21

 

_Another world, my rules_

 

 

Hakuei dropped the book he was holding when Die closed his mouth. The Cherub had just returned from the borders and told Toshiya's Guardian about the attack on earth. Meanwhile heaven was well aware of what had happened and who killed Zero. Clumsily, and Hakuei was never clumsy, he took a seat and worked on the information, his face blank with no emotions but the shaking hand which reached up to his forehead said it all. Die picked up the book and settled next to Hakuei, touching him on his shoulder.

“Karyu is a weapon, Toshiya was well guarded.”

Hakuei lowered his hands and it took him a moment to focus his gaze on Die. “He shouldn't have been attacked in the first place.”

“You're right.”

“I'm having a bad feeling about all this.”

“You're telling me...” It was the way Die said it which made Hakuei wonder.

“What do you mean?”

Now it was Die who clearly made an uncomfortable face. Fact was that no one outside their private little circle knew about Karyu fathering Toshiya first time on earth and with Shinya on top of it, although it was involuntarily from Shinya's side. Die gave Hakuei a quick summary about what he had learned recently and the information only added to Hakuei's bewilderment. “You're telling me that...”

“Unfortunately... yes.”

“No, I mean.... no. That's unbelievable.” In front of his inner eye Hakuei searched for similarities physically and of course emotionally. “I don't think they have much in common.... well on the other hand, Toshiya is tall and very strong emotionally. I always thought it's a Shinya-trait.” Die smiled at himself. “It surely is.”

When Hakuei silenced to think about it, Die added something he and Shinya had discovered a long time ago. “You know Hakuei… you have to let him go one day. Toshiya’s grown very strong over the last couple of months, thanks to you. I remember the first day I helped you and him coming back to heaven... Jeez that was a fight but look at him now. He already changed so much.... and mostly because of you. We're convinced that he will be able to handle everything.” It was something that weighed heavily on Hakuei's heart but he knew that Die was right. It only appeared to him recently that he had grown quite attached to his protégé and he feared that there might comes a day when he would need his protégé more than the other way round.

“I know.... but it’s so hard. I’ve known him for such a long time, looked after him for such a long time.... centuries even.”

The centuries-point made Die remember another issue. “I also came here to tell you something else.”

Hakuei looked aside wearily. “I'm not so sure I can stand any more bade news.”

“It's not that bad. Shinya and I just wanted to inform you that-”

“Shinya?”

But of course. Hakuei still didn't know about how Die discovered Shinya. The Cherub gave him a quick summary of what had happened. “Shinya is back?!”

Die came to the point right away. “We will be reborn to earth soon because of our karma. Maybe even before Toshiya will return to heaven.”

“That will break Toshiya's heart.”

“We thought so.... It can't be helped. It's only for a lifetime.”

After a few more words and a more and more absentminded growing Hakuei, the Cherub left for work again as the Guardian really needed the time for himself. Hakuei had always been a reasonable person, Angel and soul. Structured and well thought in everything. But lately, all these changes seemed to make it hard for him to stay balanced. Not only was his dearly beloved protégé attacked the night before, no, another thing stung him too: Toshiya's discovery of his own protégé Kaoru. And what a human he was. As flamboyant and charming like the devil himself. He was truly into deep, serious business and Hakuei didn't approve of it AT ALL. But it was Toshiya's duty, his karma to look after Kaoru, his new task. All they could hope for was that God really only burdened souls with as much hard stuff as they can carry. And again he recalled that Toshiya was strong.

It was dark at night on earth and Toshiya felt alien in his apartment. Although Kaoru mentioned that it was only a small one in comparison to the rest, he still felt uncomfortable and mentally cold inside of it. He could never understand what people found appealing and surely to some extend cozy about concrete metal buildings, at the worst paired up with floor reaching glass walls to add to the strangeness. In former times such cells were torture, today they called it 'design'.

In his fetal position, Toshiya looked out the glass wall and observed the stars, the lights of town at night. Now after all the stress of his work died down, his mind traveled _home._ If Hakuei was watching? What was he up to these days? And did he feel it when Toshiya thought about him? So many questions came up day by day now that they were separated. And he wanted to ask Hakuei so many questions.

A knock on the door startled him and he moved clumsily over his crumbled bed sheets and made his way over to the door. The face which was completely covered in shadows greeted him with a smile. Toshiya couldn't see it but hear it... feeling it even.

“You’re loving the dark?” It was Kaoru’s voice, mocking and filled with amusement and Toshiya couldn't help but wonder why he always felt so nervous and observed around him.

“I-I was just about going to sleep.”

A nod from the figure which leaned against his door frame. The moonlight reflected on his expensive suit which broke the light over his crossed arms in front of his chest, his face was still covered in shadows. “I wanted to check back on you...” Kaoru started again. “After your first day because the customer's response about you was quite well. I'm sure you've found regular customers tonight.”

A slight nod from the younger man who could just wonder if that was all Kaoru was there for.

“Besides,” Kaoru leaned up from the door frame, “there is a clan-racing going on tomorrow. I usually avoid these kind of parties because it's something our youngsters do but our clan got challenged. Rumors spread that the opposite boss will be there too which makes it impossible for me not to attend. Long story short: I want you to come with us, make new contacts.”

What was it that made everything Kaoru said sound forbidden? Of course Toshiya would attend. He was Kaoru's Guardian Angel and Toshiya serious about his task. “Of course.”

Slowly, Kaoru stepped into the moonlight and his one sided smile filled the moment. “But?”

Toshiya had to step back from the sudden proximity. Somehow it was as if Kaoru's aura pushed him back. He was so powerful and... what was it? Charming, alluring even. Toshiya couldn't help himself but to wonder why on earth such a human being would need protection. Sure, Kaoru seemed to be involved into some kind of fishy business but honestly, by the number of staff and bodyguards he hired anybody surely gladly gave their life for him. He was such a person. “I-I don’t like anything risky, that’s all.” Toshiya finally stammered out.

Kaoru gave one of his dazzling smiles again. “Where is the fun in life without being risky?” He paused. “Joke. Don’t be scared, you don’t have to attend the race. Just be there.”

At that point Toshiya had switched from his human-like view to his angel-scan, not really listening to what Kaoru was saying. He tried to read his protégé, scanned his aura but all he could see was a deep, dark blue color. Nothing to be alarmed of. Next he tried to read Kaoru's thoughts, although he knew from Hakuei that doing so was hard at the beginning, he tried it nevertheless. After all he needed to get to know his protégé. And although it was to be expected not to work out, Toshiya found his mind blocked out, as if walking against a wall.

“Toshiya?”

The young Angel switched back to his human-like self. “I'm sorry, I was just.... daydreaming. Guess I better go to sleep.”

“You better do that.”

And to top things off, his deep voice sounded like velvet over his skin too. Kaoru was a mystery which he needed to solve before he was allowed to go back to heaven and Toshiya better did a good job to return home soon. Kaoru stepped out of the moonlight and when he walked down the corridor, it sounded like 'good night young prince' but Toshiya wasn't so sure. His protégé didn't only seem like a big piece of work, he was.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Sugizo had called in for a big, secret meeting down in hell. Yuana, his spying wolf on earth had transmitted him all the news, especially the ones about Zero which was a painful loss. Tsukasa was there with him and Sugizo summoned Gackt to join in too. After all, Gackt was Leader of the Demon Army and Sugizo's next strike on earth. The air around them was tense and Sugizo, better know as Lucifer, was not far from exploding. There was a dangerous awareness around him which made the others act very silently. After Gackt had arrived, Sugizo addressed him right away.

“You will take Közi and Yu~ki up with you to earth and spy out on the Angels of Revenge. If they should lay hands on you again, kill them. Show no mercy.” A nod followed from the highly trained soldiers. Their secret meeting was suddenly interrupted when the doors to his meeting hall swung open and to everybody’s shock Kirito stepped in. Son of the devil himself and the very one Sugizo wanted to bring to fall to plant himself up on the throne.

“WHY...” Kirito's aggressive voice sounded through the hall, “Are you summoning half of the Demon Army behind my back?!!!”

“They killed my best mind reader-!” His voice came to a sudden stop when Kirito grabbed Sugizo around his neck, pushed him against the nearby wall and hissed against his ear.

“You are stepping out of line here. It is ME all Demons are sworn to loyalty and it is ME who commands for any actions. Do you understand?” Kirito's voice was deadly low and it took all of Sugizo's courage to nod. The devil's son dropped Lucifer and addressed Gackt.

“Gackt, take your two best Demons up to earth and report any changes to ME, you understand?”

It was the split of a second, Gackt’s gaze on Sugizo which told Lucifer where Gackt's loyalty truly was but he bowed to Kirito to keep up the facade. Truth was that they all wanted to see some Angels burn.

“Yes, my Master.” And Gackt disappeared together with Közi and Yu~ki.

Kirito shot Sugizo one last angry glance before he left the hall angrily and without another word. Lucifer was boiling, narrowing his eyes from the humiliation and he swore that soon, very soon he would claim the throne for himself, making the arrogant Demon suffer terribly in the process.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The attire was far too formal for an occasional meet up with a challenging clan. A dozen of bodyguards, handful of ridiculous expensive cars and some professional trained racers met up in Kaoru's underground car park. Toshiya felt very uneasy about the black gathering. His normal reaction would have been to back off and better observe everything from a safe distant but he couldn't. He jumped when a friendly voice addressed him from behind and smiled when he found Sakito smiling back at him. Toshiya was surprised though to find him clad in racer's uniform.

“You are a racer?”

“Guess you can say that. Host or racer at night, take your pick.” No matter the circumstances, Sakito always wore a smile on his face which made him very likeable. Toshiya liked him right away and Sakito was a very helpful person too, looking out for Toshiya in the club when the others turned their backs on him. Maybe even because their boss seemed to kind of favour him.

The gathering came to an end when Kaoru gestured for people to get into the cars and Toshiya couldn't help but to wonder how all business he was. Nothing of the flirty and sensuous voice he used to show him in private sometimes. That surely was Kaoru's strength: Changing roles in the moments required. Kaoru gestured Toshiya to drive together with Sakito to their meeting point. Their eyes didn't met, nothing showed familiarity. A convoy of five cars left town, driving to the countryside. Toshiya and Sakito were alone in one car which was, what Toshiya learned soon, Sakito's personal race car. He got it from Kaoru not too long ago and in return he worked at his club and did races for him.

“Well isn't all of that quite illegal?” Toshiya wondered naive.

“That's a matter of interpretation.”

Their chatter died down and Toshiya looked out of the window, observing the beautiful landscape. They drove along a broad forest-line, up several hills and while his mind started to wander, Toshiya wondered if it was possible to seek out Sakito's Guardian Angel. Apparently, Sakito's Guardian Angel was invisible to Sakito and not visible like Toshiya towards Kaoru. It was each Guardian Angel's choice whether he wanted to be an active part in his proteges life or an passive, observing one.  
Toshiya closed his eyes, pretending to fall asleep but concentrated on the energy around him. He found Sakito's aura, which was in a bright, yellow color and then he made out a presence behind Sakito's car seat. The soul behind Sakito, obviously his Guardian Angel, took shape and Toshiya couldn't believe his inner eyes. He addressed the presence with his mind.

^Ni~YA?! NO WAY! Is that really you?! I can't believe it!!^

^Shut up Toshiya and mind your own business.^ Still the old Ni~ya, Toshiya thought. Ni~ya hated him. It was a sad but true fact although Toshiya had absolutely no clue why.

^Why are you invisible to him?^

^Because it's my choice. It's the best to be with him all the time.^ It made sense. Although Toshiya wasn't with Kaoru all the time, he would feel when his protégé was in danger.

“We're here.” Sakito said out loud and made Toshiya break the contact with Ni~ya unknowingly. They stopped on a high hill in the countryside, joining the other cars in front of them in line. They both left the car and Toshiya jolted when he felt someone pulling him over under his elbow.

“Kaoru!”

The older man shushed him and said in a low voice. “Listen Toshiya, I'll have to wait at the end of the racing track to witness the winner. You will remain at the starting line and.... 'observe' what's going on. Report anything strange that was said or done to me immediately after the race, understood?” Why is it that Kaoru can make the simplest words sound forbidden? The 'observe' thing was clearly of importance here. Toshiya nodded. “This is business and you are part of my business now. I cannot tolerate to loose anything or anyone.”

Was he disappointed being reffered to as 'business'? Anyway.... What if he failed? Failing Kaoru or his own profession? Or even Hakuei? The young Angel always wondered how he could possibly be a good Guardian Angel and now, him being involved into all this made his self-doubt not any less.

It was as if Kaoru could read his mind and his characteristic one-sided smile added to the goosebumps when his hand traveled over Toshiya's arm only for the split of a second before he broke their physical contact. “You've become a precious asset to my team in such a short amount of time. The funny thing is that you yourself don't even recognize your value. People tend to trust you. Use it as a weapon.”

It was a lovely praise and it set Toshiya's mind at ease. A slight smile spread over his lips and Kaoru's gaze only lasted one moment longer on Toshiya's face before he turned his attention to one of his employees who called out for him. He left Toshiya standing there who bowed politely in return. In the distance, four cars were assembling in line. Two racers of each clan and Sakito was among them. He was all business, his ever smiling face turned into full concentration and next to him Toshiya made out the slight shimmer of Ni~ya's presence. It came easier to him now, maybe after they had their first contact in the car.  
The chatters slowly died down and the racers got into their cars. After a countdown the race started with squirming tires and a lot of dust. In a matter of seconds the racing cars disappeared behind the forest, their loud engines echoing loudly through the trees. While Toshiya did his best to merge with the crowd and important looking people, Ni~ya suffered impossible agony. Sakito drove like a mad man and one opponent who tried to push him off the street didn't ease his mind. Sakito was good at what he did and totally able to keep the car on the street but after the next shove into the side of his car, the door glass broke and the sharp splinters could have done some serious damage to his beautiful face if it wasn't for Ni~ya. He covered his protégé who didn't even notice it. He kept on racing.

“No I'm a new employee at Niikura-san's place-” Toshiya broke the conversation with one of the opponent's leading security when a sudden vision played in front of his inner eyes. “No...” He whispered and started to run, leaving the strange man behind. Toshiya darted through the trees and into the dark forest before he turned himself invisible. He warped his angelic body to a spot close to the finishing line and became visible again behind trees. In the distance he saw what his vision had showed him: The Nissan which chased Sakito flipped over from speed , failed Sakito who ended the race as a winner but the rolling car couldn't stop. People started to scream and were scattering into all directions, leaving one person right in the middle of everything.

“KAORU!!” Toshiya shouted as he ran the last few meters to the end of the finishing line. He tackled the older man down and the car missed both of them only by inches. They rolled through the dust and when they came to a stop, Toshiya hit his head hard against the ground. Kaoru was halfway over him but Toshiya still couldn't realize because even to an immortal body a hit to his head made him feel dizzy too. He kept his eyes closed and felt the weight crawling off his body, a hand touching his forehead and cheek carefully.

“Toshiya! Can you hear me?!” People's voices added to the surrounding noises and Toshiya murmured a weak 'yes'. He opened his eyes and looked into several known and unknown faces, Sakito was one of them, next to Kaoru's face which showed panic and something else Toshiya couldn't make out. “The race is over, we're going home!” Kaoru motioned with his hand over to his bodyguards to clear the place of people. He helped Toshiya up who stood clumsily on his long legs but steady. Kaoru reached up to Toshiya's temples and checked his head from all sides. Fortunately there was no blood, a sigh of relief left his lips. The opponent's leader who stood nearby observed the whole ongoing with a knowing smile on his lips and also motioned his men to get ready to leave. Sakito steadied Toshiya on his arm. "I'm fine, really. Thanks for all your concern.”

People suddenly started to scream when the car not too far away from them exploded. It was a reflex when Kaoru shoved Toshiya behind his body, shielding him. Sakito crouched to the ground while the security started to run towards the car to put out the flames but it was too late for the driver, the car was ablaze. An insane, high pinched laughter filled the air and the little hair on Toshiya's neck stood up. He knew that laughter, a noise apparently only he could hear. While Toshiya looked up into the sky, he heard Kaoru next to him breathing in and out loud in agitation. And there he was floating in the air, clad in a long dark cape and singing a sick and strange song before he snatched up the floating soul in the air.  
  
'MAKO!' Toshiya screamed out in his thoughts. He couldn't act because everybody would see him disappear.

^What's the matter Toshiya? Come and get this delicious bad soul! Ahahahahaaaaaaa!^

And within a second Mako had disappeared with the soul and all Toshiya could think of was how on earth the soul collector knew his name. He came back into reality when Kaoru shook him on his shoulders.

“Are you all right?”

The young Angel closed his eyes for a moment. “Yes, no.... I don't know.” A pause. “Thank you, for saving me. It should have been me.” It just slipped out of his mouth before he could consider his words. It left Kaoru surprised but he didn't ask, maybe seeing it as mere courtesy. Kaoru's men gestured them to finally leave the racing track to go home to the headquarter. And people started whispering when Kaoru insisted on Toshiya driving back with him.That was not good, not good at all. Toshiya had this feeling. Him, a new one, being favoured by the boss... he only hoped not to get into trouble with the other employees.

It was dead silent inside the car. Two bodyguards sat in the front while Toshiya and Kaoru were all alone in the back. Although they were separated from the driver's seat by glass, Kaoru didn't say a single word. It weighed heavily in the air that something had happened tonight which connected the two of them. Without any second thoughts they were both ready to sacrifice themselves for each others safety. And a dozen of people had witnessed it. Toshiya felt ashamed for the open portrayal of his loyalty and wondered if Kaoru felt the same. After all, he was the mighty boss to his clan and he lost his face twice this evening. First by Toshiya, his slut or how they called him, to safe him and then Kaoru who saved him in return.

“I can never make amends for what you have done for me today.” Kaoru started. “If there is something I can do for you?”

This came as a total surprise. “Niikura-san, after what you have done for me, I-”

Kaoru lifted one hand and for the first time since they entered the car, he looked at Toshiya directly, really looked at him. His glare was unreadable as always. “After saving each other I guess it's time for you to call me by my first name.”

Toshiya nodded politely. “Well then, Kaoru, there is one thing....”

“Name it.”

“Stay out of trouble.”

A throaty laugh. “Well, I can't promise you that. How about your own car?”

“Material things are unimportant to me. Please just stay out of trouble-” Toshiya's voice got stuck in his throat when he felt hot fingers closing around his wrist on the seat.

“Are you…. that concerned about me?” His tone had changed to this private tone only Toshiya knew from several private encounters. He looked at Kaoru in surprise, trying to kill the mood by staying objective.

“That was very dangerous today.”

“But my team won and I got my cars back.”

“If that’s all you can think about-”

“That is NOT all I can think about.” His tone seemed angry and the grip around Toshiya's wrist became tighter. It started to become unpleasant.

“You're hurting me.” Which was an outright lie but there was something about Kaoru's act and aura Toshiya couldn't really grasp or even didn't want to guess. In all, it made him feel uncomfortable.

“I'm sorry.” Kaoru pulled back and turned his attention out the window again. And these were his last words for the night before he turned all business-like again.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya walked into the bathroom the next morning, looking at his mortal face in the mirror. The same features like in his old lifetime, shiny black hair, long limbs… but he felt nothing with this body. It was just an instrument to fulfill its task.

He knew that his protégé was a headstrong and charming man but the way he spoke to him inside the car, held his wrist for the splint of a moment, seemed quite... personal. Toshiya brushed it off to be out of courtesy but it was the way Kaoru let down his guard in front of him. He never did that in front of his men, obviously. Towards them he was always cold, controlled and dominant.

Inside that car, it seemed that Toshiya could have asked for anything. Anything his body and mind could possibly desire and Kaoru would have happily given it to him. Was that kind of behavior normal for protégé towards their Guardian Angels? Would he do the same if Hakuei asked him to? That with Hakuei was completely different. Of course Toshiya would do anything for Hakuei since he did everything for him, helped him, looked out for him, cared for him.... Melancholy filled him with a sudden pain of homesickness. If Hakuei was with him right now? How was he? It was forbidden for them to get into contact while the protégé are being tested on earth on their first assignment. And how come that he thought about Hakuei now although Kaoru was his concern? Toshiya ran the water-tap and filled the washbasin with water. He dived his hands into it and a voice filled his head.

_Toshiya!_

A well known voice echoed through the water. It was the water creature Daisuke from heaven, calling through the element of water. It was Daisuke who gave Toshiya the gift to communicate with him through water to stay in contact and to warn each other in case of any emergencies.

‘ _I have to communicate quickly, here in heaven things are getting strange….’_

‘ _Tell me.’_

‘ _Several Angel classes are sent to earth, high security contingent… They expect an Angel of… to… be reborn… maybe soon'_

_'Daisuke, I can't hear you!'_

_'Be careful.... demons on earth!'_

And with that the contact broke and the Angel stood motionless on his sink, working on the information he just got.

It was an unusual chilly day and the clouds tinted the gray city even more gray. Although the city was flooded with people at this time of day, Toshiya headed outside to get a clear head. Two reasons made him do so: To get out of the building which reminded him too much on what was going on recently and secondly, he wanted to scan the city for any possible supernatural ongoings. During the process he hoped to maybe find Karyu on his way but it was quite unlikely. Passing all these crowded streets and green parks, Toshiya couldn't help but notice how well he saw ghosts and lost souls on his way, wondering if he always saw them so well. Most of them were weak and already fading so he just passed them without any interference.  
Lost in his thoughts, Toshiya entered a little alleyway to escape the busy street. He walked deeper into the old street when he suddenly froze to the spot. Call it instinct but about 15 meters away a creatures materialized. Tall male, white eyes, crazy black hair and all clad in black. An artificial creature which looked absolutely lethal. Toshiya thought about the Angels of Revenge because this thing looked like the Demon category to it. The creature smiled devilishly at Toshiya and started talking to him in his head.

^You ought to know the creature who kills you: I’m Közi.^ And it started running.

Christ! Toshiya bolted into the direction where he had come from. People obviously couldn’t see the creature running behind him because they only scolded Toshiya for running over things. In a moment of panic Toshiya wished to be invisible again… and it happened. At least he'd figured that out. He turned into another alley way and the noises which came from behind made him shiver. The Demon who followed him sounded like a rabid dog. Its noises inhuman and its paws heavy on the pavement. This Demon must be a shapeshifter because he looked quite human-like at the beginning. But why was it him being chased? Did Mako have something to do with it? Or maybe Zero's death? While running like a mad man, Toshiya turned around to check on the distance between him and the creature. After he turned his attention back to the street he nearly slipped after running into somebody. He caught himself and so did the young man who ran next to him.

“Ryutaro?!”

Taro looked at Toshiya while they were both running for their lives.

“Toshiya! What-?!”

“A creature from hell… hunting me!”

“Me too!”

Another creature with long black curls came running from the alley they had just passed.

“It said its name is Yu~ki… I never asked for it!” That was Taro for you. 

So the two creatures obviously belonged together and they were on a hunt for protégé. They chased the two protégé together, directing them into a direction. Toshiya scanned the area and saw an old office building. So that was their plan.

Toshiya changed to mental communication mode. ^Listen Taro! That rooftop is our only chance to call for help!^

^Okay!^ They entered the old building and headed for the staircase. Behind them the glass wall burst into thousands of pieces, the demons obviously didn’t bother to use any doors. Taro winced while they climbed the stairs like mad. They could never make it up to the roof. Shapeshifters were incredibly fast.

^Faster Taro!^ Toshiya yelled behind him but he was better off with his long legs. Taro was close to cry, exhaustion getting the better of him. Behind them Yu~ki was running but Közi, the shapeshifter had disappeared. Where was he?!

They bolted through the last door on the 13th floor to the very edge of it, eying the metal door. Yu~ki followed shortly after them and when Toshiya turned around, he saw Közi taking shape and grabbing Taro around his throat, ready to drill his sharp fingernails into him. Although Angels couldn't die a mortal death, immortal damage could hurt so much more.

“TARO! NO!”

Toshiya bumped into Közi with his shoulder and they both fell over the edge of the high building while Taro fell down to the ground. Közi opened his demonic wings and lifted himself up in the air while Toshiya's body fell deeper and deeper. Taro's voice pierced through the air. “TOSHIYAAA!”

Everything was over. He would vanish from earth and wake up in heaven as a failure while the Demons would kidnap Taro… no… no…. NO… NOOO, NEVER!!!

Toshiya’s body crumpled together while he fell, unspeakable pain shot through his body, his eyes became red and with a loud scream, only meters away from the ground, a skeleton frame of wings sprouted out of his back, followed by white feathers and two large angelic wings formed. With a quick move he flew a curve high up into heaven again. Flying as if he’d never done anything else. It felt so good… he felt so strong and reborn. And there he was: A true, reborn Guardian Angel, filled up with unknown energy and his eyes beamed red at the scenery in front of him. Taro looked at him in amazement and so did the other Angel next to him, Karyu. The Demons were gone. Toshiya landed on the rooftop and Taro came running towards him and hugged him around his stomach, stammering 'thank you' over and over again. Toshiya patted him on his head and made sure that his friend was all right.

“Look at you!” Karyu smirked and came towards them.

“So glad to see you.” Toshiya told Karyu while he still kept on holding shocked Taro. “ Where are the Demons?”

“They were running, God knows why... cowards.” Lost in thoughts for a moment, Karyu turned his attention back to Toshiya. “Your wings are awesome… Congratulation son.”

Toshiya looked strangely at Karyu who realized his failure. Crap, now of all times he slipped the information.

“What are you saying?”

Karyu scanned the air for help. “Jeez, they never told you, I should have known.”

“Never told me what?”

Karyu looked back at Toshiya with the sharp face of him. He was never a liar and never held back any information so he came out with the truth. “I made you Toshiya… well, on earth that is. The first time you reincarnated on earth. I’m your biological father.”

By the look on Toshiya's face, nothing could have surprised him more, not even his new wings. His hands cramped into Taro's shoulders whom looked surprised himself between the two Angels. “You are not kidding?”

“Never did.”

“That’s impossible…. that would mean… Oh.My.God… Christ! I mean, you and Shinya?! No way, nooooo way... why?!” To Toshiya it made no sense, knowing Die being so possessive about his mother but the truth was that Toshiya was in fact adopted a long time ago from Die and he never knew his real father. Well, that confession explained it all.

“It was a long time ago Toshiya… I lived a terrible life. Nothing to be proud of, except of the outcome and that was you.”

Shocked as he was, Toshiya slumped down to the ground and Taro followed him, held onto his arms.

“So… you and Shinya… were like a thing?” The young Angel stammered.

“Only once.”

“Does Die know?”

“Yeah, the Cherub knows. But we talked it out... More or less.”

Toshiya looked up at Karyu. “Is that the reason why you were there all the time?”

Karyu looked troubled himself. “Christ, I wanted to tell you when the time was right… but yeah, I guess.” Karyu offered his hand and after hesitating, Toshiya took it and Karyu pulled him up from the ground.

“You are something special. I knew it all along.” Karyu smirked at Toshiya and pointed at his eyes. “And I know that Shinya is dead-proud of you too. Especially now.”

Taro looked up at Toshiya too. “Totchi, your eyes are red.”

“What?!”

“You are a wing healer but you already know that. It's a rare gift but not your true profession. The red eyes only come with one category of Angels: The Angels of Death.”

“The what?”

“Angels of Death are soul collectors. If a pure or innocent soul dies, an Angel of Death fetches them to bring them up into heaven.”

And it fell like scales from his eyes. Mako appearing around him, him seeing ghosts and souls more clearly lately. “I never thought....”

“A chip off the old block.... your mother is an Angel of Life. Shinya's so gonna burst... Anyway, whenever you're in action, your eyes become red.”

“What about the wings? Are they constant?” Toshiya touched his own wings in awe and couldn't help but wonder about its softness.

“If you want them to disappear, they will.”

Toshiya sent out one thought and they really disappeared. “Great, now I feel so much more badass.”

Karyu rolled his eyes. “You're definitely hanging out with me too much. Shinya's gonna kick my ass.”

Toshiya smiled but turned his attention back at Taro who looked at him in total awe.

“Taro, don’t look at me like that.”

“Thank you so much for saving me!” Taro hugged the taller Angel again and he smiled.

“It was Karyu…”

“The both of you.” The little one added.

“I didn't really do anything. They disappeared shortly after I arrived which is strange.” Karyu made a thinking face, finding all of this very fishy. “Anyway, next time you call out for me RIGHT AWAY, you understand?”

“Yes dad, I will dad.”

Karyu shook his head. “Christ, really....” He tousled his hair. “I still can't believe it myself. But your tall body size is proof enough, plus your strength and your charisma of course, all my traits.” Karyu smirked and Toshiya rolled his eyes.

“And the very best things I inherited from my mum I guess?”

“Of course.”

Karyu turned around and waved up in the air. “Next time, you call for me!” And with a gust of wind, Karyu had disappeared.

From a safe distance, the secret Demon Angel Reita observed the whole situation and he drew his conclusions: Protégé Toshiya finally earned his wings which made him a fully proofed Guardian Angel now. But days before that he was attacked by mind reader demon Zero, Demon of Death Mako came into contact with him and earlier the ‘Special Field Action’-Demons Közi and Yu~ki were after Toshiya and Ryutaro… that was very strange, suspicious and made no sense. It was well known that Demons loved to tease young Angels on earth but all this seemed like a whole new category of something even secret Demon Angel Reita couldn't grasp.

The invisible Angel disappeared from earth and traveled back to the spheres of heaven to report everything he'd witnessed to Metatron Kamijo.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
 _Toshiya bumped into Közi with his shoulder and they both fell over the edge of the high building._

Hakuei up in heaven stopped in his tracks and he gripped onto his chest in pain. It was an unknown feeling of pain which felt like his dead heart beat in shock and it buzzed through his head. He lost balance and slumped down to the ground. Shinya, who was right next to him at the moment caught him at his arm before he completely lost it as he was wrinkling in agony. “Hakuei! What is it?!” And he completely passed out. Shinya slumped down next to him in panic and cradled his head on his knees, calling for Hakuei over and over again.

The unconscious Angel saw everything out of Toshiya's eyes. _The fall, the wings spreading out his back only seconds before he hit the ground and him lifting up majestically into the air and on a rooftop, Karyu and Taro looking back at him, at this red eyes._ And then the vision was gone again. Hakuei was only granted to see so much. He drew in a deep breath and opened his eyes again, staring into Shinya who leaned over him.

“Hakuei?! What happened?! Are you all right?!”

“Toshiya...”

“What about him?!”

“He got his wings...”

“Ohmygod!”

“And red eyes.”

And they both knew what that meant. “Impossible...” Shinya stammered while Hakuei slowly leaned up from the lying position on Shinya's knees. He remained sitting on the ground, his arms leaned over his knees. The petite Angel touched Hakuei's arm and looked at him worried. He knew that something wasn't all right with Hakuei, that's why he met him today and the other days before. It seemed that only Shinya had noticed that the once so proud and strong Guardian Angel started to withdraw himself from everything. Life, friends, any social contacts....

“You know....” Hakuei finally started. “It's just like it used to be. Him being on earth and I'm watching him from a distance, making a new life...”

“Without you in it?”

A long pause followed.

“Without me in it.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“I can’t await for you to meet Tadashi!” 

And Toshiya welcomed the distraction. He really needed some time away from his apartment and he happily obliged to follow Taro into town. On the other hand he would have done so anyway after all the commotion earlier. Now they were better off together, just in case something else could occur.

They entered a well known Park and Taro kept on talking and asking Toshiya a lot of things about his own protégé and his temporary life on earth. Taro was just happy to have met a friend in his immediate surroundings and Toshiya was glad too. Ni~ya wasn't really there next to no fun to be around with.

“In fact I'm living with Ni~ya's protégé on the same floor!”

“No way! How is Ni~ya?”

“His old self I guess.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, he's invisible to his protégé so I hardly see him... which is no loss I must confess. He was rather rude the last time I contacted him.” Taro touched him on his arm sympathetically. “At least I'm happy to have you again.”

Toshiya smiled back at Taro who suddenly forgot space and time and ran over to a blonde guy on a bench. Tadashi, a blond art student with tousled hair and thick glasses on, stood up with a smile on his lips when Taro skipped towards him.

“Hey Taro.” Tadashi smiled and by the colors of Tadashi's aura Toshiya got it immediately. They both beamed at each other, forgetting about Toshiya when the tall Angel finally cleared his throat.

“Oh Tadashi, that’s my good old friend Toshiya who recently moved to Tokyo. I just bumped into him this morning.” Literally.

“Nice to meet you.” Tadashi greeted him friendly.

“Pleasure is all mine.” Toshiya added. “So what are you guys doing the rest of the day?” 

“Art school,” Ryutaro answered, “that’s where we've met.”

Toshiya lifted one brow. “Ah I see.” So Taro's disguise was art school while he himself was a host boy and personal assistant to a clan boss. What a career he had made. Taro turned his attention back to Toshiya while Tadashi looked lost in his thoughts into the air, still holding his sketch book in one hand and a pencil in the other. He was really a peculiar little fellow and seemed not quite there. Tadashi murmured something they both couldn’t understand, then he pulled out an apple from his bag and looked at it. “This apple…. It’s so… red.” He started drawing it.

“You see, I'm fine.” Taro said and he sincerely was, Toshiya could tell. “What about you?” Taro wanted to know.

“Let's meet another time and I will show you where I live.”

“That would be great.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Later after Taro and Toshiya had left, Karyu returned to the rooftop where they had been attacked earlier. Because Karyu, as an Angel of war, knew that culprits always returned to the crime scene. The wind played with his golden brown hair and strands of it fell into his face. He leaned against his spear, smelling the air, feeling the energy surrounding him. He didn't get why these Demons only chased the protégé. What Karyu never told them was that Demons of this rank could have easily killed them off with the blink of an eye but they didn't. Instead they were hunting them.... Why?

“What an honor….”

A deep voice started talking behind Karyu's back and he whirled around. It was Yu~ki.

“… to finish off the Angel who killed Zero.” Közi finished it, he stood opposite of Yu~ki and Karyu stood in between the two of them.

Karyu smiled. “Aaaaah, I see. Now I get it.” He paused. “You know, I hate breaking it to you.... But that bitch deserved it. Attacking an Angel to be killed, guess what? You will be killed in return. It's the law of nature.”

“That’s very brave of someone so obviously..... in danger.” Yu~ki started walking around his prey and so did Közi.

“Says the Demon pack who only attacks in pair and innocent Angels on top of it.”

Yu~ki smiled a devilishly. “You have no idea.” And at the same time a paralyzing pain hit Karyu at the back of his head. His long spear clattered to the ground and disappeared, like it always did when loosing Karyu's grip. The tall Angel tried to hold himself up on his feet but the magic attack paralyzed all his senses and he went limp.

“You blood-dy c-cowards-” He pressed out before his view became black and went unconscious.

 


	22. Chapter 22

 Song to this chapter: 08-My profession is your decline

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--GkEfOH-L4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--GkEfOH-L4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=8)

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 22

 

_My profession is your decline_

 

 

 

 

And Toshiya thought that he had problems with Kaoru. Finding out that Karyu was in fact his biological father only added to the strangeness, not to mention recent attacks and God knows what. After meeting Taro this morning, he made his way back to his recent home with laaaarge detours in between, maybe to spend some extra time outside, or maybe to spend some more time alone. He still couldn't figure out what to think about his recent situation with his protege who was not only physically strong. Toshiya also feared that Kaoru could overpower him, suck him dry, drain him.... this 'job' could cost him a lot of energy and maybe even sanity. A foreboding feeling which left a bitter taste on his tongue.

Did Hakuei know about all this? What did he actually see or even feel in heaven? Since Toshiya left heaven they haven't been in contact and it strangely left an empty space somewhere inside of him. To him, Hakuei had always been impeccable and strong and although he seemed all cool to the outside, inside he was lovingly and warm. That was something Toshiya discovered after spending enough time with him, a fact Hakuei maybe didn't even seem to know about himself but what made him only more loveable.

Now after being apart, Toshiya realized how much he got used to being watched over and cared for. A feeling he never knew before and admitting it, he got used to it only way too fast. Coming home and being alone again was something he knew from his past life but the warmth of somebody at night was a luxury one should cherish because it could be over way too soon. Hakuei made him the soul he was today, carried him through the hard times, believed in him when no one else did.... he owed him everything... everything.

  
Feeling hurt for no special reason, Toshiya pulled up the black hood of his coat and covered his head from the increasing rain. Noises started to echo louder because of the wet streets, the city dirt started to become alive and drenched his trousers. Passing the busy restaurants on his way, he suddenly came to a halt. He felt his eyes change into his knew gained red vision and he entered an old house behind the main street in natural reflex. He passed the closed doors with ease when he became invisible and stopped in a tiny, old living room of a strange woman.

She was nearly dead, her soul slowly leaving her mortal body.

“Are you taking me with you Angel?”

She wasn't supposed to see him. Toshiya lifted down his hood and looked back at her.

“I will send you back to a place full of love and light.”

She smiled. “That sounds…. good.” And then she closed her eyes and her soul dissolved from her body. Toshiya stepped closer and took the soul in between his hands. He whispered a rhyme in a language he himself had never heard before. The soul dissolved and Toshiya knew that he sent it back to heaven.

The red eyes faded and he came back to his human-like senses, taking human shape again.

In shock, he looked at his hands and only slowly realized what he had done.... what his gift really was. And he remained standing there on the spot, breathing in the feeling of death..  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Down in hell, Miyavi informed Sugizo about the overdue arrival of Yu~ki and Közi, Special Demon Guards of Gackt's army. A devilish smile formed on Lucifer's lips when the two Demons dragged in the unconscious Angel.

Sugizo stepped down from his throne, enjoying every moment of success in his long strides. With a cold look he looked down onto the limp body in his Demon's arms..

“So that's the bastard who killed Zero.” He gripped into Karyu's hair and yanked up his head, studying Karyu's sharp features.

“Put him into the dungeons and make sure he's chained on tightly.” The Demons left and Sugizo addressed Miyavi behind him. “Miyavi, I've got a special task for you on earth... my shapeshifter.”

Yu~ki and Közi dragged Karyu out of Sugizo's hall and they went down, even deeper into the pits of hell. They entered a very long and dark corridor, passing countless cells and closed doors. A sudden shift in the air made them both stop and turn around. They bowed down immediately.

It was Kirito, the Dark Lord's son himself... they got caught.

“Kirito-sama.” They answered in unison while the Prince of Darkness walked towards them, each step echoing like a dark threat through the cold corridor. Kirito wasn't of large height but it was something in his aura, a single look which promised that he could seriously damage within the blink of an eye. They all feared him and his sudden eruptions, not to mention his boundless, dark powers.

Kirito looked down at the bundle of unconscious Angel while he addressed the two Demons.

“You should have come to me first.” He hissed under his breath.

They bowed again. “We’re terribly sorry.”

Kirito ignored them and with his black leather gloved hands, he lifted up Karyu’s chin and looked him into the face.

“So that’s the one.”

“Yes Master,” Yu~ki answered, “we will throw him into the dungeons.”

“Contact me as soon as he’s awake.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Too long he has been observing his every step... the way he combed his hair behind his ear, the sudden gasps in between breaths as if he had to remind himself of breathing, the shy smiles to his colleagues, his slow but elegant moves.... Kaoru studied his new employee like an insect. A rare butterfly which he had found in between the dirt of the streets. And he picked it up and brought it back home with him, into his private collection. Into his club where Toshiya was working for him now. Some may think that this fragile butterfly could break under Kaoru's big empire but he personally would make sure that nothing ever happened. He belonged to his collection now.

But Toshiya was not aware of any of those facts. Too naive for Kaoru's gazes, too young to realize what wanting and possessing is.

Kaoru wanted Toshiya from the moment he lay eyes on him. He wanted him in his collection like he never wanted any other butterfly before. Of course he met dozens of beautiful people before, men and and women alike but it was something within Toshiya that shone bright and made the others look like pebble in comparison. And the most alluring of it all was the fact that Toshiya was totally unaware of his effect on others which made him even more pure and precious. He maybe felt a gust of guilt but sooner or later he would possess him. Come what may.

Being extra cautious of Toshiya, Kaoru approached him one day.

“Toshiya?” The young man jolted by the warm touch on his shoulder and turned around.

Collected, Kaoru looked back into those eyes which hunted him at night.” Is everything all right?” He seemed all business, like always.

Toshiya looked surprised back at him. “Yes, why?”

“I just wanted to let you know, if there is anything ever bothering you please come and talk to me. There is nothing which can't be solved.”

Toshiya gave one of his rare smiles. “That's very kind of you but I'm fine.”

Hasty nods followed with an almost whispered 'thank you' before Toshiya disappeared as fast as he could into the kitchen. OF COURSE Kaoru knew about Toshiya's shy nature but it didn't help his smitten awareness of him at all.

And Toshiya, as naïve as he was, didn't realize any of these inner turmoils Kaoru was fighting with. To him he was the perfect polite gentlemen and his approach an attempt to get to know his protege better.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Dark, heavy eyes looked out of the window. The wind blew raindrops against the glass and the temperature outside felt like a reflection of his heart. In reflex, Hakuei encircled his knees with his arms and he pulled his legs closer, nuzzling his nose against them, closing his eyes, living the moment in silence.

It was a rainy day in heaven which was rear but also necessary. Usually Hakuei hated the rain but today it just felt perfect.... an aching pain which wandered down his throat to his chest.

Suddenly, a warm hand touched his shoulder tenderly. Startled, he turned around and found himself looking into a warm pair of eyes, the auburn hair making them shine in beautiful green although there was hardly light outside today.

“Hakuei, are you all right?”

“Shinya.” Hakuei stood up and gave the petite Angel a hug.

“I was concerned about you.... You are hardly attending the official meetings these days.”

Hakuei knew that and felt too sorry for himself to deny it. He could have told Shinya why but honestly he didn't really know himself. And yet it seemed like Shinya was able to look through him completely.

“You miss him.”

It was an understatement.

“Hn.” Was the most stupid answer he could come up with.

“You love him.”

Hearing the words said out loud send a shock through him. “WHA-?! What gives you that impression?!”

Shinya smiled sweetly at himself. “You better ask me what gives me NOT that impression.”

Was he that obvious? Too obvious in the actions he didn't show, too obvious in the words he didn't say and too obvious in the glances he made with or without _him_.

He settled down on his windowsill again, crossing his arms in front of his chest. He was a mess and pitiful on top of it. The one fact he knew was true and he still denied it to himself.

“Well maybe it's natural to feel attached to ones protege and-” The young Angel looked into a very annoyed glare from Shinya which made him stop his half-hearted excuses. Beaten, Hakuei looked down onto his hands and Shinya continued. “It's all over you. It's in the way you talk and are silent. Trust me, I know... and I'm happy about it.”

Shinya went down on his knees and took Hakuei's hands into his. He looked up at him into that heavy, sad face. “I owe you everything Hakuei. Without you, Toshiya would have been lost. You saved him in so many ways I never could....” Shinya wanted to say so much more but he knew that it wasn't his place to. “... but I'm afraid it is his choice.”

Hakuei looked back at Shinya.

“You have to tell him how you feel.”

Hakuei sucked in a heavy breath. “You know... I....” He let go off Shinya's hands and stood up. Nervously he walked up and down the tiny room. “It's hard. I wish he just.... knew.”

“When the right time comes he will know. Make sure to tell him how you feel too.” The rest of Shinya's unspoken words would have been ' _because you never know.'_

It was still hard for Hakuei to admit it to himself. Not that he was a coward when it came to feelings... well maybe he was too... but he was more concerned about his role in this game. He was a Guardian Angel, someone in a leading position and to look up to and becoming 'all soft' on someone he had to be responsible for, it was not that easy for a controlled soul like him.

“Sometimes Guardian Angels and Protege fall in love. And sometimes Protege fall in love with their Protege on earth. It is the Protege's choice what to make of it. That's their power. They still have the right to choose. A life in heaven or on earth.”

Hakuei didn't comment on that. He knew about Kaoru and early on Hakuei had discovered the looks that human gave his Toshiya... HIS Toshiya. Great, now Toshiya was already 'his'.

“No matter what happens Hakuei, you are part of our family. Surely you must know that. I love you like a son.”

And it was the first smile in days when Hakuei embraced Shinya. “Thank you so much.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Karyu slowly opened his eyes. His view was blurry and his head hurt like hell… the roots of his wings felt numb because of the paralyzation. Moving was almost impossible since they chained him down in some dark and filthy chamber. He heard voices outside but was still to weak to make them out. Slowly he moved into a sitting position.

And he knew exactly where he was. The energy in hell was different from the one in heaven which naturally weakened any Angel entering the sphere. With pain, the last moments on earth replayed in Karyu's head… the two Demons who kidnapped him but strange voices outside made him focus on what they are talking about.

“… he brings more and more souls down here….”

Souls? Karyu wondered. Only Demons of Death brought souls down to hell.

“Yeah, we never had so many souls down here. I wonder what they’re planning to do.”

“Me too…. Must be because of the whole Prophecy-thing with the teleporter. I tell you, everybody’s going nuts and at last there will be war. But if you ask me, with all these souls our army will be the strongest.”

Karyu tried to concentrate on his magical power but it was hopeless in hell. Mighty Angels were able to act in any spheres but in comparison he was still an apprentice. Exhausted, he slumped back on the ground and some plaited strands cared over his face.... a reminder of someone far away. He wondered how long it would take heaven to discover him gone.  
  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  


Gackt, Leader of the Demon Army and on his mission on earth, walked unseen by anyone mortal through the city. Clad in his dark uniform and with a large wolf by his side. Yuana was never a soul to talk much and when he did, they talked in thoughts.

In front of one building, Gackt suddenly stopped and he looked up to the roof.

'Wait here, I will be back soon.'

The wolf settled down and Gackt unfolded his demonic wings. He flew high up into the air and landed gracefully on the roof top. It seemed as if that someone was waiting for him.

“Kazu, Angel of Revenge…” Gackt nodded slightly. Kazu had a similar position in heaven like Gackt in hell. They were both leading the fighting class of their worlds and yet their encounters were luckily rather rare.

Kazu nodded back. “Gackt, long time no see. What brings you here?”

“I could ask you the same question.”

“Well,” Kazu started, “someone has to look out for our young Angels, since they’ve become main target for your kind…” Kazu realized Yuana waiting at the entrance of the skyscraper. But he wasn’t alone either.

Gackt hissed under his breath. “You can thank your own Angels for that.” Gackt was referring to Zero’s death.

“He left us no choice.” Kazu said and in the same moment, ‘Karyu’ appeared next to him. Gackt was surprised about his sudden appearance.

“So you’re the one who killed Zero….” Gackt looked the Angel in the eyes and realized immediately that it was Miyavi. He smiled knowingly. “Well, I gotta go Gentlemen.”

“So soon? I thought we’re having a conversation.” Kazu said.

“Some other time. See you, Kazu.” And Gackt jumped off the skyscraper and flew into the distance.

Everything hell did these days was extremely fishy. And Gackt being on earth together with Yuana was more than suspicious. He looked back at 'Karyu'.  
  
“Did you notice something Karyu?”

Instead of his all time witty or annoying answers, Karyu simply shook his head.

“You're not talking much today, eh?”

Fact was that as a form changer it was dangerous to give false information away, information he couldn't possibly know.

“Maybe it's because you're missing someone special?” Kazu was referring to Hizumi. Their 'kind of relationship' was well known among good friends and totally obvious for the not totally blind.

“No, why?” Was Karyu's answer.

Kazu nodded. “All right. Well look, I have to go up into heaven because of some business talk. I want you to stay on earth and have an eye on our youngsters. We will be back from heaven at midnight. Meet us here then.”

Karyu nodded and Kazu took off. In no time he was back home and entered the portals with quick steps. He fought countless Demons during the wars and he smelled it when something was wrong.

“Kazu?” Hizumi behind the portals realized the Angel of Revenge returning early and he looked at him with worry in his face. He had this strange feeling that something was not all right and when it came to Karyu it unfortunately mostly proved to be right.

“Not now Hizumi!” And Kazu passed him and took the turn onto the corridor of Kamijo's hall.

Meanwhile, Kamijo was talking to his secret Angel Reita, the Demon Angel and heavenly spy no one knew about. He came back to Metatron to tell him about his observations from earth and the news were most interesting. They talked in thoughts with each other since Reita hasn't used his voice in decades. It was about Demon's wandering the surface and rumors about an higher ranked Angel taken hostage.

In that moment a loud knock on the door broke their contact. It was Kazu's alarmed voice and Kamijo waved Reita off.

“Come in!”

Kazu stormed in and came to a halt. “Karyu is gone!”

“What do you mean?”

“I talked to him earlier but it wasn't him. It was a form changer.”

Kamijo stood up in shock. “Are you sure about that?”

“Absolutely sure. I know Karyu and this being took only his form. They took Karyu. Karyu is gone.”

“They wouldn't dare.”

“Well, in consideration of the fact that he killed Zero...”

Kamijo narrowed his eyes. “What’s that Form Changer doing now?”

“I don’t know. I couldn't possibly bring him up with me into heaven.“ Kazu said. “I left him on earth and I told him to meet me at midnight.”

“Very well. Then let's hope that he will be there. But you won't go there alone. That situation is grief and taking an Angel hostage is impossible. I’ll send Seraph Kazuki with you.”

Kazu widened his eyes. “But Metatron-sama he…”

“Taking an Angel hostage is one thing but stealing his identity is treason on our kind. They are working on a greater plan here. We have to find out what it is.”

Kazuki was a Seraphim, one of the three mightiest Angels in heaven and the only Angel of time, able to control time.

“And Kazu?”

Kazu turned around one last time before leaving.

“Make sure that this form changer returns Karyu.”  
  


 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Deep down in hell, Karyu awoke like from a deep long sleep. The dark magic slowly wore off but he was still weakened from the devilish sphere and unable to use his strength. The darkness and smell was almost unbearable and the strange voices and noises only added to the strangeness of this place.

He had no idea what time or day it was or for how long he had been asleep. No one seemed to care about him either which made him wonder whether he has been brought here to be forgotten. If the others knew about his absence? What about Hizumi? He always worried too much, that strange Angel.

Fact was that Karyu hat no idea that Miyavi, the form changer was walking around with his features, not mentioning about the plan from hell or why they brought him here.

With a loud creak, the door to his cell opened. Közi and Yu~ki entered, releasing Karyu from his chains and helping him out the cell into the corridor. Karyu’s eyes were dazzled by the dim light and he felt weak. They dragged him up many stairs and along countless corridors. Karyu noticed the carpets becoming thicker and the halls wider. After a long dragging around they entered the last hall after a careful knock. In a wide black decorated dramatic room, at the very end of it a Demon stood up from his throne.

“Dark Lord Kirito-sama, here’s the Angel you asked for.”

Kirito nodded and Közi and Yu~ki dropped him on the floor. With a wave of Kirito’s hand, they left the hall again. Kirito walked towards the Angel. The aura around him was mighty, almost palpable.

“So you are the proud of Gods army…” He looked down at Karyu whom was still kneeling on the floor and the Angel looked up at him. Of course he knew who Kirito was. The Devil's son himself.

“Didn't know that I had this reputation in hell.... What do you want from me?” He coughed out loud, not shy about his tone.

“You? Nothing.” Kirito walked around Karyu. “I want to know what Lucifer wants from you.”

“Well....” Karyu took all his strength and stood up, standing insecure on his weak legs. “Maybe he took it personal with the Demon-killing.... by the way, sorry about that.”

Kirito narrowed his eyes.

“Usually I can hold back my temper,” which was an outright lie, “but he threatened my son, hope you understand.”

Kirito remained silent and by his gaze Karyu couldn't tell whether he liked or disliked what he just heard.

“I will make you an offer.” Karyu started.

Kirito looked amused. “What is it that YOU can offer ME?”

“A very important information.”

Kirito thought a moment about it. “I could torture it out of you.”

“Nah, surely you must know that we are resistant to pain.”

“Not the mental one...” A sadistic smile on Kirito's face and Karyu thought about how he could protect Hizumi and Toshiya at the same time.

But Kirito shook his head. “Medieval times... Your freedom for your secret.”

And Karyu grinned.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was close to midnight and the moon shone bright onto the high roof tops of dark Tokyo.

Kazu and Seraph Kazuki were already on the meeting point of the roof. They both said no word, waiting with anticipation for the wrong ‘Karyu’ to show up.

“He’s coming, I can feel him.” Kazuki changed his eyes into a violet color. “I’m hiding.” Kazuki became invisible.

The wrong Karyu landed on the roof top and now it was Kazu's turn to pretend as if everything was normal.

“Any news?” ‘Karyu asked.

Kazu looked at him. “Indeed….” And from one moment to the other, Kazuki reappeared behind Karyu and seized him only with his willpower. Immediately the false Karyu realized that his disguise had failed.

“Show us your real face, form changer!” Kazuki hissed from behind while Kazu stood in front of him.

An insane laughter with a strange voice. “What is my face to you? What are you planning to do?”

Kazu lost his cool and he slapped the form changers face hard before he pulled him further up on his throat. “And you will bring the real Karyu back to us!”

“Kazu, stop!” Kazuki screamed from behind while he still seized the form changer with his willpower. The stroke though brought back the form changers real face, Miyavi. In that moment, Gackt and Yuana appeared on the roof top. The wolf growled in a deep tone and Gackt didn't look happy either, especially after finding a Seraphim here.

“You’re threatening a high class demon? Let him go!” Gackt shouted.

“You are holding an Angel hostage and we want him back, now.” Kazuki answered.

Gackt looked surprised because he indeed didn't know about it. Maybe he heard something on the wind but no details were discussed with him. That was purely Lucifer's business.

“All right.” Kazuki started anew. “Since we are not making any progress here, we are forced to take the form changer with us and we will call in for an official exchange in heaven with the highest representatives attending.”

Gackt battled with himself but realized Yuana sensing something in the air. The wolf lay down on the ground when a portal formed and Yu~ki and Közi appeared, holding a weak but alive Karyu in between. They all looked at them totally astonished. They tossed Karyu on the floor and Kazu hurried over to him and helped him up. Reluctantly, Kazuki let Miyavi go and the form changer ran over into secure space between Yu~ki and Közi.

“There will be consequences.” Were Kazuki's last words before he disappeared together with Kazu and a half unconscious Karyu.

 


	23. Chapter 23

Songs to this chapter:

 **06 – Carnival of Lies** (Hell's theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YLfI5sJQSQ&index=6&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YLfI5sJQSQ&index=6&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

**07 - -soil-** (Kaoru & Toshiya's theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2cUyANaL4U&index=7&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2cUyANaL4U&index=7&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 23

 

_The Carnival of Lies_

 

 

 

Being popular wasn't always good.... It could taste bitter, very bitter.

Toshiya made this experience soon after the race was over and when they were all back to their normal working days. It started with the younger staff ignoring him at work and answering to his questions shortly or not at all. The elders ignored him altogether because he was the lowest in hierarchy anyway. When he wanted to change his clothing after work, he found them on the dirty floor. But it became really concerning when clients asked him to be served by other colleagues. After a while, Toshiya found out that they badmouthed him even in front of the clients and that was really too much.

They bullied him at work. In a sneaking but hurtful way. Soon, no one talked to him anymore but Toshiya couldn't possibly tell Kaoru. Because it would result in Kaoru talking to the staff and they would only hate him more afterwards.

It was a hopeless situation.

Reaching that point, Toshiya even thought about quitting and disappearing from Kaoru's life.... well at least the visible way. Maybe Ni~ya's way in looking after ones protege invisibly was not too bad after all.

It became even so bad that Toshiya started to ignore Kaoru as much as possible. He only answered his questions quickly and avoided eye contact. When Kaoru was his usual flirty self, it was even harder to stay all business and being short with him.

Of course Kaoru realized the changes. Which forced him to act since Toshiya only gave him half-hearted excuses.

It was a busy night on the weekend and Kaoru's club was full with people. His hosts were all hard working, including Toshiya who wore a sad face behind his artificial smiles, or at least Kaoru could tell. The music was loud and plenty of alcohol served. The atmosphere was all party and the air was sticky.

That was when the electricity came down and everything went off. Moments later the lights went on, laughter and conversations died down and everybody looked around and up the stairs where Kaoru suddenly appeared.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this party is officially over today due to personal business. We kindly ask you to leave our establishment and want to thank you for being our guests today.”

Puzzled, customers and staff, people acted kind of automatically like robots. Customers collected their belongings and streamed outside the doors.

“I want my staff to remain here in this room.”

His voice was cold and absolutely business-like. Sheepishly, the old and young employees gathered in the middle of the room, everybody feeling guilty for a crime they yet didn't know of but no one dared to ask or say a single word. Something like that never occurred before.

Kaoru looked down on them from his position above on the stairs which lead into the main restaurant. Toshiya felt like they gathered underneath him like sheep, ready to be slaughtered.

“I'm watching this for a few weeks now.... how people are changing like the weather. And let me tell you this: One drop of oil pollutes all the water. The water you are all drinking from.”

Deliberately, Kaoru walked down the stairs into his bar and stopped in front of his twenty-something crew. He looked at all the faces which were either looking around the room or down to their feet sheepishly.

“Something inside our circle is poisoning my business and I won't tolerate any of this. I don't know why and who started it and I don't care. But I can tell you this: If business is not back to normal until the end of next week, I will keep the financial damage from all your wages until the poison in our midst has died down or I will personally take action. Did I make myself clear?”

Deep bows from all the staff with no word spoken. Only Kaoru's steps echoed through the room, up the stairs again.

“You are dismissed.” And the door closed loudly shut behind him.

Guilty and embarrassed, the employees started cleaning up the bar and restaurant. Toshiya and Sakito did so too but all they exchanged were doubtful glances. Sakito had no idea what Kaoru was referring to but Toshiya knew exactly about Kaoru's little coop. This had nothing to do with money because that he obviously had enough... this was about personal matters.

For the first time, Toshiya felt the urge to actually talk to Kaoru. He didn't really know about what but he had this urge to, well, maybe comfort him? Telling him that everything would be all right? He was his Guardian Angel after all.

As inconspicuously as possible, Toshiya sneaked around the establishment, outside the corridors and onto the floor where the private apartments were but there was no sign of Kaoru. In the midst of walking around, Toshiya came to a halt and concentrated. He was an Angel after all and should be able to feel his protege's energy.... he concentrated, tried to locate Kaoru but to no avail. He must have left the skyscraper completely.

Sticky and sweaty, Toshiya walked up a few more floors until he reached the roof of the building. The fresh air was an welcomed change and the bright stars at night something that calmed him down and made him sentimental, reminding him of _home_.

Exhausted from the stressful night, he leaned against the reeling and looked down.

A voice in the dark startled him almost to death but the warmth in it soothed him immediately.

“It's just me, calm down.”

“Kaoru! I was looking for you everywhere!”

Was it too honest? Toshiya could almost feel the surprised expression on Kaoru's face in the dark.

“Why?

“I was... well concerned.”

A husky breath. “Then you are the first. All the others are scared.... so scared of me. Are you not scared?”

“Me? No, should I?”

“Oh yes, I'm a dangerous man.”

“I know but not to the innocent.”

An awkward pause followed but Toshiya couldn't interpret it. So he took all his courage and asked about Kaoru acting that way earlier.

“So you knew?” Toshiya referred to the bullying and him being excluded.

“I'm not stupid Toshiya. I know my people and I see and hear everything.”

It was only an assumption before but now he had the proof that this was about him being dissed the past few weeks.

“I will do my best! Please forgive me if I disappointed you.”

Footsteps in the dark and the smell of tobacco came closer. The wind suddenly stopped caring over his face and his cold cheek suddenly felt warm. “You are the innocent here and I protect the innocent right?” Toshiya could literally feel the warm smile. “Didn't you say so yourself?”

A hesitant nod, followed by puzzlement that it should be Toshiya protecting the innocent and not the other way round. Plus the older, alluring man standing way too close to him. It was his scent, his aura... he was a very charming man and Toshiya too young, too inexperienced in literally everything.

“God you make me do things I never did before.”

Before Toshiya was able to ask, the sudden feel of cold, firm lips on his own took all his breath and sense away. Kaoru's tight grip under his chin forced him to stay still, giving the older man all the control he needed while Toshiya hold onto his arms clumsily.... he was frozen to the spot in shock by the sudden intimacy and from himself when his eyes slowly closed and his lips automatically parted. A moan escaped his mouth when he felt Kaoru caressing him with his tongue. He kissed him deeply once, twice, three times before Kaoru pulled back, turning away from Toshiya immediately.

“I shouldn't have done this. I'm sorry.”

Kaoru left the baffled young Angel behind. Only the loud shut of the iron door woke Toshiya from his state, his fingers touching his warmed up lips. His head was completely empty and only one question came into his mind: _What happened?_

He felt dizzy.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
Kamijo stormed out of his hall inside the holy spheres as soon as he realized that Seraph Kazuki and Kazu had returned from earth. His steps echoed inside the corridor of the holy halls, passing the meeting halls and walking straight to the Seraphim hall where Aiji and Kai were already waiting.

Meanwhile, in the distance at the heavenly border, Cherubim Hizumi saw the two Angels returning and Kazu was holding someone in his arms. It felt as if all of Hizumi's life force was sucked out of him at once. His spear clattered down to the floor and Die, not far away from him, started yelling behind him.

Hizumi reached Kazu with Karyu on his arms and he touched the fainted Angel's face. “Karyu! Karyu wake up!”

“He's weakened from dark magic. We need to see the Seraphim at once.”

They didn't stop walking and left a baffled Hizumi behind whom was joined immediately by Die who comforted him. Their steps echoed into the holy halls until they were out of sight.

“Kazuki, finally!” Kai said when they entered and Aiji closed the doors behind them. They settled Karyu down onto a long couch. Kazu and Kazuki stepped back while Kai settled himself down next to Karyu. Kamijo observed everything with a very critical eye and Kazuki joined him.

“They kidnapped him, reason unknown.”

Kamijo nodded. “We will see what Karyu has to say about that.”

Meanwhile, Kai placed his hands over Karyu's chest, starting the healing process. As the only one among the Seraphim he possessed the strength to heal dark magic.

And as if he knew something, Aiji walked over to the door and opened it. Seconds later, Hizumi appeared totally out of breath, his pain showing in his eyes. Aiji looked back at Kamijo who nodded and Hizumi stepped inside.

Shaking and totally nervous, he stepped next to the couch and observed Kai healing Karyu. He jolted when a hand came to rest on his shoulder. It was Aiji, the Seraphim and Angel of Moods who felt every change of energy and mood in the air. Only by his slight touch, he calmed the nervous Angel down and his silent but shy smile made Hizumi believe that everything would be all right.

Kai was their best healer and as such he stood above all the other healers, the wing healers like Toshiya included.

“He will be all right.” It was Kai who spoke up. “I nearly got him.”

Hizumi nodded nervously.

“No offense but you looked a thousand times worse than he does right now, Hizumi.”

Hizumi looked at him in disbelieve. “What? When?”

“We were all there when Kai healed you from Demon Zero's attack…” Kazu said from behind them and the mere thought of it sent a shiver down his spine. It was not only a mere death experience, he WAS dead and only Karyu and Kai acting so quick brought him back to this afterlife. Although it nearly cost him his eye sight, in fact his eyes stayed all white ever since.

“Thank you again for all you have done to help us.”

Kai nodded under his concentration.

Aiji stepped to the door a second time and opened it without a comment. Archangel Kami stormed in with his usual stressed face and he looked over to his secret lover Kai. No one inside this room knew about them having feelings for each other, well, except of Aiji of course who left it uncommented.

“Metatron-sama! Is everything all right?” Kami's gaze switched from Kai to unconscious Karyu to stressed out Hizumi to the calm trio of Metatron, Kazuki and Kazu.

“Hardly. We will have a talk later with all the Archangels too.”

Kami nodded.

“Hizumi,” Kai said, “come on over and hold onto Karyu's hand. We need all the energy we can get and it will make him feel better.”

And Hizumi happily obliged.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya stood beside himself. He felt different but at the same time everything was unchanged. The world was the same like yesterday but maybe it was his point of view that has changed. Into what he didn't know himself.

There was not a single chance of getting any sleep last night, everything in his head was working and countless repeating and thinking. How did it get so quickly out of hand? Was it his fault? Did he give Kaoru the impression that it was okay to act this way? And how did he feel about it? Sure Toshiya was shocked, surprised and yet.... he didn't feel all bad. Maybe it was the first time he ever felt kind of connected to his protege. Times with Kaoru were never easy. He was impossible to read, to access and even talk to. Thinking about it clearly now, there was little Toshiya knew about his personality. Kaoru kept his facade up like the perfect businessman he was.

Only yesterday evening he let his guard down for a single moment and it came so unexpected that it shocked him.

How should Toshiya react towards him now? Soon he came to the conclusion to act as if nothing had happened because now it was him who had to keep up the facade. In fact, the idea to silently leave Kaoru's life and watching him as an invisible Guardian Angel, started to make more and more sense.

The season started to change and the nights and days became cooler. Toshiya pulled up the zipper of his coat after he tiptoed out of the building. Making a turn in town, observing what was going on on the astral level outside and maybe having a talk with Ryutaro later. He turned onto the main street and his eyes changed into a red color without him being able to control it. He had become invisible too and his senses were on high alert. Demon intrusion and a very familiar one on top of it.

 _Mako_! Toshiya thought and to his regret he saw someone familiar passing him in this moment. Sakito, running, as always too late for art school. Just at that moment the air started to shiver and with an invisible power, Toshiya sent Sakito with a strong wind force against a wall into the nearby alley. Ni~ya who was not far out of reach started yelling at Toshiya. They were both on the same astral level now, being invisible to the world.

^Are you out of your fucking mind?! Never touch my protégé again!^

^Silence!^ Toshiya turned from furious Ni~ya back to the center of the street, looking into the air where Mako appeared floating and smiling at both of them with pure insanity.

^Ni~ya, take Sakito and run.^ Ni~ya was perplex, not knowing what was going on…^RUN!^ Toshiya yelled and miraculously Sakito took another direction and Ni~ya followed.

The Angel of Death and the Demon of Death glared at each other like the rivals they were.

“Why are you here?” Toshiya started and observed the floating Demon precisely.

^Well well Toshiya… impressive. You will make a decent Angel of Death one day.^

^Stop talking Demon and tell me why you’re after all this dead souls!^ Toshiya interrupted.

Mako gave one of his insane high laughter. ^Tell me what are YOU doing with all these souls?^

^I return them home, into eternity which is their very birth right but you…^ He paused. ^What are you doing with them?!^

Mako laughed out loud again. ^And you think that I’ll simply tell you about it? Oh no, no, no, no, no, you have to earn the answer!^ He made funny movements with his head.

^I’ll keep you from collecting dead souls.^ Toshiya said with a sincere tone. Now that was a threat and Mako stopped laughing. ^You can try but you.will.not.succeed.^

The moment the last word was spoken, Mako started flying high up into the air, ready to snatch up the dead soul he came here for in the first place. Toshiya unfolded his majestic wings and he followed Mako high up into the air. Toshiya was close to become the lead but his senses came back into reality when he felt something hard shooting through his feather wings, leaving a hole and pain behind... a gust of dark magic. Too heavy for his new wings to bear. They became numb and Toshiya started falling. Before he closed his eyes, he heard Mako laughing mean and screaming after him.

^The hunt is on!^

And Toshiya’s view became black.

  
  
Meanwhile, call it intuition, a harmed Angel of Revenge opened his eyes in reflex and he sucked his breath in deeply, leaning up into a sitting position and holding his head. The bright light hurt his eyes and a cold hand followed to his forehead.

He knew that touch as he knew the smell of the room.

“Hizumi.” Was all Karyu could whisper before his face was covered with a tight hug.

“I was so worried about you.... you stupid Revenge!”

“I missed you too.”

“Shut up Karyu. I know exactly that you at LEAST were partially at fault for getting into that situation.”

Karyu remained silent for a moment which was rare. These days he started to think now and then which was something new for him too.

“Hizumi it’s my job. And besides, your job almost cost you your life too.”

“That was different then. I try to avoid danger and you are running right into it.”

“At least I can say that _things_ have been taken care of.”

Hizumi looked back with his penetrating white eyes at Karyu. “What have you done? What happened in hell anyway?”

“I can’t tell you all about it.”

“Why not?”

“Because it's business and I won’t put you in danger unnecessarily. And no discussion.”

Hizumi had an inkling. “You killed Zero.”

“What if I did?”

That was Karyu's way to say yes. Hizumi was shocked but more for Karyu's stead. Now everything slowly started to make sense and why Karyu was abducted in the first place. Hizumi moved out of Karyu’s arms and sat down onto his bed.

“He has threatened an Angel on earth and I did my job.”

“ And what happened then?”

Karyu stayed silent for a moment. “Hizumi I really can’t tell you all about it. It’s for your own safety.”

“WHAT happened?”

Karyu breathed out loud. “They took me hostage and I talked to some very important Demons down there-” Like remembering something, Karyu stood up. Still a little shaky but able to stand. “I have to talk to Kazu and Kamijo, now.”

“Now?”

“There is no time.” Karyu said while he made his way to the door. Before he opened it and was able to be out of Hizumi's life again, he stopped when arms encircled him from behind. He paused.

“I will respect your decision. But promise me one thing….” Hizumi nuzzled against his shoulder blades.

“One thing.”

“Come back to me. Always.”

Karyu took both of Hizumi's hands and kissed them. “Promise.”

And he left.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Metatron-sama had called in for a special meeting right after Kai was done helping Karyu. The discussions already lasted for hours and there was no end near.

“Well I guess we are even now…” Kazu said.

“That is no excuse to take an Angel hostage!” Kazuki was still furious, also because the Demon's behaved rather cocky and rude.

Kazu explained again. “Karyu killed Zero, I know that he did that out of defense but he hit a sore spot with that. In return they took him hostage.”

“But why?” Kazuki said. “They should have come straight to us! These kind of actions are quite immature, even for hell.”

“They surely wanted to hear about heavenly secrets, concerning the prophecy.” Kazu reasoned.

“And what if they did?” Aiji asked.

“Now you are underestimating the Angels of Revenge. We would rather die than betraying our kind.”

Knowing Karyu, Kami who sat in the back coughed out loud. Mana listened interested while hide played with his hair. Kyo meanwhile tried not to be affected too much about Kami and Kai being in the same room and stealing glances of each other now and then. He still wasn’t really over with Kai being with Kami. For that he has been in love with Kai for too long. Too long he denied it to himself, too long he played the cool and stayed single. Until it was too late to claim Kai for himself.

Yes, it still hurt, very much.

A knock on the door and Kamijo looked up surprised when Ruki entered. ‘Kindel’-Angel Ruki was responsible for every course of human life and rebirth. He was a loner and always working on its own. He needed no one and barely talked to someone, except of Kamijo sometimes who stood up now surprised.

“Ruki?”

“Kamijo, my dear fellow Angels.... I’ve made a very important observation about the souls entering and reentering heaven and about the structure of rebirth.”

“Then tell us.” Kamijo offered politely.

“The structure of rebirth very slowly started to change. It was slow at first so I didn’t notice but with certainty I can say that more souls are leaving heaven than entering it again, plain: We’re running out of souls.”

Kamijo looked strange at him and also the Archangels looked at him in disbelieve. What was this supposed to mean?

“Do you mean.... They are stealing souls from us?!” Kamijo asked in disbelieve. “The law between heaven and hell says that there must be a balance of souls in heaven and hell… it’s the Angel of Death’s and the Demon of Death’s task to handle that!”

Kazuki thought ahead. “Then what’s wrong with the Soul collectors?”

A moment later, the infamous Angel of the day, Karyu, entered the meeting hall and Kazu gestured him to take a seat next to him.

“Apart from the status of loosing souls, let's hear what Karyu has to say.” Kamijo turned his attention to Karyu.

“Well, where to start…”

“Zero?” Kamijo said.

“Right. The Demon attacked without reason protégé Toshiya on earth… I just happened to be there because it is my responsible area. A Demon attacking a young Guardian Angel is an absolute no go so I interfered. I threatened the Demon to leave the Angel alone and since he decided to torture my nerve system, I first pierced him with my spear and then I decapitated him.” Karyu swallowed the _game over_ which he wanted to add so desperately.

But it was Kami who blurred out. “That’s nice.” And the Seraphim glared not very amused back at him, except for one who tried to hold his smile.

“What happened next?” Kamijo asked. Ruki whom was sitting next to Kamijo listened very interested too.

“After I returned to the location the same day, two mighty Demons ambushed me and took me hostage. They said nothing important only that it’ll be an honor to finish off the Angel who killed Demon Zero….”

“This sounds like an order from someone.” Kazu said.

“I don’t know who ordered it. What happened next was that they threw me into a dark cell down in hell after they put me unconscious with dark magic. Now and then I woke up and I observed a conversation between Demons which bought me free.”

“How so?” Ruki asked.

“What I can tell is,” Karyu said with a sincere voice, “that the whole system down there is threatened to fall.”

Kamijo looked in shock back at Karyu and so did the others.

“They are collecting souls to bring up an army, some Demons in the Dungeon said. That was all the information I got and I told Kirito. He counted one and one together and since he never knew about hell collecting too many souls, Kirito concluded that SOMEONE was building an army to fight a war but maybe not necessarily against heaven...”

And the Angels understood what Karyu was trying to say.

“They are using the prophecy for a putsch inside their own ranks.” Kazuki said.

“And who was always interested in getting more power?” Ruki remembered and Kamijo said it out loud.

“Lucifer. That damn Sugizo! I should have ended his existence when I still had the chance to!” Kamijo hit with his fist onto the table. Because a war in hell meant trouble in heaven too.

It was dead silent inside the room.

Ruki summoned it up. “A group of Demons is plotting with Sugizo against the Lord of Darkness’ son, Kirito, to bring him to fall. Soul collector Mako collects as many souls as possible to bring Lucifer onto the throne of Atsushi’s son.”

“That’s so inconvenient, especially now with the prophecy and a possible teleporter, the 'cross' to be reborn. Timing couldn’t have been worse.”Kami realized.

“In fact it's very clever... Sugizo has always been very clever when it was for his advantage.” Ruki remembered. “Which Demons are involved into Sugizo’s plan? Do you know?”

Karyu started. “It must have been Zero, then Yu~ki and Közi because they kidnapped me and Kirito didn't order them to...”

“Then the form changer Miyavi, as he took Karyu's form.” Kazu added and Karyu looked at him baffled because he didn't know.

“And did he look exactly like me?” Karyu wanted to know.

“Sure but I should have known from the start that it wasn't you because he was too silent.”

Kami and hide laughed out loud but silenced with Kamijo's stare.

“I would also guess that Gackt and Yuana play a certain part because the appeared when I met you as the form changer.” Kazu added.

“Don't forget about Tsukasa.” Kamijo said. “He is with Sugizo all the time and was Zero's partner in crime.”

“Yeah Tsukasa, wonder what he's doing these days.” Karyu wondered.

“What a revelation.” Kamijo started again. “Sooner or later I have to talk to the Dark Lord, Atsushi about it. Although he surely already knows because Kirito must have told him.”

Whispers filled the room. The Archangels were whispering to each other except of Mana who communicated with them in thoughts. The Seraphim Kai, Kazuki and Aiji communicated in thoughts as well.

Ruki spoke out loud. “Now it’s only a question of time when things will be set in motion.” He gathered his books and papers.

Kamijo looked at Ruki. “What are you implying?”

“I think that hell will be occupied the following days to prevent their own putsch… a good chance for us to investigate in the prophecy and maybe even find the ‘cross’ before them.”

“We have to. God knows what they would do with a teleporting being who’s able to travel all spheres freely.” Kamijo added.

Kami spoke up in the name of the Archangels. “Metatron-sama what can we do?”

“Firstly we will continue with research here in heaven, especially in the Akasha-chronicles. But be prepared to maybe go down to earth as soon as we need you to. The Seraphim will maybe join you now and then.”

They nodded.

“The Angels of Revenge will have to leave later that day. Be prepared to report any changes to us immediately.”

Kazu and Karyu nodded.

“Who’s soul collector in this specific area right now?” Kamijo wanted to know.

“It’s my son.” Karyu answered. The Angels looked back at him in utter shock as they didn’t know about it while Kamijo rolled his eyes, wondering what Karma could produce.

“… Hakuei’s protégé Toshiya.” Ruki said. As Kindel-Angel he knew all Angels by name.

“… and Shinya’s son.” Karyu added just for the accord. It was silent before the Angels put the pieces together.

“Karyu?!” Kami burst out at first and almost fell off his chair while Kai stared at him in total surprise. That was too much information on one day, for all of them.

“Any problems with that?” Karyu asked nonchalantly.

Kami cleared his throat. “No… of course not.”

“Kamijo-sama I insist of looking after the soul collector myself.” Karyu demanded. Kamijo looked back at him in doubt.

“I don’t know if that's such a good idea. The both of you are personally too deep involved.”

“Kamijo-sama,” Kazu finally spoke up, “I have no doubts that my substitute is able to handle all that professionally. I totally entrust this task to him.”

Kamijo trusted Kazu. “Very well. You know a lot about the ongoing already so that could be advantageous. Okay Karyu, you return to your area now.”

“I will.”

“All the Angel’s of Revenge will return to earth immediately.” Kamijo ordered.

Kazu and Karyu stood up and left the room with a last bow.

“And the Archangels are going back to search for possible clues in the Akasha library.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Slowly Toshiya regained consciousness again but his gaze was still unclear and his head and back hurt. Especially his back because of the dark magic Mako attacked his wings with earlier. He wanted to lift himself up but was still unable to move. The world around him was spinning and his senses still felt numbed. Slowly he heard a familiar voice next to him, calling his name. With all his concentration Toshiya made out a delicate figure leaning over him.

“Toshiya? Toshiya?! Are you all right?!”

A warm touch on his chest and over his forehead. It was Taro and the shadow over them came from Taro's new wings which told him that they were both invisible.

Toshiya blinked with his eyes a few times before he croaked. “Where am I?”

“We’re in the middle of the city park.”

“What happened Taro?” Toshiya lifted himself slowly up.

“I was here in the park with Tadashi for drawing lesson when I saw you falling down from heaven. I died a thousand deaths, I can tell you.”

Toshiya looked back at Ryutaro in utter surprise. “You got your wings! When?”

Ryutaro smiled and looked down shyly. Only by force he told the story of rescuing a little kitten. Toshiya couldn't believe it.

“And I almost died receiving mine during a Demon chase, thank you, Karma.”

Taro patted Toshiya on his back. “Can you stand?”

The look on Toshiya's face showed that he was absolutely unable to do so. Pain shot through his wings' nerve system. “I have to heel myself first.” Energy surrounded him, covering his whole body and wings and the pain slowly died down. Taro was amazed witnessing Toshiya's healing ability for the first time.

“Wow, you’re looking good again.”

Toshiya stood up and Taro did so too, looking in the distance to the place where Tadashi was still seated and drawing. “Well, where were you headed?” Taro wanted to know.

“In fact I wanted to visit you before Mako attacked me.”

“And now he’s gone?”

Toshiya nodded. “I better get back and try to contact someone in heaven. That interference has to be reported.”

“So you're not gonna join us?” Taro asked and Toshiya wondered when 'me' became an 'us'.

“I will escort you back to your lesson. Let's meet another time and have a talk in private then.”

“Sure.” Taro couldn't help himself but wonder that there was something else too.

Dreamily and not really there, Tadashi was all occupied drawing when he heard his name chirped in the distance from his best friend. He looked up with his thick glasses on and waved over to them. Toshiya was no stranger to him and they exchanged their greetings when another familiar face smiled back at him. Sakito, taking lessons with Taro and Tadashi. Politely, Toshiya and Taro stepped over to him too but when Toshiya got a swift glance into Sakito's sketchbook, he was taken aback. In thoughts he communicated with Taro and he immediately recognized the drawing too.

The picture showed a half nude, androgynous young man with small wings on his back and silky strands of black hair touching his shoulders. His gaze was empty and sad. That was clearly Ni~ya although Sakito has never seen him before in person.

So that was what people call inspiration.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The cold autumn air played with his shoulder length hair. Tall as he was and with his fighting spear, Karyu stood on the rooftop of one of the tallest buildings of Tokyo and looked into the night. With his angelic gaze he was able to see through the darkness, to see the visible and invisible forces. Angels and Demons woven through all society, existing parallel to humans. It was their task to keep an eye on 'things', reporting suspicious beings and actions.

But these days the energy was dense. Every immortal being felt that something was building up but no one was able to name or imagine what it could possibly be. The highest ranks talked about the prophecy but how it might turn out to be, no one knew.

All Karyu knew was that he had to protect what was important to him. Friends, family.... he always saw himself as a loner who never needed someone or something in his life but under the current circumstances he could name a few which grew quite close to his heart.

The farewell earlier this day was rather.... heavy. It was Karyu's job to travel spheres if his job required it but he would have never thought that a pair of hurt eyes could hunt him so deeply.

The flashback from earlier played in front of his inner eye.

“ _Karyu…”_ Hizumi opened the door and saw the look on Karyu’s face. “ _What’s wrong?”_

Karyu shook with his head, the longer hair covering one side of his face. “ _I’m sorry Hizumi, I really wish I could stay longer but…”_

Hizumi’s shoulders slumped down. The disappointment was all over his face. “Y _ou have to leave again?”_

Karyu only looked back at him.

“ _Are you coming in?”_ Hizumi stepped aside.

“ _I won’t. I should be gone by now.”_ His answer sounded more harsh than intended. Why was he always so stiff when it came to feelings?

Karyu was sadly astounded which emotions eyes could carry. Hurt was added to the disappointment and Hizumi's aura changed to feeling cold. Karyu sensed something else ' _.... he missed me...'_ But as an Angel of Revenge Karyu was taught from an early age on to feel not attached to anything or anybody as every mission could mean their end. The rest of his good heart was beaten out of him during training either on earth and even in heaven.... but no one outside the Revenge-circles knew about that. It was their code, their secret. But Hizumi should never hear of this. It was his own stigma. His medal of honor so to speak.

“ _Then go.”_ Hizumi collected what sense was left inside of him, sounding reasonable.

“ _Good bye then.”_ Karyu turned around and walked away when he heard a little sob from behind and the door closing slowly.

Karyu cursed at himself and turned around quickly, pushing the door open with one hand and pulling Hizumi onto his chest with the other. He nuzzled into Hizumi's hair and the smaller Angel started shaking in his arms, leaning with his face into Karyu's neck.

“ _Never say good bye, never!”_ Hizumi hit with his fist against Karyu’s chest but the taller Angel shut him up by kissing him deeply, pulling Hizumi into him by holding onto his neck, his hair. It was a tear-streamed kiss and Karyu slowly let go.

“ _I have to…”_

Hizumi nodded and Karyu stepped back. “ _I'm fighting for you, for us. For all of our future.”_

“ _I know.”_

“ _I will be back, wait here for me ok?”_

A shy smile from Hizumi which was answered by Karyu saying: “ _You’re only making it harder for me.”_ Then he turned around and walked away.

“ _I hope so!”_ Hizumi yelled after him. Karyu smirked at himself and waved up into the air. He didn’t turn around a second time. He feared to see that demanding face standing there and waiting for him.

  
End of flashback.

A cold breeze brought him back to the present and he recalled his mission to forget about his feelings: Finding the soul collector from hell, talking to Toshiya eventually and finding out what hell was planning to do on earth.

Sounded like hell of a lot to do.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya returned the same evening with Taro to his home to have some quality time with his friend. But Taro was whining the whole way because Tadashi couldn't join them. The reason was equally funny because the blonde art student had to feed his south sea fishes. Taro, of course, totally understood and Toshiya was privily happy to have his friend to himself because he desperately needed his advice about his complicated situation with his protege. Not that he disliked Tadashi, on the contrary, he was the most calm and yet surprisingly strange artistic human he had ever encountered.... no wonder that it was hard to find these two separated.

And Toshiya secretly smiled at himself about the fact that these two grew so close together in such a short amount of time... OF COURSE he would interview Taro about that development later too.

They entered the big skyscraper and waited for the elevator to come. Taro couldn't help himself but to wonder about the prosperous place as he was living at the dormitory in a single bedroom only. Sheepishly, Toshiya admitted that the place was owned by his protege and Taro gawked in surprise.

They got off at Toshiya's and Sakito's floor and just before Toshiya opened his apartment door, he stopped when they both sensed a familiar, invisible present at the end of the corridor. Taro turned and became invisible and so did Toshiya. It was easier to have a conversation that way.

^Hey Ni~ya!^ Ryutaro greeted friendly. Fact was that Ni~ya didn't show himself earlier in the park because Toshiya came along. It was strange because now he leaned against the wall as if.... he was waiting.

Ni~ya pushed himself off the wall and greeted Taro and Taro only. Just because everybody liked Taro.

^Hey Ryutaro, you here?^

^Yes, visiting Toshiya… pleasure to see you again.^

Ni~ya nodded politely before his dead cold eyes turned up at Toshiya. If gazes could kill but Toshiya didn't surrender to it, he started a conversation instead.

^Today we’ve seen Sakito’s drawing.^

Ni~ya looked as if a delicate topic has been displayed. They both realized it immediately and Taro added. ^It’s really nice, inspired work Ni~ya.^

^I just wondered... did you inspire him on purpose?^ Toshiya asked because the resemblance with Ni~ya was without any doubt but it was Taro who realized how provoking the question must have seemed coming from Toshiya. ^And you still don’t wanna show yourself to him? Why?^

Taro bit his lip because the conversation was about to slip.

^That’s entirely my business and nothing of your goddamn concern! Stop asking me that question! Look at yourself! You’re avoiding your protégé all the time… maybe it would have been better for you to stay invisible too!^

Toshiya took a step towards Ni~ya and Taro automatically landed behind the arguing Angels.

^I happened to become visible automatically! Better than hiding all the time and moping around for nothing!^

Taro looked helplessly from one argument chasing the other. This conversation was long overdue.

^Better being on my own than burdening all Angels around me with my business!^

^What do you mean by that?!^ Toshiya put his hands onto his hips. ^You’re just jealous because I get along better with my Guardian Angel!^ Toshiya meant Hakuei because it was no secret that Ni~ya didn't like his Guardian Angel Ruka in heaven.

^Haha! You're call this 'getting along'? You’re hanging on him like a limpet without realizing how heavy you can be!^

Ni~ya made a few good points here but no one would have admitted to that.

^Better than running from your responsible Guardian Angel and not getting along AT ALL!^

^Look who’s talking! I’m not taking advice from an Angel who is unable to look after his own protégé!^

Toshiya gasped in anger. ^At least I do my best to integrate into this world rather than running and hiding in it!^

Taro looked around but it was stupid as no one could see or hear them anyway. It was just an old reflex.

^You glued Hakuei to yourself like a spoiled brat in need of a toy without even considering his feelings!^

Toshiya opened his mouth to retard but nothing came out, he was shocked. He felt like crying all of a sudden. Did others see him and Hakuei that way? Toshiya collected himself and narrowed his eyes.

^Tell me: What is it that you hate so much about me being with Hakuei?^

^That’s none of your business!^

^Are you jealous?”

Now Ni~ya's eyes widened in shock. This must have hit a nerve. ^Jealous? Of YOU? Certainly not. It's just that I know about Hakuei's feelings-^ He paused but it was already out.

Toshiya looked in utter surprised. ^So? What do you know? Come on, tell me!^

^There’s nothing to tell. It was a long time ago…^ Ni~ya didn’t like the direction the conversation was taking. ^Just so that you know: I would have done anything for him! Anything! And you treat him like a dispensable toy… your attitude makes me sick!^

Toshiya was speechless, shocked and hurt about all the revelations. Could it be? That Ni~ya and Hakuei.... had a history? Impossible. He should have known, realized it.

^But he never wanted me… and I swear, Toshiya, if you’ll break this noble Angel’s heart, I’ll beat you up in every lifetime I can find you in! He’s better than all of us together!^

The two of them remained silent because everything seemed to be said. Taro took his chance and he took Toshiya by his elbow. Taro nodded at Ni~ya and he gestured Toshiya to come along. The tall Angel did as his friend gestured him too, still numb from the clear confession of Ni~ya's feelings towards him and especially Hakuei.

Paralyzed, Toshiya slumped down onto his bed, the shock and pain almost devouring him. Pity about himself being hurt and most ardently about maybe having hurt Hakuei with selfish behavior he wasn't aware of.

Toshiya was a mess, even more than this morning and his shoulders started to shake.

“Totchi.” Taro cared over the taller Angel’s back. “Don’t be upset about Ni~ya’s words. We know that he’s very rude.”

“No Taro, he’s right… he was so right with every word he said.” He covered his face with one pillow.

“You are a good Angel Totchi and you deserve to be loved…”

“No, I’m the worst. I hurt all of them. Hakuei, Kaoru…. It’s useless, I'm so useless.”

Taro tried to comfort him. “You know we all behave human sometimes and nobody’s perfect. We are no Gods but we can get stronger. You became stronger, right?”

Toshiya nodded slightly.

“And Hakuei is very proud of that…”

A sigh. “Well I guess….”

“I can tell.”

“I miss him so much…”

Taro breathed out. “I know what you mean….”

Toshiya remembered that Ryutaro had an even worse time saying good bye to Aoi when they left for earth.

“I’m sorry Taro for being selfish again… you surely miss Aoi very much.”

Taro remained silent for a moment. “I thought I would die when we got separated in heaven.”

Toshiya moved up from his pillow and he looked at Taro.

“Yes, it’s kind of a trauma from our last life on earth.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Toshiya was also bothered about an experience Ni~ya must have had with Hakuei at some point, or at least he mentioned something during their argument.

“But yet I live.” Taro added. “You know, sometimes we grow without even realizing it.”

Toshiya recalled that Taro's soul was in fact older than his. Which meant he was reincarnated more often on earth than he was. Seeing Taro in his Angel form made him look so young but as always appearance could deceive.

But at this point he didn't dare to ask how things were between him and Tadashi. Maybe it was still too early to ask that kind of question too.

“Taro, I wondered... do you know about the lifetime where Hakuei and Ni~ya possibly met?”

Taro shook his head. “Sorry, never heard of it nor knowing an Angel who lived in their lifetime.”

An ugly feeling welled up inside of Toshiya, something he has never felt before and couldn't name. All he knew was that the mere thought of them together made him almost sick.

“You better talk to Hakuei about it.”

“Yes.” Or Karyu, Toshiya thought. His father knew a lot when it came to past things. Which made him remember that he had to talk to Karyu.

“Oh no!” Toshiya said out loud. “I totally forgot to talk to Karyu about the incident today with Mako! But I guess he will be very busy. Since he killed Demon Zero the other day, things started to become strange....”

Taro popped up from Toshiya's bed and remained standing motionless in front of him. In utter surprise, Toshiya followed his friend’s movement. “Are you okay?”

“Zero? The mind reader from hell?” All Ryutaro was able to do was shaking his head. He tried to collect himself but he had to cover his mouth.

“OhmyGod, Taro! What's wrong?”

He shook his head. “N-no, nothing. It's just… Old memories.” A pause followed. “Is it certain that he is dead?”

“Yes, I’ve been there myself. Zero first attacked me and then Karyu which he didn't survive. He dissolved into ash.”

Taro breathed out loud and sat back onto the bed. “It’s like…. Like something old has been brought to an end. I wonder if Aoi knows about it.”

“Former life experience?”

Taro nodded. “Oh yes… and believe me I don’t mourn his death although it's not very angelic for me to say.”

“Do you want to tell me?”

Taro thought a moment about it. “Well, this is a long story...”

“And we will take the time which is needed.”

Taro breathed in deeply and pulled his feet up Toshiya's bed. He took a pillow and looked at Toshiya. Then he began to tell his and Aoi's story.

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 24

 

_The last life on earth_

**The Aoi and Ryuutaro Chapter**

 

North Africa, 1805

 

 

I was a young boy... too young for an experience like that if you ask me. But even if I could turn back time, I still wouldn’t. When I’m closing my eyes now, I can still feel the hot sand underneath my feet, the sun burning merciless onto my black hair, my brown skin. And when I opened my eyes then, I looked over land which I had never left once in my entire life… dunes over dunes, sand everywhere, the hot wind played with my half long hair and the dark blue tunic on my body . In this life I was born a boy right in the middle of the Sahara in a City called Agadez. I was born there because my father stopped by in this city and then left again for months, even years.

He was a Tuareg. A man living in the desert, with the desert.

They traveled in groups, riding on their camels. Refugees in their own land. Nobody wanted to have business with them so they lived with the desert where no one else would dare to set foot in… except for bandits. They were known to be cruel and merciless. Stealing for their own selfish selfsinstead of working for it like the rest of us poor people.  
My mother always had a hard life. But she never complained, not even once… she wanted to keep me from feeling upset and guilty, tried to make life possible for her only son, for me. The two of us lived alone in this old shabby little hut. Her parents died when I was still a little child and I helped and worked with her all my 20 years long. We sold the little vegetable we had on the market plus the baskets which my mother made with her old worked up hands.  
I often wondered if she missed my father. I’m sure she did but she never said a word about him. He was a Tuareg, that was all I knew. It was unusual for women to have no man so we were outsiders from the very beginning of this story. But this kept us together. I loved and respected her very much and I knew she did too. I often wondered whether I reminded her of my father. Maybe my eyes or the voice… but she never mentioned it so I didn’t ask either. We struggled to survive every day and yet we were happy in this little old hut. We were free.  
Very often I sat on this little dune behind our little house, when the sun already set and we were done with the day's work. I came to this place to look into the distance, at the Sahara which seemed endless and dangerous to me. And yet it harbored a strange fascination… I wondered how the world looked like behind all this sand, what kind of people, languages can be found behind my beloved land.

The Tuareg surely knew. All the people from the village couldn't satisfy my curiosity... and I knew that the Tuareg were in town these days, people were talking about it. Yet no one dared to get into contact with them because they were strangers to us although we all lived in the same land. A sad fact of course but essential for survival. They were dangerous. Soon I walked back and went to bed because I was tired from working on the fields. I dusted my clothes off from sand, undressed and blew out the little oil lamp in my room. Mother went to bed before me and soon I was deeply asleep too.

I will never forget this night because what was about to come no one could have ever imagined.

I woke up startled from loud noises I couldn’t allocate. I jumped off the bed and looked out the window. The whole houses around us were set on fire and enlightened the dark night. People were running around screaming, men tried to fight the intruders off, men on black and brown horses but they stroke down everyone who dared to cross their path with their long silver swords. I stood there on my window and looked at the scenario in utter shock, I couldn't move. Then I heard my mother screaming when our wooden door was kicked in and an animal of a man stormed in our house. Bandits.

“Mother, run--!” I couldn’t finish shouting when I was hit hard against the head and fell to the ground. In daze I heard other men entering but I couldn’t see them. My view got blurry and I only felt how someone picked me up and dragged me and my mother outside. They threw us into the sand. I was hardly dressed, only wearing a light cotton trouser and I heard men making fun of my fragile chest and arms…. In all lifetimes, I was never much of a strong and tall man. But now for the first time in my life I cursed myself for not being strong enough to protect my mother, my home. She cried when the man shouted out loud.

“There’s nothing to take here! Poor peasants!” He kicked sand at us. “Burn it!!

“NO!” I shouted out loud but was silenced by another stroke in the face which sent me down again.

“Let’s take the woman with us! Kill the boy!” Shouted one of them.

I balled my hands into fists, trying to stand up from the ground but I was still too dizzy to stand. I was so weak, God why? My mother started to cry. Her voice mixed up with the other screaming people, the noise of wood burning and breaking down, the disgusting laughter of these men.

“No, please! I beg you, please! Spare my son! ” My mother begged. One of the men grabbed her. That was when I took all my courage and managed to stand on my unsteady feet.

“Leave her! Leave her alone and take me instead!”

The men broke into laughter until the strongest of them said: “Come on guys, we don’t have time. Let’s go!” The others got onto their horses but in desperation, I walked up to the guy who held my mother tightly in his grasp. “Don’t take her!”

In no time the man threw my mother back into the sand and I felt a sharp sword against my throat. “You have no idea whom you’re talking to!!!” I held my breath but yet he didn’t slice my throat. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a man in the distance, sitting majestically on a black horse. It is strange to imagine how someone could sit majestically on a horse but that person did. A certain aura of awe extended from him, even in the darkness where we were only able to see his features. Like the men's faces, his was covered with a turban too.

“Get on your horse, we're leaving!” He commanded in an emotionless tone.

The guy kicked me back into the sand. I looked over to my mother who had shock written all over her face. No one dared to say a word and just before the strange man was about to disappear in the shadows again, he turned around a last time and said: “And don’t forget the boy. He offered himself in exchange… we are men of honor.” And he rode into the dark night, others came from all directions and followed him. The ugly man grinned and grabbed me. “No, Mum! Please, no!” I stretched out my arms but I was knocked unconscious .

That was the last time I saw my mother.

He must have thrown me over his saddle because when I woke up the next morning my stomach hurt all over. My lips and face were dry from the sand and dust, I could feel the sun burning on my stomach. I opened my eyes, blurry from the thirst and exhaustion. I heard laughs in a not far away distance. They were in immediate reach. Slowly I made out tents in the middle of the desert, their camels bound to poles. The men were sitting underneath a sun protecting tent all in a circle talking…. And all I was thinking about was water. Delirious I tried to stand up but with the first move I made I fell back into the sand. Like an animal's, they bound my foot to a pole as well. I heard someone snickering behind me so I turned around startled.

“Little girl!” The ugly guy said. It was the one from the night before. “What are you looking for?!” He screamed unnecessarily loud at me. I couldn’t help myself but to shiver like a lamb. Amazingly enough I stuttered. “W-water…” The guy laughed out loud, making fun of me. I can’t possibly recall his words, all I know is that my view got blurry and I saw the man walking back to the others. They seemed to get their things together to continue the journey… But I felt so weak. I was sure that I wouldn’t make it. A journey through the Sahara was something for strong and tough men, not for a tender twenty-year-old boy like me.  
Out of nowhere I felt someone lifting up my upper body and steadying my head on strong legs. A hand wiped off the dust from my lips and forehead, an earthen bowl was put on my mouth, water spilled down my cheeks. “Drink.”  
I swallowed clumsily and coughed from my lying position. The man pulled away the bowl. “Slowly, there’s enough to get you through.” It was an unknown and uncommonly soft voice. I opened my eyes slowly and glimpsed up into beautiful dark eyes eyes which found mine too but the rest of his head was covered with a black turban which showed immediately that this person was of a higher status. Only dirty thieves showed their mouths in public which was considered as extremely rude back then in our culture. The moment felt like minutes but he broke the contact by making me drink a second time and then leaving abruptly when someone called for him.

“Amenokal!” And my assumption was right. It literally meant ‘King’ so clearly he was their leader. “We’re ready to leave!”

The thieves packed their belongings onto their camels. “What we gonna do about him?” I overheard the man talking to their leader.

“I will take him onto my camel.”

The ugly guy hesitated but nodded in agreement before he jumped onto his own camel. What I didn't know then was that they had exchanged their horses for camels on a trading farm while I was unconscious because only camels were able to survive long journeys through the desert. I heard someone coming near me. I had my eyes closed all the time to pretend to be asleep, partially because I still felt very weak. I was more than surprised when I saw the Leader himself releasing me from the rope. He gestured me to follow him and what choice did I have? There was no running away from them because alone I would die. I was dependent from them.

“Here.” He tossed me a tunic to get properly dressed because I still only wore my night clothing. While I did that he climbed up his camel and stretched out his arm to me. I took it after I was done and he pulled me up right in front of his saddle while he was seated right behind me. Some of the men gave him strange looks, I could feel their hated glares on me and I definitely felt most uncomfortable too. All the attention didn't raise any false hopes in me. These men were bandits and they killed dozens of people and burned their homes down.

“We are going to Kadesh. You better behave if you don't want to be left behind in the desert.”

My eyes widened in realization. Kadesh. An important trading town back then in Syria and also known for their slave markets. A dark city, far away from home and even out of the country. It would take us weeks to get there.... That moment I realized for the first time that I would never see my hometown again, or my mother or any of my friends. All the former excitement for travel and distance drowned under this unfortunate circumstances. I was overwhelmed by fear and homesickness.  
The man behind me grabbed for his reins and set the camel in motion. In the corner of my eyes I saw strands of long black hair escaping his turban but it didn't really matter. We rode almost the entire day through the Sahara and no one said a single word. We stopped now and then for short breaks to drink and occasionally eat something. Mostly we ate some kind of pulp without taste but I didn't dare to complain. I was glad I got something.

In the evening we stopped to build up tents for the night. The leader jumped down the camel and when I tried to do the same, weak as I was, I clumsily slumped down but was steadied before my body made contact with the ground. “Wait here.”

He put me onto my feet and bound his camel to a pole. Most of the time I tried hiding behind the large animal because I wanted to be invisible to these men. I was scared and horrified of them. So naturally I jumped when I suddenly felt something landing on my lap. He tossed me a drinking bottle and left to help the others with the tent. I luckily managed to hide well enough behind the camel as I would have been to weak to help anyway. Fatigue got the best of me and I fell asleep right next to the camel. Two arguing men woke me in the middle of the night and I observed their shadows flickering with flames of the fire where they were sitting around.

“He is my responsibility and I've got every right to sell him!”

I widened my eyes in shock. Clearly this conversation was about me and my presumptions just got confirmed. Next to the shock and anger another feeling came up. A feeling I least expected: Hurt. Of course I knew that these were filthy bandits but somehow I felt hurt, betrayed by their Leader who treated me human all this travel over. Now I know why: Out of profit.

“Why you?! I was the one who found him with his lousy mother! So he is mine!!”

Without anyone even noticing it, the Leader pulled out his long sword underneath his tunic and seized the ugly man with the sword under his throat. He spoke deadly slow and clearly: “If you want to continue traveling with us you better behave or I will leave you here dead to the sand and no one will know about it.”

I was the only one who witnessed it because the others were all asleep underneath the tents and they didn't see my open eyes. A nod saved the situation and the Leader let go off the guy who stomped furiously into his own tent. He although remained sitting in front of the fire, observing the flames and thinking to himself. And I was still staring. The whole situation had something beautifully private and intimate, a glare a person makes when feeling unobserved. After a while he stood up, thinking whether to enter the tent as well but he turned and came over to his camel where I was lying.

“You can sleep now, the show is over.”

I widened my eyes in shock and finally got into a sitting position. How could he possibly know? His eyes and senses must be very sharp and I memorized this observation.

“So you are selling me as a slave...” I was merely stating the fact.

“What were you thinking? Other than selling there is no use for a weak boy like you.”

Something inside of me broke. And it hurt even more than before. I knew about my physical condition and to be honest I felt like fighting with staying alive every single, tiring day. I stood up to him and looked him into his eyes which was very rude and I realized that he was one head taller than me. His mouth was still covered at this point.

“I could run away while you are still sleeping and guess what? I'm not afraid of dying in the desert! Better dying now then being a slave all my life!”

The Leader kept his posture and his dark eyes seized me. It was as if he was looking straight through me. He grabbed my chin and held me in place from fidgeting.

“Where are you getting this strength from?”

His question puzzled me and he let go off me when I didn't respond. He let go off me and turned around. “Go to sleep.”

“I want answers! Who are you guys and when-”

I fell backwards into the sand when he pulled the tiny sitting carpet from underneath my feet. He moved one knee onto my chest and covered my mouth with his hand.

“If you keep on yelling, my group of men will come out and do Allah knows what with you, little boy.”

His voice controlled but his chest moving from agitation, so he was close to loose his cool too. It must have been the need of air which made him pull away the cloth from his mouth and for the first time I saw his face. And it was not bad to look at. Far different from all the other scruffy guys. “You have no idea to what great lengths I went to keep you alive and unharmed. Be grateful or you will regret it in the end.”

Slowly I nodded while my eyes searched his face. He had that look which made you feel familiar about someone, as if you knew that person from somewhere but I have never seen him before. At this point I was even too scared to ask for his name. He moved down from over me and took his carpet with him while I was lying near the sleeping camel.

“Sleep now, we will get up early.”

He positioned himself somewhere between me and the fire while I took the animal's warmth like before. I just realized later that he was keeping guard in sleeping outside. For what? I didn't know, maybe his men, the animals? With his back to me he undid his Turban for the night and for the first time I saw long strands of black hair falling down his back. When he turned aside to check on me, the fire was only partially illuminating his face, the shadows showing his sharp features. For the first time I realized that there was something majestic in the way he looked and moved. His glare made me turn away obviously still sulky and I went to sleep.

It was destiny who turned the tide.

I woke up by a sting on the side of my rip cage. Startled, I jumped up and dizziness settled in almost immediately. A black scorpion was crawling away in front of me and I slumped back to the floor, feeling a threatening numbness in my legs. I fell on my back and breathed out in loud gasps while I started to panic. No one was there! I wanted to scream but I couldn't. My chest and lungs started to ache and my heart was pounding quickly. Tears started rolling down my cheeks and all I thought was: _This is it. I will die here._

Just before I fainted completely I made out a shadowed face towering over me and I felt my head being picked up. I pointed at the sting on my chest and felt lips touching the spot and sucking out what was left of the poison. Then everything went black. I lost all feeling of time when I woke up many hours later. The incident felt like it happened a moment ago but I saw the stars in the dark night sky and felt a fire burning right next to me. For a very long time I didn't move and just rested with my eyes closed. Slowly I dared to feel for my hands and feed and they luckily moved. My chest was bandaged and I smelled some ointment coming from my chest. A voice not far away almost startled me.

“How are you feeling?”

I opened my eyes and looked to my right side. All the tents and camels around us were gone, only he was there with me. Another thing I realized was that he wore no Turban and his long hair hung wildly around his shoulders. At first I coughed before I managed to say: “Weak but okay I guess.”

A nod.

“What happened?”

“You almost died. We gave you some antidote.”

Slowly I moved into a sitting position and surprisingly he acted when I made motions to slip and fall back but I caught myself and turned around to sit in front of him. Ashamed from our last conversation and he catching me staring at him the night before, I looked down at the hands in my lap.

“Thank you, for saving me.” I didn't know what I was thanking him for really. For making me survive just that he had another chance to sell me? I did it anyway and he just nodded.

“Where are the others? What happened?” I asked

“They left.”

I was shocked. The two of us all alone in the desert? I was no expert in traveling but our chances for surviving shrank significantly.

“Why? Why did they do that?” It was stupid but somehow I felt guilty for him. The Leader abandoning his group because of.... me?

“Because we all would have died without water. They went ahead of us.”

“But how and when are we going to meet them again?” Wait... was I asking for meeting up with the other bandits? Fact was that I was scared of dying alone with this man and I realized that somewhere deep down inside of me I still had a will to life.

“That's my concern.”

“But what-”

“What's your name?”

I stopped asking and looked at him surprised, realizing that all this time over I only called him Leader. And he didn't call me at all.

“Ryutaro but Taro is shorter-”

“I'm Aoi.”

I was surprised by his sudden answer because it was a great honor for a peasant and newly made slave like me. I nodded in appreciation and couldn't help myself when I apologized to him.

“I'm feeling deeply ashamed for making you stay behind. It is my fault because I was bitten.... maybe it wasn't even worth it.”

He looked at me for a moment and chose his words wisely although he seemed no older than thirty to me. “I may look like a bandit to you but in my heart I'm still human. I'm not letting anyone die in my group.” It was beautiful and showed me an unknown facet of him. I bent down again in acknowledgment.

“When are we leaving?” I asked.

“Tomorrow morning.”

“When will we arrive in Kadesh?”

Now he hesitated. I began to realize the smallest things about him now that we spent some time together and that he wasn't one to talk much was my first observation.

“I'm not completely sure, maybe one week.” He wasn't giving away any of his thoughts and somehow I felt that there was more to all of this than he actually revealed. But I remained silent when he combed his long black hair to the other side of his shoulder and he stood up.

“We need to rest now. I will wake you up in the morning.” The conversation was over. We rode into the sunrise the next morning, my hands still cold from the night. I sat in front of Aoi on his camel and because I was still feeling weak and sleepy, I fell asleep on the camel now and then because of its movements. Every time I woke up embarrassed when I found myself leaning against Aoi's chest but he didn't say a single word. It was just before sundown when we came to an oasis which seemed alarmingly familiar to me.

“Haven’t we been here before?”

Obviously not only to me. His silence was answer enough. Aoi jumped down from the camel and walked over to the oasis to fill up his bottles. I jumped down as well and bound the animal onto a palm tree. Over the time we spent together I also gained more self confidence around him. I lost my fear of him and somehow it provoked an irresistible urge to ask him all the questions I kept bottled up for so long.

“Aoi? Aoi, what do we do now?”

No answer.  
  
“Aoi, I really get concerned about-”

He lost his cool. “I'm trying to think!”

“Just asking because slowly I'm starting to panic and-”

“Would you just shut it?!!” He shouted because I didn’t realize that I went to far.

“It’s okay, I will never ask again as I am only the slave here so-“

He jumped up from his leaning position and dropped the bottles. I was scared by his reaction but numb to move away. So he picked me up in his arms and tossed me into the pond of the oasis. My screaming stopped by the water I swallowed and furiously I stood up in the water which reached up to my hips. I hated water and being wet, not to mention the treatment which I most likely deserved but didn't want to admit.

“You're a barbarian!!” I shouted over to the dry shore. “Just because you’re too proud of talking to me!“

He undid his Turban and Tunic and again I bit my lip in hesitation. Just because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. Maybe I went too far again and my guess proved right when he entered the water as well, fury all over his face. I shrieked and turned around to cross the small pond to reach the other side but since running in water was impossible and he taller than me, he got me on my wrist.

“Let me go!”

“You have to learn how to BEHAVE! Just because I saved your life doesn’t mean you can talk disrespectful with me!!”

“Let me go!” I cried out again and struggled which lead me to kick him accidentally into his stomach. And he gasped and hold it in need for air. I made him only more furious.

He dragged me out of the water but the unexpected hit still weakened him enough to make us both stumble and fall into the sand of the shore.... he on top of me. And for the first time I saw his eyes not being brown but in a deep dark blue. It took my breath away, as did his bony yet strong features all the way down my skinny body, pressing into me. I can still feel the drops of water falling down onto my chest, my face, his lips all at once kissing me hungrily and his hands grabbing into my shoulders and pushing me into the sand hard. I had my eyes wide open in shock but closed them when I responded with a moan, a thousand unknown feelings rushing through my body, making me act automatically. I encircled his back and pulled him closer to me, breathing into his mouth, tasting his tongue.  
Almost brutally he pulled my head back on my hair and kissed his way down my throat which made me only moan more in utter bliss. I pulled up one leg as his excitement was pushing against my clothes and while he kissed and bite on my throat, one hand wandered down my leg... but he stopped when he was about to reach into my trousers. I looked back at him and he turned his gaze away from me. As quickly as we started making out, he moved down from me and into a standing position, turning his naked, well muscled back at me. He hold his forehead before he looked up into heaven and said out loud without looking at me.

“Excuse me for acting inappropriate.”

Of course I was hurt about him refusing me and inexperienced as I was searched for a fault in my behavior which was stupid as I was the slave here and he as a Leader excusing to me.... but what made me perplex again was his use of words. I noticed before that he had kind of a noble way to express himself. But I said nothing.

“Get ready. Soon we will leave.”

“Where are we going to?”

“Back.”

I widened my eyes in shock. This day was full of revelations. “Where back to?”

He said nothing and passed me, collecting his clothes and dropped bottles.

“But why? I don't understand... and what about your group?” I felt stupid about being concerned in his stead but couldn't help myself.

“They are too far gone. We will never catch up with them.”

At this point I didn't know that Aoi had exactly planned for this to happen. And later that day we were on our way through the hot and dusty Sahara back to...

“Marrakesh.”

“Why Marrakesh?” I asked, still trying to get used to his proximity from behind my back while we were riding on his camel. But realized too soon that I didn't mind at all, on the contrary. “My home.”

“Why did you leave in the first place?” My questions were naive and honest. He paused and breathed into my neck unintended, making me blush. “You don't know when to stop asking or how to behave at all.”

“True. I'm a peasant remember?” I smiled at myself.

“Personal matters.” He answered.

“Family matters.” I added and his silence was confirmation enough.

“There comes a time when a man knows what he has to do.”

“And that time is now? Why?” A long moment of silence before his answer hit me with surprise.

“Because every time I looked at your shivering body and into your hurt eyes, I saw that all I lived for, all I had done was wrong. Completely wrong.”

I had no words for this so I simply covered his hands which were holding the reins in front of me with mine and remained silent. For the first time.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

We rode about a week through the Sahara until one morning we saw rooftops on the horizon... Marrakesh. Aoi really made it out of the desert and although my future was uncertain I was glad too. After the incident at the oasis, no one of us addressed the topic ever again and I must admit that his proximity was awkward at first but became something I got comfortably used to. What Aoi thought about all this, I couldn't even guess as he was as silent as ever. Self-controlled, almost professional in everything he did. I became more and more interested in the man who was more than he ought to show. That I was certain of.

The colors and smells of the city were overwhelming, exotic and new. The streets were full with people selling and buying goods, animals, dirt, houses build up so close you could hardly walk through the alleys. It was breathtaking. For the first time I saw people from foreign lands in unknown clothing, strange languages and dialects, I was so busy observing that Aoi literally had to pull me through the streets. When we had passed the busy market, Aoi pulled me in front of him while he was holding onto his camel with one hand. “Listen very carefully now: You must not speak to anyone and answer no question. Pretend like you don't understand.” I looked back at him with great interest and he exhaled playfully annoyed. “Why do I get the impression that all my warnings are in vain? I know that you are a curious and open person but it won't do you any good in a corrupt city like this.”

“Don't be afraid. I will do as you said.”

Aoi's face showed utter surprise. “You will?”

A nod. “After all, I'm strange in this town and you are the only person I've left.” It sounded more sad than intended. He rested his hand on my shoulder.

“I will bring you to an old friend of mine while I'm going back home.”

I widened my eyes in surprise. “So I guess this is not about your group of bandits any more...”

“Right, this is about family.” Aoi pulled back and we continued our way through the city. We entered many alleyways and went deeper into town. At this point I was positive that alone I would never find a way out of it again. Now and then I saw people lowering their heads and greeting Aoi but I wasn't sure if I really saw it or just imagined it. We stopped in front of an old wooden and Aoi bound his camel onto the house. He knocked at the door but no one answered. He knocked again and we waited until a very low voice asked who’s there.

“Aoi.”

Several locks were opened until the door revealed a pale face with deep dark eyes. The grimace which formed showed recognition. He fully opened the door.

“He finally came home.” The man stepped aside and offered us to step in.

“Long time no see old friend.” Aoi greeted and gave a quick hug. The stranger's eyes were on me though and Aoi introduced me as a 'friend'. “And that's my old friend Zero.” I nodded politely and stammered out my name because I felt uneasy in this stranger's house. Plus he wasn't the most social person I knew. He observed everything with an unreadable glare while his long dark hair hung ghostly over his dark gray cloak. His movements were spare, almost deliberate, just like his words. And I thought it was impossible to find someone who talked even less than Aoi.

“Taro,” Aoi touched me on my shoulders after he ended his conversation with Zero and looked down at my face, “I'm returning home to settle a few things. Until then you will stay here. I will get you latest in two days. And remember what I told you about the city?”

I nodded but feeling uneasy I couldn't help myself but to reach up with my hand and grab for his who was still laying on my shoulder. I squeezed it and he squeezed back. I must have looked at him like a lost child and honestly, I felt like it in this big strange town and at this stranger's house. My eyes said what my voice couldn't. ' _Don't leave me alone_.' Because he was all I had left now. Aoi knew that and for the split of a second his eyes became soft when he touched my cheek for the breath of a moment before letting go and leaving the house with one last nod at Zero. When I opened my hand I found a leather bracelet in it.

“I will show you to the guest room and some books you are free to read.”

I thanked him thoroughly, pointing out that I couldn't read but was glad about the offer. He made gestures to follow him and I did so while he murmured at himself. “... so Aoi ibn Sharad returned home... after all this time....” I still had no clue what it all meant but I was sure that it must mean something for some people. What I guessed was that Aoi mustn't have been home for quite some time. And I was right in the middle of his story now. To make time go by faster, I managed to sleep most of the time as reading was no option either. Since my orientation was virtually not existing, I didn't dare to go into town alone. I never left the neighborhood even when I was taking a walk.

At the second day during midday, Zero invited me to join him smoking a water pipe. Although I've never smoked before I knew that it was extremely rude not to follow an invitation and after several attempts I consented to smoke that sweet stuff. After a few insecure puffs I had to admit that it tasted quite good and soon I felt my head getting heavy and sleepy. I felt my tongue getting heavy as well and my talking became slow... I had no control over myself and then I blacked out.

“That’s what happens from consuming too much opium, sweetheart. Have a nice dream.”

Zero clapped loud with his hands and the door of his house opened. Three dark figures entered the room. One guy covered Taro's head while the others picked him up. Zero smiled at himself in satisfaction and handed a letter to the third guy to get it delivered to Aoi. The three men left the house with the unconscious Taro and Zero muttered to himself:

“And that’s what happens for messing with the underworld of the Sahara, Aoi ibn Sharad.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Aoi arrived at a big manor outside of Marrakesh town in the countryside. Lying beautifully on green hills and surrounded by stone walls, he stopped in front of iron gates where two guards were standing with swords on their hips. They eyed Aoi suspiciously when he jumped down from his camel.

“Tell us your name stranger.” One of the guards said.

“I am Aoi ibn Sharad. Please tell Sharad ibn Faran that his son has returned.”

Their facial expressions were priceless. One of the guards nodded and walked back into the palace with no delay. After a short while he returned and accompanied Aoi into the manor. Everything was just as he remembered it. The carpets on the stone floor, the candle holders, fresh fruits on the table.... now his nervousness set in and he bit his lip. The last time he and his father saw each other, it was not on the best terms. Aoi was young and stupid, wanted to see the world, going on adventures.... ignoring his duty's as the only son of a rich family. But now he felt being ready. He saw enough and the time has come to face his father who was ruler of the kingdom of the north states of the Sahara.  
It seemed like a big responsibility six years ago and somehow it still was but now Aoi understood that he couldn't run from his responsibilities, his family, all his life. Maybe his mother understood him because she always forgave Aoi everything but his father must hate him. He dishonored his family and parents and for that it was still quite possible that he will be thrown out the manor forever.

A door to one of the living rooms opened and a slender but elegant Lady stepped forward, dressed in precious embroidered silk clothing. His mother, all gray now but still beautiful. She gasped and hurried forward, taking her son into her arms. After all this years and all the anxiety, she kissed him on his forehead and looked him into his face.

“You came home, my son. Thank you merciful God.” She couldn't stop hugging him.

“Mother...“ Was all he stammered and he encircled her back as well.

She took him at his arm and guided him inside the living room. And there was his father, sitting behind his old desk and his hands folded in front of his mouth, looking at his lost son after all these years. He became even older than his mother or so it seemed as his face carried a lot of wrinkles and sorrow. Aoi's mother left the room.

“Come closer.” The old man demanded.

Aoi stepped forward and the next thing he did was kneeling on the floor with his forehead on the carpet and his hands stretched out.

“I know I don't deserve to be forgiven for my childish behavior. But I want you to know that I regret my decisions deeply and I'm taking responsibility for all the shame I have brought over my family. Please let me know if there is any way I can repay for all the harm and I will do all I can. This I swear in front of God and if this lifetime is not enough to repay I will pray to work on it on my next life.” Aoi remained in his kneeling position, waiting for his father to answer and it took him a while. The old man stood up.

“You have dishonored our family in the most shameful way. You joined a group of bandits and plundered the poor. Now let me as a political Leader ask you: How can I forgive such behavior? Even if the culprit is my son?”

It hurt. Even more than Aoi had anticipated. Deep down Aoi knew that his father was right but hearing it out loud from him was even harder.

“But you are my only son and I am old with no heir. I will accept you back in the house but you will have to gain my trust in the good deeds you have to do.” Aoi still remained in his bowed position and he nodded silently to his fathers demands.

“First you will return to university to study economy, politics and languages. Agree now and here to do so or leave and never come back.”

Aoi nodded again and gave his agreement. Then his father gestured him to stand up and he did so. Aoi was about one and a half heads taller than him but still he had immense respect for his old man.

“I won't disappoint you father.”

His father's gaze eased. “Then welcome back son.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was late at night when the three men rode on horses back into the desert. One of them had Ryutaro tied onto the back of his saddle while the young man was suffering the aftereffects of the Opium. Nightmares and visions in delirium made him forget about time and place altogether. One of the men separated from the group at some point and rode into the countryside, straight to the mansion of the Northern Sahara's Landlord. In his hand he hold a stone where Zero's letter was bound to it. Close enough to the stone wall he threw it into a window and disappeared again as fast as he could.

Aoi and his father jumped up in utter shock when the glass to his living room broke. It didn't take long for the guards to storm in the room and checking the environment, realizing pretty fast that whoever threw the stone was long gone. As if sensing something, Aoi picked up the stone and undid the letter. His eyes scanned the page and he crumbled it in his hands after he was done, closing his eyes and holding his breath while he bit together his teeth. His father motioned the guards to leave them alone and he came closer to his son who handed him the letter without a word.

“Seems like I have to take responsibility earlier than expected.” His voice was low while his father read the letter.

“Whom is this letter referring to?”

“To the one who saved me and made me come back here.”

“Then you have to save him.”

“And I will.”

The letter said:

_Aoi ibn Sharad…_

_Guess who’s writing to you? Yes, your old friend Zero but I am not alone. I'm writing to you on behalf of all your neglected friends from the Sahara. They are all eager to see you again and since they can’t await your visit, we will see you tomorrow at noon or your beloved friend will die before the sun sets. The price? Two chests full of jewels plus the same amount in gold._

_So, see you tomorrow on the cliffs of the Northern Sahara dunes and…. Sleep well._

_Zero_

Aoi wanted to scream. Taro didn't deserve any of that. He has been through so much and again it was because of him. The treasure they wanted was insanely high for a person's life but he was Aoi's responsibility and something in his heart ached by the mere thought of loosing him forever. Again he gritted his teeth and with determination he left the living room to discuss a strategy with their personal guards. He forced himself to sleep that night, at least a few hours to regain some strength for the next day. Earlier than necessary he saddled his horse and prepared half of the guard to ride with him which were about twenty men on horseback. The moment he tied the treasure for Taro's exchange to the saddle of the leading guard, his motions and thinking became almost automatically. No failure or breakdown of weakness now. He needed to be brave and that he always was.

This morning Aoi painted his eyes even darker than usual, giving him a dangerous look underneath his Turban. Clad in all black and with a heavy long sword, he finally climbed onto his horse and rode outside the safe fortress, followed by his twenty men. His father and mother stood above the stables on their veranda and observed them until they no longer could be seen on the horizon.

It was a hot day and the sand whirled around them from the horses' hooves. Aoi pointed at the northern border of the Sahara which lay in front of them and his horse speeded up. They stopped in front of a long mountain ridge which was the border to his kingdom. It was many kilometers long and at the lowest point about 8 meters high. Aoi guided his horse to a well known passage way and his men followed him. With great effort he suppressed his fast beating heart but he couldn't help himself when three figures appeared on top of the stone ridge. One of them was Zero, he would recognize his lean figure everywhere. Aoi jumped down from his horse and gestured his men to wait behind him. Zero snickered. “I see your father has taken you back in, good for me.” Another ten men stepped forward and lined up with Zero, one of them hold a constrained person who was gagged and blindfolded. Aoi stayed calm and concentrated on Zero.

“Let's get this over with!” Aoi shouted up the ridge.

“Very well.” Zero agreed. “Send one of your guards up here with the treasure and you will get your boy back.”

“Two guards.”

“Listen! You are not the one to make conditions here!”

“Then show me Ryutaro first!” Aoi shouted back.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

  
I heard Aoi's voice in the distance but I couldn't be sure of it. The past night has been hell as traces of the Opium were still running through my veins.... and I dreamt of him and his voice all night long, calling for me and now when it sounded so real I couldn't be sure. All I knew was that I was all tied up and someone hold onto me. Zero's voice was arguing with someone who sounded like Aoi and I shrieked when I felt someone suddenly pulling down the bandages around my head and revealing my sensitive eyes to the midday sun. I squirmed and looked around, seeing us standing on a desert ridge, all dangerous looking men in a row, Zero hovering over me and underneath us... Aoi.

“AOI!!” I lay all my relieve into my voice. Words could not describe what I felt when I saw him. Joy, safety and my heart felt warm. I wanted to be down there with him, in his arms, feeling him, smelling him. Being soothed by his silence and authority which he conveyed so naturally and which made me feel at peace.

Aoi didn't react to my calling at all. He was all professional and didn't even allow a flicker of emotion on his eyes. With one arm he gestured one of his guards with the treasure to step forward and the guard climbed the stony pathway up to us and came to a hold in front of Zero. He settled the treasure down and stretched out one arm to get me. It happened so fast and I was in such a shock hat all I heard was metal on metal, one heavy body slumping down the ground. In the distance Aoi screamed to attack and the mens' shouts filled the air.

I felt a sharp stab on the side of my ribcage before I was tossed into the sand and rolled down all the way into the dunes underneath the ridge. Meanwhile Zero and his bandits disappeared and Aoi's guard followed them deep into the desert. I blacked out during my fall and when I came to me I chocked on my own blood and coughed it out. Only then I realized a large shadow above me, holding onto me... his hands all over my face, caring carefully over the sliced wounds on my face and body.

“Taro... Taro....” For the first time I felt like hearing his real voice, the horror, concern and angst in it. He trembled.

I chocked on his name and searched in the threatening darkness for Aoi's hand. He hold my hand onto his chest while he undid his Turbandand looked me in the face. His tunic underneath me soaked in blood and I felt how tears formed automatically in my eyes. Uncontrollably they rolled down my cheeks and I stretched out one hand to touch his lips. He pulled me further up his legs and hold me tight.

“Taro-”

“I’m glad to have met you.” I managed to whisper. “I wish I could stay longer.” My vision was all blurry and Aoi wiped my tears away. I was in no pain and my whole body felt numb. It was my heart which ached the most. The feeling of loss and disappointment of leaving him soon. He pulled me close and buried me in his arms, breathing against my neck and my hair. “Don't leave me Taro, please stay, please...”

“We will... meet again.” I was sure of it and he asked God why he punished him like this. It made me so unbelievably sad. “You have to let me go.”

“I can't-” He moved back and looked me in the eyes... and to me it seemed that this was the first true expression he has ever give me. “I love you, I need you.”

And I so wanted to be with him. I closed my eyes to cry inside of me and as macabre as it sounded I felt like bleeding out. The wound was just too deep.

“Aoi, can you... do me a favor?”

“All you want.”

“Please search... for my mother. I don't know if she's dead... or alive and if you find her, please tell her.... that I love her.” Talking became hard and breathing hurt. Aoi nodded and I was shocked when he pulled his blood covered hand from underneath me and lay it on the side of my face. He kissed me. Deep and intimate and it felt like our souls were touching.... I will never forget his smell.

“You will be.... a good and... kind king. I love you.”

My hand slipped from the touch on his hair and I did my last breath in between his lips. I died smelling him, tasting him.... I felt at peace but it was Aoi's scream that haunted my soul even after I had died. I saw myself from above and Aoi pressing me onto him, covering me with his tunic, pressing his face onto my neck. My soul cried for him too and then everything resolved into light.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Aoi's guards arrested Zero and the group of bandits the same day. The thieves were hanged while Zero was cowardly enough to swallow poison after his pleads of freedom remained unheard. But what touched me most was when Aoi really returned to my old village to look for my mum and he really found her. I was there with him when he formally addressed her and introduced himself, when he had trouble to tell her the news and she breaking down in his arms.... he hold her, comforted her, feeling the pain which was not strange to him. He couldn't bear to leave her behind so he took her with him into his manor. She was like a second mother to him and it filled my heart with joy.  
He felt at ease when my mother comforted him and told him old stories from my childhood, her laughter reminding him of me, making him melancholic every time. He never fully recovered.

I was buried by the magnolia tree in their private gardens. Just where he could see it from his private quarter's window.... and I was there with him, when he suffered at the window frame, his stare lingering on the tree for hours, him questioning his life and wiping his tears away when someone called for him... He never married.

And him carrying this life long pain inside his heart pained me as well. I wanted him to be happy, even if it meant with another person by his side. Another shock was when his parents died. My mother was there for him but he never fully recovered when she left him too. It was devastating. Aoi was a good king and leader but vulnerable when it came to the heart. Nevertheless he studied like his father wanted him to, carrying this promise between us with him all his life long. But at the end of his lifetime and being without an heir, the heritage was passed over to a cousin.

When his life came to an end, I waited at the magnolia tree. I will never forget his look when he realized that I really came to escort him. I felt all this sorrow and fear leaving him at once and he truly smiled. Happily, he walked towards me and I stretched out my hand for him. He pulled me into an embrace and hold me tight.

He died peacefully in his home, carrying an old leather bracelet around his wrist.

 


	25. Chapter 25

Song to this chapter:

**07 - -soil-** (Kaoru & Toshiya's theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2cUyANaL4U&index=7&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2cUyANaL4U&index=7&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 25

 

_Does it hurt where your heart has once been?_

 

 

The whole story of Taro's past life made Toshiya speechless. Maybe it was this intimate, extreme memory of him which showed Toshiya how naive he had been for all these years. Assuming that he was the only one suffering and feeling deep pain.... No, every existing being experienced it one way or the other but everyone carried it differently. There was nothing more to say, even thanking him for sharing his story seemed like a burden at this moment. So after Taro was done, Toshiya simply pulled him into an embrace, thanking Taro with a nod and showing him respect for sharing it with him. Taro gasped when he saw Toshiya's wet eyes and he touched him by his cheek carefully.

“Don't cry over us. It's in the past and we learned from it.”

“I know... I just,” he paused, “hope that one day I will be able to carry my experiences they way you do.”

“It's not a question of ability Toshiya, it's a matter of perspective. You decide that it won't hurt you anymore.”

With that said, Toshiya, who was the youngest soul of them, just nodded. It sounded so simple but it was yet a concept hard for him to grasp.

“So Taro, after all these years, the concept of feeling and having emotions.... is it something Angels gain control over? Because obviously it is a thing of the brain...”

“And the heart.” Taro smiled.

At that moment Taro's little green mobile phone started buzzing on the bed and broke the silence. They both knew who this call was coming from.

“He's a really nice person, your protege.” Toshiya said.

“He's unbelievable, a miracle! He's so inspired by his surroundings and nature...”

Toshiya started to smile and didn't dream of stopping Taro bragging about him. After a short while, Taro realized Toshiya's ear to ear beam and stopped abruptly.

“Oh don’t look at me like that!”

“Like what?” It highly amused Toshiya.

“Like... like that!”

“Like you are-”

“Don't say it! Don't even dare thinking of it!” There was something dark in Taro's gaze. Like he feared something.... maybe the depths of his own so called _feelings_.

“It is not my right to judge and I will never dare to.” Toshiya made it clear. “I’m sorry Taro but I can’t help it. The two of you are so lovely together... I've never seen something like that before.”

Taro calmed down and searched for an explanation. “I can imagine how it seems like to an outsider but it's just my nature. I love good human beings and enjoy being with them. That is just me acting like I always do. Happily I can say that I found my mate a long time ago.”

A moment of silence followed which was full of unspoken thoughts from both of them. Toshiya, realizing that it was too early for Taro to talk about it and Taro defending his feelings for Aoi. It wasn't Toshiya's right to judge and God knows he would never dare to but the more reasons Taro held against his current situation, the more it started to sound unreal and rather wanted than actually being.

“So, am I the only one being unable to communicate with my Guardian Angel?” Taro changed topic.

“No, I can't talk to Hakuei either.” Toshiya looked down at his hands and traced the lines in them with his eyes. “I wonder how much they see of us on earth.”

“Everything if they want to.”

Toshiya looked back at Taro with a shocked expression. “Really? Like, everything?”

Taro looked suspiciously at his friend. “Well maybe not everything during the whole day. They have business to attend to but....Wait a minute.... what have YOU been doing here on earth which is worth hiding?”

It was a stupid reflex when Toshiya turned his head aside to collect his thoughts. He sat on his bed like a statue when he felt a warm comforting hand on his shoulder. He relaxed.  
  
“It's okay Toshiya, you are my friend and I will never make you feel uncomfortable.”

“I know Taro and I'm sorry.” So Toshiya realized that they both had a sensitive topic, too sensitive to talk about. “Let's wait and see what time brings.”

“You're right.” Taro said. “But I was rather shocked about Ni~ya's harsh words earlier today.”

Opening his mouth and closing it again, Toshiya simply nodded. He hated to admit it but something stroke him deep within when Ni~ya made his observations clear. Maybe it was the knowledge that some facts were maybe not too far-fetched.

“I know I can be a difficult soul and sometimes I feel that I don't deserve Hakuei's care.”

Taro was shocked about his friend's words. “Don't let Ni~ya's words bring you down-”

“But he was right. About everything”

A silence followed when Taro finally spoke up. “So you're giving up? Just like that? You wouldn’t mind if Ni~ya and Hakuei 'team up' just because you're feeling hurt?”

Taro left enough space to interpret 'team up' but no matter how Toshiya considered it, he hated the mere thought of the two of them together. He didn't know why but there was something in the way Ni~ya looked up to Hakuei... was it admiration?

“No I.... It’s really difficult for me Taro, I.... I’ve never been with someone… well, in any personal kind of way before. Which right do I have to claim someone? Especially when he's so advanced and kind?”

Taro smiled widely. He provoked Toshiya to talk and it worked. “Well, I guess Hakuei would have loved to hear that.” Taro took Toshiya's hands into his own. “Then fight for the two of you. Because believe me, you reconsidering your behavior just for him makes you worth the fight too. Be the Angel you are deep within and everything will be just fine.” Taro's words were so beautiful and pure that Toshiya believed them, wanted to believe them. His memories of touching and physical contact felt alien to him, an unpleasant feeling he grew up with. Being near to someone always felt unnatural to him but now, when Taro hold onto his hands so full of love and friendship, Toshiya started to realize what it was like to feel loved.... and Hakuei's face popped up in his head too. All his caring gestures, touches and words.... it felt like ages ago.

“I will do my best.” Toshiya finally said and looked back at Taro.

“Let the past go. You have real friends who care deeply for you. Open your mind for it.”

Toshiya accompanied Taro back home later that night. Their conversation repeated in his head all night long. Taro's words, the knowledge he gained not only about Taro but also about himself. Everything during a single night..... your life could change within a single night.

And although some of these words have stung him deep, Toshiya was sure that he would work on himself to return as a stronger Angel.... someone his friends and family can be proud of.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

  
Sugizo was moody, almost silent these days. He and his few followers were right in the middle of plotting and acting in the background to turn things to his favor. Soon, very soon they would act. Not too long ago, his subordinates captured this annoying Revenge-Angel Karyu and today he wanted to question him thoroughly. If needed with force. A hasty knock pulled him out of his thoughts and Tsukasa entered without waiting to get called in. Sugizo stood up and looked at the troubled face which was hardly ever troubled. Tsukasa bent down and stood up again to report.

“I'm sorry to inform you but Yu~ki and Közi just came back from a mission on earth…”

“And?”

“… they freed Karyu and brought him back to earth.”

“WHAT?! HOW COULD THEY..... WHY?!!”

“It was Kirito himself who ordered it.”

Sugizo balled his hands into fists, his concentrated glare was pure evil. That wasn't only a punch in his face but a fallback in his plans too. Maybe he underestimated Kirito and he better found out what else Kirito thought he 'knew'.

“But the question is,” Sugizo started, “how did he know about Karyu? And why did he set him, an Angel, free?”

Tsukasa looked around thinking and lifted his hands and shoulders. “Maybe the prisoner bribed him with something?”

“Huh! What could an Angel possibly offer to the Son of the Dark Lord-” He paused and Tsukasa ended his sentence.

“Information?”

Sugizo was thinking before he said it out loud. “Tsukasa, I want you to go up to earth. Yuana and Gackt are busy building up my army so I need you as my watchdog up there. You are the only one I can trust now.”

Tsukasa nodded. “As you wish. What do you want me to find out?”

“Anything. But keep an eye especially on the Angels of Revenge. Be careful, they are not to be underestimated.”

“Got it.” And Tsukasa left the room. When the door was closed, Sugizo summoned another high Demon with the snap of his fingers. Miyavi. As a form changer he wasn't only an asset to his plans but also strategist.

“With Kirito setting Karyu free... could our peace treaty be in danger?”

“I don't give a damn about the treaty and you know that. It is only a question of time for us to break it but we have to be patient. Not now, it's still too early. Luckily heaven is still occupied with researching for the ‘teleporter’.... and so should we. We have to find the teleporting creature first…”

Miyavi nodded and Sugizo continued.

“Just imagine what power I will possess when I'm on the Dark Lord's throne, the teleporter as my ally on my side to travel all spheres freely. This means limitless power. We have to find it, no matter what. And we have to bring Kirito to fall very soon my friend.”

Miyavi continued. “But what do we do if we find it? We 'promised' to destroy the 'teleporter'. How do we avoid doing that?”

“Then our substitute from hell dies. In this case 'Uruha'. The person whose face you took when we signed the contract.”

“Right, I remember.”

“It has to be perfect, it WILL be perfect, come what may.” Sugizo called out for Mako and he appeared in his hall, bending down respectfully.

“Demon of Death, how’s dying going on?”

Mako answered in his soft yet theatrical pitched voice. “Collecting is good yet the new Angel of Death interferes more and more into my work.”

“Tell me about him.”

“His name is Toshiya. He’s an apprentice Guardian Angel with the ability to heal wings.” Mako didn't have to add that the healing ability was a rare and powerful gift. Sugizo as an fallen Angel knew all about it which raised his attention. He knew nothing about this Toshiya-Angel. Mako continued. “He keeps on hunting the souls I’m looking for but until now I’m faster and stronger.”

“… until now.” Sugizo accentuated. “Never underestimate a wing healer. And to make things worse, he is an Angel of Death too. The discrepancy couldn't be bigger. That's very unusual. Be careful Mako and report any changes immediately. You can go.” Sugizo said and the Demon of Death disappeared.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

Inside the mind of....

  
_Toshiya_

 

The first time I realized that things started to change was when my coworkers started to greet and look me in the face again. Hesitant and insecure, if they really meant me, I was simply amazed and somewhere deep inside of me.... moved. Moved by the sudden change in their behaviour, although I knew where the change was coming from. Slowly I realized what Kaoru's scolding was all about. He sensed the bad seeds before I could even guess... but I didn't want to flatter myself and pressume that it was maybe... partly..... because of their behaviour against me? If that was true, how could I adress him and speak about the topic? If it concerned me in the first place..... but still there was this feeling that I should thank him.  
  
Different past memories of _us_ together played in front of my inner eyes. All these more or less serious conversations, the stolen glimpses of each other which I couldn't deny, the unreadable faces and actions of him.... Being naive was somehow cute on girls but in my case, it was cruel. He told me then, I realized it now. Me, the ever wandering and blind one. I always thought that actions hurt people but not acting or interacting could hurt too, even more. Especially _him,_ since we were connected one way or the other.

I should have known by his posture, the unspoken words, the hold back actions …. all this an outcome of _me_ not reacting. Not understanding, being superficial in everything I pursue. And it seemed that no matter how I tried to twist and turn it, I didn't like the direction it was taking. Maybe because everything was instable, insecure, unknown. A mirror of my very self portrayed in this world, onto _him_. It didn't matter if it was the dark ages or far in the future, I am, was and would always be myself.  
  
During the days, it seemed as if his ears twitched when I laughed out loud or spoke to other people. So I became stupidly self aware during my daily life... why? I didn't know or more, I didn't want to assume. I felt being watched when I turned around a corner in town or when I left my apartment. When I checked my mobile phone for new messages or when I lay in bed at night. I slowly realized that I would only make it through this task when I got fully involved. Nothing half-heartedly, nothing in a breath of a moment. But being fully there.

Or maybe not.  
  


 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  


 

In full melancholy, Toshiya observed a beautiful sunrise on the rooftop of the skyscraper. He tip toed out early this morning, trying to avoid meeting Kaoru..... lately, he realized that he had difficulties looking him in the eye. There was unmistakably a connection between them, but if it was because of their Guardian-bond or something else, Toshiya didn't want to guess, didn't want to know, didn't want to really find out. But he knew that he couldn't run from it, wouldn't want to either. What was for certain was the fact that no matter how things would turn out, they would both eventually grow from it.

A sudden gush of wind made him raise from his crouching position and Toshiya looked up in the air, only to see a familiar pair of wings landing right in front of him. It just seemed as if Toshiya was waiting for him but he didn't know about his visit. “Karyu!” The young Angel hugged him tightly and Karyu responded his usual way of tousling through his hair.

“Thank God you’re okay.”

Toshiya was surprised, as he had no idea what was going on the past days in heaven and hell. “Why shouldn’t I be?”

“Let us talk in private.”

Toshiya nodded and motioned Karyu to follow him. They approached Toshiya's apartment and Sakito passed them on his way to art school. He greeted them friendly and Karyu narrowed his eyes when Sakito passed. It was too quick for Toshiya or Sakito to notice but there was something about Sakito's soul only higher ranked Angels were able to see. Toshiya whom never mentioned Sakito before seemed without bias. What sparked Karyu's interest wasn't just the high creativity and lightning extending from Sakito's soul, he also seemed very wise in a rare way. Yet this soul was strange to Karyu. He decided to keep an eye on him now and then, just in case.

“Is he your friend?” Karyu wanted to know.

Toshiya responded in thoughts when he fumbled for his keys. ^Yes, he works with me at the bar and his Guardian Angel is Ni~ya.^

Karyu breathed out loud and rolled his eyes when he threw back his head. He touched his nape with one hand and seemed worried.

^Something not okay?^

^Nah, I just hope that this Ni~ya-kid is capable of doing a good job.^

That moment a well known voice turned around the corner with a cell phone in his hand. Kaoru looked at his favorite employee and the unknown, clearly older guest. He stopped in his tracks and Toshiya just slightly nodded at him when he led Karyu into his apartment and closed the door. Again it was Karyu who realized things without being said or done.

“And that was my protege.”

“Good heavens, what a gathering of high developed souls. Heaven surely knows how to keep you guys all occupied.”

“What do you mean?”

“My first impression? This guy,” Karyu pointed into direction door and meant Kaoru, “is not what he pretends to be. There is a lot more going on and he is an old and experienced soul too. This task you have been given, will be a lesson for your immortal life time. One you will never forget.”

“And that's just your first impression?”

“In a matter of time you will learn it too.”

“What do you mean?”

“Instinct. Trust your feelings.” A moment of silence followed and Karyu continued. “But why I'm here is, I was worried. As I couldn't keep an eye on you the past few days.”

“What are you talking about?”

“There was a lot of wicked stuff going on between heaven and hell.”

Karyu gave Toshiya a short but thorough run through. About him being kidnapped and Miyavi taking on his form to do foul business in the name of Sugizo. Speechless about the incident which was heavy indeed, made Toshiya sit down on his bed. He rested with his elbows on his knees and with mere horror he was glued to Karyu's lips. He always loved listening to Karyu talking as his words were all honest and sometimes even wise. But this incident clearly showed that hell was ready to take action and wasn't coy about physical assault.

When Karyu stopped, Toshiya was all confused and nervous. “And now WHY did all of this happen again?”

Karyu remained silent for a moment. The truth was that heaven and hell were desperately looking for the reborn 'cross', an old prophecy about a world wanderer who was able to go through all spheres and possessing unimaginable powers. But outside the higher ranks no one knew about this prophecy, an precaution to keep the lower ranks at ease.

“It's about a plot between hell ranks, lead by Lucifer himself.”

It was no lie but still only half of the truth.

“Why I'm here is.... Toshiya I want you to report any strange occurrences or gossip right to me. Meanwhile I will keep an eye on you from the distance or even close if necessary. I know that heavenly law forbids to interfere into Guardian Angel and protege business.... but I couldn't care less what these old farts up there are thinking. You are my and Shinya's son and I won't watch stupidly how shit is going down.”

With wide opened eyes, Toshiya looked back at Karyu whom had his fists balled and his forehead wrinkled. And it was his instincts that told him that this was about way more than Karyu wanted to tell.

“Okay, I will call for you then.”

Karyu nodded and when he looked over to Toshiya again he said one single name which drained the color all out of Toshiya's face. “Mako.”

A moment of uncomfortable silence.

“You know him?”

“Not personally but I know about him. The soul collector. Did you have any troubles with him?”

“Well....” Toshiya mentioned the incidents when they were fighting about dead souls and Karyu nodded just like he knew what was going on.

“Then why didn't you ever tell me?”

“Because I thought it's normal rivalry between heaven and hell.”

“Well let me assure you: This Mako-Demon doesn't do a 'normal' job. They are on a contest with heaven about the amount of souls and because of that I will keep an eye on him too.”

“Why is that?”

Karyu breathed out loud and spilled the beans.

“Mako collects as many souls as possible because Sugizo builds up an army to claim the Devil’s son’s throne. Now you know. Keep that information an absolute secret. This is about eternal life and death.”

With a shocked expression, Toshiya stammered. “T-then what am I supposed to do now?”

“Nothing. Keep low and do your job like you used to. Report anything unusual to me, that's all you can do right now. Leave the rest to us.”

Karyu stood up. “I'm responsible for this area. Revenge-Angels are watching all places on earth. So don't be afraid and call for us if you need help. And be careful and wander the city with both eyes and instincts open, got it?”

Toshiya nodded and Karyu stopped in his motions when he wanted to turn the door knob around, sensing a presence waiting at the end of the corridor. “Another thing.... you better make up a good explanation why I was here.”  
  


 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Karyu passed a narrow corridor, in which Kaoru was standing (or better hiding), slowly with a smirk on his face. Just to make sure that his tall body size and looks left an impression. Maybe it was a parental thing from his side to show Kaoru not to mess with him or Toshiya but on the other hand, he maybe catwalked down the corridor for his ego's sake too. Karyu felt a tingling in the air, something only high spirited souls send out....and he didn't like it one bit. Maybe because it reminded him too much of himself... _anger, curiosity, restrain_ and then _jealousy_. This Kaoru-guy just made a new enemy and didn't even know it yet. But Karyu decided that it was better not to cause a scene, at least for now. He left the building like a normal human being would.

Toshiya's door closed shut for the second time when the young Angel left his apartment and as soon as he turned around the corner, there was Kaoru in his dominant state and his unreadable aura. Just like Karyu hinted before he left.

“Why is it that I always feel observed by you?” Toshiya addressed him first, trying to take the lead for a change.  
  
Kaoru smirked and a husky laugh filled the air. “Maybe because I'm observing you.” Why hiding the obvious. Honest and straight forward were Kaoru's well known traits. And Toshiya kissed his idea of being verbally in charge goodbye. He faltered and his long hated insecurity set in. He remained silent and couldn't help himself but feel like a rabbit in front of the big bad wolf, although it should be him protecting HIS protege. Kaoru pushed himself from the wall and continued talking.

“I know you are just naive….” Toshiya smelled Kaoru’s expensive perfume when he passed him. “... but that's what makes you cruel.”

Uneasily, the young Angel smiled. “Me? That's an interesting way of putting it-” Toshiya stopped talking when one hand slammed into the wall behind him and dark eyes looked into his, silencing him in a brutal, non-verbal way.... making him see colors in those eyes which he had never seen before.

“I'm not accustomed to work and wait for something I want to have.”

Toshiya made a hard guess what or better whom Kaoru meant.... “And I'm an impatient man. It is YOU,” he pointed at Toshiya, “I'm holding back from to protect you.”

“From what?”

Kaoru pulled back his arm and took Toshiya's chin into his hands. “Run...” The young Angel was perplex. “.... that's what I should tell you but you made me weak and I can't bare the thought of sending you away.” Toshiya looked at Kaoru in total puzzlement. “You're already in too deep. Sending you away, I couldn't protect you from afar.”

It circled in Toshiya's head, that it was his job to look after Kaoru. They both seemed crazy with the idea of protecting each other. “I was always alone.” Seemed the most stupid thing he could say.

“That's what you think.” A softness came into Kaoru's eyes when he cared over Toshiya's cheek. “I feel totally unarmed in your presence, guess that's your honesty. It dismantles me.”

Toshiya drew in a deep breath when he lifted up his arm and touched Kaoru's hand. He hold it tight and spoke from his heart. “No matter what happens Kaoru, I will always be with you.” And he meant it in so many ways, so many ways which he could never tell. And time stood still when Kaoru leaned in closer, hold onto Toshiya's hand as well... And God he was gorgeous, charming, absolutely arrogant and he smelled good but nevertheless, Toshiya stretched out his arm and lay it onto Kaoru's chest to hold him back. They couldn't. And when Kaoru opened his eyes, they were deep, dark and not amused.

“You said it yourself: I'm already in too deep. We better stop here.”

Toshiya slid away from the wall behind him. “It's not that I'm not feeling flattered but.... I must go.” And confused as he was, he made his way back to his room…. which he never reached.

It seemed like in slow motion when Kaoru grabbed for Toshiya's arm, whirled him around and pushed him forcefully against the lobby wall. “Kao-” And the older man kissed him with such force.... It was brutal, demanding and took their breaths away in no time. Toshiya hated himself for closing his eyes too quickly, for reaching up into Kaoru's hair and touching this silky black strands of his perfect hair while Kaoru's body pinned him against the wall, not caring that it ruined his perfectly fitted suit. Instead he bit into Toshiya's full lips and tasted him again and again. Kaoru's energy was all over Toshiya and he couldn't free himself of him. God knew, he enjoyed it too. He had been alone for too long. Long forgotten human feelings came into play and the thought of doing something forbidden filled him with guilt.  
With all his power and before it went too far, Toshiya pushed Kaoru off of him and the older man collected himself and reached into his hair when he looked at Toshiya like a prey. “I told you I'm not accustomed to wait.”

The young Angel was startled about such arrogant behavior. “So that's all you can say after... well, after this!”

“I don't talk much, I act.”

Toshiya opened his mouth but kept his thoughts to himself. There was no sense in talking now. Speechless, he fumbled for his keys and this time, Kaoru let him go when he passed him quickly and disappeared into his room. He closed the door loudly shut and leaned against it from the inside. He hold his head in his hands and closed his eyes. Again and again he stammered. “Please go, leave, leave...” And after a short while he heard Kaoru's steps echoing down the corridor until he was gone.

He glided down the door and slumped onto the ground, hiding his face behind his hair, his arms, his knees. It was only now when realization settled in about what really happened. It was their second kiss but this one was something completely different from last time. This time Kaoru was sure about what he did, no regret and full force. The moments played like an endless film in his head. Kaoru, his protege, his smell, the dark eyes and his demanding nature.... Toshiya felt so drowned. He felt like all his energy sucked out of him. Kaoru was such a mentally strong character. He wondered why he was assigned to such a human.

It was a mess. He was a mess. It was chaos.....

  
… _Hakuei...._  
  


 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was a beautiful, sunny day. A day perfect for art, drawing and having a good time.

Tadashi sat on the grass of his favorite park nearby his art school and as usually he drew everything he could see into his sketch book: People, insects and the nature itself. Ryutaro often accompanied him but today he stayed back at school to finish his oil painting which he called ‘decadent thriftiness’. Tadashi was long done with his assignment and continued with his private studies instead. He loved drawing ladybirds and all kind of insects but hated dogs in general because they were too noisy for him. That’s why he had fishes at home.

Since Tadashi was a little boy, he dreamt about becoming a playground designer. He wanted to create a world full of dreams where children could play all day long and have fun. Today not much has changed: He studied to become a toy designer. Now and then he even worked part time at a toy shop in town. He loved it and children loved him too. Sales were always increasing when he was at work.

With his index finger, Tadashi pushed the black framed glasses up his nose again. He was sunken in his work that only out of habit he checked his watch and froze when he saw the time, remembering an appointment which he had to attend to today. Hastily, he stuffed his belongings into his bag and ran into direction city.

Some time later that day, Ryutaro was still busy painting. He was hopelessly covered in all shades of colors, from head to toe, even with paint being successfully on his shoes. As he wanted to see Toshiya later, he decided to call it a day and went over to the sink to clean his brushes. He hold them under the running water when his vision suddenly became blurry and he dropped them into the sink. Fighting the dizziness, he hold onto the sink and closed his eyes when a vision started to play inside his head.

Automatically and in pure shock, Taro tore the apron from his body and dashed out the classroom, out the school building, leaving a perplex teacher and students behind. He ran as fast as his human feet could take him through the park into direction crossroads of the busy town district. In pure horror, he looked around and scanned the people for a particular person… finally he could make out a puff of blonde hair in the distance, right in the middle of the road and that’s when he saw the traffic lights turning red again. Without a second thought, Taro dashed into the busy street and screamed as loud as he could: “TADASHI!!!”

Out of natural reflex the blond turned around and saw the truck coming closer and closer to him, cars were honking, people were screaming.... and then a strong shove which tossed him onto the side of the street. The truck passed still honking but luckily no one was harmed. In no time they were surrounded by people, asking if they were all right but the two were still too shocked from what had almost happened. Taro moved into a standing position and pulled Tadashi up with himself. During the impact, Tadashi lost his bag and glasses. Taro took the obviously baffled Tadashi on his hand and guided him back onto the sidewalk.

“Are you hurt?” Taro asked, sorrow swinging in his voice. But Tadashi simply stared at him with a look Taro had never seen before. Tadashi’s eyes were red and swollen. He must have been crying before the incident..... it nearly broke his heart.

Hastily, Tadashi turned his gaze away and collected his glasses and bag from the side of the street. He put them back on and hid his eyes behind the golden strands of his hair. But there was no way in hiding his feelings, his body language showed it all in the way he moved and kept silent.... it was hurting by mere watching it.

Tadashi stopped moving when he felt arms encircling him, Taro's cheek leaning against his head and nuzzling into the golden hair. He stiffened, still didn't say a word. It wasn't like they never hugged before but this seemed more intimate. This was Taro reacting to his hidden feelings.... and Tadashi felt so miserable for not holding himself together, for starting to shake, for loosing tears silently and dropping onto Taro's shirt. He closed his eyes and still didn't say a word. He couldn't. And it nearly broke Taro's heart. So he simply kept on holding Tadashi, right in the middle of the sidewalk where people were passing and ignoring them.

Taro felt that on this day something big had changed and it meant no good.

Slowly, the black haired Angel leaned back but he had trouble to do so since Tadashi hold onto Ryutaro’s arms tightly, clamping onto him for support. It was devastating: The happy and carefree Tadashi seemed to have vanished.

It was out of reflex and a good portion of Love when Taro kissed Tadashi onto his head tenderly and slowly he let go of Taro's arms. As a matter of course, he took Tadashi's bag and slung it over his own shoulders, then he took Tadashi's hand which was scratched and slightly bleeding from the pavement and wrapped it with his own paint stained handkerchief. Even after Taro was done, Tadashi didn't let go off this hand, he couldn't. It seemed like the younger man was keeping him up. Taro understood and together they walked back to Taro's home.

“You sure nothing hurts?” Taro's voice seemed so loud when he broke the silence at his home. He gestured Tadashi to sit down on his couch but Tadashi simply shook his head. The concern about Tadashi possibly asking him how came he was present at the situation earlier, was simply not given. For that the blond was still too shaken.

“What happened?” Taro looked with pain in his eyes at Tadashi whom was still hiding his face somehow. Like reading Taro's mind, Tadashi finally looked at Taro before he took his glasses off and put them aside onto the table. “I will no longer need them.” He almost whispered. Taro looked in utter surprise at his protégé. “I don’t understand… what do you mean?” Tadashi shook his head and grabbed desperately into his hair while Taro hold onto his other hand tightly.

“My eyes were bad since I can remember.”

Taro of course knew about that.

“The doctor said that it’s unavoidable…”

And Ryutaro slowly had an inkling what Tadashi was trying to say.

“No…” Taro whispered in shock.

“Maybe 8 years… maybe more or less, no one can tell-“ Tadashi stopped talking, his throat became dry again. Taro didn’t dare to take the word ‘blind’ into his mouth, didn’t want to believe it. Tadashi was numb from pain. It seemed like all his vitality and reason for living was slowly dying. And Taro could feel it, literally. He drowned in it as he felt it too. Taro stood up and encircled the broken bundle on his couch with both arms, he hold him close and didn't let go.

“… so that’s it…” Hardly audible Tadashi whispered into Taro's chest.

“Tadashi!” Taro moved back and dropped onto his knees, looking up into Tadashi's face. “Do not give up! Maybe it won’t happen! What do this people know! You are the most inspiring and loveable person I’ve ever met and I will not watch you giving up! Understand? I will help you, always!”

Tadashi's heart skipped a beat. He so wanted to hear these words, believe him but he couldn't. “You’ve got a life of your own. I won’t burden you with my problems.”

Taro shook with his head. “You will never be a burden.”

Tadashi breathed out loud. Taro made it so hard for him but he swore it to himself a long time ago that when this day would come, no one should ever know. He pushed Ryutaro gently away. “That’s stupid… I should have never told anybody-” Taro looked hurt. “Am I ‘anybody’?”

They both knew that it was more than that. “Of course not… I’m sorry Taro, I never wanted to hurt you but I guess no matter what I say or do, I will. Every day you will see me and you will think about it. I don’t want any pity, I couldn't stand it.”

“I will never pity you because you are more than I have ever been.” Tadashi covered his face with his hands. How cold Taro be so wonderful? But he couldn't burden him with it, never. “I can’t Taro, please understand that.”

“Why not? Please let me help you!” Taro whom was still kneeling in front of Tadashi touched Tadashi’s arms but the blond still covered his face. Tadashi shook his head.

“WHY NOT?!”

“Because I love you.”

It was as simply as that and yet these words were so powerful.

Taro widened his eyes and let go of Tadashi’s arms. They both remained silent and although Tadashi had lowered his arms, he didn’t look up. Scared of what Taro's expression could possibly show him. Taro was shocked to say the least. A thousand thoughts hit him at once. Memories of them came up, the long forgotten stares and moments he always thought were natural.... and they were natural because none of them ever had to pretend in front of the other. Everything was so easy when Tadashi was around, they almost acted like.... one unity. And again Taro was shocked about his own discovery. This is what heaven calls..... soul partners. Could it be? Impossible.

“I…. will be your eyes.” Taro answered without a second thought, without any regret. Their fate was bound together. He would never let Tadashi fight on his own. Not now or ever.

Tadashi was too moved to make any eye contact but he hold onto Taro's hands tightly, needed him although his words stated otherwise. “You are the sweetest and kindest person I’ve ever met… but no.”

It took all his courage, all his strength to stand up and let go of these warm, lovingly hands. Blinded by tears, he grabbed for his bag and glasses. He nodded to signalize his good bye and walked over to the entrance door.

“No!” Taro followed Tadashi and grabbed for his wrist. “Don't run from me, please!” It was Taro's voice which became threateningly thin now. “Please stop... stop.” Tadashi couldn't turn around, his pride forbade it. So Taro took the initiative and walked around him. “Why can't you look at me?” A simple shake again with his head wasn't enough and Taro touched Tadashi's cheek. He kissed him onto his forehead which triggered something deep inside of Tadashi and made him hold back his tears very hard. God he felt so weak although he wanted to stay strong.

He lost it completely when cold lips touched the edge of his mouth clumsily and it was a natural reflex when Tadashi turned his head and responded to the soft touch. Salty tears from his side mixed into their tender kiss... they were both silently crying, holding onto each other in desperation. Tadashi's hands glided automatically into Taro's nape to pull him closer onto himself. He felt so perfect against him, so much better than he had ever dared dreaming of.

Taro moaned Tadashi's name in between their kiss and he smiled bitterly at the thought of how very much the kiss was so Tadashi-like. It felt so right, like coming home.

“I’m sorry. I forced you into this. It's all my fault.” Tadashi broke the contact abruptly.

“What?” Still dizzy, Taro saw how Tadashi opened the entrance door next to them.

“Please forget everything. I’m really sorry.” And Tadashi closed the door from the outside and left. How...? How could he possibly... leave, like that? The small Angel sank down onto his knees, his lips were still warm and the air still smelled like him. What happened? The last few hours turned their life completely around, changed Tadashi so much, it hurt Taro tremendously seeing him suffer like that. But their kiss... it was no pity either that's for sure. Taro shook his head, he felt awful for betraying another soul who swore to love him... _Aoi_... whom he swore to love... maybe it was better that Tadashi had left.

The mere thought turned his stomach around. No, it didn't feel right that Tadashi left but his betrayal on the other hand.... it was all his fault. His insecurity and immaturity in how to handle a situation like that. It was too much, everything was too much. His protege would eventually turn blind but he was too proud to take any of his offered help. And yet they were bound together by fate, Taro would look after him. If not in this world then from the other. Was this how it was supposed to be? What could he possibly do? What to say? To both of them?

It was him who had to decide now: Returning to heaven, leaving Tadashi and watching him in invisible state or staying on earth and leaving Aoi?

No matter his decision, he couldn't have both.

And the pain of separation from one part set already in.

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

Songs to this chapter:

**08 – My profession is your decline** (Demon's theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--GkEfOH-L4&index=8&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--GkEfOH-L4&index=8&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

**09 – One green balloon** (Ryutaro & Tadashi Theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyk9-v1KgFo&index=9&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyk9-v1KgFo&index=9&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 26

 

_Clear cut_

 

 

Inside the mind of.....

_Toshiya_

 

It was very late at night when I finally returned home. I found Taro in his apartment, devastated, torn apart between two souls which he dearly loved. Now he came to realized under the hardest circumstances that it was possible to love two souls. He told me everything about Tadashi's fate and it was heartbreaking to see him suffer like that. He didn't deserve that, they all didn't. And all I could do was hold onto him and listen. No clever words no well meant advise. God knew I had enough going on myself and I wanted to tell and ask for Taro's opinion but of course I kept quiet about my shocking kiss with Kaoru.

I opened the door and slipped over something on the floor. My room was only lit by the moon light but I made out an envelope on the floor. I picked it up and felt something bulgy. Turning the lights on with my elbow, I opened it but there was no letter inside. Instead I hold a pair of car keys in my hand. I was shocked, could it be? This letter needed no explanation because I knew exactly who delivered it.

I put my bag down and left my apartment again. I took the elevator down to the parking lot, the dim blue lights of the elevator making me unnecessarily sleepy. The reflection in the crystal mirror showed a young, modern man who seemed more and more strange to me. Modern haircut, the clothes, even my body language and words fit more and more into this time. Maybe it was the lack of sleep which made me realize that I finally peeled off that old skin which hold me back from everything. From Life, new people, even from myself. Without realizing it, I had changed.

I stepped out the elevator and looked around, not knowing what I was looking for. I fished out the car keys and pushed a little button. In the distance I heard a noise and saw lights flashing. I ran over to where the lights came from and stopped speechless in front of a dark blue Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG GT. Or at least that's what the license plate said. I was baffled and embarrassed about it. It couldn't be that the car was meant for me and if so, I was mad about myself, giving the impression that I might be buyable. What could I possibly do with such a ridiculous expensive car? I couldn't even drive! Not to mention that I would NEVER drive through mad Tokyo's traffic with any kind of vehicle!

I didn't know why but I opened the door and it proved that the keys really belonged to it. I sat down into the soft leather seat, smelled the new car and looked at the high tech surrounding me... it was a beautiful creation, no doubt about that but I had no idea how to possibly move it. I would return the car keys the following day and decline it. Naturally.

My eyes wandered over the interior when I saw a cream colored box lying on the passenger's seat right next to me. This time there was a card sticking to the ribbon on top of it. Not that the car was absolutely lavish... I hesitated but pulled out the card. His handwriting was just as he was: Elegant and expensive looking.

 

_I imagined you wearing it while driving this car._

_Please fulfill my vision and make use of it._

_K_

  
I took off the lid and pulled out a custom made, black leather jacket. Out of the finest leather and decorated with silver rivets. It was a piece of art, touching it left a pleasant feeling on my skin. So I couldn't help myself and I got out of the car and put it on. It fit perfectly, my reflection on the car window looked like one of these fashion adverts in ginza. Again, new attire, new person.

I collected the card and box from the inside and closed the car from the outside again. I kept the jacket on but decided to return both gifts in the morning immediately. Too much was simply too much. I wasn't _his_ in any kind of sense and accepting gifts from Kaoru seemed just too much. Not after the last incident when he demanded me so selfishly.

The next morning came and I found myself in front of Kaoru's closed office. Cursing at myself, I went to work and it turned out that Kaoru and his highest subordinates had left, without telling anyone when and why. There was a silent uneasiness among us workers but we hosted Kaoru's business as usual. It wasn't only his absence which caused the uneasiness. I saw it in their faces and heard it in their unspoken words: A strange anxiety which could not be named.

After my shift was done, I looked for Sakito for a chat in private. Asking about the current situation, he simply shrugged his shoulders and added that it was better not to know everything. Well, unfortunately I WAS here on earth to know about everything, concerning a special someone in particular but Sakito could hardly know that. He knew something but my guts told me that he was forbidden to talk about it. I knew that Sakito also counted to Kaoru's closer circle of subordinates as he was driving and working for Kaoru's car park as well.

I wasn't stupid. Naive maybe but I knew as much that Kaoru was boss over the prefecture where we were living on and I probably suspected right that not all business here was legal and white. But he was my responsibility and I wouldn't give up on him and protect him. Come what may. My ambitions sank lower and lower when the whole week passed and still no sign of Kaoru and his subordinates. The box with his leather jacket rested on my table, on top of it the keys. I only kept the card. I concentrated on his energy but couldn't sense a thing. He must have been miles away. I also realized that the feeling of being observed stopped. I should have been happy about it but at the same time it concerned me.

I wasn't the most attentive Angel when it came to non-verbal exchange of feelings but I was a quick learner and felt that my energy slowly found its rhythm with Kaoru's energy stream. It was hard to subscribe but it made me feel getting on in my business with him, although with little steps. Even Ni~ya seemed more at ease with his energy-sprout Sakito and I was sincerely happy for them. Although he still didn't talk to me.

My uneasiness grew every day and at the end of the second week I was a mess. Calling the higher sphered Angels because of a disappearance of one mortal protege seemed too much. So all I could do was waiting. I thought about all possibilities to find Kaoru, in the physical and mental way. I tried it with dream traveling but I literally found all doors closed. Why? Because I was too inexperienced? Too weak?

What if he died far away and I wasn't there to fetch him? But most of all, how could he escape without me noticing it in the first place? Was I so busy? Inattentive? And what if I had failed in my task altogether, for now and all eternity? And what would Hakuei say? Did he know anything about my business here?

Now pain for two absent souls set in. I felt numb. In my desperation, I called for Sakito and we smoked on top of the roof top. He breathed out his smoke playfully and his beautiful light colored hair hung half into his face. He was so lovely, I really liked him.

“I know it's not my business but I feel very unsettled...”

Sakito looked at me. “Toshiya, I already told you, there is business we have no right to know about.”

“Maybe it's not the business I care about.” There was no way in hiding whom I was really concerned about.

“So it is him?” Sakito narrowed his eyes and looked playfully back at me. “You both can't hide it very well. Anyone with brain noticed it. That incident with Kaoru scolding his employees that night at the club, that was personal Toshiya. And your face right now just confirmed it.”

“What?!” I knew that the crew was suspicious of me because Kaoru kept an extra careful eye on me but hearing it out loud was something completely different. “It's not like that. We are just concerned about each other.”

“Hai hai....” Sakito took another drag. “It's fine with me but I tell you Toshiya because I like you: Don't get in too deep. There are a lot of people who want to hurt Kaoru by hurting his business, the people he cares about. Take down a notch, for your own safety... and the freedom of your soul.”

“You are racing his cars?” I asked, changing the topic and Sakito nodded. “I saw them in the underground car park.”

“Let's just say that this establishment isn't his only source of income. That's also why I'm not concerned that they left for two weeks in a row. They used to do that in the past.” I felt Sakito's eyes wandering down my upper body. “Jesus Totchi, that leather jacket is fantastic. Where did you get that?”

I paled. In a rush and being poor on clothes I grabbed for Kaoru's leather jacket earlier and I had to confess that it felt so good wearing it.

“I got it for a special price in town.”

“Really nice.” Sakito smiled.

  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  


 

It was a gray, cold day when Sakito and Toshiya walked through the park back from school to their home. Although they invited Taro to come and join them for something hot to drink, he declined and murmured that he had something to do. Of course Toshiya could imagine what it was. They parted ways and so it was just the two of them.... well not quite. Invisibly Ni~ya followed but as always he didn't say a word to Toshiya and Sakito had no idea about Ni~ya's existence whatsoever, not to mention what Toshiya really was.

They joked and Sakito made fun of what one of his teachers said about one of his paintings earlier, when the hair on Toshiya's neck suddenly started to rise and his eyes changed without warning to red pupils.

Everything happened within seconds: Toshiya screaming mentally at Ni~ya, then he knocked Sakito unconscious with a snap of his fingers and carried him over to a bench on the sidewalk... a cold gust of wind marked the appearance of the intruders: On the frozen green grass, Tsukasa appeared and behind a tree, Yuana as a wolf stepped to the front and joined him. Next to Tsukasa, an uniform clad Demon made his appearance as well: Gackt, Leader of the Demon army. And to make the quartet complete, a terrifying high laughter filled the air, of course, Mako.

Four against one.... two. Ni~ya became visible next to Toshiya when he made sure that Sakito has been taken care of from strangers in the park. It somehow filled Toshiya with a little more courage that Ni~ya joined him. Toshiya looked around and realized that humans luckily couldn't see them in their fighting mode. Ni~ya and Toshiya were both concerned about the gathering of high class Demons but they didn't show it. Ni~ya quickly looked at Toshiya's transformed eyes before he turned his attention back to the Demons in front of them and narrowed his eyes.

Tsukasa smiled. “Welcome, children of heaven. You don’t honestly believe that two second class Guardian Angels can stop us?”

“Then what is it to you, starting a battle with two second class Guardian Angels?” Toshiya snapped back.

The anticipation was palpable. Tsukasa lifted up his head and with a piercing glare he eyed Toshiya. “You are very special gifted I see and on top of it in that 'mule of an Angel'-Karyu's area.... can it be that you are something special to him?”

As hell's watchdog, Tsukasa was perfect in counting one and one together. He was highly intelligent and very shrewd. His whole aura extended danger and power and thus Toshiya's silence was answer enough.

“Too bad you crossed our business here. Now you are both in it.”

“Don’t you dare touching innocent humans here!” Toshiya threatened and opened his wings, completely switching into the Angel of Death-mode. Ni~ya opened his wings as well, although he had no special powers but he could naturally move faster with them.

“How touching….” Tsukasa moved his head slightly into Yuana's direction and the wolf started running into a small crowd of humans. The two Angels had no idea what the wolf was capable of. His wolf form disappeared and like a cloud of dust he ran through the humans.... when he became visible again, the four people fell dead to the ground. Just like that. Without any open wounds. Toshiya covered his mouth in shock, the initial second when Mako collected the souls and disappeared with them. So that's what Karyu was talking about the other day. They are collecting souls for their army. Then Gackt must be their army's Leader.

Brave as they were, Toshiya started storming towards Mako to rescue the souls but he was already gone. Meanwhile Yuana made a group of newly died souls. They were too much, too powerful for the two of them. Ni~ya tried to get to the souls first but Mako had already reappeared with a terrifying, high laughter. Gackt stormed towards Ni~ya, that was also when Mako froze in his moves and a well known voice echoed through the air.

“SHINYA! Get the souls!”

Toshiya couldn't believe his ears and eyes. There really was his past life time-mother, also in Angel of Death mode with the red eyes and he was so beautiful, so skilled and elegant. Shinya collected the newly dead souls while Mako remained in a frozen state. The Demons started to get uneasy from this higher sphered energy and looked around where it came from. Shinya formed words of love on his lips when he looked at Toshiya for the split of a second before he disappeared into heaven again.

“… Shinya….” Was all Toshiya was able to whisper.

“MOVE!!!” Tsukasa screamed a commanded Yuana to attack again.

Everything happened too fast: Yuana attacking humans, Gackt storming towards Ni~ya who tried to attack Yuana. Then finally Karyu landed next to Toshiya, accompanied by the Leader of the Angels of Revenge, Kazu.

“Ni~ya!!!” Toshiya screamed and Karyu flew towards them but it was too late. In Gackt's hand, a red, long spear appeared... a sickening chop filled the air and Ni~ya fell to the ground..... and so did his wings. Toshiya's high pitched scream filled the air. Kazu, the Leader of the fighting class in heaven, stormed towards Gackt, Leader of the fighting class in hell.

“You think you can disarm me, Revenge?” In Gackt's hand was the lethal, infamous Longinus spear. The long missed spear which originally belonged to heaven but got lost during the last war.

Kazu disappeared and so did Gackt, their inhuman fighting moves too quick to see and their weapons' sounds filling the air. Meanwhile Toshiya had disappeared to bring back the souls because Mako was miraculously still frozen in mid air---- when a holy voice filled the air.

“Stop this, now.”

Everybody turned around to see two Angels with six wings each floating down to the ground. Two of the Seraphim had come down to earth. All Angels dropped to their knees and remained silent, only Ni~ya’s heartbreaking and painful whimpering could be heart, he was paralyzed by the pain and in and out of consciousness. In that moment, Toshiya reappeared and he stormed towards Ni~ya and lifted him up into his lap, reassuring that everything's gonna be okay. But the truth was far worse.

Seraphim Kai, Angel of Love and Light and Seraphim Kazuki, Angel of Time, walked into the middle of the little battlefield. Their six wings shone of pure energy. That also explained why Mako was still frozen, Kazuki was the only one with such powers. With the wave of one hand, he also froze Gackt and said to Karyu: “Get it.”

Karyu got the Longinus spear and Kazuki lifted the paralyzation from Gackt again. The Demons gathered together around Tsukasa while Kai rushed over to Toshiya whom hold Ni~ya in his arms.

“Kai-“ Toshiya was devastated. He was still shocked from the brutal incident and his hands and body were all over stained with some kind of blood. Kai cared over Ni~ya's head and took his consciousness away. Kai made a sorrowful face and looked up at Toshiya. His gaze meant no good.

Meanwhile, Kazuki was having a word with Tsukasa, Gackt and Yuana. He let Mako go moments ago. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t name ALL OF YOU to the Lord of Darkness!!!!” Kazuki was out of his mind. “Open fire on innocent Angels on natural zone on earth… SPEAK UP!!!”

Tsukasa looked back at the holy Angel. “We don't owe you any kind of explanation. Admit that you are acting against the contract of heaven and hell yourself!”

“Spare me your demonic interrogation tactics! You impulsive old Demon pack harmed an innocent Angel who was no threat to you and believe me, this will have consequences.”

Kai and Toshiya were captured in their own wing healing universe. Together they applied their hand magic on Ni~ya's damaged root chakra on his back, trying to seal the wound and taking the pain away. This wound, as small as it was, could kill an Angel easily. Ni~ya's immortal life hung on a thin threat. “I have to bring him back to heaven.” Kai said and Toshiya nodded exhausted.

Kazuki gestured the three Demons to leave and they really stepped back. It was just Tsukasa who couldn't keep his mouth shut: “This conversation, poultry, is not over yet!” And with a gush of wind the Demon's disappeared.

“…he called us poultry....” Karyu whispered and Kazu poked him into the rips to keep silent.

Kazuki looked at Karyu who hold the spear and said to Kazu: “Please bring the spear back to heaven, to Kamijo.” Karyu handed Kazu the spear and his Leader disappeared.

Kai almost whispered with Toshiya. “We can only ease the pain but his whole nerve system is going to suffer the following days, weeks. He needs a wing healer around the clock until the pain is no more. It’ll be a very hard time for both of them.”

Toshiya nodded. “What about his wings? Will he ever have wings again?”

Kai's look was answer enough. “If humans loose an arm it doesn’t grow back either. I’m sorry Toshiya.” Kai took Toshiya's hand. “So much human emotion and compassion about an Angel who is not even family?”

Karyu's voice answered from behind. “He's like his mother.”

“You bet he is!”

Toshiya turned around in surprise and saw Shinya standing in the distance.

“Shinya!” He shouted out loud but didn't move because of Ni~ya on his lap.

“I will bring him back to heaven, now.” Kai stood up from the ground, carefully lifting Ni~ya up from Toshiya and took him onto his arms.

“Kai-sama.... Ni~ya has no close friends or family I know of and his Guardian Angel…. Well they’re not very close either....”

“What do you want me to do?” Kai asked kindly.

It was a hard decision and made Toshiya swallow a few times before he answered: “Bring him to Hakuei. They know each other. He shall rest at our apartment until he feels better. Hakuei will understand.”

Kai nodded and looked lovingly back at Toshiya. “You know there is a lot of potential and love inside of you. I hope you will be rewarded one day for your kindness.”

Toshiya smiled. “Thank you so much.” Kai looked over at Kazuki and nodded. Together they disappeared and returned to heaven.

Toshiya jolted when he felt tender arms taking him into a hug and a well known smell encircling him. “Shinya.” After all this time. He closed his eyes and Karyu stood with kind of a silly but proud beam next to them. He touched Toshiya’s head and Shinya on his shoulder. “That was great team work today.”

Shinya nodded. “But don’t you dare dragging Toshiya into any more pointless fights!”

Karyu gawked. “Me?! I would never do anything to harm Toshiya.”

“He looked out for me all the time on earth.” Toshiya added.

Shinya looked back at Karyu. “Really? Thank you.”

“Naturally.”

“You know,” Shinya started, “If I hadn’t known you before I could swear that you have changed quite a big deal….”

“Hah! Thanks for the flowers Shin-chan!”

“Oh don’t you start…!”

Karyu smiled but he turned dead serious when he addressed Toshiya. “Soon all protégé will return to heaven, a few months earlier than originally planned.” Toshiya was surprised. “And I will bring you kids back to heaven personally to guarantee for your safety.”

“And I have to leave at any moment.” Shinya kind of panicked. “It was only a very special exception from Metatron for me to come to earth and help those souls.” Shinya touched Toshiya's arms reassuringly. “I will be there when you come back to heaven.”

“That sounds great.”

“I will escort Shinya back to heaven, wait here for me, I will bring you back to your apartment.”

Toshiya nodded and after one last hug, Karyu disappeared together with Shinya.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Karyu made extra sure that everything was all right when he returned Toshiya back safely to his apartment. His dear son was heavily disturbed about what happened earlier. The Demons and then Ni~ya, he sincerely hoped that Ni~ya survived, that his mind would stay strong in the days which were to come. Because loosing your angelic wings was automatically paired up with heavy depressions and the feeling of 'not rightfully belonging into heaven', at least that's what history proved. Karyu remained silent about the fact, that Toshiya asked Kai to return Ni~ya to Hakuei's place. It made him very proud to see his son act so selfless.

There was a certain melancholy in Toshiya's voice when he told Karyu that his protege Kaoru left without a word of goodbye nearly two weeks ago. It unsettled him and not being able to 'feel' or 'communicate' with Kaoru's higher self made Toshiya doubt his powers only more.

Karyu reassured that things like this could happen, Toshiya was still an apprentice after all. He couldn't go perfectly trained into this job, he had to learn on the job... but it comforted him only a little.

  
The following day, it was already midday and Toshiya's day off, Karyu decided to check in on his son just in case and he caught himself watching Toshiya in his sleep. He was so beautiful, slept like a child, not showing the sorrow he was carrying within.

Karyu's gaze wandered over the exquisite interior of the little apartment. Surely not of Toshiya's making, he liked it neat and clean. It literally shouted 'expensive' and seeing Toshiya's few earthly belongings in between, it seemed so out of place, so not belonging there that it was almost comical.

The pair of jeans, the white shirt and sneakers, his working suit and tie..... and then Karyu's gaze stuck on the cream colored box on the table. Curiosity killed the cat and he was DYING to know what was inside..... he shouldn't peak but there wasn't even a second of hesitation. A card lay on top of it and he read it with narrowed eyes. Even without the signature he knew whose handwriting it was. He could feel the energy of it seeping through the card, a special Angel of Revenge-trait, to sniff creature's energies on things. Carefully he lifted the lid and saw that expensive leather jacket. He touched it and closed his eyes. Within seconds he saw Kaoru buying it, Toshiya trying it on in front of a fancy car, him wearing it outside and finally with the feeling of shame lying back into this box.

Karyu opened his eyes. He would kill him. That snobbish bastard of a human who was lusting for his son.

A yawn broke the silence and Toshiya turned around in his bed. Karyu settled himself on a little armchair.

“Good morning beautiful.”

Toshiya blinked dumbfounded but didn't say a word. He stretched himself.

“What do you want to know first? The time? It’s one pm or the amount of people knocking on your door?”

Toshiya blinked and finally murmured. “Who?”

“At first an inhuman visitor with funny dark hair and small body size….”

“Taro.”

“And second was human. Pretty face, bright hair. Must be living here as well because he had slippers on….”

“Sakito.”

“I didn't talk to the human but to the little one.”

“What were you talking about?

“That I will bring you and Ryutaro home tomorrow. This area gets cleansed you know.”

Still sleepy, Toshiya sat up in bed with terrible bed hair. He was still working on the information and all he could think of was.... “What about Kaoru? He hasn't returned yet.”

“Guess you will all watch your protege from heaven. But this area gets shut down, that's priority number one.”

Sometimes destiny settles things you were racking your brains about. Although it was Toshiya's idea to become invisible and watch Kaoru from afar... he didn't like the sudden rush. Next to that he wouldn't have a chance to see him one last time physically. Well, maybe it was better that way.... or not?

“So, what about this Longinus Lance?”

“What about it?”

“Why is it so important?”

“Toshiya, I'm forbidden to talk about it.”

The young Angel gave him a look which said 'as if you would care'.

Karyu rolled his eyes and continued. “Jesus Christ was pierced with the Longinus Lance on the cross. It possesses the power to kill even the strongest inhuman being...”

And Toshiya counted one and one together. “You mean...”

“Yeah, the teleporting being which is about to be reborn. Or at least the prophecies say so. Anyway, it's better in heaven's hands.”

A knock on the door broke their conversation and both knew it was Sakito.

“I better get that.” Toshiya got up and Karyu nodded.

“One last thing,” Karyu looked to the gift box from Kaoru and back at Toshiya, “watch yourself and be conscious about your actions. Trust your instinct with people and in new situations.”

Toshiya narrowed his eyes funnily. “Are you jealous Dad?”

“I'm dead serious Toshiya. And besides.....he’s not as hot as I am.”

Toshiya rolled his eyes.

“See you tomorrow then.”

“Sure.” Toshiya smiled and Karyu touched him on the shoulder before he vanished into thin air.

Shocked about his hair when he passed the mirror, Toshiya opened the door.

“Saki, so sorry to keep you waiting.”

“You're still in bed?”

“Yeah, kind of tired lately.” Toshiya gestured him to come in and he had barely closed the door when Sakito started.

“You know, the strangest thing happened to me yesterday...” Toshiya payed special attention on his part of the story. “For the first time, I fainted in open space. You know, I always had a weak circuit and everything but I found myself surrounded by people, giving me drinks and sweets. I was almost touched by so much attention....”

“But are you all right?” So his magic worked and Sakito forgot about him being there as well.

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course!”

“I will escort you to school, maybe looking after Taro as well.” Toshiya decided and he ran into his bathroom. “Give me ten minutes!”

Sakito smiled and nodded beaten. Now that Ni~ya was gone, Toshiya kind of felt responsible for his good friend. He only hoped that heaven came up with a good substitute until Ni~ya would be well again.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

One terrible night followed the next. Ryutaro hardly slept these days and if he did, memories and scenes played like a never ending movie, again and again. Eaten by his regret of having feelings for two important souls in his life, he thought about the 'what if's' endlessly. He even ceased contact to all people around him and only regret made him go to Toshiya earlier this morning, only to find Karyu there who told him that it was time to return to heaven... like tomorrow. Now Taro had to make a decision because he was running out of time.

After that incident with Tadashi last week, he called in sick and didn't talk to Tadashi either. Not because he didn't care but to give Tadashi and himself time. It wasn't an easy decision but Taro was sure it was the right one. They used to see each other on an average of eight hours a day during art school and talked the rest of the day on their phones while Tadashi was feeding his fishes or when he was cooking.... Taro missed him so much, his voice, his advice, his mistimed comments about daily observations... There was no way he could ever grow tired of him, ever be mad at him. Although Tadashi didn't call either, Taro, naturally, wasn't mad at him. He understood.

Taro couldn't recall when he last laughed or smiled. There was this growing emptiness which he never had before and just imagining their daily jokes, filled him with bitter sweet memories. With Tadashi, everything was beautiful, filled with meaning and warmth... maybe because he was so pure. His soul was just so pure and innocent. He was so unique and totally satisfied with himself and his life.... What a great honor it must be if such a person told you that he loved you.

Taro touched his cheeks and memories of human feelings came into his mind. Things he wouldn’t feel unless he was human again. No heartbeat, no pulse, no heat, no physical joys.... but he recalled it, wanted to feel it again. He would never give up Tadashi, not to any other person. The mere thought of someone else looking after him filled him with jealousy.... what happened here with him? What would become of all his friends?

After more than a week, Taro stood up early, driven by the wish to see and talk to Tadashi again. He was patient for what seemed like a decade and now every minute was too long. The night before he couldn't sleep, searching for the right words. He waited until school was over at Tadashi's favorite place in the park. There was no guarantee that he would show up but he simply had to try. He would wait, come what may.

Taro wore black trousers, a white shirt and a black bow. The matching black coat and small top hat made his outfit perfect. He needed this attire, it gave him security, showed him how he felt, whom he was. A heart-shaped green balloon from the flower shop nearby made his outfit perfect. He bound it around his wrist. Every step he took, the balloon funnily bounced behind him through the air. People of course were looking and most of all the children but Taro didn't care. He was on a highly important mission.

Taro's heart missed a beat when he saw familiar blond hair in the distance. He was there! He really was! Tadashi sat on a bench and drew into his sketch book. Knowing Tadashi on his spiritual level, Taro saw that his energy field was very thin, the vitality not as beaming as it used to be.... the observation nearly killed him. But he was there and seemed physically all right.

The last days, Tadashi thought constantly about Taro. He couldn't recall how he lived before they had met. From day one, they were a team and harmonized perfectly. There was communication without words which was so important to Tadashi and his nature... he couldn't imagine another existing person being able to do so. He loved him, it was as simple as that. God knows he knew it the moment Taro came through the classroom door and asked if he could sit next to him. He was perfect, in every possible way. As was their kiss. Tadashi felt close to faint the moment he tasted Taro's lips and only realized later that he was crying into the kiss.

But he could never be so selfish and bind a young, aspiring person to himself. He, who would probably soon turn into a cripple when his eyesight left him. No, he didn't want Taro's pity or help. It was simply impossible.

Exhausted from everything, Tadashi pulled down his glasses, closed his eyes and massaged his forehead. Without glasses he was almost blind but he knew that since childhood. He put his glasses back on and his gaze stuck on a floating, green, heart-shaped balloon in the distance. It seemed quite odd in these surroundings but when the person underneath came into sight, he stopped breathing.

Out of reflex, Tadashi lay his book and pencil aside and he stood up out of awe, to do Taro the honor. He looked like a Pierrot, it fit him so perfectly. And with hushed breathing, Taro finally came to a halt in front of Tadashi. The blond slightly bent down to greet him. Sheepishly, Taro looked at his shoes rather than Tadashi's face but recalled immediately why he was here. He removed the balloon from his wrist, took Tadashi's arm and knotted it around his wrist instead.

“You must never set the balloon free and take good care of it.” Taro said with a sincere tone but still didn’t look into Tadashi's eyes. As surprised as he was, Tadashi still didn’t say a word because he was too moved and partly still didn't get the whole sense of it.

“Will you take this light and bouncy heart with you and never let it go?”

In slight panic, Tadashi seemed at a loss of words and when he finally cleared his throat, he said:“Only if the heart really wants to be with me.”

“It wants to.” Taro almost whispered and finally looked up into Tadashi's face sheepishly. He stretched out his gloved hand and took Tadashi's hand. The blond cared over Taro's with his thumb.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you…. I never wanted to cause trouble and…” Tadashi stuttered but Taro silenced him. “You never did. Please believe me if I say so. Please trouble me with everything. I want to help you and be with you so please don't send me away.”

Tadashi shook his head in disbelieve. All his good intentions seemed pointless in front of him now. “How can you be so selfless and good... Taro, there was and never will be a time I want to be without you. But you must understand that I can't bind you selfishly to a sick person like me.” His voice became thin because he had to speak against something he really wanted to have and it pained him so so much.

Taro took also his other hand. “You don't understand. It is my wish to be with you. Even if you push me away, I will still follow you. Now, all you can do is to accept me or have a lifetime stalker next to your bedroom window.”

Tadashi laughed out loud and closed his eyes, tears fell onto his shirt. It was heartbreaking. Taro took him into his arms and cared over his back. He leaned forward and kissed Tadashi onto his forehead and finally tenderly onto his lips. It was a salty tasting kiss and Tadashi was shaking so much that Taro was afraid he would faint. He whispered against his lips with closed eyes: “Are you all right?”

“Now I am.” He hold onto Taro's jacket for balance which made the smaller one smile.

“And another thing....” Taro mentioned and Tadashi leaned back to look him down into his face, “Never leave me again for such a long time, I've missed you.”

It was a shy kiss onto Taro's cheek before the blond let go off him and took Taro's hand. It was so much more than simply holding hands, the Angel felt that it was like a shout for help, grasping for the last straw of hope he possibly had. And Taro would never let him go.

Out of habit and partly because Tadashi was too confused from all the ongoing, Taro slung his bag over his shoulder and smiled. Together, they left hand in hand, followed by a bouncy green heart-shaped balloon.


	27. Chapter 27

Song to this chapter:

**10 – The bruised soul**

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJBkYPO67K4&index=10&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJBkYPO67K4&index=10&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 27

_Cruel Angel’s thesis_

 

 

 

Living in heaven became quiet. Or at least it seemed so in the lower spheres of it. With all the Guardian Angel-apprentices left for earth, their seniors had time to look into their own developments, their unfinished tasks. Some of them were busy watching their protege on earth from a save distance in heaven, because they were absolutely forbidden to interfere into their life.

Hakuei was one of these who decided NOT to watch his proteges' every step. He had several reasons why. Firstly: He trusted in Toshiya's abilities and didn't want to become an annoying mother hen to worry about his every step. Secondly: There was no use in watching him because he wasn't allowed to interfere anyway and Thirdly: Out of self-protection. Being cool on the outside didn't mean that he didn't care. But maybe seeing him doing something dangerous would kill Hakuei. So he spared himself the trouble, the sleepless nights.... which were part of his life since _he_ left anyway.

So the last time he saw Toshiya was six months ago when he left.... not that it took his anxiety, not that him acting grown-up and in control showed how he truly felt, it was far from that. Going over to Shinya's and seeing shades of Toshiya in him or talking to him about Toshiya.... it was hard and Hakuei stopped doing it because he didn't want to be a burden and constantly reminded of him.

So the very first news he received from earth was when heavy knocks sounded on Hakuei's door. He jolted behind his book and stormed over to open it, and looked into a pair of warm but shocked eyes which belonged to Seraphim Kai. His visit meant no good and when Hakuei's gaze wandered down to the bundle in his arms, he knew why.

His gaze stuck on a fainted Ni~ya who hung lifeless in Kai's arms. The Seraphim nodded politely and came into Hakuei's apartment while the Guardian Angel still stood glued to his spot. Leaving a long trace of Angel-blood on the floor. Dear Lord!

“There is no time to lose! Quickly Hakuei!”

Hakuei stormed over to his bed where Kai settled the harmed Angel down, onto his stomach. That was when Hakuei saw the whole damage. He sucked in his breath. “Dear God, how-!”

“Later! Give me your hand!” Kai settled next to Ni~ya and so did Hakuei. “I need your energy, mine is almost gone for the day.”

Hakuei, of course, did as he had been told and an unknown feeling of pain and sorrow came over him. Ni~ya's skin was ash-gray and his life energy pulsated around the root chakra on his back. Apart from that it didn't look very good.

It was reflex, when Hakuei brushed the strands out of Ni~ya's face, when he cared over his head and cheek repeatedly.

Kai was concentrating but noticed Hakuei's tenderness in silence. The treatment showed effect and Hakuei felt how his energy slowly left his body, he concentrated on not fainting. An energy-transfer was something very demanding.... and personal too.

“I'm sorry Kai but what's with Ruka?” Hakuei asked suspiciously.

Kai spoke without turning his attention from Ni~ya. “I’m coming straight from Toshiya, he sent me here.”

And his breath stopped for just a moment.... That was the most surprising answer Hakuei could have get. Of course he knew that Ni~ya and Toshiya didn't like each other although Toshiya wasn't supposed to know anything about _their_ past. Well, he was clever enough to suspect SOMETHING but warm-hearted as Toshiya was, he sent Kai to him anyway, knowing that Ni~ya and Ruka didn't get along. An inner joy spread like new energy through Hakuei and he smiled at himself: Toshiya trusted him. Just like he did in return.

“The protégé were ambushed on earth by mighty Demons. Ni~ya was harmed the most.”

“And what about Toshiya?!”

“Safe, he and Ni~ya were very brave. They stood up against the Demons alone before any of us had arrived.”

“And Toshiya is really all right?”

“Oh you can bet on that. Karyu always has his eyes on him.”

“I see. I should really thank him for that.”

Kai gave a reassuring smile before he turned his attention back at Ni~ya. “He needs a lot of love and care right now. I will talk to Ruka later.”

Hakuei nodded and seemed calm while all kind of thoughts raced through his head. What happened down on earth? What's it with the Demons? And how come that circumstances brought him and Ni~ya back together again, although they parted so badly in their last life time? It must be karma and it came at the utmost worst timing ever.

Ni~ya surely wouldn't be very enthusiastic to awake in Hakuei's bed... or maybe he would be? Nevertheless, it could cause quite some confusion on every Angel who's involved. And all just because Toshiya had no idea what happened back then.... Hakuei should have been more honest, more open with Toshiya. The reason why Hakuei never said a word about the past was because he was completely done with it.

“I will look after him but I can’t promise that he will stay.”

“That’s okay. In that case, just call for Ruka and I’m sure that he will get Ni~ya. I will check on you every few hours and if he gets worse, call me immediately, got it?” Kai smiled and pulled back his hand and the energy stream stopped between the three of them. “He should be stable now to rest a few hours.”

They were all exhausted and Hakuei's plan on going to Seraphim Aiji's mental training today was skipped. Kai nodded and was ready to leave when Hakuei's voice hold him back. “Kai-sama….”

Kai paused in front of the door. “Toshiya will make it. He is very strong and very brave. I'm sure heaven will need him and his gifts in the future.”

But why did Hakuei get the feeling that his beloved protege was slowly sliding out of his grasp? He knew that Toshiya was special and talented but he never thought that he could possibly lose him to heaven or anything else. Maybe Hakuei took Toshiya relying on him for too granted, Toshiya needing him for too granted. God he missed him so much, wanted to talk to him so badly, tell him everything that was and never would stand between them.

“I'm sure he will tell you everything when he returns tomorrow.”

Hakuei turned his head back at Kai and looked at him in total bewilderment, speechless.

“You didn't know?” Kai came closer again. “The area Toshiya's living in gets evacuated. All the protege return to heaven to continue their work from a safe distance.”

Now this was big news and Hakuei presumed earlier that he wouldn't see him for another six months. And now, tomorrow? And what about Ni~ya? He desperately had to talk to Toshiya.

“The first night will be agony. I will definitely come back later, probably even stay the night. Let him rest now and call me when he starts whimpering.”

It sounded horrifying but Hakuei nodded and said his thanks while he looked at the hurt Angel without wings. “I will.”

Kai felt that it was Hakuei now who needed a word of love. So he took Hakuei’s hands into his own and looked him in the eyes: “Toshiya trusts you and he knows what you are capable of. You will make it.” How come he always knew what to say? Must be because of his Seraphim nature.

And with a last smile, Kai left the two Angels alone. Hakuei turned around and looked back at the sleeping bundle in his bed. He took a chair and settled himself next to Ni~ya. The young Angel was shaking, making huffed noises now and then as if having a bad dream. It was a natural reflex when Hakuei took Ni~ya's hand and simply hold onto it, gave him the feeling that there was someone there for him. Maybe it was his imagination that the shaking went down a little bit. It became dead silent inside his apartment. One strange noise filled the air though, Hakuei looked up into Ni~ya's sleeping face.

It was the sound of drops falling onto his pillow.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was an emergency meeting inside Kamijo's hall. The three Seraphim stood around him and the Angels of Revenge Kazu and Karyu behind them. The Longinus Spear leaned against Kamijo's throne-like chair and he looked at the spear, heavily thinking with his hand folded in front of his mouth. He knew the reports from all Angels and what he had missed on earth a few hours earlier. It wasn't like they didn't know that hell was building an army.... what really concerned them was that now they didn't even try hiding the fact.

“Lucifer.” Was all Kamijo murmured and Kazuki gestured wildly with his arms.

“Yeah, Sugizo! That arrogant, fallen bastard! He's not even hiding the fact! Wide in the open, like he always did and always will do!”

Kazuki breathed in and out slowly and Kai smiled when he felt Aiji, next to Kazuki, cooling his mood down. For a quick moment, he even hold Kazuki's arm and the spirited Kazuki didn't even pull his arm away. Kai looked back at Kamijo who stood up and walked over to his long table, gesturing the Angels to follow him. They all took a seat.

“If I may say something,” Kai started, “how is it possible that no one from hell interferes, don't you think that's strange?”

Kamijo answered. “We know from Karyu that Sugizo builds up an army because he desires Kirito's throne but there is no guarantee that this is true. Maybe Kirito is involved in all of this and their army is meant for something else... We must also consider that possibility.”

“Like attacking heaven, starting a war out of greed and territorial claims.” Kazu added.

“Fact is”, Kamijo said, “that they want to find the teleporter as well. We all want that creature who is able to wander all spheres.”

“What do we do if we find it? And what if hell finds it first?” Karyu asked.

“Heaven and hell agreed by contract to kill it to avoid quarreling.” Kamijo explained. Karyu and Kazu were stunned, the rest of the Higher Angels knew about it. “BUT.... personally I would say we act on how the moment requires it. Maybe we can talk to that higher developed creature.”

“And if not?” Karyu asked.

“Then you will do a fine job, I'm sure of it.” And Kamijo pointed with his head over to the Longinus spear. “Hell will be quite angry with us, possessing the spear again.”

“For sure. In their hands it was a ticking bomb.” Karyu said.

“And it belongs into heaven.” Kazu added.

Kazuki looked at Kamijo. “Will you talk to Kirito or even Atsushi?”

“I guess I have to. It's a very delicate matter. The following days, I will arrange a meeting up here in heaven.”

The Angels murmured to one and another when Aiji picked up sorrow coming from Kai. The Angel of moods was one who barely talked but he asked the Angels of Revenge: “What happened to the involved Angels on earth?”

Karyu answered. “The two Guardian Angel-apprentices survived. Toshiya is fine but Ni~ya lost his wings through Gackt's attack and is now back in heaven.”

They all knew who Gackt was, the Demon Army's Leader. Aiji absorbed the information pokerfaced but deep inside it hurt him unbelievably because he was one of the most emphatic Angels. Kai whispered to Kazuki and Aiji before he stood up. Kai excused himself from the round table and left Kamijo's hall. He was going back to Ni~ya, trying to heal and bring him back into consciousness.

Kamijo added after the door was closed. “The whole Tokyo-area is in high danger of Demon attacks. The Revenges will bring back all apprentices tomorrow, we are evacuating the city for time unknown. Or at least until negotiations with Kirito are through.” Kamijo was always making business with Kirito because his father left him in charge of hell-business as Kirito was Atsushi's successor.

“And until then?” Kazuki asked.

“I will communicate with hell later,” Kamijo said, “you, Kazuki and Aiji, please visit Ruki and tell him about everything we've discussed right now. And just in case Ruki didn't notice, please make sure that Ni~ya's human gets a substitute Guardian Angel. I will have a word with the Revenge's later because of our own heavenly army.”

Kazuki and Aiji nodded and left the room as well.

“I will call for you later, Karyu and Kazu.” The last Angel's left and Kamijo was all alone in his hall. Well, not entirely alone. He walked over to his throne and took the Longinus spear into his hands. Such a mighty weapon it was.

“Demon Angel, show yourself.”

Reita became visible. The last remaining spy from heaven. Not long ago, Shinya was one of the last two spies but Die blew his cover as he found his soul-mate even in an invisible state.

“Yes, Kamijo-sama.” Reita bent down slightly while his long cloak covered most of his face.

“Any news? From heaven or hell?” Absentminded, Kamijo stared at the spear.

“Nothing new. The Archangels are still going through the Akasha library to find any clues about the prophecy, the rest of the Angel's are quite silent out of fear. And about hell... I haven't heard a thing. I share the same opinion as you though.... We must consider that Kirito maybe knows about the growing Demon army. If Sugizo wants to take the throne? Most likely but what role Kirito plays in all that? I'm still trying to figure that out.”

Kamijo nodded. “Fine. I command you to go down to earth to the Tokyo-area. Catch up on every information you can get and report anything new immediately to me.”

“As you wish.” And Reita disappeared.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Today was the day.

The day to say good bye to their temporary life on earth. In the evening, Karyu would get Toshiya and him but Taro had mixed feelings about it. So many things have changed since he came down to earth and God knows, he didn't want to leave heaven in the first place, especially Aoi. But now, things have changed.... he had to leave Tadashi behind.

Today was the day to make a decision.

And the hardest of it all was to face his own Guardian Angel again, telling Aoi about his future plans. No matter what choice he would make, it would hurt someone eventually. But most of all it hurt himself. The first situation which hurt today was when he had to say 'good bye' to Tadashi earlier. Of course Tadashi had no idea what Taro really was or where he really had to go to but the mere thought of leaving Tadashi's surroundings was just....

Their last moment together played in Taro's head while he was on his way to Toshiya's place.

 

_Flashback_

The sun was unusually warm for the end of November and Taro enjoyed the warm color of light laying on his face. He was at Tadashi's place, insisted on visiting him although Tadashi had an art assignment due to tomorrow but the blond couldn't deny any of Taro's wishes. He was on his balcony, drawing his plants while Taro sat on an old rocking chair in the living room, enjoying the silence broken by Tadashi's pencil strokes.

When Taro entered earlier, he passed Tadashi's bedroom where the green heart shaped balloon was tied to Tadashi’s bed-post. It shouldn't have made him so unbelievably happy.  
Taro looked down at his human looking hands in his lap, barely looking 20 years old, not showing the true age of his immortal soul. His true nature. And it felt like betraying Tadashi, showing him something that he was not. Promising him something that he couldn't give.... a mortal life with him.

“Ne Tadashi?” Taro said out loud and but the blond did not react so Taro continued. “I have to leave Tokyo for some time.”

Now that made Tadashi stop and he looked up through the window glass into the living room. “Where are you going?”

Taro kept on looking at his hands, he had to lie. “Visiting my family…. up north.” At least it was partly true. And Tadashi simply nodded, taking it as given. “When are you coming back?”

Taro had no answer for that because he had no idea how long it would take him to do what he had planned. He opened his mouth but nothing came out of it. All these well rehearsed phrases earlier were gone now.

Tadashi stood up and walked into the living room now, over to Taro whom stretched out his hand and Tadashi took it silently. The young Angel looked up at Tadashi. “There’s some family business I have to attend to. I hope to return right after everything is settled.”

Tadashi, being himself and totally trusting, went down onto his knees in front of Taro and took both of his hands. “Okay. You come back as soon as possible.”

Taro nodded. “I will.” His voice sounded very thin and Tadashi of course got that. He pulled Taro out of his chair, down to the floor with him and he made the shorter man sit with his back leaned against his stomach. Tadashi leaned in close from behind, rested with his upper body on Taro's back and nuzzled into his hair. Taro was surprised how natural it felt, being so close to Tadashi, their bodies making contact, his smell.... it seemed like they knew each other for ages.

They simply enjoyed each others company, when Tadashi broke the silence and said something strange. “Then why do I get the feeling to lose you?”

Taro turned around and released his hands. “What are you saying? You will never lose me okay?” He touched Tadashi's cheek and made him look at him. “No matter what future brings, I'm always with you. Never forget that.” He pulled his face closer and kissed Tadashi onto his lips. Once, twice, to make him believe it. And Taro's touch was hypnotizing, doing strange things to his head and feelings. Right here in his arms, time stood still. Duty and sickness didn't exist in this universe.  
  
The doorbell rang and Tadashi froze for a moment. A quick kiss before he stood up to open the door. It took him a while to return which made Taro lean back to look at the front door. Tadashi returned with a big cardboard box. Suspicious of what was inside, Taro observed Tadashi handling the box very carefully. He put it down onto the floor and opened it slowly.

“What is it Tadashi?”

But he didn't get an answer.

“You’re making it exciting....” Taro already wanted to walk around Tadashi, when he suddenly turned around and hold a small, fluffy, gray, woolen ball in his hands with small blue eyes.

“Meow.”

It was a silent and tender noise which melted Taro's heart right away. “Oh my god!! You can't possibly-!! It is so cute! And so tiny!” The baby cat purred in Tadashi’s hands. He smiled because of Taro's happiness. He handled Taro the little kitten and enjoyed the sight he got. Taro was instantly in love with the kitten. He hold the fragile bundle and cared over it, played with it.

“It’s for you.” Tadashi said simply and sweet.

Taro looked up surprised. “W-what? How? I-I mean, why? Really? Tadashi, I can't possibly.... Well, you ordered me a kitten?” It was odd. It was Tadashi.... and he loved him for it.

Tadashi smiled and nodded. “Yes.”

It was reflex when Taro put the kitten down and hugged Tadashi tightly. Over and over he stammered 'thank you' and kissed him on the cheeks, on his mouth and Tadashi knew that this moment was the happiest in his entire life. Taro made him so happy, just being there with him and sharing his life, he was so happy.

“I know it’s sudden...” Tadashi broke the silence. “But I can't let you go without asking you first.”

“No matter what Tadashi, I say yes.”

Tadashi smiled uneasy. “You don’t even know what...”

“Then ask me.”

He inhaled and let out a deep breath while he kept the kitten from climbing up the chair and hold it in his hands. “Do you think, well but only if you want to and only if you can imagine to...well,” he paused, “do you want to live with me?”

Taro smiled but tried to hide his pain at the same time because of him leaving. Truth was, he so wanted to but how and when? “Yes Tadashi, I want to life with you. But let's talk about it after my return.”

Tadashi smiled and looked at the kitten before he handed it back to Taro. “I'm glad.”

“Thank you, for everything.” It came as a whisper from Taro.

It was like a dream, to both of them. Too good to be true... but they were running out of time, Taro was running out of time. He could hardly part from Tadashi and their kitten, delayed his departure again and again until it was almost too late to return to Toshiya's apartment, where Karyu would be waiting for them.

They called their cat Lisa. Taro carefully declined Tadashi's suggestion of 'Ingrid' or 'Helga' but he was happy with the name too.

It was a hard goodbye, Taro felt that Tadashi must have felt him being uneasy about something too. He hardly let him go, pulled him back twice before he was entirely out of the door. Taro had to promise to message him daily and it broke his heart even more knowing that he wouldn't be able to do so.

Sunken in thoughts, Taro touched his cheek where Tadashi kissed him only minutes before. _'I will always be with you, even when you're gone.'_

_End of Flashback_

 

A deep sight only the night sky heard. Taro dug his hands deeply into his coat pockets and sunk his head into his enormous scarf. He was on his way to Toshiya, his last moments on earth in Angel form..... if Ruki approved of his plan.... and what about Aoi? His sad face and eyes were Taro's constant companion since he lost himself into Tadashi. It was never planned, nor written in his Akasha-Chronicle, that Tadashi 'would happen that way', never. It came as the biggest surprise in centuries. As Aoi once, a long time ago. Taro didn't want to admit it to himself but from experience he knew that kingdoms only fell when it already started to wither from within.

He loved Aoi, part of him always would. But before he knew it, he had moved on. Changed in so many ways in such a short amount of time. He had to let Aoi go and wondered if Aoi already knew. Taro was so nervous of their reunion later.

A strong and cold gust of wind made Taro look up in reflex. He was halfway through the park and lanterns were illuminating the romantic pathway and its dark trees. The Gothic looking metal benches were empty, humans were long at home around this time.... when a dark figure formed in front of him and red eyes looked straight at him. Taro changed into Angel-mode immediately and became invisible for humans, his fragile wings formed on his back. Although the apparition must have been spooky as hell to humans, it radiated something familiar...

“Toshiya.”

He was in full Angel of Death mode with his eyes and voice, he seemed like a stranger. Taro was supposed to meet him at his apartment. Something here was quite strange.

“What's going on?” Taro asked and came closer.

“I can't come with you.” Toshiya simply replied.

“But why? We have to return, it was an order.”

“I know and I'm sorry Taro for putting you into this position but I have to leave, now, quickly.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Go to my apartment, Karyu will be there any minute now. I will come back to heaven as soon as I have finished my task.”

“Which task?”

“I gotta go Taro, Karyu might be on his way. Tell my loved ones that I'm sorry and that I love them.”

“But--!”

Toshiya nodded and with a gust of wind he disappeared. Taken aback, Taro started flying back to Toshiya's apartment. He landed on the skyscraper and ran into the building to Toshiya's apartment. He knocked and a familiar face opened the door. Seeing Taro's alarmed face, Karyu knew immediately that something was wrong. He gestured the young Angel inside and interrogated him. Taro told him everything and Karyu narrowed his eyes.

“He can't be serious... HE CAN'T BE FUCKING SERIOUS! Defying MY orders! Heaven's orders! IN A TIME LIKE THAT!” Karyu was furious because he knew about the consequencecs. Taro slightly shivered in shock from the sudden outburst.

Karyu crossed his arms in front of his chest, thinking about what to do. Taro dared asking. “Do you know which task Toshiya wants to finish?”

Karyu looked from Taro to the present box on Toshiya's table with that cursed message card on top of it. With a loud scream, he shoved the box down from the table. “Of course I know!! It's that damn protege of him! He's on his way to find Kaoru!”

Taro remembered Toshiya telling him about the disappearance of his protege. Now it started to make sense. Imagining Tadashi vanished, he would do anything to find him too. But yet, their relationship was something completely different... well was it? It must be, to Taro Toshiya always seemed like a rabbit around Kaoru was simply intimidating and mighty. But what was it with the box? Taro didn't dare to pick it up or read the card. Also the jacket inside didn't make sense to him... until he remembered Toshiya wearing it occasionally.... and another piece in the jigsaw fit. Was he so blind all this time?

“Taro, listen. I will try to find Toshiya and bring him back. I have to return the two of you into heaven. It's my task. Until then please wait here for us to return...”

“Karyu-san, there is something else. I know that Toshiya is specially gifted but when I talked to him today, he seemed like a stranger...”

“What do you mean?”

“He appeared in front of me like a reaper. With red eyes and a strange voice-”

Karyu hit with his fist against the cupboard and Taro jolted again. Karyu shook his head in disbelieve and with narrowed eyes he murmured at himself. “Well done son! You are as clever as your mother and as stubborn as your father... I should have known!” Karyu looked back at Taro. “We are leaving for heaven, now.”

“Now? I thought you wanted to look for Toshiya-”

“Not a chance. He's an Angel of Death. In this mode he is untraceable. He can only be found....” Karyu stopped and looked into the distance before he continued. “He can only be found by another Angel of Death.”

He took Taro on his arm. “Hold on tight.” And together they disappeared.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Nothing was ever going as planned. Especially not life. No books or karma can tell you what is next. Life and souls change all the time, every second, in every moment. And everybody is its own maker of his personal universe. Toshiya knew that and he also knew that he could find Kaoru.

His head almost burst from all the strange voices in his head. In his Angel of Death mode he was even more sensitive to souls as in his normal angel-state. He felt people dying around him, heard their last thoughts and wishes, their pains.... he flew over hundreds of houses but passed the dying souls. Other Angels of Death were responsible for certain areas.

He landed on another high building out of town, overthinking which direction to take. He knew nothing of Kaoru's whereabouts and none of his employees knew either. His personal bodyguards were missing too and.... Sakito? The last time he saw him was one week ago and he was one of Kaoru's closer employees too. So instead of tuning in on Kaoru's energy, which was out of reach somehow, Toshiya concentrated on Sakito. A picture of him filled his mind, his energy and voice filled his head and a direction formed in his mind.

Toshiya jumped from the roof and flew up north into the mountains, where the voices, pain and suffering in his head became less.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Although only half a year had passed, Taro seemed to have forgotten how bright heaven's light could be. He had just arrived in heaven and walked through the holy halls, passing countless Angels and protege. Karyu left him right at the beginning to report Toshiya's absence. Thirsty for this long missed energy of heaven, Taro recharged in breathing in deeply and looking at the sun, feeling his Angel senses coming fully back. He stretched his wings and in the distance, he made out the long missed features of his former beloved.

Aoi was there, of course he was there. Imagining months before, Taro would have run up to him all in tears and hugged him almost unconscious but now.... things have changed, he had changed. Taro was afraid to stumble, to fall and break into tears.... a hundred different scenarios formed in his mind but he walked towards Aoi with steady steps.

Aoi, being the strong Guardian Angel, didn't show any emotions on his face. He stood there all pokerfaced with a natural expression, waiting for Taro to come to him. And Taro saw in him the Leader he used to be in the desert hundred of years ago.... composed, strong and masculine. He would always love his soul for that.

Taro stopped and for the first time now, he looked Aoi into the face. He didn't dare to explain or say anything because he knew that Aoi _knew_. His Guardian Angel finally broke the silence.

“You became such a wonderful Angel. I'm so proud of you.” And too quick for him to realize, Aoi pulled the younger Angel into his arms and he hugged him tightly. Aoi simply hold onto him and Taro did the same, surprised about his reaction. He breathed in his scent and too many memories came up. Taro teared up and swallowed hard. Aoi was wonderful, always would be but....

Taro leaned back and Aoi looked at him as if he understood but still there was too much pain in his eyes. A pain his mouth and pride would never name.

“Aoi, I need to talk to you. Because I won’t be going back home with you.”

The hardest nod ever from Aoi and Taro could tell that he did his best in being the leading figure. He looked up into the distance, tried to avoid Taro's face and somehow it hurt although it was a logical way to react.

“Then let’s talk.” They walked together into the holy gardens. Being both agitated, they remained standing under a tall tree. Taro breathed in deeply, trying to form a logical sentence.

“I thought about so many things I wanted to tell you but failed because I was afraid to hurt you with every word I would say.” Aoi kept silent and simply listened. “And I know it's a stupid thing to say but I am so afraid to hurt you, I-I'm so sorry...” A sob came through and Aoi understood that it was time to touch Taro on his shoulder. In the moment of utter heartbreak it seemed that it was still him comforting his younger beloved. But Taro continued. “I-I'm sorry for hurting you, for disappointing you.”

Aoi shook his head silently and took Taro into his arms. He hold onto him and tears started flowing. Taro cried against his chest while Aoi allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment. After all his silence, he finally said: “You could never disappoint me. I am so proud. Of who you became, how strong you are... I know that growing often means parting, from situations and old souls. It's just, I never thought that our departing would happen so fast.” He cared over Taro's back and the younger one slowly calmed down. Taro almost whispered against Aoi's chest.

“Thank you, for loving me. For your strength and always being there for me. You made me the soul I am today.”

Aoi kissed him onto his hair. They remained in this hugging position until Taro finally moved back and their arms glided off each other.

“I know what you want.” Aoi said. “To be reborn into a human body, you must go to Ruki, to open a new chapter in your Akasha-Chronicle. You will forget everything about heaven the moment you return to earth. Everything will continue as if you have never left _his_ side.”

Aoi sounded all business but Taro needed to know: “What happens with you? I can’t leave until I know that you’ll be fine.”

“I will be fine. After all, there will be a newborn soul on earth I have to look after.” Aoi winked and Taro smiled. He stepped closer to Aoi and kissed him onto his cheek long. “Thank you. I love you.” He shouldn't have closed his eyes for so long because when he opened them, Taro had vanished.

  
_And the wind blew an aching melody over his immortal skin, his hair ached where the wind pulled on it, and his soul was left behind after such a long time again.... all alone._

  
Ruki lay Taro's Akasha chronicle down onto his desk when the Angel in question knocked on his door. Taro entered and greeted Ruki in awe. The kindel Angel offered Taro a place to sit in front of his desk and he did so. Ruki broke the silence. “Aoi, my old friend, already contacted me.... _Give him a good rebirth_ , he said.” Ruki smiled before he became all business again. “So, do you really want to be reborn as a human?”

“Yes.”

Ruki looked at Taro long before he opened the Akasha chronicle, to read the last chapter of his life as new Guardian Angel on earth. He took his quilt and wrote long sentences onto the next page.

“Do you want me to summarize what’s happening next?”

“Yes please.

“Very well.” Ruki looked at Ryutaro. “You chose out of free will to be reborn for your protégé on earth to guide him as a Guardian in human form. As soon as you are reborn to earth, you will forget everything about heaven, about us, your former lives, everything. But you will remember everything again the moment you die and reenter heaven again. Your Guardian Angel of choice during your lifetime on earth is?”

“Aoi.”

Ruki wrote it down into the book without judging. In such exceptional cases of rebirth, Ruki was absolutely allowed to make remarks if the Guardian Angel of choice didn't fit but he knew Aoi personally so he agreed to it... Although he had doubts.

He continued explaining without looking up and still writing. “You will be reborn in the time in which you left earth. To you it will seem as if you came back from a long journey and life goes it’s natural way.”

“Thank you.”

“I’ll summarize the tasks you have to work on now in your human life.” Ruki concentrated and touched the book pages with his palm. He closed his eyes, strange sings formed on the pages and his eyes fluttered. The he said: “Please give me your hand.”

Taro did so and he closed his eyes in reflex too. Pictures and situations formed in his head, feelings, unfinished tasks... everything he had to work on.

‘Confidence… hope… strength… courage’ Formed in his mind.

Ruki opened his eyes and removed his hand. “That’s what you have to work on in this life. You can make it and if you don’t, it will be carried forward into your next life. Complete as much as you can.”

“I will.”

Ruki turned the book around and lay his quilt next to Taro. “If you agree to the life plan and terms, please sign it.”

Without a doubt, Taro signed it and Ruki took the book after he was done. Ruki smiled at Taro and the young Angel felt how he became sleepy. Ruki walked around the desk and leaned against it next to Taro on the chair. Ruki lay his hand over Taro's eyes. He concentrated with all his strength while he hold the book in the other hand. Slowly he transferred experiences and memories into Taro's Chronicle while he lay a veil over his past lives, preparing him for a human mind.

“Live well and see you soon.” Ruki said and Taro had vanished.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hakuei jolted in his seat when a warm hand touched his shoulder. He opened his eyes sleepily and looked into Kai's lovely smiling face. It was the second night in a row for them, a real nightmare. Ni~ya had screamed and squirmed in pain on Hakuei's bed earlier, blood was still all over his sheets and on his hands. Kai explained that it had something to do with the wing's nerves reacting and dying inside his body.... He spared him further details. All he knew was that the wounds were completely sealed now and Ni~ya in such a deep coma that they assumed him to wake earliest in two days.

The day before, Ruka decided to have a look at his unconscious protege. The cold eyes and stupid remarks made Hakuei wonder how Ruka became a Guardian Angel in the first place but he kept his thoughts to himself. Not for him but for Ni~ya's sake.  
They agreed to keep Ni~ya at Hakuei's place until he would regain consciousness again.

“Is there something I can do for you?” Kai asked but Hakuei shook his head. “You were very strong today. Your strength is remarkable. We managed to seal his wounds after the second day. This is great.”

Hakuei nodded exhausted and forced a smile. “I hope he will be fine.”

A sad smile from Kai which stayed in the room uncommented. “But Toshiya is coming back today!” Kai tried to cheer Hakuei up and it worked. A tired smile and his eyes came back to life. “Finally.” Was all Hakuei said and Kai understood without digging any deeper. He met Toshiya as a wing healer before he went down to earth and could only wonder about his strength and wonderful personality.... and now, after he met and worked with his Guardian Hakuei, it all made sense. They were both strong and independent, together they must be wonderful.

With a knowing smile and a last pat, he was ready to leave for the day but they were interrupted by impatient knocks which came from the entrance door. Hakuei stood up and found Shinya looking back at him heavily disturbed.

“Shinya? What's the matter?”

The fragile Angel looked Hakuei up and down but there was no time to ask any questions. Kai appeared behind him and all Shinya said was. “Toshiya-”

Hakuei didn't waste another second and ran off. Down the staircase and outside of the large apartment castle. Angels were jumping aside but it was still hard avoiding them. He spread his large wings and flew the long way to the holly halls, where the entrance portal to heaven kingdom was. Hakuei landed in a knot of Angels. Guardians with their freshly reunited protege.... it was hard making out familiar faces and it was loud too. He pushed through the crowd into direction portal. Because Karyu was in charge of Toshiya's area and since Hizumi was watching the portal, he counted one and one together. He needed to find Karyu.

A touch on his shoulder and Hakuei turned around to find Shinya right behind him. He gestured Hakuei into another direction and he followed. In the distance, they made out Die's red hair. Next to him his colleague Hizumi with crossed arms. They were talking to each other silently. Next to Hizumi was Karyu who stood there motionless and quiet, which Hakuei boded ill because Toshiya was nowhere to be seen.

The group of Angels finally saw Shinya coming and their eyes knowingly lay on Hakuei. He looked around for Toshiya and when his gaze met Karyu's, the tall Angel shook his head slowly.

“No....” Was all Hakuei whispered in disbelieve and Shinya wanted to get his arm but Hakuei shook him off and ran over to Karyu. He grabbed his shoulders. “Where is he?!”

Karyu looked at the tired face and the blood stained clothes but left it uncommented. “He was gone.”

“Why?! Where is he?! Then why didn't you look for him?! Karyu!!” There was desperation in his voice, the tiredness of the last two days and the pain of crushed hopes.

The Angel of Revenge looked down onto Hakuei's face and got him around the wrists. “Calm down. I will get him. Toshiya ran off because he wanted to finish his task, to find his vanished protege.”

It made no sense to Hakuei. Partly because of his exhaustion and also because he didn't interfere with Toshiya's business on earth. Sure, he watched him now and then but from a safe distance. He trusted Toshiya to do a good job.... until now.

“But it was an order to return to heaven today...” Hakuei tried to explain it to himself and Karyu breathed out loud annoyed. Hakuei slumped down onto his knees in utter disbelieve. He never thought that Toshiya would ever disobey any orders and now he was missing too. It was Shinya and Die who picked him up and Hizumi looked with pity back at Karyu who was typically cold Angel of Revenge in emotional situations.

“I will get Toshiya, you can be sure of that. Now get yourself together and be the Guardian he deserves.”

“Karyu!” Shinya hissed. “Show a little compassion.”

Karyu stepped in front of Shinya and sent Die into high alert. “Don't assume I don't care for my son!”

“Our son!” The auburn beauty corrected which nevertheless stang like a knife into Die's heart. Karyu took Shinya's arm and yanked him away from Hakuei. That was when Die went into fighting mode but Karyu pushed him back. “Listen! I know how to find Toshiya but I will need Shinya's help.”

Karyu, who still hold onto Shinya, turned around to his beloved. “Hizumi? I need you on the borders for the upcoming two days and you Die, better escort Hakuei back to his place. A collapsing Angel is the last thing we need right now.”

“Got it.” Hizumi confirmed who took the whole situation pokerfaced while Die fumed out of jealousy. But he did a good job as a friend and patted Hakuei on the back to comfort him.

“We will contact you as soon as we return from earth.” Karyu said to Hakuei and Shinya looked at the Angel or Revenge in utter surprise. “We are going down to earth? Together? Why?”

“Because only an Angel of Death or Life can find Toshiya now.”

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

Song to this chapter:  
**09 – One green balloon** (Ryutaro & Tadashi Theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyk9-v1KgFo&index=9&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xyk9-v1KgFo&index=9&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

_Quotes in this chapter_ from Plastic Tree song 'kuuhaku no hi' and 'Thirteenth Friday'

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 28

 

**The Ryuutaro and Tadashi Chapter**

 

 

Ryutaro jolted in his sleep. The cold autumn breeze played with the silky black strands of his hair. It felt so intense somehow… as if he had never felt it before or never really paid attention to it. He slowly opened his eyes and observed leaves dancing over the pavement of the train station. He looked to his left and right while he tugged his oversized scarf further up his neck and all over his chin. The wind roared through the tiny little station and he started to freeze on this little wooden bench. There he waited all alone with his luggage for the train to bring him back to Tokyo. Over the weekend he visited his grandmother in northern Japan. The place where he was born, went to kindergarten, school... and today he studied art in Tokyo.

He had a history, a past… wonderful memories but not always easy ones.

The Angels up in heaven did a good job on his reincarnation. He remembered nothing about his spiritual past, the other Angels, nothing. Only the things which mattered on earth now.

… _Tadashi_ …

He was back on earth with a mortal body, feelings and memories. And he was here to fulfil a task

… _looking after Tadashi_ …

He didn't know where the strong urge to look after Tadashi came from but he knew that he would never leave his friend alone... well friend. It would be a lie to say they had an easy start but leaving his best friend behind because of his medical condition... Tadashi was too important for that. They agreed to move in together before Taro's departure. It only felt natural to do so.

Tadashi was born with weak eyes. The doctors told him that he could eventually go blind. No one was able to name a date or a specific time span but for Taro it sounded like hope while Tadashi easily drifted into sadness. He still remembered the moment Tadashi told him about it and in that moment it was clear for Taro to stay with him. There wasn't even a decision to make. The mere imagination of someone else looking after Tadashi, made him feel anxious.

The train arrived and Taro got on the train. Six hours until Tokyo.

It was a tedious drive with rural trains until changing onto the Shinkansen. After seeing his own reflection for four hours in the window, he finally arrived in Tokyo. Tired and hungry, Taro made his was to the subway where it would take him another 45 minutes to arrive at Tadashi's apartment. Before his departure, Tadashi asked him to return to his home and right now that was all he needed.

He missed him. Taro never knew how much he could possibly miss a person but every time he wanted to text Tadashi, he simply didn't because he was afraid of missing him even harder. Of course he would never admit it but his grandmother must have realized something as she always asked him about his absent mind. She was of a loving and dear nature as she mostly raised Taro by herself. She knew about Tadashi too, Taro's close and important friend and she also wanted to meet him one day, as Taro never had any close friends. He always played alone. Other kids thought him to be strange, different… After meeting Tadashi, for the first time in his life he felt understood. Tadashi never questioned him, he took everything that Taro did as a miracle. And so it was the other way around.

Sleepy and exhausted although he was sitting over six hours, Taro stood way back on the platform to keep away from the busy people. His head rolled aside now and then when he closed his eyes. A buzzing in his pocket brought him back to reality and he reached into his coat pocket to get his mobile phone. It was a message from Tadashi. Next to his grandmother and art school he had no other contacts whatsoever.

_When are you coming back?_

_Me and Lisa miss you._

A smile on his cold lips and he imagined Tadashi sitting on his sofa with their little kitten, waiting for him. It was the best feeling in the world.

_Just arrived at Tokyo train station._

_I'm on my way._

Seconds after he sent the message, his mobile phone rang. Taro picked it up.

“Hello?”

“You came back without telling me when! I wanted to pick you up at the station!” Tadashi sounded stressed but in a sweet way.

“I’m sorry. I didn't want to bother you.”

“You never bother me Taro-chan. Go and wait inside the station's east exit, I will be there as quick as possible!”

Tadashi hung up to keep Taro from refusing. So the already sleepy Taro dragged his slow self to their meeting point and he leaned there against the wall with the luggage at his feet. He observed the big station clock and became almost impatient, counting the minutes. He just wanted to get home. But the feeling of someone waiting especially for him was unusual and somehow wonderful.

In the distance and surrounded by countless people, a ridiculously huge fur hat appeared. Tadashi. He stopped and looked around for Taro but couldn’t find him. Taro smiled and his hear jumped in his chest, he literally beamed at Tadashi. It was then that their eyes met and Tadashi jogged over to Taro. It felt awkward to see Tadashi again although they only saw each other last week but it felt like much longer. Taro already wanted to pick his luggage up but Tadashi kept him from doing so in simply hugging him and holding onto him tight. Taro almost drowned in his oversized coat but Tadashi simply nuzzled into that big scarf of him. No one said a word at first and there it was, that long missed scent of Tadashi.

“Thank god you’re back.” Tadashi murmured and Taro found it quite odd. “Of course I’m back.”

A smile while the blond man got something from his pocket. He put a cap onto Taro's unprotected head who touched it wondering.

“What is it?”

“A Panda-cap for you since you’re always feeling cold.” Tadashi already knew him too well although they only met this year. Tadashi was an observer of his surroundings and paid great attention to everything although he didn't always seem that way.

Satisfied to be reunited and Taro wearing his cute new cap, Tadashi picked up Taro's luggage and halted when he felt a quick peck on his cheek with a whispered 'arigatou'. Not getting carried away with it, they headed for the taxi stand. IT was a welcomed ride home and Tadashi's little apartment was warm and cozy lit with little lights.

Hardly inside the apartment, Taro's super-fan number two darted around the corner and he picked up his little cat Lisa, which was a gift from Tadashi before he departed.

“She kept me awake every night.” Tadashi said with a smile while he closed the door.

“I can imagine.” Taro laughed and cuddled the little bundle. He had no time to get his coat off so Tadashi helped him doing so while he balanced the kitten on his arms.

Being hardly able to stay awake, Taro shifted around on the couch with the cat while Tadashi prepared him something warm to eat. The soup was delicious and his frozen limbs filled with warmth, next to the feeling of being 'at home'. It felt wonderful.

They ate together and when Tadashi insisted on washing the dishes alone, Taro felt asleep on the couch. It was a priceless picture, with the cat on top of him. Tadashi hesitated for a moment but he got his camera and took a picture. It was too adorable. Taro was deep asleep and there was something innocent and beautiful about his sleep, Tadashi didn't dare waking him. Instead he got out his sketchbook and started to draw. Taro's features were so soft and peaceful, there was no sorrow or angst in them. To him Taro was pure. In the way he acted in everyday situations, how he was around people or even with him. Deep down Tadashi knew that his fear of Taro might pitying him, was simply not true. He always honestly cared.

After capturing the scenery, Tadashi picked up his beloved effortlessly and carried him over to his bedroom. Sure, they never slept together in any way before so Tadashi would take the couch instead. Taro didn't even wake up when Tadashi covered him with his blanket. Automatically the cat followed and lay at the end of his feet. Ready to take his spot on the couch, Tadashi stopped when he felt his shirt being hold. Taro murmured.

“Where are you going?”

“Living room.” Tadashi answered surprised.

Taro opened his eyes slightly. “Why? Don’t be funny. Come here.” He patted the mattress to his right. It was huge enough for both of them. Maybe a part of Tadashi 'wanted' to sleep on the couch to keep any possible danger out of reach but hearing Taro asking him so sweetly? No one could refuse that.

“I’ll be right there.”

He went into the living room, got the rest of blankets, changed into his long Hello Kitty sleeping T-Shirt and carefully went into bed right next to him.

Taro had no second thoughts whatsoever, he was more asleep than anything else. Still, Taro felt Tadashi's hesitant moves and all he did was reaching out his arm behind him. Tadashi took it and Taro pulled him close to himself, making Tadashi lie against his back and he kept on holding to his arm, pulled it close to his chest. Tadashi was so warm.

“Never go… I missed you.” Taro spoke in his sleep and it made his heart race. He kissed his sleeping beloved onto his hair and closed his eyes when he breathed in deeply.

  
The following morning, Taro woke up to an cold, empty bed. Confused about his surroundings, he recalled the night before and he reached out to the mattress next to him. He opened his eyes and the smell of coffee brought him into reality. Truth was that Tadashi was more than rested and even after observing Taro a whole hour in his sleep, he made him breakfast.

Wordlessly, Taro came out of the bedroom with the worst bed hair ever. He sat down onto the couch and slightly dozed off. Then he got up and stumbled back into the bedroom, only to return with one of the blankets and followed by the cat. Tadashi observed him from the kitchen counter but Taro didn't realize. Taro obviously wasn't a morning person which made him only more adorable. The smell of pancakes and coffee slowly brought Taro back into life.

“Can I get you something else?” Tadashi asked before he settled himself on the floor to the table.

“No thank you. This is wonderful.” Almost whispered and with a cracked voice.

Taro picked up the coffee and thanked for it.

“Ne Taro, I have to go to my new job later. Please stay here as long as you wish. I will be back late in the evening though.”

Taro blinked and for the first time this morning, he looked at Tadashi. “Job? When did you… and where?”

“I got it just after you left for your grandmothers’. It’s a few streets away from here at a video rental shop.”

“Okay.” Ryutaro blinked but Tadashi couldn’t read his mind.

“But?” The blond asked while he pushed his black framed glasses up his nose.

“Will you be going there often?” Taro asked almost sheepishly.

“Three times a week but mostly in the evenings.”

“I see.” Taro sipped his coffee. Did he sound sad?

“I want to earn some extra money.” But Tadashi didn’t give his real motivation away. He wanted to save up some money for his possibly not so happy future.

Taro looked concerned back at him. “But you will have more money if we move in together.”

Tadashi was surprised. “So you didn’t forget?”

“Of course not. I was…!” Taro stopped.

Tadashi waited.

“I was…” The blond still waited for an answer.

“You know…” The cat yawned. “Well….” Taro’s cheeks reddened a little. “I was looking forward to it… it’s not nice to be alone.”

Tadashi moved over on his knees to Taro and simply hugged him tight. “Thank you.”

Taro hugged him back. “For what?”

“For being you.”

Taro smiled because that answer was so Tadashi again.

“You’re very welcome.” Taro kissed him onto his hair and when he wanted to move away slowly, he couldn't move. Taro wondered what was going on with Tadashi. He seemed clingy, even more than ever and he carried something vulnerable with him.

“Tadashi? Is everything all right?” Taro cared over his back.

“Yeah, sure. Sorry.” He moved back. “I just wondered,.... well, when are we moving in together?”

Taro shrugged. “As soon as you want to.” Tadashi’s flat was bigger so Taro would be moving in with him.

“How about tomorrow?”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was late at night when Tadashi finished his shift at the local video rental shop. Humid cold air enclosed him outside the shop when he fished for his cigarettes inside his coat. A deep breath later and he made his way back home. He turned around the corner and almost stumbled over something black, kneeling on the ground and playing with a cat. Startled at first, Tadashi stopped but he reacted on instinct and encircled the bundle, picking Taro up from kneeling and hugged him. A silent snicker came from him when Tadashi nuzzled into his hair.

“I caught myself a Taro.”

Taro turned around and beamed. “Hello.” Tadashi wanted to be mad and God knows he tried to be because earlier today he told Taro not to pick him up late at night, out of safety reasons. Seemed like his well intentions were in vain. Tadashi took Taro's hand silently and they walked back home.

“Taro, you should really stay at home. It’s not that I don't appreciate the effort, it's just.... well, it's getting cold and I'd be really concerned if something ever happens to you.”

“I will be fine.”

Tadashi looked aside at Taro and his face was serious. “Please?”

“Okay.” Taro answered but for Tadashi it was not enough.

“Promise.” It was Tadashi's rare glance of concern which made Taro nod in silence.

After they stopped in front of Tadashi's apartment door, he fumbled for the keys. The entrance was not well lid and he had trouble to find the key hole too. It disturbed him but he tried not to show it. Slowly, Taro could feel that something was not all right. After a little while, he reached over Tadashi's hands and guided Tadashi's key over the key hole. The door finally opened but no one commented on it.

Taro prepared some green tea while Tadashi sat on the couch with their cat. Exhausted from the night, he could barely keep his eyes open but the cat kept him occupied. He startled slightly when his cup was placed in front of him. It still took him time to get used to Taro moving silently like a cat around his apartment. Taro sat down in front of him on the floor and the cat joined him while both sipped on their tea.

“Taro….”

Taro’s heart sank in an instant because of Tadashi's sad tone.

“Hm?”

“I thought about the moving in together… and maybe, no I think, it’s better if you stay at your own place.” He didn’t look at Taro whose face was frozen in shock. It sounded so unreal.

Taro felt his voice starting to tremble. “B-but why? Don’t you like me to?” They have been there before, God knows, countless times.

“I simply can't. I won't allow it.”

That hurt, a lot. Taro had to settle down his cup. Confused, he stood up and walked over to get his things. He took his coat and scarf and Tadashi let him do so. Taro already wanted to put them on but suddenly, he dropped everything to the floor. He walked over to Tadashi and the blond looked at him silently. Taro picked up the cat.

“Well then I might as well take my belongings with me.”

Tadashi nodded but even to him his decision sounded weak. Taro walked to the entrance, settled the cat down into his messenger bag. He returned to the motionless Tadashi in the living room. Wordlessly, he grabbed for Tadashi's arm and yanked him off the couch and dragged him with him to the entrance door where Taro threw Tadashi's coat at him.

“What are you doing?” Tadashi finally asked.

“Getting dressed! If I can't have you here, then I might as well have you at my apartment!” Taro got fully dressed. He picked up the messenger bag and the kitten looked curiously out of it.

“If I leave this apartment now, I will never come back. Is that what you want?”

Tadashi didn't say a word. Torn between his love and logic.

“IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!”

“NO!” Tadashi looked aside and hid his face behind his hair.

Moving could be heard and Taro took Tadashi's face into his hands. “Tadashi, stop making decisions for me! Why do you so desperately try to push me away? I love you! And I don’t care what you think is good for me because I know what is and I will stay at your side, come what may! Understood?”

Tadashi shook his head when he took Taro into his arms. He literally crushed into him and began to sob. He felt ashamed for being so weak, trying to let Taro go but couldn't. Imagining him leaving was horrible but binding him to himself was selfish too.... Tadashi was torn between love and logic. But Taro simply cared over his back. As if everything was all right.

  
_As my voice can’t reach you, I’ll start changing it into a sad song._

Ryutaro moved back an he looked into Tadashi’s tear streamed face…

_Even if the thorns in my heart were to be removed_

… he touched the tears…

_it would still hurt._

…. and kissed them away.

 

Taro finally moved in the following day and it felt so right from the very beginning. It all worked out quite well and two days later they went back to art school together to continue their studies. During the week Tadashi worked three night shifts at the rental shop while Taro painted or waited with their cat at home. It felt like heaven for a short while.

Ryutaro even accompanied Tadashi to his visits at the hospital. Tadashi was always very tensed before the examinations but Taro simply hold his hand until he was called into the room. Most of the time, Taro was present at the examinations too.

This time, the doctor was pleased with Tadashi’s eyes… which meant that although the eye sight got weaker, it went on slower than expected.

“But there is really nothing that can be done?” Taro asked the Doctor while Tadashi sat beside him calm as he always was. The Doctor knew about the two of them being together. If Tadashi hadn’t told him by accident with a red colored face, he would have guessed it anyway.

“Unfortunately not. It is an inborn weakness which is passed down from generations, we can't even perform a laser surgery on that. His eye sight-weakness is growing. I’m really sorry to tell you that.” Ryutaro tightened his grip around Tadashi’s hand. “I understand.”

Tadashi was quite down after every visit at the doctor's. As time went by, Tadashi withdrew from the things he loved to do. He drew less and only occasionally and started to prefer staying inside. Taro knew immediately what was going on and he did his best to encourage Tadashi to do things. Taro, who has never been able to keep his mouth shut, addressed the topic. “You will not get through with this.” Tadashi looked at Taro in surprise. “I won’t tolerate you wasting your talent Tadashi.”

Tadashi knew exactly what Taro was referring to. “But what can I do? My art will be senseless sooner or later….”

“You will keep on fighting until the end Tadashi Hasegawa, you understand?” The blond nodded but more out of courtesy.

“You know… drawing isn’t the only art. We could look for something else for you… something you can do with your hands… something you can feel…” Taro's sight brightened. “How about pottery?”

Tadashi looked uninspired but he tried to imagine it.

“We’ve got courses at our school… please try it Tadashi, for me.”

The blond breathed out. “I will.” And it sent a smile over Ryutaro’s face which made Tadashi a little happier.

Tadashi became more nervous during his night rests. He moved a lot and murmured now and then. It often woke Taro and always he cared over the sleeping man's hair to calm him down again... Taro was his calming down medicine, in every moment of his life. They both knew that and Tadashi loved him even more for that. He couldn't imagine his life with any other person next to him. Tadashi was convinced that no one could help him like Taro did.

The next morning, the telephone rang and Taro inside the shower heard Tadashi answering it. Silence followed and Taro grabbed for his towel in reflex. He opened the door and Tadashi stood in front of it, handling him the phone.

“I-it’s your Grandma.” He tried not to stare. With a blush on both sides, the door closed and Taro answered the call inside the bathroom. His Grandma, who also raised him, was the most loveable woman on earth. Of course she wanted to know how Taro and his 'friend' were doing. She kind of knew about Tadashi's sickness but not how stern it really was. Or maybe she guessed it right, because she wanted to treat the boys. A weekend at their local onsen where she was living. She won tickets and couldn't attend because of her age so she gave it to the boys. A trip to Taro's childhood home was due and they were all very happy about it. It was perfect to brighten both of their minds.

It was one week later when they were on a train up north, passing the most beautiful landscapes. In silence they enjoyed the beautiful view and each others company.

“You know…” Taro started out of the blue while he still looked out of the window. “The last time I was at my grandma's, she told me about her last will.”

Tadashi looked down at Taro in surprise. “You never told me….”

“I didn’t want to burden you…”

“You never could.”

“Well,” Taro continued, “my grandma is quite old. She can hardly move because there is something with her bones and I'm the only one she’s got left. My grandpa died when I was a teenager and since I’m a foster child, there are no siblings. My Grandma has got an old styled country house with a little piece of land with lot’s of trees on it....” Tadashi had an inkling where that was leading to. “It will me mine after she’s gone.”

“I see… but isn’t that great?”

“Sure but I don’t know if I can sell it. I grew up there and she and Grandpa put so much work into it.”

“You don’t have to sell it.”

“But… you see….” It was hard for Taro to explain. “I want to stay with you. But keeping such a house is expensive too.”

“You can rent it to someone else…” Taro looked sad.

“Let's not think about this now. When the time is right, you will know what to do.” Tadashi pulled Taro back to him and rested with his chin on Taro’s head.

The air seemed cleaner here up north and the silence was addictive. Tadashi liked it right away. He couldn't help himself but compare everything he saw with Taro. The small train station, the local supermarket, the old trees and houses.... Taro grew up here. This used to be his life at some point. And now he was in it too.

Tadashi carried their suit case. Taro had packed for both of them the day before because Tadashi was helpless on how to pack or manage anything. They walked up a little stony walk, underneath some old trees and over a long green meadow, when a little wooden house appeared right in front of them.

“So that’s Taro-chan’s home…” Tadashi thought out loud and Taro smiled. “It is.”

In the distance, a little old woman climbed down from the porch and hastily walked up to the two of them.

“Grandma!” Taro waved at her and the old woman smiled.

“My boy!” She shouted with an old husky voice. She took Taro into her arms while Tadashi remained quiet next to them. The old woman touched Taro's face, complaining about his slender appearance when Taro finally had the chance to point at Tadashi next to him.

“Grandma, that’s my friend Tadashi.” The old woman widened here eyes. “Dear God, a Japanese boy with blond hair!”

Tadashi smiled sheepishly. She smiled at him when he formally introduced himself and Taro could tell that she liked him. Tadashi was most of the time an observer but when he talked and people found out about his nature, they naturally loved him.

“May I touch it?” She pointed at Tadashi’s hair and the blond smiled. He bent down a little so that she could reach up.

“So that’s blond Japanese hair…” She murmured and Taro blushed in awkwardness. “Grandma! You make him feel uncomfortable.”

“It’s okay.” Tadashi replied with a smile and after they were done with the procedure, they finally entered the house. It was a beautiful, cozy and traditional country house. Not very big but just right. They passed the little kitchen and the living room with its old Tatami mats. Grandma disappeared in the kitchen to prepare some tea while Taro walked ahead to the end of the corridor. Tadashi followed him and they stopped in front of a wooden ladder which went up to the roof.

“That’s my old room up there, do you want to see it?”

“Sure.”

Taro climbed it up and opened the little hatch. He disappeared and called for Tadashi to come. He found Taro standing in a little squared room with the rooftop ending a meter above his head. Small and neat. Tadashi looked around and saw pictures and paintings hanging on the wall, clearly drawn by little hands with the utmost care.

“How beautiful.”

Taro smiled.

“You must have loved it as a child….”

And he nodded.

“That’s something totally different from Tokyo…”

“Oh well… the size of the room is almost the same.” They both laughed and compared the lack of space. Meanwhile, Taro opened the little wooden cupboard inside the wall and pulled out two futons. He lay them onto the small Tatami floor for the night.

“I’m afraid we have to share this little room during our stay.”

“It’s perfect.” Tadashi said while he tried to occupy his adult thoughts with the tall trees outside on the meadow and the forest behind them.

He was too distracted to realize Taro coming close to him and placing a tender kiss on the edge of his mouth. Tadashi froze and closed his eyes automatically.

“What was that for?” He whispered against Taro’s lips.

“For coming here with me.”

“My pleasure.”

They fell into a moment where the gasps of breath could break the silence, where the sound of a single bird could break the mood. Naturally drawn to each other, their lips met, carefully and tender. Always tender and soft, as if it was the first time. No words were spoken, no hands touched. The sunlight lay surprisingly bright on their eyelids on this cold day, the room smelled of Taro and tatami mats.

The clinging of tea cups downstairs, eyes slowly opening and with a smile, Tadashi took Taro's hand.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
After tea, the young couple made their way to the local onsen, where Taro's grandmother won tickets for.

It was a beautiful, traditional house, far up in the mountains, surrounded by a bamboo forest. It felt like a feast to Taro, although everything was traditionally spare. A room with a low table and a flower at the back of the room, the mere fact that there were in-house yukata, a hot bath tub outside in their private garden and people coming in to adjust the futons, was luxury to him.

“You like it here.” Tadashi couldn't help himself but to notice the beam in Taro's eyes. A smile confirmed it but Taro also enjoyed seeing Tadashi in a yukata for the first time. He could get used to that look. In fact, it suited them both really well.

And he imprinted that silhouette of Tadashi leaning against the wooden sliding door, the sunlight forming shadows on the cloth around his slim body, his world forgotten stare at the little garden outside, it filled him with strange melancholy. Here, in this little village, in this little room, history and fate stood still. The past and the future were not present.  
  
Taro walked over to Tadashi and touched his hand. Like woken from a dream, the blond turned around and looked into Taro's face. “Your hands are cold.” Taro smiled at him. “You know I’m always cold.” He reached up and pulled Tadashi's glasses off.

“I can't see without them.”

“I know.…” He touched his cheeks, his eyelids tenderly, they both hold their breaths. Slowly, Taro moved closer to Tadashi and leaned against him, breathing in his scent while Tadashi wrapped him silently into his arms. Taro loved him for this silent moments, these little gestures of tenderness. Together in utter silence they observed nature while holding onto each other like their personal anchor, observing the sun going down and after vanishing from the sky, Tadashi kissed Taro on the head and motioned him inside. He closed the sliding doors and wanted to walk into the room when arms encircled him from behind. Taro leaned against him and didn't let go of him. Tadashi stopped. Taro was usually cuddly as a cat but today he hardly let go off him. Of course he never minded but the melancholy coming from his beloved was almost palpable.

Tadashi turned around and looked into Taro's watered eyes. “Taro, I'm here.”

“I know.” But he whimpered.

And Tadashi leaned down and kissed him. Once tenderly, then a second time with more force. Taro was limp and will-less to his touches. He wanted to get lost with him, forget everything as long as he was there.

The noises of movements over tatami mats, the cold futon underneath him, the rustling of fabric and impatient hands and yet no one said a word. His strands of hair tickling his face, neck, chest.... his hands and lips everywhere while breaths skipped and cheeks reddened. Their minds were filled with each other, their shared need first seemed clumsy but soon they were in unison.... Mind and body finally united and to them, it couldn't get any better than this. Tears streamed down the younger man's face, kisses on the blond's temples while sweaty arms encircled his back, not letting him go, holding him tight. To finally feel him like that was the last connection they had needed.... and while Taro rested with his hand in Tadashi's hair, a slight sniffle escaped from Tadashi against Taro's throat. Still not believing that he was so lucky to find and be with Taro.

They slept the entire night in each others arms as if their lives depend on each other.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
The gaze with which he observed the sunlight the next morning seemed clearer. Or so it seemed. He felt like he had changed over night, _they_ had changed over night. And it was a good change.

Taro woke up first when he made his way to the bathroom to have a shower.... or so it seemed. He passed the little table in the living room and found well known rubber crums and pencils sprawled all over the table, leaving a sign that Tadashi was here.... Taro smiled and looked at Tadashi's sketch book. Normally he wouldn't look into it without permission but something urged him to have a look. And he found a beautiful drawing of himself in there, sleeping, and sprawled all over the futon, half covered with a blanket and their yukata in between. It was a highly private scenery and the expression on his face seemed.... happy and satisfied. He felt vulnerable just by looking at it. Taro closed the book and continued on his way.

Reentering the room after his shower, he found Tadashi sitting on the futton, with his back at him and looking outside at the garden again. His hair stood up funnily against the sunlight and made him look like a child from behind. Taro tip-toed over to his beloved and enclosed him from behind with his yukata and hugged him. He leaned his with head over Tadashi's shoulder and kissed him on the cheek.

“Ohayou.” Taro kissed him below his ear and Tadashi smiled, turned his head aside. He lifted his arms and hold onto Taro's arms. He closed his eyes and sank back against Taro. All the sorrow Taro felt Tadashi carrying all these weeks seemed forgotten on this far away place, where only they existed. And he didn't say a word, he didn't have to. Everything was understood.

Later that day, they took a stroll through the nearby forest and down into the village. Their arms entwined, Taro told him all these little stories of his childhood he had missed out. It meant a lot to Tadashi. They even got their picture taken at a photographers house in old styled kimonos. Taro was so happy about it that he wanted to frame it for their place.

After one last meal in town, they made their way pack to the inn to get packed and to return to Taro's grandma's place because the next day they had to leave for Tokyo again.

She was impatiently waiting for the two boys to return. With sweets and tea, they had a lovely last evening together and she remembered funny childhood stories of Taro which only one party of them found highly amusing. The pictures were even more adorable. Taro looked like a little doll.

Their last night under grandmother's roof, they behaved as well as could be expected in Taro's old room. All day long pretending to be just 'good friends' was harder than expected. In Tokyo, no one cared although they never exchange romantic gestures in public. Yet, it was hard to read not between the lines in their case. At least, grandmother didn't seem to notice.

But sitting in the train back to Tokyo, Tadashi recalled the last, strange moment he had with grandma while Taro was busy packing. _“You’re a good boy. You are pure and of a fine heart. Please Tadashi-san…,” s_ he took his hands and looked at him sternly, _“please look after Ryutaro when I’m gone.”_

He could only assume what she meant. Or what she maybe guessed right.

On their way back in the train, Taro leaned against Tadashi and the blond wondered about his own childhood. His parents were rich but Tadashi never tried to show it, he even felt to proud to ask for money, that's why he had his part-time job. Taro's Grandparents, were not rich in form of money but when it came to the heart. He remembered waiting impatiently as a teenager to leave his home town in the south to go studying in Tokyo. He'd always loved big cities and the diversion of it but now, being out of all this trouble and in a peaceful house in the countryside, for the first time he felt draw away from all that again. Maybe one day.

Tadashi started. “You’ve got a great home and an even greater Grandma.”

Taro smiled. “I’m glad you liked it, thank you.”

A kiss on the head.

“Could you imagine living in the country one day?”

Tadashi recalled their conversation about Taro inheriting the house one day and he knew where that was leading to. And he was surprised about the answer himself. “Yes, I think so. As long as it's with you, I can life everywhere.”

Taro smiled when he turned around to look at Tadashi: “Same for me.” He took Tadashi's hand and played with it. He did that when he was searching for words. “You see... but don't do anything just because it would make me happy. I couldn't be happy when it makes you unhappy.”

Tadashi enclosed Taro's fumbling hand and looked him in the eyes. “Thank you Taro, I know. And be assured that I always tell you the truth.” He lifted up that small hand and kissed it, before they sunk back against each other for the rest of their journey.

 

Those were the happy days.

 

It was one year later. Taro just came back from art school and was late because he talked to their art teacher about Tadashi. Their teacher was a kind man and he knew about Tadashi's condition. He also knew about them living together and being very close. So because of his caring nature, he became something like a confidant to them.

It was obvious that Tadashi had problems to follow regular lectures and when Taro came to speak with the professor about it, he even recommended them to sign a document of authority, in case Taro had to act in Tadashi's stead. It all sounded so surreal to Taro, the whole thing was so unbelievable but he didn't allow himself to become sad or even to give up. He was strong, for Tadashi, for both of them. Although Tadashi seemed to be the 'tall and cool one', he was in fact the most sensible of them.  
So, when he came home late and searched in his pockets for the keys, Taro paused a moment. His hair covered his eyes and before he turned around the key, he wiped away tears with his sleeve and breathed in deeply a few times. Then there was a bashing sound coming from the inside of their apartment, followed by a few heavy knocks. Now he stormed inside and tossed his belongings aside and there he found Tadashi in a stack of complete mess.

“Tadashi! Are you all right?!” He knelt down and grabbed for Tadashi's arms while the blond hang his head low. He too was crying but didn't say a word. Tadashi knelt in his own mess of the past. Papers. Sketchbooks, pencils and colors were sprawled everywhere.

“No! No...” Taro took him into his arms and hold him tight. The blond tried to fight him off but the attempt was only half-hearted. He sobbed against Taro's chest and it broke his heart too. Taro looked around the destruction and noticed that Tadashi wanted to destroy his work.... how could he? It meant his life to him, to both of them.

“... I-I'm sorry.“ Tadashi tried to speak but sobbed hard in between. To keep himself together, Taro kept silent, he only cared over Tadashi's back.“... y-you s-should have never s-seen this.“

“Yes, I should.” Ryutaro answered with a strange firm voice. He looked around. “You are my life now and you are destroying the art which means everything to me.” Only sobs broke the following silence. “What happened Tadashi?” A touch on his hair.

“I lost sight for colors.”

Taro widened his eyes in shock and his embrace tightened automatically. And the first thing which went through his mind was ' _this is the beginning..._ ' but he said not a word. Sometimes, there was nothing to say. He kissed Tadashi onto his head and realized that the more his sickness advanced, the less Tadashi was able to cope with it.... he couldn't cope with it at all.  
Taro stood up and pulled Tadashi up with him. He sat him down onto the couch and covered his shoulders with a comforter. Then he went into the kitchen and came back with a hot cup of tea for him. On his way through the room, he picked up Tadashi's artwork and the blond observed him numb, holding the cup of tea in his hands.

“Please don’t destroy your art. Keep it for me.”

Tadashi was deeply thinking but he broke the silence when he said. “It’s all yours.... Please, take it all. I won’t look at it any longer. It’s yours. You have always been my inspiration so it belonged to you from the very start.”

How could he be so sweet in his darkest hour? Taro stormed towards him and embraced him and kissed him, again and again. “I will honor it.” Taro whispered and with teary eyes, Tadashi finally fell asleep on Taro's lap.  
Dear God it was so hard. Seeing Tadashi suffer like this. Taro squeezed his fingers into his eyes to keep from crying... no crying now. He looked around at the mess and decided to clean it up right away. Tadashi wouldn't have to wake up to that memory of what had happened. Taro moved Tadashi carefully down from his legs and he started to tidy up the room. He got himself a box from his room and put Tadashi's art into it, saving it for himself. When he passed the bin, he found two old sketchbooks in them. Taro wondered how old they were because he knew Tadashi's recent sketchbooks but these were new to him.

So he took them out and he began to skip through them..... and he couldn’t believe what he saw. Pictures of him, heaps of it. Taro from a distance, apparently many drawings out from a higher angle or the roof top. Even in school sports, daydreaming in the cafeteria.... He couldn’t believe his eyes. These were sketches collected in a long distance of time... they knew each other for about a year until they came together. So all these drawings were made in just within a year? Impossible, he was stalked so hard and never even realized it.  
Taro skipped the pages and found a variety of expressions he never knew to possess. Tadashi was a great drawer and observer, with a few lines he was able to capture a moment, a feeling.... he was so gifted. And it made his heart heavy, realizing what Tadashi and what the world was about to loose in the near future. Again, Taro didn't allow himself to cry and he kept on looking through the books. Another drawing of him, stumbling during school sports... Taro smiled and found it perfectly captured. There another picture of him caring a cat not far away from the school grounds... and on the following page, he stopped.  
Himself, dressed as a Pierrot and holding a heart shaped balloon on a threat in his hands. The drawing was lovely and it warmed his heart. Hundreds of emotions and images overflowed his mind. Memories, feelings but the words were missing. All he remembered was that he was so nervous on that day. Why? He couldn't tell. He marked that day to be their beginning. He turned the page and stopped when he found left overs from the balloon attached at the back of the drawing. Taro hold his hand over his mouth and gasped.... underneath the balloon Tadashi wrote the date... it must have meant so much to him! Why?! Why must he be so lovely?!

Taro put the books into his box and he walked over to the couch and encircled the still sleeping Tadashi with his arms. He cried into Tadashi’s throat and kissed him onto his face many times, waking the blond. Dazed and in utter surprise, Tadashi looked sleepily at Taro who only kissed him onto his mouth and sobbed silently against him. “I love you ... don’t you ever dare thinking about giving up, understand? You got yourself your biggest fan.”

Tadashi pulled Taro up to him, against his stomach. He covered them both with the comforter and kissed Taro from behind against his throat. “I love you too.” And he hold onto Taro as if his life depended on him. He needed Taro, his body and soul always knew it but his pride sometimes told him differently. What Tadashi swore to himself in that very night was, that he would never make Taro cry again. He would be strong for both of them, come what may. Because without him, he was nothing, without motivation or ideas… even if it meant to burden Taro with his future disability, he would stay at his side as long as he wished him to.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was a cold day in spring and Tadashi hold onto Ryutaro’s hand while they walked together to art school. They always did that, firstly because life was too short and secondly, they didn't care about comments or stupid gazes…. In art school no one cared anyway because half of the students were gay anyway. With the beginning of this term, Tadashi took pottery classes, like Taro suggested him to as precaution for his future. Tadashi was skeptical at first but it was more fun than expected and as long as it meant crafting something with his hands, he was happy. Pottery was highly respected at school and throughout Japan itself because it was classified as high art. So of course Taro was very proud that Tadashi joined the club. In his free time, he kept on drawing as well although much less than he used to.

So, Taro saw him to pottery class. “See you for lunch break.” And with a last squeeze of their hands, Taro let go. From inside of the classroom, they heard someone calling for Tadashi. He nodded at Taro and went inside. “Morning Miku-san.” Tadashi's voice trailed off and in the distance Taro made out a young, very small boy with golden dyed hair, pointing at an empty place next to him…. He seemed like an enthusiastic, young freshman and Taro couldn't recall ever having seen him on campus before. Nevertheless, for his taste, this boy was little too enthusiastic.

On his way to class, Taro wondered about the new student called Miku. He was even smaller than him, almost like a child and with the face as cute as a doll. Thoughtfully, Taro lay his bag and art utensils onto his table…. Why did he think so much about that kid anyway? And he pulled out some papers and began to draw.

Maybe it was not too much of a coincidence when Taro seated himself in the glass-wall library, which lay of course just accidentally opposite of the pottery classroom. He waited for Tadashi to join him for lunch break but their class always took longer because of the cleaning afterwards. Finally the door pushed open and students came out... out of habit, Taro waited until the last one came out. Tadashi has never been one of the fastest ones, just like himself.  
And there it was, the familiar puff of blonde-black hair. His gaze brightened up and Taro stood up from his table.... when he saw the doll like creature Miku following Tadashi out of the room. And his beloved stopped, clearly because he has been called. Tadashi turned around and scratched his head when Miku started talking. Tadashi smiled politely and the little boy bowed down many times and so did Tadashi.

Taro sank slowly back onto his chair and observed the situation as if his life was on the line. With narrowed eyes, he was glued to their lips but of course couldn't make out what was spoken. WHATEVER was going on there, it felt strange and he didn't like it one bit. Taro never knew that feeling before and it stabbed into his heart with every second the not shared moment with his beloved lasted longer. The young boy pulled out a piece of paper and naturally, Taro was fuming by now. He handed it to Tadashi, CLEARLY trying to exchange numbers with him. And Tadashi, being nice as always, bowed and took it. Sheepishly, Miku ran back into class and closed the door behind him again. Tadashi on the other hand stood there helplessly, not really getting what had just happened.

Taro was so confused and instead of walking up to Tadashi, he went straight to the park and sat down on the bench where they usually had lunch together. This whole situation was strange to both of them. It has always been just the two of them and now, seeing that youngster clearly smitten by Tadashi.... It made Taro feel numb and furious at the same time. He was too shocked to act but furious like a bull inside. When Tadashi finally approached him, he didn't show it though, He was just speechless. A quick kiss on his cheek made him smile for the split of a second. And it was his face, his smile when he looked at Taro, the way he moved or turned his head at him.... Taro could never be mad with Tadashi. It wasn't his fault for being lovely and gorgeous. Of course other people saw that too. But maybe, maybe it was another reaction he had hoped for. Taro took Tadashi's hand as soon as he was seated. For no special reason, he just needed to feel him.

“I was waiting for you.”

Now Taro felt ashamed for being jealous. “I'm sorry, I just needed some air.”

“Are you all right?”

“Sure.” Taro smiled. “How are you?” And they both knew that the question meant more than that. Taro was referring to the evening before.

“I’m better… thanks to you.” And Tadashi's side gaze full of love was his gift to him.

“Any troubles with your eyes? Can you see clearly despite…” Taro stopped.

“Despite the color I can see you clearly, that’s what counts.”

They still hold hands but Taro didn't dare to ask him about Miku. He didn’t know how to behave because of what he had witnessed earlier... There was nothing in the first place right?

“Taro, you are behaving strange, what is it?”

Taro shook his head. “Just being stupid… I'm just, well... anyway.”

“What?”

“It’s stupid. I just saw you coming out the class room and…”

Tadashi thought about it until he got it. “Aaaah, you mean Miku-san.” And Taro decided that he hated hearing Tadashi saying his name.

“Is he new?”

“Yes, a transfer student. He will stay here half a year. I met him last week and he seems to be all alone. He only talks with me. I think he is very shy.”

Taro couldn’t hold it any longer. “Does he know that you have a boyfriend?”

Tadashi stopped talking and turned his gaze back at Taro who looked sheepishly down onto their hands. And finally, Tadashi got it.

“Taro-chan, are you jealous?” He gave a laugh of disbelieve. “But to answer your question: We are always together, surely he must know.”

“Well maybe he doesn't care about the fact...”

Tadashi shook his head. “But I do and that's what counts.”

A smile. “But you are too kind to everyone. Just make sure to make your point clear if he gets to clingy again.... or I will enroll for a new course this semester.” A sweet pout from Taro and Tadashi half jumped, half leaned playfully against Taro's shoulders. “OhmyGod, you are so sweet when you're jealous!” Tadashi kissed him firmly onto his cheek... and he whispered something against Taro's ear which made the young man blush and he pushed Tadashi playfully back onto his seat. An action which was not unobserved by a pair of prying eyes.

After lunch break and still full of his love and his beautiful eyes, Tadashi returned to class dreamily with a drawing from Taro in his hands. It showed the design for a new cat bowl and they were both very enthusiastic about it.

Tadashi crossed the corridor when he heard rude speaking coming from outside and a known voice answering in distress. Without hesitation, Tadashi stormed outside and saw Miku surrounded by three well-off students who loved to pick on new students. The content however was very rude and personal. Tadashi, who was always unable to tolerate idiocy, stepped in front of Miku who hasn't notice him at first but soon hold onto his arms from behind, trembling.

“Do we have a problem here?” Tadashi asked.

Their leader smirked dirtily back at Tadashi. “So one fag joins the other.... Have you ever thought of leaving and stop pestering the environment with your presence, faggot?”

“Me?” Tadashi asked playfully. “No never. Seems like the tolerance for idiocy is higher than anything else here.”

The guy grabbed Tadashi by the collar and Miku started to scream, when the other two follower pulled the aggressive guy back. “Come on, let's go!”

Of course they were cowards and with one last glare, they pushed Tadashi back and the three of them ran. Tadashi didn't hesitate and pulled Miku back with him into school too. Still trembling, Tadashi checked if Miku was all right.

“I-I'm fine, thanks for your help.” He paused. “You were very brave, no one ever did that for me.”

And Tadashi would have done so for every person in need but now there was this awe in Miku's eyes.

“Try to avoid them in future okay? I can't be everywhere....”

Unspoken words which were as loud as being said. But Miku kept quiet. A nod.

They made their way back to the classroom, when Miku brought Tadashi to a halt in holding one of his sleeves, he almost whispered. “I'm sorry....”

“For what?”

“Because they insulted you.”

“That.... Don’t mind it. Happens.” Tadashi really couldn't care less.

“But I do. They shouldn’t have. It was mean.”

“I’m fine. But thank you. Try to stay out of trouble, will you? Let's go back to class.”

But Miku didn't follow when Tadashi moved to do so. He looked questioning back at the petite man who looked sheepishly down onto his feet, he stuttered. “Tadashi-san.... I wondered if we could... walk to school together…maybe....”

Stiff and taken aback from the openness, he turned around again. Realization set in and Miku covered his face with his hands. “I’m sorry! I know…. Now you’re gonna tell me that your boyfriend won’t like it…. You see, no one speaks to me and…well, I thought....”

Tadashi kept quiet but he smiled at Miku. Somehow he was flattered about the open fondness although it brought him trouble at home. Nevertheless, he knew how Miku felt because not long ago, he was like that boy. Tadashi touched Miku on his shoulder who lowered his hands from his face. “I know how you feel and as hard as every beginning is, you will grow into it. You are a strong and nice person. I will be there for you during school but I can't give you my private life.”

A silent nod. There was no way in saying it nice or more comfortable, a no was always a no. One last smile from Tadashi before they returned to class together in silence.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

“And you helped him?” Taro turned his head to the left and watched Tadashi sitting in the living room while he was busy preparing dinner.

“Sure, poor kid was totally helpless….” Tadashi answered while he drew but Taro couldn't be mad with him. He had the sincerest heart and seeing him engaging in drawing after a long time, made Taro very happy. They both silenced while Tadashi was concentrated in his work. A sudden shift of the air behind him and delicate arms encircled him wordlessly. A pause and the blond leaned into the smell of fresh washed hair, he closed his eyes, felt a kiss against his temple... and then his cheek. In reflex, Tadashi dropped the pencil and held onto the always cold hands. They hold onto each other, almost desperately, as if something wanted to separate them.

There are moments which need no words. And some actions need no explaining. Tadashi's hand reached up and down the delicate body and he slowly pushed Taro down onto the floor next to him, leaning over him. It was need when Taro pulled him down tenderly, kissed him deeply, as if it was their first time. Words of intimacy, giggles... when breathing became harder and skin felt skin. Taro encircled Tadashi's head, feeling his breath against his throat, a magical melody. Their bodies entwined, inseparable, together. They would always be, always.

In a pile of pillows and comforters, they lay on the floor with the kitten in between. Tadashi was sleeping soundlessly with his head on Taro's stomach.... and Taro loved it when he did so. Then he would play with his blond strands, count the moles on his face, observe him breathing slowly. It always seemed like hours but Taro never brought himself to wake Tadashi. He simply looked at him, although he did so with melancholy. Because only in his sleep, Tadashi seemed free. The empty and lost stares added up in Tadashi's daily life and it pained Taro realizing that. Too often, he felt excluded from Tadashi's inner world and he feared to loose him to it completely one day. Not because Tadashi was selfish but because he was selfless and didn't want to burden any living being with anything.  
Taro collapsed playfully over Tadashi's torso and literally hugged him awake, he calmed down when arms encircled him in response. And it was perfect. In this moment, everything was.

It was a phone call the following day which revealed a side of Tadashi's personal life, Taro hadn't known before. Tadashi stiffened with the phone in his hands and his voice changed to an automatic voice without any feelings. The call ended as quickly as it came in and Tadashi explained, that his family insisted on visiting him here in Tokyo. Which bode no good. He hasn't been home in ages and that for good reasons. Tadashi was fidgety, nervous and puzzled which was totally unlike him. Normally, he was the calm and quiet one who looked over Taro and made everything all right.  
Tadashi also excused himself for his family although nothing had really happened yet and it was Taro, who made him stop and took him by his hands.

“Tadashi, what's going on?”

A deep breath and thorough inspection of his feet. “The truth is, I fled to Tokyo for my studies. Me and my family are hardly in contact.”

Taro shook his head in disbelieve. Tadashi was the nicest human being, how could someone dislike him? But the only reason which came into his mind was.... “Do they know.... you know, about us?”

“No. My father and I never got along. He's a business man and I am the no-good-artist.”

Taro bit his lip and tightened his grip on Tadashi's hands. “Then why now?”

“The only thing which ever moved my father was business, I can think of nothing else.” Tadashi hissed. “I have nothing to be proud of Taro. Your little family is so rich and wonderful… mine’s quite the opposite.” And Taro guessed right, that they also knew nothing about his eyes.

Tadashi's sleep was restless that night and naturally Taro woke up with him, every time he tossed and turned. Lying a hand silently on his back or chest often calmed him. But the uneasiness during the day was almost palpable and made Taro nervous too. When the doorbell finally rang, a fierce, old looking man entered without saying anything and Tadashi bowed. An elderly but fine looking woman followed, she at least bowed with a smile at Tadashi. Everything seemed very formal and Taro could tell that they were well off. Her kimono looked expensive and so did the father's elegant suit.

“You’re looking bad. Are you sick?” Were the first words from his father. And Taro knew immediately that there was nothing of Tadashi in this person. His mother touched Tadashi’s cheek and she looked at him. “Indeed, are you well? Do you eat enough?”

“I’m fine mother, thank you.”

Being nervous himself, Taro dropped a pot into the sink and the talking in the corridor stopped. “Are there any guests?” His mother asked and his father looked around the corner suspiciously. Taro in the kitchen, looked at his hands and breathed in and out deeply. They also didn't know about Tadashi living with him. Which hurt at first but considering the circumstances, Taro wasn't mad with Tadashi for not telling them.

“There is someone I’d like you to meet.” Tadashi gestured for the two of them to walk into the living room and he walked into the kitchen to get Taro.

His parents sat down on the couch which seemed kind of alien because they were so very Japanese. In their looks, their behavior, in their thinking. And now they found themselves in this artistic middle sized apartment which was full of art utensils and western devices.... His father of course never approved of Tadashi studying art and his mother believed what her husband believed because she had to. And Taro would never forget the look in their eyes when he turned around the corner of the kitchen and they saw him for the first time.

“Father, mother. May I introduce Arimura Ryutaro-san. He’s my best friend and we’re living together.”

Taro bowed down deeply and said his greetings in the most respectful way. He didn't do it for them but for Tadashi. When his face came up again, he looked into two astonished faces and his father spoke his mind right away.

“I believe to give you enough money for your studies and a respectable living…” What he was referring to, was the fact of two men living together. It was very odd and very unlikely. Nevertheless, Tadashi did a great job and stayed calm. His mother although, looked from Tadashi to Ryutaro who looked at his feet sheepishly and said nothing. She understood immediately what her son tried to say and it seemed that her husband wasn’t far from guessing. She pulled the man on his sleeve to sit down again and luckily, he did so.

“I won’t discuss my friends with you.” Tadashi crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Why did you come?”

“Don’t be this disrespectful!! After all we have done for you!”

Taro could tell that Tadashi was closing up, just like a child. Probably a habit from early days to protect himself.

“But....” The old man breathed in and out loudly. “We came indeed because of the factory inheritance.”

Now that was a really serious subject and definitely not something for strange ears to hear. Taro looked at Tadashi because he so wanted to leave, thought about a dozen excuses to do so but Tadashi hold him back on his arm, when he wanted to stand up to get some tea. Of course his parents saw that.

“And we may discuss that in private, if you don’t mind!” His father became loud and Taro next to Tadashi became smaller and smaller. But Tadashi stood his place, kept calm on the outside although Taro could tell he didn't feel how he may seemed. In that moment, Taro just wanted to hug Tadashi and tell him how proud he was of him, of becoming such a wonderful person despite of being brought up in such a strict home.

A deep breath before Tadashi spoke his mind: “You can discuss anything private together with the two of us because we share everything.”

No words could have put it better and final realization dropped both their faces. Tadashi bit his teeth together while Taro literally stared holes into the floor. Gasps of air, stuttering and ill meant words. His mother tried to calm her husband down after it became too personal but to no avail.

“Tell me that I’m mistaken!” His father didn't want to believe it while his mother seemed to work on the fact in silence.

“You are not. I am not coming home to inherit the family business and I will stay together with Ryutaro until the end of my very days.”

That was a statement well said and it came with a steady voice too. Taro wanted to burst of pride and love but he still didn't move. Tadashi took Taro's sweaty hand into his own to make the awaited outburst even more perfect. His father tried to catch his breath. He was so mad that he couldn't even form words. He looked back at his wife furiously who hold onto his sleeve again.

“Be careful with your heart Dear, sit down. Do you want to listen to your son or scream all the time?” Surprised about Tadashi's mum, Taro looked up at her.

“I’ve heard enough! He has no more right to speak!!!” A pause followed where he seemed to collect his thoughts. “I'm dishonored, we all are!…. and he's our oldest son!!” In disbelieve, he shook his head while the shame was literally rolling off him. Taro's knuckles were all white and Tadashi's mother saw that.

“You’re scaring the poor boy…” She tried to talk sense into the old man but to no avail. From the very beginning it was clear, that there would be no winners today. “Are these your final words?” He asked.

“Yes.” There was a well thought pause before the father continued speaking. “Maybe.... after we all calmed down and you came to your senses, I could arrange something and maybe I will consider you to inherit the family business after all..... If you leave your life here.” Which meant Taro as well of course.

“No. And these are my final words.”

“Well, fine then!! But you must know that you will loose all fortune and support from our side as well! If these are your final words, then we are strangers from this day on!”

Tadashi’s mother was shocked about the expel but Tadashi seemed collected. He took it without any motion or comment. It was his mother who was unsettled now. She looked up to her husband and stood up as well. “Please Dear! I can’t lose my oldest son!”

“You already lost him the day you convinced me to let him go study art!” And he shook off her hand. “The family business and fortune goes over to your younger brother and you...” He pointed at Tadashi, “are not welcome in our house any longer!” Tadashi stepped aside, gesturing that the old man was free to go and not welcome any longer either. Taro, whom was clinging to Tadashi's arm, was close to tears. He wanted to cry for him, he felt miserable for him.

“It is settled then. After you’re done studying, you won’t receive any more money. See where your lousy job brings you.”

These really were his last words before he stormed out the apartment, followed by his wife. His father didn't turn around but his mother did. She hugged her son before she followed her mad husband out of the house. She whispered into his ear. “You will always have a mother, come what may.” She kissed him onto his cheek and Tadashi nodded. She looked at Taro. “Please look after him… he’s always dreaming.” Taro smiled and he bowed politely. “I will.”

The door closed shut and Taro broke down onto the ground. All the tension, all the heavy burden Tadashi carried, lay on his shoulders too. Taro started to cry and with his sleeves he covered his eyes. Tadashi slumped onto his knees and took his beloved into his arms. Taro was done, he was stuttering and excusing himself because he felt guilty for Tadashi loosing his family. Again and again he told him to go after his family but Tadashi simply stayed. There was nowhere else for him to go to. Taro was his home now and has always been.  
Taro hold onto Tadashi desperately, telling him again and again how much he loved him and how they could be so mean because it hurt him so much, listening to all these insults. Tadashi on the other hand saw it coming and now, with everything being said and settled, relieve came over him. Now he was truly free. For Taro, he gladly broke contact to the house which cost him so much strength in his early years already. Taro sobbed against Tadashi's chest. “I-I'm not... worth to loose... a family and a business-”

Tadashi lay his finger onto Taro's mouth. “You are worth everything.” And these were his final words.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
As if things weren't complicated enough, circumstances at art school tightened as well. It was Taro's usual Thursday-pick-up. He always waited in front of the class room to get Tadashi from pottery class and since Miku became an unwillingly topic in Taro's life, Taro became super in time.... just in case. To make his point clear, to stand by his man in any situation. The door opened ans students stormed out, except for the two he waited for.

Tadashi was too naive, always has been but at least Taro knew so he could act accordingly. Miku always found ways to keep him back at his side, to pester him with countless questions and eating out the time of his life. Taro balled his fists and counted internally. Happy laughs filled the classroom and Taro couldn't bear it no longer. He stepped into the door and remained unrecognized in the door frame. Miku was too involved watching Tadashi rescuing his crappy pottery project.... and the gaze he had when he looked at Tadashi, stung into his heart deeply. HE was the only one allowed to look at Tadashi that way! And he damn well should know that.

Taro's bag slumped down to the ground and Miku jolted in his seat while Tadashi turned around relaxed. It must have been the look in Taro's eyes which made Miku smaller in his seat and he damn well knew why Taro looked that way. Tadashi explained with a few last words before he cleaned his hands up and gathered his art supplies together. With a goodbye, he silently followed Taro out the door.

“Taro!” The black haired man walked faster than usual, embracing himself with his own arms, gaze stubbornly ahead. “Taro, wait, please!” Tadashi jogged up to him and turned him around on his shoulder.... but he looked down onto his shoes, avoiding Tadashi's gaze. “Why are you acting like that?”

“WHY?!” Oh no, Taro, thought. He was close to loose it on the street. “Can't you see Tadashi?! That boy is totally into you! And he doesn't care that you are with me! He's testing you every day and me as well!” With tears in his eyes, his gaze shot up to look Tadashi in the eyes. “Your naivety is lovely but at the same time cruel to me! Wake up Tadashi! At least, do it for me!”

Tadashi was speechless about Taro's outburst. But the worst of it, he couldn't even deny it. Not that he encouraged Miku to be like that but maybe he didn't act accordingly. He took Taro into his arms and cared over his back. “I'm sorry,” he whispered at his ear, “now I understand. It's all my fault.”

Taro broke into tears and Tadashi realized how much it must have hurt his beloved. It broke his heart as well to see him so shaken over the fact. All the situations, conversations and unintentional touches from Miku's side, played in front of Tadashi's inner eyes and he understood. He nodded in agreement and took Taro's hand firmly into his. Together, they walked back home.

After having a quiet dinner and a shower, Taro came out the bathroom and into the kitchen. Tadashi was nowhere to be seen, probably being in their bedroom. On the counter stood a little package rapped in newspaper. Being half cat himself or at least Taro liked to think that, he noisily examined the package when he saw his name written on it. He looked around, insecure what to do but decided to open it since his name was written on it anyway. The package was jingling. Slowly he unwrapped it and felt that it had the size of a pottered bowl. And with the last layer gone, he saw that it was the new cat bowl for Lisa in shape of a cat face, lovely painted.... but what really took his breath away was the object which caused the jingling inside.

Slowly, not knowing what to make of it, Taro settled the bowl down onto the counter and a warm laugh from behind him finally made him jolt and turn around. Tadashi leaned against the door frame but now he walked closer to Taro and took the bowl from behind him. On the palm of his hand, he displayed the silver item and showed Taro the silver ring. His mind went blank the moment Tadashi went down onto one knee and Taro stood still in shock. He only ever saw that in movies.

Tadashi took Taro's shaking hand. At first, Tadashi stuttered, trying to remember all the well practiced sentences and meaningful phrases but what he said in the end, was so personal that Taro blushed furiously and his heart beat wildly. He could have asked anything of him and his answer was simply. “Yes, always!” And Tadashi moved up and Taro embraced him so hard that the blond had difficulties breathing. Taro sobbed into Tadashi's neck and kissed him all over until Tadashi finally covered his mouth to kiss him silently. Solving the kiss, Tadashi slipped the ring onto Taro's finger. He wore the same ring as well.

“But we can't get married here in Japan-” Again Tadashi silenced him with his finger on his mouth.

“This is a ceremony only for us. We are married.” He kissed him on his cheek while Taro looked at the lovely cat bowl on the counter. “You proposed out of a cat bowl....”

“I did.”

“It was perfect.” Taro smiled and leaned back into Tadashi's embrace. He whispered at his neck. “I'm sorry for having been such a mess earlier this day.”

“It doesn't matter anymore.”

The following day, it was the same procedure like every day. Taro waited next to the classroom but more calm and collected than ever. He looked at the ring on his hand and for probably the hundredth time, he took it off to look at the engraved message on the inside. Their initials and the date of the day where he approached Tadashi with the green heart shaped balloon, June 21st.... He felt so loved, so special and for nothing on this world he would change his life or trade this ring.

More and more students came out of the classroom, while Tadashi was busy washing his brushes. Of course Miku hasn't left the classroom yet but Taro waited patiently outside. Murmured conversations were going on inside which were finally broken by a jingling noise of something falling down onto the ground. What Taro couldn't see was, that Tadashi had taken off his ring and being clumsy, it fell from the sink down to the ground. It was Miku who reacted quickly and he picked it up. He handed it to Tadashi but not before he saw the engraved message inside. Their eyes met for the split of a second and sudden realization hit him, pained him. Looking into those dark brown eyes.... eyes which he came to admire so much but who would never look at him the same way.

“I'm sorry.” Miku stuttered but it was Tadashi who repeated the same words. “No, I'm sorry. For not telling you where my heart truly lies.” It is not that Miku didn't knew, he just decided to ignore the fact. If it hurt him now, then it was all alone his fault. But Tadashi was so nice to even take that burden off his shoulders. Which was not okay. Stepping back, Miku bowed down politely and left after picking up his belongings without another spoken word. And that was it. This settled things for once and for all.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
In six months from now, they would both graduate from art school. Taro with a degree in painting and Tadashi in pottery and drawing. Every now and then, Tadashi lost himself in melancholy. The fact about his eye sight and financial pressure weighed heavily on his shoulders, especially since he felt responsible for Taro's happiness. He tried not to drown in the thoughts of being a burden for Taro, since his beloved told him on an almost daily basis that he was his life and to always rely on him.

Since their visit to Taro's grandmother's, it was clear that they would move into her house after graduation, into the countryside. And since the little village was kind of a tourist attraction, they decided to craft and sell their art there. They were free of rent since Taro was to inherit the house anyway, which was a most welcome bonus. But one issue was still not loudly spoken about.

“What about your grandmother?” Tadashi asked.

“She will be fine with us moving in. It was her to offer it in the first place.”

An awkward silence which pointed to the fact Tadashi was referring to. Taro blushed and turned his eyes down. “Oh.... OH! I see! Well....I know I have to be more silent.” Now Tadashi blushed as well and he looked down onto his crossed arms and smiled widely.

“I guess you agree that we have to tell her one day?” Tadashi lead on the conversation.

Taro nodded. “We have to wait for an appropriate moment.”

Tadashi nodded knowingly, that for something like that, there would never be an appropriate moment.

The day they had graduated was the day they immediately moved out. They rented a van and Tadashi drove up north while Taro next to him tried to calm down the cat in the cat-transportation-box. Days prior to their moving, Tadashi talked to his mother on the phone and told her about them moving up north. He even gave her their new address, just in case and Taro was glad that Tadashi at least talked to his mum…. Not to mention how long it took Taro to convince Tadashi to call her in the first place. She wasn’t really against them moving away from Tokyo but still not easy with the whole 'topic' altogether. Nevertheless, Tadashi himself seemed more carefree now that their time in Tokyo had come to an end and something new was about to start.

Grandma was so happy to have them both back, she showered them both with tons of food during the whole day. Considerate, as she was, she had prepared two separate bedrooms but they left it uncommented for the time being. Taro closed the paper door to his room and put the distressed cat down onto the floor and opened the cat box to give her some space. Tadashi remained with Grandma on the veranda, sipping the rest of his green tea. The night was warm and humid, the last days of summer. They both felt very at ease with each other. She inhaled deeply. “It’s so nice to have you both back.”

“I’m really sorry for all the inconvenience.” Tadashi bowed down very politely to say his thanks the Japanese way.

“Don’t you start. You’re part of our little family. I’m glad to have you both back. Now this old house becomes lively again!”

Tadashi smiled. “Please ask for help every time you need it.”

She smiled at him and touched his arm lovingly. “You’re such a good boy Tadashi. Thank you.”

Footsteps could be heard from behind them and Taro appeared in large pajamas and tousled hair on the veranda. Tadashi tried to keep his cool, finding his beloved too damn adorable but Grandma was jokingly mad with Taro: “Look at you! This is not how I have raised you! How often have I told you not to get into your pajamas when it's not even time to go to bed.... and in front of guests too.”

“But, Tadashi is no guest.”

Still murmuring to herself, she went inside to get Taro a cup of tea. Vanishing around the corner, Tadashi pulled Taro down onto his lap and kissed him quick but deeply onto his mouth. Startled from the sudden contact, Taro moved away, obviously blushed and crawled down to sit next to Tadashi. “She could see us—“

And he kissed Taro onto the side of his mouth. Shocked, Taro moved away and only moments later, Grandma reappeared on the veranda. Well behaved, Taro took the tea with a 'thank you' and sipped on it innocently. When they later went to bed in their separate rooms, Tadashi said his good night with an unreadable glare. They haven't slept separated in ages and Taro knew about Tadashi sleeping uneasily when he was all alone. It was a terrible lonesome night for both of them. Well except for Taro who slept together with a crazy cat who was yet not used to the new surroundings.

Tadashi unloaded the truck the next day as he insisted in doing it alone and Taro sat down with his Grandma and the tired cat on his lap. It was the way Taro was silent, the long distance stares and glimpses he took of Tadashi.... but something felt terribly sad about it. Grandma asked Taro a few times what was wrong until he finally told her about Tadashi's diagnosis. And he cried silently, just silent enough to not let Tadashi see his weakness.

“He got this horrible diagnosis one and a half years ago… his eyes are getting weaker and weaker until.....” He paused. “It’s only a matter of time.” Another sob and she took Taro's hand.

“Why haven’t you told me earlier?”

“It’s our problem, not yours Grandma.”

“Until now. But we are family. We will stay together.”

Taro gave a breath of laugh. “It’s our turn to help you. Please don’t feel responsible for us. We managed it so far…”

“Don’t be funny. Together we can make it.”

Taro looked at her with reddened eyes and he hugged her tightly, saying ‘thank you’ and kissed her on her cheek. She cared him over his back. When Taro pulled back, he continued. “It won’t be easy. Tadashi often becomes depressed and it gets harder and harder to pull him out again. It takes all my strength.”

His grandma nodded. “In this case he maybe needs some medication.” Taro wanted to retard but he knew that maybe was best.

“How bad is it?” She wanted to know.

“He lost sight of color over half a year ago. Without glasses, he’s almost blind.”

“Good Lord...” She paused. “But let’s hope for the best. There are surely beautiful years to come.”

Later that day, Tadashi and Taro went for a walk together. Through the beautiful countryside down to the little village and back again. It became a habit and they both enjoyed it almost every evening after dinner. And after everybody was asleep, one paper door slid open very quietly. Tadashi managed to sleep alone for three full days until he tip toed out of his little Tatami room up the ladder into Taro’s room.

Taro had no time to turn around because arms encircled him from behind and Tadashi leaned forward to kiss up and down his neck, behind his ears, everywhere. Muffled noises, swallowed gasps of breath. The forbidden environment made him only more sensitive, made everything only more special. And loving him under the full moon light, made him look so fragile, so innocent, young and beautiful. For Tadashi, Taro was holy in all his human being. He drank in the sight of his beautiful lover closing his eyes while his slender arms rested above his head, the black hair sprawled beautifully on the tatami floor, the flushed cheeks and closed eyes.... he swore to never forget that sight. He would life and die with it.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Late at night, they used to separate again and Tadashi did his best to keep his pokerface when they saw each other again at the breakfast table. In utter silence, they sat across Grandma's table and sipped their tea. No one said a word and with narrowed eyes, the old Lady looked from left, tea sipping Tadashi, to the right, slowly blushing Ryutaro and she breathed out loud annoyed.

“So the two of you….”

Tadashi looked up from his cup and so did Taro.

“Why don’t you just admit it for goodness sake!”

Taro looked shocked and Tadashi dumfounded.

“What Grandma?” Taro asked not wanting to believe what she maybe got.

“I can hear the doors opening and closing in my own house…. Especially at night.”

Taro’s face became all red and so did Tadashi’s ears. Okay, she got it. Hesitantly, Tadashi moved up his arm and he took Taro’s hand. “We’re sorry…..” Tadashi paused. “For hiding. I’m really sorry for confronting you with our ‘private life’…” Taro was stiff like wood.

She smiled. “I’m not blind! You’re both beaming around each other. You are connected by soul. I knew it from day one.” They both looked back at the old woman in surprise.

“Wha-?” Taro stuttered, finding his voice again. “Day one?! You mean our first visit….”

“No…” She took a sip from her tea. “From your first phone call I knew it immediately.” They both looked perplex at her but kept on holding their hands.

“You don’t remember? It was your first day at art school and you called me in the evening, saying: ‘Grandma, I’ve met this guy at school and he is very nice and polite. His name is Tadashi.’”

Tadashi beamed in utter happiness when he turned to look at Taro. “You did?” Taro stuttered and looked down onto their hands. “A—ah, I see.”

“I probably knew it even before you did.” She smiled at them. “Don’t hide Love. I grew up in a time where people had to, so don’t.”

“Thank you.” Tadashi said sheepishly.

“There is nothing to thank me for.” She smiled when she gestured the boys to continue with their breakfast. Hesitantly and still in a state of surprise, they continued with their breakfast. It took a load off their minds now that ‘it’ was out and Grandma's reaction was more than great. They moved into Tadashi's room together, even the same day in the back of the house. The view outside the bigger room was fantastic, the little garden abut on the starting forest of the village. Now and the rabbits could be seen and Taro was beyond happy about it.

In utter peace, Taro sat down on their private part of the veranda and skipped through a magazine of art supplies. Sunken in thoughts, he couldn't hear Tadashi approaching from behind but when he heard the wood giving him away, he slowly closed the magazine. A soft breeze and a soothing tone from the hanging wind chime, carried Tadashi's scent.

Taro turned around and looked up at Tadashi’s face. Then he reached up with one hand and pulled Tadashi down. And he kissed him, without a spoken word or invitation. Tadashi was paralyzed at first but he moved down into a sitting position and broke the kiss, just to pull Taro into his lap and kiss his hair from behind. Their hands rested in each others and Taro took off Tadashi's ring to look at the engraving of their initials and the date of their 'balloon day'. Today was the first day they wore the rings together in the house.

“I cannot imagine to never see you again.”

It went like a shot through Taro's heart but he responded as calm as possible. “I will always be there. Nothing is going to change. You know me and I know you.” He felt the nod from behind.

“In your thoughts I will always be young.”

The embrace around Taro's stomach tightened and he could feel Tadashi fighting with tears. It was so hard, for both of them but Taro tried not to show it. “Please Tadashi, don’t cry. Or I will start to cry as well.”

Another kiss against his hair.

“Tadashi, please be strong… for both of us. Together we can make it.”

Tadashi paused and thought a moment about it. “For you, I will exceed myself.”  


  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Ryutaro’s grandmother knew an old potter in the village and when he heard about Tadashi, he decided to teach him further traditional pottery. It was a change in his every day life and Tadashi was overwhelmed. He took the offer gradually.

So every day, he went by foot down into the village to the little traditional wooden house where the old man worked and sold some of his pottery to the people of the village and, most importantly, to the tourists. It wasn't much money that Tadashi earned but since he didn't have to pay any rent, at least he could pay their food with it. Another pleasant side effect was, that it kept Tadashi occupied and made him forget his sorrow a little bit. Tadashi's pottery was lovely and especially famous with the women and children.

At the same time, Taro continued painting but unfortunately it hardly sold…. His art was too…. specific, naive, childish, maybe dreamy. Sometimes it made him sad but nevertheless he stood to his taste. He sold his pictures as post cards and framed pictures at a little art shop in town.

So, one day, Taro was strolling down the street in his Yukata and he had his arm hooked into Tadashi's. They passed a little kimono shop and an old woman and a little girl sat outside on a little bench. Taro and Tadashi greeted the old lady and the little girl and after they had passed, Taro felt something pulling on his sleeve.

“Hello you!” The girl greeted.

Surprised, Taro looked down at the traditional dressed girl who looked just like a doll. “Hello, how are you?”

The girl smiled. “Grandma told me you are the one who paints all these cat pictures and fishes and trees…”

Taro looked surprised and Tadashi smiled. Their arms were still hooked and the girl got both of their attention. “Ahm, yes, that’s me. Do you know my pictures?”

“I saw them at the art shop and I bought the one with the little cat on it.”

A little gesture which filled Taro’s heart with happiness. He knelt down to the girl. “I will paint another one just for you.”

Her face filled with joy. “YAAAY! Will you visit our shop then?”

“I will.” Taro smiled and the little girl jumped back to the old kimono shop.

Taro smiled at himself when they continued their way and Tadashi cared over his arm. Seeing Taro happy made him happy too. So a few days later, Taro returned to the kimono shop with a new framed cat picture under his arm. The little girl was at the kindergarten that moment but he left it nevertheless. So he promised to come back later to visit her.... the old woman stopped him in his tracks.

“I saw your pictures too. They show great fragility and a lot of feeling… I always wondered how they would look like on a kimono.”

It sounded like a dream come true. Taro was thrilled by the very idea and after another ten minutes, they decided to meet again for future plans…. They teamed up for kimono designs and a few times per week, Taro went down into the village to go to work there.

His grandmother was so proud of the boys. She loved having them and their cat around, it was a lovely life they led.... until Tadashi's eyes became worse again.

  
It was one year later.

One morning, Taro jolted in his sleep from a sudden loud noise. He sat up on his futon and tried to make out what happened. Across the room, he saw that Tadashi had stumbled over the little chair which stood in his way out. He hold onto his knee and cursed silently. Not only had he lost sight of colors years ago, now it started to get blurry too… even with glasses on. It bode no good and deep down Tadashi knew it. He looked around the room but couldn’t find his glasses, he lost them during his fall.

“Tadashi!” Taro stood up from the futon and knelt next to Tadashi who sat on the floor, he stuttered. “T-taro… I can’t find my glasses it’s all so blurry… I…”

“It's okay.” Taro cared over Tadashi’s back and guided him back to the futon. He made the blond to sit down and he looked across the room and found the glasses. Fact was, that the room wasn't too dark either. Concerned, Taro knelt in front of Tadashi and he carefully put the glasses onto his beloved.

“Taro?” Tadashi asked when the silence started to say more than words. He stretched out his arms and felt for Taro's face. It was clumsy.

Taking a deep breath, Taro asked. “Tadashi what do you see?”

“It’s still kind of dark, I can only see shallow outlines and slight features.”

Taro closed his eyes and slightly turned his head away. It felt like cold hands gripping his throat and choking the breath out of him. He knew that this day was about to come but still he couldn't possibly prepare for it. He took Tadashi's hands into his.

“What’s the matter? Taro?”

It took all of his courage to answer that simple question.

“It’s morning Tadashi.”

“Morning? But....” And he got it. Taro moved forward and took Tadashi into his arms. He hold him tight, just hold onto him, afraid that he could fall apart, break into pieces. It was Taro who started to sob, Tadashi was too shocked for any reaction. Taro cried into Tadashi's shoulder:

“It’s bright outside Tadashi! Goddamn it!”

Tadashi pulled his glasses down, rubbed his eyes, widened them to make sure… but it was no use. The world was gray and blurry with slight features. He stopped breathing for a moment, taking in this surreal situation of siting on his futon and Taro crying on his shoulder while the world around him was simply not there. Finally, Tadashi sunk with his head onto Taro's shoulder and he hugged Taro back, cared over his beloved's back as if it could save him from any further harm.

The same day, the doctor came over and he left some sedative for Tadashi to calm down. Not that he wasn't calm, Tadashi was usually too calm from the outside but Taro knew how he felt and thought. He was very emotional but hardly showed it, Tadashi thought about a lot during the day and night and sometimes he needed something to calm his head down. That ticking machine which never stops working, working, working....

From the outside, Tadashi was in a shock so Taro didn't leave his side alone for longer than necessary. Also because he had to navigate him around the house on his arm. It broke Taro's heart but he tried not to show any weakness.

He observed Tadashi in his sleep. Fact was that his beloved didn't fall asleep until Taro hold onto his hand. He cared over it, his hair, his cheek and thought about what to say, how to react when Tadashi woke up from his nap.... All this was so not fair. Why the kindest person on earth? Why him? There was so much evil in this world… did God despise them? For being what they are? It was ridiculous. All this thinking made Taro sick too.

His grandmother came in and she put down a bowl of soup. Taro shook with his head but she insisted on him drinking something warm. She touched Taro’s shoulder.

“We will both be there for him. Now it’s important that we are strong for him.” Taro nodded and thanked her. He knew that. After drinking his soup, Taro crawled under their bed cover as well and he hold onto Tadashi from behind, warming his back, falling asleep with the smell of his hair. Droplets landed on the pillow and his clutch tightened. Afraid, that he lost his Tadashi forever.

During the night, there was hardly any rest, Taro himself woke up several times to check on Tadashi, who nervously tossed in his sleep now and then. It was nerve-wracking for both of them. After giving Tadashi some of his sedatives, he at least managed to sleep peacefully until the next morning.... then _Dejavu_.... again a loud noise and Taro sat up on his futon.

Tadashi just 'found' the door with his foot and before he was able to open it, he felt arms encircling him from behind and a head leaning against his shoulder. Tadashi touched Taro's arms and rested in this embrace.

“I’m sorry I woke you.”

Taro shook his head. “Never apologize for something like that.... how are you?”

A moment of silence before Tadashi spoke. “I can feel your pain Taro and it's harder for me than this burden I have to life with. In my mind, I tried to get used to the fact a long time ago.” A moment of silence but they didn't move. “I will be fine. As long as you are with me.”

Taro kissed him onto his hair. “Always..... Can I get you something?”

Tadashi shook his head. “No, thank you. I have to get used to this on my own.”

And they made new memories. Taro tried not to observe Tadashi getting used to the house by touching his way around the halls, or him sitting on the veranda with the cat on his lap and enjoying the rays of sun on his face. After a while Taro realized that Tadashi must have 'known' that he was being watched but he never said a word about it.

  
Of course the hard times came. Tadashi had the first break down after three weeks. He was so deeply depressed and hated everything that even Taro’s grandma got involved. His feelings changed from hard crying, over being utterly depressed on to being angry, mostly about himself which was totally stupid and harmful at the same time.  
Usually, his mood stabilized when Taro took him for a walk or sat outside with him and the cat on the veranda. They tried to abstract Tadashi with easy work and sometimes it helped. After a break from his pottery for several months, he even wanted to start doing pottery again. Taro was overjoyed and accompanied him down into the village every time and fetched him again. His first attempts were no good and he knew that but from time to time, Tadashi became better. His focus from 'seeing' changed to 'feeling' and he even sensed moods and people's thoughts quicker than usual people.

Taro on the other hand was currently out of work. He told Tadashi that the kimono maker had no more money to pay him but the truth was that he quit because of Tadashi. Maybe he would return to the shop after Tadashi’s mood was stable again. It wasn’t much money they earned with Tadashi's pottery but it was enough to survive which was good.  
Now and then, when they sat together on the veranda, waiting for the sun to go down… Taro took a glimpse of Tadashi’s face from the side, observed him looking into the sunset. By the way he looked, no one ever guessed that Tadashi couldn't see it. Maybe because he was able to see at some point. Very soon, Taro realized what kind of change their relationship went through. Feeling the other somehow became more intense. Tadashi knew immediately when Taro or his grandma didn’t feel well, he turned his head when Taro’s silently smiled… he ‘felt’ Taro’s doing things and he reacted accordingly. Somehow it was wonderful and sad at the same time.

“You’re staring at me…” Tadashi said without moving his head. Taro widened his eyes in surprise. “You’re observing me from the inside! Now I’m feeling ashamed!” Taro hid his face with his hands and Tadashi smiled and he reached for Taro’s hands. He pulled him close to him and made him sit on his lap. Tadashi leaned with his chin on Taro’s shoulder.

“You still smell the same.” Tadashi murmured.

“I am still the same. Are you, Tadashi?”

The blond thought a moment about it. “Hm, I don’t know… we all change.”

“We made new experiences.” Taro added.

“Yes.”

“You always know what I’m thinking and doing… sometimes it’s creepy.”

Tadashi smiled. “Hn, it's good for me.”

“Not good for me! I can’t hide anything from you!” Taro clasped Tadashi playfully on his hand.

“How do you actually ‘see’ the sunset Tadashi? Is it all black?”

Tadashi shook his head. “Not pitch black. It’s all red. When you’re looking with closed eyes against light, it’s all red for you too.”

“I see.”

“How are you today?” Taro asked all of a sudden.

“Today it’s normal. Why?”

“Well… I just wondered. Do you want to call your mum at some point?”

Tadashi moved back from Taro's shoulder. “Why should I?”

“She's your mom. She told you that you can count on her… Don’t you think it would only be fair to mention how you’re doing?”

Tadashi shook his head. “It wouldn’t make any difference.”

“Tadashi… I never knew my real mum and I would have done anything to meet her at least once but she died before I was able to see her…. You don’t hate your parents. I know it. You are too kind to hate.”

Maybe indifferent, at least towards his Dad, Tadashi thought but he said nothing. He thought about Taro's words. “Maybe you’re right. But not now Taro. When the time is right, then maybe.”

Taro moved around and kissed Tadashi quickly on his lips. Tadashi touched Taro’s hair and cared through it. “You’re still having the same hairstyle.”

“Of course.”

“Please don’t change it. It’s my all time favorite.”

Taro smiled and nodded. Tadashi himself still insisted on dyeing his hair blond. It was his favorite color and Taro happily obliged. He loved him with that hair anyway. That’s how he met him.

 

The other great break down came seven months afterward.

  
Tadashi, he and Taro were 35 years old now, started to seal himself from the outside. First it seemed like one of his usual break downs and although they tried their best to distract Tadashi from his own ruining self… it couldn’t be helped. Taro became mad himself for not being able to help. Seeing his beloved becoming more and more catatonic and lifeless, it hurt him so much. He and his grandma went to the doctor and the doctor visited them at home since Tadashi insisted to stay at home… It wasn’t unusual for newly blind people to become heavily depressed.

For Taro it was the hardest thing to solve medicine into Tadashi’s drinks to get his mood up again. And maybe Tadashi realized his mood changes but he was polite enough not to question it. He knew it himself, that this kind of behavior wasn’t any good either. But he tried to work hard on it and himself.  
  
His mother came by to visit him one year later.

It was Taro who had finally called her and Tadashi was shocked when he heard her voice in the corridor. She started to cry when she saw her boy sitting there in the living room. She stormed inside and took her son into her arms. Tadashi first hesitated but then he encircled her as well and hugged her. Somehow it was good to feel his mother after such a long time. The last time they saw each other was in Tokyo when they had this big argument with his father.

“I’m so glad to see you Tadashi. You’re looking good. Like always.”

“Thanks to Taro and Grandma.” The two of them stood in the doorway and smiled. The woman looked up. “Thank you for caring for my boy so dearly. If it pleases you, I will happily care for my son and take him home with me.”

Taro almost lost it. “That's impossible! We belong together, I can’t life without him!” He almost screamed and it made Tadashi feel proud and strong at the same time. His mother had utter surprise written all over her face, she simply nodded.

“This is the boys' home….” His grandma added. “They will inherit the house.”

Tadashi’s mom dried her tears. “I see. And it’s such a lovely place.” She moved away from Tadashi and bent down very deeply in front of them. “Thank you for all your care and help.”

“Please.” Grandma gestured her to move up. “Let’s have a cup of tea together.

During their tea and conversation, Tadashi sat next to his mum and Taro next to his grandma. She told him about his brother and father and it seemed that his father still hold onto his believes which was no surprise to Tadashi. He promised to call his brother though because his younger brother really missed him. Tadashi's mother stayed over night because of the long way home. She promised to visit again with his little brother and then she was gone. What Tadashi didn’t know was, that she sent money after her visit, every month for Tadashi’s expenses. She insisted and for Taro it was almost embarrassing to take it. Grandma had to promise her not to tell him about it. He would be too proud to take it. They had a family business at home so it was his share anyway.

Another great shock came when Lisa the cat disappeared one month later and never returned.

Devastation was an understatement. Taro was completely broken. Not only did he love his cat very much, she also carried a lot of meaning for him too. She was Tadashi’s gift to Taro when they first moved in together in Tokyo. She was such a lovely cat, the best one. It took all of Tadashi’s ability to cheer or distract Taro from his grief…. Again the younger one cried every night and was speechless during the day. For Tadashi, it was even harder because he sensed feelings before everyone else did. Three weeks after the cat's disappearance, he clutched Taro’s hand tightly while they walked over a large filed.

“Taro…” Tadashi literally felt Taro hanging his head low. “Lisa had a long and happy life with us…”

“I know but it was still too early…” He paused.

“Yes it was. But what about another cat? Let’s get one together…”

Taro shook his head. Tadashi knew it. It was still too early. It couldn't be helped. Taro still grieved and only time was able to heal him.

“It was our cat…”

“I know.” Oh how well did he know that. Taro repeated these words for weeks now.

“We will be united again one day.”

Taro looked at Tadashi. “Do you believe that?” The blond nodded.

“Then, will we meet as well?”

Silence before an answer came. “Of course. We will see each other again…. And I will be able to ‘see’ you again…” It carried too much meaning which made Taro only more sad. “Don't be sad Taro. Later, let’s have a bath together.” Taro nodded.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
Taro’s grandma started to feel ill when both of them turned 39. Taro was very worried about her because she was usually a very tough person. Standing up early in the morning, doing all her chords herself… The illness she carried seemed to slow her down, made her weak from the inside. It was hard to watch and the thought of it unbearable. She was the only mother he ever had. Taro couldn’t stand the thought of loosing her too. He panicked about the thought of being alone with Tadashi in this huge house.

She fell asleep the same winter and never woke up again. It was the same time Tadashi started to complain about strong headaches. Live was a complete mess. Taro just worked and functioned without thinking. He worked his pain of loss away, wanted to be strong for Tadashi, his only family now. Tadashi’s mom must have heard from Tadashi about Grandma’s death and she helped from afar with the funeral. Making telephone calls, she even insisted to pay for the funeral which was very generous. Somehow it felt like a compensation for the whole trouble they had caused in the past and Tadashi and Taro took their help after some persuasion gratefully.

Everything played like a black and white film in Taro's world: The funeral, the few remaining friends from the village, the Buddhist priest singing his verses... and during the whole time, Taro couldn't say a word. He was in a state of shock. It was Tadashi who held him up, gave him strength did the talking and thanking for the condolences, arranged everything via telephone. Taro only did the walking. It wasn't rare for them to remind people that Tadashi was actually blind since he acted like a 'normal' working person and people treated him that way.

They hold each other up, were each others strength.

But Tadashi's healthy changed slowly, with each month. Sometimes, everything seemed normal and Tadashi was able to do pottery and easy chords but sometimes he was barely able to move, laying in a completely darkened place because of his headaches.  
The intervals in between these 'good' and 'bad' times became shorter and shorter and after a lot of talking from Taro and finally Tadashi's insight, they went to a special hospital in the closest, bigger town. The check took almost all day. They did a full body check and concentrated especially on the head. They promised the results two days later but there was no call. On the third day, Taro called them only to get the information that a special unit was double-checking on the x-rays. He was sick to his stomach after he ended the phone call.... something was not all right. He was close to faint and barely able to sit on the kitchen chair... he didn't know for how long he sat there, seeing the sun changing to the moon while Tadashi was taking a long nap.

The next day, the long awaited call came. The tumor underneath Tadashi’s front brain was half a fist big. Taro dropped the phone in shock and stared at the wooden wall as if he was expecting an answer from it. All his fears pressed down on him at once. The doctor on the phone repeatedly called out for Ryutaro… still shocked he picked up the phone again and just listened. The doctor said something about surgery…. dangerous… most likely brain damage….

In that moment, Taro felt like everything for him was over. The last rays of hope, dead, killed, gone. In that moment, Tadashi entered and he saw the state of shock Taro was in. Controlled, he took the phone from Taro's hand and answered it. He nodded and said yes, yes, yes, as if they were talking about the weather. Tadashi steadied himself during the call when Taro started to lean onto his side and became heavier and heavier. He clutched onto Tadashi's arm tightly and buried his face in his shoulder. Tadashi listened patiently to the doctors explanations and it seemed like he took the news better than Taro did... maybe, it wasn't a big surprise to him either. When he ended the call, he took Taro into his arms and hold him tight. He nuzzled into his hair.

“I knew it Taro, that there was something completely wrong but I didn't want to see it. Now, knowing the facts, it's like this burden lifted from myself.”

Everything made sense now, the loss of his eye sight, the heavy headaches.... and the consequences were rather dark. But Tadashi didn't talk about it. For him, it was out of the question to become a nursing case for Taro, this he swore to himself so he decided to go against the surgery. As crazy as it seemed but he was more concerned about Taro's health and well-being than his own. He knew that all the circumstances were too heavy on Taro's shoulders, he couldn't possibly burden him with any more details.

The nights were warm and sticky. Simply for the reason that Taro didn't let go of Tadashi. He was all over and around him, some kind of body part always touched Tadashi, felt his skin, his breath, his scent. Taro became speechless and Tadashi didn't dare to put 'things' into words. All he did was being there for Taro, the way he needed him to. Since that phone call, their roles had changed again. First Taro was his helping hand, now it was Tadashi. It was surely a big help that he could navigate through the house as if he was still able to see.  
  
And Tadashi could see it in his head, remembered everything so clearly. How Taro picked out a Yukata for him every morning, dressed him, combed and styled his hair, they eating breakfast together, their walks in the garden. The headaches came and left again. Sometimes they lasted for days, sometimes Tadashi had none. They were totally unpredictable and so was their lasting. It was nerve-wracking and Taro often started to panic. It was Tadashi who had to calm him down. Often, they lay in total darkness on the futon together, Taro never left him.

One year long, Tadashi seemed to be able to cope with the situations. The medicine sometimes helped to make the pain bearable. But after some time, he realized that the medicine lost its effect and the headaches returned regularly. He so wanted to be strong for Taro but there were days when he had to spent the whole day alone in complete darkness in his room. It was hard to sent Taro out of the room but he had to for both of their sakes and sanity.

It was a beautiful and warm autumn day when Taro had to buy some food and medicine in the village. He hated to leave Tadashi alone but he really had to fetch this pain killers and some food.

“You go and do whatever you need to do.” Tadashi assured Taro. “I will rest a little bit.”

“Are you sure? You okay?” Taro touched Tadashi’s forehead and his cheek. The blond nodded. He was tired anyway.

“I will lay down and sleep a little bit.”

Taro nodded. “I will be back soon.” He waited. “Kiss?”

Tadashi touched Taro’s face and kissed him onto his mouth twice before he tousled through the dark hair, making Taro smile for a moment. Then he lay down onto the futon and Taro covered him with the blanket. A quick kiss on Tadashi’s cheek before he stormed out the room, to get his things and finally out onto the street.

“See you later!”

“See you!”

Tadashi closed his eyes. There was this stinging since early morning and he had trouble hiding it from Taro. He hoped that the painkillers and more sleep would help to overcome this day. He massaged his forehead, pressed his fingers into his eyes…. this goddamn pain… the pain shot through his scull and he moaned out loud. Why the head? Why the damn head?! It was so painful! Tadashi rolled aside. The pain pumped in rhythm to his heart, Tadashi tried to calm his heart somehow but with no use. Another gush of pain and it felt even deeper than the one before. It seemed to shoot through his spine down his back…. It became unbearable. These were a new category of pain. Tadashi moaned out loud again. His muscles tensed and he balled his fists. His breath came in gasps. He felt incredibly weak.… Another gush… he turned around to the other side and hold his head in between his hands.

Tadashi whispered Ryutaro’s name. Tears started rolling down his cheeks. With his closed eyes, Tadashi saw pictures playing like a movie. Where did they come from? He remembered…. during their long gone school days…. How they met, the one day Taro had come into the park, followed by a green heart shaped balloon. Tadashi stretched out his hand as if he wanted to touch this moment, this person again… he was so close, he saw everything like on this day. Words formed in his head.

“ _You must never set the balloon free and take good care of it. Will you take this light and bouncy heart with you and never let it go?”_

“… _only if the heart really wants to be with me.”_

“ _It wants to.”_

Tadashi sobbed and and cried out loud. His nose and tears were running, he grabbed into his hair in despair. That day….. he was so damn happy. It was the happiest day in his life. Back then, he felt like he could do everything…. Together they could cope with everything. Tadashi closed his hand as if he took Ryutaro’s hand again… feeling the warmth again. He smiled and thanked God with all his heart. At the same time he begged for forgiveness for all the trouble he had caused. But he couldn’t help himself. He just loved him.

Tadashi squeezed his blind eyes shut in pain. The pain became unbearable. He arched his back and opened his mouth. His mouth was all dry and his body in cold sweat. He stretched out his arm a last time.

 

  
_I can see you in the darkness._  
  
_Before we forget light again._

 

  
“Taro…” He whispered and the strength left his body… he breathed out and his head rolled back on the cushion. He remained laying on his right side on the futon, with his back to the door of their room.

Taro ran along the pavement back to their home. It was hard to run with a Yukata on but he tried…. When all of a sudden his shoe strap ripped apart and he fell hard onto the pavement. He screamed in shock and fell onto his hands which started to bleed immediately. Taro lost his paper bag during the fall… and the moment he knelt on the pavement and saw the apples rolling down the street, he knew that something terrible must have happened. Tears shot into his eyes, he collected himself with the torn Yukata and ran bare feet back to their house, leaving everything else behind.

“TADASHI!!!”

He started screaming the moment he set foot onto their large meadow. He ran as fast as he could, his lungs and feet were aching and his hands bleeding. He ran up the veranda.

“TADASHI?!!!” He smashed the wooden door open and ran along the corridor. Everything that followed, happened in slow motion. Ryutaro opening the door to their room….

And the moment he saw Tadashi lying with his back to him, he knew that he was gone.

Taro broke down onto his knees… his body started to shiver. He crawled into the room, not caring about his bloody hands or feet. He stretched out his hand, hesitantly, slowly and touched Tadashi’s shoulder.

No reaction.

He moved closer and settled behind Tadashi’s back. His lips started to tremble. And he knew.... he simply knew. Taro looked at Tadashi’s face. He looked as if he was asleep, no more pain now…. His cheeks were glistening though. He must have been crying before…. Taro broke hard into tears. He screamed out loud in pain, repeating Tadashi’s name over and over again. He slumped over Tadashi’s body, encircled Tadashi’s head with his arms. He cried into his blond hair, felt the cold body underneath…. It was too hard to take, too much to handle.

Taro moved back and vomited onto the tatami mat. He shivered very hard in shock. In daze, he stood up and opened the window. He walked back to the futon and covered Tadashi’s body with the comforter again, except of his face… One of Tadashi’s arms was stretched out to the corner of the room. Taro followed with his gaze and saw him pointing to their photo on the night stand. The photo they had taken in this village the day they came here for their onsen trip. Taro stood up to get the photo with its frame. He lay it onto Tadashi’s chest…. He looked at him and cared through his blond hair, again and again. He lowered his face and kissed him on his cheek, his eyes… finally his lips which were so unfamiliar cold. He cried against his mouth and his nose and eyes became all runny again.

“Why didn’t you wait for me?! How c-could you go… without m-me? That’s not fair… not fair! Everything in life worked against us! Even time!”

Taro moved up. “WHY GOD?! WHY?!” He took his most precious Angel back. Taro shook his head and rubbed his face with his long sleeve. He moved around Tadashi and lay down behind him with his head against his shoulder, his arms against his back…. One last moment together with his beloved. Taro clawed his fingers into Tadashi’s pajama… he was still shaking but exhausted and he fell asleep.  
Two hours later, he woke up when dusk was seen through their window. Taro moved up and looked into Tadashi’s still sleeping face and he kissed him. Again and again. Touched him and cared over his face…. Still in a daze, he finally stood up and left their bedroom. He walked into the corridor and dialed the number of their local doctor. It was the hardest thing to ever say out loud in his life.

The following night was hell. Taro was able to not work or function at all. Their well known doctor came over and he arranged everything necessary. He even called Tadashi’s mom on Ryutaro’s behalf. Taro heard her crying out loud through the phone. The doctor tried to soothe her and she promised to come over the next day. They fetched Tadashi and as strange as it sounded, Taro couldn’t watch it. Catatonic, he sat in their living room and waited for everything to be over. The doctor ended the phone call and the doctor went over to Taro. He checked his pulse and temperature.

“You better stay at a relative’s house Ryutaro-san.”

Taro looked at the doctor with empty, glassy eyes. He couldn’t even cry no more. “There are no relatives.” The doctor breathed out and took Taro with him that night to his own house. This is how things were in little villages. The next day, Tadashi’s family arrived and they all came. Tadashi’s parents and his younger brother… sometimes when his brother gazed into the distance, there was so much of Tadashi in his face. Taro could barely take it.  
Tadashi would have loved to see them reunited. They arranged everything necessary for the upcoming weeks. The funeral, law matters and so forth. Taro was very thankful for their help. He thanked them and they were really friendly to him, except for his father who was simply quiet but his mother was deeply shaken by her son's death as well. His brother was catatonic. The day of the funeral came… another endless movie playing in front of his eyes. A similar one from not too long ago. It was like in a bad dream. Tadashi’s family, old friends and colleagues from the village… It was a small but decent group. Some touched Taro encouraging on his shoulders and arms, offering their help. Taro just nodded and covered his eyes with his hair.

Tadashi’s brother cried and so did his mother. His father remained silent and Taro hated him for it…. Then the moment came when everybody had to say good bye to Tadashi. Taro waited until the end when everybody was outside the little shrine. He walked closer to the futon where Tadashi was laying on it. He sank onto his knees in his white Yukata, touching Tadashi’s hand.

“I can’t believe that I will never see you again. The house is empty without you… I am empty without you.” Tears dropped onto his legs and Tadashi’s hand, rolling down the little silver ring. Carefully, Taro slipped down the silver ring and he put it over his own ring.

“Promise me to be there the moment we will meet again.” Taro breathed out. “I will miss you so much.” He put a picture of them under Tadashi's hand and he stood up, without turning around. The house was all empty after the guests had left.

Taro was even more speechless when Tadashi’s mom offered him to live with them but Taro could have never left his little house or even sold it. He stayed behind…. She called every second day to ask how he was doing which was really nice. And Taro answered every time with the same monotone voice that he lived… somehow. The old woman from the kimono shop down the village offered Taro to start working at her place again… and he said yes. Call it boredom because he needed every distraction he could get. Because everything he saw, everything he did reminded him of his most beloved person. When he came home late in the evening, he always had the feeling that blond hair would peak over the bushes from where the veranda was.... He, waiting for him, but there was no one there. No one waiting, no cat, no warm tea and no warm light from the inside…

They found Taro's dead body several days later on the veranda, a shattered picture frame on the ground below his feet. Taro survived Tadashi for three months. The doctor said that he had died of a broken heart. His body lost every willpower to life. He was just 39 years old, like Tadashi.

 

 

_If I would have known,_

_that this was our last day together,_

_I would have acted differently, would have laughed differently,_

_would have told you so many things I always wanted to tell you_

_but never dared to put into words._

_Do you miss me now?_

_Do you ever think of me?_

_Because I do,_

_with everything that ever made me human.... you._

**LBC**

 


	29. Chapter 29

Song to this chapter:

**10 – The bruised soul**

**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJBkYPO67K4&index=10&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJBkYPO67K4&index=10&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC) **

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 29

 

_Rebirth_

 

 

In his Angel of Death-Mode, Toshiya passed cities, villages, forests, countrysides and rivers. The cold night wind glided over his wings, the fresh air played with his hair and senses. The night sky was especially beautiful this night, the stars clear, burning lights which seemed to surround him. Toshiya loved flying at night, compared to his daily life, everything felt meaningless and small.

He concentrated on Sakito's energy, speculating that Kaoru's close employee was with him since they both vanished several weeks ago. This speculation guided him hundreds of kilometers south of the main island, far into the countryside. There, in the middle of nowhere, in an unknown little village, he landed on pavement in front of storehouses of a fishing company. The smell of dead fish was all around him and made him cringe since his senses were on high alert. His wings disappeared, the red eyes turned into a warm brown again and Toshiya became visible to the physical world. He looked around but no one could be seen. Putting his hands into his pockets, he walked straight on, passed the large metal doors of the storehouses and the little fishing boats at the sea side.

After all this time with Kaoru, Toshiya knew that he was deep into a lot of businesses which most likely lay in some kind of gray-zone to the legal world. Nevertheless, he was a person well respected and Toshiya could never complain about being treated unjust or even witnessed Kaoru treating anyone else unkind. He was strict but followed everything he did with honor and respect.

What this kind of business did to Kaoru on a spiritual level, to his karma, Toshiya couldn't tell. He knew of the laws of doing good, receiving good, doing bad, receiving bad... but where were the limits here? Was he closer to heaven or to hell or didn't it matter as long as a nice person came out at the end? Philosophical questions with no answers and his head was fuming when Toshiya tried to find himself in between all this.

A deep breath of cold air and his senses guided him out of the harbor onto a little street which seemed to pass through the nearby village. The little houses which were beautifully lid, brightened the dark countryside. No cars or voices could be heard, it was a silence Toshiya didn't know from Tokyo. It was beautiful.

The first house which he passed seemed to be the local bar where all kind of village men met after their working hours and exchanged the little news they got during the day. A group of young men stood outside with their motor bikes, laughter and loud conversations filled the silent night. They were about five people and the stench of alcohol carried through the air. Toshiya thought of making himself invisible but it was too late when one of them started shouting over to the other side of the street. Toshiya panicked internally but kept his pace and walked on.... which did no good. One tall but slender guy came over and tried to involve Toshiya in some kind of conversation which was hopeless since he had too much to drink. He started to become loud after Toshiya didn't answer and passed him on the street. The drunk guy lifted his arm to grab for Toshiya's shoulder, in shock Toshiya turned around.... only to see that someone hold onto the guys arm and pushed him back.

“Get lost Taka, you're drunk!”

“How d-dare you..!”

Another shove from the guy in front of Toshiya and the drunk went murmuring his way, back to the group. It was then that Toshiya realized what kind of energy his strange savior in front of him had. This guy seemed so rooted to the earth, although not physically trained, he seemed so strong and honest. His aura was full of colors.... something Toshiya hardly saw in Tokyo. The guy turned around. He was wildly pierced and his hair had a funny haircut and hair color. His clothing was picked like his personality seemed: Wild and different.

“I'm sorry for this fool. He can be quite nice when he's sober.” The guy stretched out his hand. “I'm Hitsugi, what's your name?”

Toshiya cleared his throat and took the hand. Within a second, pictures shot through his mind, seeing facets of the guy's self and deeds. Toshiya liked what he 'saw'. “I'm Toshiya.”

“So, nice to meet you Toshiya.” Hitsugi pulled his hand away and whirled it dramatically through the air. “What brings you to this god forsaken village?” Which was indeed a justified question. Toshiya looked over Hitsugi's shoulder to the drunken guys on the other side of the street who luckily didn't pay attention. “I'm looking for a friend.”

Hitsugi nodded. “A name? I'm sure I know everybody here.”

Toshiya hesitated but answered anyway. “It's Sakito. He must be new here. A handsome, young guy with nice hair....”

“Ahhh, I see. So this is what you're after-”

Toshiya blushed. “No! I mean, he is one of my best friends and he went missing and I'm looking for him...”

Hitsugi nodded and gestured with his head over to the other side. “I will give you a ride.”

Toshiya looked over to the motor cycle. He never sat on a thing like that. “That thing?”

“Yup. You have the honor of riding it with me. Let's get away from here to a place where we can talk.”

It was idiotic to trust a guy he just met but Hitsugi seemed trustworthy. And Toshiya hold onto him as if his life depended from him. Hitsugi laughed when they got off the bike in front of a small farm house. “You nearly strangled me to death.” He laughed out loud.

“I'm sorry, I'm just so afraid of driving in general.”

Hitsugi took the helmet from Toshiya and gestured to follow him inside the old house.

“That's my house. Don't be afraid. I'm living here with my old man, we're both fishermen.”

Toshiya could have guessed. Old nets and peculiar other things hung at the front porch. Hitsugi guided him through a dark wooden corridor, through a small kitchen into the living room. After a while, he came back with some green tea. He put it down in front of Toshiya. “You look like the kind of tea-guy.”

“Thank you.” Toshiya smiled.

“So,” Hitsugi settled down at the table as well, right in front of him. “Sakito is his name....” Hitsugi had all of Toshiya's attention now.

“Have you seen him?”

Hitsugi nodded while he chewed on one of his lip piercings. “I tried to get into contact with him but he is very shy. You know, coming into this village, people talk. Nothing stays undiscovered, especially a beauty like him.”

“Do you know if he came alone?”

Hitsugi paused and looked at Toshiya, he tried to read him but it didn't make sense. “You are quite an interesting person yourself and there is nothing wrong with you, I can tell. Your eyes are honest.”

“Thank you.” Toshiya looked at his hands sheepishly. “But-”

“You know Toshiya, I try to get to know things but I try not to get involved. Behind this little fishing companies are big men, living from our hard work. I used to care once but now I've made my peace. Me and my dad, we can survive with the little loan, it's okay. I don't care about the guys in the big cars.”

Toshiya knew what Hitsugi was referring to. He knew the people in their big cars and even worked for one of them. But trying to convince Hitsugi that not all of them were bad, seemed hopeless.

“About Sakito...” Toshiya started again.

“He was too shiny for the normal world, you know, dressed all fancy and the hair.... I knew immediately that he was a protege of one of the big guys.”

“And have you seen him coming here with someone else?”

“No, I just saw this Sakito guy in the village when he did some shopping. I tried to speak to him once while I was on break outside the supermarket but he excused himself and vanished as quickly as possible. He drives a nice car too.”

Definitely sounded like Sakito.

“I talked to the cashier lady but she knew nothing about the guy either. He just came by to do some shopping 3, 4 times a week. Seemed like he did the shopping for someone else tough.”

Toshiya nodded. “Can you show me the supermarket?”

“Sure, tomorrow.”

“Thank you very much.”

“And where are you sleeping tonight?”

As an Angel, there was no need to sleep every night and he could easily hide in his Angel state but out in the open like that, he had to play the human role again. “I don't know.”

Hitsugi breathed out loud. “Man, you're hopeless.” He stood up and got a futon out of the living room closet. “I'm kind of afraid to let you go tomorrow, you know. I fear for your life. Don't do anything stupid man.”

“I won't. Thank you.”

But Hitsugi gave him a look that he didn't sound very convincing.

Hitsugi dropped Toshiya off at the local supermarket before he went to work. They exchanged mobile phone numbers before they parted, just in case. Toshiya thanked Hitsugi for everything but he waited at the local coffee next to the supermarket, ready for some Sakito-stalking. He had to come today, Toshiya prayed for it. After ordering the third coffee and sitting there for two hours, he still didn't come. It was Monday and usually many people did their shopping after the weekends.

Toshiya payed his coffee and went over to the supermarket, he decided to talk to the lady there as well. He browsed the shelves, tried to get used and comfortable with the new surroundings, when at the fifth row a pair of familiar eyes looked at him through the shelf of sweets. Toshiya popped his head up and so did a pair of familiar eyes. “Sakito!”

“Toshiya!” Sakito stood glued to the spot while Toshiya didn't hesitate and walked around the shelf quickly to his long missed friend. Sakito stood there, clad in a beautiful black suit and tie, all business. He had shopping bags in his hands and his eyes stood wide open as if seeing a ghost. He whispered. “Toshiya, you're not supposed to be here.” The Angel came closer and lay his hands onto Sakito's shoulders. “I was so concerned about you and Kaoru. Is Kaoru here as well?”

Sakito looked aside but didn't say a word. When he turned his attention back to Toshiya, he said. “You have to return to Tokyo. I have no idea how you found out about this place but this is bad. This is not safe for you Toshiya.”

“Saki, what's going on?”

“This is private Toshiya and I'm concerned about you. You are my friend, so please stay out of trouble, go back home.”

Sakito couldn't possibly know that Kaoru was his business. “I understand. But tell me, are all of you safe and coming back to Tokyo eventually?”

“We will.” Sakito said firmly and Toshiya believed it. “But not now.”

“I see.” Maybe Toshiya was kind of hurt but he never saw Sakito so serious before. “Good luck Saki, see you soon.”

Saki gave a half-hearted smile and nodded. “See you in Tokyo Toshiya”

Sakito waited for Toshiya to leave the shop and so he did. Behind the next corner, Toshiya concentrated and opened his eyes which changed into red color. He vanished in the visible world and wings formed on his back. And as soon as he was back in his Angel of Death-Mode, the dead souls were speaking to him, countless old fisherman and an irritably high amount of dead samurai-souls from a not too far battle field. He couldn't help them now, a greater exorcism would be needed for this place.

Sakito left the supermarket and as soon as the car started moving, Toshiya jumped into the air and followed the car by flying. They passed through the little village and went deeper into the countryside. Sakito drove through little forests and passed rice fields on his way. He made his way up north into the mountains. _'Where are you going to?'_ Toshiya wondered and he sunk down in his flight because the trees stood closer and were bigger.

The car parked in front of a modern, western looking house. It was the only house around and the property protected by high iron bars and surrounded by a steep forest. The house itself was built out of wood and large glass windows, white walls in between and a flat-angled roof. Modern art statues stood around the property and a wind-chime could be heard.

Sakito got out of the car and Toshiya waited patiently next to it. He observed Sakito getting out the shopping bags and grabbing for a card in his pocket. He walked around the house to the back where an entrance was. With the card, he opened the door and Toshiya entered it still invisible after him. The place was breathtaking. The furniture, carpets, the art on the wall, even the piano in the middle of the open room.... everything was chosen with great taste and it screamed money. The whole house was beautifully lid with day light because of the perfect arrangement of the glass walls. Sakito balanced the shopping bags into the kitchen while Toshiya waited in the middle of the big living room, taking in the splendor..... and finally a well known energy. Kaoru. He was here. He felt it. He finally felt him again... and he smelt his cologne, everything.

Toshiya turned around and his undead heart missed a beat when he saw Kaoru standing on the thick white carpet in the living room, dressed in his perfect dark blue pine-stripe suit with a red tie. His black hair styled perfectly and the sun reflected on his expensive watch while his hands rested in his pockets, waiting for Sakito to return.

There was an urge to storm towards him and take him into his arms. His protege, Kaoru, safe. After all this time hiding, he found him. He finally found him... but he couldn't. Toshiya was forbidden to be here. Kaoru seemed deep in thoughts and he leaned against the piano. Toshiya couldn't help himself and he did the same. He leaned next to Kaoru, breathed in his essence and felt that he was completely at ease, although Toshiya didn't know why but he was happy for him. All the sorrow, all the doubts, gone. He was happy.

Sakito started talking in the kitchen although Toshiya had no idea to whom. Kaoru smiled and Toshiya found himself looking at the beautiful smile, a smile he so scarcely saw in Tokyo.... this must be Kaoru's private home because he was completely at ease. The black strands of Kaoru's hair shone beautifully in the light which filtered through the trees and the big glass wall behind them. It was a reflex, when Toshiya slowly lowered his head, onto Kaoru's shoulder. And he rested there, without feeling it or being felt by Kaoru. Toshiya breathed in the well known cologne a last time before a sound from the kitchen broke the moment.

“Otou-san!”

Kaoru walked away from the piano and he knelt down when a little boy came running out the kitchen, straight into Kaoru's arms. Toshiya couldn't believe his eyes, his ears. He stood there in utter shock and observed the surreal scene in front of him. Kaoru picked up the boy and hold him up in his arms. He combed through the boys hair and scolded him for the chocolate stains on his white shirt. The boy was beautiful, he had his fathers eyes, the black hair and too elegant clothing for his age. Toshiya guessed him to be around five.  
He never knew that Kaoru had a child. Nothing ever suggested that he was a father.... and in that moment, he felt so stupid. All these long forgotten stares, the moments and words they had exchanged, the kisses.... he felt so stupid now..... so, _human_? He felt pathetic. It was ridiculous feeling like that, God knows he was his Guardian Angel but that tiny, stupid flame of hope which poisoned his objective mind, hurt.

Sakito entered the room and Kaoru put the boy down who reentered the room later with some toys. They exchanged words of business and Toshiya heard that they planned to return to Tokyo soon. He also made out that Kaoru was there because the boy used to be sick. It was then when a woman entered the living room.... and she was gorgeous. Tall, slender, hazelnut brown, long hair, elegant in every move she did.... but in comparison to Kaoru's greeting with the boy, their exchange was rather cold, more business-like.

Toshiya wanted to know everything. He walked closer to them and looked into the eyes of the woman. Carefully, he touched her shoulder and pictures shot through his mind.... _former model from Tokyo... involved into host business.... pregnant from one night stand..... brought here out of safety...._ he removed the hand quickly. She was a prisoner in this house. Although she had everything, the protected life here killed her from the inside. This was no good but Toshiya couldn't possibly help her. He looked at the boy who played with some cars on the ground while the grown-ups were talking.

Toshiya knelt down and observed the boy. Without touching him, he saw the boy's weak health and after he touched him on the head, he knew why.... _hereditary disease from Kaoru's side.... often in hospitals.... creative soul.... loved by everyone._ It broke Toshiya's heart.

“Kentaro, it's lunch time!” His mother called him and the little boy ran behind her into the kitchen.

Toshiya stood up and he knew that his business was finished here. He got what he needed. On his way to the door, he passed Sakito and Kaoru who were still talking. With a last glimpse at his protege, he left the house. It was a long walk through the little fishing village and the cold, humid air was a comforting feeling on his long dead, artificial skin. Toshiya breathed in like a human would do, let the shoulder long hair fall in utter melancholy over his eyes, his long, slender hands buried deep in his coat pockets.

Situations in life could change so quickly, from one moment to the other, just like that. Just from seeing things from a different angle. People call that 'growing up'. So Toshiya decided to have an eye on Kaoru's boy as well. The little one who brought such a smile on Kaoru's face.

So this was good bye then. His last day on earth. And back in heaven, Toshiya would carry on to take care of Kaoru and his development. It was better that way and safer for all of them.... which brought back the memory, that he in fact ran away from the order of returning early. He only hoped that heaven's authorities weren't too strict with young rebels and their families. It must have been a great shock to his family and friends. _Karyu, Shinya.... Hakuei._

It was time to return. It was time to go home.

The walk around the little village took him longer than expected. It slowly became dark and the fishermen started to gather at the few local bars. On his way out of the village, Toshiya passed several of them but Hitsugi was nowhere to be seen. He came to the end of the village and followed the only road out, waiting for a safe spot to turn invisible to fly back to Tokyo.

In the distance, an all black car stood in the shadows, the black window lowered only a bit to let the cigarette smoke go out. A pair of deep, dark eyes followed Toshiya's figure until the darkness of the night swallowed him completely. So he really came. He suppressed an inner urge to run behind him, ask him a thousand questions. Ever since Sakito told him that _he_ had followed them, there was no rest, no thought which wouldn't include him. Why did he come here? Was he a spy? Or maybe for....? Impossible, not even worth imagining. Different world's and reputation stood between them, on top of constant danger of possibly loosing beloved ones. And partly, it was his fault. For raising any hopes.... was it stupid, human?

Again, a deep inhale of smoke because nicotine always calmed him down. It was better this way. Always had been and always would be. His hand moved back from the door opener and with one wave, Kaoru gestured his driver to continue his travel back to Tokyo. Again, all alone. His family was left back save, Sakito was right behind them.

Naturally, Toshiya arrived in Tokyo first. It was early in the morning, the sun rise only one hour away. He landed on the high sky scraper where he used to life and work until this day. In his hand he hold a letter which he would leave in his apartment. It was better that way, no last words no say goodbye. They would both keep themselves in memory and Toshiya swore to himself to do the best job in protecting Kaoru and keep an eye on his son from afar.

He also left another letter for Sakito and thanked him for all his help and told him to get rid of his old stuff or keep the things he could use. It wasn't much really, mainly clothes. Kaoru's letter was filled with warm words and a good excuse for his departure which was to go to Australia backpacking. No one would look for him there.

He looked around his small but neat apartment a last time, the place which was his home for over half a year. And his eyes stuck on the custom made leather jacket on his sofa, Kaoru's gift. Toshiya stepped forward and wanted to reach for it.... but he stopped in his tracks. Simply because he didn't allow himself this sentimentality.... over the past months, he grew into this role of 'being' human again, met some nice people on the way and gained a lot of confidence during his stay. But all things end eventually. This was another chapter in his Akasha chronicle. The story of his own protege an him would continue from a save distance in heaven. Toshiya turned around and jolted when he saw a shadow standing in the door frame.

“Who?”

A slender, almost tender figure came into the light and Toshiya couldn't believe his eyes.

“Mum.”

Shinya smiled and opened his arms. Toshiya stormed over and crushed into him. They hold each other tight and Shinya smiled happily, cared through Toshiya's hair, reassuring that it was finally him.

“You are really here.” Toshiya whispered.

“Karyu said that you would return here and he was right.” They smiled.

“I missed you and the others so much.”

“We missed you too. There was not a minute I haven't thought of you.” Shinya solved the embrace and slowly stepped back. Wondering, Toshiya followed his movements when Shinya went out the door and left the apartment.

Another shadow showed up. Toshiya smiled and walked over to it. Karyu came as well.

He stopped.... It wasn't Karyu.

And he covered his mouth with both hands. Tears started to form in his eyes and Toshiya sobbed into his hands while he was frozen to the spot.

Broad shoulders stepped into the light, both arms covered with colorful Tattoos, his black-blond hair hung partly into his eyes and over his shoulders, his gaze as usual deep and unreadable, he bit his full lip. And then, he smiled.

“Hakuei,” Toshiya whispered to himself and then he walked towards him. First hesitant but then he ran the last steps. And he was caught like he was used to, embraced and lifted up like he was used to... it felt like a long forgotten dream. Like waking up from a long sleep. The smell, his strong arms, the many unspoken words, everything was so Hakuei, felt like home. It was unbelievable.

Hakuei gazed down onto Toshiya's face, cared over his head and arms, kissed him onto his hair once, twice.... and all he said was: “Thank you God.” His hands glided down Toshiya's arms and he took his cold hands, Hakuei's were warm as always. It felt... intimate, somehow. Toshiya wondered and looked aside when a knock broke the moment. At the door was Shinya together with Karyu, who said:

“Let's go home Toshiya, you fulfilled your task.”

 

  
  
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Arriving in heaven, they were separated immediately at the borders. Shinya hold onto Hakuei's arm who didn't want to let go of Toshiya but Cherubim guided Karyu and Toshiya straight to Metatron-sama's hall. They were followed by Kazu, Leader of the Angel of Revenge. The Cherubim left the hall again after delivering them, one of them was Hizumi who gave Karyu a knowingly nod.

They were so close to have each other again.... Hakuei could barely stand the thought. Not now, not after such a long time. He ran after the Angel's in command and so did Shinya, afraid of Hakuei's safety. The Guardian Angel was never one to cause problems but as Shinya saw him change over the past half a year, he wouldn't guarantee for anything.

Of course they were stopped immediately by a wall of Cherubim who guarded Metatron's hall. Hizumi looked at Shinya and Hakuei with a stern look, making them understand not to cause a scene. Things in heaven were on edge these days, and mood swings were the last thing they would deal with easily.

Shinya heard his name and finally found Die in the midst of Angels. He was so happy to see his beloved but he had to stay professional because Die was on duty. They exchanged a few words about Toshiya's return but Die gestured Shinya to better look after Hakuei who looked rather disturbed.

Shinya touched Hakuei's arm and cared lovingly over it. “Everything will be fine. Everybody likes Toshiya, he's a wing healer. Heaven needs him.”

“I know, it's just..., you know. Everything with us is so complicated. Toshiya can't just return to heaven normally. You recall his first arrival after his last life on earth? He was a mess... I nearly lost him, I nearly lost myself.”

Shinya recalled that day clearly. Die had to help them, pulled them out of a mental nightmare which Toshiya had built around them. And the days afterwards were horrible too. No one thought that anyone of them would make it, nor Toshiya or Hakuei. But things have changed drastically since then, thank heavens.

“You both changed so much since then. Toshiya became so much stronger, also because of you. And you grew with him.”

A sad smile. “I know you're right.” Hakuei smiled uneasy.

Metatron stood up from his seat and looked from Karyu to Toshiya who stood in front of them. Kazu was right behind them as Karyu's responsible.

Metatron spoke up. “It was a heavenly order to return the protege from Tokyo two days ago because of unusual activity in that area. We shut the area down because of unknown, possible danger which was caused by hell residents! And we are talking about the tough ones, the ones who were trained to kidnap, torture and kill young Angels like you!!” Metatron pointed with one finger at Toshiya. Karyu had every urge to step in between but he literally felt Kazu holding him back to do so. This was something Toshiya had to take responsibility for.

“Heaven didn't survive that long with souls defying our orders, heaven didn't become that strong on Angels simply doing what they want!!” Karyu so had to bite his tongue. “And heaven doesn't make exceptions, for no one!!” Karyu couldn't take it no longer, he darted forward and stood in front of Toshiya who looked unmoved and strong back at Kamijo. “How dare you interrupt my words!!” He was absolutely furious. “But who am I talking to with such a father?!” Now Kazu jumped forward and hold onto Karyu to calm him down, telling him mentally not to make things worse. Karyu breathed in and out before he stepped back to Toshiya's side.

A moment of silence before Kamijo continued. “Toshimasa will be stripped of all responsibilities-”

Kazu had to hold Karyu back again although Toshiya took it better than him. “You are not fit to take care of an own protege yet. You will return to schooling and mental training here in heaven. But you are free to help with your gifts of wing healing and in future as Angel of Death. Now leave, all of you.”

Karyu looked with his eyes narrowed while he took Toshiya on his elbow to guide him out. They left, together with Kazu who closed the door behind them.

Outside, Toshiya feet gave in and he sunk to his knees but Karyu hold onto him. Shinya stormed towards them when another hand reached for Toshiya.

“I got this.” Hakuei said with his husky voice and lifted Toshiya up into his arms. He carried him out of the holy halls. Instinctively, Toshiya buried his head on his shoulder while his arms were slung around Hakuei's neck.

Karyu hold Shinya back to follow them, Die and Hizumi joined the group, only to watch Hakuei leave together with Toshiya in silence.

On their way back to their home, it was Toshiya who stammered 'I have failed', a hundred times, over and over again like a mantra but it was Hakuei who retarded it every time.

“You acted out of your own heart. How could this be wrong? I'm always proud of you. Always. Never forget that” That was all he said and it silenced Toshiya. It still took some time for him to realize, that every action came with a reaction and everyone was responsible for the impact they created. Hakuei knew that Toshiya would understand eventually.... but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt.

Hakuei wasn't shocked about Metatron's decision. In fact, it could have been worse which only showed him how much heaven valued Toshiya. Loosing Kaoru as protege hit Toshiya hard and wounded him deep, especially his newly gained self-confidence. But who thought that Hakuei was happy about it... was wrong because he felt Toshiya's pain like his own, especially because he was his Guardian Angel. It wasn't the other way round though. A Guardian Angel was always able to shield anything from a protege.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
And Toshiya was hurting, so so much. Just looking at him.... and everybody hurt too. It was the empty gaze when Toshiya looked out of the window, his mouth covered with one hand, the other arm leaning over one pulled up knee. His gaze empty, no sound, no words. He said nothing.... for days. Silence. It filled up their little apartment.... nothing. And although it was silent, Hakuei heard him cry. Not physically. It was his body that screamed, the chest which burned deep, the empty eyes full of tears. ….not a single word. Silence. It went on for days.

Hakuei was deeply affected by Toshiya's hurt but he didn't show it, he simply couldn't. He thought about all the wise words and phrases to say but decided that it was best to stay silent. There was nothing that could be said, nothing that could comfort loss..... only time could. And he decided just to be there. Shinya showed up eventually but when he clutched Toshiya's hand, a weak smile was all he got.

Hakuei had painted all these colorful pictures in his head before Toshiya returned... how their return would look like, how Toshiya might had changed, his own behavior towards his beloved.... _his_.... it all came so differently. Their nights were sleepless. And although they shared the same large bed like in old times, there was a huge gap in between their bodies. Toshiya needed the distance although it was so hard for Hakuei to do so. They used to cuddle back then and yet in this situation it felt like a dream. How long had Hakuei dreamt of holding him in his arms, telling him that everything would be fine, as long as they were together. He would always look after him, cared for nothing else in all these worlds... but it was so hard and Toshiya didn't know how he felt. God knew Hakuei hasn't really figured it out himself and if so, he could never tell. He was his Guardian, an example, a strong Angel creatures looked up to..... but when it came to _these_ kind of matters... he felt weak. So he stayed strong, for both of them.

  
Hakuei woke up the next morning and the bed was empty. The weather outside was beautiful and Toshiya gone. Hakuei guessed right that Toshiya went for a walk. Finally. After days of shutting himself in.

The grass under his bare feet, the wind on his skin, on his feather wings, it felt amazing. This morning, he needed that. Some proof that he was still alive in this sphere. Toshiya came to a halt in front of the large holy lake and almost instantly, an old well-known face looked up from the middle of the sea. It was Daisuke, the water creature. Toshiya leaned down and touched the surface with his hands. His eyes became white and Daisuke's voice filled his head immediately, greeting him with full joy. And a moment later, Daisuke appeared in front of Toshiya in the water.

They spoke in thoughts since Daisuke gave him part of his talent to communicate through the power of water.

'It's so good to have you finally back Toshiya, I tried to reach you through water on earth but couldn't really get to you.'

'Life there was... complicated.'

'I can imagine. But I'm glad that you're finally back. I need to talk to you, I need your help.'

'Yes.'

'I've heard how dangerous it became on earth with the prophecy and everything... it tastes like betrayal everywhere. This is why I gave you part of my power. I am mentally strong but I need an ally in physical form. I can't leave here.'

'How can I help?'

'I know that there are spies everywhere and hell becomes more bold in its actions.'

'But this is what the Angels of Revenge are here for, I am not a strong Angel I-'

Daisuke gave him a look which shut him up. 'You don't want me to remind you of your gifts and all your deeds. You're already infamous for your talents and your family. Heaven and its residents know you.'

Toshiya looked back at Daisuke astonished. 'I didn't know I was.... famous?'

'This is why I need you. You may not be physically strong like a Revenge but you are the strongest soul I know. You grew because of your pain, you gained the sight of compassion and intelligence through your suffering. You can make borders vanish through your believe and strength as an Angel of Death. Any more reasons? Good. Now listen: I will need your help when heaven is threatened by intruders.'

“What intruders? How can I help in such a case?'

Daisuke told Toshiya about the rumors and what his goal was. 'You are my eyes, hands and feet. You can walk the spheres for me, I have to stay in this lake as a water creature. What no one knows is that I am guarding the young souls and Angels here in heaven. Our holy lake is the portal to the higher spheared halls as you know.' Toshiya nodded.

'And we are in contact through water. Archangel Kami can only feel changes through water but not use it as a communication tool, like I do.... and you.'

Now Toshiya felt even more honored than before.

'We have to keep heaven's residents safe when the Archangels fail.'

Toshiya nodded and so did Daisuke. 'Heaven belongs to all children. And we must guard them.'

On his way through the local forest in heaven, the thinking machinery set in again. Daisuke was a welcome diversion, for a few minutes it gave Toshiya something else to think of. The 'what would could should if when'..... was mostly about Kaoru. The old feeling of loss, failure, fault.... everything. How could Kamijo simply strip him of all responsibilities, how? Of course he was Metatron-sama but didn't Ruki has something to say in that matter?

“No.” Was all Ruki said when Toshiya went straight to him. “There is nothing I can do. Kamijo can do whatever he thinks is right. And believe me, punishment could have been worse. Like loosing your Guardian Angel and going into exile-”

Just mentioning the possibility of loosing Hakuei.... filled Toshiya with a deep, unknown dread. One he was instantly very afraid of. He shook his head to forget about it. “But Kaoru is not without protection while I'm.... well, gone.”

“Never. God's children never walk alone.”

The empty glance of Toshiya when he looked down onto his hands, listening to the words in disbelieve, Ruki cleared his throat while his hand lay on Toshiya's Akasha chronicle. “Toshiya, although you are stripped of your duty as Guardian Angel, you will never loose that bond you have with Kaoru. It's karmic. Even Kamijo can't cut that rope. And listen to an old Angel: There is hardly a loss without a gain. You will see. Things always turn out differently but in the end, what happened is for the good and if it's not good, it is not the end.”

Toshiya looked back at Ruki's deep and unreadable eyes. Ruki was like a fish, unpredictable and impossible to get sometimes. But his words were kind and full of hope. He thanked him for the advise and left the office. The sun was dazzling outside when Toshiya made his way back to heaven's castle, where he had left Hakuei behind this morning. After a few meters however, Toshiya instinctively turned around and saw Hakuei leaning against the building wall. A smirk on his face, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“How-” Toshiya mouthed the word and without saying something, Hakuei made him feel that he just knew. Toshiya scratched his head and looked sheepishly to the ground while Hakuei walked over to him. “Knowing you after all these years... there won't be a single possibility you wouldn't try.”

Hakuei stopped in front of Toshiya and his body covered him in full shadow. The proximity was somehow... unusual. Like back then when he hold his hands while fetching him from earth. He and Hakuei were used to strong emotional and physical contact because they shared a strong bond and literally most of their lifes with each other but nevertheless it felt... unusual. Maybe it was the long separation.

“Have you found your voice again?” Hakuei murmured in a deep tone which would have been impossible for anyone else to hear.... and it broke something. It was Hakuei's way of saying it, the pain he must have caused Hakuei through his actions and silence, again.

Toshiya crushed into his chest and leaned his head against him. Hakuei hold onto Toshiya's head and cared through his hair. “No matter what happened Toshiya, I'm so proud of you. You acted out of your heart and found your protege. And I don't care if it's against the rules, screw all of them. It was a noble act and I'm proud of you.” Toshiya buried his face into Hakuei's chest, he didn't answer, he couldn't. And his heart calmed down, this inner burning flame of ice. Toshiya responded with his mind. 'Thank you' Hakuei kissed him onto his hair and the young Angel closed his eyes for a moment of silence before he started. “It wasn't fair of me.... hurting you as well.” Hakuei moved him slowly back. “You never did.”

Toshiya shook his head. “It wasn't fair of me to ache more over Kaoru than over you. You have feelings too. I must accept that in some way we are all connected with each other, the two of us and I with Kaoru. I'm sure I will see him again. Maybe it was better that way. Maybe the time wasn't right for me.”

It was an inner urge. It was imprinted in Hakuei's mind since Toshiya met Kaoru and he couldn't take it much longer. “Do you love him?” But Hakuei didn't meet his eyes.

Toshiya was shocked hearing it said out loud. A question he never dared to put into words himself. An answer he couldn't even give himself. “Well..... _Love_ is a strong word.” Was his immediate reaction. “Maybe admiration. He was special and cared for me too.” Little did he know that every word cut a piece out of Hakuei's heart but he tried not to show it. In his mind he tried to explain it to himself that he had 'history' as well.

“Hakuei, what happened with Ni~ya?! Oh my God, I totally forgot about him! I commanded them to bring him to our place. Was he at our place?”

Hakuei nodded and he looked sad. “Oh yes, he was at our place.”

Toshiya grabbed for Hakuei's arms. “Don't tell me he...”

“No, he survived. But it was hard, very hard. Kai and I looked after Ni~ya for two nights before he vanished to return to his old place. I haven't seen him since then but I know that Kai is looking after him.” Hakuei couldn't help himself but notice Toshiya listening absentminded, he started again. “You sent him to me, knowing that he and Ruka don't really get along?”

He nodded. “I did.” A short pause. “Also because I know that the two of you seem to have history together. I don't know whether it is good or bad history but every other contact seemed better than sending Ni~ya back to cold hearted Ruka.” Hakuei turned his attention aside but before he could close himself up from his feelings, Toshiya already snatched a few feelings coming from Hakuei.... _surprise, sensation, disinterest, neglect...._

Hakuei moved back from their proximity and nothing could have hurt Toshiya more. “I am sorry Toshiya. I know that you just felt what I felt and you are right. I know I'm in no position to ask but please give me some time before I am able to tell you about my past.”

Toshiya agreed silently but hated the business like direction their conversation took.

He always assumed that they were 'more than that.'


	30. Chapter 30

Song to this chapter:

**11 – -rebirth-**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siSw4eS9WZQ&index=11&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siSw4eS9WZQ&index=11&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 30

_Reunion_

 

 

Ruka opened the door after a soft knock and couldn't believe his eyes when he found half lifeless Ni~ya leaning against his door frame. The weakened Angel wanted to step inside but his strength gave in and Ruka caught him in his arms, carefully carrying fainted Ni~ya over to his bed. He must have used all of his left strength to leave Hakuei's place to come back home to him. After all, he was his Guardian.

Ruka left Ni~ya at Hakuei's place knowing that he would like it there better. Ruka also knew about his protege's infatuation with Hakuei but didn't care to research their history and never asked for it.

He couldn't help himself but to wonder why they were paired up in the first place. He was a controlled, silent guy and more than painfully obvious not the right match for Ni~ya. God knows how many times he asked Ruki about it or about swapping partners with anyone else..... he wasn't what Ni~ya needed and the other way round too.

Ruka covered Ni~ya with his comforter and sat aside, observing how the young Angel was slightly shivering and murmuring in his sleep. He called for Kai in his thoughts to please check on this wingless Angel in his bed.

After some healing energy from Kai, Ni~ya finally drifted into a deep sleep and the feelings and smells from the last few days evoked memories from a past life, which he desperately tried to forget......

 

Flashback

**Venice 1574**

 

It was a luscious and glorious time back then. Venice was full of painters, merchants, artists and the rich society. Life was sweet to those with enough money. Luxurious houses and golden gondolas gliding through the canals. Ridiculously decorated houses and palaces, gold, brocade, expensive clothing and jewellery were everywhere. No one cared about the politics made in Florence or religion in Rome. They had their own laws in Venice and life was sweet, everybody enjoyed and showed it. Fortune was never discussed, it was spectacular shown to the outside world. Every grand family, called the ‘nobili’, gave ridiculous expensive Parties to show off to their neighbours and the more parties you attended well dressed, the more popular you became.

I was one of them. An only son of a rich merchant family. My father traded with fabrics, my mother helped him with the family business. I had to attend an expensive private school but dropped out every possible moment. I hated studying and business. I was one of the rich folks who attended every party.... in short, I was a total no-good. My father hoped for me to inherit the family business but oh well…

Venice was a rich city in the 16th century. Decadent. The old men traded and brought Venice to its glory, the rich youngsters spent their money on clothes, perfume, food and love… the _dolce vita_. I couldn’t care less. With the inheritance of my father, I would never have to work again. It was mere sentimentality of my father to keep the family business going. I on the other hand planned to maybe marry a daughter from another prosperous family to stable my rich lifestyle if really needed and of course betray her at the first given moment.

And these were the days when he came along.

The carnival festivities lasted half a year these days. For weeks Gentlemen and Ladies left the houses with masks and glorious costumes on… they even attended church in their disguise… and I was bored to death. With parties every day, I couldn't help myself but life of the energy of this glorious city. Gambling in the evening, seducing younger or older woman here and there, I really couldn’t care less. My friends loved being with me and encouraged my behaviour…. What a bunch of idiot friends I had back then.

My mother was a very sensitive woman. She cried almost every day. Now and then the neighbours or the police knocked on our doors, sometimes they brought me back after a brawl, sometimes they got me out of bed in the middle of the night to scold me for things I'd done during the day…. My father always paid for the damage I had caused.

When we, my boys and me, were bored we did the strangest things. We unfastened the gondola of our rival clans (which was considered one of the highest damage back then) or and that’s one of my favourites: We called the clergyman to healthy people's houses for their last rites… it was hilarious every time they opened the doors themselves…. We loved playing pranks.

So one night I attended another boring carnival party. Just for the hunt I observed a lovely brunette across the room more than obviously. Her brown locks fell lusciously over her porcelain shoulders, the dark green silk dress with high corset fit her young, lovely form perfectly. She was way too young but I wanted to be her first. She would compare any following lovers with me after I was done with her…. Oh how I was looking forward to break another heart this night… She was surrounded by older women, probably her chaperones or even one of them her mother. So I had to set her free of them. I took a glass of sweet wine and leaned against a wall not far away from her…. I’ve had a lovely state these days. With my twenty-five years I was nearly 1,80 metres tall, had dark long hair and eyes, a slim figure, handsome face. Girls, women, boys… the all adored me, some went even mad after I dropped them.  
Clad in my dark blue velvet dress coat and the matching eye mask and hat, I started glaring at her even more intensely. Of course she’d already noticed me at this point. She blushed under her eye cover, her young milky cheeks gave her away. I flirted with her and she almost died there on the spot…. Well, after I was done with my wine, I threw the glass out of the open window. I looked at her a last time before I turned around and left the hall. I walked down the splendour stairwell to the servant quarters on the first floor….. slowly, predictable. I leaned against a wall downstairs next to the stairwell and it didn't take long until I heard petite steps clacking down the stairwell, hasty, impatient, like a young bird.

I smiled at myself. It worked every time. She looked around in panic. So out of the shadows I reached for her waist and pulled her close to me. She breathed out loud in surprise at the sudden contact of our bodies. Oh how I loved these little dolls with their hard corsets and their smell of roses.

“Just for my accord….” I whispered with a husky voice at her little ear when I started playing with her hair. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen.”

The answer came too fast. I started nibbling around her ear.

“The truth please….”

“15.”

“Perfect.” I bit into her neck and she sucked in her breath deeply. I kissed her nape moved down to her face. I licked her lips and finally kissed her hungrily. She melted in my arms like butter. Hastily, I moved with her deeper into the shadows behind the stairwell at the servant quarters, not far away from a balcony. I fumbled with her long silk gown and lifted it up my waist. She hesitated for a moment.

“Please…”

“Excuse me?” I stopped a moment. “You either get all of me or nothing at all.”

She blushed but moaned out loud when I slipped my fingers into her underpants. I covered her mouth with one hand while I gave her the full programme, she almost collapsed in my arms. Hungrily, I kissed her sweet little mouth before my other hand slipped into the front of her corset, revealing one breast. My mouth travelled down her collarbone to the white little breast, I sucked her nipple hard and covered her mouth again when she cried out loud a second time. After she came, I turned her around against the wall and gave it to her hard from behind. She held clumsily onto the wall while I held her small waist firmly against me. Nothing was more alluring to me than young virgins these days. After I was done, I moved down on her, lifted one leg but only to remove one garter. It was a trophy which I loved to collect. You can imagine what a nice collection I’ve had these days.

The moment I moved up again and she hastily sorted out her gown, a man appeared in the servants stairwell hall and he looked at the two of us baffled but knowingly.

“What are you looking at?!” I barked at the man and he walked away. Somehow, the way he looked at me.... I tried not to feel ashamed. It was the first time I actually felt shame.

I stepped back from her while she got her hair in order again. I played with the garter in my hand.

“My garter…” She almost whispered.

“I’ll keep it. Hope you don’t mind. Take it as my payment.”

She bit her lip. I moved away from because I wanted to leave her, the party, this house.

“Where are you going?” Her tender voice asked in disbelieve.

“Home.”

“When will I see you again?”

“At the next big party… or look for me in all brothels of Venice.”

When I walked away from her I heard her starting to sob in the dark. Her lovely voice was my soundtrack of leaving the venue, this is what I called a perfect evening.

The next day, I awoke rather rushed late midday when my father shouted out loud for me. Loud and angry, looking for his lazy son. My father had a lot to do because of his expanding fabric business. Well, I didn’t mind since it was my future money. So sometimes, when he’d gotten very angry, I even helped him a little. But today I was death striking tired. Also had a little too much wine the evening before.

“NI~YA!!!! Now get your ass out of bed or I’ll drag you down myself!!!” My father was also a very impatient man. So I got dressed and combed my hair back. Some strands hung lazily into my face. Black tight pants, white blouse with lace, first three buttons open… this was my casual look.

I walked down two floors to the trading quarters.

“There you are. Ni~ya, a young man delivered this elaborate fabrics and I need your opinion on them.” My father said. “Their patterns are quite a trend on the continent but I'm not sure whether they will sell here... “

Still drowsy, I stopped at the table and looked at the dark blue and red brocade fabrics. They were wonderful, I’d never seen such quality before.

“They’re great and they will sell.”

My father smiled broadly over his whole face. “Very well. This young merchant travels the world to get the best fabrics from Paris, London, St. Petersburg…”

I looked up and only now I realized that a strange person was sitting at the entrance of the room, waiting for my father to proceed…. And I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was impossible. It was the man who saw me and the girl at the party engaged in our private kind of business...

I cleared my throat and walked over to him. The man stood up and he looked at me with cold eyes. If he knew? He surely knew. His eyes lay knowingly on me and it weighted heavily on my shoulders. There it was again... this unknown feeling of shame.

He was one head taller than me. Dark, shoulder long hair, blue eyes. I stretched out my hand and he took it, although slightly hesitant.

“Pleasure to make your acquaintance, I’m Ni~ya.”

He shook my hand. “Hakuei.”

What a strange Name, I thought. Sounded foreign.

“So, you’re not from Venice?”

“Praha.” Okay, he was Czech. Explained the dark hair but not the blue eyes.

“Are you staying longer in Venice?”

“As long as my services are required.”

He spoke Italian with an accent.... it was damn sexy.

My father spoke up. “Hakuei will be my guest for this week. Please Ni~ya, show him around and provide him with anything necessary.”

I was no slave, I didn't serve. I was born rich and never had to ‘show people’ around but in this case, I made an exception.

“No it’s okay Mr. Grimaldi. I've got everything I need and prefer to work alone. I hope you don't mind.” Hakuei answered but there was something in his voice that I didn’t like. To me he seemed snobbish and cold. A distinguished kind of snobbish from the one I used to portray and I didn't like it.

My father nodded friendly and Hakuei left me standing there. He walked over to my father to discuss further business. I tried not to show my irritation but did he really ignore me?! How dare he leaving me here standing like this. Without another word I left the house.

I visited my old friend. I knew Raffaele since infancy and he knew everything about me. I jumped onto his bed and threw the garter from last night at him.

“You bastard.” He said grinning.

“Thank you.” I answered bored.

“How old?”

I grinned. “You guess.”

“Hm… 16 maybe?”

I grinned even wider. “Almost… 15.”

He gave me a knock on my shoulder. “Bastard! You won!”

“I know.” I yawned. I was so bored. Raffaele told me about their newest pranks and adventures at the brothel… I couldn’t help myself but my thoughts drifted to these cold eyes again and again.

“… so, what do you think?”

I looked up astonished. “What?”

“God Grimaldi! Pay attention! What’s on your mind?”

I shook my head. “There is this new merchant in our house for a whole week as my father's guest. A foreigner from Prague. I don’t like his attitude. He didn’t show me enough respect.”

“Shall we take that fellow around and humiliate him a bit?” I thought about it. “Not today… I’ll see how he behaves the upcoming days. I’ll let you know.” And I jumped up from Raffaele's bed and left him. When I came home in the evening, my mother was obviously shocked about something our neighbour told us.

“Ah Ni~ya.” She touched my head lovingly. “Imagine, today a clergyman was ordered to perform a last rite at old Ms. Capello’s house although she was as fit as a fiddle!” I acted shocked but laughed internally. That was Raffaele's prank. He had an argument with her son and sent them the clergyman for a nice surprise. Old but still a good joke. I touched her cheek lovingly, before I walked up the stairs to the first floor of our house. I loved my mother.

I stopped in surprise when Hakuei passed me, ready to walk down the stairs. He didn’t even say hello or anything but his quick glance was enough. I turned around and snarled at him. “What’s your problem? You are guest in my house and I demand respect!”

Hakuei turned around on the stairwell. “I am a guest in your father’s house.”

“How dare you!” I walked towards him as I was always short tempered. I couldn’t stand the thought of people looking down on me. Hakuei turned around and walked up the two steps he had already taken. His hands were crossed in front of his chest, now I realized how much taller he was from me. I looked up into his face when he started to speak.

“I respect people who work hard for their money, such as your father. I met many people like your father and I met many people like you. You, I have no respect for.” He said with an uplifted chin, his blue eyes almost gleamed.

I looked back at him in utter shock, as if he had slapped me right there on the spot and truth was, this was how it felt. “Is it because of last night?” I wanted to know because I didn’t want to understand.

“I don’t care how you are spending your days. All I know is that you don’t have respect for your parents and even for yourself.”

He turned around, still with his arms crossed and walked down the stairs to my fathers trading rooms.

I didn't have dinner with them. Although I never cared for anyone's opinion, his words hit me deep. I lay in my bed, thinking not of his words, God knows I knew what a good for nothing I was, no, I thought of him and those cold blue eyes which looked so despicable at me.

He had a strong face with hard and muscular features and on top he was taller than me which was quite rare in Italy. The eastern European men were strong. IT excited me. Everything about his existence excited me. His disgust, his strength.... he fascinated me. Maybe I was kind of excited how far I had to go to anger him.

My father left the following day for a personal meeting with another merchant in town and he left Hakuei in charge of me. He urged me to take him to a party in town to 'loosen him up' a bit and maybe introduce him to one or two people. Because it was all about contacts.

I wasn't very thrilled about this idea because this Hakuei mixed as well with parties like oil with vinegar.... Not. AT. All.

This was the longest gondola ride I’ve ever had. Me glaring at him, he looking absent-minded at the water surface and passing buildings. We arrived together and Raffaele couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the tall stranger next to me. He knew immediately that it was father's new business partner, the guy I told him about. Because I don’t wanted to be a pig, I introduced the two of them and right at the entrance I left Hakuei in Raffaele's care and went looking for my other acquaintances. Raffaele was all over Hakuei, with his eyes though. I didn't care at that point because Raffaele has always been like that. While I seduced the young virgins, he seduced their fiancées. Dream team so to speak.

And since I was as always bored and annoyed, I had little too much to drink. I was bored of the people and its boring daughters, of their behaviour around me, nothing bore any fascination for me.

So I slumped down next to Hakuei on a couch in a corridor next to a balcony. Startled, Hakuei held onto his wine glass as he hadn’t seen me coming. I spread my legs wide and balanced my wine glass between two fingers. He didn't look at me. It was almost as if a block of ice.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” I couldn't help but to ask sarcastically as he was clearly not a party person.

Hakuei continued sipping but didn’t answer. I literally stared at him.

“Are you okay?” I asked seriously. He finally nodded and answered. “We should go home soon. It’s inappropriate to stay out this long.”

“What the hell are you talking about.”

“You spoiled brat.” Hakuei smiled and now I saw that his cheeks were all red.

“Are you drunk?”

“I admit I had a little too much wine. Your friend Raffaele kept refilling my glass.”

“That bastard… he likes you, you know.”

Hakuei choked. “What?!”

“Don’t be shocked silly.” I was really drunk too. “I get the girls and he usually took the boys. Although sometimes we are sharing. Sharing is caring.” I put the glass down onto the floor and swung my leg over Hakuei's, sitting on his lap. He looked at me surprised but unable to move in his tipsy state. “But you... I would never share.”

I hit the ground rather unpleasantly with my bud when Hakuei darted forward. “I’m leaving, What you’re doing, I don’t care.” He left the room and hasted outside the house.

As fast as I could in my also tipsy state, I followed him and shouted behind him on the street.

“Hakuei wait!”

He didn’t answer, his walking became even faster.

“Come on! You don't know the streets of Venice, you will get lost.”

And he really stopped. I jogged towards him and stopped next to him. He still didn't look at me.

“Is it so repulsive to be with another man?”

Hakuei looked down at me , again with this cold stare and although I hated it in the beginning, it strangely turned me on now.

“Where I come from, we don't talk about such things.”

“Ohohoooo,” I sing sang amused, now I got him. “Are you a prude?”

“Hakuei lifted up his chin. “Certainly not. Just proper.”

“Sex is never proper.”

“Yours maybe.”

“Are you calling me a slut?! Although I don't mind, it's true.”

“Are you not ashamed?”

“Me? Ashamed? Of what? Being what I am? Living the way I want? This is Venice and I can do whatever I want.”

I used the moment of his alcohol weakened state and shoved him into the next dark alley and pushed him against a wall.

“What are you doing?!” He asked in utter shock while he tried to push me away but I pressed with my knee against his crotch, pinning him there.

“Testing you.”

“Why?”

“Because you're pissing me off. Your all high and mighty act, I don't buy it to be honest.”

He hissed when I moved my knee closer up his crotch and his body responded beautifully. I didn't care that it was probably the alcohol making him horny.

“This is your lucky day. I will service you as our guest. You choose: Top or bottom?”

Hakuei looked back at me with this cold blue eyes, he almost whispered. “You disgust me.”

“Nah, you say that now. Because you’re my fathers new business partner, I’ll show you great hospitality.”

“DON'T TOUCH ME!”

But my hand was already in his pants, massaging his manhood painfully slow. He let out a husky breath and slumped with his arms over my shoulders. He hung his head low which made his hot breath caress over my ears, I too was so god damn aroused. I pushed Hakuei back against the wall and slumped down on my knees. I pulled down his pants and took him into my mouth. Hakuei tossed his head back sexily while I tried to take all of him which was rather difficult. I tasted him, sucked him so deliciously that my enthusiasm even surprised me. I couldn't get enough of him.

It didn't take long until he came and I spat it out before I moved up onto my feet again, pulling up his pants on my way up. I thought it would be more disregarding sucking a man off but I was proud. Proud that I’ve had total control over him although over a short amount of time.

When I looked up at motionless Hakuei, I was scared for the first time in my life from someone looking at me. He looked back at me like a wild beast.

Intentionally, I moved back two, three steps.

He turned silently and without another word spoken and left the alley. I didn't dare to follow him. I leaned with my back against the wall and slumped down, laughing, holding my forehead in disbelieve. I smelled like shit, behaved like shit..... for the first time I was very aware of the nothingness of my very being.

Both of us didn't attend breakfast the next morning. For lunch he was also missing and I started to worry.

“Father, where’s Hakuei?” I asked at dinner.

“He’s attending business in town. Getting ready for departure.”

This was not what I expected. Something inside me slumped. “Departure?”

“Yes, he said he has urgent business to attend to in London and will be leaving in two days.” Which was four days earlier than expected.

Of course I knew the reason of his early departure.

Hakuei returned to his guest room late at night. He threw his coat over one chair and wanted to light a candle. When he turned around, he almost got a heart attack and dropped the candle.

“Why are you leaving?”

Slightly melodramatic I must admit. I had waited in his room for his return since he didn't show up at all. He hold his chest in shock and breathed in deeply a few times. “What are you doing here?”

“Just asking why you’re leaving so early.”

Hakuei kneeled down and picked up the candle.

“Leave it dark.” I commanded.

He lay the candle aside and crossed his arms over his chest. “There are people who have to work for their money you know.”

I smiled in the dark. He couldn't provoke me anymore. So I stood up and walked over to him. He remained staying calm on his spot which I admired very much. He showed me that he wasn't afraid of anything, especially not me. His cold blue eyes followed my every move, I could feel it in the moonlight lid room. He had his arms crossed over his chest again.

“Leave my room immediately.”

“I’d rather not. To be honest, you fascinate me.”

Hakuei made a short laughter of disbelieve. “So the rich, bored kid wants a toy which he can never have.”

I hate to admit it but it stung a little bit. I narrowed my eyes and grabbed one of his strong arms. “Do you think I am so superficial?”

“I know you are. You are empty, a nothing.” He took my hand and turned it around, making me let go. “Ouch!”

“And now L.E.A.V.E.”

I slapped him. I didn’t know why but he let go off my hand and with tears in my eyes, I stormed out of his room. I stormed up the second floor to my room. Rage, hurt, a thousand emotions, things which I'd never felt before came all over me and for the first time I felt like breaking under my own weight. I realized it now: He was the one I wanted and could never have. He hurt my pride deeper than anything else before. He I wanted to have, to possess. But not as another possession in my drawers of garters, he was different.

I cried myself into sleep and hated myself for it. I never thought that I could cry so much. I never cared for other people, just for myself and now for the first time I was hurt. Today I know it was legitimate. He hold up a mirror and I truly saw myself for the first time. Today I’m thankful for it.

The following day, I locked myself up in my room and kept the curtains closed. I didn’t respond to my mother's calls, only when my father stood at my door I told him that I wasn’t feeling well. They left me alone.

The sadness didn't last long. I knew that I was a spoiled brat, shortly thrown off balance but I would never give in. I decided not to let him get away so easily. I always fought for what I wanted to have.

The next night I stood at his door and knocked.

“Come in.”

I was surprised about the positive answer and entered.

“I knew you’d come.”

“How so?”

“You’re stubborn.”

Hakuei stood up from his desk and turned around. His face was unreadable in the candle light while he stood there all tall and… sexy? His white shirt fit his muscular body perfectly, his long hair run beautifully over his distinctive face.

Hakuei breathed out. “Look, I’m sorry if I became too personal. I didn't want to hurt you.”

Well, clearly he wanted to hurt me but I couldn't care less now. I was more surprised about his apology because that was the last thing I had expected.

“You were right and I can't blame you for that.” I said.

Hakuei didn’t say a word. He was always hard to read and I hated not being able to _read_ him. I felt like dough in his hands, he was able to form me however he wanted. He completely saw through me and my manipulative games from the very start.

“So, you’re leaving tomorrow anyway?”

“Yes.”

“Please take me with you!”

His eyes widen in shock. “A-are you out of your mind?! What an unreasonable request is that?! Your father needs you here, you can’t!”

“Please, I want to learn from you!“

Hakuei gave a stern look. “You understand nothing, coming with such a childish request.”

I narrowed my eyes and walked towards him. He didn’t even move an inch. “Don’t I deserve a chance?!”

“Yes, here you have plenty of chances and you don’t see them! You don't use them!”

“But don’t I have a choice?”

“You always have. Make a wise decision.”

“I’ve made my decision.”

I touched his arms and glided with my hands down to his hands. I touched the front of his blouse and wanted to unbutton it. He hold my wrists.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I already told you. You fascinate me. I want you…”

“For your personal collection of conquests?”

I shook my head. “No, just for me. Is it selfish? Maybe… but I can’t help it.” I moved closer, smelled his odour on his neck and closed my eyes. He still didn’t move. I don't know if he stood still out of shock or weariness, probably the last. He was tired fighting me.

“I know you’re appalled by me but please give me this one night. The last night. You’ll be gone tomorrow anyway and we won’t see each other ever again. Please give me love, this once.”

Hakuei shook his head. “Love is something entirely else and I pity you for not knowing it.” I adverted my glance for a moment but he still hold onto my wrists and continued. “I must give you credit for your stubbornness though.”

He let go of my wrists and my heart started racing. I ran my slender hands over his muscular forearms which were still crossed over his chest and gestured them to open and hang aside. With skilful hands, I opened his shirt in no time and pulled it down from his shoulders. His body was a sight to see, even in the candle light. I ran my cold hands over his chest and touched his nipples. He sucked in his breath. His dark hair covered his eyes and ran beautifully at the side of his distinctive face down his shoulders. I leaned against him and placed a kiss in between his chest, smelled his skin before I moved back to walk around him. I touched this little space between his shoulder blades and he shivered by my cold touch again. I wanted to taste him, kiss him. I lay my lips onto his back and did so, once, twice. I moved to his side and took his hand. I pulled him to his bed and gestured him to sit down, only to push him down gently into the soft sheets and he did as I pleased.

I blew out the candle on the side of his bed, letting the illumination of the moon play on our bodies. Slowly, I removed my shirt and let it glide down my shoulders. He watched as I was totally naked. My slim body forming a shadow over him. I could feel my long, dark hair falling down my shoulders, making me feel vulnerable for the first time.

I crawled onto the bed and over him. My hands touched his hips, his stomach. He moved his head aside and averted his gaze when I pulled down his pants. He was breathtakingly beautiful underneath me while I crawled over his strong body up to his ear and whispered.

“Thank you.”

He smiled at himself as if he couldn't believe it. “No one ever thanked me for that….”

“Dilettantes, all of them.” I said fascinated and sucked on his throat, bite into it. He groaned. I left some hickeys on his shoulders and collarbone. Yes, I marked him.

I kissed my way up his chin and licked the side of his mouth, slowly over his lip and finally kissed him hungrily. I was such a slut in need of love. And he kissed me back. First hesitantly but the mood regulated his tempo and he responded eagerly. He moved onto his elbows and pulled me in tighter around my neck with one of his large hands, he was literally starving. I gasped for breath as he broke the kiss but only to move me onto his lap. I did the rest and played skilfully with his cock. He sucked in his breath again from my cold touch as I stroke him. While he held me close with one arm around my back, I felt his hot breath against my shoulder. I jolted out of utter surprise when I felt a hand starting to stroke me. I felt that he was close to climax but I wanted him, now. I stopped and felt his disappointed gaze on me.

“Not so fast.” I said unaccustomed breathless. “Let me do the rest.”

I moved over his lap and stood on my knees, teasing him. I pressed myself against his stomach and rubbed my hard cock on his stomach. I could listen to his husky voice and breathing all night long, he was so aroused that it was beautiful. Without further warning, I placed myself over him and slowly took him in. He glided beautifully into me, having his eyes closed and his mouth wide open, gripping into my shoulders forcefully. There was pain coming from everywhere which made it only more perfect for my liking.

“Ni~ya-“ He inhaled deeply. I started to move slowly, taking him in again and again. First slowly… then I rode him. He moved up and touched my cock. Now it was me who moaned together with him in unison. He stroke me skilfully and shoved hard into me which came so surprising that I came immediately against his stomach. His hands wandered down my butt cheeks to increase the contact and he shoved into me a few times before he also came hard inside of me.

I remained on him, both breathing against our shoulders but no one said a word. In that moment we both must have realized how desperate and dirty it has been but the difference was that I enjoyed it and Hakuei's soon returned reason would surely make him feel ashamed of it. Although I wouldn't bet on this act being his first with a man. The heat coming from his body was something I’d never experienced before and I clearly knew now that I wanted him. I wanted to posses him. No woman could ever give me this warmth.

Hakuei knew that and that’s why he left me.

I needed him too much, wanted him too much. I was never good enough for him because of my overpowering selfishness. He on the other hand was perfect in every way and thus completely out of reach for me…. He broke my pride. He broke me. And my heart was broken ever since.

I cried myself into sleep for weeks. He never came back and I was never the same person again. Parties, sex, life was never the same again. I had completely changed. Of course my parents noticed the change but my father never knew why I had become like this. I guess my mother maybe knew because Mothers tend to just know everything. After the long known pain turned into numbness, I inherited the family business and continued my fathers work together with a business partner. I even got married but just to get one of my children to inherit the family business. I never knew love but not because my wife didn't love me (or at least she tried to) but because I didn't let her.

I died 1623 as an old man because of the pest in Venice. 1/3 of Venices’ population died of the black death these days. My wife had left years before me, I even lost one son because of it. How or when Hakuei died, I never knew. The first time I ever saw him again was in heaven and although I told myself that it was an old story and long over, memories simply won't die. I know I have to overcome the past because we all have to…. and I can’t blame him for leaving me which makes me only more miserable. What I'm saying is that it’s just hard to see Hakuei together with Toshiya, his sparkling eyes, his admiration for him... It’s so obvious that it makes me sick. Hakuei is a far more developed soul than me. But what bothers me the most is that Toshiya is totally equal to him. They deserve each other and yet..... that's what’s slowly killing me inside.

If I still love him?

I can't tell.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Ni~ya slowly opened his eyes. Blurry he saw Ruka looking back at him. Although the room wasn't very bright, he closed his eyes again and whispering Ni~ya asked: “Ruka… what kind of an Angel am I without wings?”

He could literally feel Ruka stiffen on his chair next to the bed, he felt a hand on his arm.

“I’m so sorry Ni~ya… so terribly sorry. This should have never happened and I feel guilty for it.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” Ni~ya responded coldly.

“I know that we never had a good relationship but I want to trust God that there is a meaning behind every hard time in life, mortal and immortal.”

Ni~ya didn't answer, he couldn't. Not after all that had happened to him and between them. And after the long dream about his and Hakuei’s last life, he felt even more devastated on top of all of it. Why did this memories come up again every time he felt bad? He knew that there was still Karma between them but he couldn't change it now. He had to become stronger, mentally and physically before starting anything.

Slowly, he drifted into a light slumber when only shortly afterwards he heard voices from the entrance. Ruka talked with somebody and their voices became louder.... all he knew was that he would rather not see THAT person right now.

“How is he?” Someone asked and Ruka answered. “So nice of you to drop by Toshiya. Kai was here a while ago and he said that Ni~ya will be fine.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” A short moment later and Ni~ya still had his eyes closed, he felt warmth coming from the back of his shoulders and the healing sensation calmed him down immediately. HE let a few moments pass before he asked silently with closed eyes: “…why…. why are you doing this?”

Toshiya paused a moment before he answered. “Because I want to help you.”

Ni~ya laughed at himself. “You don’t have to help me….”

“But I will.”

Ni~ya shook his head. “You’re too good. Just like Hakuei….”

What happened next hit Toshiya like a shock. The moment he mentioned Hakuei’s name, all memories, pictures and feelings wandered through Ni~ya’s harmed energy stream into Toshiya’ s head within a moment. In shock, Toshiya jumped up from his position and Ruka looked surprised back at him.

“Toshiya? Are you all right?”

“I-I'm sorry. I have to go.” Puzzled and holding his head, Toshiya literally stormed out the room, leaving two speechless Angels behind.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

  
Down in the holy spheres of heaven inside the holy halls, heavy footsteps echoed down the enormous hall. A mighty group of four walked in perfect unison into direction Seraphim's conference hall. Angels moved back when the four Angels of the Elements, Kami, Kyo, hide and Mana made their way through them.

In front of the large doors to the meeting room, they hardly stopped. Kami gave one loud knock and entered immediately without waiting for an answer. The others followed and they looked into baffled faces of Seraphim Kazuki Seraph of time, Kai Seraph of Love, Light and Healing and Aiji Seraphim of moods.

“At last.... the tiring research came to an end. We’ve found something interesting about the prophecy.” Kami answered.

Kazuki already wanted to start yelling at Kami because of his rude entering, when he slowly started to calm down, thanks to Aiji Seraphim of moods who had to control heavy mood swings a lot these days.

“Sit down.” Kazuki gestured and the four Archangels sat down across the Seraphim. Kami lay down one heavy old book and pointed onto one page. “It’s only a small passage but very important…” He said out loud.

“…well for us apparently…” hide added. Kyo who sat next to him just glared.... or more like observed. Kai couldn't help himself but to notice his absence of mind the past few weeks. Sure, Kyo was never a big talker but absence of mind was a quality new to him. Kai wondered if everything was all right.

“It says….” Kami flew over the old lines with his finger. “… because ‘The Cross’ is a being able to wander all spheres without problems, it neutralizes the Elements.”

It was dead silent in the room when Kazuki shifted in his seat and dropped the hands onto the table.

“This means us.” Hide added cleverly.

“Do you know why?” Kyo looked back at Kami with a look Kai found almost threatening. Or maybe it was his imagination.

Kazuki spoke up. “As in the prophecy, the Cross is to be said a neutral creature, it makes sense than neither good or bad can influence it. Thus our powers as well as these from hell possibly won't affect it.”

Mana nodded.

Kazuki was deep in thoughts when he started. “From the very beginning the whole problem was that the Cross can't be discovered because it has to awaken first.” Kazuki looked up at the four Archangels but they couldn't quite follow his thoughts. “I'm sorry to tell you this but as ruler of the elements, you are heaven's only decoy.”

Kami stood up from his seat and Kai looked back and forth between the two of them while hide's mouth stood wide open and Kyo rolled his eyes.

“EXCUSE ME?!” Kami obviously. “You can't be serious!”

“You are joking right?!” Hide added. “This will endanger us all!” Mana and Kyo looked as if they accepted their fate already.

“IF,” Kazuki continued, “The Cross is really a neutral being then you have nothing to fear. You will have to contact us mentally upon its arrival or awakening straight away. This task will be handled by the Angel's of Revenge anyway and I am sure that Kamijo-sama will take part in it too.”

A moment passed before Kami continued: “What is your plan?”

“The next event where the Angels of Revenge are involved you will join them. Because if the Cross is near you will feel it first…”

“…. because our powers will disappear.” Kami ended his sentence.

Kazuki nodded. “Most likely. But I guess as soon as the Cross is eliminated or out of reach your powers will come back.”

Silence a moment before hide spoke for Mana. “You’re right. It’s a frightening thought.”

Kai wondered whether he was the only one against the idea of killing the creature, no matter what it was. It was Aiji who broke the silence. “Do you think ‘the cross’ will be able to use all our powers?”

“It’s said to be only a teleporter who neutralizes energies…. Or at least let us hope so.” Kazuki stepped back from the table and made his way to the door. “We have to talk to Metatron-sama about this.”

The Angels nodded. Kazuki, Aiji and the Archangels left the room together… just Kai stayed behind a little longer, just enough to grab Kyo's arm who turned around startled.

“Kyo. Wait….”

With a look that could kill, Kyo pulled his arm free. “Just leave it!” He snarled.

“What’s going on? You’re looking down lately.” Kai honestly wanted to know.

“Don’t pretend to care okay? Makes it a lot easier for me.” He made motions to leave but Kai hold onto him a second time and Kyo pulled free immediately again.

“Is it because…” Kai stopped saying it out loud.

“I told you to shut up about it!!”

It was harsh and Kai unused of being spoken to like that. He even had to collect himself and while doing that he wondered what happened to the calm and quiet Archangel. Now he was so..... angry and full of grief.

Kyo moved back into the hall closer to where Kai was standing, lowering his head for a moment before he looked at him with the side of his face only: “You know I wanted you for myself. And now your caring manner… it makes me sick. Our conversations will be limited to business only. And now go back to Kami, I’m done here.”

Kai was so sad how the whole 'thing' had turned out.... and it wasn't even his fault. It was such a difficult situation to handle and although he offered his friendship and kind heart, for Kyo it wasn't enough. He even made him feel miserable for expressing his true feelings.

“I’m sorry Kyo, I truly am.” It was an honest apology. But Kai had loved Kami since forever. It was only shortly that he discovered Kyo having a crush on him which was unexpectedly deep. And he only knew about it when Kyo told him presumably after a long time. No one except the two of them knew about it.

“Me too.” And Kyo finally left the hall and followed the others to Kamijo-sama. Hurt by Kai for being Kai and hurt by himself for having loved once.

Meanwhile, the Seraphim and Archangels had arrived in front of Metatron's hall, except of Kai and Kyo. Kazuki already wanted to knock on the door when it opened and a serious group of Angels of Revenge stepped outside in perfect unison, on the very front leader Kazu holding the Longinus spear.

They observed the group leaving Kamijo's hall in awe and everybody knew that this formation didn't bode well. Kami looked around when he finally found Kai standing silently behind him, giving him a reassuring smile with his eyes. Kyo on the other hand had followed slowly and Kami didn't like it one bit. It was then that Kamijo called them inside and they followed his order.

It was Kazuki, highest Seraph who spoke first. “Metatron-sama, is there anything we should know?”

Kamijo shook his head and said: “Heaven won't be unprotected if hell strikes. That's all you need to know right now. Why are you all here?”

Kazuki told about the Archangels findings and his plan to bring the Archangels together with the Angels of Revenge during their next mission to discover the cross because of the neutralizing effect. Not all Angels were pleased about Kazuki's plan, especially the Archangels but Kamijo was thrilled about the good news. They had no idea these past weeks whatsoever so even a tiny hint could proof beneficial. He agreed to Kazuki's plan and it took all of Kami's strength not to say anything.

The Angels whispered to each other while Kamijo went into detail about the plan with Kazuki when Aiji suddenly turned his head aside to listen very hard. Kai noticed it first and he whispered to him: “Aiji, are you all right?” Aiji motioned with his hand to keep quiet as he listened even harder. Fact was that he heard something the others did not, that was also when Kamijo stopped speaking as the invisible Demon Angel had warned him.

“Get ready Angels, we are having company!” Kamijo yelled and the group moved to stay close together.

“What's going on? Hide and Kyo looked around, not knowing anything while the others remained dead silent, waiting.

Meanwhile above the ground of the holy halls, the green grass started vibrating. Only slightly so that hardy anyone noticed. Toshiya was on his way back to Hakuei's place, still heavily disturbed about the vision he had received from Ni~ya, when an invisible force suddenly pulled him to the holy lake, Daisuke's water home, the separation of the spheres. He unfolded his wings and flew over to the portal lake. After landing, he already saw Daisuke looking out of the water. Toshiya ran over and slumped to his knees. “Daisuke, what's going on?”

“Unwanted visitors and I am not talking about the lower spheres here. Listen now Toshiya, we need to seal up heaven from the holy halls. This is an emergency!”

Toshiya nodded in utter stress. “Okay, all right. How, what to do?!”

“I already called for the Angel of Water, we need his help too,”

“Kami!”

Daisuke nodded. A few moments ago, Kami froze on the spot when his vision went blank, only to come to his senses moments later. “Metatron-sama, I have to go! The lake!” Kamijo understood and nodded. Kai squeezed his hand for just the split of a second before Kami whirled around and his overly long hair swung behind him while he ran and vanished.

“What's with him?” Hide wondered out loud and so did the others.

Kami arrived on the surface of the world where all young Angels lived inside the castle. He landed next to Toshiya who touched the surface of the water with his hand. Kami knew what he had to do but he never expected to see Toshiya there doing it. He understood the moment he knelt down and touched the water as well. For some reason Daisuke gave him part of his powers, most likely out of safety precaution. Daisuke touched their both hands and in this moment they were able to communicate in thoughts. Toshiya's eyes had changed into a red colour, as always when he used his powers.

At the same moment underneath the lake, the Angel’s of Revenge and some Cherubs came running into the holy halls to bring Kamijo the news. That was when they realized that there was a power concentration going on in the lake.

Kami started to feel weird. The water which was the main component of his immortal body started to tickle his spirit. Blue energy formed around the three of them. That was when Kami got rid of some of his clothes and stepped into the water.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Toshiya asked.

“I need to be in the water with Daisuke, you must stay on shore as water is not your main element, just take our hands.” They formed a circle. “That might sting a bit.”

_'See you later.'_ Daisuke said and they dived down with their heads while holding onto Toshiya's hand above the surface. He stopped moving and his vision went blank when an energy so strong shot through his body and at the same time leaving it again. Blue energy went through the holy lake and the surface started to freeze in no time. Ice formed from the outside to the inside, freezing the lake metres thick.... the energy was so strong that Toshiya thought it would kill him in one way or another. He lost the feeling of time, warmth left him.... and then everything went black. 

The holy lake was sealed shut, there was no coming in for intruders and the younger Angels of heaven were save.

Die stopped with his mouth wide open as through the ceiling of the holy halls he saw the holy lake underneath all frozen shut. He had never seen something like that before. In disbelieve, he looked at Kazu and Karyu who accompanied him to Kamijo. They didn't have to enter Kamijo's hall as he came storming out to look at the ceiling which was frozen. A group of Seraphim and Archangels had followed him.

Die stepped closer to Kamijo and whispered to him. “He’s here. Kirito, the son of the Dark Lord is here and he brought his closest confidants.”

 


	31. Chapter 31

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

Part 31  
  


_Looking for Angels_   
  
  


 

It was one of the most rare and mighty visitations ever. It was Kirito, the son of the dark Lord Atsushi himself, who stood in front of the gates to heaven with his two confidants Tsukasa and Uruha. Him coming to heaven had the same importance like the ruler of hell Atsushi coming in person. Kirito, his son, had all power and consent to act in the name of hell. Atsushi on the other hand wasn't interested in politics and never interfered. What he did in the dark wasn't know to anyone either. And since they couldn't enter heaven without an official invitation, the three high Demons stood in front of the gate to heaven, waiting for permission to enter.

“I think we scared them.” Tsukasa added dryly.

“I would be too.“ Kirito added but left his gaze on the stern looking Cherubim behind the gates of heaven. There was a slight turmoil going on and moments later, a wave of energy shook the sphere they were all standing in.

“What's going on?!” Uruha looked around. Kirito had felt it too and he knew. “They sealed the entrance to the lower spheres, security reasons I presume.”

"They can do that?” Tsukasa murmured monotone.

“Seems so.” Kirito added and he took a step forward when he saw Kamijo-sama coming closer to them to the gates of heaven.

“Quite a decent following, Metatron-sama.” Kirito greeted and he looked at all the Archangels, Angels of Revenge and some Cherubs right behind him.

“Same.” Kamijo replied. “I don't want to seem rude but to what do we owe the honour of your visit?”

“Maybe a word in private?” Kirito said.

“Of course. Hope you don’t mind if I keep two Angels of Revenge with me… just in case.”

Kirito gave a bitter sweet smile. “Of course.”

Kamijo invited them in, only then they were able to cross the border into heaven.

Tsukasa and Uruha followed behind Kirito and Kamijo. Kazu, leader of the Angel of Revenge and a second AOR, not Karyu this time, entered with Kamijo and closed the door behind them. The rest of the fighting class positioned themselves next to the doors as did the Archangels. Kazuki looked back at Aiji and Kai but they didn't say a word. The Archangels however observed the whole ongoing from a safe distance. Meanwhile, another very often spoken of Angel of Revenge, Karyu, had made his way back to the borders where his beloved Hizumi had witnessed everything. Leaning on his spear, Hizumi turned his head and through the black strands of his hair, his white eyes lay on Karyu coming closer, observing each of his steps until he had stopped right in front of him. Karyu knew Hizumi's quiet but petrified looks.

“This was the Son of the Dark Lord, together with Uruha and Tsukasa.”

Karyu nodded.

“You know that Tsukasa hates your guts for killing Zero and he won't stop until you or one of your beloved has paid for it.”

“I already paid for my sin, I was captured in hell and it was Kirito himself who set me free... with a little bit of persuasion I might add.”

Hizumi turned his look from Karyu to someone in the distance who came closer to them. It was Kazu, AOR's Leader. He stopped in front of the two of them.

“Congratulations Karyu. You’ve been invited to a chat with hell.”

Hizumi looked at him and Karyu nodded before he turned around to follow Kazu. For the split of a second, warm fingers touched his hand before the warmth left again.

  
Kirito and Kamijo sat in front of each other on a long table while their close confidants stood behind each of their leaders.

“A few things got out of control, on our behalf I must confess.” Kirito leaned forward on the table and leaned on his elbows, his leather clad hands squeaked with his movements.

“We are quite aware of the fact.” Kamijo answered.

“Hell and heaven had signed a peace treaty. Although it was Lucifer who attended, I am well aware of its content.” Kirito reminded him.

“Heaven will happily follow the contract if your part of the group keeps to it and stops attacking our young Angels on earth.”

Kirito nodded. “ I understand and I beg your pardon. Please believe me that it happened without my consent.” He leaned back in his seat. “Lucifer's actions will have consequences which we will deal with privately. Although I might remind you that one of your Angels of Revenge killed one of our mighty Demon's, Zero.”

“Yes. After Zero threatened an protégé on earth. Not to mention the possession of a Cherubim in heaven after Lucifer's last visit in heaven.”

Kirito narrowed his eyes but he knew about Zero's wrong doings. “I am willing to forget about Zero's eternal death if you forgive my underlings' wrong doings to your Angels on earth. What do you think?” Tsukasa balled his fists when he heard it but kept silent.

Kamijo thought about it. “This sounds all very well but I must ask you: Are you aware of Lucifer's plan? It's clear that he is up to something.”

“It took some time for me to figure it out but with thanks to one of your AOR, I became fully aware of Lucifer's plotting. Thus, his guilt is forgiven from our side.”

The door finally opened and Kazu stepped in with Karyu following. They positioned themselves next to Kamijo and Karyu bowed slightly with his head when his and Kirito's eyes met.

Kirito looked back to Kamijo.“Do you want me to repeat the story?” He referred to Karyu's imprisonment in hell and him giving the information about Sugizo building up an army.

“No, I know about the content.”

“As expected. Well Karyu, Angel of Revenge, you are free from your debt. You won’t be harmed by any Demons as long as you don’t harm any more of them. You have my word and I am sure that I have yours as well.”

“Of course, thank you.” Karyu gave a nod.

Kirito continued. “After all, we have more urgent matters to attend to. I came here for a new request concerning the cross discovery contract.”

Kamijo leaned forward to the table. “I might remind you that we've had enough trouble with hell residents already. Major changes to our contract will hardly be beneficial.”

“It’s the least thing you owe me for killing one of my high subordinates.”

Kamijo leaned back again, touching his chin. “Name your terms.”

“Both sides agreed to kill ‘the cross’ after its discovery or two volunteers from the finder’s side will die instead.”

Kamijo nodded.

“This is an old and mighty prophecy we are dealing with,” Kirito reminded them, “so most likely, there must be suspects. Angels and Demons with special gifts which could be possible 'carriers'. What I am suggesting is to seal these suspects into a special fortress on neutral ground, on earth, until the real teleporter has been discovered.”

“This is impossible! Riots and anxiety would definitely follow amongst heaven and hell residents! We would have to deal with more that we already have to!”

Karyu looked back at Kazu who carried a similar dark gaze.

“Why should we agree to such terms?” Kamijo continued.

“Because hell has lost its faith in heaven, that is. We haven't heard back from you on your research...”

“Neither did we.” Kamijo interrupted. The room became dead silent and both parties thought about the request.

“The fortress on earth will be guarded by Demon and Angels at all times until the prophecy is solved and all suspects will be freed.”

Karyu thought that the idea was not too bad. Maybe such radical actions will push the investigations. Kamijo must have thought the same as this strategy was not the worst hell has brought forward.

“We will agree to this new accord under one condition: A heavenly guard will accompany your demonic guards and one demonic guard will accompany our heavenly guards. We have to work together on this.”

Kirito nodded. “Then it’s settled. As fortress we suggest to use the highest mountain outside the town of Tokyo. We will bring our suspects together with our guards tomorrow evening. Can we count on you?”

Kamijo nodded. “Heaven will too.” He murmured to Karyu to bring Kazuki, Seraph and Angel of time, as he he witnessed and carried all contracts. After the Seraph arrived, they sealed the addition to the contract and this time, Kirito signed it himself.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
Hakuei was on his way to Shinya to look for Toshiya when a pang went through his heart and the atmosphere started vibrating for a moment. The energy was gigantic and the numb feeling of pain showed him that Toshiya was involved in all this. In disbelieve and utter concern, the Guardian Angel unfold his wings and he left the sky castle to land on the grass outside. He didn't have to search long as Angels were gathering around the holy lake in the distance.

A hand touched his shoulder and Hakuei jumped, only to find Shinya standing next to him, looking as concerned as he was. They both knew that Toshiya must be involved. A crowd started to grow around the lake and Hakuei started to walk quicker, until he began to run. He shoved Angels out of his way and stopped when he saw what had happened to the lake. On a bright, sunny day, it was completely frozen, icy dust circled through the warm air which made the whole scenery only more surreal. Shinya arrived and he looked at the unusual scenery in awe.

They made their way through the crowd until they saw a gathering of a circle. Hakuei started to run again, he made it through the group of Angels... and there he was, lying unconsciously on the wet ground, his wet hair all over his face while his hand was sunken into the deep ice, as if he was holding onto something. Hakuei stumbled to the ground, touched Toshiya on his shoulder, tried to shake him awake but no reaction. It seemed as if he was frozen together with the lake. He touched his face, his hair, screamed his name. It was Shinya who suddenly held him back. “Hakuei! Calm down! Can't you see?! It's his doing! Toshiya sealed it! Most likely with a water element. He will be back!”

He breathed out in agony, it was painful to see his protege in a position like this. The Angels around them stepped further back as Shinya told them to do so. He couldn't sense Die which meant that he must be sealed into the holy halls together with whatever arrived down there. Hakuei moved behind Toshiya's back and covered his cold shoulder with his arms. He screamed for him internally, trying to communicate with him mentally but it seemed as if the connection to him was frozen as well.

They sat there for about thirty minutes, when the sound of a deep crack echoed through the air. All residents looked over the portal lake..... through the ice cracks started to form. The noise became so loud until with a loud boom, the surface exploded and it rained water down again. Toshiya was freed from the ice and Hakuei pulled him back and into his arms. A second Angel started to flow up on the surface and by the movement of the long hair following, Shinya froze when he realized that it must have been Kami. Shinya slumped down to the ground and he reached for Kami, to pull him out of the lake. Next to Kami, the water creature Daisuke appeared and he helped to push Kami out of the water.

“Thank you.” Shinya said to him. He lay Kami onto his back and combed the hair out of his face. Kami, just like Toshiya, was still unconscious when a third Angel appeared right next to him. “Kai-sama!” Shinya said and he bowed to him.

“Shinya-san, thank you for looking after Kami.” Kai said and he slumped down onto his knees.

“But of course, you are welcome.” Somehow.... the whole scenery became somewhat private and Shinya excused himself and he stood up. In the distance, he already heard his name being called. He walked towards Die who came running towards him and almost lost balance from the strong embrace. “Die! I'm alright! How are you?”

“Fine fine. You won't believe what just had happened...”

Hakuei looked back at Toshiya when he felt movements underneath his arms. Like a fawn with its long limbs, Toshiya tried to move into a sitting and then a standing position.

“Toshiya.” It was more a deep whisper when Hakuei encircled his shoulders and face, buried him in his chest. The water which was still all over Toshiya had made Hakuei all wet as well. Clumsily. Toshiya combed his hair out of his face. “Is everybody safe?”

“I guess so. You sealed heaven from..... from what?” Hakuei moved back and Toshiya silently shook his head. He didn't know why they sealed it, only that they did it out of danger.

“I don't know. My head is still not... all there.”

With a quick movement, Toshiya gasped in surprise when he found himself in Hakuei's arms again. “First, we will bring you home and make you comfortable again.” He said it with the usual Hakuei poker face but Toshiya carried a strange melancholy within, whose reason he had forgotten.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Kamijo had ordered all Angels to leave his holy halls to think about future strategies and what possible motivations hell could have. To exchange thoughts, he had called his spy Demon Angel Reita into the room who had been present during the visit in his invisible state.

“Did you sense anything unusual?”

“To be honest, from all hell visitors I think Kirito is the one you can trust most. He is the only one with honour... and this Tsukasa. He is dangerous and motivated.”

Kamijo nodded.

“In retrospective, I think the suggestion with the fortress on earth, Kirito gave Lucifer the last possibility to plot against him. He is very clever. I can imagine they proceed like before, knowing about Lucifer's plans to bring Kirito down to fall, letting him believe that everything is like usual and at the given moment, Kirito will strike.”

“It complicates things even more.”

“I know.”

“Where do you want me to stay during earth's occupation?”

“You will stay in the fortress and report anything unusual to me immediately.”

Reita bowed down and became invisible, when it suddenly knocked on the door. Kamijo yelled to come in. Ruki entered with several Akasha-Chronicles under his arm. He placed them on the table in front of Kamijo.

“We have sealed a new contract to avoid a possible war. Suspects from heaven and hell will be sent to a neutral fortress on earth, to await a possible awakening of the teleporter. Each side will send guards down as well for the suspects’ protection.”

Ruki, with his deep gaze and husky voice said: “This sounds like preparing for a war, if you ask me.”

“We’ve had no choice.”

With one wave of Ruki’s hand, all the books opened on several pages. Some books, Kamijo was unfamiliar with but two books carried a familiar energy with them. Kamijo let out a breath. “Oh no.” Reita who stood behind Metatron all the time, looked down to the ground as well.

“So these are the Angels which have strange life structures or exceptional gifts?”

“So it is.”

Kamijo stood up. He couldn’t help it.

“Okay, thank you Ruki. I will advise the Angels of Revenge how to proceed.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

He looked through the shutters of a window on the first floor on a warm, sunny day. The white cobble stone pavement was beautiful next to the little stream which run through the streets in this town. A boat was bound to a pole and next to it stood a man with dark, shoulder long hair, his slightly brown skin tone a beautiful contrast to his white shirt. From the feeling of being observed, he turned around and looked up at the window....

With a loud gasp, Toshiya awoke from the dream. He moved into a sitting position and he covered his head with one hand. A memory.... he thought about it and slowly, all these chaotic pictures came back into his mind, just the way how Ni~ya unconsciously projected them into his mind during healing him. It was a dream, _his_ dream about Hakuei after living on earth.... and it tasted bitter. It was stupid and annoyingly human BUT shouldn't he have memories like that of Hakuei? In realization, Toshiya opened his eyes. Where did that thought come from? Toshiya jolted when he felt a hand on his back. “Hakuei....” He whispered.

“How are you feeling?”

“Okay.... I guess. Tired of course but apart from that.... _jealous_.... fine.”

Hakuei sat down on the bed as well and he looked from the side at Toshiya. “And now the truth please.”

Toshiya looked aside while he balanced one of his long arms on his pulled up knee. “Fine. Since you aren't going to tell me anyway.... I was with Ni~ya the other day, healing him. I didn't know that before but being connected like that with a soul, makes them vulnerable. Sometimes I can feel what they feel, see what they have seen.”

Hakuei stood up from Toshiya's bed in utter shock. A cold breeze went down his spine. He knew immediately what Toshiya was referring to and knowing that Ni~ya was still not over it, it made sense. “I'm sorry Toshiya, that you had to experience it like that. I feel ashamed. I should have told you.”

“Well but you didn't. God knows when or even if you would have ever told me.” A pause followed before Toshiya tried to reason. “You know, Ni~ya and I crossed paths so often, in heaven and on earth. It would have been so much easier to know from the start what had happened.... between... you two.”

Hakuei stood across the room on his window. It took him a moment before he answered. “In the past, I did things which I am not proud of. I was and still am under pressure to do the right things, to be a good example. I didn't want to burden you with it.”

“Well....” Toshiya stopped. “It hurt. You should give me more credit. I can handle it.”

Hakuei let out a breath of laughter when he turned from the window and came over to Toshiya on the bed again. He sat down next to him but Toshiya didn't look at him.

“Is that jealousy?”

“WHAT?! I don't even know what that is!”

Hakuei took Toshiya's hand. The mood had turned significantly and he liked the direction it was taking. “We should have been reborn a long time ago, only the two of us.”

Toshiya was speechless. He swore to himself to be mad at Hakuei but now he was flustered! “B-but we can’t. I have to help here.”

“I know Totchi... and it's not the right time.” His tone changed from his drop dead flirty attitude to a stern one. “I’ve got a bad feeling Toshiya. About all of this.” Toshiya nodded. “Me too.”

And at the same moment, every Angel got a vision projected into their minds. It was from Metatron-sama.

 

“ _Our dear Children._

_By now every one of you souls have heard about the ‘Cross prophecy’. Heaven had to seal a contract to keep peace in both of our lands. All Angels must stay in heaven until further notice and from tomorrow on the borders will be closed. No exceptions will be made. Several Angels will be asked for their cooperation. We bid you to come down into the holy halls after hearing your name. We are in control and do not despair in fear. Heaven has always been and will always be._

_God loves you.”_

 

Hakuei still held onto Toshiya's hand and he looked at him. He needed his warmth so much right now. These days, it seemed as if everything slowly started to be swallowed up by chaos and nescience.

Toshiya froze for a moment before he let go of Hakuei's hand. He moved to the corner of the bed.

“Toshiya?”

“I have to go. Kamijo asked for me.”

Hakuei stood up from the bed as well. “I'm coming with you.” Toshiya didn't say a word. He stretched out his hand and when Hakuei came closer, he took it. Together, they left for the holy halls. Not knowing what was about to come.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Kami woke up to the mumbling noises of strangers around him. The sunlight dazzled him and his angelic body felt heavy and wet. He couldn't make out features as his gaze was still blurred. Slowly, memories came back into his mind.... _sealing of the portal lake.... Daisuke and Toshiya_.... with his eyes still closed, he felt a shadow moving in front of his vision and darkening the dazzling sun. Now a hand touched his cheek and cared over his wet hair. More mumbling noises.... he tried to open his eyes again and slowly he started to make out features. He lifted his arm and touched the face which was in his reach.

“The most beautiful Angel found me.”

Kai blushed when he touched Kami's hand. “How are you?”

“I am feeling like all the water masses crushed into me within a millisecond.”

“Sounds normal to me, knowing you.” Kami smiled and he withdrew his hand to lean on his elbows. Kai helped him up from the ground and lifted Kami's heavy arm around his shoulder.

“I will bring you home.”

“Thank you.” Kami said and Kai dismissed the remaining Angels around the lake as polite as possible.

Kai opened Kami's door in the sky castle and the tall and heavy Angel stomped into his apartment in which he lived alone. He dried himself off the water and changed into a loose shirt and trousers.

“It was great what you, Toshiya and Daisuke have done. Even I have never heard of such a thing, freezing the lake.”

Kami smiled across the room to Kai who was leaning against a wall. “Business secret.”

Kai touched his forehead. “I shouldn't be here. Kirito and his close consultants were here, the contract has been renewed and-”

Kami said nothing. He didn't know about the changes and right now he didn't care. He walked over to Kai, pulled him away from the wall with one arm and held him in a strong embrace close to himself. He smiled against Kai's lips: “I don't care, as long as you are safe.” And he kissed him forcefully, made the smaller Angel gasp and weak in his arms. Kai leaned against Kami and smelled him, his fingers played with the long strands of Kami's hair which sent little impulses to the tall Angel who loved it very much. He lifted Kai up with one of his arms and carried him over to his bed. He lowered the mighty Angel on his bed and as he lay there, Kai looked so fragile, so young, yet they were classes and centuries apart.

Kami kissed the palm of Kai's hand and looked him in the eye. “I love you so much. Why can't we be reborn on earth? I want to have a big family with you, have history with you. I want to rediscover you in any possible way.”

Kai blushed from both of their overwhelming feelings and he reached up to Kami's face and touched it with both of his hands.... and they felt heavenly. Kami closed his eyes.

“Please don't make me dream of all of that. You know I want that too but my position in heaven is too important.”

Kami nodded slightly. “I know. And for me it is enough to have you here with me every day.”

Kai smiled. Although they didn't share an apartment yet, one day when all of this was over, they would. “Let us hope that Kamijo approves of-” Kami didn't let Kai end his sentence when he lowered down and kissed him deeply, pulled him close into him around his nape. Smelled him, felt him, tasted him. “He will approve or I have to force him.”

Kai smiled against Kami's lips and he giggled when Kami's cold hands wandered deeper all over his angelic body.

  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Metatron-sama stood inside the holy halls not far away from the borders to heaven. The Cherubim behind him guarded the gates as usual. Several Angels of all classes started to arrive and gathered in small groups, wondering what Metatron's message was all about. He meanwhile stood like an old statue, observing and counting the Angels who where still missing. It felt like the calm before the storm and even he, after fighting in so many wars over the centuries, felt like bringing the lambs to a slaughterhouse.... it was terrible. But he didn't show it. Everything was planned, signed, calculated. A space where there was no room for feelings and sentiments.

Hizumi and Die stood at the borders with their spears, looking at each other in disbelieve. Even they had no idea what the higher sphered Angels had planned together with Kirito the day before. Hizumi contacted Karyu mentally and the AOR responded in no time. He of course knew what was going since he had a first row seat to the planning and plotting of heaven and hell. He promised to be there in no time.

Die tried to reach Shinya but felt that he was blocked out which wasn't really beneficial to what was going on anyway. Hakuei and Toshiya arrived and although Toshiya didn't let go of his hand since leaving home, instead of being happy, Hakuei was rather concerned about the cold pressure of Toshiya's bony hand. His knuckles where white and knowing Toshiya's different stages of silence, this was his baleful one. Somehow it seemed as if Toshiya knew something that he didn't grasp before.

“Everything's gonna be all right, I will be there.” Hakuei murmured and Toshiya looked at him with a sad smile. All Toshiya knew was that Kamijo requested him to be there but for what purpose, he didn't know.

The two of them turned around when Shinya arrived and Toshiya looked at his former mother in utter surprise, as if saying 'You too?' Shinya nodded and tried not to look into direction borders since Die was standing there. Hizumi hold the red headed Cherub back when he wanted to storm over to them but he was on duty.

“Shinya, what's going on?” Toshiya still hold onto Hakuei and tried no to look like a scared puppy although he felt like one.

“I have no idea but I guess Kirito's visit must be a reason for this. Have you been called too Hakuei?”

The blond looked strangely back at Shinya, then at Toshiya. “What? You have been called? Like personally?”

Shinya widened his eyes, realizing too late that Hakuei didn't know about this. “Everything's gonna be okay, I'm sure of it. At least, we are together.” Shinya rubbed Toshiya's back.

Hizumi on the other side of the hall jolted when Karyu suddenly touched his shoulder as he arrived silently. “Karyu!”

The much taller Angel looked over the gathering crowd of Angels, felt the tension of nescience in the air. “Well done Metatron, this is going to be chaotic.” He murmured to himself.

“How come that you of all Angels know what's going to happen?”

“I was there during the meeting remember?”

“And?”

“We will see.”

Metatron looked through the crowd and counted a last time before he cleared his throat. “My dear Angels, I must apologize for summoning you here unprepared and without any further notice. As you might have guessed, new arrangements have been made with the Dark Lord's son Kirito yesterday, concerning the inauspicious prophecy about the teleporting creature.”

Murmurs in the crowd and many scared faces who looked up at Metatron.

“As a fact, we still don't know about the creatures whereabouts, how and when it could strike. It could be everywhere. But no matter which side finds the creature, heaven and hell have to deliver it equally.” Metatron spared out the detail about its annihilation. “Our dear Archangels researched for any possible lead and we discovered very little. Now it was hell who suggested to deliver possible suspects to a neutral fortress down on earth, to Tokyo to be exact.”

The crowed became loud, Angel's started shouting, complaining, even crying.

“This can't be true.” Hakuei stammered when he pulled Toshiya close to himself, held him encircled while his eyes lay on Metatron. Shinya and Toshiya remained composed for their beloveds' sake. Their gaze met for a short moment before Shinya found himself in a similar hugging position.

“I won't let you go down to earth, not alone!” Die arrived and he hold onto him tight. It was outrageous.

“He can't be serious!” Hakuei complained and Die agreed.

Metatron had troubles to go on speaking so he shouted out loud for attention. “The fortress on earth will be guarded day and night from our Angels and hell will send their Demon soldiers as well. Not only suspects from heaven will be kept in custody, suspects of hell will follow as well. The stay on earth lasts until we have found the creature of the prophecy.” But this didn't make it any better.

“This is a farce.” Karyu said and Hizumi asked him. “Will you be there guiding the captives?”

Karyu nodded. “Of course I will be there.”

“Please be careful.”

Karyu looked down onto his beloved who showed a similar poker face. Out of the blue, he pulled him close and kissed him onto his hair. “You too” And he walked off to the crowd where the sorting of the Angels began.

“Why did they pick the two of you as suspects?!” Hakuei was close to getting frantic and Die was joining the club. It was Shinya who answered. “I guess because of our special gifts.” Hakuei's grip around Toshiya tightened and he tried to surpress his trembling. It was Toshiya who reached up and touched Hakuei's forearms which reached around him.... they both didn't say a word.

Metatron called out the names and the Angels stepped forward.... some bravely, some with a lot of tantrum. It was then that Toshiya let go off Hakuei and stepped forward. Shinya positioned himself next to Toshiya, looking at him with a sincerity that gave him unbelievable strength. At least, they were together. Toshiya smiled at himself at the turn of these strange circumstances. “Like old times ne Shinya?” Toshiya looked at him and smiled, referring to his last lifetime on earth which was equally horrendous. “Like old times.” Shinya smiled and when their names were called, they stepped forward bravely.

Hakuei wanted to hold him, kiss him, tell him so many things but it was Toshiya's strong aura which didn't give him that freedom. He was an example through all his brave actions and even in times of crisis, he didn't want to show any weakness. Hakuei of course gave him that space. He let him go silently although it hurt very much to leave him alone in this uncertain crisis.

Shinya and Toshiya arrived in the line of a handful of Angels, waiting for the Metatron and the AOR to proceed. Karyu and his fellow AOR positioned themselves behind the chosen gifted Angels. And while he stood there, he gave Die and Hakuei an assuring look: That he will be there, at all times.

“An applause to our brave Angels who will assure heaven's peace through their brave actions.” Metatron said and the noise was overwhelming, blending out the scattered crying and weeping. It was just surreal.

^I'm watching you, always will! I am your Guardian Angel.^ Hakuei communicated while he looked at his beloved's back who was passing through heaven's borders.

^I know. It gives me strength. Please don't be sad. We will be fine.^

The Angels in the distance started to dissolve and Hakuei wasn't sure whether his messages are still going through but he said it with all his heart. ^I love you.^

And the Angels, together with Metatron and the AOR were all gone.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
  
The remaining three Archangels Kami, hide and Mana gathered in their researching spot at the library in heaven, going through the ancient texts a last time for coming up with a plan. Since Kyo was gone without further notice, the three of them had decided that it was their time to act. Mana looked out of the window and observed heaven. Absentminded, he stretched out his hand as if he tried to feel the air. He was the Archangel of Earth and although wind wasn't his element but Kyo's, he felt the balance of the four elements slowly changing.

Hide and Kami looked back at Mana as hide added. “Imbalance, I can feel it too.”

Kami nodded. “This little air head, how dare he leaving us in a time like this? Do you guys have any idea why he left us now?”

Hide shrugged but it was Mana who looked almost in disbelieve back at Kami. Mana never spoke, he only communicated in thoughts which meant as an Archangel of the earth, he felt and intuitively knew things others didn't. As a matter of fact, he was the only one who knew about Kyo's obsessive infatuation for Kai.

A soft knock on the door to the library followed and thought of Seraphim entered.

“Kai, what brings you here?” Kami said surprised.

“Are you all aware of what happened in the holy halls?” Kai leaned against the table and looked at the three of them.

Kami shook his head. “We had to deal with our problems since Kyo can't be found.”

Kai said nothing. Since their last confrontation he hadn't seen Kyo either.

“What happened in the halls?” Kami asked.

“Metatron-sama and a respectable number of the Angels of Revenge went down to earth to seal a group of chosen Angel’s into a special fortress outside Tokyo. They are all carrier of special gifts and thus suspects to be carrier of the prophecy. Hell agreed to do the same, they are also sending a number of suspects and guards to earth.”

“Dear Lord.” Kami whispered and the other two weren't less surprised.

“What can we do?” It was strange for Kai as a higher ranked Seraphim to ask Kami as an Archangel what to do. “I am a healer, my hands are tied.”

“What are the rest of the Seraphim doing?”

“Kazuki and Aiji are waiting in the holy halls for Metatron's return.”

Kami looked over to hide who gave a wicked smile and Mana who just nodded silently. “Then it's settled.” Kami smiled at Kai. “We are going down to earth as well.”

“WHAT? Kami but our orders…”

“What orders? Sitting here and waiting for something to happen? According to the prophecy it is OUR powers which neutralize when the cross is about to be born or in our vicinity.” Kami started packing their stuff together and hide already waited at the door. Mana followed.

“Be careful.” Kai said. Kami touched Kai’s cheek and looked intensely at him. “You too.” Before he followed Mana and hide out of the halls to go straight over to the borders.

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

Songs to this chapter:

**08 – My profession is your decline** (Demon's theme)

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--GkEfOH-L4&index=8&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--GkEfOH-L4&index=8&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

**10 – The bruised soul**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJBkYPO67K4&index=10&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJBkYPO67K4&index=10&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 32

 

_Heaven and Hell on earth_

 

It was a surreal, beautiful sunset when Metatron arrived on the mountainside outside Tokyo with his Angels. It felt like a strange silence before the storm and no one dared to break the silence with a spoken word. Only quiet whimpering escaped now and then from the freshly separated Angels. Karyu didn't leave Shinya's and Toshiya's side, he was always right behind them and it gave Toshiya a secure feeling. In fact, he didn't feel as weak and shocked as he might should be. He got used to the drama which seemed to be a constant companion and besides, he wanted to be strong, for Hakuei and Shinya.

Their last conversation repeated like an endless tape in his mind, Hakuei's last words.... _I love you_... yes, he heard them. And he carried it like a shield with him. It gave him an unknown deep feeling of being loved and strong. Of course he loved Hakuei too but these words being his last ones before separating seemed.... very strong.

Kamijo looked around the spacious area. The fortress looked like an old rebuild castle out of stone, equipped with the finest of 21st military technique. Inside and around the area, Demon and Angel soldiers would be positioned while their precious cargo will be kept inside in single rooms. Closed of course. The sight of this large compound scared the younger Angels even more. Now seeing the building and its security made it only painfully clear what was to be expected.

In the distance, Kamijo saw Kirito coming closer to them, accompanied by Tsukasa and Uruha. Behind them Gackt followed, Leader of the Demon soldiers and Kazu's most hated equal. Kazu kept his poker face and so did all the other AOR. Behind the Demons, a group of suspects followed as well. While the majority of young Angels looked mostly afraid and shy, the Demon group was rather annoyed, loud and had to be silenced now and then.

Toshiya still hold onto Shinya and his grasp tightened when he saw Miyavi and Yuana among the suspects. He knew immediately that this must be a fraud. A clever move from Kirito do get rid of Lucifer's close confidants.

“Welcome Kirito-san.” Kamijo started and the Demon greeted as well. “I see you brought your suspects as well, containing Lucifer’s personal counsellors?”

“For many reasons they are main suspects.”

“I see. So how shall we proceed then?” Kamijo asked Kirito.

Kirito hold Kamijo’s strong gaze and answered. “Each suspected Angel and Demon will get its own technically high developed cell inside the complex. Demons will stay guard at the Angel’s quarters and Angel’s will stay guard at the Demon quarters.”

Kamijo nodded and with one gesture of his hand, the two leading creature’s of heaven and hell entered the fortress with the guards and the suspects behind them.

Karyu whispered at Shinya and Toshiya while they entered the complex. “I will look after both of you as much as it's possible. Scream for me if you need me.”

“Thanks Karyu.” Shinya said and Toshiya tried to force a smile.

Meanwhile, a few metres away inside the trees and bushes, the Archangels had arrived at almost the same time and were hiding, observing the whole ongoing.

“Did you see that?” Hide whispered over to Kami and Mana. “And now?”

“We will stay here and observe the ongoings.”

“Sounds like a good plan.” Hide mocked. “We can't stay here for days, sooner or later the guards will discover us.”

Kami looked with narrowed eyes back at hide. “Do you have a better idea?”

Hide looked over to Mana. “Yeah Mana, we will see. Maybe we can sneak into the fortress but right now….” The three of them looked over to the heavily guarded fortress. “Maybe not.” And they kept on waiting behind the bushes.

Inside the fortress, the suspected Angels and Demons were separated and each one put into a special kind of technically high developed cell. On the left side of the building the Angel’s were imprisoned and on the right side the Demon suspects. The Guards of heaven had their own common room in the Demon quarters and vice versa.

The Demons didn’t retard very much, not counting complaining but the Angels were scared and crying because they were very much afraid. Shinya shivered while Toshiya tried to stay calm although he was kind of in the mood of crying too. But maybe he was used to hopeless scenarios by now, nothing he was ever involved with came easy. He gave Shinya a sincere look before they were closed into their cells next to each other. At least they weren't in separate houses.

“This is insane.” Karyu whispered to Kazu while they observed the Angels getting locked away.

“I know.”

The thick iron doors were closed and light switched on inside the cells. The cell looked mostly like a modern prison cell with a bed inside. But with no window and no water since they needed none of that anyway. What was interesting to observe was the fact that as soon as the Angels re-entered earth, they all appeared with their 'dummy bodies' which made them look more human like on earth. Although they had no mortal functions.

Toshiya sat inside his cell and looked at his hands, his legs and he remembered the time inside his apartment on earth, the people he met. Sakito, Taro... and of course Kaoru. Only God knew how he was doing, who was looking after him now. The only thing that comforted him was Shinya's energy which he felt only slightly through the thick concrete wall. Surely because they were family. This bond could never be destroyed.

When all Angels and Demons had taken their positions, Kamijo and Kirito met outside for a conversation. “Since our contract is running and in tact, may I ask what happened with Lucifer?”

“Sugizo will be punished for treason when all of this is over. He wanted to bring me to fall and plotted against us. With Karyu's word I was finally able to understand and act. Sugizo is imprisoned right now.”

“I see. And now you’re working with Tsukasa and Gackt, Sugizo’s helping hands?”

Kirito smiled devilishly. “You see… they had always worked for ME.”

Kamijo nodded. He understood. Seemed like everybody’s got an ace up his sleeve these days. Like him with his Demon Angel Reita who was invisible inside the fortress right now.

“But there’s another thing we have to talk about…” Kamijo added. Kirito stopped in his tracks and looked with a cold glare back at Kamijo. “What?”

“Since Lucifer and me signed the peace treaty in the first place, another higher ranked Demon has to resign the whole deal. We only signed the suspect-addition the other day.” What Kamijo was referring to was that Kirito had to sign it.

“I’m aware of the fact.”

“Then you will surely agree to resign the contract right away.”

“Never let a single chance slip.” Kirito nodded and a moment later, Kazuki appeared. The Seraph who carried and witnessed all contracts. Together they entered a security room inside the fortress.

Kazuki, the six winged Seraph, stretched out his arms and the contract appeared right in front of him. He lay it down on the table and it was the first time for Kirito to see it. He had only heard of it via Sugizo. Kirito read the contract and paused when he saw the name’s written on it. “Sugizo signed it and…. Uruha?”

“Something wrong?” Kamijo read the contract as well and saw his and Kyo’s signature next to Sugizo’s and Uruha’s.

“Uruha has never signed a treaty for me…” But Kirito knew immediately whom to suspect. “Miyavi.”

“What?” Kamijo asked him.

“He’s a form changer, a very talented one I might add. He signed the contract in Uruha’s stead… hoping that he might fails and dies.” Kirito narrowed his eyes into a murderous glare. Sugizo was as good as dead to him. With one wave of his hand, Uruha’s name disappeared and Miyavi’s name appeared on the paper instead. Kamijo opened his mouth to retard.

“But you can’t possibly change-“

“I didn’t change it. Just recovered the real name of the Demon signing it. You’ll have your witness Kamijo.” And Kirito signed the peace treaty instead of Sugizo.

If the cross or teleporter gets reborn in heaven, heaven has to kill it within a day or a witness of them will die. If the cross gets reborn in hell, hell has to kill it within a day or a witness of hell will die. That’s the condition.

Kirito nodded and when they were done, Kazuki sealed the contract in his ‘can of time’.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

The tension in the air around the fortress was thick and heavy. Anxiety, sadness and mischief weighed heavily in the silence of the night. Perfect conditions for the Demons around the fortress.

Uruha and Tsukasa talked with Közi and Yu~ki about the change of shifts for the following days. While Tsukasa tried to make his point clear, Uruha remained silent. He turned his head aside and listened to something he thought that came from behind the bushes. He gave a nod and left the discussing group behind. The noises stopped as soon as he started moving. He looked from the bushes back into the dark forest, searching in the darkness for a living sign. His cat-like eyes scanned the surroundings while he stood still.

Then, with an unnatural quick movement, he darted forward and grabbed something behind a bush. He pulled the creature out of it and hold it high up in the air around its neck.

Uruha narrowed his beautiful eyes into a deadly stare while he examined the young Angel. When he felt no danger coming from him, he dropped him and with a gust of wind a golden spear formed in his hands. He pointed it at the neck of the Angel. Uruha was a similar kind of deadly silent like Tsukasa was, no wonder he guarded Kirito with his life.

“You are… a fallen Angel.” Uruha addressed the little bundle cowering on the forest ground. “Name.”

“N…Ni~ya.”

“What are you doing here? Are you a spy?”

“No! Just lost.”

Uruha pointed at Ni~ya's back with his chin. “Your wings… who took them?”

“Miyavi.” The name was like acid in his head. “I wish to revenge him.”

Uruha slowly pulled his spear back but stayed in a safety position right over Ni~ya. “He has been taken care of.” He stepped back. “Stand up.” Ni~ya hesitated and Uruha who wasn't accustomed to wait, grabbed him around his throat and pulled him back up, pulling him out of the forest with him.

“Ack! W-what a- you doing?” Ni~ya tried to speak but it was hard with a strong arm around his throat.

“Bringing you back to your superior.”

“No!”

Uruha stopped in his tracks and he looked at the fiddling creature at his arm. “What?”

“Please don’t bring me back. I wanted to leave…”

Uruha looked at him with no emotion. “And where were you heading?”

“Ahm… you?”

Uruha narrowed his eyes and breathed out in realisation. “No way. I don’t need a minion.”

Uruha let go of his throat and steadied his spear on the ground. “You’ve got the worst timing ever… do you have any idea what's going on here?” Ni~ya slumped his shoulders again but didn’t answer. “It will seem as if hell persuaded you to follow us.”

Ni~ya looked back at Uruha and his eyes were sincere. “I can make my own decisions! I am no Angel and never have been!”

Uruha looked annoyed aside. “Well, maybe I’ve got someone you could help…”

“Really?”

“We have to be quick as negotiations between Kirito and Kamijo will soon be over. I will hand you over to Közi. Follow me.” Ni~ya did as been told and they walked up to Yu~ki and Közi which were still talking to Tsukasa.

Tsukasa stopped talking and looked at the fallen Angel behind Uruha. “What’s this suppose to mean?”

“He wants to serve us.”

“Is that so?” Tsukasa stepped closer and grabbed Ni~ya’s face to look closely at him. “I’ve seen you before. You were harmed by Miyavi that day….” Ni~ya lowered his gaze but Tsukasa kept on holding his chin. “I don’t care, whatever. If he wants to change sides…” Tsukasa let go of him and pushed him over to Közi. “There Közi! I’m sure you’ve got a place to fill in.” Közi smiled and with a nod, Közi and Yu~ki disappeared into thin air, taking Ni~ya with them.

At the same moment in heaven, Ruka felt how an ice cold gust ran through his immortal body and it felt as if something was ripped apart from him. There was no pain but the feeling of complete loss followed and in that very moment he knew that something terrible must have happened with Ni~ya.

Ruki, the Kindel Angel and keeper of the Akasha-chronicles, stopped writing with his quill when he saw a single book moving out of the endless shelf and setting itself on fire, burning with blue flames. Ruki stood up and intuitively he knew whose book it was. Another Angel who was lost to hell.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

  
Kami returned from his secret patrol around the fortress to the hiding spot of the Archangels. He was quite absentminded about what he had just witnessed when he saw Uruha and Ni~ya in the distance. He didn't say it out loud but Mana caught the thought and Hide said it out loud. “Changing sides…”

Kami nodded. “Every Angel lost is one soul less in heaven.” It pained them, all of them because the population of Angels think of themselves as a great family.

“And we are hiding like criminals. Like this, we can do nothing!” Hide mentioned and Mana wasn’t very happy about their circumstances either.

“Maybe because you are?” A strange voice behind the three of them said out loud. They turned around startled.

“Karyu?! What are you doing here?” Hide questioned.

“Scanning the environment and look what I've found. So, what are your plans?” Karyu looked at the three Archangel’s and wondered. “And where is your fourth member?”

“Missing.” Hide answered. Karyu looked surprised. “Strange.”

“Guess you can say that.” Kami added. “And for the plans… there are no plans. We’re observing if anything happens.”

“What a great plan. Is that all?”

“Not exactly. The prophecy says that the Elements will loose their powers when the cross awakes. So we’re like…” Kami said and Hide ended. “Indicators.” Mana nodded and Karyu looked more confused than ever. “Aha. That’s new to me.”

“Well now you know. And what are you planning?” Kami asked.

“Dashing inside and setting the whole place on fire?” Karyu stated matter of factly. “Sooner or later, I will rescue my family. They are captured inside.”

“Absolutely not! This will bring war all over us just because you want to save them. That’s very selfish!” Kami argued and Karyu pretended to think about it. “Hmmmm….. you know what? I don’t care! There will be war anyway.”

It was Mana who held him back on his arm and he communicated with him in his thoughts. Whatever Mana had told him, it calmed Karyu down.

“Okay. I will join you as a fourth member. We will be the eyes and ears around here until the very showdown comes.”

The four of them heard a noise in the distance and they ducked down behind the bushes. They observed the entrance of the fortress while all four Angel’s had their powers reduced to a minimum to not attract any unnecessary attention.

Kamijo and Kirito seemed to have finished their conversations and Kirito disappeared together with Uruha and Tsukasa while Kamijo returned with Kazu and some other Angels of Revenge into the fortress.

“Can’t believe that Kazu follows all that shit.” Karyu hissed.

“He’s got great responsibility.” Kami added.

“What kind of?”

“The AOR are very important for heaven. Now imagine: If he doesn’t follow the rules who else will?”

Karyu thought about it and slowly seemed to realize. “Fucked up situation.”

“Ahm, yes.” Kami added.

Meanwhile inside the fortress, Toshiya was sitting on his bed and he concentrated on Shinya. A few moments ago he heard Shinya sobbing so he concentrated on him and pictured Shinya’s face. And then... he got him!

^Shinya?!^

^Totchi! You got me!^

^I did it! How are you? Don’t cry. We will be fine. I’m sure of it.^

^I hope you are all right. But this is like a prison!^

^Yeah. Can’t imagine that Kamijo has ever thought of that.^

^Yes.^

^Let’s try to stay calm and if we need each other, we can talk like that.^

^Yes, I’m so glad.^Shinya answered.

Toshiya stopped communicating when a loud heartbeat filled his head and his mind went blanc for a second. ‘ _Kaoru_ …’ He felt him! Now! Of all times! Their bound should be separated. How was that possible?

^Totchi, are you all right?^

^Yes. You won't believe it but I just felt Kaoru’s heart beat.^

^It must be because you’re back on earth in a mortal-like body.^

But it felt so strong. ^Are you sure?^

^I … well, I think so.^

  
At the same time, in the same city and a few kilometres away, an elegant clad men stood on the rooftop of a skyscraper. The city lights danced on his elegant pinstripe suit and the cigarette balanced elegantly on his long manicured fingers. The wind played with his black strands of hair and the way he blew out his smoke seemed almost melancholic.

Almost a month ago Toshiya had left. In his room, only a note with a silly excuse about going backpacking... Kaoru never believed it. This was personal and he had an inkling that he was part of the reason why Toshiya left.

They had nothing and yet there was something there. A few stolen moments as he felt himself so drawn to him.... he did a lot for him. Protected him from his haters, kept him out of possible trouble. And he did that without expecting something in return, except his presence.... And now he was gone. It felt like months already. Scary, how quick you can get used to people.

The door to the roof top opened and another smoking person stepped outside. Kaoru turned around.

“Sakito.”

“I’m sorry boss. Haven’t expected you to be here. I will just…” Sakito wanted to leave again but Kaoru waved him over.

“I don’t mind. Just stay.”

Sakito nodded and he walked over to Kaoru.

“Are you all right?” Kaoru asked.

“Sure…” It didn’t sound very convincing. “Well…. Just a little melancholic these days although I don't know why.”

Kaoru nodded. “Must be the season…” He paused and the silence filled with meaning. “Well Sakito I wondered…”

The young man looked over to Kaoru. “Yes?”

“Have you ever heard of Toshiya after our trip to my family?” Toshiya had followed them back then although none of them knew how he had found out about it.

“Totchi?” No, I’m sorry. Neither of Ryutaro…”

“Ryutaro?”

“The short kid who came over quite a lot… they knew each other very well.” Another silent moment.

“How well?” Kaoru urged to know.

“Friends, good friends. Now that I'm thinking about it, they disappeared at the same time.”

“Do you think they eloped together?”

“Totchi and Taro.... no. I don't think so. Toshiya is a lone wolf and people who are in his life are lucky to be chosen to attend. At least that's the impression I got.”

“Well put.” Kaoru smirked and flipped his cigarette away. “Inform me if you ever hear of him.”

“I will.”

Kaoru already walked back to the door when he turned around. “You know tomorrow…”

Sakito nodded. “When?”

“We will meet at 9 p.m. on top of the mountain to settle the exchange with our neighbour clan. You will be driving the new Mercedes up there.”

Sakito nodded. “Understood.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

On earth, the Archangels had to rest more frequently then in heaven because getting accustomed to a mortal world again took quite some energy while Karyu as a constant wandered between the spheres was fine and used to it. In fact, he could go on for days without resting because the AOR were trained to do so. He ushered the three remaining Archangels to rest while he kept watch of them and the fortress in the distance. For a long time, nothing happened. Demon and Angel Guards kept patrolling the grounds.

Karyu moved to stand up when he felt suddenly felt something cold against his throat. He froze. A blade against his throat could kill his soul if it was supernatural and done right.

“Hello there.”

A voice smirked behind Karyu and the AOR cursed that he had no time to draw his weapon. The moment the creature had spoken, Kami opened his eyes and jumped up.

“Gackt! Release him!” Kami shouted and hide and Mana woke as well.

“My my, what bad spies you are. I can hear him blathering a hundred miles away.” He meant Karyu.

“Why are you out here Gackt? I thought you have to guard the candidates inside.” Karyu asked.

“I could ask you the same. Why are YOU here on earth, Archangels?”

Meanwhile in heaven. Kai, Seraphim of Love and Light, stormed out of the holy halls when a soft but deep voice stopped him in his tracks. “Kai.” The Seraph turned around and saw Kindel Ruki standing behind him.

“Ruki-sama!”

“I need to talk to you and the Archangels.”

“I wish I could do too but the Archangels are not here.”

“Where are they?”

“Well… it’s complicated. They are…” He stuttered. “Down on earth.”

“What? Did Kamijo order this?”

Kai hesitated. “Ahm… no. But there is a very good reason for them to be there….” Kai explained that they will probably feel ‘the cross’ through their elements being taken away or neutralized during its awakening.

“I see. But there is something more… disturbing.”

And Kai knew immediately who it was about. “Kyo…”

Ruki nodded. “Yes. His book burned too.”

And Kai knew what that meant. He had changed sides and betrayed his family, God and himself. Now of all times they had to loose Kyo.... and Kai felt so guilty. “You said 'too'.... who else left?”

Ruki averted his eyes, knowing Kai's involvement in the other Angel as well. “Ni~ya.”

Kai held onto his head and Ruki was afraid that he might collapse. He held onto Kai's arm and continued. “The Archangels have to return asap. A new wind Element has to be found or the whole balance of elements will break apart.”

“O-okay. I will get them. They will listen to me.”

“You better take an AOR down with you.”

“Is there any AOR left?”

Ruki nodded. “There are. And I will go to Kamijo and tell him all about it.”

Back on earth, the Archangels stood opposite of Gackt whom still held Karyu hostage. “I’ve heard about the Archangels’ great ability to ‘feel’ the cross if it gets reborn.” Gackt hissed behind Karyu.

“So what? Do you want to kill us before that happens?” Kami snapped.

“No. We will take you hostage…”

“Who is ‘we’?” Kami asked suspiciously.

Gackt still hold the large blade against Karyu's throat and out of the blue he said. “I don’t need you here.” And he slashed it across Karyu’s back, sending the tall Angel down to the ground. He had no wings on earth so they were not harmed but Karyu was cut deeply, he fainted after a few moves while hide and Kami yelled his name and Mana clasped his hand above his mouth in shock.

“It’s only fair. You see, he killed one demon and I take down him just to be quit.”

That moment, a holy light illuminated the sky and a six winged Angel came floating down and landed only a few meters away from the whole mess. Kai couldn't believe his eyes and he woke up from his trance when Kami yelled out for him. “Don’t come any closer!”

“Oh my God! Karyu!” Kai wanted to run over to them but it was too late. Someone hold a blade against his throat from behind and he made his wings disappear. Gackt, who was still next to Karyu laughed out loud.

“Nice of you to drop by.” It was a voice Kai would have never expected to hear and so full of hate.

“Kyo.” Kai stuttered in shock.

“I’m sorry Kai.”

“KYO!” Kami yelled over to him. “Release him immediately!”

“I don’t think so.”

Hide’s eyes started to change into a red colour. He was the Archangel of Fire and he knew how to put up a good fight. Hide stepped in front of Kami and Mana followed him. They both stretched out their arms together and murmured a spell. Kami stayed behind for now. The ground around them started to quiver from Mana’s ability to form earth. If necessary they would take Kyo down.

“What are you planning? Attacking an former Archangel with Archangel tricks?”

On Hide's forehead a strange pattern appeared and his glowing eyes became even more intense. The same moment, Gackt wanted to sneak out but Mana stretched his hand back out and sealed him to the spot on the earth where he was standing on. Now he was earthbound.

“We will take you down with Archangel tricks.” Hide answered with an inhuman voice.

Hide formed a huge orb of red energy while Mana concentrated on the earth. It was Kami who screamed behind Hide. “DON’T! You will harm Kai as well!”

“I will be fine! Do it hide!” Kai yelled over and Kyo behind him snickered. The air around them was thick with fighting energy. The ground shook from Mana’s power and when Kyo tried to move he felt that his feet were earthbound as well. Kyo was shocked. In the past he was resistant against Archangel’s powers but now he wasn't any more. He hold tighter onto Kai.

“Kyo please. Why are you doing this?” Kai tried to talk to him.

“Don’t give me that shit.”

“Your ambition seems personal. Why can’t we talk about this?” Kai’s voice was almost whimpering.

“Enough talking, now we have to act.”

“Don’t make things any worse Kyo.”

“They already are my love.” Kyo kissed Kai underneath his ear. “As I said I’m sorry. If I can’t have you, no one else will.”

And Kyo removed his blade and he pushed it into Kai’s back forcefully. Right through his wings’ nerve system. The blade came out of Kai’s chest and it disappeared again when Kyo removed it from the shivering body. Kai’s six wings reappeared and exploded into a sea of feathers and slowly, Kai slumped down to the ground.

It was a true nightmare and for Kami, everything played in slow motion in front of his eyes. Kai falling down to the ground, Kyo trying to move but being unable to do so. Kami screamed in a high tone which was so full of panic and terror that it sent a shiver down their spines. It must have halled miles away. He stormed towards Kai, followed by red fire orbs thrown by hide. Kyo didn’t try to move as it was senseless anyway. For a moment it seemed as if his eyes were glistening and his lips moved but no one could hear what he said. The fire orbs hit Kyo with such an intensity that he dissolved into eternity immediately.

Hide’s eyes stopped glowing red and also Mana’s dark gaze changed back. Hide had to steady himself on Mana’s shoulder while Mana had his hand clasped over his eyes. Even Gackt remained silent.

Fear overcame him in such a way Kami never thought it could be possible. He slumped down to the ground and picked up Kai’s lifeless body. He squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his head against Kai's head, his tears rolled down onto his hair. He stammered his name again and again, telling him to stay, be strong.... Kami pulled Kai closer to himself, buried his face on his throat, his long hair hung all over the wounded Angel. Kai slowly opened his eyes, he had difficulties to lift his hand but he managed to do it and touched Kami’s head. He whispered to Kami.

“We will be together in eternity…”

“But I need you here, always… please don’t leave me.” He stuttered and spoke in between tears which he tried to hold back but to no avail. Kai pulled up his head in pain… it went through his whole body and he knew that it would only take him seconds now. “I’m sorry.” Kai whispered with a shaky voice and tears in his eyes.

“Don’t go. I love you, I need you.”

“I love you too Kami.“ Kai stretched again and Kami felt that his body started to dissolve slowly… his features became see through.

“No, NO! GOD!”

It pained Kai more to see Kami like that than his actual injury. He stretched out his hand a last time and touched Kami’s face. “K-kiss me…” He chocked out. Kami bent down to Kai and while their lips met he felt them getting cold and soon everything he felt was air and a thousand butterflies flew around him, dancing into the sky. Kai had dissolved into eternity, into the light.

The Archangel hit with his fists against the ground, screaming for his Love to come back, the screams which filled the air were unbearable. It was Mana who finally dared to comfort Kami. The speechless Angel sank down to the ground next to Kami and he took the shaking Angel into his arms. Kami had a total break down and he just sank into Mana’s arms and closed his eyes. Hide covered his eyes with his hands. It was too hard to stand, to watch, to bear.

It was the Leader of the Angel of Revenge who finally broke the scene. Kazu and a few others came running to the fighting spot and they were surprised to see Gackt standing there motionless next to a harmed Angel who turned out to be Karyu.

Kazu stormed over to him but didn't try to shake him awake when he saw the wound. “Karyu, KARYU! Christ!” Kazu cursed and turned around to the others. “You AOR over there. Seize him!” Kazu pointed at Gackt. Demon guards had followed them but they cooperated when hide was screaming at them what happened.

“We need a healer. Kai?” Kazu said out loud but it was hide who touched Kazu’s shoulder and shook his head. “He’s gone.” Hide whispered and Kazu finally understood what the commotion was all about. He widened his eyes in shock when he finally heard Kami crying bitterly a few metres away into Mana’s arms. Kazu looked back at Karyu and saw that his energy was almost reaching point zero. It was too late.

“Toshiya.” It finally popped into his mind and Kazu stormed back into the fortress. The AOR looked surprised when Kazu stormed inside, followed by several Demon guards. Hammering against Toshiya's door.

“Toshiya!!!” And at the same time the keys could be heard.

“If you get this Angel out now…” One of the Demon Guards tried to intimidate Kazu. The Leader of the AOR turned around furiously and spoke with deep Anger in his voice. “And I will get this Angel out because he is a healer and needed, RIGHT NOW! And you better pray to God that my subordinate survives this or one of you is next!”

The Demon’s stepped aside and they observed Kazu opening the cell door and pulling out a startled Toshiya on his arm. Toshiya squeezed his eyes shut from the sudden bright, artificial light and he stumbled behind Kazu outside the fortress. It was in the middle of the night and the scene obscure and sad at the same time. Toshiya had no idea what had happened but soon he saw a collapsed Angel lying on the ground… the energy of this body almost gone. Toshiya slumped down to the ground and turned the Angel’s face to see it when he finally realized that it was Karyu.

“Dear God…!” Toshiya's hands shivered in shock and he slowly turned Karyu around onto his stomach to get better access to his back. The actions happened automatically. His shivering hands touching Karyu’s dying remains, an ever repeating nightmare where he was captured in. Toshiya lay his hands onto Karyu’s back where his wings would be. Fortunately Gackt hadn’t cut them off. Speaking of which… while Toshiya did his best in passing his energy into Karyu’s body, the AOR had Gackt imprisoned in the fortress as well. The Demon Guards didn’t interfere to keep a possible riot down because nerve’s where on edge anyway.

His energy was not enough. “I need another healer!” Toshiya screamed out loud. Kazu circled around him like a mad man. “Is there another healer?” Kazu screamed out loud.

“Maybe….” Toshiya realized. “Please get Shinya! We have to try!” Shinya was no healing Angel but mother of one and an Angel of Life who brought newborn souls into heaven. There must be something he can do.

Moments afterwards and to Toshiya it seemed like ages, Kazu came back with a stumbling Shinya behind him. Shinya stuttered behind him, asking what’s going on but the scenery needed no explanation. Toshiya called over to him. “Shinya! We must heal Karyu together!”

Shinya knelt down over Karyu’s dying body and automatically lay his hands next to Toshiya’s. “Just concentrate on his nerve system.” Toshiya said. Shinya did so and warm energy came floating out of his hands. It just happened automatically. Shinya gave his energy into Karyu’s body.

Out of circumstances, the other two Seraphim appeared in the night sky and they landed in the middle of the scenery. Aiji and Kazuki looked from left to right. On the left side Toshiya and Shinya tried to heal Karyu, surrounded by Kazu and several AOR and Demon guards while a little further away, Mana and hide knelt on the ground with a spasm shaken Kami. It was chaotic. Aiji first walked over to Kami. Of course they knew what had happened and they carried heavy on their loss as well. Aiji knelt down, his six wings lightening the sky and area around them. He lay his index finger onto Kami’s forehead and the Archangel fainted and his body became limp. Mana hold him in his arms. “The three of you better return home.”

Mana nodded and hide stammered ‘thank you’. Aiji waved two AOR over and the Angel’s escorted the three Archangel’s back to heaven and they disappeared from the scenery.

The moment they disappeared, a heavy wind started to blow and thunder could be heard. The weather started to change because of the imbalance, heaven was mourning a beloved Angel.

Aiji walked over to Kazuki who stood next to the healing couple. There was nothing they could have done. Shinya felt his mind and body drifting slowly away. He was no healing Angel and in fact Toshiya was doing much better than him. The young Angel gave his all because he would get Karyu back no matter what!

Kazuki narrowed his eyes and Kazu buried his face in his hands… he couldn’t stand it. Karyu was more on the side of the dead than the living. It was hopeless. The healing energy was a pure waste.

That moment another creature joined the group. Tsukasa appeared in the darkness and he walked over to the scene. Tsukasa gave a nod to the two Seraphim and he stopped next to the healing couple. Toshiya made sounds of exhaustion and his face was marble white… giving so much energy into a body. Shinya stuttered something when his strength gave in and he fell backwards onto the ground. Toshiya shouted out his name but it was Aiji who caught him.

“Your energy is senseless. He was harmed with a poisonous blade.” Tsukasa muttered. He leaned down and touched the harmed spot on Karyu’s back. Toshiya removed his hands in reflex. The coldness and aura of death slowly decreased and warmth came back into Karyu’s body. Tsukasa removed his hand and he spat something onto the ground. “Poison is gone.” The Angel's who knew about Karyu killing Zero a long time ago always thought that Tsukasa carried a grudge against him but him helping Karyu was a very noble act.

“Thank you Tsukasa. Thank you very much.” Kazu shook his hand before he turned his attention to Karyu and Toshiya. Tsukasa added. “Gackt and Kyo were wrong in harming them.” Pointing out that he knew of the Seraph’s loss. The mighty demon nodded and he walked over to Aiji and Kazuki. Tsukasa looked at the bundle in Aiji’s arms. Shinya needed to be brought back into heaven for recovery.

“We need to bring this Angel back into heaven.” Aiji tried to defend his decision because Shinya used to be a cross suspect. “Surely you can see that this Angel is free of suspect of being a possible cross carrier. A cross would have been stronger.”

Tsukasa nodded. “I don’t mind you bringing him back. What interests me is: Why where the Archangels down on earth?”

“Can we discuss that in private tomorrow? When moods and feelings got settled a bit?” Kazuki negotiated.

Tsukasa thought about it. “I will bring my Lord Kirito and you may invite Kamijo-sama as well.”

“Of course.” Kazuki ended the conversation and the two Seraph's disappeared together with fainted Shinya back into heaven.

Tsukasa waved the Demon Guards over to have a word with them in private. They mumbled something and the guards ran back into the fortress. Moments before he'd arrived, Gackt was brought there and sealed into a cell as well.

Tsukasa watched Toshiya and Kazu bending over Karyu and the AOR slowly opened his eyes.

“Karyu?” Toshiya asked and he was full of joy when he saw his corner of the mouth moving. Karyu coughed out loud. Toshiya hold onto his hand and Kazu shook his head in disbelieve. “Glad you’re back old friend.” Kazu said.

“… me too.” Karyu answered weak but alive.

“How are you feeling? Any pain?” Toshiya wanted to know.

“Pain?… been to hell and back….”

“Oh just wait until Metatron-sama gets to us…” Kazu added.

“Great.” Karyu muttered and he closed his eyes when he felt Toshiya laying his hands over his wing-spot on his back. It was so warm…. Kazu touched Toshiya on his shoulder. “Karyu will be fine. We will return to heaven right away.” What Kazu meant was that Toshiya had to return into the fortress again. Kazu didn’t want to tax hell’s nerves any longer.

“We will be back tomorrow. You won’t be alone here on earth.” Kazu went further on. It was strange for him to show compassion. Toshiya turned to him and he nodded thankfully.

This night must have changed all of them. And he feared the night because now he was all alone in the fortress. Toshiya slowly removed his arms and his eyes changed back into their normal brown colour. Karyu moved into a sitting position. Slowly but he managed to do it on his own. He pulled Toshiya into his arms and hold him close. He whispered to him. “You’re the best son a father could ever have.” Toshiya started sobbing on Karyu’s shoulder and the older Angel cared him through his hair. “I will miss you.”

“Please send mum my regards.” The younger one whispered back. “And Hakuei.” It broke Toshiya’s heart thinking about him. He missed him.

“I will.” Karyu kissed Toshiya onto his forehead before he stood up. Toshiya did so too and walked over to Kazu and with one last nod he was brought back into the fortress. Before they reached the fortress, the Demon Guards came back out together with some AOR. Tsukasa looked astonished and the Demon subordinate whispered something to him.

“WHAT? Are you sure?”

“What’s the matter?” Kazu wanted to know.

Tsukasa looked troubled. He went into the fortress himself and Kazu followed him together with the rest of the Guards. Karyu and Toshiya stayed outside and waited for Kazu to return. Tsukasa stormed over to the very back of the fortress and cursed when he found the last cell empty… broken. Gackt’s cell.

What on earth? What was going on with Gackt? He always served Kirito well and now this night… as if he wasn’t…. himself?

And tires finally started to work and everything seemed clear. Tsukasa waved three Guards over and gestured them to open Miyavi’s cell. If he was correct then…

The Guards opened the cell and the Demon who was in it was the one he had guessed. Gackt. The real one this time, in Miyavi’s cell. When did that treacherous Demon exchange himself with the real Gackt? That meant that Miyavi wounded Karyu and he had a deal with Kyo… who is unfortunately gone now. The guards removed the gauze from Gackt’s mouth and the metal chains from his hands and feet.

“Finally!” Gackt inhaled deeply. “Thought you would never come…”

Tsukasa narrowed his eyes. “What happened?”

“I was kidnapped earlier this day. But I don’t know why. Every time I asked he only gave me his insane laughter!”

Tsukasa wondered if Sugizo still had any contact to Miyavi which seemed plausible. Yuana however was still inside the cell next to Gackt because Tsukasa could feel his animal soul in there. This made absolutely no sense. Why wouldn’t Miyavi free Yuana as well? Tsukasa got the feeling that there was much more going on.

Meanwhile, Kazu commanded two AOR to guard Karyu back into heaven and Toshiya back into his cell as well. A loud thunder outside made the Angels and Demons jump inside the fortress. Tsukasa looked surprised at the sudden change of weather.

“Hm.” Was all Tsukasa said. Heavy rain set in and a loud and heavy thunderstorm broke loose.

“It's the Archangel's imbalance. We will get that sorted as quick as possible.” Kazu said.

“I see.” Tsukasa looked sternly and turned around, ready to go. “I want you to keep an special eye on that healing Angel of yours. Kirito and Kamijo will arrive tomorrow.”

“I will too.” Kazu answered and Tsukasa disappeared. He liked Toshiya and it made him sad that he might be in trouble.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
Kamijo stormed out into the holy halls when the got news that the missed Angel's had returned into heaven. He looked at the two Seraphim Aiji and Kazuki and Shinya who was unconscious in Aiji’s arms. Kami who was unconscious in Mana’s arms, next to him a devastated hide. Karyu arrived as well together with two AOR who escorted him back to heaven.

They were all struck by grieve and speechless. No excuses were made, no words of explanation followed. But it wasn't necessary, Kamijo knew. Kai and Kyo were gone. The Elements were in imbalance. The silence which grew between the icy stare of Kamijo and the arrivals was hurting. More than any words. Metatron gestured the AOR from heaven to seize Karyu.

“You will be hold in heaven until negotiations with hell are over. Which means: Lasting unknown.” And the AOR grabbed Karyu on his shoulders and arms. Karyu didn’t struggle neither mutter a word and the AOR dragged Karyu away. In the distance, a shocked Hizumi came running towards them. He had heard of them returning just moments ago from another Cherub but Die hasn't heard of it yet.

“CHERUB! You stay at your position and don’t you dare disobeying me!!!” Kamijo's words were threatening. And Hizumi turned around with one deep bow and with one last glance at Karyu he returned to the borders. Then he saw Die running towards them and Hizumi grabbed him at his arm and hissed at him. “You will return with me NOW or I can’t guarantee for your safety!” Hizumi hissed at Die.

“But-!”

“NO BUT!” Hizumi dragged Die behind him back to the borders. “I have never seen Kamijo that mad before. You better believe me!”

Die became quiet and Hizumi felt sorry for him. “See, the Seraphs are looking after Shinya. He will be fine.” And the two of them returned to their positions. On the other side of the hall, Kamijo wasn’t done with the other Angels. He nodded to the Seraphs to go back into their territory and they disappeared together with Shinya. He walked over to the devastated Archangels.

There they stood with heads hung low. Mana’s face full with sadness, hide with slumped shoulders and unconscious Kami in their arms. His angelic body was harmed deeply from shock and right now the weather was breaking loose on earth. The quartet of Archangels has to be completed again.

“Come with me.” Kamijo said and the two Archs followed him into the Archangel’s private halls. There Mana lay Kami down onto a red velvet couch and he sat down next to him. Kamijo bent down and touched Kami’s forehead to feel his energy. He narrowed his eyes and looked at Mana and Hide. “I’m so sorry for our loss. It pains me as well.” He paused before he continued. “I'm afraid we have no time to grief because of the imbalance. I elected a new Archangel of Wind, it's Shizumi.”

Mana and hide looked surprised at the Angel who appeared in the doorway. Shizumi entered with a low bow and Kamijo gestured him to come over. “Shizumi, former teacher Angel for the protégé and now promoted to Archangel of Wind. He is very wise and strong.”

Shizumi, an old friend of Shinya’s, bent down to the other Archangels. “I’m pleased to work with you. I know I can never replace your former colleague but-“

“Bullshit. You will be better than him.” Hide answered and Shizumi was surprised from his choice of words. Mana communicated in his thoughts and Shizumi got a lovely message from him.

“Thank you very much Mana-sama.”

Mana gave a quick smile before his expression went back to normal again. Their attention was on Kami who seemed to have fallen into a deep slumber. Kamijo moved around the four Angels. “Are you ready to be reunited?” The three of them nodded. “Then please hold onto each others hands.”

The three Angels formed a semi circle and Mana and hide took sleeping Kami’s hands to form a proper circle. Kamijo stretched out his hands and bright light extended from him. Energy shot through the four bodies and their elements reunited and formed a new union. The Archangels were on balance again. On physical level that is.

Slowly, Kami opened his eyes and he looked into four sorrowful faces.

 

 

 


	33. Chapter 33

Songs to this chapter:

**11 – -rebirth-**

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siSw4eS9WZQ&index=11&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siSw4eS9WZQ&index=11&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC)

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 33

 

_Freed of time_

 

 

By an invisible urge, Kamijo excused himself from the Archangel's to make his way back to his private halls. His angelic spy had returned from earth and wanted to talk to him. On his way out and inside the holy halls, he saw the two remaining Seraphim lightening a candle in memory of Kai. They created a memorial spot there which was covered all over with the most beautiful flowers. They prayed together and held onto each other as if they kept each other from falling apart. It was a very private moment and although Aiji as Seraphim of moods never showed any feelings, this time it seemed as if Kazuki was holding the other Angel up.

  
Kai's loss was unbearable, even to Kamijo. He stopped in the middle of the hall and closed his eyes. He concentrated on something and murmured some words. Then he held up his arm and bright energy shot into the air and a sparkle of thousand stars shot through the whole sky and rained down onto the Angel’s world. A memorial for Kai. Aiji and Kazuki turned around and they bowed to Kamijo. He nodded back and acknowledged the moment before he continued his way into his hall.

For a moment, he held onto his forehead and closed his eyes when Reita made himself visible. Clad in his long dark cloak and his nose covered with the piece of cloth, he floated closer to Kamijo and communicated with him in his thoughts like he always did.

‘Unfortunate news from earth. During the fight of the Archangels with Kyo and Miyavi who disguised himself as Gackt, Karyu got badly wounded too. Toshiya and Shinya were allowed to help healing but it was Tsukasa who saved Karyu from eternal death.'

“Well, that's a pleasant surprise.”

'Miyavi escaped though and imprisoned the real Gackt who was immediately freed. Tsukasa was there during the incident but even he doesn't know what this was all about.’

‘I see…’

‘Shinya was allowed to return to heaven because his powers turned out to be limited during the healing of Karyu. The suspicion grew on Toshiya.’

“Not Toshiya again. To be fair, I never met an Angel with this many talents. Let's hope it is only a suspicion.”

'Most likely, there will be a meeting with you and Kirito-san on earth about what had happened today and how to proceed in future.'

Kamijo breathed out annoyed. “Well I can imagine. Now Reita, go back to earth and stay hidden inside the fortress. Report any changes to me immediately.’

And Reita vanished into thin air.

Determined, Kamijo left his hall for his next mission: He was searching for Shinya. He was so fragile and returned into heaven with Aiji unconsciously which was also very alarming. Kamijo couldn't bear to loose another important Angel, he was determined to save Shinya. The sleeping Angel was inside the Archangel's halls and when Kamijo entered it, he was quite surprised to find Aiji sitting there despite the circumstances.

“You are here?”

“Yes. I kind of feel obliged to look after him since....” He didn't say it but they knew that he meant 'since Kai is no longer here'.

“How is Shinya?”

“He will be fine. Right now he’s just a little exhausted.”

“And you?”

Aiji shook his head. “Kazuki and me will need some time for our selves.”

“Of course.”

Kamijo stepped closer to them and Aiji made space when he saw what Kamijo was planning to do. He reached for the sleeping Shinya and picked him up in his arms. Aiji looked astonished.

“You’re taking him with you?”

“Yes. It’s necessary.”

Aiji nodded and with one last nod Kamijo left the Seraphs’ hall and he walked straight to the end of the holy halls into Ruki’s office. Die looked utterly surprised and shocked when he saw sleeping Shinya in Kamijo's arms. All he knew was that he was summoned here mentally by Kamijo. Of course Ruki knew why they were here.

“Metatron-sama! What happened?!” Die stormed over and Kamijo let Die take Shinya into his arms.

“Shinya was involved in a fight but as a healer, together with Toshiya. Since that is not his speciality, he lost his strength and was released as prophecy suspect. Since Shinya's gift to bring newborn souls into heaven is too precious, I have to get him out of this conflict. They may freed him today but we don't know how negotiations will turn out the following days.”

Die had an inkling where all that was going to.

“Right now the two of you are safer as mortals in human bodies. You will be reborn asap.”

The Cherub was speechless by the sudden change of situation and that was when Shinya slowly woke up, murmuring Toshiya and Karyu's name. To be honest, it stung deeply in Die's heart. In fact, every time he saw the three of them together it kind of hurt and that was because Die and Shinya didn't have that connection through a child.

“Use this time for yourselves.” Kamijo instinctively knew what was going through Die's mind. The Cherub nodded. Die brushed strands of hair out of Shinya’s face and the fragile Angel held onto Dies hand immediately.

“Die, you are here.”

“Of course I'm here. I never left you.”

Kamijo cleared his throat before the moment became too personal and Shinya only slowly realized that he was in strange surroundings. He looked around and found Kamijo and Ruki looking back at him. He made motions to slip down from Die's arms and stood onto his own feet.

“What's going on here, what happened?”

“You overstrained your powers.” Kamijo answered. “Karyu was healed and brought back to heaven while Toshiya still remains on earth. You were freed from being a cross-suspect and now we are here to save you. Die will accompany you.”

Shinya's gaze stuck on two books in front of them… two HEAVILY familiar books. “NO, NO WAY! Don’t tell me! These are our Akasha-Chronicles!” Suddenly he was all there. “Kamijo-san, Die! What’s going on?!”

Kamijo stepped in front of him. “I’m sorry Shinya. But I won't loose another precious soul. Right now, the safest place for you will be on earth in a human body. And your soulmate will be at your side and protect you.”

Die squeezed Shinya’s hand. “It was a surprise for me as well…”

“I guess you can say that…” Shinya stated matter of factly. “But what about my son, friends…”

“You will see them again soon. You know how short a mortal life is. Now you have to take care of yourself first.” Kamijo smiled. He lay his hand onto Shinya’s shoulder. “See you soon Shinya and be careful. Enjoy your time on earth.” He looked over to Die. “Please take care of my friend.”

“I will.”

Kamijo looked at both and with a last smile he touched Shinya’s cheek for a swift moment and left Ruki’s office with a nod.

“Well then….” Ruki started. “Kamijo chose a beautiful life for the two of you….”

“Well.. he better did…” Die muttered and got a hit into his side. “Ouch!”

Ruki opened the two Akasha-Chronicles and handed them over to Die and Shinya to read. They read about their life plan and after they were done, they signed it. “Now I’m asking you to stand opposite each other during the mind sweeping process.”

Die and Shinya did so.

“Ready?”

They nodded and Ruki turned around and sealed Die’s contract first in the book with his sign and then Shinya’s. Die looked with a warm, lovingly glance at Shinya. Giving him the feeling that everything’s going to be all right. Shinya wanted to touch him at least a last time but it was forbidden during the reincarnation process. Die’s body became see through and his memories were literally stashed away during the upcoming time on earth.

Shinya felt the grey veil clouding Die’s memories and in his gaze he saw how Die lost his memories of them, of everything.... it hurt every time witnessing it. A moment later, Die had vanished and he was gone to be reborn.

It was Shinya's turn next and he lost the feeling of time and his consciousness. A moment later, he was gone as well.

“Have a good life. See you soon.” Ruki whispered behind the two of them as feathers exploded in the air and rained down onto Ruki’s office floor. He looked around and breathed out loud.

“… will never get used to this….” And he stomped over the beautiful white feathers back to his desk and closed the Akasha-Chronicles.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The mighty fortress of hell was a strange and widely unknown place for outsiders. Only the dark Lord, his sons and confidants were allowed to reside and work from the inside. The halls were long, deep and dark, the place in itself so strange because no sounds could be heard. It was a constant dwelling, a strange feeling from within these halls.... which suited the mighty Demons quite well.

The silence was broken by heavy footsteps on thick old carpet. Kirito was on his way to the lower accommodations of the fortress, he was followed by Tsukasa and Uruha.

“You will have to attend a meeting with Kamijo on earth this evening.” Tsukasa reminded him.

“I know about the incident.” Kirito made an annoyed sound. “It was Kyo’s idea to join Sugizo, not mine. Heaven shall not blame me for their loss…”

“Well their loss was great. One Seraphim was killed through Kyo's hand too.”

“So that was the change in energy earlier.”

Uruha recalled and added. “On top of that: One Angel joined our sides just yesterday.” Now Kirito stopped and he turned around to look at Uruha. “Are you serious?! In this unsteady times?! Who?!”

“His name is Ni~ya, a low ranked fallen Angel, a former protégé and Guardian Angel. Közi’s looking after him.”

Usually hell couldn't care less of another fallen soul added to their party but under these circumstances it was rather unfortunate and not well thought through. Uruha should have refused him.

“And you accepted him?”

Uruha nodded insecure.

“If that’s gonna cost peace with heaven, I will have your head on a silver plate.”

Kirito always meant what he said and Uruha knew that, he lowered his head deeply. The Dark Lord turned around without another lost remark and continued his way, his two servants following. They entered through a heavy door and the air became musty. They passed several empty cells which were too dark to see anything behind the bars. Then they reached another heavy iron door which sealed their special prisoners.

”You wait outside.” And Kirito entered the room alone. Artificial light was switched on and the figure crouching in the far corner shrieked by its brightness. Kirito walked straight to the glass wall which separated him from Lucifer and picked up a chair on his way, dragging it behind him nonchalantly, the noise of metal scraping echoed through the room.

“Hello Sugizo.” Kirito started and the locked away fallen Angel looked at Kirito with a stern, unfriendly gaze. He didn't respond which made Kirito wave with one hand and Sugizo slammed into the wall hard. There he remained floating, hold by invisible force.

“Let's get this straight. I came here for answers not for child's play.” A dramatic pause before Kirito continued. “Demons and Angels are dying like flies these days.”

Sugizo looked unmoved.

“So, you are still plotting with Miyavi behind my back?” He asked with a forced calmness. Sugizo grimaced but remained silent which triggered Kirito's impatience even more. Another wave of energy made Sugizo cry out in pain.

“Go… on….” Sugizo finally said with an exhausted voice. “Torture me to eternal death but no matter what you do from this point on... I will.... still win.” Sugizo's laughter sounded positively insane and Kirito simply dropped him to the floor.

“WHAT are you planning?! Speak or I will kill all your subordinates, one by one.” Kirito hissed at him.

When no answer came but a smirk, Kirito hold him up again but this time his energy concentrated on Sugizo's throat which made it even harder to communicate. Wave after wave of pain set in and the torture became almost unbearable. Sugizo had his eyes squeezed shut and the communication came mentally in thoughts. ^We were all ready to die.^

“FOR WHAT?!”

^It has already begun.^ An insane laughter. ^You are too late.^

And Kirito dropped Sugizo again to the floor. He stood up and the chair fell over from his sudden movement. Without any further comment, the door closed behind him with a loud bang and Sugizo was left in the dark again.

Kirito stormed out the dungeon, followed by Tsukasa and Uruha up the castle. It was more than obvious that their talk wasn't successful and the tone in Kirito's annoyed voice showed it too. “KÖZI!” He yelled and in an instant Közi appeared right next to Tsukasa. He and Yu~ki were beings which operated more in an invisible state.

“You’ll go down to earth and find Miyavi.” Kirito thought about Yuana too but the wolf was imprisoned as a cross suspect. As a form changer although he was spiritually talented, it was honestly not enough to be a suspect but it was Kirito's way of getting rid of another ally from Sugizo. “And take Yu~ki with you. As for our new addition to the family, the fallen Angel.... Imprison him until you’re back.” Közi nodded and he disappeared as fast as he’d appeared.

Kirito and his entourage climbed up dozen of stairwells until they came to the heart of hell's residence. Uruha and Tsukasa stopped in a waiting area instinctively, knowing that the lower ranked were forbidden to enter it. Kirito made his way alone inside, stopping in front of ridiculously high doors, knocking on them. After a moment, he entered.

The resemblance of old Gothic church interior was a mere mocking of the architecture on earth, the dominant colour was black and red. Footsteps were swallowed because of the red long carpet and the lit candles flickered boding ill.

Kirito stopped in the middle of the throne hall, looking up the large black throne. No one else except him was allowed to come here unannounced... although he was sure that his father, the Lord of Darkness summoned Sugizo here on a few occasions, especially after his fall.

It was as if the energy was sucked up inside this hall and a feeling of death and misery set in. He had arrived, the Lord of all who are fallen and damned, Atsushi-sama. He had total control of all lower spheres and lost souls. He was so important that he hardly ever left hell and thus left Kirito in charge of outside business.

“Father.” Kirito dropped to one knee and lowered his head. Atsushi looked from this throne down at him questioningly, his dark raven like eyes scanned him, his cool posture gave nothing away.

“Hello son.” Atsushi said coldly, the shadows of the hardly lit room played with his prominent features on his face.

“Father,” Kirito’s tone was bitter. “Things are getting out of control.”

“I know. In fact, Sugizo was right.”

It hurt hearing it from his father as well.

“There is nothing anyone of us can help it now.”

“I demand to erase him.”

“Declined. There is no need.”

“But why?!”

“The circle of destiny has been set in motion long before all this. Killing him now wouldn't change anything.”

“So we just have to sit and wait?”

“I'm afraid so.”

“His subordinate Miyavi killed Seraphim Kai.”

Atsushi looked surprised for a split of a second. “That’s not good. Where is Miyavi now?”

“On the run. I tried to get Sugizo’s plans to know but-”

“And what are you planning to do?”

“I sent Közi and Yu~ki up to earth hunting. You see, I’ve got no time since there will be another meeting with Kamijo this evening.”

Atsushi narrowed his eyes. “I left you in charge of business between heaven and hell. I can't and won't be bothered with lower ranks' trivialities BUT...”

Kirito waited.

“I will interfere if there is no more way out.” Atsushi stood up and pointed at Kirito after taking a few steps. “It is up to you to make the right decisions. I left you in charge of my affairs as you will soon take over the business.”

Kirito bowed down. “I know and I am honoured.”

“Then go and fulfil your duties.” And with that Atsushi dismissed Kirito who left the hall with more anger than he arrived with.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was a day later when Kamijo softly knocked on the door to the Archangels' hall. When no one answered, he entered and found Kami sitting at the end of the room on the red sofa, his elbows balanced on his knees. He stared holes into the ground and jolted when Kamijo was close enough to be noticed. Kami was alone which Kamijo disliked quite a bit. The others shouldn’t have left him alone, especially now when he needed company.

Kamijo sat down next to Kami whom reacted with a slight side glance and nodded in acknowledgement.

“Kami… how are you?”

Kami didn’t answer, he just shrugged.

“Where are the others?”

“…. In the garden.” And reading Kamijo's body language. “I made them go.”

Kamijo nodded. “Is there anything I can do for you?” It was a stupid question, one everyone used to ask and yet unbelievably senseless. Kami shook with his head. “If you can't bring him back... then there is nothing you can do.”

It was almost a whisper. “I'm sorry. I wish I could.”

Silence followed and even for Kamijo it was unbearable so he came out with the real reason why he was here. “I know that grief is something every person has to carry on its own..” Kami looked up and aside at Kamijo. He knew where this was going to. “I'm afraid we have no time left.”

“I know.” Kami welcomed every change gladly.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was strange what isolation did to people and souls. The idea of being a prophecy's suspect still seemed unbelievable to Toshiya, despite the many things he had learned and was capable of... it felt wrong. As wrong as being separated from everyone he loved. Knowing Hakuei, he must be out of his mind from the turn of events. They had barely been reunited when Toshiya was taken again from him, the familiar and long missed surroundings, his voice in the morning, everything. The smallest things in his life suddenly became so big inside this cell.... was Karyu okay? How was Shinya after returning into heaven? How were Ryutaro and Tadashi in their mortal life? And of course: What happened with Kaoru? Did he have a new Guardian Angel? The past mistakes became so big in Toshiya's mind, he could barely stand it.

The noises of the night came through the ventilating system. An owl in the nearby trees, cicadas making sounds… the nature was out there but he was captured inside this artificial light. He wanted to go home and he wanted to be with Hakuei again, his smells, his well spoken words and even more his silent but right reactions.

With the back of his hand, Toshiya wiped away some tears and it felt so human to do so. To be honest, he started crying since looking after Kaoru on earth, his emotions and actions became very human again after all this time in heaven. The idea of an reincarnation didn't seem so alien to him like it once did.

Toshiya dozed away on a wet pillow when a quartet of Angels arrived silently on earth again. The Archangels stood reunited in a security distance from the fortress. They were heaven's last weapon to indicate the possible arrival of the teleporter. They all knew that, Kami knew that and he was sure that Kai would have wanted him to complete this mission, to be strong for them and for the fellow Angels.

The night wind blew softly and their long dark capes and hoods fluttered with the soft night breeze. It was an eerie scenario, it felt like the calm before the storm. Lined up, the looked into the valley where the fortress stood and no one said a word.

Little did everybody know what was happening only a few mountainsides away. Next to a beautiful black Mercedes on a sandy mountain hill, Sakito pulled a cigarette out of his pocket and gazed down into the city.... the beautiful night line of Tokyo. He let out a breath and gazed aside when he saw a big black car pulling up the parking space and behind it another car.

Kaoru's security came out first to open the door for their boss. The neighbourhood clan's car opened as well. Sakito flipped away his cigarette and bowed deeply to both bosses. Kaoru looked around while he closed the last button to his suit.

Kaoru, with two bodyguards on each side bowed slightly and the other man did the same. They exchanged a few words and walked over to the cars, inspecting their trade. Sakito stood in safety distance now, together with some other men from the clan. For them it was rather boring as their bosses did the talking but they had to keep a business-like face at all times.... what distracted Sakito though was the noise and then the sudden movement from behind them inside the bushes and trees. The other men noticed it too and turned around to look too.

Some of them froze, some of them started to scream when a giant Wolf walked out of the darkness almost gracefully. The bodyguards pulled out their guns and when one started to shoot, the others followed..... but the wolf kept on moving! As if the bullets had all passed him magically. Sakito looked around in panic and he could have sworn that the mood in the air had changed... it almost seemed as if the floor was vibrating with energy.

By then, their clan bosses too had noticed what was happening and their men started to shield them with their bodies. Then Kaoru saw how the beast started to run.... gunfire broke loose.....

_A heartbeat rang loud in his ears._

_Kaoru_.... Toshiya jolted up in his sleep but it was Miyavi's laughter which filled the air. And then he saw through Kaoru's eyes what was happening. In utter astonishment Toshiya realized that he was still connected to his former protege.... and his sight was not a good one. The moment he saw the wolf coming closer to him and heard Miyavi's laughter, he knew that it was Miyavi himself, disguised. As the real Yuana-Wolf was still captured inside the fortress.

Toshiya stormed to his cell door and hammered loudly against it. Some Demon Guards answered his knocking and shouting but told him to be quiet. The young Angel didn’t care. He kept on throwing a tantrum but no one answered his pleas. It was hopeless… Toshiya stopped when he felt adrenaline shooting through his body which was pretty impossible since he was quite undead.

That was when he slumped to the ground and his eyes changed into a red colour, his wings spread out hitting the walls on either side because the cell was too small. Toshiya tried to suppress the Angel of Death reflexes and his wings disappeared again but his eyes stayed red. With incredible force he hit his fists through the cement floor and dug into the earthy ground.

Not far away from the fortress, the Archangels had felt the change of energy coming from the nearby mountainside. Startled, they had all turned around but it was Kami who slumped to the ground and held his head in pain. Mana got him at first around the shoulders while hide screamed.

“Kami!! What's going on?!”

The Archangel of water was unable to speak but in shock they all observed how his reddish hair slowly changed into white from its roots all the way down its length. It seemed as if something was drowning his life force.

“…L-LOSING MY…. POWERS!” Kami managed to say out lout through gritted teeth. He still hold his head as it felt like bursting. Hide looked in utter shock at Mana and Shizumi.

“The cross!” Hide said out loud but it was Shizumi who retarded. “Ahm, didn’t you tell me earlier that he cross uses all of the Archangel’s powers? Our powers are still there!”

“You’re right but then who?!” Hide said but they all looked down on Kami who wringled in pain, his now white hair spread all over the ground. Mana hold on his head caring.

Kami stuttered one word: “T-toshiya…” And the Archangel’s looked into each other’s faces questioningly. The young Guardian Angel who was able to use water power since Daisuke in heaven gave him half of his powers, he drew all the water from the surrounding area through the earth close to him. Toshiya felt the blue, fresh energy stream which was luckily nourished with Kami's powers as he came to understand that he had to be close.... he almost saw the light blue vessels forming in the ground, pulsating…. He guided the water into the area around him, into the ground, the walls, all the cement. And then Toshiya concentrated and spoke a command mentally.

The water changed from liquid into ice…and the walls around him exploded into tiny bits. An invisible shield protected him while screams could be heard from all around him. Toshiya unfolded his wings and the moment he lifted up from the ground, the water power broke contact and Kami stopped tensing and wriggling in pain. Mana let out a loud breath and the others looked back to the fortress where the sound of an explosion had come from. Demon’s and Angel’s were dashing out and the same moment they saw the Angel of Death, Toshiya, lifting up into the air. Hide shot up in reflex and so did the others, except of Kami who tried to collect himself.

“That’s Toshiya, what’s going on?” Shizumi said and he recalled this one insecure pupil from his former school days who literally seemed arisen like a phoenix from its ashes. He was speechless.

Instinctively, Toshiya flew into Kaoru's direction… Several Angel and Demon Guards wanted to follow him but it was Kazu, Leader of the AOR and Tsukasa who shouted their armies back. They were not supposed to leave the fortress. The Archangels in the distance observed the ongoings from the distance… Kami steadied himself and he clumsily stood up. Mana hold him around his waist.

“I’m fine.” Kami suddenly answered because of Mana’s mental question. The silent Archangel cared through Kami’s white hair… the colour hadn’t changed back which Kami just realized now but he couldn’t help it now anyway.

In the distance, Kazu and Tsukasa must have agreed to something, the two Leaders lifted up into the air while their subordinates remained in the fortress to guard the remaining suspects. Kazu and Tsukasa followed Toshiya and both disappeared into the night. The four Archangels then came back to their senses and walked over to the fortress, staying there together with the left behind groups, waiting for Kamijo and Kirito's arrival.

The change in the energy fields was not unnoticed back in heaven. Hakuei had dropped the book in his hands and when the sound of a heartbeat filled his ears, he knew within seconds that something was terribly wrong and he unfolded his wings. He flew straight to the borders of heaven. Hizumi already saw him coming.

“Hakuei, what’s going on?”

“Hizumi, please! I must get down to earth!”

“WHAT? Have you gone mad?! That’s impossible! Only if Kamijo allows you-“

“HIZUMI! My love, no my meaning of life is in danger on earth! And you’re telling me to get some allowance and then what?! Collect the leftovers?! If you really care for Karyu then in God’s name step aside and let me pass!!” Hakuei hold onto Hizumi’s collar and the Cherub looked with his white eyes back at desperate Hakuei. He gripped for Hakuei’s hands and solved the tension.

“You know what?! I will just give up my bloody profession and become a gardener! Go in and out however and whenever you please! All of you! FUCK!” And he tossed his spear aside. “I'm done, I'm so done...” He lifted his hands up theatrically. It was his job to protect the borders but these days it seemed that everybody came and went just as they pleased. What could he do? All of them had good reasons too.

“Thanks man. Will talk you out of this!” Hakuei shouted behind him while he flew through the border and its warping space and Hakuei was gone.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya flew through the cold dark night sky, having Kaoru's heartbeat like a compass in his mind. He felt that he came closer and closer until he landed on the mountainside where several cars were parked and groups of men shouting and shooting wildly through the air.

Toshiya was invisible in his Angel of Death state and when he wanted to run over to the group of men, he stopped in awe when he saw this huge, unnatural wolf growling at a group of men. Clicking sounds from their emptied guns could be heard, the men shouted to protect their bosses.... and in the middle of it he saw Kaoru and Sakito, both being shielded by bulky men.

The wolf's grow became louder. It moved slightly backwards before it jumped onto the car behind the men, making them split up into all directions. The car's windows burst into thousands of pieces, the sound of scratching metal could be heard. Toshiya screamed but found Kaoru being covered by two of his men from the impact. They hurried up into a standing position as they wanted to flee the scene but the wolf got one of the men and tore him into pieces. The second bodyguard started to run and left. It was Sakito who grabbed for Kaoru's arm but the wolf shoved Kaoru aside with his big nose. Kaoru flew through the air and rolled over until he came to a stop on the ground.

The wolf's gaze lay on Kaoru and while it walked over to him but a sudden force swept it of its paws and pressed him down to the ground. Toshiya looked around searching from where that power was coming from but he couldn't sense any Angel doing this.

Sakito didn't care and he started running over to Kaoru who was temporarily unconscious. Toshiya followed him. Sakito shook Kaoru awake who started shivering and felt cold. When Sakito tried to pick him up, Kaoru sank onto his knees again, he touched his side and absent minded he pulled a large shard of glass out of his side. Blood red hands dropped the glass and he clasped his side in pain. There was no way of walking and Kaoru collapsed to the ground again.

Toshiya cared over the pain written face, his hair and his hands rested on Kaoru's side. He tried to stop the bleeding but it was in vain. Sakito tried it too before he dialled a number on his blood smeared mobile phone. It gave Toshiya precious time with Kaoru's soul alone. When Sakito turned his attention back to Kaoru, Toshiya touched Sakito's forehead with his index finger..... 'Faint.'... And Sakito fell back onto the ground and remained there motionless.

‘Kaoru…’ It was a repeat in Toshiya's mind, the realization that their last moments together on earth had to be like this... he was so helpless. The realization, that he had changed into the Angel of Death-state suddenly became awfully clear. Toshiya took Kaoru's hand and pressed it against his chest. For the split of a second he could have sworn that Kaoru's face easened a bit. That was before he squeezed his eyes shut in pain again... the ground around them was slowly drenched in a dark red colour. Toshiya averted his eyes and let out a gasp in pain. He covered the wound with his hands again and concentrated on the wound but the healing energy didn't work. On the contrary... seconds before a human dies Toshiya can feel the sensation.... and it sickened him.

'I failed you. In every way. But I am here now.... here with you. Until the very end.'

It was Tsukasa who finally landed with an uplifted arm and he walked closer to the wolf. His power was pressing the wolf down to the ground. With one touch of him, the wolf shape started to dissolve and a mad laughing Miyavi appeared. It was as they had suspected. Tsukasa lifted him up from the ground with his force and smacked him hard across the face. He said with a calm but deadly gaze.

“This was your last coup.”

“I know!” Miyavi laughed. “But I did it!” Miyavi laughed even harder when Közi and Yu~ki finally appeared behind Tsukasa.

“Arrest him and bring him down to hell.” Tsukasa ordered the two of them and they seized Miyavi and took him with them. Tsukasa turned around and found unconscious Sakito next to Kaoru and Toshiya sitting beside him. He still had no idea what Miyavi had meant.

Kazu, Leader of the Angels of Revenge finally landed next to Toshiya. Startled, Toshiya turned around without letting go of Kaoru's hand. He begged Kazu for this last moment with his former protege and after Kazu checked with Tsukasa who was also in charge of handling the suspects, they gave him this moment.

“Kazu-sama, can you please lay Sakito into a car?” Toshiya pointed at Sakito next to them. He was after all his friend on earth once and Toshiya didn’t want him to be hurt…. Especially because he couldn't sense a Guardian Angel around him. “I’ll give you five minutes.” Kazu said and he picked up Sakito and carried him back to the parking cars.  
  
In the distance, Tsukasa remained silent. He observed the area with his senses and was very aware that the whole surroundings were awfully quiet. Like the calm before a storm. He felt Kaoru's heartbeat becoming weaker though and so did Toshiya. The young Angel slumped over Kaoru's chest and held him close in his arms, he listened to the heavy breaths and flickering heartbeats.... and he cried, silently. Only to himself. Kaoru's hands slipped down from his stomach onto the ground. Toshiya moved up and did what every Angel of Death did to their close and beloved ones. He lowered his lips onto Kaoru's and gave him the kiss of death to collect his soul. It was a wet and salty kiss from all his tears, the hand resting lovingly on Kaoru's cheek. The sad moment was also strangely passionate for the split of a second. He felt Kaoru’s cold lips, the limp body… the vital organs dying as well….

The moment Kaoru’s heart beat a last time, his Akasha-Chronicle back in heaven vibrated and it fell down onto the ground in Ruki’s huge library. Ruki looked up from his desk and he put his quill down. He stormed over Immediately and picked it up. Falling books were a bad omen.

Ruki touched the book and he saw Kaoru’s face… seconds afterwards it burned with a blue flame. He moved back from the burning book in shock.... That was unusual. Ruki ran into another row of books and pulled out Toshiya’s book as Kaoru was Toshiya’s former protégé…. He thumbed through the book and stopped at the last written page…. And it was just as he’d expected. New words started to form in Toshiya’s book, new history has been written.

And Ruki widened his eyes in shock.

Toshiya wanted to move back from the immortal kiss to collect the soul... and he froze. The cold lips on his mouth suddenly responded and kissed him back hungrily, passionately and a hand reached for his nape and pulled him closer. Toshiya broke the kiss in utter shock and moved back screaming.

“Thank you for the kiss of death…. but I’m already dead. Azrael, Angel of Death.” Kaoru’s mouth formed into a smile and he opened his eyes, then moved into a sitting position. His gaze was strangely revitalized, his eyes carrying something very old and wise. Toshiya noticed it, Tsukasa noticed it too.

Toshiya stuttered but couldn’t form any clear thoughts. He pushed himself further back on the ground with his feet, away from the arisen Kaoru and he started to pray. The man smiled and he turned his head down. “Please don’t do that. It hurts my ego.”

Kaoru smiled devilishly and stood up. He walked over to Toshiya and offered him a hand to stand up too but Toshiya didn’t take it.

“What are you?” Toshiya feared the answer to his question.

Kaoru smiled and he crouched down to look Toshiya into the face. “You better ask: What am I not?”

Tsukasa who saw the two of them talking with each other in the distance and stopped Kazu who wanted to storm towards them and hold him back on his arm. “You better observe what happens.” He had no idea what was going on either but the expanding powers from this back-from-the-dead-creature seemed heavily familiar.

“Are you going to… kill me?” It was strange question but seeing Kaoru arisen with a power he never sensed before made it not unlikely.

Kaoru shook his head and leaned closer to Toshiya who was frozen. “No, I’m planning to use you.” He whispered against his ear.

“Me? Why? Because of my powers?”

And that very moment a loud voice filled the air. “TOSHIYA!!!”

The young Angel couldn't believe his ears. He would recognize that voice anywhere. Hakuei landed in front of them with his beautiful white wings and for a moment all his fears and desperation seemed to have vanished.

Kaoru answered Toshiya's question. “Don’t you dare thinking that everything is about you.” He took Toshiya's chin into his hand and forced a kiss onto his lips which made Hakuei cry out furiously. Before Toshiya was able to react, Kaoru had lowered his hand to Toshiya's stomach and the young Angel collapsed unconsciously in his arms.

Hakuei dashed forward while Kaoru placed Toshiya on the ground. Before Hakuei was able to reach Kaoru, an invisible force shield prevented Hakuei to move any closer. He screamed in frustration.

“FACE ME BRAVELY YOU COWARD!” Hakuei screamed and dashed but he couldn’t surpass Kaoru’s shield. Hakuei looked into Kaoru’s deep, inhuman purple eyes. Before any of them was able to act, Hakuei suddenly stopped moving when he felt something strange. Hakuei looked down and saw that Kaoru’s arm had penetrated his chest. A loud scream filled the air… it was Toshiya who came back to his senses.

Although Hakuei had no mortal body, it felt like loosing his life force. He started to feel weak and his consciousness threatened to give in. Toshiya started running towards Kaoru and bumped into him which hardly shook him. Kaoru stretched out an arm and a wave of energy sent Toshiya back to the ground fainted. Before Hakuei closed his eyes, he heard Kaoru whispering at his right ear. “You die and I will take good care of Toshiya in hell.”

And that was it. Hakuei filled up with a strange force.

Meanwhile in heaven, Kamijo stormed out his holy halls while Reita was following him invisibly. The higher ranked in heaven all felt the shift in energy coming from earth and Reita confirmed what he and Ruki had felt earlier.

‘It awakened.’ Reita's inhuman voice echoed in Metatron-sama's head.

 

 

_Dispersit superbos mente cordis sui_  
  
He diffuses those whose hearts are full of pride

_Deposuit potentes de sede_

He overthrows the mighty from the throne

_Et exaltavit humiles._

And raises the low.

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

Songs to this chapter:

**12 – The Cross**

**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPfqk37g-V4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=12](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPfqk37g-V4&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC&index=12) **

**13 – Whom the Gods love die young**

**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7ZQEXe4iWk&index=13&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7ZQEXe4iWk&index=13&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC) **

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 34

 

_Whom the gods love die young_

 

**  
**  
  
The Archangel's swirled around from the sudden gust of energy and they gazed into the distance to the mountainside from where the energy came from. It was an inhuman energy and one they had never felt before. It felt like something very old had come back to life.

“Did you feel that?!” Kami yelled out loud.

“What was that?!” Hide screamed as the wind started blow, making their cloaks float heavy with the wind.

Kami opened his majestic wings and so did the three other Archangels. They lifted up into the air and they flew over the mountains to the place where the expanding energy was coming from.

From above, they saw several Angels and Demons standing down there… the Archangels lowered in their flight, ready to land but the moment they came closer to them, their wings disappeared without a warning and the Angels fell through the air down to earth.

Kazu saw the four of them tumbling to the ground and gasped in shock. “The Archs!” Kazu stated but his and Tsukasa’s attention went back to the spot in the middle of the mountainside place where a battle of energies had just begun.

Kaoru had his arms crossed over his chest while the invisible power shield still divided him and Toshiya from Hakuei who had strangely gone into some kind of rage. His loud screams filled the air and the longer he screamed the more deeper and inhuman they became. Hakuei slumped down to the ground and held his head in between his hands as he feared his skull breaking apart. Kaoru tried to keep his cool but also he moved slightly back closer to Toshiya. Hakuei’s hair started to change into a beaming white colour and they grew into knee length within seconds. Not only his screams became more and more inhuman, his voice had changed into something asexual and its deepness went through all attendants immortal bodies. Kazu steadied himself at Tsukasa’s shoulder in shock. The Demon looked strangely for a second but couldn’t help it really. Kazu jolted when he felt a hand on his own shoulder.

“KAMI!” Kazu screamed out in shock and behind Kami he saw the other three, kind of battered looking Archangels. “You better stay here Archs!” Kazu yelled but the four of them hadn’t thought about leaving the security spot under any circumstances as blue, red, white and golden energy swirled around Hakuei in the distance.

“…that’s…” Shizumi stammered.

“Our powers…” Hide ended his sentence. The Archangels were powerless as they had already experienced themselves moments ago.

A mighty golden shine appeared in the air and it was Kamijo alias Metatron who joined the unfortunate group. The Angels bowed down to Kamijo who addressed Kazu directly: “Are you ready?” Kazu knew what he meant. The AOR were responsible to end the teleporter's life.

Another mighty creature joined the group and this time Tsukasa bent down low to greet Kirito. “So this is it.” Kirito said and although he kept his cool in all situations, Tsukasa noticed Kirito pausing for a moment when his eyes lay on Kaoru.

“Kazu!” Kamijo screamed as the gust of energy was unbelievably loud in the atmosphere. “You go up into heaven and get the Longinus spear!” Kazu halted for a moment, realizing whom he had to kill. Without a remark, he left.

“That’s Hakuei….” Kami said out loud in shock but at this point, only little was left of him. The physical transformation was almost complete. They all knew Hakuei because of Toshiya and they cared for both of them.... Kami looked down and Mana steadied him. Hide turned away his gaze and Shizumi joined their grief. It was an unbearable to think that they had to… but who would be able to destroy that creature? How much of Hakuei was left inside of it?

“Its power is magnificent.” Kirito stated and Kamijo nodded. “A dangerous power.”

“But—“ Kami wanted to speak against but he silenced from Kirito’s glare. That moment three other Demons joined the party. Közi, Yu~ki and Ni~ya entered the place. Tsukasa nodded at them and the moment Ni~ya saw who it was standing there in the middle far away from them, he stumbled and sank to his knees.

“Ni~ya! What’s the matter?!” Közi yelled out loud and pulled him back up.

He whispered. “It's impossible.... not him. Anyone but him.” Tears shot into his eyes and he felt a long forgotten pain raising from deep within. A pain he thought he had gotten rid of a long time ago.

“Get a grip!” Közi murmured and released Ni~ya's arm.

Kamijo looked coldly at the traitor who had changed sides only recently but it was Kami who started a confrontation with Ni~ya as he was never good at staying calm. “Oh nice of you to drop by! After all we’ve done for you! You ungrateful…!” Hide and Mana hold Kami back before another unnecessary quarrel could start. It was another piercing scream who silenced all of them at once.

Hakuei tossed his head back as he floated over the ground by invisible force. His body was sexless and completely undressed, his skin inhuman white and his long white hair swung with the heavy wind around them. The moment he opened his eyes, they shone in dark red colour. The Angel Hakuei he had once been was now totally overpowered by the teleporting cross. A creature, mixture between Angel and Demon and with powers stronger than both. Another piercing scream and bony frames formed on his back. Wings appeared and rebuild themselves anew. White boned wings with see through skin as cover.

“So that’s the cross….” Kaoru said in awe and he moved all the way back to the spot where Toshiya still lay unconscious. He picked up the Angel and hold Toshiya in his arms. That moment the Cross seemed done with its transformation but it remained floating above the ground. It looked with furious eyes at Kaoru who held Toshiya in his arms. Its unnatural face, the glowing white skin and red eyes sent shivers through all the attendants immortal bodies… God knows what the cross was capable of. And moreover: God knows if Hakuei's spirit was still inside that thing.

“Do you think the Angel inside is dead?” Kirito asked Kamijo.

“Guess we have to find out.”

Seconds afterwards Kazu appeared in the sky and behind him two other Angels. Karyu and Hizumi came down as well. Kamijo narrowed his eyes, realizing that his orders were overthrown again. “Kazu, you will be suspended from your position as Leader of the AOR.”

Kazu had shock written all over his face but not from his suspension, his gaze lay on former Hakuei in the distance. “I gladly obey your orders if we survive this night.” He answered in total awe of what he saw. Karyu and Hizumi halted behind Kazu as they looked at the glowing, transformed creature in the centre of the place.

“Dear Lord…” Karyu whispered and Hizumi grabbed for Karyu’s arm to steady himself. They would have never dreamed of something like that. Not only was almost everything of Hakuei gone, its appearance together with the bony skinned wings were beyond incredible. A hybrid between Angel and Demon.

The audience saw the being standing in front of Kaoru who still held fainted Toshiya in his arms, separated only by a thin power shield which was no guarantee to hold back that thing.

“How much of Hakuei is left inside that thing?” Karyu asked.

“We don’t know.” Kamijo answered. “And we don’t intend to find out. The AOR are ordered to kill it. Now.”

Karyu and Kazu turned aside in shock. “But---“

“If you don’t then a Demon will.” Kirito answered nonchalantly and he looked over to Közi and Yu~ki.

“No please!” Kazu screamed. At least someone from heaven should do it as one last honour for Hakuei. Karyu stepped forward and he pulled out the Longinus lance from Kazu’s hands.

“Karyu!” Several Angels screamed and Kazu said. “What are you doing?!”

“If someone has to do it, then me. I have to save my son before that thing starts killing…. Although Toshiya’s gonna hate and despise me for all eternity but I deserve it… ” That moment the Cross turned its attention to the group of Angels and Demons. Kami shrieked when he saw its glare. It looked even more horrifying from the front. Kamijo collected a ball of light in his hand, ready to attack or defend their group. The Cross was not impressed.

“We shouldn't provoke it…” Hide whispered to Karyu. The Angels were scared and even the Demon’s didn’t dare to gaze away from that thing. Közi and Yu~ki moved their hand in a semi circle and out of black dust weapons formed.

“No, wait!” Karyu screamed over to them. He had fought many battles and knew that this gesture was provocative.

The cross flew high up in the air and Kaoru took his chance and ran away with Toshiya in his arms. He pulled the Angel close to his chest and screamed over to the Angels and Demons. “Help us!”

“Oh no no no! Not as long as you’ve got my son in your arms!” Karyu started running into the direction where Kaoru was running to and Közi and Yu~ki followed out of reflex. Kazu followed as well and when the running Angels and Demons wanted to grab each other, the Cross darted down to the ground and hit the surface with incredible force. A powerful wave went through the earth which sent all Angels and Demons to the ground. Trees broke from the shock wave and heavy wind filled the place. It was beyond powerful. Screams and voices could be heard everywhere. Dust swirled around them and made it difficult to see.

“OHMYGOD, where is it? Where is it?” Hide found Kami and Shizumi in the dust… Mana spoke to them through thoughts and found them as well. As soon as the dust had settled, they looked up into the air and found Kamijo and Kirito floating high up in the air, observing the Cross from above. It stood with its claws and wings spread and looked up into the air.

“HAKUEI! Are you still in there?” Kamijo shouted down. The creature didn’t react nor move. The audience hold their breaths in anticipation.

“… it can’t talk….” Shizumi wondered but no one would bet on that.

The cross moved its head aside and made inhuman moves as if it was thinking about something. Noises of bones snapping… it was disgusting. The creature opened its mouth while its voice filled everyone's head. “I swallowed his soul.” It spoke but not to mention how. The Angels and Demons were scared shitless from the tone and power behind the voice. Moreover, it spoke and everybody heard it but its mouth didn’t move. It only bared its teeth but everybody was able to hear that thing talk.

“What do you want here?” Kirito asked, still floating high above the ground together with Kamijo.

“Resurrection.”

“Of what?” Kamijo asked.

“The world.”

“That’s impossible! It would kill us all!” Metatron went on further.

The creature snapped with its bones again. “You all deserve to die. We all have to die one day.”

“But not now and not tomorrow.” Kirito answered.

Tsukasa jolted when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Uruha had arrived. The demon looked at the creature a few metres away from them and he widened his eyes in shock too. “Holy crap.”

Uruha’s gaze wandered to the bunch of Angels and Demons who had cowered together in one spot. They kind of hold onto each other… former friends and fiends. Their fear was almost palpable. Archangels and Hizumi next to Tsukasa and Ni~ya. A few metres away Karyu and Kazu stood together with Közi and Yu~ki and in between them someone Uruha never thought he’d see again. Kaoru, awakened. He saw it in his eyes. “Who would have thought.” He murmured to himself and Tsukasa nodded.

Meanwhile, Karyu got Toshiya back and hold him in his arms as Kaoru stood in between Közi and Yu~ki. Kaoru didn’t dare to protest because it was Kazu next to him who hold the deadly Longinus lance.

On the other side of the place, Ni~ya sat sunken down on the dusty ground and he stammered silently to himself while tears kept on floating over his face. No one seemed to care about him. Not the Angels who saw a traitor in him nor did Tsukasa or the others look after him. It was Uruha who walked over to him rather annoyed and he sat down to the ground and remained silent next to Ni~ya. The little newborn Demon didn’t react, too sunken in his grief. Uruha looked from shaking, devastated Ni~ya to the floating strange creature hundred metres away, again back to Ni~ya… and he realized that the former Angel must have meant something to him.

Uruha cleared his throat and said: “I wish I could say that everything’s gonna be okay but I guess if shit's going down, no one of us will die here alone.”

Ni~ya looked even more miserable but Uruha was damn proud of himself. Their attention went to the conversation of the mighty Lords over them and the creature.

“Better now than never.” The creature continued. It unfolded its wings and with a heavy gust of air, it flew up into the sky to the same height as Kirito and Kamijo which felt quite threatening. Kamijo tried to reason with sense. “You too were once an Angel. You must understand the love, joy and experiences we all shared once… Hakuei, please understand.”

“DON’T YOU DARE CALLING ME THAT!” The creature shouted in anger and the Angels down on the ground whimpered. Ni~ya jumped in shock and landed unintended in Uruha’s arms and the middle ranked Demon could beat Közi for the stupid idea to bring someone so unstable to this happening.

“I AM MIGHTY AND JUST!” The creature continued.

It was Közi who took his chance. He darted forward, passing Karyu and Kazu and within a second he grabbed the Longinus lance from Kazu. Yu~ki reacted at the same time. He ran behind Közi with his own combat sword, to give him rear cover.

Karyu shouted behind Közi as even Kazu wasn’t able to see that coming… but the creature did. Still floating in the air, it saw Közi running closer with the long red spear and Yu~ki behind him. Demons… what a funny little nation of fools. The creature had high senses and it felt and heard everything around him. Even Uruha soothing Ni~ya many metres away.

All happened within seconds. Közi ran with the spear, Yu~ki followed, Kazu and Karyu screamed behind them but stayed back… The cross turned in its floating state and it emerged one arm. Strange signs formed on its forehead and with a wave of energy an incredibly beam went down to earth, hitting Közi and Yu~ki with full power. The Angels screamed and within seconds the two attacking Demons were gone. All that was left was the red spear, sticking in the ground.

Kirito gasped in shock and Kamijo wasn’t less shocked.

“You dare attacking me from behind!” The audience literally felt its murderous anger.

Kami, down on the ground with the other Angels and Demons, looked around when he felt something warm, powerful and painfully familiar behind him. The two remaining Seraphim had come down to earth but without wings to keep the distraction low.

“Kazuki, Aiji…” Now the other Angels turned around as well and bowed.

Kazuki stopped at their side and he looked over to Tsukasa whose attention went over to the two new arrivals. Tsukasa looked away totally arrogant… Kazuki tried not to show his annoyance because of the missing respect. Even Uruha who seamed quite displeased with Ni~ya in his arms gave a short nod.

Aiji did good work. The audience seemed a little bit more collected… if this was possible. Karyu and Kazu stood still metres away from the main group of Angels and Demons. They didn’t dare to walk over to the others. Karyu looked over to Kazuki and the Seraph sent him a thought to stay calm on their spot… and that was the moment when he saw Kaoru standing behind them, motionless too. Kazuki touched Aiji on his arm and he looked over to Kaoru. Now even Aiji seemed to realize it.

“Can it be….” Aiji whispered.

“Things can get even worse….” Kazuki added. He looked back at the Archangels. He had just realized now that the Archangels were without powers. It really was like in the prophecy.

“The thing killed two mighty Demons within seconds.” Kami told Kazuki and the Seraph narrowed his eyes. It was clear that everything had to be brought to an end and this very quickly.

Hizumi who stood together with the big group looked over to Karyu. The AOR felt Hizumi’s eyes on him and he looked back. He saw Hizumi literally pleading at him to not do anything stupid. The only thing that calmed Hizumi a little was Toshiya in Karyu’s arms. And that’s when the Drama started.

Toshiya opened his eyes when he still felt warm hands holding him. Expecting Kaoru to hold him, he looked up and found Karyu. Toshiya smiled slightly and Karyu forced a smile back before his attention went back to the creature still floating above them all. Kazu looked back at Kaoru and that was when Toshiya finally realized Kaoru standing behind them. Toshiya looked back at the Angel’s eyes and realized all of them looking up into the sky. Toshiya looked up and saw Kirito and Kamijo floating in front of something… a white, strange looking being.

Toshiya started shaking. He remembered everything clearly now. Kaoru provoking Hakuei and then everything went black. Toshiya looked around, seeing the Archangels and some Demons but where was Hakuei? With shaking hands, Toshiya moved down from Karyu’s arms but he hold Toshiya back on his wrist.

“What-?”

“Don’t move Totchi…” Karyu hissed, his eyes not leaving the thing in the sky.

“But… where is Hakuei?”

Karyu lowered his gaze and looked shocked into Toshiya’s eyes… of course. Now he realized Toshiya had been unconscious the whole time…. Oh Lord. Karyu didn’t say a word and looked around a second time and back to the audience observing the creature. Toshiya got the slow and painful hint. “…no….” He whispered in realization. “No, this cannot be….” Toshiya solved Karyu’s grip and slowly walked forward. It was Kaoru who got him on his arm and pulled him back from open view. “Stay here Toshiya! I'm serious!”

Toshiya struggled but Kaoru was stronger. “You don’t have any right to touch or even talk to me!” Toshiya shouted and almost choke on his upcoming tears and pain. “YOU BETRAYED ME ALL ALONG!” Toshiya slapped Kaoru but he didn’t care, he hold both of Toshiya's wrists.

“Please believe me if I say I’m sorry.”

“NOOOO!” Toshiya screamed out loud and even Karyu tried to calm his son down.

A huge and powerful wave of energy was shot down and large clefts opened the earth. The Archangels got divided by the large clefts while the Seraphs had reacted in no time and started up flying in the air. Tsukasa floated next to the Seraphs with his demonic wings… only Uruha and Ni~ya had troubles. The young demon too careless and moved by his emotions hadn’t seen it coming and he dangled over one large cleft, holding himself only with his arms. He screamed in shock and was weak as he had no wings to fly…. His strength almost left him when he felt two hands grabbing for him from above and pulling him up. Uruha.

“You’re the most troublesome being I’ve ever met…”

He sobbed. “…I’m s-orry...”

Uruha settled him down on secure earth next to him. The mighty Demon looked around and saw them divided from the others by huge clefts everywhere. Kaoru, Karyu, Kazu and Toshiya had managed to stay together on one larger spot of earth but seeing Toshiya making a tantrum and the others trying to calm and hold him… didn’t make things easier for them either.

Tsukasa who flew together with the Seraphs, looked over to Kirito who looked with a stern glance back. Tsukasa knew what that meant. It was his turn with the next attack. Heaven didn't seem to be capable to handle the situation due to personal connections, so hell again had to act. Tsukasa darted down to the ground where the lance still stuck in the earth and took it. Kazu acted in no time as well as someone had to cover him. The Leader of the Angels of Revenge also darted forward but in the opposite direction. Karyu realized in no time that this was strategy to confuse the creature. Karyu followed Kazu and they both flew around Tsukasa into another direction but with their own combat spears in hand. A loud scream filled the air… it was Toshiya who remained on the ground, held back by Kaoru. He screamed out loud. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! DON’T HURT HIM! KARYU!”

The Angel of Revenge closed his eyes for the split of a second as he had no choice. Everybody saw that this being was no longer Hakuei but pure evil. A threat to all existing life forms. The creature swirled around and Kirito and Kamijo took their chance to get into safety distance from where they shot up balls of energy to distract the creature who dodged all of them and shot energy streams into all directions instead. Ni~ya screamed in shock and Uruha covered his mouth, the Archangels screamed and cursed the same time for being powerless, Toshiya screamed as well and Kaoru had trouble to hold him back.… it was a pure horror scenario.

That moment another being joined the party. A never suspected one.

Kamijo lowered his head while Kirito and the other Demons bowed down in deep respect. The Archangels gasped in utter surprise. The whole group bowed down low.

“Atsushi-sama.” Kamijo greeted him. With a fierce look between Angels and Demons, Atsushi stopped between Kirito and Kamijo and he looked up into the sky.

“So this is the cross of the prophecy…. Unbelievable that we really witness its awakening.” Atsushi was hardly impressed and commented on that things as if watching the weather.

“If you’re asking me I could have lived without that experience.” Kamijo added but their conversation was interrupted by a loud deep scream… this time from Karyu because of Kazu. Another gush of energy hit the left side of him and burned away his wings. The Angel fell down to the ground and landed hard on it. Karyu suppressed all motives to run to his Leader, his friend.

“HAKUEI!” Another scream from Toshiya. The creature strangely reacted to that and turned his head slightly but didn’t answer him.

“PLEASE TELL ME YOU’RE STILL IN THERE!!” Toshiya screamed and cried in Kaoru’s tight grip.

“He can’t hear you! The thing swallowed Hakuei’s soul!” Kaoru shouted from behind.

“No…. NEVER!” Toshiya retarded before he turned his attention back to the creature. “I KNOW YOU’RE STILL THERE! ANSWER ME!”

The distraction from Toshiya bought Tsukasa precious time. Everything happened within seconds.

Kazu who lay on the ground looked over to Karyu who flew next to Tsukasa…. Karyu saw the glance in his eyes and he hated it. He knew that the burning of his wings was beyond healing. Kazu took his own spear and without hesitation drove it right through his breast and out of his back, giving them another precious seconds of distraction. Karyu suppressed a scream and squeezed his eyes shut. The angelic body resolved into eternity, golden sparkles filling the air. Hizumi gasped in shock as he knew what Kazu had meant to Karyu and that moment it all seemed to happen at once…

… Kamijo screaming for Kazu,

…. Ni~ya collapsing in exhaustion,

…. Tsukasa reaching for the spear,

… the Cross creature darting down to the place where Karyu and Tsukasa stood,

… Toshiya kicking Kaoru hard into the gut and solving out of his grip because he was too surprised from Toshiya’s attack,

… Tsukasa lifting up the spear,

… Toshiya flying with high speed over to Tsukasa, Karyu and the forward darting creature,

… Tsukasa threw the Longinus spear with all his power,

… the creature stretching out his arm to concentrate his powers for another harmful shot to the group,

“HAKUEI! NO!” Toshiya screamed from behind and he threw himself between the spear and creature.

“Enough now.” A voice echoed calmly through the air.

Kazuki spoke with closed eyes and when he opened them again they were all white and a little golden tin of time took shape in his hands. Kamijo turned around in shock to the place where the Seraphs stood next to the Archangels.

“ETH!” Kamijo called Kazuki by his Angels’ real name, Angel of Time…. Because he recognized the golden light.... And the next moment everything stood still. Everything. Time and space, earth and universe... except of Kazuki. Which was highly forbidden for him to do but he had no choice.

He flew over to the fighting scenery. Tsukasa still stretched from the throw, Karyu looking shocked to the front at Toshiya. Toshiya in the air with hands wide open for the creature which floated about one metre in front of Toshiya ready to fight…. And behind Toshiya the long sharp spear, only inches away from his back. That was very close.

Kazuki took the floating spear and piled it into the ground next to Karyu. He floated up into the air to the attacking creature and bound its arms together with a golden, unbreakable rope. Then he lay it down to the ground, ready for the other Angels to do with him as they pleased. He left Toshiya in his flying position because now all dangers were removed. Kazuki had trouble to hold time for so long but he flew over to angry looking Kaoru and looked him into the face.

“Strange for you to come back now after such a long time…” Kazuki wondered loud. “And strange that no one recognized you hiding in this mortal body… clever of you, very clever.” Kazuki looked him into the lilac eyes for a moment. They were both nearly as old as time and they had known each other well. Heaven had thought that 'Kaoru' had been lost or destroyed all this time… Kazuki would have really loved to find out why Kaoru came back now but he had no time left.

He finally flew over to Aiji who looked shocked to the left where Kazuki stood moments ago. Kazuki looked at him for a moment, the black strands of hair which hung into his beautiful face. His deep dark eyes which never gave away any feelings, except now. Kazuki leaned into him and he kissed his cheek, lingering there a few moments. They never had such intimate contact before although they had been together for centuries. It seemed ridiculous now that everything was always more important that this.... Oh how he wished for that moment to last.

Kazuki rested with his hand on the side of Aiji’s face when whispered into his ear. “I’m sorry to leave you all alone with this burden but I have no choice. I wish we had more time. Be strong for the Seraphim, for heaven and for us.” Kazuki looked at the almond shaped eyes which he had loved so much about Aiji. The cool, controlled eyes which seemed to look through everything and comment on nothing…. But that was in the past now. Kazuki knew from the very beginning that this mission would cost his life. Call it intuition.

Then Kazuki hold his time can in his hands again and the moment time started to play again, the golden light exploded and with it Kazuki vanished into thousands of sparkling golden lights, just like Kazu did moments ago.

“KAZUKI!!!!” Aiji screamed at the spot where the Angel had just stood a moment ago. Kazuki’s words echoed like a dream through his head…. He slumped down to the ground.

“No….” Kamijo said breathless and numb from pain.

Atsushi and Kirito looked around to see what had changed and so did Toshiya who suddenly found himself floating in the air alone. Tsukasa looked around surprised only to find Karyu picking up the spear. The struggling creature cursed on the ground, being tied together with an angelic rope. Karyu bent down to it… it looked even more disgusting from near then afar. Its white face with the deep red eyes and the long silver hair, the inhuman white skin and long features… it was not a pretty sight.

“You dirty little thing…” Karyu hissed and he hold the spear up the creatures’ throat but it was Toshiya who screamed in between again.

“NO!” Toshiya stood in between Karyu and the creature with outstretched arms. The creature hissed and made strange sounds.

“I could destroy all of you with the blink of an eye.”

“Toshiya! We’re not having this conversation! Step back, NOW!” Karyu screamed and helplessly he looked around and found Tsukasa walking over to Toshiya and pulling him back from behind with both arms. He hold him back powerfully.

“Tsukasa, let me go!”

“Now Karyu.” Tsukasa murmured.

Karyu lifted his arm but stopped when the creature snickered.

“You are all ignorants. So blind, so blind….” Then it looked up into Karyu’s eyes. “Killing me won’t change a thing. You will all destroy this world, the living beings within, everything. It’s just a question of time. Other beings like me will come. Hundreds of them, thousands…. And everything will end. The nature and its life forms will renew themselves. Perfect creatures without failures and greed. You will see.”

Karyu said. “That time may come some day but first we have to make our own experiences. Joy, fear, hate, love and destruction. I’m sorry that you never experienced any of this.”

This moment something like a flashback played surprisingly inside its head. The creature shook his head from left to right, trying to ignore the pictures… where did they come from? Maybe from the Angel he had swallowed… He saw Toshiya’s face. Tear streamed, laughing, feeling him, his scent and warmth... then a kiss.

The creature roared out loud and tried to steady its mind. It was then that its voice changed and it whispered, almost impossible to hear. “…t-totchi…”

“Hakuei!” Tsukasa let go of the struggling Angel and Toshiya ran forward in front of the creature and hold its face in his hands. It looked really frightening but it was something in its voice that he recognized.

“Hakuei?”

“End it… please Toshiya, end it…”

“What are you saying?!”

“Kill me. You have to do it. I can’t stand this body, all this hate… any longer…”

“But Haku…”

“Do it.”

“But…”

“I forgive you.”

That moment the creature had solved his arms out of the rope and he grasped Toshiya’s throat with one arm and lifted him up. He took the spear with an invisible force from Karyu’s hand. Toshiya chocked although he couldn't die like a human from suffocating but being tossed back into another dimension like that. He struggled and hold with both hands the creature’s arm.

“Ack… Haku…” Tears streamed down his face. “Why…”

Karyu stayed back, his angelic body vibrating in anger as he collected energy in his hands. Any stupid move could cost Toshiya’s soul now… one hit with the lance and it would be deadly.

“I love you… always. Remember the promise we’ve made….” Toshiya said.

And from one second to the other the colour of the creature’s eyes changed back from red into a warm brown tone and Toshiya saw something familiar within them.

“I remember.” It whispered and after a last glance into Toshiya’s eyes, it tossed the struggling Angel into Karyu’s arms and thrusted the long spear through its own breast.

An inhuman, loud scream filled the air. Blue, red, white and golden colours shot through the air and heavy wind set in. The whole forest became alive by the sudden struck of natural powers. The earth vibrated, rain set in..... and the Archangels felt how their powers came back to life.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Toshiya screamed out in utter shock and pain while the nightmare played in front of his eyes.

The creature sank down to its knees, its wings falling apart and the white skin loosing its beaming color, the hair grew back into normal length and became black once again. The lifeless body slumped down to the ground and at last the body transformed back into Hakuei’s well know features. He remained motionless though because he was gone.

Toshiya stretched out his arms and Karyu let him go. Everything moved in slow motion, Toshiya running towards Hakuei, him breaking down over the lifeless body... the screams and tears of loss were heartbreaking, even to the Demons observing them.

His warmth, his scent, everything that was him had just vanished. Even when Toshiya touched the well known strands of hair, cared over his cold cheeks.... The Hakuei he knew and loved was gone. Long gone. He found his lifeless arms, his cold hands and grasped them desperately. His name was a repeat on his lips as memories of their time together played like a movie in his head. ‘ _Let’s go home.’_ He simply said back then and it had meant the world to him….. Toshiya shook his head in disbelieve. He would never say these words again. It was him who had brought him back to life, he who taught him everything, he who truly loved him…. And now all that should be gone?

He screamed up to the sky and begged God to give him back… but it was no use.

The pain coming from the suffering Angel was the most heartbreaking scenario all Angels and Demons could ever experience. It was pure pain and it brought back memories from former fallen Angels and friends: Kai, Kyo, Kazu, Kazuki… All the Angels had tears in their eyes. Mana hold onto Kami and Karyu shrieked when he felt Hizumi holding onto his arm. Hizumi who had never seen Karyu cry before saw tears rolling down his cheeks silently.

Toshiya hold Hakuei’s lifeless body tight to his chest but his body became see through. He started to panic as he was not ready to let him go. He cried and shouted at him to stay with him, to wake up again but his body had dissolved then into a thousand golden lights which floated up into heaven.

Toshiya weeped bitterly on the dirty ground and his wings hung lifeless to the ground… he dug his hands into the cold, wet ground in desperation.

The Archangels stepped closer and formed a silent circle. Kamijo, Kirito and Atsushi walked over to them as well. Kaoru followed and stopped next to Tsukasa’s side. They all stood in this circle around Toshiya and for the first time they really felt how alone they were in this world. Rain set in and it soaked through their hair, over their wings, down their undead bodies. The feeling of nature and being part of it has never been that intense before.

 


	35. Chapter 35

Songs to this chapter:

**13 – Whom the Gods love die young**

**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7ZQEXe4iWk&index=13&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7ZQEXe4iWk&index=13&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC) **

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 35

 

_Resurrection_

 

 

 

And if I am no more my soul will cry out for you every night.

The wind which I've sent will dry your tears.

The flowers which bloomed for you will make you smile.

I wanted to thank you for being yourself around me.

For giving me the chance to experience your creative soul.

You took the few good remaining things from me and formed them into something so much better.

At the same time I am glad that you never became like me.

You judged and acted out of your heart and no one could have taught you better.

I don’t want you to think about me....

ever again.

I know it’s selfish but I want you to try.

Thank you for not listening to me.

Thank you for sharing your time with me.

Thank you, for everything.

 

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

 

None of the present Angels or Demons dared to interrupt Toshiya’s heavy griefing. The pain was palpable and the situation too precious to interrupt, too hard to take into, to hard to handle for any of them. Angels stood between Demons and the contact has never been that intimate and close before.

Kaoru wanted to step forward to touch Toshiya, to hold and comfort him but stopped when he saw Karyu just looking at him with narrowed eyes and Kaoru almost felt the words. ‘You dare touching him and I swear to kill you.’

It was Aiji, the last remaining Angel of the infamous Seraphim, controller of moods and feelings who walked over to Toshiya. The bundle on earth couldn't stop crying as he shouted _his_ name over and over again… nothing could reach him now. Aiji stretched out his arm and he touched Toshiya’s head. Within a second the young Angel stopped moving and he slumped into a motionless state passed out. Karyu stepped into the big circle the same time like Kaoru. The Angel of Revenge glared over to the undead creature. “What do you think you’re doing?!” Karyu asked.

“I want him to be with me.” Kaoru simply answered.

“Only over my dead body!” Karyu snapped back and pointed with his spear at him. It was Atsushi who stopped the starting fight with the lift of his hand.

“Step back son.”

“SON?!” All Angels and Demons looked over to Atsushi and Kaoru. What did it mean? Kamijo lifted his eyebrows and finally seemed to understand. The other Angels had no idea though. Karyu took his chance and lifted up fainted Toshiya and hold him in his arms. Toshiya’s wings disappeared. Hakuei’s death must have been such a shock that Karyu almost felt the vulnerability and hurt on and inside his immortal body. It was all shaken and totally disordered. He was a complete mess and had to be brought back into heaven immediately.

Kamijo nodded at Kaoru in sudden realisation. The Archangel’s looked perplexed while Tsukasa and a few metres away Uruha with fainted Ni~ya simply looked down to the ground. A moment later, everybody of the Demon party sank to their knees and they bent down…. Even Kirito. WHAT ON EARTH WAS GOING ON?!

“I’m sorry I had to hide in the human world for so long.” Kaoru walked over to Atsushi and smirked at him. The Lord of Darkness nodded.

“Sssso….” Kami stammered. “You are….”

Kaoru looked with his lilac eyes over to the Angels. Not that he owed them an explanation but since he liked one of their breed so much…. “I am the Dark Lord’s legitimate son and heir of the Dark Empire…” They all looked over to Kirito who still bent down as well. “Kirito was my substitute.” Now it was Kamijo who just had to ask. “And why? For what? That’s intentional misleading!” Kaoru lifted up his hands as if he wanted to calm Kamijo down. “One reason: I was bored. And wanted to develop my 'human' side a bit.” The present Angels looked at the mighty Demon in disbelieve while the other Demons seemed to have guessed something like that. “I collected priceless experiences on earth as a human….” He looked over to Toshiya. “And I offer you eternal peace in exchange for the one I want to possess.”

“NEVER!” Karyu shouted and pressed Toshiya’s body stronger to his chest. Kamijo lifted up his hand and he stepped forward into the circle and he stopped close to Atsushi and Kaoru.

“We all wish to renew the peace treaty with hell but it is Toshiya’s right to choose for himself.” Kaoru thought about it and eventually nodded. What could he possibly do? Kidnapping circled in his mind but was out of the question concerning the circumstances right now. There was no need for a future Lord of Darkness to kidnap anyway. Beings followed him freely since centuries.

Kirito addressed Kaoru and Kamijo about the fortress with the prophecy's suspects still captured inside. They all agreed to free them immediately and all suspects had to be returned to their destination.

With a stern gaze and a nod at Kamijo, Karyu with Toshiya in his arms and followed by Hizumi left earth and returned to heaven. After making sure that it was okay, the last remaining Angels returned as well.

The remaining Demons returned as well and Uruha took Ni~ya with him back to hell as well. Kamijo, Atsushi and Kaoru stayed behind for a few last words.

“Losses have been great on both sides…” Kamijo started and the Dark Lord with his son looked back at him. “A new peace treaty should be welcomed on either side I guess?”

Atsushi nodded. “Of course.”

“Free of Toshiya’s choice I hope.”

“Yes.” Atsushi gave his word instead of Kaoru although he would have loved a beautiful blackmail but he had no right to discuss his father’s decision.

“What will happen with Sugizo and his followers?” Kamijo asked.

Atsushi spoke up. “I can’t punish him with eternal death. He’s done a lot for us.... you see: While heaven thought Sugizo wanted the throne to himself, all his actions were in provocation to bring him back.” Atsushi rested with his arm on Kaoru's shoulders. “And frankly I'm thankful to have my son back. But be assured: He will be taken care of. The same goes for Miyavi and Yuana.”

Kamijo nodded acceptingly this time. “We will keep in touch for the new peace treaty?” He looked back at Atsushi.

“We will.” The Leader of hell and God’s speaking person Metatron nodded at each other. And with another gust of wind, the Demons were all gone.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The days and nights just linked into one another and Karyu stopped counting the days he had spent next to Toshiya's bed. Hizumi looked after them now and then, next to Aiji who controlled Toshiya's artificial slumber. They kind of kept him in a coma until situations had calmed a bit and Karyu was ready to take on his son. Fact was, now with everyone gone, Karyu was the only family Toshiya had left in heaven. The whole Angel of Revenge-class was a total mess since Kazu’s selfless suicide and a few new positions had to be renewed after the many deaths recently.

Karyu rested with his head on his hands, next to Toshiya's bed. He too was totally exhausted but more in a mental way. He couldn’t allow himself to rest or gain energy again… not when Toshiya was still in total pain. The nights were short and hard as Toshiya woke from nightmares now and then. Toshiya’s cushion and cheeks were always wet from his tears, very often he suddenly started screaming and his body tensed and shivered through the coma. An new and unfamiliar healing Angel visited them on a daily basis. Toshiya’s energy was on the lowest level, his powers almost switched off. But Karyu was always there with him.

He was so tired that he missed Hizumi coming back to their apartment. He jolted when he felt Hizumi’s hand on his shoulder.

“Look at you.” Hizumi whispered and Karyu looked up into his beloved’s white eyes which looked back at him with sorrow.

“It’s okay.” Karyu stood up… he paused before he leaned into Hizumi, resting with his head on his shoulders. The whole ongoings, possible war pressure and death made him somewhat more emotional… almost human. Hizumi never knew that side of him but it was only the more loveable.

“I’ve spoken to Kamijo. Looks like I’ll be working together with you in future…”

Karyu leaned back and looked down on Hizumi. “How so?”

“I was asked to join the AOR and I changed classes.”

“WHAT?! YOU DID IT…. JUST LIKE THAT?!”

Hizumi looked strange.

“I mean… how come you have to tell me? Shouldn’t it be ME telling you new stuff?”

Fact was that Karyu was promoted as Leader of the Angels of Revenge after Kazu’s death… an honour he could have lived without. He missed his former boss and friend and heaven had lost a great Leader of the fighting class.

“Of course…” Hizumi touched Karyu’s arms. “Right now Kamijo gives you some time and I will help you with business matters…”

Karyu touched Hizumi’s cheek. “Thank you. Really.” The way Hizumi looked up at Karyu was alluring and the tall Angel started leaning in but Karyu snapped back when Toshiya suddenly started moving in his bed. He sat down and cared through Toshiya’s hair. Hizumi moved closer and whispered before he forgot. “Ruki wants to speak with you later.”

Karyu looked up strangely at Hizumi. How come the Kindel Angel wanted to talk to him?

“Sure. Why?”

“He didn’t tell me.”

Karyu nodded and Toshiya opened his eyes.

A warm hand touched Toshiya's head and the Angel winced by the sudden contact. He glimpsed through his dark hair, which covered most of his face and realized that it was Karyu.

“You are not alone. I’ll be there for you, always.”

Toshiya started to cry silently. God… may someone please kill him fast and painful. Now.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Later that day. Karyu had managed to get Toshiya to sleep again with the help of the healer and Hizumi stayed at his side right now. Karyu was on his way to the holy halls and somehow it felt good to see the outside world for a change. The feeling in heaven was strange though… everything seemed quiet and left alone. Many important Angels had died and the halls would never be the same again. It was literally empty. Here and there Angels crossed his way but the long known faces had gone. Everything seemed stern and grey now.

Suddenly the door to Kamijo’s hall opened and Metatron looked out of his hall, he stopped Karyu with his look and Karyu walked over to Kamijo.

“How is he doing?” Kamijo wanted to know.

Karyu shrugged with his shoulders. “He exists, more or less.” That was the perfect way to describe Toshiya's state right now.

“I see. And you are exhausted. Kazu’s absence weights heavy on you as well, I can tell. He was a good Angel.”

“He was.” Kazu’s death added to the exhaustion.

“I’m sorry to trouble you with this thought but you know the Dark Lord’s son…”

“That’s hardly the right time to talk about it with Toshiya. He can barely talk right now…”

“I know. But an unforced union between them could guarantee eternal peace with hell.”

Karyu felt anger welling up inside of him and he tried to put it as polite as he could. “Toshiya’s too valuable to treat him for political interests!!”

Kamijo looked quite cold. “I know. But please… if he seems ready for the information please talk to him.”

“And when will that may be?! 10 years? A whole human life time? Never?! I’m sorry but right now I don’t know if I can do that!”

“Fine. One day he has to step out into the light again and then I will talk to him myself.”

Karyu pulled up his chin displeased. “I’ve got to see Ruki.”

Kamijo nodded and without another word, Karyu left the hall and he hurried over to Ruki’s place. Now he was really curious what the Kindel Angel had to discuss with him. It’s Ruki’s business when it comes to get reborn to earth and the Akasha chronicles, the library of existing lifes. Since Karyu had been promoted to be the AOR Leader and Hizumi joined his team, their plans to get reborn got cancelled in the process.

A knock and Ruki looked up from his desk. Karyu entered and took the offered seat. The exhausted Angel looked at Ruki, seeing two books lying on his huge desk.

“Ruki-sama…”

“Karyu. I’m sorry to summon you here in such a hard time. I’m sure there’s a lot for you to do right now…” Well at least he realized, next to Hizumi.

“I will survive.”

Ruki nodded. “Of course you will.”

Karyu couldn’t help but to ask. “And these are…” He looked at the books.

“Toshiya and Hakuei’s books.”

Karyu nodded.

“And?”

“And? Well maybe you don’t know about it but if a creature dies eternally, the book burns itself and vanishes.”

Karyu counted one and one together and finally realized. “WHAT?! Meaning if Hakuei’s book is still existing! That would be too much to take right now. Don’t tell me he….”

Ruki stood up and he opened Hakuei’s Akasha chronicle on the last page. “The story wrote itself the moment everything happened. Describing his death through the Longinus spear. I’m sorry but even I wasn’t able to see the future in this case.”

Karyu nodded and Ruki went further on. “I spoke to Metatron about it and we came to only one conclusion. The guarantee that this may be true lies beneath 5% but it’s still a possibility….” Karyu listened with anticipation. “The Cross, a living strange form, took over Hakuei because he was the chosen one for whatever reason. Maybe it was Hakuei's own suppressed desperation that made it appealing for the being to choose his body. Nevertheless, killing the cross through the Longinus spear killed the cross but the soul it may obsessed…”

Slowly it made some sense.

“… we guess that Hakuei’s soul had been catapulted out of this creature’s body the moment it was killed. The problem is… the soul could be everywhere. In all spheres and in all states. It is possible for Hakuei’s soul to be a natural power, to be in higher spheres of heaven where even we can not go to or down in hell or even on earth… we have absolutely no idea.”

“So what you’re telling me is that the soul may exists in any form in any place. How can we find it?”

“We don’t know. I guess we will have to wait until it finds us some day.”

“And when will that may be?”

Ruki looked down onto Toshiya’s book. “We don’t know that either.” He opened Toshiya’s book at the last page and Ruki’s gaze wasn’t pleased.

“What does it say?”

“Well… I’m not allowed to discuss any content but in this case I guess I can say that right now everything is empty. It is now on Toshiya to decide…”

“… whether he wants to life or not.” Karyu ended Ruki’s sentence and from the situation right now he could tell the tendency.

When he came back to his dark apartment, he found Hizumi sleeping with his head on the side of the bed frame and Toshiya sitting with his back to the wall, his legs pulled up to his chest and encircling them with his arms. He looked silently out of the window and thought for himself. Karyu saw him the first time not crying since days.

Toshiya jolted although Karyu closed the door very silently. He walked over and sat down next to sleeping Hizumi on the bed frame.

“Hey there… you need anything?”

Toshiya shook his head.

“You want me to get some of your things?”

Again he shook his head. Everything would remind him of Hakuei. He couldn’t stand the thought or smell. He stuttered very silently. “..n-no, please not… I never want to go back there ever again.” Toshiya meant his room and Karyu understood.

Karyu thought about it, whether to break the news nor or later but he couldn't keep his mouth shut. “Well… Totchi, you ready for some information?”

Toshiya shrugged with his shoulders. “Tell me everything. I’ve been through hell already…”

“This old fart in his holy hall cares only about politics and urges me to tell you the following and please don't get mad: You remember Kaoru…”

“Mh.” Toshiya answered. How could he forget.

“And since that bastard is quite a mighty beast he..”

Toshiya remembered Kaoru coming back to life although he should have been dead but anything else that happened after he had passed out. “What beast?”

“Well… he's quite powerful and…”

“Just tell me Karyu, I can handle it.”

“He’s Atsushi's, the Dark Lords son and heir of hell and he wants you next to him.” That’s Karyu for you. Perfectly blunt and short. Toshiya let out a breath and smirked bitterly. “Wow…” Was all he could say. He seemed rather popular with the fallen ones, first the teleporter and now the son of hell…. “So, is he the second son after Kirito?”

“Kirito was no son at all, he was only a substitute since Kaoru wanted to make his own experience on earth.”

Another breath in disbelieve. “And now?”

“I made my point clear to Kaoru and Kamijo and got you back into heaven. But a future encounter seems unavoidable. It's your choice. He has to hear it from your mouth.”

“I don’t care what that bastard wants. He tricked me all the time… he must have known me being an Angel all the time…”

“And yet? He never harmed you… Totchi, maybe he really cares…”

“I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY OF THAT!” Toshiya clasped his hands over his ears and Hizumi woke up startled from the sudden outburst. Karyu realized immediately that it was a stupid idea to talk about that with Toshiya now. It was too soon and painful to imagine.

“I’m sorry. How inconsiderate of me.”

Hizumi stood up and walked over to the couch to give the two of them some more privacy.

“There is something else…” Karyu went on. Toshiya listened although he leaned with his head against his knees and had his eyes closed.

“The high Angels suspect but I might add that there is only a 5% possibility that this may be true… that maybe….”

Toshiya looked up. “What?”

“Maybe…. It is possible that during the Cross’ death Hakuei’s soul…. Maybe it was catapulted out of this obsessed body.”

Toshiya looked in disbelieve at Karyu and also Hizumi was quite surprised by it.

“But it’s just a possibility!”

“But it IS a possibility!” Toshiya suddenly awakened with new energy crawled closer on the bed to Karyu. “What else did they say?”

“Well the whole problem is: If it’s possible, the soul could be everywhere. Somewhere in heaven out of reach, in hell, on earth, in nature itself, everywhere.”

“I don’t care. I will find him.” There was this shine in his eyes.

“Totchi, it’s the needle in a haystack-”

“Karyu, what would you do?”

The Angel stayed silent and Hizumi looked down at his hands. After a moment, Karyu added. “I understand.”

“I will search him. I will search him everywhere. He is my life and I’m gonna spend it however I want. No one has power over me. Not heaven or hell, no one.”

That was a statement made very clear. “What are your plans?”

“I will leave in the morning and no one can stop me.”

Karyu nodded and he stood up from the bed. He touched Toshiya on his shoulder. “I understand you son. You promise me if you need help with anything you call your dad and I will be there for you.”

It was the first time since ages that Toshiya smiled a little at himself. “You always refused to be called dad…”

“Nah! Screw that! Your papa’s the AOR Leader and I will sent my army if necessary…” Toshiya looked surprised and remembered what had happened on earth. He moved up and hugged Karyu tightly and whispered a thank you into his ear.

Hizumi on the couch smiled at himself and stood up to leave the room.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was the following day when Toshiya visited Daisuke at the holy lake. It seemed like ages when he last saw the sun and admittedly, it felt good. Daisuke insisted on Toshiya keeping the water powers for future contact, just in case, and he wished him all the best.

The holy halls were very quiet since their return and Toshiya had no trouble to sneak out to the borders. The Angels there let him through the borders. Clad in a long, dark blue cloak with a large hood, Toshiya left heaven and didn't turn around when the gates closed. He had no idea if Kamijo or anybody else except Karyu and Hizumi knew about him leaving but why should he care? If it was for him, Kamijo could marry Kaoru for eternal peace if he wanted to. This was not longer Toshiya’s business as he made his sentiments very clear. And without Hakuei, this was not home any longer.

Now he was boundless and all alone again…. Some people call it free.

Toshiya opened his eyes when he arrived in the middle of nature again, back on earth. He looked around and in the distance he saw the fortress. Painful memories came up and feelings and grief from a not so distant time. Only days had passed and yet everything looked as if it had been left ages ago. This place would mark the start of his search. No one could tell if he would succeed in finding him… a hint or even Hakuei’s soul itself. No matter where, when and how. He was what had kept him alive, always had and always will.

Toshiya, invisible in his Angel state, walked over the dusty place over several slopes and hills along the dark forest… and he stopped in the middle of the sandy place where all the fighting had taken place. He closed his eyes and his human habit to tear up set in again. The wind carried the smell of nature and dust with it. The leaves in the trees seemed to talk and tell the story of the fight that took place on this earth.

Toshiya bent down and he touched the surface of the dusty ground. Images formed in his head, voices and screams could be heard. Scenes which he had missed, spoken words and sounds.... He pulled away his hand when it became too much. He looked at the ground and still found signs of the cars on the ground but all evidence had left. No more cars, no corpses, no blood. Just the mark of the tires, here and there signs of movement on the ground… Toshiya was able to read it like a map. The Angels attacking, the swirls of the cursed soul over the dusty ground… Toshiya stood up from the ground and he closed his eyes, the wind dried his tears and played with his long cloak.

He opened his eyes when he felt a heavily familiar energy standing not far away behind him.

“I knew you would come.”

“Kaoru.” He lowered his hood to his shoulders.

“Glad to see you again.”

“Wish I could say the same.”

Kaoru gave a bittersweet smile before he continued. “Oh damn, I really screwed up didn't I…” He came closer but Toshiya didn't shy away, he looked him straight into his eyes. “Ah, this look. How I loved this look.” Kaoru reached forward to touch a strand of the long missed hair but pulled back before he did so, he spoke calmly. “That time, when you visited me at my private house.... I knew that you were there but I had to pretend not to know. It made me unbelievably happy....” Toshiya recalled and his eyes widened in shock. He hadn't thought about that. Kaoru continued. “If I love you? I cannot tell because I can't love. But if there is such a thing as love for a creature like me, then I would say that you have my love.”

His confession was beyond breathtaking and it literally took Toshiya's breath away. There was a time when he longed for this words, his feelings but...

“You betrayed me the whole time, knowing what I was.”

“Time was complicated and I couldn’t reveal who I was then… fact is, the time is still not right but I had to talk to you... before you vanished.” So he knew what Toshiya had planned.

“There is nothing I have to say except of ‘good bye’.”

“Please don’t end it like that.”

“Just in case you haven't noticed: Nothing has ever started so far.”

Was that a slight sign of pain in his eyes? “So…” Kaoru walked towards Toshiya and stopped right in front of him. Toshiya didn’t like the closeness but he wouldn’t step back either. “Everything we shared was nothing?”

“If I have raised any hopes then I'm sorry.”

Kaoru's reaction was strangely human when he looked down to the ground for a moment. Maybe a side effect of pretending to be one for so long. “But to be fair, you were my protege and I enjoyed the time I've had with you and looking after you.”

Kaoru stepped closer and he took Toshiya's hands. “I feel the same way.” Slowly, Toshiya pulled his hands away. “BUT, I am free of any boundaries now and on my quest to find Hakuei’s soul.”  
Kaoru looked not too pleased about that and raised his chin. “You expect him to be still existing?”

“I know he is. Probability may be small but worth every try.”

Kaoru paused, almost dramatically. “I offer you my protection, power, an entire army and empire, you would be my Queen.”

“As much as it might be tempting…. I’m sorry but I must decline it.”

It urged Kaoru to touch Toshiya, to pull him close to him but he realized that any physical contact would only drive him further away. Kaoru stepped back into security distance. “You may see me as a traitor now but I hope that you will understand my motives one day.” Toshiya remained silent and looked at him. “As for my feelings… they will remain unchanged. If you need me, just call out for me and I will be there.”

Toshiya nodded as to say thank you, ready to leave.

“I will be waiting, patiently.” Kaoru added with a smug grin.

Toshiya already stood with his back to Kaoru. He turned his head around a last time. “Please don’t waste your time Kaoru. Farewell.” And with another gust of wind, Toshiya disappeared.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

After the big fight, the changes and losses in hell have been great as well.

After centuries, the real son of the Lord of Darkness, Kaoru, had returned and was ready to accept his inheritance as successor... which came as a big surprise to all of them and especially Kirito. Acting the role was one thing but doing so over centuries made it hard to step down and pretend to be a high ranked Demon again. Even the other Demons were insecure how to address Kirito now and it was understandable that the former Lord withdrew from sight, at least for now.

Uruha was on his way to Kaoru as they had to discuss how to fill the many open positions. Gackt had returned to his former post as Leader of the Demon army but Yuana was kept under surveillance. Miyavi and Sugizo were locked away and to be honest none of the remaining Demons felt comfortably with them still being alive.

Uruha suddenly felt that Kaoru had returned and he changed directions to get Tsukasa right away. The place were he picked up Tsukasa was rather unusual though. He found him talking to Ni~ya, as no one felt responsible for the lost soul. He returned with them down to hell rather catatonic after the big fight but he didn't speak or interact with any of them. Seemed that Tsukasa tried to do his best.

He looked up when he heard Uruha approaching.

“Kaoru-sama had returned.”

Tsukasa nodded and they left Ni~ya behind.

Kaoru was deeply sunken in thoughts, his forehead knitted and with one hand in front of his mouth deeply lost in thoughts. He looked up though when Uruha knocked and called them in. It was still unusual for Uruha to answer to Kaoru now but after he had reawakened, Tsukasa recognized the lost son as he had served him many centuries ago. He just never lost a word about him.

“Report please.” Kaoru said out loud and Uruha began.

“Kirito remains in his private quarters as he harbours great antipathy against Sugizo and Miyavi still being alive. New Demons must be recruited for your special force since Közi and Yu~ki were annihilated and the lost soul Ni~ya wasn't addressed to a new post yet.”

Tsukasa and Uruha were on Kirito’s side concerning the Lucifer issue but kept quiet about it. That fallen Angel was fickle and unteachable. Kaoru knew that too. He asked Uruha: “What do you think about Lucifer?”

A moment of silence before he chose his words well.“With all my due respect, a former Angel who plays chess with hell residents to fulfil his own selfish visions, is the last thing we need right now. Such a character would never change.”

Kaoru nodded poker-faced and he addressed his old henchman. “And you Tsukasa?”

“Couldn’t have put it better myself.”

Kaoru nodded understandingly and he was sure that if he wanted to keep his old loyal Demons, he had to get rid one way or another of the treacherous former Angel, this included Miyavi as well as he was loyal to Lucifer.

“I understand. Thank you for your frankness. You can go now but before you leave, please bring Lucifer up here.” Uruha and Tsukasa looked at each other but they bowed deeply and left Kaoru's quarters.

They returned some time later and Kaoru could tell so because of the rattling of the chains around Sugizo's hands and feet. He bowed deeply when he saw who had summoned him but he remained silent until he was addressed directly. Uruha and Tsukasa were dismissed and Kaoru stood up from his throne as he looked down onto Sugizo.

“Well well, you have caused quite a stir in all worlds and spheres, congratulations. You must be very proud of your accomplishment... and especially in finding me.”

Sugizo smiled but it felt wrong. He gave a slight nod.

“How come you found me hidden in this mortal body? Why taking me back here?”

The chains around his wrists rattled when Sugizo moved his hands to empathize his speech. “I am a simple man with simple desires. I wanted to see you back on the throne, I couldn't stand Kirito's face and affectation any longer.”

“And now the truth please.”

Sugizo narrowed his eyes because he knew that Kaoru was just as clever as he was. “I carry angelic genes in me although I always felt belonging into hell too. In this case you could say I'm kind of a hybrid as well. I can see potential and now which strings to pull to get what I want.”

Kaoru didn't like what he was hearing and he hated to admit to himself but Lucifer had the qualities of being a Leader, although a very dangerous and fickle one.

“I never bought the lie of the Son of Darkness being lost. I knew that you were out there somewhere and that I had to find you to... let's say 'trigger' what was swelling the past couple of months. And the rest was pure luck.”

Kaoru paused for a moment and he chose his words very wisely. “It would be a lie to deny your potential but I can't keep such a dangerous individual who tried to rule in my or Kirito's stead. Give me one good reason why I should dissolve you into eternity right now.”

Sugizo dropped onto his knees immediately and lowered his head. “I am your humble servant and trust in the choice you make concerning my future.”

Kaoru knew he could never be trusted but for a change he wanted to play his game with Lucifer.

“I have a task for you. One which will require all your appreciated gifts and talents.”

And Lucifer listened to Kaoru's orders.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Ruki looked up from one of the Akasha chronicles when he heard a knock on the door. His old friend whom he had summoned had finally arrived.

“Aoi, please come in.”

The Guardian Angel entered Ruki’s office and he sat down in front of his desk. His old friend looked tired and sad although the split with his former soul mate Ryutaro had been ages ago. Ruki hadn’t seen him for quite a while because of all the ongoings and admittedly, he was quite shocked about the loss of spiritual energy. Ruki scratched his forehead. “How are you my friend?”

Aoi shrugged. “Kind of exhausted but I don’t know why…”

They both knew why but Ruki invited him today to discuss something else with him. “Aoi, because of sudden changes everywhere there is something I wanted to ask you….”

Aoi looked up. “Yes?”

“You see, Ruka’s protégé Ni~ya left heaven out of his own will and Ni~ya’s former protégé wanders earth without a Guardian by his side.”

Aoi knitted his eyebrows. He had an inkling where this was going to. “So….”

“You are not obligated to do anything Aoi. I just checked the boys’ Chronicle and he seems to be quite an asset to us. A being with a sense for beauty, loyalty and strength. One day he may be important for heaven.”

Aoi didn’t look very pleased. Honestly, he couldn't care less.

“And because I know you since decades my friend… I thought you’re the only Angel right now I would entrust this living being with. But only if you want to.”

Aoi combed his hair back his head and looked doubtfully at Ruki. “Ruki, you know I’m still not... well, I want to be there for Ryutaro…”

Ruki raised one eyebrow. “Look at you now, all beaten up because you can't let go of him. Let's be honest: You no longer have to watch over him.”

Aoi looked down at his hands and as much as he wanted to deny the fact, he knew that Ruki was right. He and Ryutaro were long over before he dared to realize it. Still thinking about it nearly killed him.

“… look at me Ruki, I’m a mess. I’m hurting and not able to let go of Taro neither able to watch him fully. I’m torn between logic and feeling…”

“Then let me help you.” Ruki sounded confident and looked caring at his friend. “I know you can do it. It will be a welcome change….”

“What about Ryutaro? Who will look after him as a Guardian?”

“I will address another Guardian to look after him.” Meanwhile, he had Tadashi instead but Ruki didn’t dare saying it out loud although Aoi knew that as well.

“I will think about it.”

“Give me your answer tomorrow, will you?”

Aoi nodded and he stood up. “Sure.”

“Don’t want to see the precious boy walking earth alone any longer…”

Aoi found it strange that Ruki cared so much about that human being…. He must be quite a catch for heaven. Aoi opened the door, ready to leave but then he turned around again.

“You know what? I’ll do it.”

Ruki grinned widely and closed Sakito’s Akasha-Chronicle. “I knew it.” He smiled widely and pulled out a quill and document appeared on his desk, ready to get signed.

Aoi walked back and without thinking or hesitating he signed the contract. In that moment it felt as if a heavy burden was taken off his shoulders.

It felt good to start something new.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

With heaven and hell structuring anew, time on earth past rather quickly, seasons came and went, people died and were reborn.

In this case however, his mortal death was rather sudden and unexpected.

Cold lips brushed over his mouth and like waking from a daze, Ryutaro opened his eyes. He couldn't grasp what was really going on but when he saw that deep brown eyes, a name came into his mind... _Toshiya._

Memories came back, old memories, past life, faces, situations. Everything that he had forgotten during his lifetime on earth. Amazed, he turned around and jumped slightly from the rustling of his own wings and he remembered them as well! His whole existence came back in pieces and his mind expanded to something so much bigger than it was on earth.

He fixated on the Angel in front of him again and he hugged Toshiya tightly, nuzzling at his throat how he had missed him and that he was so glad that it was him who fetched him from earth.

Toshiya moved back and smiled at his old friend lovingly. “It was a promise. I would have never allowed another Angel of Death to fetch my best friend.” Taro smiled and squeezed Toshiya’s hand tightly.

Happy, Taro turned around and found them standing in front of the borders to heaven. He was surprised.

“Why aren't we inside?”

Toshiya paused before he addressed the issue. “A lot happened while you were gone and I made a vow to myself.”

“What kind of vow?”

“To find the soul that I love. We have lost many Angels during the last battle.... I'm sure the others will tell you everything about it.”

Taro recalled Toshiya's soul mate and realization made him close his eyes. “No.” He whispered at himself.

“I will be back but only with him. I hope you understand.”

Taro took Toshiya's hands again. “Of course. We will wait here for you and you do what you have to do.”

Toshiya nodded with a half smile when his attention slightly shifted to something behind Taro. “You see, I didn't come alone.”

Taro turned around in reflex and he clasped his hands over his mouth. And his feet set in motion, he started running and then he flew the last bit into the arms he had so yearned for. And he cried. Like he always did when it came to him. He sobbed into Tadashi's neck and the blond hold him tightly, nuzzled into his hair, breathing him in. They didn't say a word and Toshiya in the distance nodded at Tadashi before he dissolved and disappeared.

Taro moved back and he took Tadashi's face into his hands. “You can see me?”

Tadashi smiled at him. “I always saw you Taro.”

Taro kissed him onto his mouth, once, twice, before he encircled his throat again and covered the two of them with his wings. This was their moment, the one he waited for so long. He stammered nonsense against Tadashi which made him only smile and love him more. When Taro moved back, Tadashi said: “You should have lived longer, you came back too quickly.”

“How could I Tadashi? You took everything with you the day you died.”

Tadashi squeezed Taro's hand and guided him inside. “We need to talk to Ruki.”

They passed through the holy halls and Taro recalled Toshiya's words about the big fight. He recalled them because the whole area seemed kind of eerie and empty. Now and then Angels crossed their way but not familiar face so far. He thought about Aoi again, they way he broke of their bond and separated, he wondered if Aoi was all right.

“You’re irritated.” Tadashi felt it.

“I'm thinking about my former Guardian Angel.” A pause. “Tadashi, there is something I need to tell you…”

“Later. We have all the time we need.”

They arrived at Ruki's place and took their seats in front of his desks. This was also where their Akasha-Chronicles lay and Ruki welcomed Taro back.

“It's good to be back.” Taro said and his nervousness was obvious. “Ruki-sama, before we start, may I ask what happened to my former Guardian, Aoi?”  
  
”It’s his turn to be reincarnated.”

“What! I didn’t know that he had to!”

Ruki smiled. “He took over a new protege while you were absent. I really had to force him though.”

“Then I'm glad that he-” Taro paused and Ruki finished the sentence. “Moved on. Yes, me too.”

Taro looked down at his hands but Tadashi figured way before what kind of relationship the two of them must have had before he came into Taro's life.

“As about the two of you…” Ruki opened both books with a wave of his hand.

“A---ahm Ruki-sama, I wondered who….”

Ruki looked up at Taro. “Your new Guardian Angel?” Ruki moved his head around as if he wanted to listen to something. “He's such a busy body…. And again TOO LATE!” Ruki screamed angrily. “But don’t be nervous Ryutaro, he is a very nice and gentle Angel. You will like him. Everybody does …”

That moment the door swung open and a completely rushed Angel with wind tousled hair entered the room. He carried a golden retriever puppy on his arm and Tadashi's eyes lightened up.

“Sorryyyyyy for being late!” His loud voice and smile filled the room while his eyes lay on Taro. Ruki lifted one of his eyebrows and he waved the Guardian Angel in. “May I introduce your new Guardian Angel, Takanori.”

Taro stood up and he bowed deeply. A human behaviour from earth.

“Taro-chaaaan!” Takanori beamed with a wide smile, put the puppy onto Tadashi’s lap and he hugged the younger Angel firmly. “I’m so happy to meet you in person!”

Taro smiled shyly. “Me too.”

“You can call me Taka!” Takanori patted Taro’s shoulder. “I’m sorry I was late but a certain Angel of Death insisted on seeing you first.”

Taro smiled. “That’s okay. I don’t mind.”

Takanori kept on smiling and Ruki asked. “Were you holding Angels from work again?”

Takanori looked shocked and turned his attention to Ruki. “WHAT?! ME?! Never!”

“Oh yes, always.” Ruki massaged his forehead.

“They all want to talk to me!”

“Of course.”

“I tell you it’s not my fault!”

Ruki shook his head in disbelieve. He tolerated Takanori’s busy and scatterbrained nature only because he was special… like Shinya.

“You must know Ryutaro, “ Ruki addressed the young Angel who observed Takanori fascinated just living and being himself, “that Takanori is an Angel of Life, just like Shinya was.”

Ryutaro widened his eyes and he looked in disbelieve at Taka who beamed happily. He got an Angel of Life as Guardian Angel!

Taka beamed and he cared over the little puppy’s head which rested in Tadashi’s arms. Taro then looked puzzled at the little dog and Tadashi caring so dearly for it.

“What’s with that puppy?”

Tadashi looked slightly hurt. “It’s not a puppy, it’s my Guardian Angel.”

Taro opened his mouth in utter surprise while Taka smiled like he always did. “You never heard of animal Guardian’s before?”Taro shook his head. He was too stunned but on the other hand again it was so Tadashi.

“He’s my favourite.” Tadashi smiled and the dog barked. An animal soul as a Guardian… it explained Tadashi’s warm heart and creative soul.

Takanori lifted his head and he looked at Ruki. The kindel Angel understood immediately.

“I have to go. Newborn Angels are waiting or me.” Taka turned his attention back to Taro. “We will see each other later.” He winked at Taro and the young Angel nodded. With a last smile and a happy tune on his lips, Takanori left the room and closed the door.

“Okay Angels. Let’s go back to business.” Ruki looked over the two Akasha chronicles and they had a long talk about their previous life, new tasks and responsibilities.

After they were done with Ruki, Tadashi and Taro returned into the sky castle where all the other Angels were living. Taro was so excited to return to the old but well know world. He wondered where he and Tadashi would life.

Tadashi carried the little puppy on his arms and looked into the distance dreamily. He wasn't quite there in his thoughts and Taro, knowing him, knew that something was on his mind.

“Tadashi, are you all right?”

A pause before he finally said. “You mentioned your old Guardian Angel before…”

Taro bit his lip.

“… what happened?”

Taro hesitated. He didn’t know how to start.

“You were lovers before am I right?”

Taro closed his eyes for a moment and his silence stung in Tadashi’s heart. He should have known that Taro had a past before him but addressing it was another thing.

“Tadashi, listen....” Taro walked in front of him and stopped him. “It’s in the past.”

Tadashi looked hurt. “You’re thinking so much about him…”

Taro grasped for Tadashi’s arms. The puppy started to feel uncomfortable and to Taro's surprise he literally resolved into thin air.

“I do but because of the break up which was rather.... quick. You see I left him…” Tadashi looked back at Taro. “.. because of you.” Tadashi opened his mouth in surprise but didn’t know what to say. Taro let go of Tadashi’s arms and explained himself. “You were my very first protégé. I used to be your Guardian Angel on earth before you even knew me.”

Tadashi widened his eyes in shock. “I---I didn’t know that!”

“I know. I became your Guardian the day I entered art school in Tokyo… you remember?”

Tadashi nodded. “As if it was yesterday.” Taro smiled but his expression became sad again. “Then you got your diagnosis about your eyes and I decided to stay with you on earth in human form and reincarnated.”

Tadashi was stunned about the confession. “There is still so much I don’t know…”

“Now we’ve got all the time we need.” Taro smiled when Tadashi realized: “You left everything behind…”

“… for you. Because you are worth it and I would do it again. Always again.”

Tadashi touched Taro’s face and kissed him onto his cheek. “Thank you.” And Taro shook his head while he took Tadashi's hand into his. “Now I’m back and I ‘m sorry Mr. Hasegawa but I guess I will get on your nerves until you are completely annoyed of me!” Taro laughed.

“How could that ever happen.” Tadashi smiled too and they continued their way into the castle. Tadashi started again. “Guess who’s waiting at our new home?”

Taro thought about it… “Grandma?”

Tadashi lowered his head and smiled. “Not who I meant but she does too.”

It came into Ryutaro’s head when he thought who else was a connection between the two of them. “Lisa?”

“The very one!”

Taro cheered out of pure joy. Their cat! “But what about your dog?”

Tadashi laughed. “He’s my Guardian Angel! He may shows himself as a dog but he could choose to be an Angel as well. Besides, he lives outside in nature. He would never harm Lisa.”

Taro beamed happily. And he was so happy. Together, hand in hand, they continued their way out of the holy halls up to the sky castle to their new home and their new life.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was three years later when Toshiya arrived in Tokyo again. He dreaded to come back to the place where he had lost so much but something pulled him back here when he was on his journey through Mexico.

It was a rainy day in Tokyo… Toshiya stood on a very high sky scraper with his long dark cloak. The night wind played with it and his angelic body was totally soaked from the cold night rain… he wasn’t able to feel temperatures but feeling rain like this made him somehow feel alive. The water dripped down his hair, over his nose along his arms…. The lights of the night shone bright and the city many metres underneath the high buildings was still alive. It still was the vibrating and lively city.

Toshiya turned his head around, thinking that he had heard something and he swirled when he really saw something standing in the shadows. The Angel gasped in shock and his eyes had changed into red colour immediately….

“Calm down! Please!” The creature in front of him lifted his arms.

Toshiya breathed out in shock. He knew that voice. Of course. “The Dark Lord himself… what brings you here after all this time Kaoru?”

The mighty Demon stepped out of the shadows into the beaming commercial light above their heads. Kaoru still looked the same, handsome as ever. “You’re looking exhausted, I’m really sorry about that. You know, I would never let anything painful happen to you, I would look out for you. My offer still-.”

Toshiya lifted one eyebrow. “Again?” He said monotone.

“Always.” Kaoru beamed but Toshiya's posture didn't change.

“I’m not sure if I can ever behave normal around you again….”

“Please try.” A dazzling smile which would have sent many down on their knees.

Toshiya crossed his arms over his chest and he looked back at Kaoru. “Why are you here? You know I’m not interested in any bargains… I’m just passing through.”

Kaoru nodded. “I know. That’s why I’m here…. Your travel is over Toshiya.”

“Aha. And you are who to tell me that?”

“No, I’m serious. We’ve found him.”

Toshiya froze, his jaw dropped in disbelieve. Did he hear right? He looked at Kaoru as if he had been hit hard into the face. He wanted to speak but was unable to.

“Sugizo found him to be exact… I made him do it to atone for all his sins.”

Toshiya shook his head. He stormed towards Kaoru and grabbed his arms…. For HOW LONG had he been searching for a sign? Anything! And now, just like that?!

“KAORU! Where?! Is he all right?! How---!”

Kaoru touched Toshiya’s arms. “Calm down. He’s all right… more or less. In fact he isn’t even far away.”

Toshiya looked strangely back at Kaoru. “How come I never found him then?”

“Well… he kind of sealed his spiritual power within himself. Even Sugizo only found him by accident.”

“Sealed spiritual power?”

“He lives in a Buddhist temple in the south of this Island.” Kaoru touched Toshiya’s forehead and a picture of its destination formed in his head. Kaoru moved back his hand and Toshiya opened his eyes again.

“Why are you helping me?”

Kaoru smirked. “Is it so hard to guess?” Another dazzling smile followed.

Toshiya's expression softened. He stepped closer and after a long time, he took Kaoru into his arms. He hugged him tightly and Kaoru closed his eyes for just a second. He didn’t dare to touch him, otherwise he may forgot his good intentions. Toshiya whispered at Kaoru. “Thank you… from the bottom of my heart.” And he moved back again.

“Toshiya if….” Kaoru hesitated but the Angel shook his head. “I’m sorry Kaoru…. I’ve lost my heart a long time ago. But I would be glad if we could meet again…. as friends.”

Kaoru knitted his eyebrows but nodded. Toshiya already wanted to fly away but he turned around again to walk towards Kaoru. He took the Demon’s hands and kissed them. Kaoru closed his eyes as he drank in the moment… oh how he would have loved for it to last.

Toshiya moved back and touched him on his shoulder. “Well, see you again in the future…. And don’t cause any trouble until then.”

“Well, where would be the fun in that?”

And with a last smile, Toshiya disappeared into heaven. He was on his way to Ruki to arrange his rebirth right away.

 


	36. Chapter 36

Songs to this chapter:

**11 – -rebirth-**

**[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siSw4eS9WZQ&index=11&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siSw4eS9WZQ&index=11&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC) **

 

 

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 36

The Last Chapter

1 of 5

 

**Hakuei and Toshiya**

 

**~ Afterlife ~**

 

 

… I don’t know why everything between us starts with death…

 

 

… it should have been a new beginning for both of us and here I found you… bound in vessels. The vessels you’ve chosen for yourself. The vessels I got rid of (thanks to you) some centuries ago and now we have switched places.

I came here to find you, to get you. I would take you with me… name your terms, the price… I would fulfill them all. I don’t care. And if you’re not willing I may need violence. I honestly couldn’t care less.

I traveled centuries of time through all kind of worlds and spheres to find you… even the slightest glimpse, the slightest feeling of your energy could have driven me mad… I didn’t dare to hope to find you ever again but it was stubbornness that kept me existing.

I became blunt in so many ways. I barely recognized myself. My long forgotten friends I dare not to think about them….. Not that I’d chosen to become like this but I had to… to survive. To keep my mind working…. Or what was left of it. A mere fade of energy… a wandering gestalt who had completely forgotten where it came from. So obsessed with this one thought to find the one who was once loved… I became a mere shadow of myself. Sustained by the obsession to fulfill my task… what became of me? Would you recognize me after all this time… after all this changes?

We’ve never chosen the light path but that was what kept us always together. Now I could laugh about our foolishness, that we ever believed that we could ever be happy. We should have known better yet we gave ourselves to these illusions. We saw war and death and yet hope had always swung within us… why is that? I kept asking myself this question over and over again and I came to the conclusion that I could never answer it… the day I would be able to would be the day I gave up.

I’m so sick of fighting… I’m complaining like a child but it is this tiny little sparkle that kept me moving all along…

 

hope

 

How I hate the word.

 

Why don’t you just die with me already?

 

 

Toshiya opened his eyes from the doze and tried to focus on what was going on in front of him. He looked down onto his hands which rested on his black clothed knees. The black matching suit and tie came with it….He sat together with his relatives in an traditional Buddhist temple for a burial ceremony. The sutras just wouldn’t stop and he was dead beaten tired from all the trouble he had endured these past weeks.

His grandfather had finally passed away after a long illness and now he was the only heir left to one large, traditional Japanese household with one large dojo and a few servants. A dojo which demanded to be used and continued in its tradition. Japanese society expected him to but right now… he just felt numb with no idea with what to do the following day. His gramps had always taken care of business. All Toshiya had to care about was his sword training. Being ridiculously good in it bored him even more….

He never knew his father and his mother had passed away when he was still a little boy… his grandfather never spoke about his real father but deep in his heart Toshiya knew that his mother had died of broken heart. Sometimes she used to stare into Toshiya's face for hours… Toshiya always wondered if he reminded her of his father. Grandma used to tell him that he had his mothers eyes and her beautiful black hair but what was it to him?

He really wanted to quit his job at the graphic design office…simply because he didn't feel like swimming with the current. So why getting agitated about changes? The feeling of freedom was something rooted deep within him but he had no idea why.

Toshiya moved slightly startled from the sudden bell the Buddhist monk ringed. His grandpa’s old neighborhood friend looked Toshiya lovely in the face and touched his shoulder for a moment. Toshiya nodded to be okay. A slight breeze of April wind came in through the window and played with his shoulder long ponytail. Outside, the cherry trees, yet not fully blossomed, bent their beautiful branches with the sway… For a moment, his gaze remained at the world outside when a dark shadow disturbed his view. Toshiya looked back, making sure that he was the only one absentminded…. And he was. Then he looked out the window again.

Next to this temple was a Buddhist temple for in living monks. Usually people wouldn’t see them walking around the area but one apparently had some business to do. Toshiya didn’t know why this person caught his attention. Maybe it was boredom but this one was funny to observe… Toshiya couldn't see his face, only his back when the man knelt down to look underneath the traditional house… maybe for some animal. Only animals were able to hide underneath these old wooden houses.

The bell rang for the second time.

The Buddhist monk outside cursed at himself silently while he kept on looking underneath the house….

The bell rang a third time.

The monk outside turned around, he looked through the opened window in reflex….

And Toshiya was frozen to the spot as if he was hit in the face. For no reason his heart started pacing up and he felt close to collapse. Thoughts wanted to form but there was something that blocked his mind.... What was it with this grumpy looking monk outside?

His distant relatives and old friends stood up to leave the tatami room together with the monks while Toshiya had trouble to stay attentive because the next moment he turned around again the monk had disappeared. So being a good heir and boy he followed the crowed outside more or less patiently. Standing outside in the courtyard, people said their condolences and offered their help. It was really sweet of them to care but he was naturally independent.

He made some half-hearted excuses, told them that he didn’t feel well and wanted to rest a while in the back gardens…. And he finally got away. Toshiya tried to walk calmly around the Buddhist housing but started running after he was out of sight of his old relatives. He heard a little fountain in the back and saw the beautiful green garden, surrounded by a long wooden corridor where monks used to meditate on every day. Toshiya imagined that guest were not welcome here but anyway…

The slender young man was startled when he felt something touching his ankles and purring. A little gray kitten found him and was quite successful in ruining his expensive Armani suit with its hair.

“Ack! What-?!”

That moment a wooden door of the temple slid open and there he stood, all mighty and… quite angry. With his bald head and this intriguing angry eyes, he was quite intimidating. Toshiya didn’t dare to move because of a) the kitten and b) the monk looking furiously at him for entering the holy gardens as a) a guest and b) with leaving large, deep footprints in the holy green moss.

The monk stepped down the threshold. His dark, broad hakama swayed with every step and his strong arms folded over his broad chest. Although he was fully covered with traditional clothes, Toshiya could tell that he was quite tall and well built, next to intimidating. Somehow, he didn't seem like a real monk. But where that thought came from, he had no idea.

Toshiya winced when the monk unfolded his arms to bent down and picked up the kitten. He put it onto his arms and remained standing in front of Toshiya, again with his arms crossed over his chest including the kitten. Toshiya didn’t know whether to laugh or cry by the stern gaze of the two heads taller man.

“That’s your kitten?”

“And MY garden you’re standing in.” He made sure to highlight it.

“I’m sorry. I was just…” Well? What was he ‘just’…

“You’re disturbing the holy peace of this brotherhood. I must ask you to leave immediately. This place is off civilians Sir.”

An Idea. Toshiya needed an idea… But all he could think of was no matter how sad the whole occasion on this day may was he couldn’t help himself but to feel somehow flustered. By his deep voice, by his size and his eyes….

“I was looking for a place to rest, you know. After my grandfather’s ceremony and I thought…”

“You may ask the monks across the courtyard. Now if you’ll excuse me.” And the tall man turned around and walked back into the house and closed the door again.

That was rather disappointing. And Toshiya had no choice but to turn around and go back to his guests. Now and then Toshiya glanced over to the house but he didn't see the monk again. So he returned home with his funeral party and dear God it was late until the last one dared to leave him alone. They were afraid of him being alone now in this big house although he was old enough. Some servants lived in their quarters too across the courtyard of his house

And at times.... he was not all alone. Now and then his boy toy visited him at night in his private quarters. Toshiya was eternally thankful that the house was too big for his late grandpa to notice… but most of the time they had stayed at hotels anyway.

Toshiya had no problems about being gay. God knew he worked at a graphic design office….. and his ‘it’s-just-a-one-night-stand’ lover (for over a year now) was his very boss himself. Twenty years older, naturally aggressive and dominant. His name was Tatsuro. Something dark surrounded him and he was often moody and too loud. But that’s what Toshiya liked about him. It was nothing too serious though.

It was the night after the funeral and Toshiya tossed around on his futon. He was glad that Tatsuro didn't shown up this evening. After all, he needed some time for himself.

Toshiya wasn't a heavy dreamer but this night exhausted him. He felt like being on a hunt, he ran and ran into dark alleys, timeless holes and caves where he couldn't find any exits… Covered in sweat, he moved up startled and hold his head and wondered why he suddenly felt so clustered in. Was it the heritage? Maybe….

He shoved Tatsuro away the next day when he tried to get close to him in the copy room. The older man whispered at his ear.

“What is it? Still mourning? You know he had it comin’…”

Toshiya turned around angrily. “How dare you!”

Tatsuro moved back and hold up his hands innocently. “And touchy too.”

“I’m not touchy! Just had a bad night and need some space…”

The old man made his move again and brushed through Toshiya’s long hair. “I can take care of that.”

He looked down on Toshiya with his dark eyes, his gaze showed that he hardly tolerated rejections but Toshiya was really not in for it these days. He turned around again to collect his copies and simply stepped aside from Tatsuro, his long hair gliding out of Tatsuro’s hands. His boss was mad at him. “Don’t you dare crawling back to me!”

Toshiya turned around and lifted one eyebrow before he closed the door and disappeared in his office. He slumped down on his way too expensive chair and desk, threw the copies onto it and looked out of the window. He observed the tiny birds in this ridiculously artificial and way too expensive garden… he drifted away in his thoughts. Together with the birds’ noises and the sunlight shining onto his face, he thought to remember or feel something but the moment he wanted to grasp the idea, it was already forgotten. Where did that well known feeling of something to remember come from? It strangely felt as if something was about too change but he had no idea what it was. Toshiya drifted away again in his thoughts again.... That strange monk in this zen garden… he somehow didn't fit in there, it was strange and bothered him…. The temple gardens had the same green like this artificial garden here in front of the office but the feelings were different. The garden back at the temple seemed real and everything here was pure facade. A game, an illusion that tries to keep people happy in a place where no one is happy to life with obligations no one ever wanted to have…

Toshiya had strangely fallen asleep and he woke to the door of his office closed shut. It was Sakito, one of his lovely colleagues, a starter fresh from college but Toshiya liked him from the very beginning. Sakito apologized for entering. “I’m really sorry… are you resting? I can come back later…”

Toshiya shook his head and waved Sakito over to his desk. The young man brought some copies from the add he was ‘fighting’ with the last two days. Toshiya was in charge to teach Sakito now and then and he happily obliged. Toshiya loved teaching people and he liked Sakito. Bright people like him were the only hope in this office full of perverts and eccentrics.

“You see that Sakito…” Toshiya encircled something on his copy with a pen. “… you have to change this and… Are you listening?”

Toshiya followed Sakito’s eyes outside the glass wall of his office. Toshiya observed Sakito observing the reason passing his office outside: Long legs, beautiful face and collected face. Toshiya stopped talking but Sakito didn’t realize it anyway.

“Freshman from New York… arrived two days ago….” Sakito stammered and Toshiya leaned back in his seat.

“Name?”

“Aoi.”

“Further?”

“I have no idea… who cares anyway?”

“Sakito, give him some time to settle in…”

“Oh I will….” Absentminded, Sakito grabbed the copy from Toshiya’s desk and he left the office with a ‘see you later’, floating away.

Toshiya smiled at himself about Sakito’s pinkish cheeks. Spring was coming and people already went nuts. That was when he decided to pass the temple on his way home and come up with a reason later.

Sakito followed Aoi back to the design department and tried to keep a safety distance. He battled in his mind whether to speak to him or not. Aoi was in the neighboring team and as their teams had to work together on projects... Sakito stopped when he heard paper crushing down onto the ground. In his head he was cheering. CHANCE!

Sakito hurried over to Aoi and knelt down to help him collect his copies.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have to help.” Aoi mumbled and he looked up at Sakito who stopped with collecting paper and simply stared at him. His eyes were so dark and warm…. Aoi found the long stare rather strange and even Sakito realized it and went on collecting the paper. “I’m sorry….” Sakito said. “We haven’t been introduced….” Now that rescued and excused his long stare… as if he didn't know Aoi’s name anyway. “I’m Sakito Edokawa. Part of the advertising team.“ Aoi looked back at him and he shook his outstretched hand. “I’m Aoi Shiroyama. Pleased to make your acquaintance.“

Awww he was so polite that it was sexy. Sakito smiled and almost melted by the touch of his hand. “I’ve never seen you before. I’m sorry but did you just start here?” That was an outright lie and he would burn for it in hell.

“Yes, I transferred here two weeks ago.”

Sakito played surprised. “Ohmygod! Two weeks! Please excuse my rudeness.”

Aoi waved with his hand and smiled… for Sakito the first time and it was dazzling. “Your dialect…”

Aoi looked surprised. “Oh, I'm sorry. I lived in America most of the time. I just grew up here in Japan and I try to hide it as good as possible.”

“It’s nice.” It just slipped out of Sakito’s mouth and Aoi looked surprised. Sakito realized his failure and continued collecting the paper. He stood up from the ground and Aoi followed. He handed Aoi the copies. “I’m sorry. I didn't want to be curious. It’s really nice to have new faces here in this office.” He tried to excuse himself but Aoi smiled back at him. “It’s okay.” Silence followed in which Sakito really wanted to invite Aoi for a coffee but he was too shy.

“So, see you around.” Aoi said and Sakito nodded while Aoi turned around and entered his office.

Sakito turned around dazed and walked back to where he had just come from. Hazily, he entered Toshiya’s office again and slumped down onto one of Toshiya’s office chairs and sighed. Toshiya who was reading at the moment, looked up from his paper, saw the young man observing the birds absentminded and went on reading without another word spoken. Wouldn’t make sense anyway. Just let him be.

He tossed Sakito out half an hour later when he was on his way into town to get something for his camera. Now and then he loved taking pictures and he often used them in business cases.

“His eyes are so dark and his hands large and warm…” Sakito murmured still absentminded while Toshiya pulled him out of his office.

“I know Sakito, as if I have been there myself. You’re repeating every moment CONSTANTLY:”

Another sigh again. Sakito was hopelessly in love and Toshiya had to deal wit a junior in love now. The following weeks seemed promising. If Toshiya didn't teach him enough, Tatsuro would be mad as well.

“Why don’t you just invite him for a coffee?” Toshiya closed the door of his office and left Sakito standing in the middle of the corridor. The young man shook his head and awoke from his daze. “You know what? You’re right! Why not? We are colleagues after all!”

“Exactly.... and good luck.” Toshiya rummaged in his bag for the car key. He had a convertible waiting for him in the garage. Before he entered the elevator, he warned Sakito. “But don’t forget to do your job! If you fail I will get scolded as well.” Sakito nodded and waved Toshiya goodbye.

After he was done in town, it took him accidentally back the route passing the Buddhist temple. Wearing matching glasses to his expensive dark blue suit, he entered the temple and prayed, for strength and luck which was always good. Noises of several people who passed behind him could be heard. Toshiya bowed to the shrine after he was done and almost bumped into a crowd of monks which have returned from a journey.

“Oh I’m sorry.” Toshiya excused and the monks nodded and continued their way. Toshiya waited patiently until the group had passed by. A little disappointed he put his sunglasses back on, ready to leave when he saw one of the last monks looking sternly back at him but turned his head the same moment down again. Toshiya felt electrified. Why was he so agitated every time he saw him?

By his looks, he must have recognized Toshiya as well. Toshiya decided to apologize for entering the gardens uninvited last time. Toshiya ran behind the disappearing group of monks. The last one of the group who was also the tallest, stopped when he heard Toshiya calling out ‘sumimasen.’ The young man breathed heavy from the run but smiled at the other one who stood still now in his dark Buddhist clothes.

“Yes?” The monk asked.

"I wanted to apologize for by behavior last time.”

The monk thought a moment about it but eventually recalled. “I remember.”

“I’m really sorry for my ignorance and rude behavior.” He bowed. “And thank you for the temple’s beautiful funeral.”

“It’s okay. As for the funeral, I will tell my colleague about your feelings.”

Another bow, followed by silence.

“Anything else?”

“Well… as a matter of fact. I’m working for an advertising agency and I am in charge of a photo project…” Toshiya moved up from his slightly bent position awkwardly. Hasty, he pulled down his glasses to look the monk straight into the face…. And it made him stop mid-sentence before he continued. “… and I wanted to ask if it’s possible to take pictures of the temple, surroundings and the people living in it.” It was his own idea and he found it brilliant.

The monk thought about it. “I guess you have to speak to my senior about that.”

“Oh, that would be great Mr. …”

“Tanaka Hakuei.”

A name. He finally got a name to the face. “Hara Toshimasa.” The moment Toshiya said it out loud, Hakuei's eyes seem to flicker for the split of a second but he was all business and stoic as ever. Did he imagine it?

Hesitantly, he took Toshiya's hand in a rather western way but all Toshiya could think of was that it felt so warm and soft. It was a strange urge that he didn't want to let go of him.

“I-I can take you there.” He stuttered and Toshiya found it odd but didn’t waste another thought on it.

“I’m sorry for the trouble.”

The monk nodded slightly and Toshiya followed obediently a few steps behind him. He was really tall and his shoulders broad.... really not at all like a typical monk. Toshiya couldn’t help but staring. How came this person fascinated him so much? It was odd as he felt like following him anywhere. And that thought itself was quite strange. Where did it come from? And why him? Tatsuro never gave him this feeling.

Hakuei motioned Toshiya to wait outside the temple and a few minutes later, he came back with a senior monk who was obviously the one in charge here. Toshiya excused himself again or the interruption and selfish request and he explained the agency’s…. or more likely ‘his’ idea of the photo shoot. He already knew that he would end up just taking pictures of Hakuei anyway.

The old monk was hard to convince as a monk's life was not something to be 'celebrated' on pictures but after some slight persuasion he finally said yes as it would be good publicity for them. His preference for a model was also quite clear and the old monk was fine with it. Hakuei didn't look so happy but as his senior agreed to it there was no way out for him. Of course he didn't like the vain idea of photos of him and the publicity on top of it was rather undesired from his side.

Hakuei walked their guest back to the temple’s entrance and he could literally feel the stares against his back.

“Why me?” Hakuei grumbled from the front.

“Because you’ve got soul.” Toshiya answered matter of factly.

Hakuei stopped and turned around, his arms crossed over his chest like always. “There are other monks with ‘soul’….”

Toshiya smiled and shook his head. “Maybe…. But you’re carrying it in your eyes.”

Hakuei wanted to retard but was beaten by Toshiya's words. HE knew what he wanted and he couldn't argue against that. “How big is this campaign going to be?”

“Not too big-”

“Don’t get me wrong but I don’t want to see my face plastered over the whole city.”

“No, of course not! I can promise you that.”

Hakuei pulled up his chin thoughtfully. They settled the photo date for next week and Toshiya was nervous already. He thought about it every day. Should he take Sakito with him as a helping person? No, that could be bothersome since it was a hidden ‘private project’.

Toshiya lay awake every night until the date came and he arrived, nervous as he was, early at the temple with a lot of equipment. Hakuei observed him putting up his equipment when he added dryly. “Oh and no nudes.”

Toshiya choked on his hot Starbucks coffee which he hold in his other hand. “W-What?!” A comment he would have never expected from a monk. His cheeks reddened and he tried to hide it. “O-of course not!” He fumbled hastily through his photo equip. Him being flustered was kind of sweet.

“Just saying…” Hakuei said nonchalantly while he leaned against one wooden pole of the temple.

“Where do you want me to be?” Hakuei asked about the photo location and Toshiya had all different kind of locations in mind which were all not too serious.

“The gardens in the back and then some pictures at the temple stone wall.”

Hakuei nodded and wondered himself why he was doing that again? Riiiight. Because his senior talked him into it. Toshiya still fumbled through his equip again nervously. Hakuei felt slightly sorry for his clumsiness so he started some small talk. “So… Hara-san…”

Toshiya halted. “Please call me Toshiya, I’m not so old.”

“Toshiya-san… what kind of agency are you working for?” Somehow he couldn't really believe this posh youngster working for an agency, especially because he seemed so clumsy.

“It’s a small commercial agency in town.” It was an understatement, it was quite big.

Hakuei nodded but before he was able to ask for the name, Toshiya was done with his camera and asked Hakuei to move over to the location.

Toshiya was so nervous. Although Hakuei looked great in every posture he made intentionally or unintentionally, Toshiya took waaaay to many pictures. The mood and the weather this day were perfect too and the tension eased partly because Hakuei seemed to ease up and really did his best in polite small talk. A gesture which should have come from Toshiya but he couldn't help himself. He was quite concentrated after a while. Seeing Hakuei's face through the camera, he wondered why his face and expressions seemed so familiar to him. His voice was soothing and deep, not to mention when he addressed him...

“Another location?” Toshiya shook his head for a moment to come back to his senses. “No, I think we are done.” After two hours of circling the property. Toshiya smiled at himself and breathed out relieved then he smiled before Toshiya said, more to himself. “Just thought that a monk like you must be thinking that a designer boy like me must be bored as hell to take pictures at this kind of place…”

Hakuei shook his head. “No, not at all. There’s a reason for everything. In life, everybody comes here at some point….” There was a slight melancholy in his words.

“Beautifully said.” Toshiya smiled. Today he saw how the grim monk became more ‘human’. The silence became awkward again so Toshiya started packing his stuff together.

“I will show you the prints at the end of the week.” Only another reason for one more visit.

“Hm.” Hakuei said not knowing if he wanted to see himself on pictures. Toshiya thanked him thoroughly and was sad that no new conversation came up. Hakuei brought him back to the entrance and they said their goodbyes.

Hakuei had his arms crossed as he watched Toshiya leaving and his name came back into his mind. The Hara name was familiar but it couldn't possibly be him. Never. Although the clumsiness of him seemed rather familiar from another life, in another situation. Every time Toshiya apologized Hakuei felt the urge to pat his head and say “it’s all right” which was really strange… maybe it was him after all…. Hakuei thought deeply while he walked back into the temple.

Toshiya drove back to the office like a mad man as he was desperate to print out the pictures. It was already evening and most of the staff must have left anyway. Toshiya looked through the pictures on his computer and he liked all of them. The dreamy gaze ones, the direct stare ones… which were his favorites and turning his stomach around… Toshiya stopped clicking through the pictures and he leaned back thinking. Everything about this person fascinated him, absorbed him. Toshiya closed his eyes and grabbed into his hair before he realized that his body acted before his mind did. All these excuses to visit him, taking photos of a total stranger, how desperate he must be.

The door to his office opened and he jumped in his seat. Tatsuro looked at him surprised. Toshiya switched off the monitor.

“You still there?” Tatsuro asked.

“Yeah, looking over some pictures for our next campaign-“ Tatsuro cut off Toshiya’s words by leaning over his desk, grabbing his chin and kissing him demandingly. Toshiya closed his eyes but more out of physical reflex as he hadn’t been touched for quite some time and right now it felt just good. Tatsuro moved back with a grin on his face. “Thought so.” He checked his watch. “You’re coming home with me later?” Toshiya’s body really wanted to but his mind was still somewhere else. “Maybe next time.”

Tatsuro gave his murderous glare. He was a man who hardly tolerated ‘no’ and Toshiya knew that. Usually Tatsuro tended to show up anyway at Toshiya's place. Tatsuro let go of him and walked to the door. “See you later.” And he was gone. Great. How came Toshiya wasn’t able to retard any of Tatsuro’s advances? He felt like a doll and Tatsuro was able to pull all his strings. He used him just the way he needed him to.

Absentminded, Toshiya printed out five pictures and stuffed them into his pocket. He switched of his computer and left for HIS home.

From the glass wall of his office, Tatsuro observed Toshiya driving out the garage. He left his own office again and headed for Toshiya’s. In total darkness, he went to Toshiya’s computer and switched it on and because he was the boss, he was able to get into any computer with his password

He looked up the last file Toshiya had printed out. The file opened and Tatsuro couldn’t believe his eyes. Although the monk was bald, he recognized this eyes immediately. Tatsuro moved back from the computer but his eyes focused the screen. How much he hated that stare… he had always hated it. How came that Toshiya of all people had found him?

Tatsuro narrowed his eyes while he clicked through the pictures. After a few more he had enough and switched it all off again.

Seemed like this thing was getting interesting.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya entered the office the next morning with bags under his eyes and a sore back. It was his own fault for opening the door for Tatsuro last night anyway. Let's just say that the physical was a welcomed distraction from overthinking.

Toshiya wasn’t sure if Tatsuro noticed him being absentminded but the feeling of getting sucked up into Tatsuro's dominant world felt more and more.... wrong. His boss had always been the aggressive type (not that he minded at some point) but he was also one of the people who was capable to control and get everything he wanted. Good or bad.

It was then that Toshiya realized that he was in too deep already. They were close for quite some time now and every time he was with Tatsuro he felt him enjoying the power over him, just like a pet. It was strange that it became so obvious now.

Absentminded, Toshiya entered the copy room and suddenly stopped in his tracks. Behind the copy machine in the corner of the room were Sakito and Aoi, engaged in their own kind of 'talk'. Aoi leaned against the wall with his back and Sakito caged him with his arms. The moment Toshiya had entered though, Aoi took his chance and escaped the awkward situation. He left the room immediately.

“Wowowow Sakito! Are you crazy?!”

Sakito hold his index finger against his lips and hushed Toshiya to stay silent.

“Sakito!” Toshiya closed the door and hissed at him. “Are you out of your senses?! Here at work?!”

“But he was so cute in playing hard to get… Besides, ” Sakito crossed his arms and looked nonchalantly back at Toshiya, “you’re one to talk.”

Toshiya became beet red. Sakito was the only one who knew because of Tatsuro's stares. “At least wait until you’re home! Tatsuro’s gonna kick your and my ass!”

“Mine maybe but not yours.” Sakito pointed out. “And you are trying to reason me?” Sakito smiled.

“I am your superior!”

“Yeah and I respect you… kind of.” Sakito slung his arm around Toshiya’s elbow. “Come on, let’s talk in your office.” Toshiya breathed out and hung his head low. How came no one ever respected him?

“That’s because you are too nice.” Sakito answered as if he read Toshiya’s thoughts. “And you’re easy to read and thus easy to control.”

“Oh thank you Sakito!” True words have never been spoken.

Sakito kept on ranting and Toshiya hushed him when he pulled him out of the copy room back with him into the office. Okay, his role as superior was long gone and they were more like friends now. Toshiya placed Sakito in one of his chairs while he switched his computer on and got rid of his leather jacket….

Sakito smiled a lovey dovey smile, as his thoughts drifted somewhere else again. “First I was shy but seeing Aoi being even more shy makes me go ‘awwwwwww’ and I can’t control myself and all I have to do is help myself and screw the shyness, go and just do it…..” Sakito kept on babbling but stopped when Toshiya’s bag fell over and printed out pictures scattered on the floor. Sakito stopped immediately and rushed down to the ground to pick them up.

“Saki, stop!” Toshiya rushed down as well but too late.

“Whohooooo, so that’s the kind of type Toshiya likes. Strong muscular face and arms. Dear God, look at these arms… although his body’s clad you can see that he’s well built.” Sakito narrowed his eyes as he looked up at Toshiya. He was found out and it was too obvious because Toshiya’s face spoke on its own.

“Glad to see my superior is as immature as I am.” Sakito beamed widely while Toshiya snatched the pictures away. “Thank you!”

“But….” Sakito continued. “Aren’t you with Tatsuro?”

“Well technically we’re not really dating…”

“So you’re his boy toy.”

“Why are you always so blunt?!”

“Because it distracts you and it’s funny.”

Great, Toshiya thought. “Besides, he’s a monk. I used him as model because he looked good. There is no way… that…”

Sakito looked amused at Toshiya walking up and down his own office nervously. “Aha, sure thing Toshiya.”

“Anyway, why am I discussing it with you? You’re molesting Aoi in the copy room!”

“You are making it sound dirty.” Sakito played being hurt but Toshiya could never hurt him. “But I don’t regret it because I’ve got the guts to act on how I feel rather than running from it.”

That stung. And with that, Sakito stood up and left Toshiya’s office.

His words echoed in his head…. Yeah, he was always looking for an apology when things became ugly or difficult and Sakito knew it. Thinking about their conversation throughout the whole day, Toshiya came up with the conclusion to apologize to Sakito for acting so high and mighty and to offer going out for a drink in the evening. He caught him after lunch time and Sakito agreed to it.

Toshiya leaned against his convertible after eight pm in the evening and he checked his watch for the hundredth time but Sakito didn’t show up. What happened to him? Sakito wasn’t the kind of guy who usually forgot appointments.

Sakito was kind of busy with his own kind of ‘business’ inside one of the stalls of the men's rest room. He was young and bold and after he stumbled over Aoi in the restroom at this late hour, he took his chance and hit on him… quite successful. Sakito knew that no one was able to resist his beautifully trained body.

“We shouldn’t…” Aoi gasped, followed by Sakito. “Oh yes, we definitely should…” Sakito touched Aoi’s throat and kissed along the side of it. The older and dark haired man closed his eyes although his whole body was stiff because he knew that it was wrong, being seduced by a young apprentice ten years younger than him. But lust won over reason.

Sakito pushed Aoi against the wall and with the other hand he took off his own shirt. Sakito could see the lust in Aoi’s eyes… hetero my ass, he thought. He leaned against Aoi which killed the last remaining resistance. The older man pulled Sakito up his chest and bite into one of Sakito’s nipples. The blond tossed his head back and had difficulties to hold himself steady on Aoi’s shoulders. He grabbed into Aoi’s black hair, pressed him closer to his chest. After a short while, Aoi let him down from his arms and he changed positions. Sakito was filled with joy about Aoi suddenly taking action. Now it was Sakito against the wall. Saki stretched out one arm and pulled Aoi at his tie closer to him again.

“Still too much clothes on…” Sakito whispered with a smile against Aoi’s lips. With his tongue he traced Aoi’s lip piercing. Licked alongside Aoi’s mouth and they crushed into their first long kiss. Their tongues met, Sakito moaned into it sweetly and also Aoi seemed to enjoy it.

Sakito got rid of Aoi’s tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He reached inside the shirt and pinched Aoi’s nipples. The older man broke the kiss and fumbled on his own trousers. And since his hands were too impatient, Sakito happily obliged and unzipped Aoi’s pants for him. Aoi stopped for a moment. “Wait, you’re not gonna…”

Sakito looked up into those dark eyes and the mere panic in them. “No… not my role.” He kissed Aoi on the side of the earlobe and unzipped his own pants. He let his pants and underwear fall and grabbed for Aoi’s member at the same time. He started massaging Aoi and the older man gasped , his breathing became heavier. Without any shame, Sakito took Aoi's pre-cum and prepared himself. When he was done, he turned around and leaned against the wall with his stomach. With his flustered face, he begged Aoi to take him and it didn't take much persuasion for him to do so. The older leaned against Sakito and he took him, bit by bit, sending the younger into utter bliss. It was Aoi who cried out in sensation, although it should have been Sakito who endured with the pain. Sakito only thought how sexy it was too deflower a hetero man… it was obvious that it was Aoi’s first time with a man but for that he was, like expected, very good.

After some rhythmic problems, they soon moved in unison. Aoi's arms around his body felt so good and his perfume was so wonderful. It didn't take long until they were both at their limits and they finished off what had happened so fast.

Outside the rest room, Sakito’s mobile buzzed in his bag. Another call from Toshiya, followed by the second message.

Toshiya stuffed his mobile into his pocket and got into the car. He decided to call it a day and finally drive home. Something important must have come up, Toshiya thought while he fumbled with his keys and the moment he thought of it, the moment he realized what ‘this important business’ could be. Impossible, was it?

Toshiya shook his head and started the car. That was when he remembered that tomorrow he promised to visit ‘him’ to show the pictures. He almost forgot about it since this week started and ended rather chaotic.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya was reading the newspaper on his desk the next morning and drank coffee, that was until the door to his office opened and an overly happy and dreaming Sakito came floating into the office. He slowly settled down on his usual spot and crossed his long legs over the soft leather chair. Toshiya didn’t look up and nonchalantly flipped to the next page of his newspaper.

“Aha…. I see.” Toshiya said still without looking up. “Wait, let me open the window. The air is full with pink little clouds….”

Sakito let out a long sigh while he looked dreamily up to the ceiling. “Ohmygod he was soooo good….”

Toshiya merged up one hand. “Please, no details.”

“It was like releasing a tiger from its cage… such brute power and his chest… his kisses….” Sakito sighed again. “Just thinking about it makes my head go funny….”

Dramatic turning of the newspaper page.

“I can’t look him in the face now, I will turn red in an instant.”

“I can imagine. Sounds funnier then going out drinking with a colleague.”

Sakito looked strangely for a second before he moved up startled. “Holy-! Ohmygod! Oh no! I totally forgot! I’m so sorry Toshiya! We will catch up at some point okay? My treat!”

“Of course it’s your treat.” Toshiya lay the paper aside and smiled at Sakito. He wasn’t mad with him. “Look at you! Pink cheeks and great skin!”

Sakito shook his head. “Is it really that obvious?”

Toshiya stood up to open a window because of the pink clouds.

“ARGH! I know I know!” Crap, he really liked this guy.

“How does he feel about you? Had the chance to talk to him already?”

Sakito shook his head. “No, he went for a business trip this morning and will come back in three days… THREE DAAAAAYS!” Mercy on his poor nerves, Toshiya thought. During this time he would have to cope with Sakito’s suffering.

“You’re really head over heels aren’t you? I don’t want to destroy your happiness but don’t forget that he’s from New York, he's older.... to be honest, you don't even know the guy.”

Sakito made a sad face. “I know but I don’t want to think about it… well, maybe he will transfer here as a regular and…”

“Go talk to him first.”

“I know I know….” Sakito remained silent and observed Toshiya tapping with his fingers onto his desk absentminded. He seemed nervous. “What about you? Going all nuts?”

Toshiya narrowed his eyes and stopped tapping. “I can’t hide it either can I?”

“You’re going to see him today?” Sakito meant Hakuei.

“Promised to show him the pictures I took.”

“Ne ne, let me see.” Sakito ran behind Toshiya’s desk. Hesitantly, Toshiya clicked through the pictures on his computer. “They are just... quick shots and....”

Sakito looked astonished. “They are really good. You took the pictures with great atmosphere.”

“He’s got the atmosphere, not the pictures.” It rolled out of his mouth.

“Ahaaaaa, so YOU really like him don’t you?” Sakito smiled and Toshiya turned away, still not wanting to admit it.

“It’s stupid and hopeless and I don't know him at all and he is a monk for goodness sake!”

“Come on, yesterday I seduced a hetero man and he loved it.”

Toshiya’s cheek reddened. “What are you telling me?! No details! And moreover: To seduce a monk?!”

“No! Of course not… well, I mean, why not?!”

“ARGH! You are a bad influence! Why am I listening to you? You’re no help at all! Please reason me instead of encouraging-”

Sakito pointed at himself. “Me? Reasoning you? Firstly: I’m acting out of my pure heart myself and secondly: Aren’t you my superior?”

“Sakito!” Toshiya lay with his head on his arms and hid his face. “What should I do….”

Sakito stood up and patted Toshiya’s head. “Guess all we can do is to life and see what future brings.”

Toshiya nodded.

“Drinks later?” Sakito asked.

Toshiya nodded again. It would distract them both from their non existing, personal love life.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The wind played with his half long black hair and Toshiya lifted up his head to look at the beautiful colored trees above his head. Temple grounds always had something soothing about them, the peace only broken by noises of the nature were very beautiful.

He hold his picture folder under one arm while he pulled up his cashmere scarf to his chin. He scanned the temple grounds and found the familiar figure sweeping in the distance. Hakuei had his back turned to him and while Toshiya walked closer, Hakuei turned around in reflex and he nodded at him.

Another stolen moment of a gaze into his eyes before Toshiya started. “So I brought the pictures.” Hastily, Toshiya took his folder to opened it. As Hakuei stood rather close to look at them, it made him nervous and he dropped the pictures. They scattered and Toshiya moved down to gather them, Hakuei did so too. He hold a few pictures in his hand and simply stared at them.

The pictures, partially in black and white and although he was fully dresses, had an intimate feeling. They seemed like looking through him, displaying him and his soul… they were simply stunning.

Toshiya looked at Hakuei and was insecure whether he liked them or not.

“They are very well taken… model looks better than in reality.”

“That's not true!” That came too fast. “I mean… don’t put yourself down.”

Hakuei looked at him and handled him the pictures. “Thanks for showing them.”

“Do you want copies of the pictures?”

“Nah, I don't think so. There is no place to display them and no one I could show them too. But thank you for the offer.”

Toshiya was almost disappointed when he took the pictures back. He started. “I wondered…”

Hakuei looked down at him with this stern gaze. “Please,” Hakuei said. “Don’t ask.”

“Huh?” Toshiya wondered.

“I'm a monk but not stupid. I can see you coming here all the time and it’s really inconvenient…”

Contradicting his words, Hakuei turned to Toshiya and slightly bent down to look at him closer. “Could it be….” Hakuei started. “That you’re from the Hara dojo?”

Toshiya looked taken aback. How did he know? And why did he ask? But before he was able to give Hakuei an answer, his heart stopped beating when Hakuei touched the hem of Toshiya's shirt and pulled it up his stomach over his chest… and there it was what Toshiya always tried to hide and Hakuei feared all along and wished never to see or think about ever again.

A broad scar went from Toshiya’s right shoulder down the middle of his chest to his navel. Hakuei’s face looked pale and changed to one in pain. He pulled down the shirt again, shook his head and closed his eyes for a moment.

Hakuei turned around and was ready to leave while Toshiya breathed out in realization. How did he know about their old family incident? He himself forgot almost everything about it since he was a little boy when ‘that’ happened…. Toshiya started running behind Hakuei who walked back to the temple entrance.

“Hak-“

“Stop it!” He said without turning around. “We shouldn’t see each other again. Never ever again, you understand?”

“NO! Tell me, did you know my father? What happened back then?!”

“I have no idea, I’m sorry. Now this business relation has ended and I command you to leave these grounds.”

With that he closed the gate to the temple and Toshiya rushed to the iron bars and grabbed them, shouting behind Hakuei. “I won’t give up! I will come here again!”

And the priest shook his head as soon as he closed the doors to his quarters. It was impossible. “…from the Hara dojo?”… how could he? Now he revealed himself to the already stalker and he was sure that Toshiya would never give up until he knew the truth.

His past seemed to have found him, chase him even. He would never be able to hide from it and now it seemed to be back... with the old known begging dark eyes and silky black hair… how come that he found him after all this years in this temple? The place where he wanted to rest and gain his spirituality again. Hakuei had a bad feeling about all this. THIS was only the beginning of something very big and knowing the old Hara house, he knew that more inconvenience would follow as it always did.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya had no idea how he had dragged himself to work the next morning.

He was thinking about their encounter the whole night, even tried to recall the incident from his childhood when the scar happened but he remember nothing. He was too young.... or his mind wanted to forget what had happened back then. Doctors said it leads back to traumatic situations and all the suggestions about hypnotism therapies were turned down from Toshiya himself. He feared what he would discover. Maybe it was better to hear it from someone else rather than 'remembering' something traumatic from his childhood.

His grandfather never talked about it. Toshiya knew that his parents had been murdered though and because of that he used to life with his grandfather. No one ever talked about the past but he also knew that he came from an old family.

Of course he had to see Hakuei again. Even if he hated Toshiya for visiting so often. He would pester him until he knew the truth.

Toshiya shook his head to concentrate on work again. He went through Sakito’s work for the third time. Controlled and looked for mistakes, read the same sentences for the 5th time… Without looking up Toshiya said:

“Sakito, could you please stop staring at our freshman already? For my nerve's sake?”

Sakito sighed. “Am I that obvious?”

“Obvious is an understatement.”

Sakito rolled his eyes and turned around from the glass window where Aoi had just passed. He would pay him a visit later anyway. Sakito saw Toshiya more staring at the paper than reading it and then he saw the bags under his eyes.

“Toshiya, what-“ That moment the door opened and Tatsuro came in. Sakito bent down and left the office immediately, murmuring to come back later to collect his papers. He closed the door behind him and Tatsuro and Toshiya were alone.

“You seem rather distracted these days…” Tatsuro observed. “Furthermore…” He leaned forward to grab Toshiya’s chin. “Even when we were at it you seem far away.”

Toshiya, hating when he became so vulgar, moved away from Tatsuro’s grip and glared at him with knitted eyebrows. “So what is it to you?” Toshiya didn’t know that Tatsuro saw the pictures of Hakuei on his computer and Tatsuro stayed silent about it.

“Just wondered.” Truth was that Tatsuro was deeply jealous although he and Toshiya weren’t officially dating… yet. The truth was that he always wanted Toshiya for himself. He was just too proud to admit it. “You seeing someone else?” It kind of slipped out his mouth.

Now that was a first. Toshiya looked quite astonished. “NO?! Besides why should you care? We’re not even dating or something… besides. I think it’s better we return to a stable work relationship. It’s better that way.”

Tatsuro moved around the table and towered above Toshiya who still sat in his chair. “Why now?” Of course he guessed right but he wanted to hear it from Toshiya himself.

“Because it’s better in all aspects. We should have never started-“

Tatsuro hit hard with his hand onto the desk and Toshiya jolted in his chair. His boss was intimidating and the stare he gave told him that he never took 'no' as an answer. Toshiya felt threatened.

“What if….” Tatsuro hissed. “I don’t want to give up? What if I want to have you for myself?”

Shocked, Toshiya looked into the dark, threatening eyes but his heart couldn’t agree. He sensed danger here… why didn't he realize it earlier? Toshiya moved away from his chair into a standing position. Tatsuro turned around as well. “I won’t give up. I want you. What about you?”

Toshiya had an answer but didn’t dare to speak it out loud. “Please calm down Tatsuro-”

“I AM CALM!!”

Toshiya widened his eyes and crossing people outside the office started whispering. It was better for him to leave now.

“This conversation is not over!” Tatsuro said before he slammed the door shut and yelled at the staff outside to continue with their work.

Toshiya who was still shaken, grabbed for some papers he wanted to copy this morning and Sakito’s papers. He walked into the copy room and stopped as soon as he entered… Dejavu. Again, Sakito cornering Aoi in the corner of the room.

“… stop it already.”

Was all Toshiya made out before Aoi dashed out of the room.

Sakito turned around and scratched his head. The wrinkles on his forehead showed that something was not all right.

“Saki, not again….”

But no response came. This was the first time Toshiya saw Sakito trying to collect himself. Toshiya who still felt numb from the outburst in his office was worried about Sakito. For the first time his joyfulness seemed to have vanished and he looked his age, so fragile to him. Sakito leaned against the wall and grabbed his hair in distress. “Jesus, it’s a mess…” Sakito always knew that there were two ways of a hetero reacting after being seduced by the own sex. It's either totally falling for the new lover or regretting and wanting to forget. Toshiya guessed which choice Aoi had made.

“I should have approached him slower and not so fast. He can be very touchy, damn…” Sakito said.

“I’m sorry Saki.”

“It was risky from the start but damn…. It hurts being rejected….” Sakito said. Toshiya nodded with his lips pressed shut. He knew it too well.

“What about you?” Sakito saw the look in Toshiya's eyes.

Toshiya waved up his hand and shook his head. “Sudden outburst of hold back feelings and confessing that he wants me.”

Sakito widened his eyes. “Holy shit! From our Boss? Never thought of him to be the romantic guy-”

“Exactly!” Toshiya interrupted. “He isn't. In his life everything is about possessing. He would never say things like that! Plus we aren’t even dating but now he wants to. Why now?” Toshiya looked at Sakito but he looked into empty eyes himself. Sakito was still hurt because of Aoi’s behavior… he felt Toshiya looking back at him. “I’m sorry Toshiya. My thoughts are drifting away…”

“No problem.”

“Sorry….” Sakito walked out the copy room but not before he had said: “Gotta talk to that bastard first…” And with a wave he left.

Sakito searched the office for Aoi but couldn’t find him anywhere. So he decided to go back to his desk to work for once in a while. Best distraction from personal problems has always been work. He decided to look for him later though. He would not leave before earnest words have been spoken on this day.

He waited for Aoi near the entrance inside the agency after work was finished and Sakito's patience was wearing thin. He waited for 11/2 hours already and would not leave before he spoke to Aoi. And when he approached, Aoi didn’t look happy but he couldn’t ignore this staring gaze which was obviously waiting for him. Sakito had his rare serious look and within a second he gestured for Aoi to follow him to the left side into the company’s storage room. Aoi breathed in deeply but followed in a safe distance.

The older man closed the door and turned around when he found Sakito standing too close for his taste. Aoi stretched out his arm and pushed Sakito away into a safer distance. The blond looked strangely back at him, like not understanding what was going on or why this reaction. Aoi looked at Sakito before he turned his head aside, only to touch his forehead pensively.

“Look, I’m sorry. It’s my fault for making you believe….”

Sakito looked back at him as if he didn't understand the words.

“It should have never happened. It’s my fault for not stopping you….I’m sorry really.” Aoi turned around, ready to leave but Sakito jumped forward and grabbed his arm. Aoi looked back with a stern gaze which pained Sakito only more. He was afraid to let him go. Somehow he had the feeling that he would loose him forever then. “What’s going on Aoi?”

The dark haired man looked down at the floor while Sakito kept holding onto his arm. “That’s the point. Nothing’s going on Sakito. Please respect that I am hetero… always have been.”

Disbelieve and now rage in Sakito’s eyes. His grip tightened and he pulled Aoi closer again but the older man remained stiff as if talking to a stranger here.

“Your reaction that evening was everything else than hetero!”

“You made me! Anybody would react-“

In reflex, Sakito pulled up his hand and he slapped Aoi across the face. Both stopped talking and Aoi released his arm from the tight grip. Both breathed heavily in the silence of the room. It was Aoi who found his words again. “It is better to end everything now. And I mean everything. Don’t bother coming into my office or ever talking to me again. Fare well.”

And with that Aoi left the small room and the door closed shut. Sakito’s hands were shaking, in shock he leaned against the wall. He remained standing but his legs gave in eventually and he sank down to the ground. He hit with his fist against the floor before he grabbed his hair and his shoulder started shaking. It hurt, terribly. Although nothing had really started so far but this kind of cold rejection, just hurt.

Although he didn’t know Aoi for very long, he would have never expected Aoi to be so cold-hearted …. Or maybe Sakito guessed wrong. But his eyes, they were so kind. Why was he so cold now? Maybe Sakito was too pushy. That must be it. He wanted too much too fast.

Tears rolled down his face and he closed his eyes. That escapade moved him too much in this short amount of time. For Sakito it felt like breaking up after a long time, how come? Could it be… maybe…. Maybe he fell in love so quickly?

It hurts. Like hell. Fuck.

  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
Sakito came into Toshiya’s office the next morning with heavy bags under his eyes and they matched up perfectly. He debated looong this morning whether to come to work but Sakito decided not to show weakness so he came... also to see Toshiya and talk to him.

“Morning.” Sakito greeted and slumped down on his usual seat. “Look at you…. You’re mess just like me. Don’t tell me you didn’t sleep as well because of your bastard?”

Toshiya lay his papers down and he looked at Sakito without saying a word. Somehow that glare nearly freaked Sakito out.

“Toshiya, what’s going on?”

Another gaze to the door before he looked back at Sakito again. “I overheard a conversation this morning from the office next door….”

“Yes?” Waiting with anticipation.

“I’m sorry Saki, I’m so sorry.” Toshiya stood up from his desk. “It’s better you forget about him.”

“But why? What’s the matter?”

A sigh. “Your beloved freshman from New York returns home the following week because of taking over the family business there and finally getting married with his longtime fiance.”

It pained Toshiya to see the shock and hurt in Sakito's eyes. He was speechless and the tears that started flowing came silently and uncontrollably.

“Saki?”

The blond just shook his head and stammered. “I … ahm… need some air.” Now everything started to make sense.

“Do you want me to come?”

Another shook with his head. “I’m fine… I mean…” Even more tears set in. “It’s not like I never… guessed that something was… strange.” He clasped his hand over his mouth. Toshiya walked over to Sakito and simply hold him in his arms. The young man cried against his chest and Toshiya cared through his hair. These days, it wasn’t an advertising agency but a dating agency with a guarantee for unfortunate couples.

It took Sakito another thirty minutes before he was able to leave the room and the building in a decent manner. Toshiya sent him home for the rest of the day and Sakito decided to call in sick for the following week. He simply couldn't stand to see him ever again.

Sakito strolled through the nearby park and sank down helplessly on a bench, looking at the fountain in front of him absentminded. Stunned and with this goddamn words circling in his head, he sat there motionless on the bench, his bag between his legs on the ground and his body kind of paralyzed. Only tears rolled down his cheeks… he felt the pain inside, felt so shamefully sorry for himself but then again rage for this guy’s behavior. Then again ashamed for feeling too much for a stranger and again switch to the feeling of broken trust…. Sakito sobbed into his expensive black suit and wiped with one sleeve over his eyes.

“You’ve been hurt?”

Sakito jumped, startled from the sudden voice from his left side. A young man with dark hair sat next to him. The long ponytail was hiding most of his face though. How come he didn't notice him sitting down? He wiped over his eyes another time but the tears just wouldn't stop rolling down. He simply nodded, still not able to answer verbally.

“I see.” The stranger lid a cigarette.

“T-that b-b-b-astard…” Sakito stuttered. “That b-bastard! He will soon be MARRIED?! Can you imagine?! I will never forgive him… that dirtbag! He could have been honest with me from the very start! Then I wouldn’t have fucked him and…”

Sakito started babbling, not caring the people crossing them turning their heads about the dirty words. The other person next to Sakito found it quite amusing and kept on listening and smoking next to Sakito.

“… but he fucked with me anyway!”

A puff of smoke. “That’s low.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!” Sakito had a complete breakdown on the bench and the whole park seemed to look at them. All but not the strange person next to him who seemed to smoke in total serenity. Sakito’s tears dripped to the ground.

“I know how you feel.” Low muttered from the strange person.

“… b-but h-he was so wonderfuuuull!” Another long sob followed by tears and face hiding with his hands. “I will never forget how…. AAAAAAAAAARGH!” Sakito, was devouring in his own break down while the stranger smoked next to him as if nothing could ever shock him. The stranger turned his head at Sakito whose body was sunken into a crouch on the bench. Having a slight feeling of pity, the stranger stretched out his arm and he patted Sakito on his head. The blond stopped sobbing for an instant and looked up from his hands. For the first time at the strangers face who had ironically a lip piercing as well.

He stopped sobbing… or at least he tried. “W-who are you?” The question was kind of melodramatic.

“Ni~ya.”

Sakito narrowed his eyes. It was an unusual name but yet it fit him.

“Sakito.” He said very low and for an instant it seemed as if Ni~ya was nodding to himself.

“Forget that bastard.”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!” He started to cry again. “I hate him how could he and….!!!”

Ni~ya kept on patting him and he ended up having Sakito crying on his shoulder and complaining about what kind of bastard Aoi was and men in general and bla bla bla…

Ni~ya slightly smiled at himself. Although he was no longer in heaven and a middle ranked Demon by now, he felt like really being there for Sakito the first time. Some things never seemed to change. So of course he recalled Aoi from his time in heaven who split up with Ryutaro many years ago. It was interesting how he had turned out on earth…. a two timing bastard. Well, on the other hand he never really knew Aoi either.

But wait a minute… Heaven had this strange Karma thing going on. Meaning that there must be Karma going on between Sakito and Aoi. Could it be?

The moment he asked himself pictures shot through his head while he still touched Sakito’s hair. Ni~ya left heaven ages ago, Sakito was without a Guardian Angel back then…. And then an image of Aoi came into mind. SO THAT’S how it was after he had left. Aoi must have become Sakito’s Guardian Angel after that.

“Tell me.” Ni~ya started. “Do you know a person named Toshiya?”

Sakito stopped sobbing and Ni~ya pulled back his arm. He dropped his cigarette and looked back at Sakito who looked kind of astonished. “How come you know my superior?”

Ni~ya widened his eyes. Almost no one had heard of Toshiya after ‘that’ incident a century ago. In hell they all though that he had died in some way after Hakuei had vanished. But of course that nuisance was still around and Ni~ya wondered why. Of course… the same souls did get reborn again and again but why now? Well not that he cared. It wasn’t his business any longer and he was only on earth because he was looking for energy and souls with inhuman power to drag them to his side.

“I think we’ve had the same friends a long time ago but I’m sure he wouldn't recall me. Just forget it.”

Sakito nodded and for the first time he had his sobs under control. Ni~ya felt kind of sorry for him. Sakito had always been a happy guy. At least this never seemed to have changed about him.

And looking at Sakito like that, Ni~ya wondered what would have happened if he had just stayed with him. Would it have been enough? An Angel, marked by misfortune? It was really hard back then but he somehow found peace in hell because they just let him be. Sad story? Maybe but that’s how it was.

“So what kind of work are you doing?”

“I’m a freshman in an advertising agency.”

“Do you like it?” Meanwhile Ni~ya smoked his second cigarette.

“Very much… just confused work and private matters…. Won’t happen again.”

“Hn.”

“And you?” Sakito asked.

“Me? Ahm…. I’m traveling a lot. No steady job, no steady home…”

“Oh, I’m sorry for asking.”

“It’s ok.”

Silence.

“Thank you for the distraction.”

Ni~ya looked back at Sakito. “It was nothing.”

“It helped a lot… other people don’t even care.”

“No one ever does. That’s life I guess.”

“Yes, pity.”

Ni~ya nodded and found it rather strange that Sakito looked directly at him or more his face and Sakito wondered. “Do I know you from somewhere?” Suddenly a picture of art shot through Sakito’s head. Somehow he had to think about Ni~ya painted as an Angel on a large picture…. Which seemed like a stupid idea. Sakito pushed the thought aside. This shady person with his dark hair and leather jacket looked anything else than angelic.

Ni~ya puffed out some smoke and laughed under his breath. “You think so?”

Sakito nodded.

“Well… maybe in another life.” Ni~ya smiled at him and Sakito, thinking it was a joke, smiled with him.

“Guess you’re right. Somehow you meet people and they seem familiar. Anyway…” Sakito stood up and he slung his bag over his shoulder. “I should go home. I called in sick and I’m sitting here chatting. I’m sorry again for the inconvenience.” Sakito bowed down.

Ni~ya looked at Sakito. And he realized that it was the first time for Ni~ya to meet his former protégé in human form. They had never talked or exchanged words before and astonishingly…. It was quite nice. He could imagine to talk to him again.

“You come here often?” Ni~ya asked.

Sakito looked surprised. “No, not really.”

“Pity.” Another puff of smoke. “So…. Have a good time and forget about that bastard.” Thinking: He has always been a wishy-washy guy. And again: Some things never change.

Sakito nodded. And with a last thank you and bow he left Ni~ya sitting on the bench and he headed home from the troubled day.

Ni~ya looked after Sakito. Again he was reborn with such a fragile body and still such a strong creative soul. Maybe just because of him he regretted to have left heaven. But nevertheless…

… they will see each other again.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The door to Toshiya’s office opened and closed silently again. He was used to Sakito entering like that. Without looking up Toshiya said: “Saki I told you we will be fine. You go home and-“ He stopped and found Tatsuro standing…. Or more towering over him in total silence but with the well known deadly gaze.

What a promising day it was. First Sakito got his day ruined and now it was his turn.

“Tatsuro, I really need this job to be done. Can we talk later?”

“I’m here because of business matters.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“You sent one of my subordinates home?”

“Ahm… yes. But he’s in my charge and he was not feeling well.“

“You can not make these choices on your own!”

Toshiya put his glasses down and he stood up as well to look Tatsuro in the eye. “You’re treating me like a freshman although I’m a division manager!”

“Anyway! You speak to me first before making this kind of choices!”

Toshiya stayed silent and he crossed his arms over his chest. Tatsuro looked back at him and found his silence quite disturbing. “WHAT?!” Tatsuro asked.

“Look at you… getting touchy because of such a minor matter. You’re acting like a self-righteous asshole because of-“

Tatsuro cut off his words by stepping forward and kissing Toshiya forcefully out of the blue. Toshiya was shocked and wanted to step back but Tatsuro hold onto him, his long dark hair slipped over Toshiya’s face…. And the annoyed tone changed to a gasp in passion. That was when Tatsuro broke their hard kiss and he looked at Toshiya.

“I want you and I’m pissed because you are keeping yourself from me!”

There it was again. Something threatening and dangerous… something Toshiya always feared about Tatsuro. He felt that Tatsuro was a guy capable of anything. Besides….

“You want me too much. It hurts you and sooner or later it will hurt me. Please understand, it will never work out.”

With a threatening gaze Tatsuro moved closer to Toshiya and he hissed at him through his teeth. “Soon you will see that I am the best you can get and you will pine over the thought about having me.”

Toshiya moved back with a shocked face. Was that just a threat? “You should hear yourself talking.”

Tatsuro smiled balefully. Then he turned around and left the office as silent as he had entered it.

Toshiya sank down onto one of his chairs and for the first time, he was really scared of what Tatsuro could possibly do to get his will. One thing was for certain: Him staying in this company was only a question of time.

 


	37. Chapter 37

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 37

The Last Chapter

2 of 5

 

**Hakuei and Toshiya**

 

**~ Afterlife ~**

 

 

Hakuei sat in zazen on the temple's terrace, meditating. His legs crossed on one large cushion and his fingers were entangled. His eyes were closed and his head stiff and concentrated… or so it seemed to the outside. Zazen was a technique to forget about all judgments, words and thoughts of the day. Normally.

Again he saw Toshiya’s face, the eyes which searched for him, plead him to tell him something about his parents… it was not that Hakuei didn't know about them…. This pleading eyes… He wanted to forget about them and about the past… the blood stained past…. The sins they had all committed these days. He had to atone for what happened these days and after all this years of meditating and asking about the sense of life, he was slowly on his way to make peace with himself and to accept that things happened and cannot be undone.

That’s when he came along.

Just before Hakuei was almost able to sleep a whole night without dreams and thoughts…. He had to come along.

Hakuei furrowed his brows and his position shifted and became unsteady. Thankfully another monk reminded him to sit straight with a beat of a long bamboo stick on his shoulder. Oh, how he hated this practice… but it taught him humbleness and patience. Two virtues he hadn’t possessed 24 years ago…

A loud gong chimed from the bell outside and the meditating practice this midday was over. The monks stood up to prepare their evening tea. Hakuei followed the monks outside the temple to walk back into the other temple when he overheard a low conversation from passing monks.

“… I’ve seen him before.”

“Me too. Wonder why he keeps coming…”

Only by the pieces of their conversation, Hakuei had an inkling whom they were talking about. Hakuei turned around to look at the back entrance gate and in the distance he found a meanwhile familiar silhouette leaning against the side of the wall. Hakuei paused. Maybe he should just ignore him and pretend as if he saw nothing. But on the other hand Toshiya’s visits already caused attention of his fellow monks… he couldn't ignore him even if he wanted to.

With a lowered head he walked slowly towards the gate. He felt Toshiya lifting his head and staring at him from under his long strands of hair. Hakuei stopped in front of the iron bars but didn’t open the gate. “It’s impossible for you to come here just like you please. The other monks already noticed you coming here all the time…”

“Then meet me outside.”

Hakuei hissed in disbelieve. “This is not a vacation resort where you can leave as you please…”

“I know but isn’t there any chance-“

“Even if there would be, I decline.”

Toshiya moved away from his leaning position and turned against the iron bars to hold them tight with his hands. So tight that his knuckles turned white and his stare became serious and dark. Hakuei never saw him like that before.

“Imagine you are 28 years old and one important part of your memories is completely deleted. And now one stranger shows up and he seems to know something about the family which was almost completely extinguished years ago. Unfortunately this essential memory was the forgotten part no one seems to be able to restore… what would you do?!”

Hakuei lifted up his chin and he had his arms crossed over his chest again, his black Buddhist kimono floated with the cold wind. “I’m sorry, I can’t help you. It was just a coincidence knowing the name Hara-“

Toshiya stretched out his arm. He grabbed through the iron bars and pulled Hakuei close to the bars at his clothes. Toshiya moved his hand up to Hakuei’s collar and their faces were only inches away from each other. It was the first time Hakuei really looked into Toshiya’s eyes and the first feeling he got was ‘strength’. He knew that Toshiya could handle the truth but now Hakuei wasn’t so sure if HE himself wanted to stir up the past.

Hakuei lost in the glaring contest in looking down to the ground. He couldn’t stand this pleading, dark eyes. Toshiya breathed heavily from the agitation and his gaze wandered to Hakuei’s muscular throat down to his shoulder which was half bare because he hold Hakuei firmly on his clothes…. Around Hakuei’s collarbone he saw the beginning of a colorful tattoo….. Hakuei noticed Toshiya staring and moved back in shock.

Images shot through Toshiya’s head and in shock he let go of Hakuei’s clothes and he stumbled back. Hakuei hastily put his clothes back in order. Another door to the truth has forcefully been opened. Hakuei moved closer to the bars again and he hissed.

“Don’t you understand?! Your visits could cause me being forced to leave since you’re disturbing our daily routine!”

Toshiya furrowed his brows and with a furious expression he looked back at Hakuei. “What do you fear most… 'monk'? You loosing your face in front of the other monks or me discovering something you want to forget?”

“Both.” Hakuei boldly admitted. “And now respect it, leave and never come back.”

With that Hakuei turned around and he walked back to the temple, ignoring the hole burning stares from behind his back. He closed the sliding door to his little room and he leaned against the wooden wall, slowly slumping down the wall to sit on the ground. He leaned with his head against the wall and closed his eyes. What could he possibly do? It was a dilemma. No matter what he said, Toshiya always came back… like he always did, even when he was a little child. It was naturally for him to follow Hakuei like a dog…. It was something he used to do when he was still very young.

It was an inner urge to stand up and a reflex when he undressed from his upper part of clothing, revealing his naked chest to himself in the small mirror.

The Tattoos were all over his body, from the collarbone down to his wrists, down his breast and all the way back his shoulders and even deeper. Even if he wanted to hide his past, it was clearly tattooed all over his body. Thankfully he was able to hide it all these years underneath the long robes.

But and now it was _him_ who forced him to be open about it. _Him_ … _he_ whom he had sworn to protect….

Hakuei slumped down to the ground again and he hold his left wrist achingly firm with the other hand. A long scar crossed the colorful tattoo on the front of his forearm. Ashamed, Hakuei looked away and wondered why now? Why now after all these years? He was so close to move on and find peace. Why him? Why had Toshiya found him now?

Maybe it was his own fault to enter a temple in the same city. He should have left the country when there was still time to do it. Now he was unprotected and weak… a shadow of the man he had once been. Back in the old days when he was 18 years old when he had joined the honorable Hara family and now… being 42 years old… he was too old to change his destiny.

“Hakuei-san? We will have tea now.” A monk said from outside the corridor.

Hakuei jolted in his break down-state and hastily pulled up his robe again. “I will be there in a second.” Covering himself up tightly, he joined his fellow monks for tea and hoped that the traces of long forgotten feelings didn't show on his face.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

These Tattoos…. They triggered something within Toshiya. He knew that this was one piece of the jigsaw and memories were full with them but he couldn't fully recall it. He only remembered colors and tracing them with his tiny fingers.

Toshiya swore to himself to visit Hakuei so long until he would tell him something about the past WHICH Hakuei clearly knew something about. He also couldn't get rid of the feeling that he knew Hakuei’s voice from somewhere. This deep, calm voice. It calmed Toshiya every time he said something. He also suspected that Hakuei was in that temple to hide. No matter what or why but he put himself in there out of free will and he fought strongly to keep it that way.

And he was the only link alive to his past.

Toshiya jolted in his seat when the door to his office closed with loud shut and Tatsuro stood in front of him. Toshiya was in no mood to fight or argue today.

“Tatsuro, I’m in no mood to fight with you today…” Toshiya said without looking up from his papers. Tatsuro narrowed his eyes and he sat down in front of Toshiya’s desk and leaned forward, looking closely at Toshiya and searching his face.

“What are you doing?” Toshiya asked still reading.

“Didn’t get much sleep that night?”

Toshiya shrugged but didn’t answer.

“What’s the bastards name?”

Toshiya remained silent. Any twitch would betray him now and somehow his feelings told him that he didn't want Tatsuro to know or suspect anything.

“What are you talking about?” Toshiya asked nonchalantly.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t.” Playing dumb was the only help now. And call it a good day, Tatsuro changed direction of his questions but not to a better one.

“Well…. Have you thought about my offer?”

Toshiya looked up from his papers. “What offer?”

“About you being mine.”

Toshiya breathed out loud and leaned back in his seat. Okay, Tatsuro was a man who didn’t tolerate or understood the meaning of ‘no’. Toshiya told him clearly more than once that he didn't want to be in a relationship with him and that he really appreciated it to return to a stable boss-employee relationship. “Tatsuro, the only relationship we will return to is a stable working relationship, nothing more.”

Tatsuro smiled although he was NOT amused at all. “Look at you. Every time I kiss you, I touch you…” Tatsuro stood up and Toshiya followed his moves with a certain panic in his eyes as Tatsuro was physically stronger and taller than him. “…YOU get undone.” Tatsuro ended his sentence when he put his knee between Toshiya’s legs on the chair.

“Don’t Tats-“ Toshiya wanted to retard but the older man pushed him back into the chair with a shove on his shoulder. He leaned close with his face but Toshiya shoved him back and jumped up from his chair. He leaned against the wall and breathed hard from anger. “What’s this going to be Tatsuro?! Next you will take me by force?!!”

Tatsuro slowly walked up to Toshiya with his hands in his pocket. Dressed all in black and with his long black hair, he played the part of looking threatening. He leaned forward with his head, with his hands still in his pockets though. With a cold face he looked at Toshiya. “If it’s this what it takes.”

Toshiya widened his eyes in shock.

“I’m joking.” Tatsuro laughed and moved back to walk to the door. “Again, please consider my request.” He said before he left the office and the door closed shut.

Toshiya’s body became limp and he glided down the wall to the floor. His eyes started to moisture. Only now he allowed himself to be weak as he never dared to show weakness in front of Tatsuro because then he would be devoured by the strange man. His body and soul. That man… he was dangerous and Toshiya wondered why he never saw that side of him before. How could he have hooked up with him for so long? He must have been quite frustrated when he started this long lasting affair.

Toshiya needed to leave the company. Tatsuro would never let him be that’s what he was sure of.

Toshiya went straight home after work to collect his thoughts and to think about his future.

He would turn in his letter of resignation at the end of the week when his last commercial was done.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was the last meditation before going to bed early in the evening and Hakuei sat on his Tatami mats inside his own little room. He had the sliding door opened to the garden and the full moon was the only source of light. With his eyes closed, he concentrated on the perfect silence... and that was when in front of his inner eye, the light of the full moon vanished and everything became black.

In reflex, he opened his eyes.

“Hello.”

A low dark voice greeted him. Hakuei's eyes wandered up and when he saw the face of the stranger, he couldn't believe his eyes.

“Tatsuro.” A long pause followed before Hakuei continued. “You will leave this property immediately.” Hakuei heard the man with the dark long hair chuckling in the darkness of the room.

“You are giving me orders?” Sounds of slow pacing interrupted the silence. “Interesting.” He stepped into the moon light and Hakuei realized that nothing about him had changed. His eyes were as mean as ever.

Hakuei finally stood up and although they were both the same height and Hakuei slightly stronger from his built, he didn't underestimate him.

“So it is about the Hara family after all. You coming here proved my assumptions to be right.” Hakuei said.

“I came here to say thank you.”

Hakuei wondered. “How so?”

Tatsuro stopped at the veranda door frame and leaned against it. “Let’s say…. You’re causing a lot of trouble on my stock market these days.”

“What kind of stock---“ Hakuei paused when he realized whom he meant. “I see. Don’t get me wrong, he found me.”

Tatsuro pulled up his chin, in his eyes something Hakuei couldn't read. “But you won’t hurt him.” Hakuei's tone was almost threatening.

Tatsuro smirked. “Or else you will do…. What? Monk? Here inside your temple? Your heydays as Gangster are long over. YOU should lie here kissing my feet for sparing your lousy life.”

Hakuei walked up to Tatsuro and he looked back at him with a stern gaze. “Maybe you should beg me for sparing the police with your story?”

Tatsuro snickered. “I am the police. The police is mine.”

“Part of it.” Hakuei added and he was right. Everybody knew that the whole Police was bought by the Yakuza. But different Yakuza families owned different parts of the city and so different families were involved into political businesses.

“You didn’t come here to remind me of old Yakuza business do you? What do you want from me?” Hakuei asked again.

“I want you to leave and never come back.” And the way Tatsuro said it Hakuei knew that he was not joking. It was outrageous and Hakuei would have loved to declare war but he couldn't... not when Toshiya stood between them.

“If you promise not to harm him then I will leave immediately.”

A fake smile from Tatsuro. “ I can guarantee you that I will take good care of him.”

A sudden feeling of sickness added to the anger. Tatsuro was the last person Hakuei wanted to see next to Toshiya. Not after all that had happened but Toshiya didn't remember anyway.... it was sick. The whole idea of it and this guy too. Nevertheless, for Toshiya, Hakuei stayed calm.

“You keep your word and I keep mine.” Were Hakuei’s last words.

Tatsuro took one last glance of Hakuei before he walked back to the sliding door. “You better cooperate or things get ugly.” And then he disappeared into the shadows and left the property.

Hakuei stood on the same spot and balled his fists. First Toshiya came back into this life after 20 years and he also brought Tatsuro back with him, most likely without even knowing who this guy really was. And the relationship the two of them had, Hakuei didn't want to imagine it. Everything about this made him feel sick. Very sick.

And he realized that not only Toshiya had found him, he brought his whole past with him.

He should have left a long time ago.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was a lovely little neighborhood where Sakito lived. A single small apartment, half an hour outside the city center and surrounded with greens. Sakito gave him his address earlier and Toshiya was glad to see a friendly face after his personal drama. “Toshiya! So good to see you! Please come in.”

“Thank you Saki. How are you feeling?”

Sakito shrugged and pointed Toshiya to sit down on a little chair in the kitchen corner. There wasn’t really a living room, only one more Tatami room to sleep and live in it. It was very small but cozy. Sakito sat down across from Toshiya on the kitchen table and offered coffee.

“To be honest, right now I’m feeling nothing. But that’s okay. I’m glad that I can distract myself with work at home. But how are things at work?”

Toshiya paused and by his look Sakito knew that something wasn’t all right. “Oh no...”

“Saki, I would have loved to continue being your supervisor but I can’t stay in this agency any longer.”

Sakito looked shocked and almost spilled his coffee. “W-what are you talking about? There is no point for me in staying if you leave.”

Toshiya smiled at that and he would miss Sakito too, tremendously. “I would really love to stay because of you but a certain person makes it impossible.”

“Did he threaten you again?”

Toshiya nodded. “Guess you can say that…. Well he approached me a few more times since you left and the last time he joked about taking me by force and Saki, you know Tatsuro… I believe every word he says.”

Saki nodded. “You’re right. You have to leave..... But I will miss you so much!” Saki was sulking but Toshiya took his hands and said: “You are my friend. I will always be there if you need me.”

“Thank you so much. And I will be there for you.” Sakito looked almost cute and Toshiya smiled.

“If you ask me…” Toshiya started. “That bastard never deserved you. He must be totally blind.”

Sakito moved back and he knew that Toshiya meant Aoi. “What about that guy? He already left?”

“End of the week. But I haven’t seen or talked to him either. Not that I care… if he deserts my friend, he may burn in hell for it.”

Sakito leaned back on his chair and changed topic. “When are you planning to leave?”

“I will turn in my letter of resignation at the end of the week. There are still some jobs to finish and then I’ll be gone. I know it’s really fast and everything but I can’t stay there any longer. You should have seen him. I was really afraid of him…”

Toshiya leaned with his elbows on the table and Saki suddenly smiled. “So what about your monk? What part does he play?”

“Honestly… I have no idea. He blurted out something about my family name and I got the impression that he knew something about my past. My deleted childhood memories-“

Sakito sucked in his breath. “I never knew!”

“I know… hardly anyone does. So I kept on visiting him and he keeps on pushing me only further away and damn... It’s just frustrating.” Toshiya grabbed his hair. “I got the impression to know his voice from when I was a child. I even saw the tip of a Tattoo on his shoulder and I swear I know these colors and pictures. But he refuses any more contact.”

Sakito looked very interested at Toshiya. “Sounds like a story from a movie.”

“I know it sounds crazy but my world has always been like that. Guess it can’t be helped.”

“So what are you planning to do now?”

“Looking for Hakuei again. I need to talk to him. Somehow outside the temple and if I have to drag him out myself.”

Sakito smiled. “Already sounds like an old couple quarrel.”

Toshiya’s cheeks reddened a little bit and he breathed out. “For a start I wish we could just talk normally with each other…. He totally rejects me.”

Sakito hissed in disbelieve. “A bunch of unfortunate bastards we are. But you can make it Toshiya! Fight for him! I’ve never had the chance to fight for my guy but at least we know that the monk is free, is he not?”

“Not really. He seems to be married with his morals. He’s hiding something and I know it is not okay for me to push and force him. But I can’t help it. I’ve got the feeling that something very important from my memories is missing and I need to get it again… I’m feeling bad I have to pester that goddamn monk though.”

Sakito smiled. “You’re not.”

“ARGH! Okay! I like to pester him and goddamn I love it when he gets agitated or mad because these are the only reactions he brings towards me!”

Sakito patted Toshiya’s hand. “Desperation can be so mean.”

Toshiya checked his watch. “Damn, I have to leave. And you Sakito!” Toshiya pointed at him. “Keep up the good work at the agency when I’m gone! You can learn a lot there and call me if you need anything. Don’t think about quitting yourself okay?!”

“Understood.” Sakito nodded.

“You’ve got my mobile and home number. Call me anytime.”

“I know.”

“The time you’re coming back to work, I will already be gone.”

Sakito pouted again and Toshiya added. “You’re too cute. Make sure not to get eaten by the strange design bastards in there.”

“Oh yes pleeeease!” A great beam from the happy go lucky Sakito and Toshiya was glad that he seemed to feel better.

“So what are you doing at home? Looking for a new job?”

“First I will do so family research and then… God knows what.” Toshiya walked to the door. “We will stay in contact. You will hear from me!”

“Yup!” Sakito hugged Toshiya before the busy body jumped out the apartment and back to the office to get some things done.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was late at the advertising agency and Tatsuro was literally buried behind his huge desk. Two large computers were switched on and he rut through a huge stack of papers. A knock on his door and he answered annoyed to enter. His longtime colleague entered and took a seat right in front of Tatsuro’s desk.

“Ruka! Glad you’re here… I wanted to talk to you anyway.”

Ruka was (next to Ni~ya’s former Guardian Angel in heaven over a century ago) Tatsuro’s best friend on earth now and right hand when it came to ‘business matters’. He worked at the agency as well but his job was more facade than anything else. Ruka tossed an envelope onto the table.

“Guess you find that quite interesting.”

Tatsuro glared at Ruka before he opened the envelope. He pulled out a stack of photos and looked at them… an old known face, secretly photographed. Tatsuro dropped them indifferently as Hakuei’s face sprawled over his table.

“I know about him. Also been there already.”

Ruka looked back at him in disbelieve. “Really?! And for me it was absolute NEWS to see his face again after such a long time…. That lousy coward.”

Tatsuro stood up and lid a cigarette. “Any news about my stocks?”

“Nothing new. The boys were looking for information everywhere. Seems that Toshiya is still indecisive about the heritage of the Hara dojo…”

“… and the Hara fortune.” Tatsuro ended Ruka’s sentence. “Can’t believe his grandfather dropped out of Yakuza business after ‘that’ incident.”

“Well, are you surprised? Look at that boy… for this kind of business, he is weak--”

Before Ruka was able to end his sentence, Tatsuro had already grabbed Ruka around his collar and pulled him up close. “Toshiya may be a pussy when it comes to this kind of matters but he is my chosen Princess and I am the only one allowed to talk about him like that… understood?”

Ruka nodded. “Sure.” And Tatsuro dropped him back in the chair again.

“Jeez, you’re touchy today….” Ruka muttered.

Tatsuro let out a puff of smoke. Ruka could tell that things were not going according to plan and that Tatsuro’s nerves were thin.

“You keep your eyes open for any changes, tell that my subordinates! Especially these days… I can smell it. Something is in the air…”

“Understood.” Ruka stood up, ready to leave the office. “Ah, the freshman’s leaving in two days.”

“So what?”

“Just wanted to inform you.”

“Hn.”

And Ruka left. Tatsuro moved back behind his desk and picked up the photos again. With the cigarette hanging from his mouth, he skipped through the stack of photos. Hakuei from behind at meditation in the morning, same during midday and evening… Hakuei sweeping the floor… Tatsuro laughed silently, seeing that oversized man sitting in between these old men during meditation. He looked so out of place and Tatsuro wondered why no one ever questioned such an obviously conspicuous guy about his whereabouts. Hakuei used to be a Tiger, a fighter. With blood dripping from his hands and now he held rosaries for prayers instead of a sword. NOT that Tatsuro cared. Tatsuro was quite pleased with Hakuei backing off like he pleased. He was able to form Hakuei just the way he wanted it. And he better obeyed.

Tatsuro shuffled to the next picture and it made his face go blank. His blood was boiling and he crumbled the photo with his hands. He closed his eyes and unfolded it again, looking at Toshiya’s face, holding Hakuei at his collar through the iron gate with a pleading look in his eyes… they were so full of… he had no idea. Toshiya never showed him that kind of face which was in a strange way passionate about what he did. Or maybe once. He recalled that face on Toshiya once….

“ _Nooooo! Please don’t harm him!………… MOM! DAD!!!”_

Tatsuro burned the photo over his ashtray, a murderous glare on his face. He would do everything to make Toshiya his and with him the old Hara Yakuza family… or what was left of it. The Iwagami Yakuza and Hara Yakuza family united. What prosperity and what strength he would have. And nothing or no one would be able to stop him. Not even Toshiya himself.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya turned in his letter of resignation the following day and he had talked to the human resources department about him leaving end of the week because of ‘urgent family business’. This was the only reason they got and a doctor's statement followed to be released without a notice period.

Toshiya also handed over his remaining work to his closest colleagues and finished most of the important things in one morning. He did everything as quickly and silently as possible because before Tatsuro heard of it, he wanted to be gone.

It was cold outside and Toshiya tugged his hands into his coat pockets while he turned left into the silent street which went up to the well known temple grounds. It became a habit of him to walk this road almost everyday… although the circumstances were complicated. He wasn't a welcomed guest but he had to talk to him desperately. Only one earnest conversation, nothing more! Why was that so complicated.

Toshiya walked around the Temple grounds and looked at several the monks doing their chords. Normally, he spotted Hakuei very quickly but call it stupid… the moment he set foot onto the grounds, Toshiya felt that Hakuei was gone. In panic, he walked to the information desk and came up with a reason to ask for Hakuei’s help.

“Hello.” Toshiya tried to calm down when he greeted the old monk who leaned over the temple’s schedule calendar. “I’m sorry for the interruption but I wondered if monk Tanaka-san could hold a private ceremony at my family’s shrine.” What a clever idea, Toshiya thought. Why didn’t he come up with that earlier? Basically a Hakuei home delivery….

The old monk bent down as he answered politely. “I’m afraid I have to decline. Mr. Tanaka-san left the order yesterday but I could recommend you someone else—“

“Impossible! Why now? Where to?”

The old monk looked rather surprised about the outburst “I’m really sorry. It came rather sudden and we don't know about his whereabouts either.”

It felt like a hit in the face while the numb feeling went down his spine. Toshiya steadied himself at the wooden counter and caught his breath.

“A-are you all right Mr.?”

Toshiya shook his head. “To be honest, it's urgent family business where Mr. Tanaka is involved….” Toshiya moved closer and whispered. “You see… It is all about a huge fortune he has to inherit and his family is looking all over for him…” Toshiya hardly lied but in this case it was at least partially true.

“Hmmm, I see. That’s grave indeed…”

“But I understand that you don’t know about his whereabouts. So I guess the huge fortune will be contributed to the Christian church instead… because his uncle used to be Christian---”

Toshiya saw the monk’s eyes moving into thin slits and his brows furrowed. That’s when he pulled out a leather-bound book from under his desk and he skimmed through the pages. He murmured to himself and stopped all of a sudden. He moved closer to Toshiya and the young man bent down because the monk started to whisper as well. “You never got that information from me understand?”

Toshiya nodding obediently.

“He went on a pilgrimage around the south of Honshu. You will find him in this temple…” The monk scribbled a few Kanji onto a tiny piece of paper and shifted it over to Toshiya. Quickly, he moved back and pretended as if nothing happened.

“Hope you will come back soon to visit us again.” A slight nod from the monk and Toshiya bent down deeply. “I’m very sorry for my intrusion and thank you very much.”

He left the temple grounds as quickly as possible. May the Gods forgive him for being so mischievous but it was an emergency. And in his mind, Toshiya had already booked the train tickets and packed his suitcase….

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was around midday the next day when Ruka dashed through the offices and out to the corridor to the elevators. Impatiently he pushed the button again and again and since everything was too slow this morning, he decided to jump up the stairs to Tatsuro’s office. He took two steps at the time and literally fell through the door of Tatsuro's office, who sat clad elegantly and with is mobile phone in hand, ready to make a call. In utter surprise, he observed Ruka closing the door silently and catching his breath.

“Ruka! What the hell’s going on?!”

Ruka only gasped. “T-Toshiya…. He he-“

“What for goodness sake?!”

“He quit.”

Tatsuro stood up from behind his desk. “What?”

“Yesterday. It is all legitimate. Human resources knows about it and gave its consent. His tasks were taken care of and his office is empty and clean.”

No one ever caught Tatsuro speechless but this time it was written all over his face. He couldn’t believe it. It came so sudden. He would have never expected Toshiya to do something like this which seemed rushed, unlikely and most of all very unwanted from his side.

Tatsuro was very still until he finally left his office and Ruka behind. He jumped down the stairs to the floor where Toshiya’s office was as if he needed to see it for himself. He dashed into it and came to a halt in the middle of the cleaned, deserted office. Toshiya’s personal belongings were all gone and nothing remained of him.

Tatsuro closed his eyes and balled his fists. Hurt and most of all anger welled up inside of him. Not only was he mad in a Yakuza’s and Chief’s point of view… also as long-term Lover he was admitted hurt about Toshiya disappearing like that without a last word.

Ruka knocked at the door and entered as well.

“I’m sorry. I only heard of it today.”

Tatsuro tried to collect his thoughts. “Where did he go to?”

“No information or address was left at human resources. No one knows.”

“And what about the monk?”

“No news. But your men spotted Toshiya at the temple yesterday and he left afterwards without seeing Hakuei.” Tatsuro turned around and pulled Ruka close to him at his collar. He hissed. “Does that sound like nothing to you?!!”

“No, of course not! We will investigate immediately.”

Tatsuro let go of Ruka with a murderous glare. “Quick. I want news from you within this day.”

“Of course. “ Ruka bent down and walked to the door when Tatsuro spoke again. “And what about Toshiya’s favorite colleague here... Sakito? Did he come back to work already?”

“I will look for him immediately.” And Ruka left Tatsuro back in the office.

Tatsuro hated when things got out of his control and he was sure that he would get Toshiya back, in any possible way. When Toshiya left without another word, it was a declaration of war.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya jolted in his sleep during his Shinkansen ride down to the South Coast of Honshu. He opened his eyes and somehow felt like waking up from a nightmare. Related to that he wondered if Tatsuro already knew..... he surely must knew by now. Toshiya couldn't tell because he had his mobile phone switched off as he was slightly paranoid of getting tracked.

Toshiya focused on his tasks ahead. A thousand scenarios and reasons went through his head. How he would encounter Hakuei, which reasons and cheap explanations he would give but none of them seemed right without seeming too selfish. Most of all he feared the possible question of why he took the trouble in finding him so far away....

_Because I need every information about my erased memories and my family…_ Or most likely…

Because I wanted to see you

_Because I can’t stand the thought of never seeing you again_

_Because I need you around me from time to time_

_And because I… care._

Toshiya looked out of the window and observed the trees and fields passing by. The surface was covered with thin ice and soon it would surely start to snow.

It was boredom when he drew into his notebook. The head of a dragon then he added legs and wings, feathers… it winded over the pages. That’s when he stopped and really looked at the doodle. It came to him like thunder. It was the beginning of Hakuei’s tattoo or at least the top of what he saw the other day.

Toshiya jolted from the announcement that their destination would be reached any minute now. He tugged his scarf around his throat and got his trolley and bag, ready for departure.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hakuei breathed in the cold winter air while he sat on a futon meditating in an estranged temple between a few unknown monks.

He should have done this a long time ago, leaving his past, this cursed city and all its memories behind. It felt like weight taken from his shoulders... until he saw Toshiya's face in front of his inner eye during meditation and his concentration sank. The following sense of guilt didn't suit him at all and the idea of 'maybe' he should at least have said good bye lay heavily on his conscience. It was also strange that Hakuei seemed to remember everything and Toshiya nothing at all, he even forgot about Hakuei after all these years until they miraculously found each other again.

But that was in the past now and Hakuei concentrated especially hard on 'peace of mind'.... he should have added the feeling of 'loss' and 'regret' to his meditation practice, since the almost daily visits came to a sudden halt too, which were always inconvenient for all their peace of mind.

Hakuei rubbed the wooden pearls of his rosary together as he breathed out long.

For keeping Toshiya save, he even left the city. It was Tatsuro's condition and served them both well. But why Hakuei pressed his teeth strongly shut by the mere thought of it, he couldn't tell. Leaving his hatred for Tatsuro aside, was it cowardly of him to just leave or was it strength to let go of the past? That was a question he constantly asked himself as a Buddhist and hoped for an answer during meditation.

The temple's bell tolled with a low buzzing sound and their meditation time was over. The monks stood up and they came together in the main room of the temple. Before going to bed the leading monk always addressed things for the following day. So they sat together in the huge tatami room and silent chatter could be heard. Their senior monk spoke up: “Fellow monks. There is one new announcement to make today. Our brotherhood is very pleased to welcome a temporary stay to our circle. Please welcome our brother Toshimasa.”

The clasping sounds from his fellow brothers sounded numb in Hakuei's ears, his body was frozen to the spot and he held his breath for just a moment. No, it couldn't be. There were so many people with the same name and---

And that moment Toshiya entered the tatami room and he bowed down deeply in front of the group. In utter panic, Hakuei, who sat in the back of the room looked left and right but no one seemed to notice his confusion. Their senior monk spoke up again after Toshiya was done with his introduction. “Brother Hakuei! I’ve heard that you are from the same region as monk Toshimasa and I am also aware that you both have just arrived but maybe you want to stick together for the time being to get used to everything.”

It was then that Toshiya’s and Hakuei’s gaze met for the first time here. Hakuei wore an unreadable glare while Toshiya’s eyes shone bright all of a sudden. Hakuei cursed at himself for that unexpected turn of events. Hakuei would SO talk to him later that evening.

The senior dismissed the monks for their bed time and Hakuei, as one of the last ones, walked up to the front.

“You two will just be fine. If you have any questions, you can come to me as well of course.” The senior bent down and left the room as well. Slightly uneasy, Toshiya observed the senior monk leaving the room and when he turned his attention back at Hakuei, the uneasiness increased.

Without another word, Hakuei grabbed Toshiya’s wrist and pulled him forcefully outside the temple into the nearby wood which surrounded their grounds.

“Hakuei! Just… Hakuei! You’re hurting me! Wait!”

Hakuei came to a halt in the forest and when he pulled a last time on Toshiya forcefully, the young man stumbled and almost fell to the ground.

“Ouch!” What the hell?!” Toshiya said angrily.

“I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME!!! Do you have any idea how headless and stupid your actions are?!!!”

“Oh I’m sorry for following my intuition!”

“Your intuition must be poled for suicide then!!!”

Toshiya looked in disbelieve back at Hakuei. “Okay okay! I know I’m acting stupid and I knew you would be angry but why are you so mad at me?! You’re exaggerating!!”

Hakuei opened his mouth only to close it again to not give himself and Tatsuro away. “Well… what about your job?! You came here for what? For your old family secrets?!”

Toshiya looked Hakuei sternly in the eye. “Yes!! So what?! It is my life and I can do whatever I want with it!!”

“NO! It is not only YOUR life you are ruining in following me! You’re ruining my peace and… and…” Hakuei stopped again because he so wanted to say Tatsuro’s name but Toshiya didn’t know about their encounter… even about them knowing each other.

“And what Hakuei?! Anything else I should know but you’d rather keep to yourself?!!”

Hakuei narrowed his eyes and fumed. His muscles were tensed and Toshiya, instead of being scared, held his ground. But after a few moments of silence, Toshiya eventually gave up the glaring contest and looked down to the ground.

“Can’t you see? I don’t know how to approach you. You keep pushing me away--“

“And rightly so!” Hakuei interrupted but Toshiya lifted his hand.

“Let me speak!”

And the monk shut up annoyed.

“And at the same time, as masochistic as it may is, I’m looking for your company. Before my mind knows it my body reacts. I admit, at first it was curiosity and before I knew it you were on my mind…”

Hakuei, had his arms crossed in front of his chest again and looked unmoved at Toshiya. “What is this all about?” He asked annoyed.

“I like you.”

Hakuei lifted his eyebrows while the wind played with his long robe. A shiver went down his spine and in shock, he stared blankly back at Toshiya. He was speechless for the first time and Toshiya broke eye contact as well.

“You mean ‘like’… like what?” Hakuei asked when his voice became threatening. Toshiya touched his nape.

“Yeah…. Like what I guess….”

“Don’t get me wrong but I can’t stand any relationships or friendships at all—“

“Goddammit Hakuei!” Toshiya grabbed Hakuei’s shoulders and looked at him. The place where Toshiya touched became warm and Hakuei remained motionless. It would be an outright lie to deny that his touch had no effect on Hakuei whatsoever.

Toshiya looked him in the eyes and instead of getting an answer, he simply pulled on Hakuei’s robe and pulled it down to Hakuei’s waist. “What the-!!” Hakuei moved back in shock and wanted to pull up his robe but Toshiya stopped him and looked at the colorful pictures on Hakuei's skin. They were breathtaking..... That was when he pulled a notebook out of his pants' pocket and opened it. Hakuei couldn’t believe his eyes. It showed the doodle from Toshiya with an almost exact replica of his Tattoo at one arm.

“Have you been spying on me in the bath house?!”

“Are you out of your senses?!!” Toshiya blushed slightly before he became serious again. He let go of Hakuei’s arm. “Tell me Hakuei…. How do I know these things?”

Hakuei turned away.

“What are you keeping from me and why?”

Hakuei pulled up his robe again. “It’s only for our best.”

“For your best!” Toshiya pointed at him. “I don’t know why you are hiding it but something keeps haunting my dreams again and again! And besides….” Toshiya pointed with his finger at Hakuei’s breast. “I know you from somewhere. And as long as you’re not gonna tell me from when and where I will stick to you like chewing gum and there will be nothing you can do about it!”

Hakuei felt the anger boiling up inside of him and he did his best in not loosing it. “Then let me tell you something, Hara Toshimasa! While you are running after a monk to pester him with your personal search for your past, you are endangering all of the people around yourself! Yes I know what kind of family you are coming from as you must know what kind of business your family was involved with in the past. You should know that YOUR acting has been highly watched by the other families around town ever since that time and I can’t stand spoiled brats which act absolutely selfish with no thoughts about their environment or people, which include me too by the way!”

Toshiya was stunned by the revealing outburst but his answer followed nonetheless. “Well then Mr. Tanaka! All these hide and seek games would have been unnecessary if you would have been open to me from the very start!”

Hakuei wanted to retard when he heard Toshiya murmuring. “… the other families are watching me?”

Hakuei grabbed his forehead in desperation. “What are you thinking? You’re heir to the Hara household-“

“But my family is out of Yakuza business since my parents died 24 years ago.”

Hakuei looked with a stern gaze back at Toshiya who became insecure. “A-are we not?”

“There is no ‘out of business’ in this branch.”

“I don’t understand. I understand NOTHING! I know nothing!”

“Jesus Christ, you must be totally blind! You can’t see what’s going on around you?!”

“Seems so but---“ Toshiya stopped talking when one person suddenly came into his mind.

“Tatsuro.” He almost whispered in awe and hit the mark.

“He is dangerous. Capable of everything.”

Toshiya looked back in disbelieve. “You know him? Somehow I always knew about him but I realized it too late.”

Hakuei cleared his throat as he didn't want to dig any deeper but the next question came softer as expected. “Which family did you belong to?” Toshiya wanted to know.

Hakuei's face softened for the first time this evening when he looked back at Toshiya. “Isn’t it obvious?”

It was an urge from deep within when Toshiya stepped forward and simply took Hakuei into his arms.... which looked kind of funny since Hakuei was way taller than Toshiya and he was frozen to the spot from the intimate connection. He simply let it happen, unsure of what to do.

“I’m glad… I’m so glad.” Toshiya stammered.

“Why?” Hakuei wondered.

Toshiya shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. I’m just glad. Thank you.” Toshiya moved back. “Can't you see? You are my only family now.”

Hakuei shook his head. “I’m useless to you... I was-“ He stopped abruptly and Toshiya picked it up immediately. “What was? What do you know?”

“Nothing.” Hakuei turned around, ready to leave. Toshiya grabbed his arm from behind but the monk shoved him away. He remembered what Tatsuro had said to him: “ _I want you to leave and never come back.”_

“You can figure out the rest. I suggest you ask Tatsuro about the details as he knows everything himself.”

Toshiya froze when he heard Tatsuro’s name in that context. “Tatsuro! How come he knows about me?”

A long leveled look from Hakuei before he started walking again. “We should go to sleep.”

“Hakuei!!”

But Toshiya’s yell remained unanswered. Hakuei was halfway into the temple grounds as Toshiya followed silently. At least, they shared the same roof now.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The next morning at 4 am, the temple’s gong started ringing endlessly and Toshiya swore that he would personally kill that monk who hit the gong with such passion in the middle of the night. It was time for their first meditation and it took everything of Toshiya to survive the unusual day routine. At the same time he was glad that he was only a temporary stay at the temple.

Totally sleep drunken, Toshiya clad himself with the monk’s robe and stumbled outside his little Tatami room to the veranda where the other priests were meditating, each one of them on a single cushion. Toshiya imitated the monks on how to sit and meditate but couldn't help himself but to notice that a certain person was missing. Which was highly disturbing. So there it went, his inner peace. Luckily, the lots of thinking kept Toshiya from falling dead asleep on his cushion.

After the two hour meditation it was time for breakfast. Toshiya looked down into his poor looking bowl and the unrecognizable grits in it…. He had trouble to keep his face natural because that was miiiiiiiles away from his Starbucks coffee… if not centuries. Hungry as he was, he swallowed the grits and his tea very quickly. When Hakuei didn't show up for breakfast either, he slowly but surely started to get nervous. When breakfast had ended, Toshiya walked up to the senior monk and asked him about Hakuei’s disappearance.

“He hasn’t told you? I know it came quite sudden but Monk Hakuei went on a pilgrimage into the mountains, to a temple of silence. Many monks walk that path in a certain point in their files. He will stay there for six weeks. Only meditating and praying, living of the food he finds in the woods or from donations.”

Toshiya widened his eyes in disbelieve as he had never heard of something like that before. That was close to suicide! No, it WAS suicide! Hakuei was a big man and living only from wild berries and grass for goodness sake?! For six weeks and winter was coming?

“How dangerous is that kind of pilgrimage at the beginning of winter?”

“Well…”

Toshiya grabbed the senior's arm in sudden panic and shook him. “HOW DANGEROUS?”

“Well, some monks reported about hallucinations, numbness and weakness—“

“Then how could you let him go?!”

“Because only through hard experience, understanding if not enlightenment itself may appear.”

The monk looked with wise eyes back at Toshiya but the young man still hold on the senior’s arm in shock. He couldn't life with that thought of Hakuei being all alone in a cold temple. Especially after their quarrel which was left kind of unsettled on Toshiya's side.

The senior solved Toshiya’s grip gently and patted him on the shoulder. “I guarantee you he will be all right. He’s strong.” Toshiya knew that but it didn’t really comfort him. “Have trust in him.”

The young man nodded with his lips pressed hard shut. The senior monk nodded and left the room like the other monks before them. Drowsy and numb by the idea of not seeing Hakuei for SIX GODDAMN weeks, Toshiya walked back into his little room as well. Now with Hakuei gone, everything here seemed senseless. Why was he here again? Oh right, to talk sense into Hakuei and ask him about his past which.... didn't turn out well. The only thing he had found out was that Hakuei and Tatsuro must be acquainted somehow. But to which extent, he as always had no clue of.

Toshiya leaned against his wooden wall and slowly slumped down onto the floor. He sank his head into his hands and his eyes started to overflow.... he cried to himself silently. Questions like 'what was he doing here?' and 'didn't he deserve an answer about what happened' and 'how can people be so cold' were a threatening staccato in his brain. The self pity increased with the realization that he had no job and no family to return to, nothing.

His huge empty house bore an old name with an old Kendo tradition which he was too weak to continue. He had a lot of money though but nothing that would be of any worth and sustain. Everything he ever cherished just disappeared. His parents who died when he was four years old, his grandfather who’d died two months ago and now the only link he thought he had to the past ran away.

Toshiya wiped away the tears as his shoulder long hair covered his sad and devastated face. His gaze rested on his travel bag. He crawled over to it and rummaged in it. He got his cellphone out and out of curiosity, he switched it on…. And found one new voice mail.

“ _You have one new message. To hear the message please press—“_ *beep*

“ _One new message:_ _“Hello my Dear.”_

Toshiya’s eyes widened as the semi calm voice was somehow full of restrained anger.

“ _I was quite shocked after I have heard of your sudden departure. Don’t you think it would have been proper to speak to me first and not just run from me?”_

Toshiya’s hands started to shake and it went down cold his spine.

“ _Anyway… did you think you could just leave like that? We are partners Toshiya. Whether you like it or not. Our families have been partners for many years and there is nothing you can change about it. You can’t stop a trading route which was active since the last century. The Iwagami and the Hara house have always been trade partners and me, head of the Iwagami group, intends to keep that trade alive, you understand?”_ Tatsuro breathed a moment before he continued.

“ _What trouble you’re causing me these days. Instead of looking into the future and keep business going, you do get entrapped in senseless searching for the past, loosing yourself in it. Yes, I know about you looking for Hakuei. You may already know at this point that we are old acquaintances. But did you ever wonder why he’s hiding? Why he refuses to tell you anything? Because you must know that it is HIM you have to fear! He dropped out of Yakuza business because his hands are blood stained from the blood of your parents--”_

Toshiya dropped his cellphone as his shaking hands weren’t able to hold it any longer. His breath came in short and he had trouble to keep his senses clear. Blood started to drip out his nose like it always did in stressful situations. He even soiled his robe.

With a tissue, Toshiya stopped the bleeding and he refused to believe any word Tatsuro said. At least the part about his parents and Hakuei being involved in it.... how could he keep such a fact? And then, at the same time, it somehow made sense.

Toshiya picked up his mobile phone to listen to the message again, especially to the last part which he had missed. A stab went into his heart when he listened to the last sentence again. _“…because his hands are blood stained from the blood of your parents. I’m sorry. I would have rather told you in person but you kept ignoring me the past days and it pains me to see you acting like that since I always cared for you. What I’m telling you know is: You don’t have to work at my office if you don’t like this job but if you want to talk with me about your past, I’ll be there. I’ll tell you everything.”_

Tatsuro's voice was so gentle and yet, it nauseated Toshiya. Something in his gut told him to not believe a single word.

“ _And please Toshiya. I know you can judge for yourself but please keep away from Hakuei. He IS really dangerous. Please do not provoke him unnecessarily. I’m really concerned about you and you not being here kills me because I can’t protect you. You may be in great danger. Please consider my request in taking care of you.”_ A pause followed. _“Okay, I guess that’s it. I miss you. Please come back.”_

*beep* And the message was over. Toshiya listened to it again. Now for the third time and after he almost knew the message by heart, he lay the mobile phone aside and stared out the window at the morning sun. His breath was visible in the cold tatami room and his nose and eyes red from anger and tears.

Toshiya was totally confused. He didn’t know what to believe in or whom to trust now. But what he knew was that he couldn't run from his past any longer. It also concerned the legacy of his family. At some point, he certainly had to talk to Tatsuro again although the mere thought of it still made him sick. Right now, he couldn't trust any one. It was word against word and between the lines Toshiya read that the two men weren't necessarily fond of each other.

Out of courtesy, Toshiya stayed six more days at the temple. To think and calm his head, the place was ideal but at the same time he knew that he was too emotional, to lively to stay at a temple constantly. With Hakuei gone and a lot of semi-plans in his head, he decided to return home.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was cold deep in the mountains and Hakuei was sunken deep in his meditation. His mind more absent than present from the physical strains of the endless meditations and the less food. The nights had become colder and the days shorter, strange animal sounds made out of his short night sleep a challenge.

Hakuei’s breath was visible in the room but he didn’t move. There was no distraction at all. Only his body, his soul and the encircling nature. He had lost his feeling of time ages ago and in case of forgetting the time altogether, some monk would look after him after his meditating period officially came to an end.

A cold wind blew so strongly into this little shrine that it burst a bamboo window open and Hakuei jolted in his meditation. That was when Toshiya came into his mind.

Toshiya jolted in his sleep on the train from a strange dream he just had. In panic, he looked outside and around himself. Nothing unusual had occurred but Toshiya felt an inner panic rising inside himself. He had to get off the train, now. He didn’t know where that urge came from but he just had to get off the train. He collected his bag and trolley and waited patiently at the door to get off the next station to catch another train back to where he came from.

It was midday and the senior monk sat outside on the veranda when he drank his tea. He stopped slurping when he heard somebody walking through the forest behind the temple. When he turned around, a pale, out of breath Hakuei looked in panic back at him. The old monk put his tea down.

“Monk Hakuei! I haven’t expected you to be back so soon!”

Hakuei tried to catch his breath as he leaned against a wooden pole. “I---I know…” He looked drained from the mental training and the hike back to the main temple. All pale faced and outstanding cheekbones. “Is everything all right with brother Toshiya?”

The old monk said surprised. “He left this morning.”

Hakuei looked at the monk in shock. “But… why?!”

“By any chance… were you acquainted with Toshiya-san?”

Hakuei furrowed his eyebrows. “Kind of.”

“So…. How come you came back now?”

“Well… during meditation I’ve had this strange feeling when a window blew open all of a sudden….”

“I see.”

“Guess it can’t be helped.”

The old monk touched Hakuei’s shoulder. “Have a warm bath first. It will calm you down.”

Hakuei nodded. He was at his strength's end. Starved, cold, tired, mentally drained and confused. With a deep bow, he went outside and the senior monk took his tea cup into his hands again. That was when he heard noises of a trolley coming up the alley of the temple. He put his cup down again and found Toshiya’s face looking exhausted in the distance. Toshiya walked up straight to the senior monk and he bent down in front of him.

“I’m deeply sorry for all the confusion I’m causing.”

The senior smiled amused at himself. “What brought you back Toshiya-san?”

Toshiya looked left and right across the temple grounds. “I wondered… did something happen to Hakuei?”

The old monk stayed silent for a moment, his eyes kind of amused when he replied. “No, not really. What happened to you?”

“I was just on my way back when I suddenly felt the urge to return.”

“So… you knew him before you came here?”

“Yes, sort of.”

“I see. Guess it can’t be helped. You are welcome to stay here for the night. Perhaps you want to sort things out before you return into the city.” Toshiya found it rather strange but took the offer gratefully. He bent down and went back into the room where he used to stay.

He felt sticky from all the running and the traveling so he decided to go into the bath house to clean his face and hands. Toshiya put on his Yukata and walked over to the bathing house. He opened the wooden door and a warm gush of steam filled the air. In front of the washing sink, he pulled down the Yukata to his waist and started to wash his arms and face when he bumped into the person next to him who just washed his head under the water tap.

“I’m sor-“ Toshiya apologized but stopped when he found the person glaring back at him... and he couldn't believe his eyes. Questioned his senses but it was really Hakuei who moved up as water dripped down his chin, rolling over his tattooed body but stopped at the towel wrapped around his hips… Toshiya couldn’t help but stare shamelessly.

Hakuei looked as if he saw a ghost. “I can't believe it... is it really you? You are back?”

The younger man turned his face down and touched his hair helplessly. “Yeah, I guess I am…” Hakuei woke from his state and grabbed for his second towel and dried his head and chest off.

“You came back as well?” Toshiya asked and did the same.

“Yeah. Had a strange occurrence during meditation and honestly….”

Toshiya kept on staring and for the first time he saw the long scar covering Hakuei’s left arm. “… I was afraid you’re in danger.”

Toshiya didn’t understand. “What? Why?”

“Don’t know… call it a vision if you want to. Then I decided to look for you.”

It sounded all too surreal. Many days ago, Hakuei didn't even want to talk to him properly and now he was concerned about when he noticed the strangest thing. “Your hair is growing.”

Hakuei touched his head and smiled. “Had nothing to shave in the mountains.”

“I like it.”

This little remark wasn't supposed to make his heart flutter. Instead, his stare at Toshiya lingered and for the first time he felt like truly seeing him. The little boy he was, the man he had become, his long black hair touching the creamy white shoulders, his dark insecure eyes which bore strangely some kind of old wisdom, young eyes which have seen too much already.

Hakuei's gaze traveled over the slim torso and that was when he saw the long scar on Toshiya's body which reached from Toshiya’s right shoulder to the middle of the chest. Hakuei looked away as if he was disgusted by it.

Toshiya covered his chest, feeling ashamed. “I’m sorry.”

Hakuei looked back at him but there was some kind of hurt in his eyes which seemed odd. “What are you apologizing for?”

“I know it looks disgusting, I shouldn’t have shown it so openly.”

Hakuei turned towards Toshiya and came closer. The following movement was so quick that Toshiya couldn’ t even realize it… Hakuei pulled him into his arms and hold him tight to himself, skin to skin. With his chin, Hakuei rested on Toshiya's head while one hand was around his shoulder, the other in his hair. In reflex, Toshiya closed his eyes and they breathed in unison. It strangely felt like a long missed closer from something, from a search.

“There is nothing you have ever to apologize for.” Hakuei whispered and Toshiya believed him, wanted to.

Hakuei slowly solved the embrace and took Toshiya around his wrist. He pulled him into the dressing room next door and there he stopped in front of a floor length mirror. There they looked at each other and their bare torso, that was when Hakuei positioned Toshiya in front of the mirror and he stepped behind him. Toshiya had no idea what this was all about but he was very aware of the fact that he felt Hakuei's pecks pressing against him from behind. Hakuei lowered his head over Toshiya's right shoulder. That was when he moved his strong left arm under Toshiya's left arm and rested it on Toshiya’s chest from behind. Hakuei’s large right hand rested on Toshiya’s right shoulder…. And suddenly the whole picture started to make sense.

“Oh my god….” Toshiya whispered.

“It is me who is deeply sorry for what happened. It is all my fault and I feel deeply ashamed of it.” Hakuei said.

Despite of looking good with Hakuei standing so tight behind him and reaching with his strong arm over Toshiya’s torso… the long scar from Toshiya’s chest continued all the way up Hakuei’s arm and formed an united scar. Toshiya’s mouth stood wide open in shock as he reached up with his hands and traveled with his index finger along the scar, all the way up to Hakuei’s arm. It was one long stream reaching over the two of them in perfect unison. This long scar came from one strong sword blow.

“I should have told you sooner but I was ashamed.”

Toshiya rested his hand on Hakuei’s arm. He lifted up his other hand held onto Hakuei as well. He needed to steady himself.

“When I was a child, the doctors told me the scar came from an operation when I was very young.”

“I wish that would be true.” Hakuei said with a deep tone close at Toshiya’s ear.

“What happened?”

“You don’t remember any of this?”

Toshiya shook his head and Hakuei furrowed his forehead. When he motioned to move away from Toshiya, the young man held onto him desperately. “Please don’t go away. Just tell me here, like that.”

Hakuei swallowed and looked up into the air before he started. “You know…you have always been like that. Persistent and stubborn.”

“When? What time are we talking about?”

“Do you remember anything from your childhood?“

“I remember the time from starting school. When I was around six years old…”

“Christ.”

“They say traumatic occurrences erase painful memories.”

Hakuei nodded as if he understood. “You know… seeing you, speaking with you was hard for me as well. It made me remember what happened back then and now seeing this,” Hakuei looked at their reflection in the mirror, “shows me that there is no running from it. And I know that I have to forgive myself first before I am able to help others, you.”

Toshiya looked confused into Hakuei’s eyes in the mirror. “Maybe I can forgive you-“ Toshiya saw something unreadable in Hakuei’s eyes… something vulnerable, hurt but maybe also a flicker of hope…

“How did we meet?” Toshiya changed topic as he still hold onto Hakuei’s arm in some kind of desperation. He looked down at his feet and simply listened to Hakuei’s voice.

“I was 18 years old when I first came into the Hara Yakuza house. I was pretty bad ass back then and with no perspective whatsoever so I joined an old friend at the Hara house. Your father gave me something I’ve never had before: Trust and a family. I loved looking and caring for your family and me and my brothers stuck together like own blood. Your parents were strict, traditional but also full of love and honor. I would have given my life for every single one of them.”

Toshiya fought back tears. Hearing about his family was so painful since he couldn't remember anything. His tears rolled down his eyes and dripped down on Hakuei’s arm. Without a word Hakuei lay his other free hand onto Toshiya’s head and continued telling the story.

“The first time I came into the Hara house… I can see it as if it was yesterday… your mother was sitting behind your father and your father said his words of welcome and introduced me to his close men. You were sleeping in your mother’s arms and you were four years old. After your father congratulated me about joining that’s when you have opened your eyes, jumped down your mothers arms and you ran over to me and literally bumped into me, almost tumbled me over. Your mother was very embarrassed so she rushed over to me as well. She wanted to get you away from me but you kept on repeating the same words: ‘I got you! I found you! I found you! I will keep you forever!’” Hakuei laughed about this past memory. “Of course no one was mad at you. The men in the room laughed about it and since you didn’t let me go, even cried when the others tried to, your mother gave up and from that day on you kept on following me like a shadow through the house. So they had put me in charge of looking after you… I was your personal bodyguard from that day on since I was good in martial arts as well.” It was a lovely memory and the both smiled.

“It’s a beautiful memory.” Something deep inside of Toshiya was moved by the very words of it.

“Yeah, stubborn from day one. We’ve had countless conversations about what you were supposed to do and what not.”

Toshiya made a breath of laugh.

“One’s for certain… you have healed my rotten soul these days.”

His words stroke him deep and Toshiya felt the urge to kiss him to say thank you but he was too moved to do anything. Instead, he snuggled closer into Hakuei. “Thank you.” He whispered.

Hakuei breathed in. “These are the nice memories.” And Toshiya bit his lip. Hakuei pulled his other hand from Toshiya’s chest and rested against Toshiya’s shoulders.

“The Iwagami house and the Hara house had been in war these days. Something between your father and the Iwagami father wasn’t all right. I was still too young and fresh so they haven't told me about the details. Today I know it must have been something about the Iwagami’s methods to get their money. I recall your father using the words ‘dirty’, ‘disrespectful’ and ‘greedy’. They were fearless and didn’t shy away from shady methods…”

“That’s why you know Tatsuro.”

Hakuei narrowed his eyes. “He was a shameless bastard. We HATED each other and still do.”

“How come? What happened?”

His next words dropped like a bomb. “I was there the moment your parents died.”

Toshiya froze from hearing it. Suddenly he remembered the message on his mobile phone. About Tatsuro telling him that Hakuei has blood on his hands and had killed his parents.... His focus came back when he felt Hakuei lifting up the semi undressed Yukata to his shoulders. “You're getting cold.” Hakuei walked off into the changing room and got dressed in his Yukata too. Toshiya followed and finally addressed Hakuei with what was on his heart.

“Ne Hakuei…. There’s something I want to show you. Tatsuro called me a few days ago and left a quite disturbing message.” Hakuei looked sternly back at Toshiya. He knew that anything coming from Tatsuro meant no good. He walked up to Toshiya again and without hesitation, he took both of his cold hands. “This man is VERY dangerous.... I wasn’t aware of the fact how.... well, how close you were.” Hie tried to say it as natural as possible but it was hard. Toshiya kept his mouth shut.

“It was stupid of me to run. I realize it now.”

“Please Hakuei, you had your reasons.” After a pause. “Let me show you his message.”

Hakuei let go off Toshiya’s hands as he went over to get his mobile phone. After the first few words were spoken, Hakuei stiffened..... he would never get used to his cold voice. Hakuei opened his mouth in disbelieve after listening further and balled his fists. Then he screamed out loud in disbelieve when the accusing part came. He shot up from his sitting position and collected himself. This is what Tatsuro does, this is what he has always done. Turning people against people.

His breathing was heavy and he tried to find the right words. “Don't believe a single word he's telling you. By the honour of your parents-” Hakuei paused and hold one hand in front of his mouth thinking. “And to imagine that you.... and him....” He turned his gaze away as Toshiya looked ashamed to the ground. “But it is partially my fault. I should have never left you, should have protected you all my life, I...” He paused again.

“Did you…” Hakuei turned around and pointed with Toshiya’s cellphone at him. “Did you by any chance believe all this?!”

“I… well… he sounded so… understanding.”

Hakuei hissed. He gave Toshiya back his mobile. “Of course..... I should have talked to you sooner. This is all my fault.”

“This is no one's fault. I’ve had my reasons to believe him since there was no one there to tell me the truth.”

Hakuei wanted to say something but Tatsuro’s words still went through his head. “And on top of that: OF COURSE he wants to keep the trade alive! He wants your money, your former land.”

“Money? Iwagami was rich to begin with.”

“Well apparently not enough.” Hakuei paused while he said with his eyes closed. “I didn’t know you were working for him all the time… Jesus Christ… what became of to the Hara house….”

Silence followed and it hurt Toshiya more than he wanted to admit. He changed topic. “You wanted to tell me about my parents…. What happened.”

Hakuei nodded. “That’s what I kept running from all these years….” He said very silently, looking down to the ground. “But after hearing Tatsuro's manipulating words… I can’t have him his way. Not after all that happened.”

Toshiya gestured for Hakuei to sit down but the older man insisted to keep on standing.

“Your father and his personal guards and men went out one evening. Your mother was very silent and tensed this day… everybody knew that your father was going to confront the Iwagami father about his business matters which was an absolute don’t in their circles. But your father couldn’t ignore the fact that Iwagami was more and more washing their money with drug and prostitution.…. Anyway. Your mother was so nervous that she insisted to accompany your father that day. He was strictly against it but in the end she won and went with them. You stayed home with me and some other men. You were all clingy, hardly leaving me alone for a single moment, hanging to my throat all the time… Even I found your behavior strange that day. And every time you wanted something from me and I refused, you looked with that big dark pleading eyes at me. You knew exactly how to get what you wanted.…”

Toshiya smiled and Hakuei continued telling his story.

 

 

_**Flashback - 24 years ago** _

 

“It was evening and you couldn’t sleep. The house was very quiet and we were sitting on the veranda, feeling the warm summer breeze on our skin. I was even more tired than you but the remaining men in the house and me waited for our master and your mother to return. Usually you were talking and smiling all the time but you’ve been observing the stars as the wind chimes rang…”

Hakuei paused, seeing the scene in front of his eyes as if it was yesterday, hearing all the voices and seeing all the faces. He told it Toshiya the same time he relived it.

"Hakuei... is Toshiya-dono still awake?" A good friend came along the veranda and asked.

“ _Hitsugi-nii-saaaan!” Toshiya shouted out of joy and pointed out at the stars. “Look! They are so bright today!”_

Then the silence of the night was suddenly filled with screams of their men, coming from inside the house and dull noises of them falling down to the ground. They heard fast footsteps on the tatamis inside and the veranda outside. Hakuei and Hitsugi reacted in no time. Hakuei picked up Toshiya and Hitsugi ran alongside him to the back entrance of the house. What they didn't known at the time was that their master had just returned with his wife. Most of their men ran back into the house after they’d heard the shouting, finding black clothed men assassinating their own men and friends.

“ _You protect our Master Hitsugi!”_ Hakuei hissed at his friend in front of the back entrance.

“ _I will not leave the young Master and you alone!”_

“ _GO!”_ Hakuei shouted and Toshiya started to cry, feeling the unknown tension in the air.

Hitsugi ran and Hakuei skipped the idea of the back entrance and ran all the way around the house to his private room where his katana lay. He opened the veranda door and entered his room. He got the katana and battled with the idea of hiding Toshiya inside the closet but found it too dangerous. The moment he’d thought about it, the door to his room opened and a black disguised man entered with a loud scream. Toshiya moved to the back corner of the room while Hakuei drew his sword, crouched down and sent the intruder down with a powerful stab into his stomach. The disguised man fell over and Toshiya looked at the dead body in shock. Hakuei picked him up and ran over to the corridor, looking left and right. He decided to hide Toshiya in the kitchen and ran along the corridor, hearing the noises coming from inside the large living room at the end of the corridor.

One of their men came crushing through the wooden paper door. At the end of the corridor and in the living room itself, everywhere was blood, dead men dressed in black and their own men in between them. It pained Hakuei to see so many of his friends lying there, obviously dragged out of bed in the middle of the night they were unarmed and killed in cold blood. Coming from the other end of the huge living room, Hakuei saw his master and his bodyguards dashing into the room, both with firearms and swords. Some still fought with the black disguised men when a whistle went through the night and the black men fell back into the garden. Hakuei, still with Toshiya under his arm observed everything, seeing his friends and master puzzled about what was going on.

A man with long dark hair entered the scene, carrying a katana himself and behind him some black men brought in Toshiya’s mother with her hands tied behind her back.

“ _TATSURO-DONO! Do you have any idea what you’re doing?!”_ Toshiya’s father shouted across the room. Tatsuro must have been something around 25 years these days and the successor of his old man who people believed to die very soon.

Tatsuro narrowed his eyes. “ _Oh I do. I do… do you have any idea what you did tonight, with your demands about us making business? NO ONE gives us orders. Not even the devil himself.”_

Tatsuro moved his head and gestured his men to bring Toshiya’s mother forward. They tossed her in front of Tatsuro and young Tatsuro smirked at Toshiya’s father.

“ _Okasan_ _! NO!”_ It was Toshiya who started to cry and now all eyes lay on them. They’d been discovered and Tatsuro smiled. “ _The family reunited.”_

It was the gaze of Toshiya’s mom which Hakuei never forgot. Only with her lips she formed the words. ‘ _P-r-o-t-e-c-t T-o-s-h-i-y-a.’_

Hakuei wanted to run but with a swift hand Tatsuro drew his katana and hold it against her throat. “ _Why don’t you join us?”_ Hakuei narrowed his eyes and he slowly stepped into the living room, the eyes of his master and the last remaining men resting on him. Now together with Toshiya they were the main attraction.

“ _Well Hara-san… you can count yourself lucky because despite of your visit tonight I still intend to make business with the Hara family…”_ Hakuei could still feel how sick he felt when Tatsuro turned his gaze at Toshiya. “ _For good future relations.”_

“ _Not if I can prevent it.”_ Hakuei hissed. Both their deadly gazes met when Toshiya’s father rushed forward and knelt down in front of Tatsuro, in front of his woman to safe her _. “Please, spare my family and take whatever you want.”_

“ _Thank you. I will.”_ Tatsuro answered sarcastically.

That moment, Hitsugi came storming in from behind with his sword but Tatsuro turned around after one of his men warned him. He dodged young Hitsugi with ease and shoved him through the wooden paper wall into the garden. The same moment Toshiya’s father took his chance and he wanted to stab a knife into Tatsuro’s back but the much younger, trained gangster was faster and he sent him down with a long stroke of his sword. His wife started to scream in shock, blood all over Tatsuro’s face and all over the Tatami mats. She took the knife in the heat of the moment and stormed towards Tatsuro. The young man made a move with his sword and she ran fully into the blade. She choked, Tatsuro looked her in the eye and finally tossed her down to the ground over her beloved husband.

Toshiya was crying out loud in shock. It was a piercing scream no one ever forgot. All that was on Hakuei’s mind now was to protect Toshiya. Tatsuro stormed towards them and Hakuei had difficulties to fight him off with just one hand while the other was still around Toshiya. Tatsuro raised his arm for another stroke with his sword and that was when Hakuei stumbled backwards. He stumbled and took a turn to the right side. Tatsuro’s stroke went down from Hakuei’s arm all over to his wrist over Toshiya’s chest and shoulder.

That brought Hitsugi back with the last remaining group of the Hara men and they disarmed Tatsuro within a moment and beat him unconscious from behind. The evil young man fell over right next to Hakuei but Hakuei was too busy holding Toshiya’s wounds pressed together. The little boy had meanwhile fainted from shock and Hakuei had tears of hate and fear in his eyes. He lay on his back with Toshiya on his chest and Hitsugi rushed over to them. Hitsugi pressed their heavy bleeding wounds shut.

  
  
Hakuei stopped telling the old story. He looked down onto his folded hands, Toshiya sat right next to him on a wooden bench still inside the changing room. The room felt suddenly very small and dark. His eyes were moistened and his neck all dry. Toshiya next to him was speechless. There was nothing to say. He took Hakuei's hand and simply hold it.

“After the incident the Yakuza business was shut down completely by your grandparents the following weeks. The few remaining good men scattered into all directions. Many of them left the city... but somehow I couldn’t.” Hakuei turned to look at Toshiya and although he didn't say it, Toshiya made wild speculations whether he was maybe the reason to stay in the city. “Your grandfather took you in and taught you the old Kendo style. You changed from a happy to a silent child who only spoke when forced. It broke my heart and the rest of my remaining pride.”

Toshiya nodded. Now he finally understood. After all these years, he finally understood. All these jigsaw pieces finally came together. Pieces of strange dreams, his anxiety attacks..... Finally it all made sadly sense. Toshiya had difficulties to speak as well. “Thank you, for telling me.” He hold onto Hakuei's hands in desperation. “But… what happened afterwards?”

“The other Yakuza family’s had their hands tied. Everybody knew what had happened that night but no one dared to move against Tatsuro because they were all too deeply involved into their dirty businesses as well. I never avenged your family because it was too dangerous because of you. And believe me I would have LOVED to go rampage on my own personal vendetta but my senses told me better. Any harm to Tatsuro meant harm to you. You meant nothing to him, he could have killed you any time. So I lay low. It was hard, it broke me. But I managed it somehow. And besides: No one has the right to move against Tatsuro… except of the Hara family. You.”

It was shocking how close Toshiya had been to his family’s enemy, even took him into bed. His parents' murderer... he felt so dirty and ashamed..... and all along Tatsuro was playing him as he pleased. He must have loved the knowledge--- Toshiya shuddered and that was when Hakuei pulled him into his arms and hold him tight. Toshiya began to sob against his chest. “How could I Hakuei? I'm feeling sick.”

With his low deep voice Hakuei almost whispered at him. “It is not your fault. Just like us, you have been played with. Don't linger on that guilt. And I understand if you never want to see me again…”

Toshiya moved back with his tear streamed face and looked at Hakuei. “What are you talking about?!” Hakuei moved away from the embrace and stood up but only to kneel in front of Toshiya. The young man was startled.

“I deeply apologize that I was not able to save your precious parents and for not saving you from all this grief. I don’t expect any forgiveness nor mercy from the Hara family. I will gladly accept any judgment you may bestow on me. My future lies in the hand of the heir of the Hara family.”

Seeing Hakuei like that was not only shocking, it was also a huge step for him out of his self punishment back to the road where he once used to walk on. Toshiya moved down to the ground and picked up Hakuei on his shoulders to look at him.

“I don’t want you to look like that Hakuei. That’s not the proud monk I’ve met. I understand now how things were and I’m grateful you told me at last.” He paused. “Thank you for your tears…” Toshiya continued but he was close to cry again, his voice was thin. “But I guess we have to move on. Hakuei, please move on…. for me, for the Hara house. I’m sure my parents would have never wanted to see you hurt like that.”

Hakuei looked down and Toshiya lifted his hand and touched his cheek.“Hakuei. I forgive you for not being able to save my parents. It wasn’t your fault.”

Hakuei still looked down to the ground. His shoulders started to shake and for the first time after all these years, he sobbed and the tears streamed down his face silently. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. And although it could never be undone, it was a start to come to terms with himself and with Toshiya.

The young man leaned over Hakuei’s body and cradled him. No words followed, just the two grown men holding onto each other tight as if their life were depending on it.

 


	38. Chapter 38

Songs to this chapter:  
**15 - Staining you** (Sakito and Ni~ya theme)

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr1YLEcPg7A>

 

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

  


Part 38

The Last Chapter

3 of 5

  


**Hakuei and Toshiya**

  


**~ Afterlife ~**

 

 

Ni~ya was on his way through the city.

A full century had passed since he’d left heaven and joined hell. He remembered the incident on earth which triggered the radical change in his immortal life.... how he’d lost his angelic wings, how the Demon Miyavi had literally pulled them out... it was agony back then and the horrible memory of the feeling back then rushed through his immortal body.

It was also during these days that he was training to become Sakito's Guardian Angel... but he also failed at that. Without wings and special powers how could he possibly be a Guardian Angel? Ni~ya never saw how it could have possibly worked out.

In his mind, he was always troubled. From past events and people/Angels in his life, Christ, he was so obsessed with Hakuei these days and although he was too young to realize it back then, today he knew that it was a helpless admiration for someone who had so much to offer and he had nothing. That's what it was, an obsession, not Love. Never mistake obsession with Love. Eventually, time passed and his feelings changed too. Today he was rather unaffected by most of things. Made life easier in most ways. It also made his life in hell a lot easier, his work relationship with Uruha and the others for example.

Nevertheless, after all beings had lost all hope, Sugizo had finally found Hakuei's soul reborn. It was only a question of time then until Toshiya was reborn as well.

And now, almost a full century later…. He lived somehow, overcame most of the spectacles and his mission on earth was the following: To find souls with high negative energy for hell and for his personal interest: To be entertained. He was bored back in hell and with so many souls reborn in this time and place, he didn't want to miss the show. Sakito was an exception and not planned but interesting too.

On his way to search for the fallen souls, he felt it before he saw it... a bright light in the distance. Too subtle for humans to notice but he did. Well, he was an exception since he used to be an Angel once.... and he recognized the energy although a lot of time had passed since then. He would always recognized it.

That's how he first met Sakito again after this century. And God knew the boy had developed a lot. Sakito's creative and loving light was so bright, Ni~ya wondered whether he was always that pure or he just too inexperienced back then... More the latter. So he sat down next to him, listened to his human bullshit which was triggered in Sakito's life by that dawdler Aoi. Ni~ya rolled his eyes by the mere thought of it. Not that he cared but he wondered what had happened to that Ryutaro-kid, he used to be so close to Aoi back then... anyway.

Ni~ya stopped moving through the crowded street of this town when a gush of energy went through the atmosphere... and this was not a good one. He stopped in his tracks and looked around.

That was when Sakito’s face appeared in his mind. And this had never happened before.

Ni~ya entered an empty side street and leaned against it. While he held his head, he became temporarily visible. Could it be? It was impossible! Their bond was severed over a century ago! Or maybe it was because he met him the other day, nevertheless... Ni~ya felt like being pulled into a certain direction. He became invisible again and followed the urge. Unfolding his demonic wings, the wind carried him into an unknown direction. A calm, little suburb inside town, in between this modern houses with single apartment, he landed on a certain roof top. He concentrated where the energy was coming from and dematerialize where the energy was calling from. When Ni~ya opened his eyes, the place was full of Sakito's energy. This was his home. Modern, clean and neat. Ni~ya just turned around a corner to stand in the living room where the moon was shining through a large glass wall of a beautiful little veranda... that was when he stopped in his tracks.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Ni~ya whispered to himself as he looked at the numerous angelic paintings on the wall. Angels with dark hair, melancholic ones and some even wrinkling in pain. They all had one thing in common: They all had no face, it was always covered with something.

Ni~ya stumbled back in shock, a Dejavu from another life time. Sakito used to paint a century ago and it was the same topic... inspired by... impossible. It couldn't be. What was going on with Sakito? And who was his Guardian Angel now? What kind of energy or inspiration was that?

Here, in the middle of Sakito's apartment he felt, that Sakito was not at home and Ni~ya slightly wondered where the young man was..... well NOT THAT HE CARED but something felt off. The whole atmosphere felt like something big was going to change. And since he knew most of the participants, he had an inkling that he was somehow in it too now.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was almost evening when Hakuei and Toshiya returned to the main temple from the bath house where they were lost in conversation. After both of them were getting cold, they decided to return to the main temple where both were offered their old rooms for a temporary stay.

It was bedtime when Toshiya heard a soft knock on his wooden sliding door outside the veranda. His heart skipped a beat and when the moonlight illuminated the person who stepped in silently, his heart couldn't stop pacing so fast. On the outside, Toshiya kept his cool and he wondered whether his view on Hakuei had changed... well at least not to the negative. Knowing the whole story now he was even more in awe of Hakuei than before. His memories only came back in bits and pieces though. For this, he still needed more time.

Hakuei settled down on the tatami mat as he looked with his trademark stern gaze back at Toshiya whom realized that he couldn't hold Hakuei's gaze. Toshiya hold onto his hands nervously while he sat in front of Hakuei.

“So are you staying?” Hakuei almost whispered to not disturb the night rest.

"Yes, I’m allowed to stay the night, maybe even longer but I don't know how to act now, after, well....”

Hakuei nodded. “I understand. Take your time then.”

Toshiya opened his mouth and just blurted out. “Honestly… I don’t know anything. I can't go back to how my life was before, I.... ” He paused. “I wanted to apologize to you. I’m sorry Hakuei…. I’m sorry for all the trouble that I’ve ever caused you in my whole life.”

Hakuei shook his head. “Please don't. Your family showed me what family really meant. If someone has to apologize, then it is me for not being honest with you, the heir of the Hara house.”

His own name and all that came with it felt like a burden to Toshiya now. He was not only heir to the Hara Kendo but to a whole Yakuza family which seemed somehow scattered and dissolved.

“Thank you,” Toshiya started again, “for telling me the truth. A lot is slowly making sense now. But what about you? What are you doing now Hakuei?” In his eyes there were so many unspoken words and Hakuei could read them all. They were calling out to him to follow him, come with him but-

“This is my place. Here in this temple I can think and make my peace. Now that you know the beginning of the story, try to make your peace Toshiya.”

The young man bit his lip. He somehow expected such an answer. Hakuei would never throw his lifestyle and believes out of the window to... yeah, for what? To follow him and then do what?

_Be with me_

“You are right.” Toshiya answered. “We both need to heal in our own ways.”

Hakuei nodded and saw a certainty in Toshiya's eyes which he hasn't seen before.

“I'm glad we had the chance to talk.” Toshiya added and Hakuei nodded to agree.

“I will leave you to your thoughts then.”

“Hakuei, wait-“ Toshiya hold him at the robe of his arm. The monk turned around. “Yes?” Toshiya let go and stood up as well.

“If you ever want to return to a home or if you’re ever in need of help or anything, the Hara house will always welcome you. For all that you have done for the family. My family. Hakuei, you are always part of my family.”

No declaration of Love could have been any better. These words meant so much to him and although he denied it himself, he felt all the overflowing love for what he had once felt come to the surface again. It was a quick reflex, when Hakuei wordlessly reached for Toshiya and took him in his arms. The swift move pressed Toshiya's air out of his lungs and the young man was startled by the sudden intimate contact.... it was brief though and he was stiff as a plank.

“Thank you this means the world to me.” And Hakuei left as quickly as he had appeared. Toshiya though, remained standing on the same spot for a few more minutes, collecting his mind.

On his way back to his room, Hakuei reached inside his sleeve and recovered something Toshiya gave him earlier in the bath house.

“ _Please take this.”_ He recalled Toshiya’s words from before and saw the younger man giving him a dark blue omamori lucky charm. It looked old.

“ _I’m not supposed to posses anything Toshiya.”_

“ _It’s a gift!”_

Hakuei remained silent and tried not to look amused. “ _Okay then.”_ Toshiya handled him the charm and Hakuei looked at it. Then he put it into his sleeve and Toshiya smiled happily…. And Hakuei loved to see him like that… happy. Some things just never changed.

Hakuei leaned against the wooden frame of his room, the lucky charm dangling on his index finger.

The vision became a stare as he slowly glided down the wall until he met the floor. He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead into one hand. Tomorrow he would leave for the mountain temple again and he better left early.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It was instinct when Ni~ya flew through the night over numerous skyscrapers in the business district of town. The negative energy became stronger and stronger until he finally landed on a modern concrete and glass building. He was never here before but something felt alarmingly familiar. He knew that kind of energy.

Concentrating, he warped himself inside the building and stood still in a large corridor. The rooms were dark and all people had left already for the night.... but he wasn't looking for people here. Still in his invisible state, Ni~ya passed the modern high tech offices with its glass walls, the expensive wooden floor and high tech devices. For a moment, he stopped when he felt Toshiya's energy. He would recognize him anywhere after their involuntarily decades together.

Call it curiosity but he entered Toshiya's former office and looked around... he felt another heavily familiar energy and realized that Sakito must have been here as well. So they were working buddies, must be it. Ni~ya became visible and out of curiosity, he opened the drawers. The first two were boring but inside the third drawer, Ni~ya suddenly stopped. With shaking hands, he grabbed for the stack of photos inside. It couldn't be.... it was impossible. Although he heard a rumor, Ni couldn't believe it but in his hands he hold the proof that Hakuei was really back. It was him! And his face hadn't changed a bit since then. Only his eyes seemed older, wiser somehow.

His main mission came into mind... _finding Sakito._.... although it was no official mission but he made it his. There was a link, a plan between all these souls here but he couldn't figure it out yet. Ni~ya looked through the stash of pictures again and searched for an answer, what it was that made him crazy for this soul many decades ago but now.... looking at Hakuei's picture's, he was fine with it. They had history together but all of them had moved on. That's what time does to you.

It was good that Toshiya always believed in Hakuei living. He never gave up on him but now, reincarnated in human bodies, none of them knew of their tragic past. They would only learn about it after they return to heaven at the end of their mortal life span.

A wave of energy went through the building and Ni~ya dropped the pictures. He went outside the office to the corridor and stopped.

“Although I can’t see you I know you are there.”

The stranger said and Ni~ya became visible. The creature turned around and Ni~ya pulled up his chin in reflex.

“Your foul demonic energy reeks through the whole floor.”

“Hello Ruka,” Ni~ya greeted, “and I might add, likewise. What happened to you?”

It was a false grin on Ruka's lips, the one Ni had always despised. His former Guardian Angel was here on earth too and he seemed to have changed sides as well. But how and when that happened, Ni~ya was unaware of.

Ruka beamed amused at Ni~ya who stood on the opposite side of the corridor. While Ni~ya was dressed in black leather, Ruka wore casual office clothing…. Just to keep to the protocol on earth and to move freely with them but why?

“Never knew you changed sides as well.” Ni~ya said but realized that it made perfectly sense. Ruka was never a good Guardian Angel, always wondered how he became one in the first place.

“Well I don’t brag about it.”

Hell was large place and if someone wanted to go into hiding, it was quite possible. Ruka continued while he looked with a disgusting amused face at Ni~ya. “What brings you here? I guess it’s not for reunion’s sake and besides, this is my territory.”

Ni~ya lifted his eyebrows, his face making an ‘as if’ expression. “Could ask you the same.” Ruka looked down on Ni~ya and walked a few steps closer to him. Ni~ya swore to himself not to back down or walk back. He would stay strong here on this spot.

“I’m here on behalf of my protégé.”

“FORMER protégé you mean.” Ruka knew immediately whom Ni~ya meant.

“Where is he and pray to God that nothing had happened to him.”

“Ohohohohooooo now you are threatening me?”

“Anytime.”

“Interesting. Now after a century you finally show interest.”

“Where is he?”

Ruka narrowed his eyes. “Not here and if you know what’s good for you: Stay out of human business.”

Ni~ya smirked. “Yeah sure. Seeing you here makes it only more ‘human’.”

“None of your business too.”

“Who commands you?” Ni~ya asked but Ruka seemed to be bored so he turned around ready to leave. “You know it’s impolite to conceal your Master’s name.” It was a hell-thing.

Ruka turned around again and Ni~ya thought to see annoyance in his eyes. “Lucifer. You?”

“Uruha.”

“Still Kirito’s handyman.”

“The only friends I’ve ever had… if you know what I mean.”

Ruka made a bored face and changed topic. “Anyway. You stay out of this or I will sent Demons after you to drag your sorry ass back to hell.”

Ni~ya HATED to be still treated like a child so he stepped forward and hissed very low. “You are in no position to tell me what to do and seeing you as a low life Demon conspiring with a strange human over a source of energy… It kind of is my duty to interfere.”

And with that Ni~ya passed Ruka in the corridor but before he became invisible again, he stretched out his right arm and with a gust of energy, the complete window wall burst into a thousand pieces and before the shards were even able to touch the ground Ni~ya had disappeared.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya awoke early the next morning as he couldn't really sleep during the night. His past, the story Hakuei had told him set too many puzzle pieces together and he was ready to make plans. Full of drive to change something, Toshiya got up and stopped in his tracks when he saw a voicemail blinking on his mobile phone. It was with dread when he opened and listened to it.

“Hello Dear. I’m sorry I can’t talk to you in person but wait? Whose fault is it?”

Tatsuro.

“You know…. You could have simply come back to me. We would have talked things through but no. You’re on your ego trip but I also respect that. As long as you respect my conditions.”

Toshiya’s hands trembled.

“Right now I have a guest here. Well he already stayed over the night and it depends on how you will react until he is free again.”

Toshiya heard the mobile phone shifting and his eyes widened when he heard the familiar voice, his mind went blank.

“Come on, say something.” Tatsuro muttered. “Like hell I will!” It was Sakito’s voice. Toshiya shook his head in disbelieve with his eyes closed. He was so stupid. So so so stupid and selfish. He should have thought about Sakito. He so should have foreseen it. In all this trouble, he forgot to check on his dear friend.

“You surely know it’s Sakito. My conditions are: You’re coming back this Thursday to negotiate with me on business and personal matters and if I’m pleased about the outcome I will set Sakito free.”

Toshiya kind of expected something like that.

“If you’re not showing up until Thursday, Sakito-boy will lose one finger each day of your no-show and they will be send home to his parents daily. Do we have an accord?”

Toshiya hold his hand in front of his mouth. He was close to getting sick.

“So hopefully see you soon. You’ve got ten days… oh no wait. Twenty.” And the line was dead.

Toshiya sunk to his knees. He was sickened and too shocked to even cry. With shaking hands he looked at the date of the message which came in yesterday…. Toshiya took out his calendar to check the day since he kept loosing track of the weekdays…. He stared in shock. He had to be in till today. Thursday! Dear Lord!

Like a madman, Toshiya stuffed his few belongings into his travel bag, stripped down the monks robe and jumped into his trousers and shirt. He hold his jacket and mobile phone under one arm while he grabbed for his bag and ran outside onto the wooden corridor to give immediate notice of his departure. While he was running down the courtyard, he dialed the number of the person he was disgusted of the most.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Sakito woke up when he felt a breeze of wind moving through his hair and over his face. His eyes and mouth were bound with a piece of cloth and his hands and feet were bound around a chair as well. It had been one hell of a night that was for sure. And although he tried to stay strong the psychological aspect of the kidnapping kind of gnawed on his nerves. But he tried to stay strong, especially in front of his kidnappers.

He never liked his former boss Tatsuro, now his premonitions were reassured. Sakito knew nothing of the reason though... well although he could guess that it circled around Toshiya and their kind of relationship. Which kind of disgusted him now although it was not his business. Toshiya was always right. He quit his job because he was scared of Tatsuro and now they knew what he was capable of.

But Sakito didn't blame Toshiya for the kidnapping. Who would have thought that Tatsuro would go this far? Sakito only hoped that everything turned out well…. Somehow. But on the other hand, who would miss him? His mother lived on a southern island, far away from the main land and his only friend in this big new city was Toshiya.

A sudden image of a stranger who had smiled at him the other day came into his mind…. _Ni~ya_ …. Would he save him if he knew? Shaking his head in disbelieve, Sakito didn't dare to daydream. No one except of Toshiya knew.

The first word that had come into Sakito’s mind when he saw Ni~ya’s eyes for the first time was ‘suffering’. But yet he had listened to him on the bench that day when he cried over lost Aoi whom was on another continent right now and forever.

Where were the heroes when they were needed? Sakito prayed silently that this was soon over. Today was Thursday and no one knew what the end of the day would bring.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Meanwhile, in a small district across town. There was a little, old Japanese styled bar with shady men on the tables and old Japanese music played silently in the background. A middle-aged man sat on a wooden table all alone and had his drink. The door opened and another man entered the bar. He nodded at the barkeeper and exchanged a few words of small talk. Then he looked over and saw the other man drinking in the back of the room. Slowly, he walked over to the man and sat down next to him.

“Long time no see.” Said the man who had just come in. “Even though your colorful hair is gone you’re still as eye-catching as ever…. Hitsugi.”

The man snickered over his drink and looked at the man to his right. “Same to you old man. Still the goth hair-dress…. ASAGI.” He accented his name and the older man smiled while the barkeeper brought him his drink.

“Now that I'm here,” Asagi started, “what’s going on?”

“I heard something in the wind…”

The dark haired goth-like man lifted one brow before he took a sip. “So the rumors are true…”

“What have you been up to lately?” Hitsugi wanted to know.

“Me? Look at me! I’m all bored and fat, making a little bit of music besides.... Everything legal and nothing for the cause you know.”

Hitsugi nodded because he understood just too well.

“Man, I often recall our days back at the Hara house and it still hurts so much thinking about what happened 24 years ago.”

“So true. It’s unbelievable that everything just… ended.”

Asagi nodded. Twenty-four years ago Hitsugi, Hakuei and him where like family in the Hara house but everything became a mess after the murder and came to an abrupt end, the Yakuza business was disbanded by the only alive Grandfather.  
And although he and Hitsugi haven’t seen each other for years, they both always knew where the other one was or what he did. Their friendship had never ended… except for one person who went missing over the years: Hakuei.

“I’m here to find the old bastard and drag him out with us.” Hitsugi suddenly said and Asagi looked surprised about it.

“You mean Hakuei?”

“Like hell I do! That bastard left for his own good and never contacted us again after all this years!”

Asagi looked into his glass. “Sure… but you do also remember that he was hurt the most.”

Hitsugi looked angrily back at Asagi.

“Okay we were all hurt but you know what happened with the family. It hurt Hakuei very much that he wasn't able to save our master, his wife and then the young boss being wounded…. That day something of Hakuei died as well and you know it.”

Hitsugi made an annoyed sound. He knew it but he was still too mad about Hakuei disappearing like that.

“What was it that you heard anyway?” Asagi wanted to know.

“The neighbor clans are very cautious about Iwagami corporation becoming megalomaniac. You know… in taking over parts of the city, bit by bit. Now it’s time for the families to handle. Now more than ever. And I have an inkling where that bastard Tatsuro’s starting with….”

“Our young master?”

Hitsugi nodded while he continued. “Toshiya who had lost his memories started working at Tatsuro’s office years ago. I was in utter shock about it but it wasn’t in my might to tell him what to do. I observed everything from a distance. All the properties of the Hara house belong to the young Master and since he’s making nothing out of it, Tatsuro showed up on the screen.” Hitsugi looked at Asagi and in affect he grabbed Asagi's shoulder. “We have to act brother. I will NOT watch our young Master go down like that. Not before we have avenged our old Master, our family.”

Asagi started to beam widely and tossed his long hair back. “FINALLY! Thought you would never say that! Count me in!”

And Hitsugi smiled along Asagi.

“But first I will do some research about where the old babysitter has gone to. I will contact you as soon as I have found Hakuei.” Hitsugi said and with that he excused himself to make a phone call outside the bar.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Seagulls and the sound of water could be heard outside.

The only indication which gave Sakito an idea where he was hold. For days he woke up to the sounds of it, his hands, eyes and mouth ached where he was bound to a chair. Out of fear to what could possibly happen, he straightened in his chair by the tiniest sound from outside.... and this time he heard male voices talking. He didn't want to know what they were talking about but at the same time he had to know what was going on, what they had planned to do with him... that was when the men started to shout angrily and the sound of bodies hitting against the wall could be heard.... then silence.

Sakito’s heart beat faster. Whether it was good or bad what had happened to the men outside… he was just done with everything, his nerves were done. His heart skipped a beat when the metal door to the hall rolled aside and someone stepped in. His breathing became quicker and the fact that he was blindfolded only made it worse. The steps came closer and closer until someone pulled down the cloth over his eyes, then his mouth.

It was Ni~ya.

There he stood like he remembered him from last time. The dark clothes and leather boots, half long dark hair covering part of his face.... Sakito couldn’t believe his eyes, he was dumbfounded.

“Found you. I’m sorry for taking so long.”

Sakito tried to open his mouth but no sound came out. So long? What did he mean? Was he some kind of police officer or undercover agent?

Ni~ya got rid of the ropes behind Sakito's back and around his feet.

“Can you stand?”

Sakito stood up but his knees gave away. Ni~ya rushed to his side and caught the weak young man. It was no use. He took one of Sakito’s arms and slung it around his neck, then he picked the weak man up under his knees and hold him in his arms. Sakito’s head rolled aside against Ni~ya’s shoulder and the weak young man closed his eyes. No other word was spoken while Ni~ya simply carried him outside.... but not without stealing glimpses now and then.... Sakito's perfectly shaped nose and mouth were breathing peacefully in his sleep. His aura was weak but it hasn't lost the rare golden shine which was so typical for Sakito.

Since his visit to Ruka Ni~ya knew that they were after the young man and he had an inkling that Sakito's spiritual power played a crucial part in them wanting him. But not as long as Ni~ya could help it. He would find out what exactly was going on.

Ni~ya made his way out silently around the knocked out bodyguards to the back entrance. The morning sun cared over their faces and Sakito slightly moved when he murmured. “How come…. You always seem to…. rescue me?”

Ni~ya smiled when a thought came into his mind: ‘Because it is my job.’

“Ssssh, you need to rest. I will bring you home.”

Sakito silenced and fell asleep on Ni~ya’s shoulder again. And the human warmth which Sakito left in his arms was something Ni~ya hadn't felt in a very long time.

They made their escape just in time. After Ni~ya had vanished, Ruka returned from his trip to Tatsuro’s office. And the moment he set foot onto the property, he knew that something had happened. Ruka entered and observed the situation: The knocked out men, the empty hall... he was so angry that he screamed out loud. The lingering energy in the air told him whose visit caused all of this and he was dead certain to hunt them both down.

Ruka stomped over to the men who were still spread all over the floor and he kicked them awake before he dialed Tatsuro’s number.

"Yeah?” Tatsuro answered.

“Boss. Bad news.”

From that moment on Tatsuro was pissed. “What?!”

“The hostage is gone.”

Deadly silence. “Any idea who took him?”

“Yes, an old acquaintance of me. He seems to be attached to Sakito from the past.”

“Well.... considering that Toshiya is on his way to negotiate with me.... it shouldn't matter. He still thinks that Sakito is with us.”

“I understand.”

“Try to keep this a secret.” And Tatsuro hung up on him.

Ni~ya had finally managed to bring Sakito back home. Somehow he felt guilty to pay off the taxi driver with Sakito's money but he had no other choice. Sakito would understand. He fumbled in Sakito's coat pockets for the keys and pushed the door open with one foot. He knew Sakito's place. It would be a lie to say that he wasn't there before. He found him through his energy days before and it was only by accident that he found him in his sleep.... there was something about Sakito that calmed his unsteady heart. Just watching him in his sleep gave him the feeling that everything would be okay eventually. That things were only half as bad.

He settled Sakito into his bed carefully and covered him with his comforter. Sakito slept peacefully and Ni~ya looked down on him while he stood next to his bed. His energy was exhausted but more from mental shock. Sakito wasn't a person who was ever in trouble. Ni~ya could feel it and he balled his fists. It made him so angry, so protective. He turned away and walked over to the large window at the end of Sakito's bedroom. Thinking, he looked outside. He was also partly to blame. A century ago he left heaven and went down to hell, he just had to leave everything behind. It was too much at this point but it also meant that he left Sakito behind. He was too weak to look after him back then.... but now, he had the courage to do so and no one could talk him out of that. Ever.

It was only a question of time before Tatsuro's men and especially Ruka would show up here. And because of that Ni~ya decided to stay at Sakito's place as long as necessary.

In silence, Ni~ya sunk down next to Sakito's bed on the floor and proped his chin on the mattress. Just like a dog who was waiting for his owner to wake up. It was reflex when he reached out and combed a strand of Sakito's hair behind his ear. It was then that Sakito moved in his sleep and he murmured.

“… Aoi….”

A most unknown feeling went through Ni~ya’s immortal body. It felt like a punch or a stab into his stomach. Sakito said it again and by the way he tossed in his sleep, it didn't seem to be a pleasant memory.

Almost offended by Sakito’s words, Ni~ya pulled back his hand. A single tear rolled down Sakito’s cheek and something broke inside of Ni~ya. He thought one moment about it but then he stretched out his hand again and took the tear onto his index finger. He looked at the tear before he put the finger into his mouth and licked the salty drop. Ni~ya closed his eyes and images started to form in his head. Stolen moments which he saw through Sakito’s eyes…. Memories. Concerning the reason why he cried.

That bastard of former Guardian Angel Aoi… what was his problem? Sakito was the most lovely being he knew and that old fart simply let him go?!

Sakito still seemed to be heart broken about Aoi leaving him behind. What kind of karma that was, Ni~ya couldn't even guess. And he could only guess why he felt so mad about the whole thing.

Sakito started to shiver in his sleep and Ni~ya pulled up the comforter again. He tucked Sakito in and settled down onto the mattress at the end of the bed. He leaned wit his ellbows onto his knees and sunk his head down, his hair covering his face.

He had no idea where all this would lead them to. Hakuei's reincarnation after a hundred years, Toshiya, Sakito and the others all back in town.... something was going on and he had no idea what to do.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hitsugi parked his Harley Davidson in the godforsaken smallest village he’d ever the fuck been to and got off his bike. Another in leather clad fellow went off the bike and both pulled down their helmets. Asagi shook his dark long hair and Hitsugi rustled through his shorter hair. Without speaking a word they both walked up the stony little path, their biker boots echoed down the little pavement.

“Christ, I would have never thought Hakuei going, or even 'living' in a place like this.” Asagi pointed with his head at the temple in front of them.

“Yeah, it’s time to kick him into the stupid head of his.” Hitsugi agreed.

Asagi gave a breath of laughter before they arrived in front of the main temple. Hitsugi knocked on the wooden door and a strange monk hurried around the house to meet them on the veranda. They all bent slightly to say hello and Hitsugi said: “I need to speak with a boss here.”

When the senior monk came around a few minutes later, he didn’t seem to be surprised about the strange visitors. He nodded and almost willingly told them where Hakuei was. Hitsugi found it rather strange because it could have been anybody asking for Hakuei. The reason 'because of family business' seemed to be enough though. The monk gave them a map and Hitsugi looked at the old man in disbelieve when he pointed out the temple in the mountains where Hakuei had been meditating for days.

“You must be kidding me.” Annoyed Hitsugi took the map and Asagi excused themselves politely.

At this point, Hitsugi was at his best. Pissed because of the long ride to the goddamn smallest village on the whole planet and pissed because of getting even deeper into the middle of bloody nowhere... he was done.

“I will soooooo kick him into his ass!”

“You’re the man.” Asagi answered.

“You just wait and see! I can already feel it!”

“Jup.” Asagi answered again.

Hitsugi cursed all the way up the mountain and the steepier the mountain got the louder his yells became. Asagi only nodded from time to time and said yes yes. He found it quite amusing though. All these years, Hitsugi had never changed. He was the impulsive one. Always had been. He had his heart at the right place.... but not his mouth.

“That son of a bitch! Going through a pensioner program to get washed off his sins?!!! PAH!!!! DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH! WE USED TO BE PROUD OF WHAT WE WERE DOING!!! Now crawling onto a mountain like a pussy!!!!”

Asagi was close to die because of surpressed laughter. Hitsugi being pissed was literally the best thing that could ever happen. He really didn’t want to interrupt Hitsugi in his love declarations but he touched him on the shoulder when they seemed close to the temple. It had taken them almost an hour to reach it. One hour of Hitsugi's super stressed and annoyed.

“Around the next bend and we should see the temple.” Asagi double-checked the map and pointed straight forward but Hitsugi didn’t wait. He started to run.

“Oi! Wait!” Asagi followed him and as soon as they’d taken the bend they saw a little wooden shrine on a tiny slope on top of the mountains. Hitsugi stopped for a moment to catch his breath before he walked calmly towards the temple. Slowly he stepped up the stairs to the temple’s small veranda. Asagi waited at the bottom of the stairs…. He knew what would come. There was only one door, a big wooden wall---

Hitsugi pulled back his foot and with his heavy biker boot, he smashed in the goddamn temple door, sending the whole wooden wall in and it broke into a thousand pieces. Asagi heard a deep shocked shout from the inside while the dust of many centuries was whirling through the air…. But Hitsugi kept on standing on the veranda with his feed spread wide and his hands on his hips. Looking like a bull, ready to attack and he also breathed like one.

Hakuei shouted out loud in shock. His heart beat like mad from the sudden shock during his meditation, he had even fallen backwards onto the tatami mat. Imagining days in total silence, this crash was like a starting war. Hakuei narrowed his eyes and he tried to make out features of the person standing in full light outside. The monk narrowed his eyes from the light and asked.

“Who are you?! Are you out of your mind?!”

He still didn’t seem to recognize Hitsugi. The still deeply pissed gangster stomped into the holy little temple. Hakuei still didn’t get it, even when Hitsugi grabbed him at the back of his robe. Hakuei couldn’t react so fast because he was still so shocked. Hitsugi though pulled the monk down the tatami mats onto the veranda and then sent him flying through the air only to land hard on the frozen ground in front of the temple. Asagi made a step backwards in shock and looked at his feet where Hakuei had just landed. The monk cursed loud and looked up in reflex but stopped after he looked into an old well known face.

“Asagi.” Hakuei said almost in awe. He stood up from the ground and turned around, only to see Hitsugi standing totally pissed off on the veranda and looking down on Hakuei.

“Hitsugi! Jesus Christ! Are you serious?! How dare you—!“

Hitsugi pulled up his chin and with one jump he was down the stairs, only to land in front of Hakuei.

“DON’T YOU DARE ASKING ME THAT!!!” Hitsugi got Hakuei’s collar and he pulled him tight to himself. “LOOK AT YOU… A PRIEST!!”

Twenty-four years later he looked for the first time into Hitsugi’s face again. He looked matured but his actions didn’t really show it.

“YOU DAMN ASSHOLE left after all we had done together and not a single word to anybody… TWENTY-FOUR GODDAMN YEARS! You better be glad not to have died because you can be sure I would have searched for your sorry ass even in hell!!!”

Hakuei recalled Hitsugi being pissed off not being a pleasant fellow.

“Is that a way to treat your family and friends? NO! The Hakuei I knew would have never acted like that!!!”

“But the Hakuei you knew is gone.” Hakuei gave calmly back which only sparked Hitsugi's aggression even more.

“Yes… look at you!!! YOU RAN!! Don’t you think we all suffered from what had happened?! Do you think it iwas only you?! Your selfishness makes me sick! The rest of the family stuck together except of you!! And you bet that I have waited for this very day to come!!! I wouldn’t have died without saying these words to you in person!!!”

Hakuei couldn’t react because he was too shocked. Hitsugi hauled off with his arm and punched Hakuei hard into his face. The tall man fell down to the ground again, blood dripping from his mouth. Hakuei spat out the blood and with an unknown furry, he looked with sparkling eyes back at Hitsugi. The tall monk, he was even taller than Hitsugi, stood up and sent a stroke to Hitsugi but the younger man ducked. He didn’t see the second one coming though and Hakuei sent him down to the ground as well.

“Guys!! Please!!” Asagi from outside the ring tried to reason the men but they were both too mad to stop. Hitsugi stood up from the ground with a bloody nose and kept on running towards Hakuei. He sent him down into the mud when he knocked him over They both continued wrestling on the muddy ground, beating and biting each other. Asagi was close to loose his nerves.

“FOR GOODNESS SAKE! THE TWO OF YOU! STOP!!!!”

But they didn’t listen. The two grown men were tossing and fighting, calling each other names. Asagi breathed out annoyed when his mobile started to ring. A number from an old friend showed up.

“Yes?”

The man on the other end started talking and Asagi’s face paled with every second.

“That's impossible! You sure it’s Toshiya?”

Now that rang a bell. The two fighting men stopped and looked over to Asagi who had his face covered with his long black hair. He nodded and said yes yes.

“We will be back later this evening. Until then please don’t do anything stupid. Wait for my call.” And he ended it. He put his mobile back into his leather jacket and looked at the bloody faces of the two men who sat frozen on the spot.

“Save your strength Gentlemen because you will be needing it.”

Hitsugi let go of Hakuei’s collar and he stood up. Hakuei followed with his totally torn robe. At that point he was more naked than clothed. The same could not be said about Hitsugi because his leather clothes were quite protective.

“Why are you really here?” Hakuei was the first to speak again and Hitsugi beamed almost out of his eyes.

“Can’t you fucking tell? The remains of the Hara family is in great danger.”

“What? But I thought Toshiya is the only one-“

“EXACTLY! Toshiya is the last Hara and our Boss. Iwagami is just about to absorb Hara business and properties and with it Toshiya himself. Dear Lord how can a human being be so blind.....”

Hakuei had never dared to think about it. Asagi continued. “They saw Toshiya going to Iwagami main office and he hadn’t come out since that morning. There is some great shit going on if you ask me.”

Hitsugi had his arms crossed. He breathed deeply in and out before he looked back at Hakuei and said: “Hi.”

“What the hell?!” Hakuei answered.

“How are you doing old friend? We old buddies thought about paying you a visit.”

Hakuei opened his eyes wide and pointed at Hitsugi. “You should have started our nice little meeting like that before you beat me and the temple into bits!”

Hitsugi answered nonchalantly. “No. Didn’t really feel like it. And besides: You deserved it and you know it.”

Hakuei remained silent.

“Don’t you think it’s enough… all this here?!” Hitsugi stretched out his arms as he pointed at the surroundings. “Are you done grieving about the past? Are you coming with us? Are you fighting for the Hara house again? Have you ever BEEN part of the Hara house-“

Hitsugi stopped when Hakuei stepped forward to lift Hitsugi up his collar. “Don’t you dare questioning my ambitions! They were my family too!”

“Then prove it.”

Hakuei let go off Hitsugi.

“Now is your chance old friend. Tatsuro has been hunting for Toshiya for years… Jeeeez I can’t believe you didn’t do anything about it! He was your responsibility!!! Christ! Old Hara would turn in his grave! Leaving you in charge—“

Hitsugi was cut off his words because Hakuei had just sent him down with another stroke. Now it was him who spit blood onto the ground. Hitsugi shook his head as he stood up again. He laughed at himself. “You now what? You beating me like this only shows that I am right. You’re so pathetic. That really isn’t the Hakuei I once knew… you know what? Go fuck yourself. I’m done with you.”

Hitsugi passed Hakuei and walked towards Asagi. He motioned the dark haired man to follow him but stopped in his tracks when he heard Hakuei behind them.

“Wait! We’re not done yet…” Hakuei walked towards his old friends. “We are not done with the Hara house.”

Hitsugi sniffed out loud. “Guess you can say that…. Now, you old, sexually frustrated man: Get your rosary and slippers because you will treat your old stuff for some new leather boots understand?”

Hakuei clapped Hitsugi onto his shoulder and jogged back into the temple only to come back minutes afterwards with his few belongings.

“It’s time for revenge.” Hitsugi added and the three old friends were on their way back to the village. After a little while Hakuei started to talk again.

“You were right Hitsugi.”

“I know.... but why the talk now?”

“I talked to Toshiya not one week ago and didn't sense the upcoming danger or more: I didn't want to sense it.”

Hitsugi stopped in his tracks as he turned around to Hakuei waving with his arms in front of his own face. “Wait wait wait wait wait… YOU are telling ME that Hara Toshimasa was at the temple to talk some sense into you and YOU DID NOTHING?!”

“Well not really. We all know about him loosing his memory. He came looking for me to find his past and after he’d pestered me for weeks I told him everything again.”

Hitsugi hit his hand to his forehead. Did Hakuei use to be so dense?

“I was afraid of the old memories getting stired but in the end I was glad that I’d told him.”

“So….” Hitsugi looked suspicious at Hakuei. “All this monk shit and running from the truth because you were afraid of hurting…”

“Him. It was me in charge and I had failed.” Hakuei shook his head and Asagi clapped his shoulder. He wasn’t present at the drama 24 years ago because he had been in town to run errands that fateful night but their pain was his nevertheless. So Asagi spoke up. “It is never too late to start again.”

Hakuei looked down but then slowly nodded. “You’re right. But one thing I can say for sure: My heart has always been with the Hara's.”

Hitsugi smiled and clapped Hakuei’s shoulder too. “That’s the spirit! Because there is a war to win and you better be part of it because I can tell you that it is not me or old Asagi our young Master wants to see in the end, comprende?”

A strangely, fastening heartbeat and Hakuei nodded at Hitsugi’s comment. “All right, let’s go my friends.”

A war was waiting for them and he was ready. Although he was too proud to admit it but God it felt good to be back in business. The sensation went down all his spine but imagining that he would see Tatsuro soon again made his fists tighten up…. And his heart beat faster for many reasons.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

In another part of town and many miles away from Hakuei and his friends, Toshiya was on his way to his personal most dreaded place. He stood in front of the Iwagami office building and looked up the gray facade.

He was here only for one person and that was Sakito as he was hold hostage by Tatsuro. The blackmail worked and with holding his breath, he entered the building. A lot of things went through his mind... scenes and memories he wanted to forget, enriched with his new gained childhood memories which made it only harder. This devil inside that buidling not only assasinated his family and threatened his friends, what Toshiya mostly couldn't forgive was himself. For letting that bastard into his bed, all these years, the cat and mouse games and all that because he didn't even know who Tatsuro really was. He felt ashamed of himself.

But right now he had to be strong, for his old new family, his friends, himself.

Toshiya entered the elevator but his arrival has long been noticed. With a triumphing smile, Tatsuro stood up from his chair and walked over to the long glass windows in his huge office. He looked over the city and enjoyed the splendid view of his part of town and the part of the neighborhood which will soon be his. Together with the cake which has just arrived.

Toshiya entered withou knocking and Tatsuro turned around, only to smile triumphantly at the young man who beamed furiously back at him.

“Long time no see. But please, have a seat.”

Tatsuro offered him a chair.

“I’d rather stand.”

Tatsuro made a gesture with his head and only now Toshiya realized that security had followed him. The security guy pushed Toshiya down on the chair and with another gesture, the security pulled Toshiya’s hands and feet back and chained him to the chair.

“WHAT?! You can’t be serious! STOP IT!! NOW!!” But no one listened and after he was done tying Toshiya to the chair, the guy left. With a murderous glare, Toshiya looked back at Tatsuro who countered. “Stop looking at me like that, it makes me horny.”

Toshiya turned his head away in disgust. “I despise you Iwagami Tatsuro! For all you have done to my family and friends.”

“Oh! Did your memories come back or…” And by Toshiya’s look he guessed it right. “I see. The other alternative.”

“You will never get away with this!”

“But I already have my dear Toshiya.”

“Where is Sakito? How is he? And pray that he is all right.“

“He will be fine as long as you will do as I please.”

“What do you really want from me Tatsuro?” Toshiya followed Tatsuro with his gaze who circled him like prey.

“I want you Hara Toshimasa and all that comes with you. And I will have it.”And it fell like scales from his eyes… It's not that he didn't guess right after his and Hakuei's conversation but hearing it out loud.... “And if I don’t want to?”

“You are in no position ‘not to want’ my Dear.” Tatsuro walked up to him and placed one knee between Toshiya’s legs while he took the young man’s chin into his hands. Toshiya moved his face away in disgust but Tatsuro grabbed him again. He kissed him hard onto his lips before he said: “I’ve missed you. Why are you hating me?” Toshiya laughed out loud in disbelieve. “Seriously?! You’re making me sick! You’re pathetic!” It was quick and painful when Tatsuro slapped Toshiya across his face. The young man felt the burning sensation on his cheek and looked back at Tatsuro in utter hate. “How far are you falling Tatsuro?” He couldn't help but provoke that bastard.

Tatsuro glared down on him with poisonous eyes and Toshiya wondered how he never saw that danger and hate in his eyes before. “If you want to save your best friend you better do as I wish.” Tatsuro still played the Sakito-card although he had long escaped somehow.

“What do you want? Money?”

“Money!” Tatsuro bellowed out loud. “No! Not such a trivial thing. I want you and all that comes with you. And everything will be incorporated with the Iwagami group.” Toshiya had a bad feeling about this.

“That’s impossible! Only through marriage---“ And realization hit him hard because they lived in an age where same sex marriage was absolutely legal. “You can't be serious-”

“Exactly! That’s why we will get married today and later we are off to our honeymoon.”

Toshiya’s mouth went dry because that was a total nightmare. It came out of him in reflex: “I would rather die!”

“We will see about that. But killing you won’t rescue Sakito…. So, you better do as I say or we will continue with our 'special programme' for poor little Sakito.”

A few moments of silence before Toshiya continued. “I want to hear him first and after you’re setting him free you can do with me as you please.” Toshiya lifted up his head as he was true to every word he’d said.

“I must confess it fills me with joy but I’m sorry to inform you that there is no negotiation. If you don’t want us to split him in half, you better sign the marriage papers here and now or you will never see him again.”

“You are bluffing.”

Tatsuro walked over to Toshiya, steady, meaningful and threatening. He made his point even more clear when he pulled out a knife. He stopped in front of Toshiya and lowered down with his upper body to be face to face with him. “You know why I preffer knifes to guns? Because they are personal. They make every interaction personal whether you want it to be or not.” Tatsuro reached with the knife in between Toshiya’s shirt buttons and cut the shirt open to the neckline, revealing his creamy white chest. A sadistic smile formed on Tatsuro’s lips when he saw the long scar over his chest. “I always loved that scar… fucking you and feeling it at the same time.... it gave me thrills.”

It disgusted Toshiya hearing it said out loud to the point of feeling sick. His gaze was turned away but he didn't say a word, he couldn't.A sudden sharp sting at the center of his chest brought him back though. It hurt and the next moment he felt his own blood running down his chest. Tatsuro gave him a long cut in between his pectorals. Not deep but a cut nevertheless. Toshiya cried out loud and silenced when Tatsuro covered his mouth and lowered his own to lick along the open wound. “You're still not believing me?”

Toshiya tried to collect himself before his mouth was released and he said: “I will give you my word if you give me yours. At least grant me this!”

“What do you want?” Tatsuro looked up at Toshiya again.

“Eternal safety for my friends and old family members. Including the old Hara Yakuza.”

“Deal.” Tatsuro lowered his head a last time to lick over the bleeding wound and Toshiya closed his eyes again while he turned away his head. The pressure on his body and space vanished when Tatsuro let go of him as he went to his desk to pull out some official looking papers. He then released one of Toshiya's arms to hold a pen. He gave Toshiya the pen to sign both papers and gestured to do so. “Don’t give me that look.” Tatsuro said while he lay the marriage contract in front of Toshiya. “I always liked you in my own special way and I promise you that I will never hurt you again..... well except you are provoking me.”

Toshiya had his eyes narrowed but he said nothing. There were two identical contracts in front of him. “Why two?”

“One is for me and the other for the registry office.”

It turned Toshiya’s stomach around just thinking about it. As a child he’d always dreamt about a lovely marriage with a person he loved and cherished. But the truth was far from it…. _Hakuei_ … Toshiya squeezed his eyes shut.

He picked up the pen and his hands were shaking. He set the pen down on the paper…. Hesitantly…. Waiting…. And he signed the marriage papers with his full name.

He and Tatsuro were officially married now.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Hakuei sat behind Hitsugi on his motorbike while Asagi followed them on his motorbike. Back into his new, old life. Back to where his roots lay. Back to....

The driving wind felt good on his skin, the borrowed leather jacket, the speed, the gasoline, it all gave him goosebumps. Old memories from an old life and yet it felt as if it was never gone. IT became clear to him on this day, when his old friends, his family stood in front of him and confronted him with the past, their past. They all suffered and lost much. But now Hakuei decided to never run again. He would protect them... especially him.

In that moment, his heart started to pound heavily in his chest and an image of Toshiya came into his mind. He was with him and in that moment something must have happened. Hakuei gestured Hitsugi to drive faster and they speeded into town.

Sakito jolted in his sleep from a terrible nightmare. He gasped, shook and for a moment he was even too scared to open his eyes. Slowly, he regained his breath, that was when he felt a hand on his forehead. It felt warm and slowly he opened his eyes.... only to look into a face he would have never expected to see again.

“Sssh, it’s all right. You are safe and at home.”

“Ni~ya.”

The young man, or so he seemed to Sakito, removed his hand, obviously checking for a fever while he sat still next to Sakito's bed on a chair. Sakito had a thousand questions but instead of asking one, his eyes simply started to water up and he began to cry. The last few days, weeks were just too much for him. He covered his eyes with his right hand when he suddenly felt his left hand being hold. Ni~ya simply hold onto him and said nothing. He was just there. With his thumb, he cared over the back of Sakito's hand, his breath steady.

It was a tender touch when the other hand cared through Sakito's hair and still he said nothing, Ni~ya was just there and in their silence it felt as if he simply knew, understood what Sakito went through. After a few moments, Ni~ya said in the deep but monotone voice of his:

“No one’s gonna hurt you. I won’t allow it. I will stay right here until you want me gone.”

Sakito removed his right hand from his eyes and looked up at Ni~ya from his bed.

“You are so kind..... why are you doing this?”

Ni~ya pulled up one side of his mouth and smirked. “Because you are Sakito.” He left it at that and Saki found it rather strange but sweet. Sakito looked up at Ni~ya who was lost in thoughts as his gaze wandered through his bed room.

“There is something bad going on Ni~ya… call me stupid but I can feel it. I've never felt like this before.”

In utter surprise, Ni~ya looked back at Saki. “Was it your dream? Did you have a vision? Why do you say that?”

”I don't know. It's just a feeling that things are changing.”

Ni~ya nodded absentminded and came to the conclusion that Sakito must be somehow gifted. It would explain his high energy level. But what plan God had with him, no one could tell.

“Do you think I’m strange now?” Sakito murmured.

“No. I just hope…” Ni~ya paused. “That you will be okay.”

Sakito clutched Ni~ya’s hand which he was still holding on to. “Ne Ni~ya…. I usually don’t ask strangers that question but maybe it’s because you feel familiar…”

“Yes?” The familiar part really shouldn’t make him happy.

“Would you mind staying the night? I know it’s stupid but I’m so afraid and-“

“I will.” It sounded almost desperate coming so fast. It was also then that Sakito slowly pulled his hand away to stand up. Ni~ya moved back with his chair to give Sakito space, his next move was not foreseen.

Sakito leaned forward and slowly, tenderly gave Ni~ya a kiss on his cheek. He moved back quickly without looking up to his face and he walked off into the kitchen.

Ni~ya sat upright like struck by lightning. Slowly, he touched his cheek and yet couldn't make sense out of it.

He has never been kissed before. Like intentionally.

It felt nice.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The three former Hara Yakuza had finally arrived and got off their motorbikes. Hitusgi lived in a loveless, concrete building somewhere in the suburbs not far from the city centre. It looked like a cold place where no sane human lingered after dark. They followed Hitsugi up the stairs to the 4th floor into a small apartment. Hakuei bowed and entered. The place was..... not what he would have expected to see. It was small but neat, decorated with cheap but antique art, tasteful just like Hitsugi always used to be. He always had the spirit of an artist who was unfortunately bound by his moderate income.

“Wait here, I will just get you something.” Hitsugi disappeared in the back of his apartement while Asagi and Hakuei waited in a small living room. Moments later, Hitsugi came back, obviously holding something behind his back. He stopped in front of Hakuei and with a quick move, he stretched out his hand.

“Maybe you feel at home possessing it again?”

It was a beautiful, all black katana, Hakuei’s fighting sword. A family heirloom from the Hara house, a gift from his old boss to protect his family.

“You’ve kept it all these years…” Hakuei said in awe.

“I knew you would come back some day.”

Hakuei stretched out his hands and took his old sword. He bowed to Hitsugi thankfully and with a quick movement, he pulled it out and looked at the blade. An immense feeling of energy streamed through him. It felt so good, this was where he belonged and he had to set things right.

Hakuei put the sword back into its sheath and looked at Hitsugi and Asagi. “Our plan?”

“Us? A plan? You know I would run in there boldly and kill everything on my way…” Hitsugi said and Hakuei lifted an eyebrow. “You’re looking even more badass without any hair bro’.” Hitsugi added. Hakuei touched his forehead where a few millimeters of black hair were already growing back. “We have to act thoughtfully.” The former monk said.

“Sure. Let me think…. First, I will make some phone calls. Asagi, get your group of people together.” Both men took out their mobile phones. Hitsugi gestured Hakuei to sit down and indeed it took a while until they were through their calling lists. The phone calls went something like that: “Our boss is mostly likely hold by the head of the Iwagami group. We are resurrecting the Hara Yakuza to save our future boss. Time and place for possible intervention will follow soon.”

Hakuei sat on the floor with his sword balancing on his knees. Something big was starting today and it amazed him that Hitsugi and Asagi were still in contact with most of the members of their old clan…. It seemed that it was only him who had run off selfishly but he needed the time. Circumstances back then made it impossible for him to stay. Today, his mind was set and clear and he was thankful that Hitsugi and Asagi never gave up on him, even got him back into this life, no matter what life it was.

Hakuei looked up at Hitsugi who hold out a mobile phone to him. “You will be needing this. I guess you never hid a mobile phone in your monk robes.”

Hakuei smirked and took it from Hitsugi. “Thanks man.”

“You will find my and Asagi’s number in there.”

“Thanks… for everything.”

Hitsugi smirked back at Hakuei as he got the words in between the lines. He turned around murmuring something about ‘being too good for this world’. Asagi’s mobile buzzed and he answered right away.

“Yes?”

A short pause followed.

“You keep on following them and report as soon as possible where they are heading to!”

He ended the phone call and looked at the two others. Someone from his spying group had called. “There’s no time to sit around. Let’s go back into the city! I will get my motorbike. Hurry!”

“What’s going on?” Hitsugi wanted to know.

“Iwagami just left the office building with a group of bodyguards. They were walking too close, all dressed in black. We guess that Toshimasa was in between these men, hidden from the outside.”

That rang a bell and the three men ran outside Hitsugi’s flat and down to the their motorbikes.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Ni~ya kept Sakito company although his new friend was utterly concerned about Toshiya's safety. Ni~ya could tell that he cherished him very much as a friend and slowly but surely developing a soft spot for all matters concerning Sakito, Ni~ya promised to 'listen around'. What he didn't tell Sakito was, that as soon as the young man was asleep, he would disappear and look for Toshyia and Tatsuro in his invisible state.

Yet, he couldn't believe that he was actually looking after Toshiya. If anyone told him that a century ago, he would have strongly denied the mere thought of it. These days, he used to be dead jealous of Toshiya and Hakuei, over time, things had changed, he had changed. He even changed sides.

Ni~ya was on his way to the office building while he recalled Sakito's last conversation.

“ _Tatsuro kept me hostage in exchange for Toshiya…. I have a bad feeling about it. What if he captures and harms Toshiya instead? He’s my only friend…”_

But Ni~ya only hoped not to run into Ruka again because this Demon bastard was able to ‘feel’ him.

In the distance, Ni~ya made out the huge Iwagami office building. He turned into a small backstreet to enter it from behind. He turned into another small area when he suddenly stopped. He felt some long forgotten energy. Astonished, he turned around and saw a group of dark clad men standing next to an old styled Japanese bar, talking to each other in a rough but silent tone. Out of the whole group he was able to single out one of them.… it couldn't be… was it really him? Really him? The long lost soul. Heaven's last prophecy? It was a miracle. Ni~ya saw him dying over a hundred years ago and there he stood in flesh and blood. Toshiya really did it. He found him.

Slowly, Ni~ya walked towards the group and the men stopped talking. Ni~ya eyes fixed on the person he recognized as Hakuei. He hadn't changed. His features just like he recalled them but his eyes were wiser.

“I’m sorry to interrupt you.” Ni~ya said confidently his eyes lying on Hakuei’s face and the other man looked strangely back at the young man. “What’s the matter?”

But before the others realized ,Ni~ya simply embraced Hakuei firmly and clasped his shoulder. Hakuei was frozen as were the others. Ni~ya solved the embrace a moment later and clasped Hakuei’s strong arms. The last time he felt this body in flesh was back in the 17th century where they had their last life together. It was so far away that he could hardly grasp the idea of it. Everything had changed since then.

“You don’t remember me but we once knew each other. Just wanted to say that I’m happy that you are back and healthy.”

Hakuei’s facial expression was priceless as Ni~ya let go off his arms. “All the best to you and Toshiya, Hakuei.”

Hitsugi poked Hakuei into his side. “You sure you hadn’t this hottie in bed before?”

“Christ Hitsugi! I wouldn’t forget about this!” Hakuei hissed but turned his attention back to Ni~ya who still stood right in front of him. “How come you know Toshiya?”

“I am acquainted with Toshiya’s best friend Sakito.”

One of the strange men nodded about hearing Sakito’s name and he told them about Sakito working in Tatsuro’s office. Ni~ya added the news that Tatsuro’s men used to hold Sakito hostage.

“They did what?!” Hakuei said.

“He kept Sakito hostage in order to get Toshiya. Tatsuro called Toshiya and wanted him in exchange for Sakito. Sakito is at home right now….”

“So Toshiya MUST BE with Tatsuro right now!” Hakuei fumed while Ni~ya added: “I know how to get into the building without being seen.”

“Too late cupcake. Tatsuro already ran off with Toshiya.” Hitsugi added.

Ni~ya looked strangely at the group. “Then why are you not following them?”

“It would be too obvious and we don’t want to endanger Toshiya. We have to be careful.”

Ni~ya thought about it. “Frankly… I have to settle old scores with one of Tatsuro’s handymen.” And besides, they hurt Sakito, Ni~ya thought.

Asagi reached for his mobile phone as it started to buzz. He answered it and ended it shortly afterward. “They’re on their way to the haven.”

“Haven? How come?” Hitsugi wondered.

“Iwagami has its own ships and God knows what.” One of the strange men added.

“Sounds fishy. Not that he’s shipping Toshiya away.” Hitsugi added but Hakuei felt everything else than being in the mood for joking. Old known anger welled up inside of him. He started to move and made his way over to Hitsugi’s motorbike. He jumped onto it.

“Jeeez Hakuei! What are you doing with my baby?”

“Acting. Now give me the keys.” His tone was murderous and his gaze steady. Hitsugi tossed him the keys and Hakuei grabbed them.

“What’s your plan boss?” Asagi wanted to know. No one was surprised that Asagi had called him boss because since infancy he was closest to Toshiya and thus high up in rank. “I will hide at the haven and sneak onto the ship if Tatsuro really intends to sail away.”

“And what about us?”

“I need some of you here and some at the haven to keep the situation in control. Wait for my call. And Ni~ya…” Hakuei looked over to the young man. “You’re in. You’ve got a similar motivation. I can see it in your eyes.”

The young Demon smiled and Hitsugi looked perplex from the sudden trust in a total stranger. He wondered if there really was nothing between these two in the past… anyway.

“Let me come with you.” Ni~ya said to Hakuei. “You will need help and I can sneak in like an invisible man.” Literally.

Asagi furrowed his forehead. “Where does that skill come from?” He wanted to know like the other Yakuza.

“Special training as secret agent.” Well it was more or less true.

Hakuei gestured with his head for Ni~ya to jump onto the back of the bike and the young Demon did so. He’s had several reasons to help the group of men: Firstly, it was Hakuei who needed help, secondly, they hurt Sakito because of Toshiya and thirdly, he would happily cross Ruka’s plans whatsoever. Although he knew that him meddling in human affairs would most likely change karma, he couldn't care less. He never did and besides he was from hell anyway. Although even hell residents shouldn’t interfere in human business. Not even for selfish reasons.

“See you soon and be safe.” Hitsugi nodded at them and Hakuei started the engine, he traveled out the backstreet into direction haven.

 

 


	39. Chapter 39

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

  
  


Part 39

The Last Chapter

4 of 5

  
  


**Hakuei and Toshiya**

  
  


**~ Afterlife ~**

 

 

“Where are we going?!” Toshiya repeated the question for the hundredth time. Tatsuro’s men had dragged him out of the building and into a car blindfolded. After a quiet car ride, he was pulled outside where he smelled the sea and after being pushed and pulled, his feet landed on unsteady ground which he made out to be some kind of boat or ship.

He was tossed into a single bedroom inside the ship and after the men had disappeared… another pair of footsteps entered the room. The blindfold was tugged down and he looked up into Tatsuro’s dark eyes. Toshiya glared at him. “What now Tatsuro? You got it all. What else do you want?”

Tatsuro took a nearby chair and sat down to look at Toshiya who lay with bound hands on the single bed.

“Honeymoon with my wife. That’s all.”

Didn't sound really credible and Toshiya told him so. “Where are we really going to?”

“Okinawa. That’s all you need to know for now.”

“I’m sooooo sick of your childish games! With your lack of respect you order people aroun-!”

Toshiya stopped insulting Tatsuro when the older man slapped him hard across the face.... which was a first. With a shocked stare, Toshiya looked up at Tatsuro who leaned down to him and grabbed his chin.

“DON’T YOU DARE telling me about respect!” He looked into that hatred filled eyes... and kissed him. Hard and unpassionately to mark his territory. Toshiya bit his lip and set himself free for a moment. Tatsuro shoved him back onto the bed and added while he wiped his mouth. “Keep on looking at me with this hateful eyes. It only turns me on more.”

“You’re so disgusting I could vomit.”

Tatsuro smiled devilishly and Toshiya’s heart missed a beat when the evil man came closer and leaned onto the bed. Toshiya tried to move away but Tatsuro pulled him closer to himself. He leaned over Toshiya with his broad chest and whispered at Toshiya’s ear while his hands searched a way underneath Toshiya’s shirt. Tears started to form in Toshiya’s eyes when he felt the cold hands running over his chest… he wouldn’t dare….

“Keep on fighting. No one's gonna help you here.”

Toshiya froze in utter shock. Tatsuro could really do everything with him and no one would come or even notice. He felt Tatsuro biting into his ear and Toshiya closed his eyes from the sensitive spot the older man unfortunately knew about. It filled his mind with disgust when he felt these cold hands wandering down his pants. Toshiya tried to repress a wince, instead he said: “If you are taking me by force, I swear I’ll kill myself-“

“SIR!” There was a sudden knock on the door outside and Tatsuro stopped moving. He answered quite annoyed. “WHAT?!”

“We’re ready for departure! ” The man outside the room said. Tatsuro breathed out and moved up from the bed. He walked over to the door but not before he added. “If I were you, I would kill myself after I've done you, I wouldn't miss the show if I were you.” Tatsuro left the room and locked it from outside.

Toshiya repressed the 'been there done that' and left it at that. There was no point in arguing with that insane man and he wondered if Tatsuro has always been this mental.... He must have hidden it quite well because these impulses don't grow over night.

Toshiya recalled the past few months when Tatsuro showed more and more of his real face, recalled the countless times he wanted to break up with him because he felt threatened by his aggressive and jealous demeanor. And now it brought him here: Kidnapped, married off and expropriated. It couldn't get any worse.

Toshiya looked out of the little window and saw the sun slowly going down. Another terrible day ended and he wondered how Sakito was doing…. wondered how Hakuei was doing hundreds of miles away inside that Buddhist temple in the woods. Both of their worlds were so far apart, so different. And he would never know what happened to him, shipped off to Okinawa by the man who killed his family.

Toshiya closed his eyes and felt how tears caught in his long eyelashes. He couldn't even breath and simply hold onto it, hold himself together.... like this he felt so incredibly weak and lost and for the first time he realized that he was really alone. With no family, no close friends.... there was nothing left.

But the worst was the feeling of humiliation. Toshiya felt so humiliated by the steps he ever took into this evil man's direction. From the first moment he saw him, he was infatuated with him, wanted to know him, be with him and that was before he even knew that they had a past. A spider which slowly wove a deadly web around him... and he was caught. This was how lost hope felt. It left a numb feeling.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

It took Ni~ya longer than expected to sneak up on board but not because they were late, God knew they observed the ongoings of drug smuggling since last night.... Hakuei was the problem. He wanted to storm the ship together with Ni~ya but the group of men vehemently kept him from doing so because he was too personally involved. Hakuei of course was a capable fighter in the past but coming from a Buddhist temple to robbing a drug smuggling ship within a day.... was just too much, leaving even the personal aspect aside. Hitsugi didn't say it but he, Asagi and Ni~ya knew that there was a bond between him and Toshiya which was unnaturally strong.

Hitsugi held Hakuei back and still reasoned with him when Ni~ya finally left their hideout with the men's consent. They had to act, now. Around the corner and free of his peers, he finally changed into his invisible state and entered the ship from the backside. As soon as he set foot onto the ship, an energy wave went through him which made him halt. No human or low ranked Angel would have felt that but as a Demon, Ni~ya clearly felt that there was evil on this ship. And this was something strong, clearly not coming from Ruka whose energy he still couldn't feel at the moment.

Ni~ya moved on through the rooms invisibly and passed dangerous looking Yakuza who were playing cards. He moved further down the ship to the quarters for guests and all doors looked the same. It was total silence down there and the corridors long and dark. No door gave away what was behind it and when Ni~ya finally reached the end of the corridor, he stopped in front of the last door.... he would recognize that energy everywhere but not because he wanted to but because he was used to it.

Still in his invisible state, Ni~ya passed the door with ease and came to a halt in front of a sleeping figure whose hands and legs were bound. It really was Toshiya and his swollen eyes were closed and he soundly asleep. It took Ni~ya some time to process that this was indeed Toshiya whom he had last seen over one hundred years ago, a time when the balance between the worlds were off and everyone of them a complete mess. But right now in this reborn human state, Toshiya had no idea what he went through in the past, what all of them went through but most importantly, he had really found Hakuei again.

Now after all this time had passed, Ni~ya was cool with it. In fact, he was thankful that they were both back. Toshiya and Hakuei really deserved each other and he would do what he could to help them.

The way he had to wake Toshiya was unfortunate but he became visible and covered the humans face to prevent him from screaming. Toshiya jolted in his sleep and opened his eyes wide when he saw a stranger covering his mouth.

“Sssh,” Ni~ya said, “It's all right. I am here to save you. I will remove my hand now but promise me not to scream.” Toshiya nodded and Ni~ya removed his hand.

“Who are you?”

“I am Sakito's friend, Ni~ya.”

“How is Saki?!” Toshiya blurted out.

“Don’t worry. He’s fine and at home.” Toshiya looked back at Ni~ya and thought that this guy seemed somewhat familiar although they never met. “Have you and Saki been friends for long? Because he never mentioned you before.” It shouldn't have stabbed his heart but Ni~ya answered: “We just met recently.”

“And you happen to know about the kidnapping?”

“Kind of. I know one of Tatsuro's handyman, Ruka.”

“That guy, he is so shady.” Toshiya replied while Ni~ya cut the rope around his hands, he asked: “Do you know where this ship is going to?”

“Okinawa. Tatsuro said it is for the honeymoon but I can sense ulterior motives here.”

“Drugs. He kept loading it on board… but wait, did you say honeymoon?”

Toshiya followed Ni~ya with his eyes who stepped in front of him. “That bastard made me sign a marriage contract before we left the office today.”

Ni~ya rolled his eyes annoyed. Someone's gonna be thrilled about that...

“Ni~ya, I need to get the marriage contracts. There are two of them. I have to destroy them.”

“Let me handle that. But first listen to our plan: I must leave you here otherwise Tatsuro will get suspicious but your men and the police will be waiting for you in Okinawa.”

Toshiya looked surprised. “My men?”

“The Hara Yakuza are back in town. Thanks to Hitsugi and Asagi. They got the remaining Yakuza back together in pursuit to find and rescue you. The head of the Hara family.”

Toshiya was speechless, almost overwhelmed by the thought that someone out there still seemed to care. But he spared himself the question whether Hakuei knew about all that. “My old friends Hitsugi-san and Asagi-san! I haven’t seen them since I was a child!” For a moment, he was speechless. “I'm so happy that I am not alone. Thank you Ni~ya, I truly thank you. Although we are strangers. You are a good guy.” Toshiya was overwhelmed and Ni~ya couldn't help himself but to smirk. “The Hara Yakuza… sounds great. Sounds like coming home. My old family....”

Ni~ya looked around nervously. He already stayed here way too long and had to leave. “Toshiya I need to leave but be at ease, we will be there for you. Your men will get you.”

“Sounds great, thank you so much Ni~ya. Please tell my men, that the Hara house is back in business.”

“I will.”

Toshiya suddenly started to feel very sleepy and within minutes, he was deep asleep. Ni~ya counted himself lucky that the old trick still worked. He became invisible and left the room to sneak around the ship some more.

He went straight to the room that reeked of negative energy, Tatsuro's private quarters. The mad men wasn't there at the moment but Ni~ya could feel that he had just left his quarters. He had to be quick. Ni~ya searched still invisible through the stacks of papers and boxes but found nothing which looked like important documents. He stopped for a moment and concentrated on the energy around him.... where would he put important documents. It wasn't on the desk... and his gaze fell on a folder right next to Tatsuro's bed. Ni~ya rushed over, opened the folder and found the documents signed by both parties. He got them! Quickly, he rushed to the door and left the room as silent as possible because an invisible flying folder was definitely something even humans could see.

Now after inducting Toshiya to the plan and retrieving the documents, Ni~ya's job was done. Staying on board any longer could not only endanger him but also Toshiya and suddenly....

Realization washed over him like ice water.

It couldn't be…. It was impossible. How could he be so blind? Ruka's disappearance..... His interests weren't about Toshiya or helping Tatsuro, it was all about Sakito from the very start. Ni~ya stormed on board outside and with his demonic wings, he left the ship and flew into the dark night, the documents save under his arm.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The remaining Hara Yakuza had arrived earlier this evening in Okinawa and were packed into four cars, they made their way to the haven which they found out by digging was property of Iwagami Corporation. The police would join them later too, waiting for the shipment of drugs next to their precious cargo.

Although it was the middle of the night, Ni~ya found Hakuei standing in a circle together with the other men discussing. He walked over to them and the moment his and Hakuei's eyes met, he broke off any conversation and ran over to Ni~ya. He grabbed the young Demon's shoulders and shook him. “How is he?! Is he alive?!”

“He is as well as can be expected. Toshiya's very brave. There is however another matter which requires your attention...” Hakuei let go of Ni~ya whom stretched out his arm to lift up the folder. Hakuei took it and read it.... his fingers grabbed into the paper and his face filled with indescribable anger. He screamed out loud which got Hitsugi and Asagi's attention from a few meters away.

“THIS CANNOT BE! He must have forced him!! Toshiya would never-” He paused while Hitsugi ran over and Asagi followed. He looked over Hakuei's shoulder and read the document as well, he added. “This indescribable bastard!” Hakuei tasted bile in his mouth and with a sudden tear, he shredded the pages into confetti, stomped and spit on it. Hitsugi hold onto Asagi in shock by the sudden outburst, he whispered to Asagi: “I guess the marriage has been annulled.”

Hakuei breathed in and out like a bull. He couldn't remember the last time he was so upset.

“Hakuei, calm down.” It was Hitsugi but no one dared to touch him. “You destroyed the documents so the marriage is invalid.”

Hakuei shook his head and stomped in circles thinking to himself aloud. “That filthy bastard.... can you imagine the humiliation against Toshiya, his family, us?!.... One way or another, that bastard is going to pay.”

Ni~ya whom remained calm all the time over, looked at Hitsugi and Asagi. They nodded at him knowingly and Hakuei finally joined their silent conversation. “You have to go?” He asked Ni~ya.

“I need to check on Sakito. It's too dangerous for him right now.”

“We understand.” Hitsugi added calmly. “You did more than enough for us.”

Ni~ya nodded and added: “I will be back if you need me. Just give me a call.”

“Thank you.” Hakuei finally stepped in. “You are a real friend. All the best to you and Sakito.”

It sounded strange coming from Hakuei but Ni~ya smiled. In fact, the words meant a lot to him.

“Together we will make it.” Ni~ya touched Hakuei on the shoulder and the older man nodded.

“Now you all better try to sleep for a few more hours. You need your strength in the morning.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

The array of people inside the harbor the next morning was insane. Special police force, the Hara Yakuza with friends, emergency physicians, security... all well hidden inside the halls of the Iwagami corporation at the harbor, waiting for that one ship to arrive.

It wasn't rare for Japanese police to cooperate with the Yakuza and they were very eager to join their little venture since drugs were involved too.

Hakuei was rather speechless the whole morning over. With a tight grip he hold his sword handle at his side, thinking deeply and praying to God that none of his friends would be lost during the fight.... and there would be a fight. There was no way that Tatsuro would let go off Toshiya and his freedom peacefully. Earlier this morning, he, Hitsugi and Asagi talked with their men about the rescue plan but internally they all knew that in situations like that, there was no plan, only a lot of luck which paid off with a clear mind.

The police force and them were waiting inside the larger harbor halls for a sign to storm the harbor as soon as the ship would dock. They would wait for the men to leave the ship and by the sign of one of the police men from the front, they would storm the harbor and the ship at gunpoint. The silence and the waiting were nerve wracking. They weren't allowed to talk, only give signs with their hands... and simply waited.

It was three hours later when they heard the noises of a ship on water and the police man at the front giving them a positive sign but to keep on waiting. Hakuei's heart beat up to his throat while he tried to calm himself with Buddhist meditation. For a moment, he closed his eyes and when he opened them again, Hitsugi afar behind a container nodded at him and Hakuei nodded back.

After the ship had docked, noises of men stepping on land and talking could be heard. They lightened cigarettes and laughed at each other, thankful to be back on land. The crowd started getting busy, the first boxes were unloaded from a second opening of the ship and the police observed it hidden in their spots.

It was then that Tatsuro finally showed on deck and behind him was Toshiya. The police man at the front gave a sign that the suspect had appeared and Hakuei's mind went blank.... they waited for the sign. Tatsuro had to step on land together with Toshiya and then they would storm outside.. but their plan had been forced to change when one of the handymen was opening the hall they were all hiding in.... they had to storm out now to have the advantage of surprise.

Adrenaline kicked in, Hakuei hold his sword in one hand, a gun in the other, Hitsugi pulled out his gun as well and Asagi already concentrated on the door. The door was pulled open from the outside and after a few seconds the police officer gave a sign to attack.

They were told to attack as silent as possible which meant without screaming which was unbelievably hard. Only the sound of a large group of men running over pavement gave them away just before storming outside. The man who opened the store house was screaming in shock and it took only seconds for the other men to realize that they were under attack. The following two store houses opened as well and the police force was swarming the whole compound.

Hakuei, Hitsugi and Asagi never left their aim out of sight and Tatsuro acted quickly. At first he seemed surprised but he grabbed Toshiya's arm in an instant to run back into the ship.... a shot which passed his head only by inches made him stop abruptly.

The Iwagami Yakuza had no chance, they were surrounded at the harbor as the police force was just too large and a not insignificant number of guns were pointing at the remaining Yakuza on board, a dozen of them alone pointing at Tatsuro's head. Toshiya was shaking while the older man smirked with an evil grin when he made out the three well-know men at the harbor in between the police. Inside the ship, his men wanted to storm the deck but he made his men stop with a gesture of his hand. He had absolutely no idea how the information had leaked about them sailing to Okinawa. But the murderous glare at Toshiya confirmed his suspicion.

“Well well....” Tatsuro finally said out loud. “You really surprised me here. Well done to the Hara Yakuza.” Toshiya turned his head around in shock and searched the black clad crowd for a sign. He finally spotted Hitsugi and Asagi and a few meters in front of them.... time just stood still for a moment when their eyes met. He expected to never see Hakuei again and on top of this in such a scenario. For a moment it felt as if Hakuei cared over his cheek mentally and told him that everything's gonna be alright. That was when Toshiya was pulled back into reality when Tatsuro yanked on him hard, pulled him to his side and pointed with a rifle at Toshiya's head. A few men gasped as it was the worst case scenario in hostage cases.

The police kept their guns pointed and Hakuei tried to control his breathing, they all remained very calm. It was the police chef who spoke: “Iwagami-san! Let us end this now and no one will be hurt!”

“Call back your men and my hostage will survive!!” He countered, then he hissed at Toshiya's ear. “You little bitch set up everything, didn’t you…”

“I wish I did but no. This goes out to the best family a man can have.” Toshiya beamed proudly. Seeing them here all together filled him with a strange power. Out of the blue, Tatsuro hit Toshiya’s head with the gun and the young man collapsed in his arms. Tatsuro picked him up and hold him in his arms. Meanwhile Hitsugi grabbed for Hakuei's arm from behind to keep him from doing anything stupid.

“Your conditions!!” The police chef screamed up to the ship.

Tatsuro beamed down the railing. “My hostage will live if you let me set sail. I’m legally married to this man so I can stay with him together freely!”

Asagi narrowed his eyes and nodded first when the police officer looked at him and they all agreed to the deal for Toshiya's safety. Now they had reached the point where their plan had officially failed.

Tatsuro motioned his men to move back on board and the police on the ground had to let them go. That was when Tatsuro felt a cold metal blade against his throat. His grip around unconscious Toshiya's body tightened and he moved his head slightly aside in reflex. “Who?!” He bellowed when an old known voice answered from behind.

“Let go off him and you will keep your dirty life although and God knows it, I would rather take it from you right here.”

Hitsugi widened his eyes when he looked around. When did he get on board?

“Are we making deals right now, Hakuei?” Tatsuro asked annoyed the man standing behind him. Hakuei had taken the chance and sneaked in between the police force on board from the second entrance. “You’re bluffing.”

Hakuei pressed the sword closer to Tatsuro’s throat when the first pearls of blood ran down his throat. The old man stiffened and Hakuei motioned with his head for Hitsugi to come up to them. Hitsugi ran up to the ship’s deck while Tatsuro beamed with his eyes full of hate.

Hitsugi slipped his arms under Toshiya’s body and lifted him up into his own arms. The evil man glared holes into Hitsugi's head who was very cautious with every move Tatsuro’s body made. Hitsugi stepped back with Toshiya in his arms and pressed him close to his chest. They finally had him back and he left the ship as quickly as possible.

In that moment, Hakuei hissed at Tatsuro. “And just for your information…. The marriage is invalid.” Hakuei grinned. This victory belonged to them.

“WHAT?!”

The moment Hitsugi had reached the police group, Hakuei suddenly started to tremble and with wobbly movements had stepped back from Tatsuro, lowering his sword. That was when the police group saw the knife sticking in his side. Tatsuro shoved the man over board with a quick an ruthless movement and ran into hiding into his ship. Fire was opened but Tatsuro had the advantage of surprise on his side this time... just before he had reached the entrance, it was Asagi who aimed steadily in all this chaos and wounded him on his shoulder. The shot smashed his collarbone and the evil man went down screaming.

Meanwhile, Hitsugi ran into one of the halls with Toshiya in his arms. Several policemen and the emergency unit were waiting back there. “Here!” Hitsugi put Toshiya into the arms of the nearest police man. “I need to go back!” He ran back to the place of fighting but since the police was quite fine in dealing with the mobsters, he went straight into the water and swam behind the ship to search for Hakuei… but he was too late. Hakuei was nowhere to be seen.

Back on board, the devilish man lay on his back and his long dark hair was soaked with blood from his shoulder. With one hand he hold his wound while he had his eyes pressed shut in pain. Tatsuro only opened them when he felt water dripping on his face, then he saw wet Hitsugi lowering himself down and looking at him with a cold glare.

“What are you doing?” One of the policemen asked while Tatsuro beamed at him with eyes full of hate.

“Just saying good bye.” Hitsugi added. Tatsuro smiled and he tried to laugh but stopped halfway because he couldn't. “Y-you wish.” He stammered. “The police won’t have me forever… and I will find you and-“

Tatsuro stopped when Hitsugi covered his mouth with one tight grip and pulled on Tatsuro’s chin so hard that he winced in pain from the movement of his injured shoulder. Hitsugi moved his head over Tatsuro’s and looked at him deeply into the eyes. “We won’t hide from you. Either you will leave the Hara family in peace or you will be smashed…. On the other hand: Why don’t you tell the police about your nice little murder 24 years ago? I’m sure they are eager to hear about that.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 24 hours later *~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya remembered how he awoke in the arms of a police officer and the people around him screamed that Hakuei was wounded and could not be found.... it took all the air out of his lungs. Still weak, he tried to sat up while his men were looking for Hakuei around the port....

It turned out that Hakuei swam a few meters away from the ship and just before he was drowning unconsciously, Asagi had pulled him out of the water.

Hakuei was attached to the ECG and each beep told Toshiya that his beloved was alive thanks to the machines. He survived the stabbing from yesterday's rescuing mission but was still unconscious while liquid medicine was pumped into his motionless body. He looked very pale from all the blood loss.

It ached being in his proximity and not being able to touch him, to tell him how important it was for Toshiya when he found out that Hakuei was part of the rescue mission. His eyes were on him all the time, his mind reached out for him.

Toshiya stood as far away from the hospital bed as possible. He leaned against the cold white wall. The weather was sarcastically beautiful outside, the sun illuminated the room just beautifully, it made everything even whiter than white.

Toshiya tried to morph with the wall, tried to get a grip of everything and himself, afraid to fall apart. But nothing could stop that numb feeling inside of him. Too much had happened the past few days and his mind was blank. All he knew was that in front of him on the cold hospital bed lay unconscious Hakuei, only alive by machinery and chemicals. He couldn't even stand the thought of touching his hand, he just couldn't. With closed eyes, he turned around and left the room.

Tatsuro was in custody right now but they all knew that it was only a question of time until that mad man was free again. And the only way to stop this man was to get back in business and that was what Toshiya was planning to do. You could only beat a Yakuza as a Yakuza. And Toshiya would be their Leader with Hakuei and the others at his side..... about the others he was sure that they would join but about Hakuei... not so much. This man has always been unpredictable for him. What if he wanted to return to his old life as a monk? What if this rescue mission was a one time thing?

Toshiya finally returned home after the past few days and found his home strangely quiet, almost unbearable so. Far too quiet. He tried to organize his life but didn't get anything done on the first day. He jolted on the kitchen table one day later when the house phone rang. It was Hitsugi.

“Hey, he's awake. Where are you?”

Toshiya paused. “At home.”

“Right.”

“Listen Hitsugi, I can't right now.”

Hitsugi on the other side nodded although Toshiya couldn't see it. “I understand. It was a lot for all of us but come on, he didn't deserve that. He keeps asking me about you and I'm running out of excuses. ”

“Well...” Toshiya paused. “I'm ashamed of many things right now. I need to sort myself out first.”

“If this is about the marriage papers, they’re destroyed.”

Toshiya froze with the phone in his hand “What? Are you serious? But how? Who-?”

“Ni~ya got the papers and Hakuei destroyed them. He lost it when he shredded the papers, I can tell you that.” Toshiya's heart jumped slightly by the mere thought of it.

“Just be there later. “And with that, Hitsugi hung up and Toshiya looked at the beeping telephone in his hand. Somehow, he was afraid to see Hakuei. Maybe he was afraid of being rejected when asking him to join his family again.... because without Hakuei, he felt like he couldn't do it. He was his family.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Toshiya stood in front if the door which lead into Hakuei's room at the hospital and tried to enter many times. He practiced the speech all the way to the hospital, the words he wanted to say to him but the moment he set foot into the room, everything was forgotten. He found Hakuei sleeping peacefully as he slowly moved closer to him. He took the chair next to Hakuei's bed and observed his breathing. They had taken the tubes out of his mouth and arms, he was steady breathing on his own and Toshiya recalled clearly that Hakuei had always been a fighter.

It was then that he couldn't hold back anymore. Slowly, he reached out and touched Hakuei's hand. He took it into his hand and held it tight. Toshiya was fighting with his tears and breathed out heavily.... that was when he felt the back of his hand caressed with a thumb. Toshiya covered his eyes with his free hand when he felt his arm being pulled softly. He stood up in reflex and looked back teary eyed at Hakuei who looked back at him silently. There was a silent moment in between them before Hakuei stretched out his arms and Toshiya slowly lowered down on the hospital bed and sank into Hakuei's arms. He breathed out staggered while he buried his face in between Hakuei's throat and shoulder. The older man closed his eyes and cared over Toshiya's head, sunk his hand into his hair while the other encircled his shoulders.

“You are safe.” Hakuei whispered and Toshiya nodded as he spoke against Hakuei's throat. “You are alive, thank God.” Slowly, Toshiya retreated from the hug back into his chair but his hand was hold on firmly. Hakuei turned his head aside to look at him. “Are you all right?”

“Don't worry about me, I'm fine, thanks to all of my men. Are you in any pain?”

Hakuei shook his head. “I'm good. In a few days you can see me jumping.”

Toshiya smiled back at Hakuei and while the sunlight fell so beautifully on his face, Hakuei saw for the first time not the spoiled child from back then but a man who has grown into his role in life from experience, good and bad ones. His face had aged beautifully, his cheekbones were more distinctive and his almond shaped eyes were-

“Thank you for destroying the marriage papers, Hitsugi told me that you... erm, took care of it.”

Hakuei broke the eye contact and looked at the ceiling. “My pleasure. I cannot imagine the humiliation you had to endure. But that's in the past now.” He still hold onto Toshiya's hand tight while Toshiya tried not to get too self conscious about it.

What lay heavily on Toshiya's mind however was whether Hakuei would return to the temple after all this was over. He had dozens of conversations in his head, practiced the perfect sentences and questions but right now his mind was still blank, so he simply said: “I wanted to say thank you Hakuei, for joining the rescue mission. It meant a lot to me.... that you were there.”

Hakuei turned his attention back to Toshiya and pulled up his hand to his chest. “There was not a single moment of doubt when Hitsugi contacted me.” He left out the details on how he was literally pulled out of his peaceful retreat.

“At the same time I feel unbelievably guilty for pulling you out of your chosen, quiet life into all this trouble and war. For this, I sincerely ask for your forgiveness.” Toshiya now pulled back his hand and rested his hands on his knees as he bowed down on his chair. To be shocked was an understatement. Hakuei carefully moved up into a leaning position as he touched Toshiya's chin to bring his face back up. “You don't have to apologize to anyone, you hear me?” It was then that tears filled Toshiya's eyes, his face was so full of feelings, so fragile. He breathed loudly in and out before he spoke again: “I am bringing back the Hara Yakuza but I won't ask you to join. You have always been a free man and you can-”

It was sudden when cold lips silenced him and all his words and well meant intentions were gone. His wide opened eyes slowly closed when he felt the older man kissing his lips and slowly pulling on them. Hakuei's hand wandered back to Toshiya's nape as he pulled him closer... it became desperate pretty quickly. Tears rolled down Toshiya's closed eyes as he sighed into Hakuei's touch, his soft lips took him in completely, their tongues met and intertwined automatically. It felt like in a dream, timeless. They had never kissed before but in this moment it felt like coming home to something that once was and could be again. It was a strange sensation, mixed with lust and too much feelings. Hakuei kissed him softly onto the lips once, twice, before he slowly moved back and cared over the side of Toshiya's face.

“I should be sorry for touching the head of the Hara house but I couldn't help it. I can not let you walk out of that door today and lie any longer to you and myself.”

Toshiya was speechless. He had yearned for Hakuei for so long. As a child, he used to be his bodyguard and friend but before he could understand why his heart ached every time Hakuei was absent, the drama had unfolded and the Hara house was no more. Next to his temporary memory loss from the shock back then. It took him years to recover. They all needed that time.

“And now ask me again to join your family.”

Toshiya made a breath of laughter when he turned his face down shyly while Hakuei searched for his eyes. “You don't expect me to form a clear thought right now.” Was all Toshiya could say. The kiss was amazing, Hakuei's energy had literally ran him over. The older man finally leaned back into his bed and Toshiya followed his movements with his eyes. After all, he was still not fully able to move his torso.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Toshiya asked just to escape the room and get some fresh air. Hakuei smiled and nodded at him. “Thank you.” And with that, Toshiya left the room in a hurry while Hakuei smiled satisfied at himself.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Ni~ya ran around the dark city. The neon lights of the huge commercials were a pain for his demonic eyes. Even the nights were far too bright for his taste and the noise was everywhere. The Demon ran into the well known street and stormed up the stairs. He felt Sakito’s well known energy although it was kind of weak. Ni~ya knocked on the door and since no one answered it, he went through it in his invisible state.

And what he found on the other side was a nightmare. The little apartment was a mess. Tossed over furniture and all kind of things on the floor. It looked like after a battle.

The Demon stopped when he saw the white note on the table and from the energy that came from it he knew immediately who’d written it. He picked it up and read it.

‘ _Again you are too late. How does it feel always being late? You sucked as a Guardian Angel and even as a Demon you’re unable to protect somebody. I allowed myself to take him with me since he isn’t your responsibility anymore… but wait. You shouldn’t care, right?’_

Ruka’s energy was reeking from it. Ni~ya burned the note in his hands and roared out loud in rage. He concentrated a moment and closed his eyes before he started running out the house again.

He ran down the wet black streets of the night. Concentrating on some kind of known energy, he suddenly felt how a rush of panic went through his immortal body. He ‘felt’ Sakito being in panic. The Demon shook his head. It was impossible… it SHOULD be impossible! Their bound should have been destroyed the moment he’d entered hell a century ago but again this was a proof that he could still feel Sakito in extreme situations.

And luckily: With that link he could find him. Anywhere.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

When Hakuei was discharged three days later, his closest friends were all there: Asagi, Hitsugi and Toshiya, their future Leader. Asagi used to drive the family car back in the days and he gladly took his old job back. The past few days, Toshiya had been busy to brief his staff at home and get the private quarters in his large house prepared for his old Yakuza-family members to move back in. He didn't have the time yet to establish his coming back to the Yakuza families though.

It was around midday when Toshiya, Hakuei, Hitsugi and Asagi reached the old, huge Hara mansion. Hakuei whom sat in the back of the car together with Toshiya was very quiet the whole time over. He looked out the window when the Benz car pulled in an drove up the overgrown drive way. Everything seemed much taller than he remembered it, the trees were bigger and shut in this small little world which was a cosmos to itself.

Hakuei breathed in deeply without realizing it and Toshiya knew that the past days he's had on this property must play in front of his inner eyes. And to be true, coming back now, even after almost 20 years, it still sent shivers down his spine. Having a broad Buddhist background now Hakuei knew, that the past was the past and he could only make things better to live truthful in the present now.

They got out the car and the smell of the pine trees strangely felt like coming home. Hitsugi next to Hakuei smirked while Asagi unloaded their bags. Hitsugi and Asagi had already moved into their new-old quarters, while Hakuei still had to.

“Not bad eh, what do you think?” Hitsugi asked.

“Not bad.” Honestly, at the moment, it was a little bit much. Hakuei would need the time to sort himself out first.

Toshiya, whom got his own bag from the car walked in front of them and motioned them to follow inside. Hitsugi and Asagi took a turn left inside the house while Toshiya motioned Hakuei to follow into the old part of the house. Their former quarters. And he knew by Hakuei's silence that it would take him some time to feel at home again. At some point, the feeling was so palpable that Toshiya had to stop. Hakuei did so as well and looked at him, still holding his bags in his hands.

“It must be hard for you and I wanted to let you know that I appreciate the effort. I guess I'm talking for all of us that if you need space and time, we will all give it to you.” Toshiya said and it momentarily brought a smile to Hakuei's mouth.

“Thank you. You know, it's still so present, so familiar. My head still tells me to run but my heart wants to stay. I need to confront the past as you did.” He said that with a slight nod before he continued: “Your room, is it still the same one?”

“No, I moved to the back of the house, into the larger quarters. There is also my private office. I prepared you a new room in the back quarters as well, not far from your old room but if you want your old room back then that's fine too.”

“A new room is fine. As long as it's not too far away from yours because I must know that you are safe at night.” Since Hakuei used to be his former bodyguard, this statement was only partially strange, their rooms used to be next to each other. Now a large Tatami living room separated them.

And concerning their recent 'circumstance', Toshiya tried not to think too much into that. As a matter of fact, they treated each other as if nothing had changed after the kiss, not a word about the kiss had been said. They both handled themselves rather professional.

Toshiya continued his way and Hakuei followed him. He showed him into his new room which was quite lovely. All bed rooms had double glass sliding doors which were connected with a large veranda that runs around the house, thew view was spectacular into an old tended Japanese garden. Hakuei smiled at himself and guessed that his retreat didn't differ too much from his room at the Buddhist temple.

“It's beautiful.” Hakuei said in his deep voice and Toshiya smiled. “I'm glad that you like it. I will leave you to yourself then and later, let's have dinner together.” Toshiya turned to step out the door but he was hold back around his wrist. Surprised, he turned around to Hakuei and looked at him back in wonder. His eyes showed a strange vulnerability. “I’m sorry for not being the person you once knew.” Hakuei started.

Toshiya shook his head in reflex. “What are you saying? I wouldn't want you any other way. My father adopted you as a son because he believed in you and I am sure that he would be very proud of us right now. We made it this far.”

Hakuei sighed out loud as he felt slightly flustered by Toshiya's confession. “You are giving me too much credit as usual.”

“I don't think so.” Toshiya smiled.

“You must know that after the incident 20 years ago, I swore to myself that I would never kill a person again. I don't know if I can ever be of full service again Toshiya. I’m a broken person. I may look like a tough guy but I am imperfect and I ran-“

Now Toshiya stepped closer and he took both of Hakuei's hands into his. “Don't you see? We all did.” He paused. “But it is never too late to start again. We all needed that time, trust me, even Hitsugi and Asagi did.” Toshiya's gaze became sincere when he looked up at the older man. “I don't know why but it still feels like a miracle to me that I have found you again. It means a lot to me to have you back here and I don't want to sound sentimental but without you, I couldn't make it. And I know it is unfair of me to pressure you with this statement but it is the truth.”

Another pause. “I will respect your vow and I would never force you to do anything that goes against your morals. You can even start painting or knitting for goodness' sake, do whatever makes you feel whole but in this place, you got yourself a family again. Go if you must, stay if you want.” And with that, Toshiya withdrew his hands.

With each new day, Hakuei discovered precious new facets on Toshiya and he couldn't help himself but to smile. He felt strangely proud but why he couldn't really tell. Maybe it was because he partly raised him a long time ago. “You’re too good. Like you’ve always been.”

Toshiya smiled. “Well....” He wanted to let go of Hakuei's hands but instead he was pulled into a firm hug which took the air out of his lungs. And it felt so good and Hakuei was so warm, he always used to be warm while Toshiya always had cold hands and feet. Toshiya continued.

“You see, the spoiled brat has never changed. You were in charge of me and I demand it again.” Now he furrowed his slim eyebrows in pain when he looked up. “I’m the selfish person here. And it makes me feel bad because after you’d left I was hardly able to live on my own. I was a terrible teenager and trouble to my grandparents and to be honest: I wasn’t even close to live a modest life like you did all these years.” He paused. “This is the pain, the shame I have to live with. This is the lesson I had to learn.” Hakuei nodded and for the first time he understood.

“You are right. Please forgive me for being so selfish to presume that only my life was hard. I should have been there.... and to make amends, I won't leave your side ever because this dirtbag is coming back one day but then we will be ready.”

“The best family a man can wish for.” He smiled at Hakuei so happily and after staying a moment longer, he politely moved back. In that moment Hakuei remembered how Toshiya had followed him everywhere as a child, they were literally inseparable but they let this man separate them, the whole family.... it would never happen again.

 


	40. Chapter 40

 

 

 

## † Curse named human †

[(ke:s neimd `hju:men)]

 

Part 40

The Last Chapter

5 of 5

 

**Hakuei and Toshiya**

 

**~ Afterlife ~**

 

 

 

Following the connection Ni~ya still had with Sakito, he found himself in front of the building which was way too obvious, almost ridiculously so. He stood in front of Iwagami-corporation's office. Without a second thought, Ni~ya entered the building in his invisible state.

Sakito had been tied to a chair inside the building and left alone. The whole ordeal wasn't only physically straining but also mentally. No one seemed to search for him, maybe no one even cared. He had no family or friends in this town, except of Toshiya.... another face popped up in his mind and Sakito smiled at himself. Yeah, why did that stranger's face pop up... _Ni~ya_.... maybe because he seemed to be at his side at the strangest of times. But why they kidnapped him again, Sakito had no idea. He had no money and was way too unimportant to be any bait. He knew that Toshiya and Tatsuro had some kind of problems but he knew nothing about the reason. All he knew was that he was sitting here in a dark room at night, all alone in vessels, bound to a chair and he was tired and exhausted. He just wanted to go home and sleep

Ruka was on his way to Sakito’s room when he suddenly stopped in his tracks... Could it be? He felt just a slight hint of demonic energy and Ruka smiled at himself. So he had really found him but how? Ruka opened the office door with a key and slammed it open which made Sakito jolt in his chair. Sakito looked around wildly, trying to make out noises since his eyes had been blindfolded too. “What do you want from me? Taking me hostage for days…. I’m not rich nor famous, what do you want?”

Ruka smirked and lowered his head to Sakito’s ear. “You will see.”

“What is it?! Please tell me! I have no idea what’s going on… I’m so sick and tired of everything!”

“Quiet now! ” Ruka looked up and a shadow was standing at the door. “Took you long enough.” Ruka addressed the other person and Sakito turned his head around wondering what was going on.

Ni~ya entered the room and finally spoke up. “Had some business with your boss you know.” Sakito’s heart started beating so fast. It was really him! How did he find them and why did he come here in the first place? “And just in case you care: He lost.” Ruka narrowed his eyes. “Give me Sakito back and you will survive.” Ni~ya was dead serious but Ruka answered him with a sarcastic smile. “Getting soft hearted about a long forgotten ‘friend’?” Sakito had no idea what the two of them were talking about.

“Just in case you’ve forgotten: He’s not in your care anymore… Demon.”

In that moment, Ni~ya’s eyes widened in anger. It was unspoken law to not reveal its true nature in front of humans. But it was no longer a secret that his former Guardian Angel seemed to work for the same side as he did now. Well with one difference: Ruka seemed to take his business pretty serious while Ni~ya discovered himself to still have too much compassion for lost souls.

“You better watch you tongue Ruka or I will cut it out.”

“PAH! I want to see that! You never had the balls to do anything right!” Sakito had no idea what they were talking about but the next noises made him shrink into his seat. Fighting noises were all around him, bodies being punched and shoved around.

“Then I will start with you!” Ni~ya said with a strange low voice which sounded pretty much like a growl. Sakito had never heard him speak like that, it was frightening.

A window broke and cold wind blew inside. Sakito screamed in shock and called out loud for Ni~ya. It made him inattentive for a moment and Ruka took the chance. He stretched out his arms and with a gush of energy, he slammed Ni~ya at the opposite wall of the room. The Demon followed and hold onto Ni~ya’s throat with both hands. “I never cared for you but that’s nothing new I guess.” Ruka started and Ni~ya glared at him while Ruka hold him up the wall “I’m just here to get the boy but lately you’ve been interfering too much! Useless rat-“

Sakito whom was still blindfolded, screamed in between. “Please spare him! Take me instead and let him be!” It was a reflex which came without any second thought. Ni~ya couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. It was him who came here to safe Sakito! Not the other way round!

Ruka answered without turning around. “I will get you, that’s for sure! Now it’s just a question of who will die first.”

Unbelievable power welled up inside of Ni~ya and his eyes started to beam red. With his last strength, he stretched out his arms and with an unbelievable force, he hurled Ruka out of the broken window. Sakito jolted from the noises around him but within a moment, his blindfold was taken down. “Are you okay?” Sakito asked, he must be in complete shock. Ni~ya simply smiled back at him with his trademark one sided smile while he touched Sakito's side of the face for just a moment before he moved behind him to solve the ropes.

With one move he picked up Sakito from the chair and hold him in his arms. He was ready to storm out of the door when Ruka had suddenly re-appeared in the room again by flying in through the window with his demonic wings. Sakito grabbed into Ni~ya's arms in shock. “That's impossible...” Sakito stammered with horror written all over his face and the moment Sakito looked up into Ni~ya’s eyes… he just knew that Ni~ya was of the same descent. “Demon.” He whispered. Ni~ya looked away from Sakito but he realized too late that Ruka dashed towards them. With an energy orb, he separated the two and picked Sakito up from the floor. The young man screamed and hit Ruka with his fists.

With a face full of hate, Ni~ya stood up and stretched out his arm, out of nothing a long spear appeared out of his palm. Sakito stopped struggling when the final curtains fell to what these men really were. Ruka however laughed.

“Come on, are we really-?” Ruka still underestimated Ni~ya which was his downfall. The spear moved forward with inhuman speed and pierced him through his breast and came out of his back again. Ruka dropped Sakito in shock and the young man crawled away backwards in utter shock. His eyes and brain couldn't process what was happening here. Ni~ya stepped closer and passed Ruka whom had sunken to his knees, the pain in his wings' nerve system was indescribable. Ni~ya picked up his spear and walked over to Sakito who crawled away from him in shock, the red eyes only made it worse. Ni~ya bent down to Sakito and said: “I’m sorry.” Energy formed in his hands and the next moment, Sakito collapsed unconsciously.

A sudden wave of energy hit Ni~ya hard and forced him against the wall by Ruka’s invisible force. Loosing his spear, Ni~ya turned his head and could only observe how Ruka crouched in front of Sakito.

“DON’T YOU DARE TOUCHING HIM!!” Ni~ya screamed.

“I just waited so long because I wanted you to take part in this….”

Ni~ya’s eyes widened in shock. “No Ruka, don’t! DON'T! He’s not your responsibility! He has a Guardian Angel! We are not supposed to interfere in human business!”

“Who says that he is human?” Another mean smile formed on Ruka's lips.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!” Ni~ya was still pressed against the wall, he tried to break the spell, his red eyes beamed in pure anger when he started to scream. “AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!” He screamed out loud but before he was able to resolve from Ruka’s energy, he felt his own spear pinning him against the wall. Ni~ya stopped moving and tried to catch his inhuman breath from shock. Like in a nightmare, he saw how Ruka turned his attention back to Sakito. Weak, Ni~ya stammered. “No.... d-don't...”

“He’s not your responsibility anymore….” Ruka said in a singsong.

“HE IS! I can... still f-feel him...” Ni~ya admitted and Ruka looked back at him strangely. At the same time, he moved his hands over Sakito’s eyes to wake him up from the unconscious state. Sakito looked up from the ground into Ruka’s cold face, over to the wall where Ni~ya was dangling.... which made everything only worse.

“Ni~ya!!” Sakito wanted to stand up but Ruka pushed him down to the ground again, where he held him down with his energy.

“Be a good boy and stay there.” Ruka said to Sakito while he hold up his palm and a silver spear formed in his hand as well. Now it became horribly clear what Ruka wanted: He wanted Sakito’s soul.

“RUKA, NO!” Ni~ya screamed out loud and without hesitation, Ruka drove the spear into Sakito’s chest. It happened without a scream, spasmed breaths came out of the wounded's mouth. It was more than Ni~ya could take. In an instant, Ni~ya ripped himself off the wall in pulling the spear from his shoulder with his energy and threw it into Ruka’s throat. It was an ugly sight.

The Demon fell backwards to the floor and his hands left the spear in Sakito’s chest. Ni~ya stormed over to Sakito and pulled him out of Ruka’s reach. The young man coughed out blood and he had difficulties to breath. Ni~ya pulled Sakito onto his legs and hold his hands. His eyes were heavy with pain and his voice trembled.

“Saki!… GOD!!” Ni~ya hold onto the lance in agony, he couldn't pull it out. Either way Sakito would die. Blood was all over Sakito’s mouth and throat. The young man looked up at Ni~ya. He lifted his hand and touched Ni~ya’s cheek. “Th-thank you… for taking care-“ Ni~ya heard himself sob. He was heart broken to see Sakito that way. He hold Sakito’s hand and with the other one he cared over Sakito’s cheek. “I failed you… again.”

Sakito tried to smile. “Y-you didn’t…. it was you… who picked me up… remember?” Sakito meant the day he had cried in the park. Then he coughed out more blood.

Unfortunately, in that moment, Ruka had gained consciousness again and pulled out the spear from his throat. He laughed out loud and stumbled up to stand on his feet again. He looked at the scenery in front of him. He laughed devilishly. “You can’t kill me.”

“But I can.” Another voice suddenly filled the room. Ruka whirled around but the moment he moved his demonic body, he felt that only his upper part turned and his feet remained steady.

“Good bye.” The voice said and Ruka’s upper body glided down from his hips and the Demon resolved into dust.

“Uruha!” Ni~ya shouted. The older Demon who had just sent Ruka into eternity was Kaoru’s personal watchdog and therefore a mighty Demon.

In that moment, Sakito’s hand glided out of Ni~ya's grasp and the strength left his body. Ni~ya turned his attention back to Sakito and called out his name. Uruha bent down next to them and said: “Hell wants him because he has a precious soul.”

“He’s not our business.” Was all Ni~ya could say with a heavy voice.

“Ni~ya….” Sakito gasped and Ni~ya hold onto his hand again. “Saki…” And when Sakito's eyes closed for the last time, the two remaining Demons saw how a gust of wind moved over Sakito’s face.... and the soul was gone.

“The deadly kiss.” Ni~ya whispered to himself. An Angel of Death just got Sakito’s soul and his spirit was gone and Sakito’s mortal body was dead.

Unable to move, Ni~ya just kept on holding onto him, speechless from what had just happened. The feelings which he had to process were something totally unknown to him. There was pain, anger and an amount of unbelievable sadness.

In disgust, he pulled the lance out of Sakito's body, tossed it aside and pressed the lifeless body close to his chest. He breathed out staggered against Sakito’s throat, felt his soft hair…. Why did it hurt so much? Was it because they were still connected in some way? Uruha stood up and touched Ni~ya on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry my friend.” But Ni~ya couldn't reply. In his grief, he kept on holding Sakito. The older Demon stood there and observed the scenery, looked around the room and saw the whole mess. The room was damaged, a human gone and Ni~ya heartbroken…. How did it come to this?

Too late, Kaoru had sensed danger coming from a Demon running wild and sent Uruha there to kill Ruka for once and for all. He was more troublemaker than useful. There was however another Demon in danger.

Ni~ya lay Sakito down to the ground and stood up. Without looking at Uruha he said. “Thank you…. For not taking his soul.” He knew that Uruha could have snatched the soul any time but he’d waited until an Angel of Death got Sakito first.

  
Uruha stood up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Ni~ya left it uncommented and changed topic. “I’m in danger. That’s why you’re here.“

Uruha turned around and looked at his old friend. Although they hated each other once, they became something close to friends which was an impossible thing in hell since everyone was on his own. “Yes, you are. You didn't act like a Demon but like an Angel. For quite some time now.”

Deep inside of him, Ni~ya knew. But hearing it out loud, brought him back to reality.

“You observed him longer than necessary. Even helped him. That’s irresponsible as a Demon whose task it is to bring such souls down to hell. Ruka wasn’t wrong about taking his soul it was just the way he used to do things. That’s why he had to die. He never listened to us. He was more loyal to that human Tatsuro then to his Lord Kaoru.”

Ni~ya looked emotionless to the ground while Uruha stood in front of him with crossed arms.

“So you’ve come to take me down to hell?”

“Yes… I’m sorry Ni~ya.”

The younger Demon shook his head. “I will follow you without resistance.” Ni~ya picked up his lance from the ground and made it disappear again. The older Demon made a circle with his hand and a black hole formed in the middle of the room. Uruha nodded at Ni~ya and the younger Demon followed him into the hole to go back to hell.

But not before he took a last glimpse of Sakito.

 

And then the Demons were gone.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


Hitsugi's hands were shaking when he ended the phone call. It was in the middle of the night and the rest of the house asleep. Nevertheless, he turned around in his room and like a zombie, he walked out the corridor and went looking for Hakuei. It was a call from one of their brothers: Some of the Hara Yakuza were observing Tatsuro's main buildings in town and that one just reported what had happened in Tatsuro's main office. They had stormed the office in the dark after hearing fighting noises from the upper level. And what they had found was something no one should ever see.... _He_ used to be Toshiya's best friend, his only friend.

Hitsugi found Hakuei standing in the kitchen and drinking his last tea before going to bed. The older man stopped immediately when he saw the expression on Hitsugi's face. “Hitsugi? What happened?”

“It’s...” He paused. “Sakito, he…”

And Hakuei knew immediately what must have happened. “Dear God… how and when?”

“This evening in Tatsuro’s office. No weapons or suspects had been found.”

“Jesus Christ.” Hakuei put down his cup and hold onto the sink.

“Are you going to tell him? I can't, I...”

Hakuei nodded. He was sure that he would get no sleep that night.

The following day, Toshiya was surprised that none of his men showed up for breakfast. His place was neatly arranged but his three close friends were missing. Wondering, he took his seat and had his breakfast anyway, thinking that they surely had business to attend to.

It was half an hour later when a knock sounded on the door to his private office. Toshiya finished the sentence he was writing on and called out to enter. When he looked up, he saw Hakuei standing in front of him but his face was unreadable and stern. “I’m sorry for the intrusion.”

And his formal speech was irritating too. Toshiya put down his black framed glasses and stood up behind his desk. He walked to the front and looked questioning at Hakuei. The older man looked away and only said two words: “It’s Sakito.”

Toshiya started to gasp in disbelieve. “What? No… what are you saying?”

Hakuei shook his head while he said as controlled as possible. “I’m sorry.”

Toshiya breathed out in shock and stumbled backwards against his desk. He hold his hand in front of his mouth and sobbed into his hand. Tears followed and when he started to cry, a heart breaking scream left him which made Hakuei shudder. He walked towards Toshiya and hold onto him when his legs gave in. Together, they slumped down to the ground and Hakuei pulled Toshiya into his arms. He cried against his chest, his sobs were heavy and the pain sent shivers all over his body. It was horrible.

Hakuei simply held him encircled against his chest, cared through his hair. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't speak. Hearing Toshiya like that brought back too many memories, it made him feel numb.

They spent the whole morning together in his office, after a while Toshiya was able to ask for details and Hakuei told him everything they knew.... Sakito was the sweetest of them all, totally innocent, the loveliest person alive... And now he was forever gone and it was all their fault because of this stupid, senseless gang war.

Toshiya was still sobbing when Hakuei picked him up effortlessly and carried him out of the room, into Toshiya's bed room. There he lay him down into his western styled bed and covered him with the comforter. When Hakuei wanted to move, he felt Toshiya grabbing the hem of his shirt silently.

“I’m not leaving you. I will just get you some tea.” Toshiya nodded and closed his eyes when he felt Hakuei holding onto one of his hands for just a moment longer before he left the room.

It was nerve-wracking and finally outside the room, for just a moment, Hakuei hold his face in his hands before he moved into the kitchen exhausted. He poured them both some tea and returned into the room, where Toshiya had finally fallen asleep. Hakuei settled the tea next to his bed and left the room again silently.

He went into the garden to calm himself down, tried to form a clear thought because it was their job to estimate what to do next. They had to act clever and show no weakness. It was then that Hitsugi joined him and by the face of his old friend, he knew how it was going.

“Let's discuss tactics tomorrow.” Was all Hakuei said and Hitsugi nodded. With a clasp on his shoulder, he left the older man alone again.

Without discussion, Hakuei simply spent the night in Toshiya's room. He lay on the far side of Toshiya's huge bed but couldn't sleep either because of Toshiya moving and jolting in his sleep. For about the hundredth time, Hakuei opened his eyes and looked at the slender back of Toshiya, the sleep shirt which stuck to his damp back... it was out of reflex when he moved closer from behind and lay his arm around Toshiya's waist, he pulled him closer and breathed in deeply the scent of his hair. Everything seemed so familiar, as if they'd been like that forever. It calmed them both down and subconsciously, Toshiya must have felt it too.

It was early in the morning when Hakuei felt something warm lying on his chest. He opened his eyes and found Toshiya sleeping half on top of him. A smile crept over his lips but his face wrinkled in pain when he felt that all his limps had gone numb.

He looked down at Toshiya’s face, his pouty mouth, the long dark hair which sprawled over his back and onto his arms... a dejavu from happier times when Toshiya was still a child. He never let go of Hakuei, followed him everywhere even before he was in charge of him as a babysitter, happy times which ended so abruptly after the murder, when Toshiya was taken into the hospital because of shock and memory loss. That was when Hakuei had a talk with the Hara grandparents and they all decided to not avenge their family, dissolve the Yakuza business and let the child have a normal life. It was hard on all of them but Hakuei left, to make it easier for Toshiya and him to move on.

It was raining the day he'd packed up his belongings and left the property.

The only place where he could pray for redemption was inside a Buddhist temple and that's where he went to without looking back.... and now after twenty years, it was _him_ who had finally found him again. Hakuei recalled the day he found Toshiya standing inside the temple's garden. And although many years had passed, he'd recognized him immediately. It was the way he moved and talked, this tender soul which had grown up so harshly. In his eyes, Toshiya had always carried a wisdom far beyond his age. It was all that which gave him away.

It took Hakuei many years to accept what had happened to the Hara family. The Buddhist life was what gave him back his sanity but it took him many years before he could sleep peacefully again. And he did all that for Toshiya, to give him back some kind of normal life with his grandparents. Even as a young man he knew that an immediate revenge could have cost them more than gaining anything.

So Toshiya had stumbled back into his life and from day one he never bought Hakuei's cold demeanor. He looked right through him in a way, not even his friends could. He also knew alarmingly well which buttons to push and when to leave him alone.

But times have changed now. The two families, Iwagami and Hara, were back in the middle of an old war and Toshiya needed any strength and support to get back in business again. And that’s what they were all here for: To bring the family back and serve their young Master.

Hakuei slowly glided away from underneath Toshiya’s sleeping form. He covered him with his blanket before he left the room silently. After a quick shower, he went into the kitchen where he’d heard noises earlier. It was Hitsugi drinking coffee together with Asagi while some servants were around to prepare breakfast. Hitsugi motioned Hakuei to join them and he thankfully took a cup of coffee.

“How is he?” Asagi asked

“A mess.”

“Is he still asleep?” Hitsugi wanted to know and Hakuei nodded. “Sakito was his closest friend.”

“We know.” Asagi added.

“Any news about the incident?” Hakuei asked and Asagi shook his head. “Nothing. I left some men there to investigate but it seems as if nothing had happened which is rather strange.”

“Any plans what to do next?” The former monk wanted to know and Hitsugi settled his cup down. “I’m afraid it is not on us to decide that. Toshiya is our boss and he has to decide which steps to take.” Asagi took a long sip when Hakuei came up with something. “Has anybody of you heard of Ni~ya or about his whereabouts? He probably doesn’t know what happened to Sakito either.”

“And he helped us so much in rescuing Toshiya.” Hitsugi added. “Another broken heart…”

“I wonder if they met before Sakito’s death.” Hakuei continued but Hitsugi said: “Guess we will never know unless we find Ni~ya…. Asagi? Tell your men to look out for Ni~ya. Search for an ID to get his data.”

“Sure thing.”

What the three of them would never know was that Ni~ya didn't exist in any data base and that they would never see him again.

They discussed silently over their coffees when thirty minutes later, the sliding door to the kitchen opened and a fine clad Toshiya stood there in front of them. All dressed up in a tight black Armani suit with a white shirt and black tie. His hair bound together tightly and his gaze fully awake. Their gazes must have been hilarious but Toshiya didn't show it. He broke the awkward silence because the others were too perplex to do so.

“I will be out for a meeting with the other three Yakuza bosses in town to discuss about our future business and especially how to proceed with the Iwagami family. At the same time, I will take the chance and introduce myself to be back.”

It was still dead silence coming from the little kitchen table which was broken when Toshiya said: “I need a confidant to accompany me.”

“Of course!” Hakuei jumped up from his seat and slightly bowed because he couldn't help himself but to subdue to this portrayal of power.

“Get ready. We will leave in twenty minutes. A suit has already been brought into your room.”

Hakuei bowed again and Toshiya left the kitchen entrance and walked back into the main house. Hakuei turned around only to find Hitsugi and Asagi staring in total surprise at the spot where Toshiya just stood.

“I love it when he plays the dominant one.” Hitsugi took another sip of his coffee but not before he earned himself a bad glare from Hakuei. “You heard him. Get decent and do your job well.” Hitsugi winked and Hakuei rolled his eyes and left as well.

Toshiya looked out the window of the driving black Mercedes Benz. His whole aura emanated a calmness which was far from how he looked just yesterday. This was business, professional, cold and unpredictable.

Hakuei sat next to him in the back of he car. The sudden mood swing of Toshiya from devastated to determined kind of scared him but he guessed that all he could do for him was to be there and support him. With his stern gaze and deep thinking, Toshiya looked like never been out of business. While he still observed the outside world, Toshiya finally said: “I appreciate you and the others being back in the family. Without you guys I couldn't do it.”

Hakuei smiled and looked aside to the absentminded Toshiya. “You are strong and born Leader. Or how can you explain grown old men like us coming back after twenty years, following your orders obediently without asking? You are your father’s son. And you will be merciful and just.”

That was when Toshiya turned his attention at Hakuei. He nodded with a slight smile. “And I will be there for you as well.” And he meant all of his men.

The car stopped at the back of a large and expensive hotel in town. When the back entrance door opened, a group of black clad bodyguards escorted Toshiya and Hakuei inside. They were guided into a large, western styled conference room at the top of the hotel building, in the foyer next to the conference rooms several lower ranked Yakuza gathered, obviously the convoy of their respective bosses. Hakuei stopped in the foyer and observed into which room Toshiya was taken before he sat down.

Three older men sat around a large table, smoking, drinking and having conversation. They stopped however when Toshiya had entered. Mr. Asano, leader in the south and the oldest of them spoke up and offered Toshiya to sit down. Toshiya did so but not before paying his respects to each of the old bosses.

“Dear God, I wouldn’t believe it if not seeing it for myself. This is old Hara’s son Toshimasa.” Mr. Asano said.

Toshiya bent at the table again. “I want to express my gratitude to the three great bosses to welcome me today.”

“We were curious about your message and taking the current developments into account, this meeting was overdue. But tell us Hara-san, what is your concern?”

“There are two important things I want to address today.”

“We’ve heard about the incident with Iwagami Tatsuro.” Mr. Hayashi from the western district said. “And we won’t approve of such kind of behavior. Drug smuggling kills the business.”

The two other men nodded in unison and Toshiya went on. “I was planning to revive my fathers business and thus beg for your acceptance and support.” Toshiya stood up from the table and bent down low once more. It was hard in a way because the three bosses knew about Tatsuro killing his parents and they did nothing, even continued business with him out of sheer profit. But Toshiya needed their approval to restart his father’s old business again and he would need their support and strength in doing so.

Mr. Asano started. “Your father was a good man and I am sure that you will do him just. It is your land and business and it is time for you to revive it. For my part, you have my consent.”

“Same here.” Said Mr. Hayashi, boss of the western district. The boss of the eastern district, Mr. Tanaka, asked.“What are your plans Hara-san?”

Toshiya sat down again and addressed the three of them: “I want to split up the Iwagami properties and divide it to the four of us. Bringing Tatsuro Iwagami to downfall.”

“That’s impossible!” The two other Leaders stood up in panic while Mr. Asano remained sitting calmly. He seemed the most intelligent from the three of them and listened to Toshiya’s words carefully.

“If the police doesn’t bring him to fall then I will. Not only for the recent incident but for the honor of my family as well.”

“I see.” Mr. Asano said.

“But what about the Iwagami family?!”

“Yeah, what about them?! They will kill us all!”

Toshiya continued. “They are all too deep into dirty business and the three of you know about it! Together we have to close his branch of business and refuse to make any future business with them. His branch will die automatically.”

“But what if I don’t want to?” Leader of the eastern district said and Mr. Hayashi nodded.

Toshiya paused a moment before he said calmly. “Just let me make myself clear: All three of you knew about Tatsuro Iwagami murdering my parents twenty years ago. A mighty Yakuza couple and yet you continued business with him as if nothing had happened. Whether you like it or not, you owe me. Either you can make business with the honest Hara house again or I will talk to the police about you knowing about the murder and on top of that making business with a drug dealing murderer himself.”

Mr. Hayashi and the other man narrowed their eyes, having their arms crossed over their chests while Mr. Asano slowly began to nod. “You’ve got my support. I never liked that arrogant bastard anyway.” Toshiya bent down again. “I always praise myself for being an honest, respectable man.... and we were in the wrong.” Mr. Asano continued. The remaining two bosses were baffled.

“WHAT?! You're agreeing to that?!”

“I will and so will you if you are clever. Hara-san is right. Iwagami corporation is on the brink of its downfall and you all guessed it ages ago. If you think so highly of yourself and your family you will join this venture.”

The two other Leaders murmured and looked stern. Then slowly the other one nodded as well. “Business was too risky with him all along.”

“Guess you’re giving me no choice.” Finally Mr. Hayashi said. “But young man!” He pointed at Toshiya. “Listen to the advice an old man’s giving you: Iwagami Tatsuro is a bull who has been stung. You better keep watching your back or he will pile his horns into you!”

Again a low bow. “I will keep that in mind. Thank you for your trust.”

   


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After two hours, Hakuei couldn't help himself but to check his watch regularly. He tried not to look too bored so he skipped through the same magazines at the table in front of him for the hundredth time. The other three confidants were just as bored as he was. They didn't speak to one another though because they all came from different houses and talking about business was forbidden.

There was, however, a pretty young Yakuza in their circle. Hakuei could tell because that boy still carried the nervousness of a mid twenty boy inside of him... AND because he constantly played with his zippo lighter which drove Hakuei almost INSANE. He dropped his magazine and with one raised eyebrow, he looked over to the couch in front of him, where the boy sat with his legs leaning over the armrest. He played with his lighter without interruption.

“Hey you!”

The young man looked up. “Are you talking to me?”

“I am! Stop playing around with that thing!”

“Sorry but I’m so bored!”

“Put.that.thing.down.”

Something told that young man that this bare headed Yakuza ain't joking around. The evidence came when he clicked with his lighter a last time and Hakuei reached over the table and pulled it out of his hand. “Hey!” The young man stood up and so did Hakuei.... who was three heads taller and double his size in width.

Pouting, the young man folded his arms and said: “What’s your name anyway?!”

Hakuei looked down on him and tried not to be too amused. “I’m the older one here! You tell me your name first.”

“I'm Kentaro Satou and Mr. Hayashi is my boss. Now you.”

“Tanaka Hakuei. Hara Toshimasa is my respectable boss.”

“I know. The families were quite in an uproar after they’d heard that the Hara house is coming back into business.”

“I see.”

“We’re not supposed to talk about business. I forgot…” Kentaro said. Hakuei breathed out and sat down on the couch again, then he flipped Kentaro his lighter back. Kentaro sat down as well in front of Hakuei.

“So Kentaro….”

“My friends call me Kenken.”

“Well then Kenken…. How did you get into business?”

“My dad used to work for the Hayashi family and I grew into it. I know nothing else. I was never good at school anyway…” And he started talking with a funny dialect and Hakuei had to admit that he was quite entertaining.

“You really have short hair. Why?” And he was naive too which was in some way refreshing.

“For a long time, I used to be a monk.”

“No freaking way! That’s so cool!”

Hakuei nodded and smiled at the younger man. But he stood up abruptly when he saw two bodyguards approaching them, Kenken did so too, next to the third unknown confidant next to them.

“Gentlemen please get your Bosses home safely, the meeting is over. You better call for your drivers to pick you up quickly.” Hakuei looked strangely back at them and one of the bodyguards added. “They celebrated their reunion with a lot of sake.”

The group was dismissed and Hakuei pulled out his mobile phone to call for Asagi who promised to be there as quickly as possible. When Hakuei walked up to the conference room, Toshiya literally stumbled into his arms. Hakuei kept him up and asked hardly audible. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, I'm just a little tipsy.” To keep his dignity, Hakuei steadied him around his underarm and made him lean against his side to keep him upright. That was the gracious way, Kentaro had far more problems since he wasn't that tall.

“Mr. Hayashi-san!” Toshiya greeted the older drunken boss who stumbled out as well and they’ve had the funniest elevator ride down to the lobby. Kenken had troubles to suppress his laughter but Hakuei was deadly serious, thinking about Toshiya’s headache the next morning.

The men excused themselves all the way out to of the hotel for their loud, drunken bosses. Kenken and Hakuei waited for their cars while their bosses slowly became silent and tired because of the fresh air. Toshiya leaned almost completely against Hakuei, fighting not to fall asleep. Hakuei murmured to him: “Toshiya! Wake up and try to stand! I can’t hold you like that!”

When there was no answer coming, Hakuei realized that he had no choice. To make things easier, he picked Toshiya up and hold him in his arms since he weighed close to nothing. Kenken had managed to lean his boss in between him and the hotel's wall.

Finally, Asagi arrived and Hakuei looked over to Kenken. “It was nice to meet you.”

“Same here! Hope to see you again soon!”

Asagi got out of the car and opened the door for them. Hakuei settled into the car and managed to balance Toshiya on his lap and closed the car's door.

“He’s asleep.” Asagi noticed from behind the wheel.

“Yeah, thank goodness. It scares me when he's drunk.” Hakuei answered.

Toshiya was dead asleep in Hakuei's arms and leaned with his head against his warm chest. Seeing Toshiya rest in this position, he recalled his childhood days when little Toshiya fitted onto his lap completely, now his long legs were touching the car's floor. After all this stress the last few days, this was his first peaceful sleep, although the alcohol played a huge part in it too.

They drove up the entrance to the Hara house when Hakuei said. “Things will get dirty Asagi.” And Asagi nodded. “I thought so.”

 

They said their good nights and Hakuei walked back the dark corridors into the private quarters of Toshiya’s house. Although over twenty years had passed, not much had changed. With one foot, he opened the sliding door to Toshiya's bedroom and settled the young man down into his bed. And honestly, he wanted to leave immediately but the black shining suit looked way too expensive than to sleep in it. Carefully, Hakuei rolled Toshiya from one side to the other when he removed his long arms from the jacket. His tie was next and when he slowly opened the buttons of Toshiya's shirt. He had to pause for a second when he saw the scar on his creamy white chest. A constant reminder to him of what had been and that he had to be extra protective. Especially now.

Hakuei did his best in keeping a clear head when he slowly opened Toshiya's black trousers and pulled them down slowly. The young man moaned in his sleep because of the sudden cold air which didn't really help either. Professionally, Hakuei folded the clothes next to Toshiya's bed and covered the young man with his blanket. He bent over Toshiya's body to do so but stopped after he wanted to move upwards again because someone was holding onto his tie. Smiling, in this helpless position, Hakuei removed his tie and left it in Toshiya's hands.

After leaving tablets and water on Toshiya's bedside table, he left the room.

   


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It was the next morning when a young, black haired Yakuza from the neighboring district came running up the Hara mansion. He had just parked his car around the corner and out of breath, he looked around the main entrance if somebody was out there. He knocked on the door several times before a grumpy looking guy with strange haircut and lot's of piercings opened the door.

“Who are you and what brings you here?” Hitsugi said with a death glare.

Kenken just stared at Hitsugi as if he had seen one of the seven Wonders of the World... which was rather disturbing for Hitsugi. “HELLOOOO?!” Hitsugi woke Kenken who answered like a machine: “I am Kentaro Satou, confidant of Mr. Hayashi of the Western district and I need to speak with Hakuei-san.”

A few moments of silence passed in which Kenken caught his breath and Hitsugi looked him up and down. Reluctantly, Hitsugi motioned Kenken to follow him into the house and they went into the kitchen were he and his friends usually sat to drink coffee. Hitsugi pushed him down on a chair and got him a glass of water. “Why didn’t you just call?” Kenken drank the glass with one gulp and glared back at Hitsugi. “How without a phone number..... and besides, who are you?”

Hitsugi kept on glaring at Kenken with his arms crossed. Of course it made the young man nervous which was no wonder since he must have been good over 15 years younger than him. “I'm Hitsugi Ikari.” He took the chair in front of Kenken and joined him at the table. “And Hakuei is out to do some shopping. Now tell me what’s going on?”

The young man breathed in and out before telling the news. That was when Toshiya just came out of the shower. He stopped in the corridor when he'd heard an unknown voice and tiptoed closer to eavesdrop. What was that young man doing here?

“You sure?” Toshiya heard Hitsugi asking.

“Yes, we got the news this morning.”

“That bastard. We all knew that sooner or later he would buy himself free but not so soon.”

Toshiya widened his eyes. It was impossible right? Not so fast... and how? Why?!

“What do you think he will be doing now?” Kenken asked.

“If I were him, I would try to destroy as much evidence as possible. And I mean paperwork, office stuff, mobile phones, computers….”

“But what are you planning to do?! We don’t know when or where Tatsuro will strike! This concerns all the Bosses now!”

Hitsugi nodded. “You’re right. Everybody is in danger now and we have to be extra careful. But the next move must be decided by the Bosses themselves.”

Toshiya didn’t wait for the conversation to be over. His heart was beating like mad in his chest, which didn't really help with his headache.

But his body moved automatically, when he went back into his office and opened his Japanese styled cupboard in the back of the room. He took out a long, dark wooden case and touched the handlebar before he pulled out a smooth, old katana sword with a beautiful stainless blade. It was his fathers, a family heirloom. And since he regained his memories again, he recalled the fatal evening when all their life had changed, when he had changed and the whole family was ripped apart.

With cold eyes, Toshiya walked from the office over to his room where he lay the sword down onto his bed. Then he got dressed in black trousers and a matching tight shirt. He pulled out his long hair from the back and grabbed it. Then he reached for his sword and with a quick move chopped his long hair to chin length. He dropped the ponytail to the floor and left the room over his veranda, carrying his katana secure at his side.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


“HAKUEI! Thank goodness you’re back!”

Hakuei stood at the door to the side entrance of the house and held two bags from the supermarket in his hands. He looked strangely at Hitsugi and their visitor. “Kenken? What’s going on?”

“No time!” Hitsugi grabbed Hakuei’s arm and dragged him inside.

“Just spill it! What’s going on?!”

“Tatsuro is free!” Hitsugi said and Hakuei widened his eyes. “Maybe temporarily maybe not. We don’t know where he is nor what he's planing!”

Hakuei looked at them in disbelieve. “And you’re telling me THAT NOW?! I do have a mobile phone you know!” He dropped his bags and started running out of the kitchen. Hitsugi followed and so did Kenken, not knowing what to do anyway.

Hitsugi stopped after Hakuei entered Toshiya’s private quarters and Kenken fully ran into his back and dropped to the floor. The older man turned around and picked him up.

  
“Thanks…. But what’s going on?”

“These are the private quarters.”

The two of them waited at the sliding door while Hakuei had vanished inside Toshiya’s room. He stopped at the entrance of the bedroom and found the bed being empty… but what was even more disturbing was the long ponytail lying on the floor.

Hakuei shook his head in disbelieve… it couldn't be. He would never…. like in slow motion, Hakuei picked up Toshiya's hair. He turned around when Hitsugi came to check on him. Hitsugi's eyes wandered down to the hair in Hakuei's hand and they both knew what it meant.

This was a warrior’s move.

“Did you tell him?!” Hakuei wanted to know.

“Of course not! He must have heard us talking!”

But Hakuei didn’t wait for Hitsugi to end the sentence. He ran back to his quarters to get dressed and armed because they had to stop a war…. And hopefully bring Toshiya back unharmed.

  


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Toshiya arrived in town and parked his car a few blocks away from the office where he used to work for Tatsuro. Out of safety reasons, he approached the building from behind but very soon he discovered the police shadowing the building. It was well guarded and literally impossible to get inside unseen. Even the underground car park was surely watched.... he thought about it and came to realize that Tatsuro would never come back here. That guy was unfortunately very clever and he must have cleared his office of any suspicious evidence far before he kidnapped him.

If Tatsuro wanted to hide something then surely in his private home. And this was where Toshiya was headed. He knew his way around the property out of indecent reasons which he preferred to suppress. So he got off the car a few blocks away and entered the property from one of the back entrances. There was quite some commotion going on. Loud voices, people running around and shouting at each other... it all seemed like one big cleanup but Tatsuro was nowhere to be seen.

Toshiya passed the servant quarters and came into a little back garden. There he looked through the bushes and saw through an old known window an alarmingly familiar silhouette. Tatsuro was cleaning his desk and stuffed several papers into a large bag. He was obviously in a hurry and alone in his office.

One deep breath and everything happened automatically. Toshiya sneaking in through the traditional sliding door and caging Tatsuro from behind in between his arms and katana at his throat. The tall man paused and dropped the papers on his desk. He drew in a deep breath and gave a husky laugh when he realized whose delicate hands these were.

“I would have never expected you to have the courage to come back here again… Toshiya.”

“You always underestimated me.”

“So what now? Killing a Yakuza boss? One shout from me and you will be surrounded.”

“Not before you’re dead.” Toshiya pulled the katana closer to the throat and the skin started to bruise, droplets of blood started running down the blade. Tatsuro gulped and raised his head higher. Blood also shot into Toshiya’s head, adrenaline was setting in. He despised Tatsuro for having taken everything that was dear in his life: His family, his pride and his good friends.

“Who killed Sakito?”

Tatsuro didn’t understand. “What?“

“You killed Sakito! His blood stains your filthy hands!”

“This was never my command! I really don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“This doesn’t bring him back to life either! HE DIED IN YOUR OFFICE! So for god's sake, tell me who killed him!”

“I haven’t heard of Ruka for a while, you may investigate on him. He left me the day I was arrested.”

Toshiya realized that he must be telling the truth. No one in his sane mind would lie with a sword against his throat. But it hurt nevertheless and Toshiya realized that again he’d met a dead end here. Like he always did when it came to Tatsuro.

This dangerous man used the chance and within a moment switched places with Toshiya. He turned and slammed him against the desk, took the katana from his hand and held him pressed down to the desk with his taller body. Now he held the Katana against Toshiya's throat who beamed with eyes full of hatred, mostly out of his own stupidity.

“Well well Toshiya. Look at you. No matter what you do you’re always landing underneath me.”

Indescribable hatred welled up. Paired up with disgust.

“You cannot beat me. You never will. Your family is doomed to loose. Why can’t you just accept the fact?” At the same time Tatsuro slipped his other hand underneath Toshiya’s shirt and touched the smooth cold skin of Toshiya's chest.

“Don’t you dare!” Toshiya said through gritted teeth.

“Or what?” Tatsuro continued and the younger man closed his eyes when he felt his nipple being pitched. He was ashamed of feeling something and tried to collect his thoughts. “I know it was you who killed my parents, I recalled everything!”

A dirty smile crept over the old man’s lips and Toshiya felt so disgusted by him that he had the urge to puke. Tatsuro, being a natural sadist, very obviously enjoyed this power game. He lowered his head and whispered close to Toshiya’s ear: “And you know what? I enjoyed playing with you all this time.”

Tatsuro's hand wandered up to Toshiya’s throat, touched the trembling lips with his his thump and tears formed in Toshiya’s eyes which made Tatsuro smile devilishly. But the smile suddenly stopped and he let out a short breath in pain when he suddenly felt something sharp plunging to his side. He sucked in his breath and let out a short laugh in disbelieve. He dropped the katana and let go of Toshiya’s face. He stumbled to the side of his desk and hold onto the knife in his side.

“You little slut!” Tatsuro screamed out but before he was able to call for his men, Toshiya had moved up from the lying position on the desk and punched Tatsuro hard into his face, sending him down to the tatami floor which started to be covered with the evil man’s blood.

Tatsuro started to breathe heavily and when he wanted to scream, Toshiya had placed himself on his stomach and covered his mouth with a piece of cloth. It was then that Tatsuro realized that Toshiya’s long hair was gone and the cold expression in his eyes was deadly. Maybe he underestimated him.

“You’ve got one option, “ Toshiya started, “you will apologize for killing my parents and to make me feel better you will surrender from Yakuza business. Be assured that the other four families will take care of your properties.”

Tatsuro’s eyes were filled with hate but by the slightest move he made, Toshiya grabbed harder on the handle of the knife which made him obedient like a dog.

“You may nod now… or no, wait: I will take care of your business anyway.”

The harmed man wanted to grab Toshiya’s hand on the knife but stopped when the katana was close to his throat again. Toshiya pulled up the sword and pointed with the sharp side at Tatsuro’s face. The older man’s vision started to blur from the blood loss and he stopped breathing when he heard the blade coming down next to his ears with movements so quick and skilled that he was unaware of what Toshiya did. Tatsuro’s long hair had been chopped off on the floor, leaving him with the same short hair like Toshiya.

“… and this is for the pain you’ve caused Hakuei all these years.” Toshiya moved his hand up into the air. He wanted to nail the goddamn katana through Tatsuro’s shoulder when suddenly a strong hand from behind hold onto Toshiya’s arm.

“It’s enough Toshiya. You’ve made your point clear. He’s not worth the bloodshed.”

All the coldness and all anger stopped when Toshiya heard the well known voice from behind.

“Let go Totchi.”

And the katana finally clattered to the floor. Hakuei lifted him up from the sitting position on Tatsuro’s stomach and the police force stormed the room. After all, Tatsuro was a criminal who had dealt with drugs and was only free on warrant.

Toshiya stared down at the evil man who was surrounded by the police. They removed the gauge from Tatsuro’s mouth and although he was weak from the blood loss, he smirked and said: “See… you can’t even kill me.”

It was Hakuei who moved from behind Toshiya and punched Tatsuro so hard in his face with the back of his katana, that he went unconscious.

“My pleasure.”

And the police shoved them out of the room to secure the crime scene. It was then in the dark corridor when Toshiya’s feet finally gave in and all the strength he had collected before this little coup, left him.

   


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


Hitsugi was a bundle of nerves. He hold onto his mobile phone tightly and jolted by the slightest noise around him. Waiting for a phone call, a message, anything, he paced up and down outside the veranda of the Japanese styled house. Asagi left together with Hakuei to bring Toshiya back and meanwhile Hitsugi made sure that the house and its staff was okay..... except for that other bundle of nerves who refused to leave. Kentaro, a young Yakuza from the neighboring clan, came over earlier to bring the news about Tatsuro's temporary leave and he just stayed after delivering the message, grinning like a fool, asking the strangest questions and following Hitsugi around the house like a dog. He liked it here and the people were more funny too.

Kenken was a happy go lucky nature who observed the world in which he lived in with utmost interest.... much to Hitsugi's dismay.

“STOP staring!” Hitsugi said for about the hundredth time. He had no patience whatsoever for anything in his life and the surrounding world, period. It was him for goodness' sake who dragged Hakuei impatiently out of the temple, brought him back home and he wasn't planing to train his non existing nerves on babysitting now. “This is not your home, return to your boss!”

Kenken who tilted his head, looked at Hitsugi with his dark but warm eyes and asked: “Why do you have so many piercings?”

“That's none of your business! LEAVE!!”

Ignorance was bliss and Kenken wasn't hurt the slightest. Hitsugi on the other hand turned around and walked back the veranda to the front entrance. After he had disappeared behind the corner, Kenken started running behind him.... and bumped into Hitsugi's back and fell to the ground because in that moment, Hitsugi's mobile phone had rung. Hastily, he answered it and after a few nods and confirmations, the call was ended. Kenken stood up and dusted his clothes off. “Everything okay?”

“Yes. And you may leave our property now and never come back.”

Kenken narrowed his eyes as Hitsugi looked down on him because next to being over 15 years younger, he was also two heads smaller. “Why are you so mean? Although your head is full of metal and your hair looks like from a Punk, your eyes are kind.”

Hitsugi opened his eyes wide and leaned down closer to Kenken. Then he stretched out his arm and pointed at the gate: “And you just signed your eternal house detention. Now GET LOST and mind your own business!!” He really screamed at Kenken and admittedly, it was harsh. The stress of the past few weeks took a toll on anybody in this house and Hitsugi whom never had any nerves to begin with, was just done. With anything and anybody at the moment.

Kenken moved back politely, nodded at Hitsugi and stepped down into the garden to make his way over to the entrance. But before he left the property, he turned around and added: “I will talk to you again when you have cooled down.”

“DON'T EVEN TRY!!!” Hitsugi yelled after him when the gate to the house closed and Kenken was gone.

This guy was unbelievable! He came in here and talked to the people as if he had always lived and belonged here! Who in his sane mind took a guy like him into the Yakuza? Fate had a strange kind of humor, Hitsugi was at least sure about that.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


_All humans know about me. Some from hearing, some from experience._

_I can turn your days into hell and change fate with the blink of an eye._

  
_You better never listen to me,_

_You better never cross my path_

_You can ask for me if you need revenge.... Trust me, I will be there._

_I can be everywhere and I am never afraid, for I am the father of fear._

 

_But there was one person. He was the first I ever protected._

 

It was on the same day of Tatsuro's imprisonment. In the middle of the night, there was this strange sound of expensive leather shoes that echoed down the long corridor of the high security jail.

Tatsuro woke up but not from the noise, he almost startled to death when he saw a dark figure which stood inside his cell. He thought that he must have been dreaming but even after rubbing his eyes, the figure didn't disappear. He moved back against the wall behind his bed, when the figure slowly stepped out of the shadows and a handsome man in a pine stripe suit and tie showed himself in the moon light. And the man.... started to applaud.

“Well done, Mr. Iwagami. Hell couldn't have taught you better, we were all impressed about your ruthlessness.”

“Who are you?” Tatsuro stammered with wide opened eyes.

The charismatic 'man' smiled and stopped applauding. “You know who or what I am.”

Tatsuro shook his head, not saying the name out loud.

“I am the Dark Lords' son, Kaoru is a name I used to love on earth. Yet, I am amazed that you seem surprised. You did your best to land on our side really. But for my taste, you are too eager, too ambitious. There are plenty of those in hell, I can tell you that.”

Tatsuro didn't dare to ask but Kaoru knew about all the w-questions. “Why I am here? Well, I don't want to seem sentimental but you mingled with some personal business of mine...” Kaoru pulled up a chair from underneath the only desk in this cell and sat onto it with crossed legs. “You have your eyes on someone that stands under my protection....”

“Toshiya?”

“Exactly. You must know, we have a past although he doesn't remember it right now...” Kaoru knotted his fingers together. “And I hate it when strangers interfere with my business.... to make a long story short: You will keep your hands off of him. He is highly guarded by heaven and hell.” Kaoru lifted his gaze and looked Tatsuro straight in the eyes: “Toshiya is dead to you and you will not seek revenge nor hurt his family any longer, understand? Or I will take your life in return, in a not so pleasant way.” Kaoru stood up. “I hope I made myself clear, I won't repeat it.”

The glare in Tatsuro's eyes was dark and hateful when he looked aside, processing the words he'd just heard. He used all these days in jail to think about an ugly plan on how to destroy them all and make Toshiya his pet....

In that moment, Kaoru stood up and pulled Tatsuro's chin up to look at him. “Toshiya is no ones pet, he is free and I will make sure of it.” Tatsuro's eyes widened from the realization that he must have read his mind. Kaoru let go off him and stepped back into the room when Tatsuro suddenly asked: “Are you telling me that you're the mightiest Demon wandering earth with feelings for a human? That you are capable of Love? Don't make me laugh.”

When Kaoru turned around, his eyes were all black, except for his iris which was red. That was his true look, one he didn't show too often: “Monsters like me are not capable to love, we are obsessed. Mark my words well.” And within a moment, Kaoru had vanished and left a perplex Tatsuro behind.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


In the security of his home, Toshiya tossed in his sleep. He usually never dreamt but this dream was really intense…. It felt as if he lived it. He saw every scene so clearly and heard people talking and thinking at the same time and yet it felt totally natural. Everything that happened just made sense.

In this dream, Toshiya felt being embraced by someone and it felt really warm. Somebody who cared deeply and purely for him. It was a feminine energy. Then he felt another person being around and this person playfully tousled through his hair…. Toshiya liked that masculine energy very much as well. Then he felt like being warmly hugged from a petite and very lovely person and now the feeling of missing came up. Toshiya felt as if he knew all this people from somewhere but he had no idea from where. The feeling of ‘being home’ and meeting some very important friends came up.

Then all of a sudden the scene changed and Toshiya found himself in some kind of movie. He looked around and found himself in a really noble hall with lots of people standing around him. He was all alone but it felt as if he was waiting for someone. He looked around when he finally felt being encircling from behind. He had to think about Hakuei, then he heard his voice in his head:

‘ _Let’s go home.’_

Another change of scenes. The place around him was dark and the feeling of war was in the air. Toshiya felt that he was screaming his lungs out but he couldn't make out the words nor the meaning behind it. He felt like being mentally torn apart, devastated. Shadows were all around him but he couldn’t make out faces or features. He was focused on something else… or somebody he deeply cared about and that was more important than his own life…. He felt so unbelievably sad and hurt, he heard his own voice in his head talking.

‘ _I love you… always. Remember the promise we’ve made….’_

‘ _I remember.’_

Then a feeling of deepest sadness washed over him and something inside of him just died.

It was already evening and Hitsugi, Asagi and Hakuei were sitting inside the kitchen at their little coffee table, talking about what happened the last few hours. When Hakuei had returned back home with Toshiya earlier that day, he had carried him straight into bed and left the darkened room to him to rest.

“.... the police took him right away but what scared me the most was Toshiya, he almost lost it.” Hakuei reported.

“Thank goodness you arrived in time.” Hitsugi said. “But we must be prepared. We don't know when this mad man will be set free again and on top of it, the old Yakuza families are anxious too. The upcoming time will be a fragile walk on ice.”

“True true.” Asagi said before he took another sip of his beer. That was when a loud heartbreaking scream echoed through the house which froze the three men for an instant. Then Hakuei popped up and ran straight into the private quarters to Toshiya's room. Hitsugi hold Asagi back when he wanted to follow. “They will be fine.” Hitsugi added.

Hakuei pulled the sliding door open and found Toshiya crying in his bed heartbreakingly, his shoulders shivering, covering his eyes with his comforter. He walked in and sat down onto the bed, he touched Toshiya's shoulder and the young man winced before he removed the comforter from his eyes.... he didn't explain himself, he just threw his arms around Hakuei's throat and cried silently into his shoulder.

“Dear God Totchi, what happened? Are you all right?”

Toshiya buried his face deep onto Hakuei and shook his head in between his sobs. He was so out of himself that Hakuei started to worry. So he did the only thing worth doing in a situation like this: He kept on holding him silently and cared through his hair, his back and calmed him down. It took a while until the sobs died down and even longer until his breathing was normal again. Despite all that, Toshiya kept on embracing Hakuei tightly and didn’t let go. They must have sat like this for about an hour. Only then, Hakuei dared to ask: “Did you dream about your parents?”

Toshiya bit his lip and shook his head. “No…” He said with a hoarse voice. “It was something else and really strange.”

“What do you mean?”

Another long pause. Toshiya tried to make out words to describe what it could have possibly been but he didn't really know either. “I felt like loosing something very important.... Call me strange but it felt like from another time.”

“You mean rebirth?” Hakuei looked surprised down at Toshiya.

“You believe in it?”

“Totchi, I’m a retired monk. It's our law. It would explain your strong reaction.” Toshiya shrugged.

“Do you remember the content?”

Toshiya didn't really know what it was all about and maybe it was intuition when he spoke next: “I think I felt you and that I’d lost you. But not loosing like ending a friendship, it felt much deeper… it was so horrible.” Hakuei's hand rested on Toshiya's head who was still leaning against Hakuei's shoulder. “I'm sorry about today. It was childish. I promise you to never to do something so stupid again and you promise me to never leave my family again.”

“Promise.” Hakuei said without hesitation. “You know,” he continued, “it’s really strange but you telling me about this dream… it feels somewhat familiar. Somehow I know what you mean and it describes the feeling perfectly which I do carry within me since I can remember: Being stranger to this world and torn on the inside. I tried to find an answer for this kind of feeling during meditations but never got an answer. Then I realized that we can only try to life with it and accept that kind of feeling.”

Toshiya mumbled against Hakuei's shoulder. “I never knew you felt like this before.”

“No one did.” He paused. “I didn't want to bother you with my personal stuff.”

Toshiya shook his head.“Please do bother me with your personal stuff. What concerns you concerns me. You are under my protection now.” Hakuei smiled. It wasn't supposed to be like this, the younger one watching over the older one but of course he understood Toshiya's position as the family head.

Toshiya closed his eyes when he felt a kiss on his hair. “Thank you for never giving up on this old man.” Hakuei added with his warm lovingly voice.

Hakuei was all Toshiya had left but he wouldn't burden him with the fact, afraid that he would crumble under a responsibility he might didn't want to carry.... He loved him from an early age on but he couldn't push him to do so too. Maybe the kiss back then in the hospital was all out of concern and friendship, who knew.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


The following days, Toshiya could often be found back in the private gardens, sitting on his veranda just gazing and thinking to himself. He was looking for a little bit of privacy and jolted by the slightest noise in and outside his world. Everything that had happened came slowly up now and had to be processed. The abduction, Sakito's death, Hakuei....

Meanwhile, his men were busy with answering calls from the neighboring clans about business inquiries and so on. They tried to shield Toshiya as much as possible but they all knew that sooner or later they had to return back to business. They also did their best to always know about Tatsuro's whereabouts and if the case was submit to a court. Until now, nothing had happened.

Hitsugi leaned against the veranda pillar on the other side of the house, not far from the main entrance. It was noon and he had just escaped the bureaucracy from making appointments for Toshiya for the following weeks. So he lit a cigarette and listened to the birds singing when the telephone rang again for probably the 20th time today. He breathed his smoke out annoyed and rolled his eyes while he ruffled through his hair.... he ignored it and took a long drag on his cigarette.

“Are you not answering the phone?”

Hitsugi jolted and turned to his left where he saw Kenken standing in the garden.

“What.the.hell are you doing here?” Hitsugi said in disbelieve and glared down to the young man while taking in another deep drag when the phone finally stopped ringing. “We are not hiring if that's what you came here for.”

Kenken smiled and walked up to where Hitsugi was standing. “Are you asking?”

Hitsugi exhaled smoke down onto Kenken's head. “Not in my wildest dream. What do you want?”

Kenken waved the smoke away and with squinted eyes he looked up at Hitsugi. “I need to speak with Hakuei.”

“What's your business with him?”

“It's private. You better ask him if you want to know.”

Another long breath was exhaled. “Unbelievable. No respect for the elders.” Hitsugi rubbed his cigarette against the stone floor to finish it and went inside the house, leaving Kenken behind.

“Hitsugi-kuuuun, where are you going?” Kenken stopped at the veranda and looked inside the house where Hitsugi had just vanished. A few moments later, Hakuei appeared and he guided Kenken inside the house. They disappeared into a little office where a lot of documents, a notebook and several telephones were lying. This was Hakuei's office and he closed the western styled door for privacy. He offered Kenken some tea and gestured him to sit down. What nobody knew was that Kenken and Hakuei were working together, thus his many visits.... next to annoying the living crap out of Hitsugi of course.

Early on, Hakuei had found out that Kenken had a keen mind and senses. Although he was small in size and seemed young and aloof, he knew and heard a lot. He grew up within the Yakuza and knew exactly the names and what was going on. He wasn't cheating on his boss in talking about confidential matters, it was a healthy exchange between two houses.

“No one from our side has ever heard of Ni~ya or his whereabouts.” Kenken started. “But what's even more strange: Together with an old friend of mine, we checked official documents and found no one under his name. Maybe it's a con name of some sort....”

Hakuei shook his head. “Unbelievable. It almost seems as if he was a ghost....” Hakuei said in disbelieve. “He helped us so much and he was so good in what he was doing.” Hakuei really wanted him to be on their side but since the abduction and Ni~ya trying to find Sakito, he was just gone. They wondered whether Ni~ya knew about Sakito's death. At least they owed to tell him that, in case he hasn't heard of it.

“I will keep my eyes and ears open.” Kenken added and Hakuei nodded. “Thank you so much for your help.” Kenken smiled and waved his hand up. “Nah, it's nothing. I like you guys, this house.”

Hakuei smiled somewhat knowingly. “Don't annoy Hitsugi too much, he has no nerves.”

“Oh you're telling me that now? This warning comes waaaaay too late.” Kenken laughed at himself. It was way too obvious that he enjoyed the grumpy old man's company, although it was forced. Hakuei smiled too for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Please excuse me in being rude but I need to make a few more phone calls because Hitsugi just gave up on it, the phone keeps on ringing.”

“Of course.” Kenken stood up and walked with Hakuei back to the entrance of the door.

“We will keep in touch.” Hakuei muttered, that was when Hitsugi reappeared on the entrance door as well. Kenken beamed. “Hitsugi! You're coming by to say your good byes?”

“I'm making sure that you are finally leaving for good.”

Hakuei stood in between that verbal encounter and didn't comment on it. Kenken finally waved good bye to the two older men and skipped happily away. Only when Kenken was out of sight, Hakuei turned to Hitsugi, looked at him with a deep glare.... “What?!” Hitsugi lifted up his hands but Hakuei turned around without another word and went back inside the house.

 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


Toshiya preferred to eat alone these days and although it wasn't the ideal solution to his anxiety problem, Hakuei gave him the space like a spoiled child. Every day he prepared Toshiya's favorite breakfast lovingly and left the tray inside his room while Toshiya took his daily shower. It brought a smile onto Toshiya's face every time he saw it while it became normal for Hakuei do prepare it.

Hitsugi observed Hakuei every day running around the kitchen to get it done and when there was no change in sight, after the second week, he just burst. “So, how long are you planning to support the Hara-boss' absence from the business world?” It was the whole problematic put beautifully into one sentence because it was painfully clear that only Hakuei could bring Toshiya out of his seclusion.

“What are you implying?”

“Although you convinced your stubborn head that everything is back to business and fine, it's actually not! You are treating him like a life insurance policy, no human interaction whatsoever and yet your body and movements react towards him as soon as he enters the room, even before that! What kind of game are you playing? Please tell us! We can't seem to find the playing board where your rook is standing on.”

Hakuei was speechless and although he hated to admit it, Hitsugi was right. For crying out loud, even he didn't know how to behave or what was going on.

“He is a wreck Hitsugi, Toshiya jolts by any noise in the house.”

Hitsugi kept dramatically silent for a moment before he continued. “He is your match. Toshiya needs you in any way a human needs another human and even you can't tell me that you can't see it.”

Hakuei knew it and he breathed out loud. “Love is the last thing Toshiya needs now.”

“Love is everything he needs right now!” Hitsugi cried out loud and gestured with his hands to emphasize his point. He couldn't believe it. “We need a change in this house and only you can bring it.” Hitsugi stood up to leave the kitchen.

“Where are you going?”

And Hitsugi's voice echoed down the hall. “Just checking whether your picture is on Wikipedia for the word 'dense.'” And he was gone.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


It was the next morning when Toshiya woke up from a terrible nightmare. Shivering from the cold sweat in the early morning hours, he made his way to the bathroom and set the water on full heat. He leaned against the wall for a while before his head was clear again from many things and he himself knew about his responsibility for the family business, his people and business partners. But at some point the past weeks, it had just become too much. He needed that break and at the same time he knew that his absence couldn't last forever. He couldn't help himself but to feel numb from all the changes, the pain, the old memories and feelings. His body and mind just shut down and he needed that silent time the past few weeks. He was thankful that his men gave him the space. At least until now.

Toshiya stepped out the shower, wrapped a towel around his hips and dried his hair. After he got dressed in some black jeans and a white shirt, he returned to his room to sit on his bed for a moment. When he looked around, he realized that his breakfast was not ready. Not that Hakuei was his house slave to do so but he loved the gesture which gave him some kind of security the past weeks. He checked his watch and realized that it was way over Hakuei's time.

The house was quiet, almost empty when Toshiya made his way into the kitchen, when he opened the door, he saw Hitsugi in there alone, preparing breakfast for them. He stopped cutting the onions for the miso soup and haltered.

“Hitsugi, where is Hakuei?”

Hitsugi settled down the knife, then turned around and looked at Toshiya. A deep breath left his lungs and he simply said: “He left.”

Toshiya narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean he left?”

Another breath and Hitsugi crossed his arms in front of his chest when he spoke: “He went back to his old life Toshiya, he didn't feel needed in this house any longer.”

Toshiya's eyes and mouth stood wide open. He couldn't believe what Hitsugi was telling him. “You are joking right? There is no way... no way...” Toshiya dashed back into the corridor and made his way into Hakuei's room. He pushed open the door and the room was empty. Tidied up as if no one ever lived in there.

His blood and breath left him when Toshiya sank to his knees, it was a living nightmare. A scene which seemed to replay from his lost childhood. He stammered gibberish and shook his head, then he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, it was Hitsugi. “I'm sorry Toshiya.”

Tears started to stream down his face, the gibberish started to form words that slowly made sense. “After all we've been through, after I had found him again... he just left.” Toshiya felt like breaking apart again, the pain felt so deep that his body gave in and he slumped down to the ground. Hitsugi moved down to the ground with him and hold his shoulders. He simply hold onto him and for the first time, he was at a loss for words because sometimes, there was just nothing to say.

It took Hitsugi and Asagi over half an hour to pick up Toshiya from the empty room to bring him back into his own room. The pain Toshiya carried was unbearable and Hitsugi had to close his eyes now and then when he heard the word 'why' for the hundredth time. He didn't understand it either why they were running in circles and not catching each other.

Asagi stayed with Toshiya, an older woman who was employed by the Hara house, brought them some tranquilizer and tea.

Hitsugi who was outside at the back of the house inhaled one cigarette after the next. He would have never thought that this mental stress was heavier than any street fight he had ever fought. When he read the good bye note this morning, he couldn't believe it either. There was no explanation, just a _good bye and don't come looking for me, Hakuei._

This was when Hitsugi realized that he never knew his old friend, that he was as unsteady as Toshiya at this point. He overestimated him, saw someone in him that he probably never was.

Noises came from the bushes but Hitsugi remained unmoved, he simply moved his eyes and looked at the young man who had just come from the bushes. “Bad timing.” He said to Kenken. “If not worst.”

Kenken looked surprised. “What do you mean? What happened?”

Hitsugi finished his third cigarette and answered while he breathed out. “Hakuei left. No explanation, no personal good bye.”

Kenken gawked back at Hitsugi and stammered. “WHAT? NO?! But I liked Hakuei.”

“Yeah yeah, so did we all.” Cigarette number four was lit.

“But what about Toshiya? He loves him!”

Hitsugi smirked. “Everyone, even you realized it. Except for the main protagonists.”

“So, what are you planning to do? Search for him?”

“Me? I won't do shit. I already brought him back once. You can't force someone who doesn't want to stay. We all learned it the hard way.”

Kenken looked down onto his hands and remained quiet. He stood a few meters away from Hitsugi and the older man realized that for the first time, the young man was at a loss of words too. It was then that Asagi joined the party and the three of them sat down on the veranda together.

“How is he?” Hitsugi wanted to know.

“A mess, like the past weeks. I start to forget how he looked cheerful.”

“Yeah.” Hitsugi nodded. “That idiot, how could he have left him in this heavy times.... if I should ever see him again, I will beat the living crap out of him!” Kenken smiled weakly by Hitsugi's remark.

They spoke for about an hour when loud squirming tires suddenly silenced them. It was Toshiya's Porsche who had just left the property and their young boss was gone.

Asagi shot up to do something, anything but Hitsugi hold him back on his arm. “In this drama, we are no more actors. Sit down.”

“But-but he will kill himself!”

“He won't.” Hitsugi said relaxed and even Kenken looked perplex between the two of them. “Did you hear that Kentaro? Not our drama. Go home, relax.”

Kenken stood up and dusted off his trousers. “Maybe you're right.” Hitsugi looked at him astonished. Kenken usually never agreed to his words. “Will you send me a message to update me? I am concerned about them too.”

Hitsugi looked at him. “How? I don't have your number.”

Kenken beamed. “Well you could have just asked.”

“Not in your wildest dream.”

Kenken scribbled his number on some paper and stuffed it into Hitsugi's hand. He skipped his way to the back entrance and motioned with his mouth while he made a phone sign with his hand 'call me.' Hitsugi narrowed his eyes and formed the not so nice words 'Fuck you' and flicked him off.

Toshiya drove way too fast through the city. From one end to the other, he made his way out of town. His hands were sweaty and his eyes burned from the lack of sleep and the many tears he had shed. This was not happening, not after all they have been through, all the words he wanted to say to him and never had a chance to. Not like this.

At noon, Toshiya was far into the countryside and far away from his home. He would have never ever thought that he would return to this place again,where he had already followed Hakuei to a long time ago: The Buddhist temple in the countryside. Call it intuition but Toshiya didn't even bother to look at the local Buddhist temple in town, he went straight to the place where they had stayed together at the temple at some point.

It was early evening and several hundred miles later when Toshiya finally arrived. His adrenaline kept him running, his determination had brought him here. He got off his car and his actions and motions felt like in a movie. Everything happened automatically. Him entering the Buddhist temple, asking a young monk who greeted him about Hakuei. The young monk didn't know him but left Toshiya standing in the entrance to go ask his elder.... Toshiya didn't have the patience. He stomped into the temple and back to the room where Hakuei used to sleep..... he opened the sliding door.

And the room was empty. In that moment, the young monk came back and with him the senior monk of the temple who recognized Toshiya immediately. He greeted him, almost knowingly and asked him to wait a moment. When the senior monk returned, he had a flashlight and a map in in his hands, he gave Toshiya the utensils with the words: “ It's getting dark but I see the determination in your eyes, I saw it the first time you and Hakuei were here. He is in the temple in the woods, meditating.”

The temple was about an hour of hiking into the woods but it seemed to take him longer since it was already dark. Although the mosquitoes were biting and his way was steep, Toshiya didn't give up. Not when he was so close to his goal. He had to see Hakuei, talk to him and if it was the last thing he ever did.

One moment of inattention and Toshiya slipped and fell onto his knees of the wet wooden ground. He groaned but dusted himself off and continued his way cursing. At some point, he thought that he had lost his way but then he passed a sign and another twenty minutes later, he stood in front of the temple. It seemed empty and at that moment Toshiya wasn't so sure if anybody was in there. His heart beat like crazy, all the well meant words and arguments were just gone.

Toshiya stepped up the stairs and after a deep breath, he opened the sliding door. He shone into the room with his flashlight and in that moment, there was really a man inside and he covered his eyes with his hand. It was him, really him.... and within a second, Toshiya dropped the flashlight and he stormed forward into the room, he slumped down onto the futon and tossed the sitting Hakuei over onto his back. The older man gasped in utter surprise, almost choked because of the tight embrace around his throat. Toshiya cried bitterly against his throat and called Hakuei's name again and again. Toshiya moved his head up and leaned with his cheek against Hakuei's cheek.

That was when a breath of laughter left the older man and he reached up to Toshiya's head and cared through his chin long hair. “You came all the way here.” He said huskily.

“Of course I came! I would have followed you everywhere, you stupid man! What are you doing here?! Why did you leave your home?! Why did you leave me, I don't understand-” But Toshiya's words were cut off when Hakuei leaned up onto his elbow and gave Toshiya a deep kiss. His mind went blank immediately, too many emotions had already went through him today and all his words and accusations were forgotten. Toshiya gasped into the kiss, desperately so and melted into it when Hakuei went for his neck and pulled him closer, he sat up without breaking the kiss, his tongue teasing Toshiya, tasting him... the contact became very hot very quickly. He pulled the young man into his lap and finally broke the kiss, only to go for the neck. Toshiya's eyes were in tears, he felt like dreaming and the quick change from the feeling of loss to utter bliss was in that moment just too much to take. He hold onto Hakuei's broad shoulders to steady himself and gasped when Hakuei had found that spot on his throat.... and that was the way of no return for him.

Toshiya's long cold fingers glided into Hakuei's Buddhist robe around his neck, he pulled it first open at the front and then down his back. That was the sign for Hakuei to let all go and he moved his arms out of his robe which glided down to his hip. He went for Toshiya's shirt automatically and pulled it off the young man. Cold air hit the porcelain white skin of Toshiya's chest and the moonlit room showed two strong tattooed arms which encircled the slender long back of the younger man. For a moment, Hakuei rested with his head on Toshiya's shoulder while he pressed the thin, cold body tightly against his firm chest... just to feel him, really have him in his arms. “I never left you Toshiya.” Was the first sentence Hakuei had said to him today but Toshiya couldn't care less at the moment. He kissed Hakuei's neck and lingered with his lips for just a few moments longer. A deep groan came from the older man and Hakuei moved up only to taste this teasing lips again.

It became desperate, Toshiya moved quickly up from the sitting position on Hakuei's lap, back to the futon. Hakuei broke the kiss when he went with his arms around Toshiya's hips and head, only to lay him down within a second. He got rid of his upper kimono and drank in the beautiful moon light sight in front of him. Without a word, he touched Toshiya's cheek and admired the young man only with his eyes.

Toshiya felt almost shy by his looks and God knew there were a few things in the past where he hadn't been shy about but now, somehow everything mattered. Toshiya reached up with his hand and touched Hakuei's cheek, the older man closed his eyes and kissed his palm, he moved down Toshiya's arms, kissing his trail down to his throat again and rested with his heavy but strong chest on Toshiya's upper body. The young man gasped by the contact, the feelings itself and moved his arms from the root of Hakuei's back all the way up Hakuei's shoulders and encircled his arms there and kept him in this position.

There was no explanation what a single touch of Toshiya's hands did to Hakuei and the outcome was strongly tangible. Their bodies pressed together and their movements became a rhythm. Toshiya's breathing turned into sweet, silent moaning and Hakuei had to control and hold himself back as much as possible from that sweet tone. With one arm, he opened Toshiya's trousers and pulled them down as good as possible. Toshiya did the rest and when a cold hand started to touch him down there, he arched his slender back and moved in Hakuei's hand. The mere thought of that moment, everything, it was just too much and it embarrassed him to not last any longer. Toshiya was done with a few strokes and he turned his head aside, slightly exhausted by the too many feelings.

Hakuei who was still towering over him, kissed him on his cheek and Toshiya gasped when he felt being touched inside. A moan left his mouth again and the thought that it was Hakuei who did that to him, almost drove him crazy. He moved his hips along Hakuei's teasing touch while he still hold onto his back for stability. Toshiya paused for a moment when he felt Hakuei's now naked thighs heating up his cold long legs.

Some actions didn't require any communication and when Toshiya moved one of his legs over Hakuei's hips, the older man removed his hand and replaced it with his long, hot member. Teasingly patient, he glided in slowly, inch for inch and Toshiya tossed his head back and closed his eyes. It has been too long since he had been touched down there and it took him a while to get used to it again. Hakuei cared through his hair and stopped immediately when he saw the pain on Toshiya's face. He lowered down and kissed him, deeply, making the younger man relax. It worked and after a short while and with a lot of patience on Hakuei's side, they were connected. Toshiya breathed in deeply and it felt wonderful. It was something he had never felt before and when the older man started moving inside of him, he was almost delirious. He called out his name, his moans sweet torture against Hakuei's ears... he lost himself in this sweet world of his beloved. So this was how it felt like to make love, Toshiya thought.

With his long fingers, Toshiya scratched up Hakuei's back and bit his lips from the delicious pleasure. In that moment, Hakuei stopped and pulled the young man into his lap into a sitting position where he steadied him with one arm around his hip. That way they had full eye contact and it embarrassed Toshiya a little bit. Hakuei smirked and kissed the side of Toshiya's face when he started moving again. Toshiya clasped with his legs around Hakuei's waist and hold steadily onto his shoulders. They were both close to climax and seeing Hakuei closing his eyes and tossing his head back was the sexiest thing Toshiya had ever seen.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


It was freezing cold the next morning inside the little Japanese temple. Toshiya awoke because his face and arms felt cold. For a moment, he couldn't make out where he was or what had happened, then he felt the heating warm coming from his back and a heavy arm lying over his hip.... his cheeks were heating up by the mere thought of what had happened last night, it still felt all like a dream.

Hakuei loved him twice and made up in between with countless kisses and embraces.... Toshiya could die out of happiness. Hakuei was wonderful and caring, just like he had always imagined him to be, even better.... which would make it so much harder if he really wanted to leave the Hara family for good. He couldn't let him go, never.

Toshiya turned around to face Hakuei who was still soundly asleep. He had quite long eyelashes and his hair had grown out quite a bit. Only a few centimeters but he was getting there. Toshiya stretched out his hand and rested with it on Hakuei's chest to feel his heart beat. The grown man reacted slightly by the cold hand's touch and still with his eyes closed, he reached for Toshiya's hand and kissed it, Toshiya smiled and whispered a good morning. Hakuei pulled him close to himself and rested with his chin on Toshiya's head, still with his eyes closed. He breathed in Hakuei's scent and wished that this moment would last forever.

That was when Toshiya's mobile phone rang and he could have sworn by the aggressive ringing that it was Hitsugi, wondering whether he was all right. Toshiya moved in his embrace but Hakuei hold him back. “Don't go.”

“Hitsugi must be worried sick about us.”

“We will return later.”

“We?”

“Or do you want me to stay here?”

“No! Never! I---” Toshiya sat up on the small futon and Hakuei followed him, stretched his arms and neck. “Mr. 'Don't come looking for me', what is your crazy brain thinking? What is your plan? Because I can't follow you at all.”

Hakuei breathed in deeply and took Toshiya's hands. “I never wanted to leave you, the family. Not now and not then. In the past we all had to leave because the business was dissolved after the murder. And now I had to leave because you didn't wake up from your lethargy.”

Toshiya opened his eyes and mouth wide in realization. He wanted to retard.... but couldn't. In a wicked way, Hakuei was right. They both knew that. Giving a breath of laughter, Toshiya nodded and looked aside for a moment before he turned his attention back to Hakuei. “You will be punished for fooling your boss like that you know...” Hakuei smiled adorably and added with his husky voice. “Please do so.” And pulled the younger man up onto his lap.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

From all the stress the last few days, Hitsugi found himself smoking outside more often than usual. It was night already, the second day after Toshiya and Hakuei's disappearance. And although Toshiya sent him a text earlier, that they would both return together, Hitsugi was still anxious and could only fall asleep peacefully when both of them were safely back home. He guessed that the inner softness came with age.... took him 40 years after all.

From the moment Hitsugi had hold Hakuei's good bye note in his hands two days ago, he'd suspected some kind of coup behind it. Because the way Hakuei and Toshiya were interacting consciously and unconsciously with each other, none of them could have left the other one behind.

While Hitsugi kept on waiting outside in the gardens where he could see the pavement leading into Toshiya's car park, he smoked his third cigarette. Startled from a noise which came out of the bushes, he pulled out his gun and pointed it at the bush.

Kenken held up his hands in utter surprise and Hitsugi pulled it back with a grunt. “Dear Lord!” Hitsugi breathed out loud. “Can't you just come through the main door like every other guest?!”

“You never texted me.”

“Boo hoo.” Hitsugi added but Kenken ignored him and just started with what he wanted to say before his courage left him. “You know what? I was thinking about how to become a part of your family without betraying my boss so I came to the conclusion.... ahm, I wondered... well.... Will you marry me Hitsugi?”

The crazy styled man chocked on his own smoke and coughed out loud a few times before he collected his mind and looked bewildered at the young man: “Did you hit your head?! Are you insane?! How can you possibly ask ME that?!!! I hope that was just one of your many jokes and-”

“I am not joking, I am perfectly aware of what it means and I never thought that I would have to be the one to ask that question but here we are and-”

“Wowowowowow!” Hitsugi hold up his hand. This day couldn't get any more strange. “There is no 'WE' understand? Never ever think, presume or even HOPE that there will ever be a 'we'. Never, understand? And stop hitting on me, I don't want to ever be thought of as a homo because I.am.not. This conversation is over.”

Hitsugi left a perplex looking Kenken back in the gardens where the sound of the cicadas became almost unbearable in his ears. Usually he would shrug it off, laugh about it like he always did when Hitsugi was mean to him but that..... actually hurt. He took a few deep breaths and by the third breath he had to tell his mind that he wouldn't cry. Of course he knew by the time he came up with the idea to propose that it would be INSANE to confront Hitsugi with such a question but that it would actually hurt to be looked down upon from Hitsugi for being gay.... was a new experience.

Kenken turned around and left the gardens and went his secret path through the bushes back to the side entrance. He jumped when he heard a deep voice greeting him.

“Asagi-kun, you startled me.” Kenken said while he hold onto his chest.

“Sorry about that.” Asagi was smoking too and looked up at the sky. “You know....” He started. “Hitsugi is the most complex person I know. I don't know what you were talking about but just try not to push any more buttons on him. He can become very mean and we don't want to see you suffer because of his temper.”

“I asked him to marry me.”

Asagi showed a similar reaction to Hitsugi. He gawked back at Kenken and said in the heat of the moment: “Hitsugi? Gay? You will never see that in the history of fucking never ever. He loves big breasted women too much. Oh Kenken, what have you been thinking...”

A world shattered for Kenken and the movie called life played in front of his eyes in black and white. His hands were sweaty and the former great idea seemed so ridiculous now.

“Really?” Kenken tried to smile but his own words got stuck in his throat. “Yeah, it was just a joke. It's as you said, I love pushing buttons. Well then Asagi, thanks for your honesty, take care.” And with that, Kenken left the property and went back home after a long stroll through the city.

   


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


Toshiya and Hakuei had returned late that night from their short but nerve wracking excursion. What followed after that was a lively monologue from Hitsugi with a lot of f-words and dickheads in between. After that, he took Hakuei into a firm hug nevertheless as he was glad to have them both back safe and sound.

It was also Hitsugi who prepared breakfast for all of them the next morning. But because his hands were fidgety and he didn't sleep well that night, he dropped a plate. Asagi showed up at the door and leaned with arms crossed against the door frame while he observed Hitsugi getting rid of his mess. After he did that, he turned around to Asagi and by the look on his face he knew that Asagi knew.

“Don't even start.” Hitsugi said.

“Wasn't planning to.” Asagi had to try to keep his amusement to himself. Admittedly, he enjoyed seeing Hitsugi a little worn-out because of that matter. In the past and God knew, he broke many female hearts, maybe that was karma.

So Asagi sat down on the table and Hitsugi followed him with a big cup of black coffee. “No word to Hakuei.” Was all Hitsugi said and the matter was through.

Turned out that Kenken wasn't showing up for a complete month which was unusual because even when he had no news (and that was hardly the case), he often showed up to chat or have a cup of tea. Even Hakuei who was naturally dense couldn't help himself but to notice the change.... it made Hitsugi anxious too because he was afraid that this unusual behavior could lead back to him... which it did anyway.

“Hitsugi, were you mean to Kenken again?” Hakuei asked him one morning at the breakfast table.

“As if!” Was all he said and Hakuei dropped the matter. Of course it was because of him and Hakuei decided to call Kenken later to see what was doing.

At first the young man didn't pick up. By the second call, he answered his mobile phone but sounded quite distant. “Are you okay Kenken? We are worried about you.”

“Yeah, I'm fine. Just not really feeling it these days.”

“That's okay. You come by and visit us again when you feel better okay?” Hakuei said and Kenken thanked him in all honesty.

Hitsugi became nervous because of the whole incident. He knew that Hakuei had called him to check on him but when he didn't show up for another week, he couldn't help himself any longer. All the way up to the Hayashi Main house, he cursed at himself, the world and circumstances that made him go all the way up there which was way beneath him as he was the elder one here.

He knew where the western boss' house was and rang the doorbell a little insecure. A strange Yakuza answered the door and looked confused back at Hitsugi, his many piercings, colorful hair and clothes. Jokingly, the Yakuza said: “To whom do I owe the pleasure, Princess?”

Hitsugi FUMED internally but marked Hakuei's words well to not start a fight everywhere he went to, especially not with their business partner. “I am Hitsugi Ikari, an acquaintance from Kentaro Satou. Is he at home? Couldn't reach him on his mobile phone.” Which was a lie, he would never call somebody.

“Just wait here, let me check on him.” The door closed and Hitsugi waited in front of the door, still in disbelieve that he was here. It took enough time to make him even more queasy about what to say, as he would obviously not go back on his word about that ridiculous proposal. The door opened and Kenken looked at him with eyes as wide as his opened mouth.

“Hitsugi-san!” He awoke and stormed forward to hug Hitsugi tightly. “You came to visit me! I can't believe it! I would have never dreamt-” Hitsugi tried to shove Kenken away with a not so happy face but it was in vain. Kenken literally glued himself to the older man who always smelled like sweet tobacco.

“Are you done yet? Collect yourself! We are standing in front of the main entrance.” Kenken moved back, still beaming at Hitsugi and all the pain that seemed to have been there was gone. Hitsugi should have known, he was such an idiot to believe that he had possibly hurt him. “I came here to apologize for being too harsh the other day but I can see now that you are all good so good bye-”

Hitsugi already turned around but Kenken hold him back on his sleeve without looking into his wondering eyes. He started. “I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.” Hitsugi listened silently. “It will never happen again.”

He looked up with his young dark eyes and Hitsugi said: “Promise?” And Kenken nodded. “Good. So come back now and then and have your tea with Hakuei-” Kenken cheered but stopped after a single look from Hitsugi. “I ran out of excuses.” As always he could have put it better but Kenken didn't care. He still smiled and waved after Hitsugi until he had vanished behind the next building's corner.

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


It was about half a year later when a dark shadow from the past came rushing onto the Hara property uninvited. It was the middle of the night and the whole house asleep.

Tatsuro was free on probation and the first journey he's made was to the one he always wanted to possess. He sneaked in through a well known path, using the total darkness to his advantage. When he'd finally reached his old destination. Tatsuro glimpsed through the half opened window and his eyes burned out of jealousy about the bed his former beloved shared with another man.

“It hurts, doesn't it.”

Tatsuro jolted and moved back a step. In utter surprise he found Kaoru standing right next to him, looking in through the same window and rubbing his chin.

“Can you taste the bile in your mouth? Not that I know of, I've never been human. That's what other humans told me in their thoughts.” Now Kaoru turned his attention to Tatsuro who glared at him in disbelieve. “Yeah, you didn't believe me after my first visit, I thought so.” Kaoru pointed with his head into direction Toshiya's room and continued. “They are destined to be together, ever heard of the word soul mates? And no matter how much it eats you and me, there is nothing the two of us can do about it. It's called cosmic law.”

Tatsuro snickered sarcastic. “Since when did either one of us believe in laws?”

Kaoru smiled back at the dark man and pointed with one finger at him. “You are too clever for your own good. Be careful.”

“So what or who hinders me to take him anyway?”

Now Kaoru turned his body into direction Tatsuro and gave him his full attention. “This place is out of service for you. For all eternity.” Kaoru lifted up one hand to the sky and Tatsuro observed him cautious. “I told you that I never repeat myself. You made me break this promise only once.” Kaoru's eyes changed to his natural black color and a gust of energy shot out of his hand and glided down over Toshiya's house and his property. An invisible protection barrier was formed and the moment it closed in Toshiya's property, Tatsuro was catapulted out of it and landed on the street with a heavy thud.

It knocked the air out of his lungs and after collecting himself, he stood up and tried to run back onto the land... in vain. Tatsuro hit the invisible wall and was catapulted back onto the street again.

Kaoru walked out onto the street unhurriedly and stopped in front of Tatsuro. He looked down to the man who still lay sprawled on the street and said: “This barrier protects Toshiya and his soul mate for a life time, no matter where they go. If I should ever find you in his proximity again, I will rip out your spine through your mouth and eat your soul for dinner. Did I make myself clear this time?”

Tatsuro agreed with a slight nod.

And with a gust of wind, Kaoru had disappeared.

 

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 

  


_We've never heard of Ni~ya again and Tatsuro reopened a new business in Okinawa where his mother's family originated from._

 

_After a long lifetime together with Hakuei on earth, I died a natural death not long after him._

 

_I can recall it clearly._

 

_A cold kiss on my lips._

 

_Opening my inhuman eyes to an old world which we do know so well._

 

_Very old memories coming back._

 

_Old well known faces._

 

_I do step through the portals of heaven._

 

_Tears of happiness from seeing my old friends and family again._

  


_And then him._

  
I unfold my white wings and do land straight in his well known arms. He was waiting for me.... I'm shaking because I'm overwhelmed by the past memories which came all back the moment I returned to heaven. I really had him back here in heaven with me, after the centuries of searching and fighting. “I got you back… thank God I really got you back.” Hakuei kissed me all over my face and spoke in between.

“I recalled everything the moment I came back to heaven. The fight must have been horrible for you, I'm so sorry. I couldn't help it at that time, my body was possessed. I’m so sorry Toshiya.”

“You are here with me. That’s all that matters.”

“Even after all hope was gone you searched for me.”

“I always had hope.”

And he kissed me deeply like he always used to. His white shining wings surrounded us and his dearly missed embrace kept me warm, picked me up from the inside.

 

 

The future will bring new challenges.

  


New friends and fiends will follow.

  


And we will all be tested again.

  


There is still much to endure.

  


But we won’t be afraid.

  


  


Because we are together.

  


  


End of

**Curse named human**

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**Epilogue**

  


The newborn Angel opened his eyes after his mortal death on earth. He followed the long dark way to the spot of light in the distance. The colors became golden and vibrating, everything around him felt warm and familiar. He was coming home after a long time…. Then in the distance he saw Angels guarding the borders to holy heaven. They opened the door and Kenken walked through it. He saw several Angels which stood in the holy hall. Then in the distance, he saw familiar faces.

Kenken wanted to walk over to his old friends but he stopped half way out of intuition. And then he turned around and spoke into dead space to no one. “Who are you?”

Angels wondered whom Kenken was talking to but the invisible Angel he'd addressed almost fell ill from shock. He wasn’t supposed to be sensed or seen by anyone except Metatron.

The invisible Demon Angel Reita, the heavenly spy who worked in the name of Metatron was shocked and unable to move. He stood frozen although he was sure that nobody could possibly see him because he WAS the invisible spy from heaven.

“I can see you. What are you? And why are you hiding?”

Reita came back to his senses and beamed himself into another dimension. Kenken looked strangely at the spot where he just saw the strange Angel with the cloth over his nose. Then he shrugged his shoulders and went on. His old friend took him into his arms as soon as he came in through the portals.

“Kenken! It’s so good to have you back!”

“Ryutaro…. It’s so nice to be back home.”

“Come on, let’s go!” And Ryutaro took his friend’s hand and guided him back to Kindel Angel Ruki, the one in charge of the Akasha-Chronicles, where another chapter of all their lives was just about to begin.

  


†

  


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  


†

 

  


Curse named human will be continued. Stay tuned for the

##### Curse named human

##### ~ New Generation~

  


  


#  **The End word**

  


Ending song: Kiwii216 – Tears

(<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9JOwXhZ6kA>)

  


I still can’t believe that this big story, my dream, came to an end after such a long time. I carried the whole idea of this universe within me for decades. It must have been about eighteen years ago when I wrote my first draft and I changed it sooo may times because new ideas came and many bands disbanded since then. Characters I wanted to put into the fiction changed many times and so did my likes and dislikes. I hope you loved the characters and their roles in this story. I wanted to go even deeper into detail but it was difficult for me since English isn’t my first language and I’m really sorry for all the mistakes. I hope it was a good read anyway.

I often laughed at myself when I was for example writing chapters in the African desert or Venice, because obviously people weren't called Ryutaro or Ni~ya at this places but I had to keep the names for the story's sake.

It’s nice thinking back to how the story developed..... like half of my life. There were moments in my daily life when I crossed the street and an idea formed in my head, scenes I heard and read about and put them together. Scenes and people in my life inspired me and all this little ideas can be found throughout the whole story. The whole process of developing the story, writing it down, often kind of strained me psychologically. As a person who totally believes in the invisible forces, I often had battles inside of me and all too often I had nightmares but also dreams. So, for example the really important scene of Toshiya getting his wings, I saw the pictures in front of my very eyes, I ‘lived’ the scene and when I woke up I was so paralyzed of this feeling. I knew “I will have this scene in my story”.

So I thought about something like a collection of thoughts which inspired me of writing following scenes:

\- One scene in Die and Shinya's Chapter, where Die the Priest tells Shinya “God commanded his Angels to watch over you.” Was THE sentence which inspired me to write a complete Chapter about them. I read this Phrase and in the same moment I saw Die as Priest telling it a scared and innocent Shinya in church. And the whole story developed on its own. It was the easiest but longest Chapters to write. (4 Months). The song from “The Cure – Cut here” has a very heartbreaking sentence in the song (“I miss you I miss you I miss you so much…”) I thought about the two parting and it was their song.

\- The scene where Lucifer sat on the Angel statue and Die prayed with his Rosary… Lucifer used to say. “… go on praying to him.” I heard this sarcastic sentence when I attended on a open lecture of an infamous sarcastic novelist who read out of vampire-books and immediately I knew this single sentence is perfect for this character.

\- For the Die + Shinya and Aoi + Ryutaro chapter I researched books, magazines and the internet for historical facts. I didn’t want to invent too much about rituals and wanted to bring historical facts to make the story credible. I read about the persecutions of witches and the hearings of them since I was 13, (that was a looong time ago) far too young for such hard material but it made it easier for me to write about it today.

\- The Aoi + Ryutaro chapter was inspired from my love for Arabian cultures. Watching documentations about Egypt, deserts, the ‘Tuareg’ and people living in the deserts. It was a day in spring 2006, when my best friend handed me a book about Moroccan furnishing and houses… and the story developed on its own and I knew: I will write a chapter about this world, about Arabian nights. Matching song from “Laputa – Ticker”. The PV is very beautiful. They shot it in a desert.

When I rewrote the Aoi/Taro-Chapter it developed on its own, that the two of them never really shared a physical love but a short and deep psychological one which made it only more special. Because sometimes in life you can sense something developing but with the blink of an eye it can be over but it doesn't mean that it was not real. This short love story is dedicated to all our short love stories which lasted only a short amount of time and withered as fast as a flower.

\- Before Totchi goes down to earth and Hakuei says good bye to him, Toshiya answers: “I won’t say good bye Hakuei, I’ll say: See you soon.” On a certain point in my life a person helped me very much and when we’d to say good bye she said something similar to me and I never forgot it. I’ve never seen her again though.

\- The Hakuei and Ni~ya past life in Venice was inspired from a magazine I had bought about Venice, filled with reports about cultural and historical facts. I wrote it within a day with hardly any breaks. Visiting Venice a few times made me see the houses and streets where the story took place.

\- It’s embarrassing but the art school which Tadashi and Ryutaro attended is similar to the school I used to go to. The old house where the two of them used to live in the end always reminded me of the house from the Totoro-movie.^^ Moreover I wrote Tadashi’s death after listening to the soundtrack’s song “one green balloon” again and again and it just rolled out of my mind. That’s the song which moved me most and really made me cry.

\- The Toshiya and Hakuei-Chapters start with Toshiya meeting Hakuei right away and him instantly knowing that he loves him. I do believe in such fate for humans though they are very rare. I know that the whole chapters about them felt rushed and that they could have met slowly and their love could have grown and developed beautifully over the chapters and that would have all been just a perfectly lovely story.... but let's be honest: Life is unexpected and messy and things happen when we least expect it. So I left it like that.

I absolutely have to thank my lovely friend Kiwi for all of her help and great, inspiring music! She helped me so much during this fiction with Beta-reading and her inspiration. Moreover her composed soundtrack is beyond incredible and absolutely magical. She’s got talent to reflect feelings perfectly through music and it helped me very often to go on writing and with finding new ideas. You are my absolutely fanfic inspiration honey! Without your help this fiction would be imperfect. Lot’s of Love to you!

You can find her OST-Playlist (User Kiwii216) here on youtube:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWt9LU4qWWE&list=PLOHxDlg-aQ3WxxvzKWIY5AdmFsPUoorRC

  


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##  **Interview with the Author**

  


Interviewer: _It's interview time with LBC! So,_ w _hy Angels and Demons?_  


LBC: I guess it’s an old fancy of all Anime and Manga fans. Loving the mythology about Angels and Demons, building your own world out of these myths with your favorite characters.

 

Intvw: _What is your favorite moment in the story?_

LBC: There are a few of them. The Karyu/Hizumi-moments or the Tadashi/Ryutaro moments…. Also the moments which only indicate that there could have been 'more', like in between the Seraphim.

 

Intvw: _What do you hate/dislike most about the story?_

LBC: In general me thinking too much and trying to bring too much plot into everything, making it surely hard and stiff to read sometimes. It was important for me to bring thoughts, ideas, images, feelings across so I usually end up in describing too much. I’m really sorry!

But especially in the story: There is not enough going on between Kao and Totchi. I’m really sorry about that! I wanted the two of them to ‘interfere’ more, having more together but I just couldn’t get in the mood because somehow there was always Hakuei.

Plus I’ve had too many Seme in my story! I would have loved to pair up some more but it's a seme-invasion!

  
Intvw: _What was the easiest part to write?_

LBC: The past life of Hakuei and Ni~ya in Venice. It just rolled out of my mind. It fit perfectly for both characters and the words just spilled out. I wondered if their chapter should have been longer but on the other hand it maybe would have taken the ‘spice’ out of it. So I’m quite pleased with it.

 

Intvw: _What was the hardest part to write?_

LBC: Definitely the romantic Taro and Tadashi-moments. I like the personas very much so they are kind of sacred to me. So having them ‘interfere’ in that way was like breaking a taboo, making them dirty somehow. You know, they seem too holy to ‘touch’.

I don't really like writing sex parts in general. There were hardly any of them inside the story because I think in most cases it wasn't really necessary. It is such a ridiculous act in itself and I try to portray it as aesthetically as possible. Real connection comes from respect and friendship, sex can but mustn't be part of it. Friendship rules!

Other parts which were hard to write where continuations after major incidents. When personas are so broken after devastating happenings, they are empty and to overcome this emptiness, even in a story, is hard.

 

_Intvw: What do you think is the most important statement of your story?_

LBC: You can always exceed yourself if you believe in your inner strength and dare to trust the right people, no matter how broken you are. To have the power of heavenly and creative transformation resting inside you and to use it. Fight for your dreams and follow virtues that are worth living for. Although you might have to break some rules and loose people on the way because of being honest to yourself... but the right people will always stay!

 

Intvw: _Your favorite character?_

LBC: I love so many of them… but maybe it’s Karyu. I never planned him to become ‘so big’ but he developed on his own and he is the creature who changed his personality the most throughout the story. He’s a good example to be strong and disciplined when necessary and to argue and being a loud mouth when needed. Coming to loud mouths… I started to like Hitsugi very much and I love Ryutaro of course. Oh and you gotta love Hakuei, he’s the beast!

 

_Intvw: Your favorite couple?_

LBC: Ryutaro x Tadashi because of their really hard time and fitting so strangely-well together. Their way of interacting, often without words, is something very unique and would never fit to any other couple. I also liked Kami x Kai because they were so different in their tempers but perfect for each other.

 

Intvw: _Your favorite quote?_

LBC: Kami and Karyu both said at some point: “I was never good at following rules.” I love that.

 

Intvw: _Your most shocking moment?_

LBC: Hmmmm…. I was shocked about a few things in my story as they had developed on their own. For example: It was clear that Kai had to die because two strong Angels loved him. But Tadashi's death was the most dramatic death scene, I cried when I wrote it. (Partly because the soundtrack-song for Tadashi/Ryutaro is so touching to listen to.)

Maybe I should address that it was shocking for me to realize that a person can love two people at the same time... and you know that I am talking about Toshiya. I do believe that and although we know that Kaoru wouldn't be good for him, Toshiya learned from Kaoru as well. Having a Soul mate means learning from each other and that's what he did from Hakuei and a little from Kaoru. Love can have many different forms. I guess Toshiya knew that but he didn't admit it to himself.

 

Intvw: _Which Angel- / Demon-class do you like most?_

LBC: The Angel of Revenge because they kicked some ass!

 

Intvw: _What power would you like to possess?_

LBC: Make myself invisible.

 

_Intvw: And now last question: If you’d have the choice on which side were you?_

LBC: Because I believe in the good of mankind: Heaven. Maybe as a leading Seraphim who fancies the boys from the AOR ranges.^^

 

  
So that’s it! If you want to send me a comment you can answer the questions as well if you want to!

Send it to: LBC-artform@web.de

  


#  **Randomness**

  


That’s what happens when writing your fanfic late at night. Or in how many ways can you misspell a name. Wanted to write…

  
Hakuei… instead it became Kaheui, Haueki, Jakuei, Hakuri, Gakuei (Author's favorite)

Toshiya… Toahiya, Tsohiya, Toshya, Toshixa, Toyshiya (Author's favorite)

Kirito… Kirot, Kiroto

Kamijo… Akmijo, Kamjo, Kmajo, Makijo

Tadashi… Radashi (Author's favorite)

Sakito… Skaito

Ruka… Tuka, Ruak, Ruke

Hitsugi.... Hitusgi, Histugi, Histugia

Asagi… Sagi, Asago

‘Sugizo’s song’ became ‘Sugizo’s thong’

Morning became moening XD

“You have to learn hot to BEHAVE!” (Aoi to Taro)

 

  


Thank your for patiently reading Minna! Be strong and optimistic and believe in yourselves!

All the best,

LBC

 

2019

 

 


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